Goldie Hawn: ‘A lasting relationship isn’t about marriage. Intention is the key’

Goldie Hawn features in the June issue of Porter magazine. You can see her editorial here. She looks beautiful, and I can’t believe she’s 69 years old! Goldie was 37 when she got together with Kurt Russell, and their relationship is 32 years long. So Goldie knows a thing or two about keeping things together. She could give relationship advice to nearly everyone in Hollywood. We usually don’t hear her humblebragging. Porter asked the question though, and Goldie was cool with supplying her knowledge. She also weighs in on Patricia Arquette’s Oscar speech and backstage comments for wage equality. Some excerpts:

On aging: “Getting older is a fact of life. By living mindfully you understand that there are many transitions in life. You just go through them. It’s wonderful to know you’re aging, because that means you’re still on the planet, right? It’s all about how you make it. It’s all in your mind.”

Keeping it together with Kurt: “A lasting relationship isn’t about marriage. It’s about compatibility and communication. And you both need to want it to work. If one person does not want it to work, it isn’t going to work. Intention is the key. It’s also about not losing yourself in each other. Being together, two pillars holding up the house and the roof, and being different, not having to agree on everything, learning how to deal with not agreeing.”

On gender equality: “We have made some strides, there’s no question. The relationship between men and women is definitely changing, but when you think that we only got to vote how many years ago? We’re still dealing with these kinds of paradigms. If you look at racial issues–I’m reading Truman’s autobiography at the moment–they were dealing with the very same situations that we’re dealing with today. It’s human nature to create these problems.”

On Patricia Arquette’s speech: “There is a lot of data to support what she said. A lot. Old ways die hard and I think women, in many ways, are still trying to figure out the pathway to being able to have certain things. I think that [Kate Hudson] deals with that on her level. She’s not me. She sees things her way, although we agree on a lot of things. In terms of the business itself, you just have to be smart.”

[From Porter]

The article points out that Goldie hasn’t starred in a movie since 2002’s The Banger Sisters. A full decade of no Goldie seems wrong, but that’s what happens to women in Hollywood, especially in the romantic comedy genre.

I really like what Goldie has to say about making a long-term relationship endure. Learning how to agree to disagree seems like the biggest step, along with both parties wanting to stay together despite differences. She and Kurt make it work with no marriage certificate required. Good for them.

Goldie Hawn

FFN_Hawn_Goldie_KAE_050515_51731932Goldie Hawn

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet

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30 Responses to “Goldie Hawn: ‘A lasting relationship isn’t about marriage. Intention is the key’”

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  1. zimmer says:

    I like her And agree with her.

    • bettyrose says:

      Yep. And I love that she defended Patricia Arquette.

      • nicegirl says:

        Yes to both!

      • springingforward says:

        Their relationship works because it is common knowledge that they have an open “marriage”. Kurt is a Grade A horndog.
        They are committed to one another but not in the monogamous category.

      • msd says:

        I don’t see a problem with open relationships as long as both parties are on the same page, and it seems like they are. Emotional monogamy is the key.

  2. Jess says:

    I can’t believe she’s almost 70! No way. I saw Kurt Russell in the new fast and the furious and was shocked by how old he looks! I’ll always see him a certain way and old isn’t it, must mean I’m getting older as well;) he did a great job though, I believe he’ll be in the next one too.

    • eva says:

      Yep he’ll always be Dean Proffitt to me, Rawr.

      • tracking says:

        oh yes, love love LOVE that movie. Their chemistry together was amazing. She is such a talented comedienne–I would love to see her in the right role now.

    • Audrey says:

      I always think of him as captain Ron

    • Miss M says:

      I really liked his role in furious 7 and i think he will be back for F&F8.

  3. Esmom says:

    I’ve never been a fan but I like a lot of the insight and wisdom she offers up here. But I do side eye her comment about embracing aging because she is definitely one of those in Hollywood who seems to be fighting it every step of the way. Or at least that’s been my impression thus far.

    • LAK says:

      She definitely had a a face lift at some point because the few times she’s pulled back her hair, the ears give it away. That hair is a good cover for the work.

  4. Emma - the JP Lover says:

    ‘This’ is why I never understood why so many women dissed Heidi Bivens for “staying with a man for 14-years when he wouldn’t marry her!” A committed relationship is whatever two consenting adults want it to be and ‘not’ being married doesn’t mean one of the partners is using or not ’emotionally invested’ in the other partner. If it works for them, it’s successful. Goldie and Kurt are a sterling example of that fact.

    • Maya says:

      Actually many people didn’t diss Heidi – only the die hard hypocritical Jennifer Aniston fans still diss the relationship.

      A relationship is a relationship whether your are married, co habiting, engaged or just dating.

      • sally says:

        @Maya. Many people did diss her and that was a tinge of that even with the gossip bloggers themselves.

      • Mary-Alice says:

        Yeah, in theory. I’m always appalled by the overwhelming “but they were not married!”, “she wasn’t his wife!” which are pouring on any thread about any couple without a marriage certificate. It’s like living together and having kids is not equal to marriage because, you know, you didn’t march to some office to sign a paper. In the 21st century.

    • ell says:

      it’s bc people always assume women want to get married, whereas the truth is that not ALL women do. where i come from in europe, is actually quite common for couples to cohabit but not marry.

      also, marriage really doesn’t grant you any more stability than not being married; divorce is so common.

    • Nikki says:

      I feel strongly that if a woman wants to be married, ESPECIALLY if she wants children, she shouldn’t stay more than a few years with a man who won’t commit. I’ve seen it too many times where SHE is left broken hearted and at a disadvantage in the youth-oriented dating pool, while he suddenly is ready to marry with someone new, usually younger. Goldie had been married at least once and maybe twice before Kurt, and had had kids. She didn’t need or want marriage. That’s very different than Heidi Blivens’ situation. And readers here give a long term relationship the same weight as a marriage, but I think unless someone has public ally stated he or she will be committed to you for life, it’s a whole other ball game. I know I’m very old fashioned, but the reality is women have a shorter shelf life than men for having kids, and if a woman wants that, she shouldn’t settle for less. Of course, marriage sure doesn’t guarantee a person will honor his/her vows, but at least there’s a bit more legal protection, etc for having kids. If my husband died, I’d never get married again; I’d just live with someone too.

      • Mary-Alice says:

        Eh… may be check out the divorce rates of families with children. If you think having children has stopped anyone from leaving, you are wrong. The majority of divorces actually happen in families with children, therefore marrying and then having children makes what difference exactly if you’re left for someone younger or simply for a different lifestyle in a few years? Today, once the child is recognized, it makes zero difference in terms of inheritance, etc. if you were married or not. But marrying will not prevent your man from leaving you for whatever reason. Again, check divorce rates and specifically those of families with children.

  5. sills says:

    Aw, that’s sweet that they work out together. She seems to live a really healthy lifestyle which I’m sure also helps with the aging process. Good for them for keeping the relationship low-key and drama-free.

  6. Tracy says:

    I’ve waited 40 years just for Goldie to get her damn bangs out of her face…guess I’ll have to keep waiting.

    • lucy2 says:

      Oh man, me too, drives me crazy. It makes her looks disheveled and loopy.
      That she and Kurt have managed to have such a long relationship, especially in Hollywood, is pretty impressive though.

  7. LAK says:

    That beard!!!

  8. Flim says:

    Why assume she hasn’t worked in Hollywood for ten years b/c “that’s what happens to women in Hollywood?” If I could quit my job at 59 to attend to other interests, I would. Are you “victimizing” her, or did I miss part of the interview?

  9. bettyrose says:

    Preach! Honestly, marriage almost seems counter to longevity, In the time I’ve been blissfully unmarried to my SO, we’ve seen several marriages come and go. We’ve had to buy multiple wedding presents for several of the same people. There’s one especially cool set of hand painted coffee mugs that I seriously want back. That friend has been divorced *twice* since I gave her that wedding present. But of course there aren’t as many statistics on the breakups of unmarried people. I get that.

  10. Nikki says:

    I had the BIGGEST crush on Kurt about 45 years ago! He was a Disney child star, and totally adorable. Then when I was maybe 15, I read an interview where he said he had probably never read a book for fun in his life, and my adoration turned to dust instantly! I was crushed. He was pretty young then, so he’s probably gotten a lot smarter since, but like my aversion to tomato soup suddenly when pregnant, I could never see attraction in Kurt since! But the picture with beard and awful awful shorts does him no favors.

  11. snowflake says:

    that movie the banger sisters was so funny

  12. TessD says:

    Um… what is Kate Hudson straggling with exactly? I seriously doubt anyone forced her to do sweet silly romcoms exclusively after “Almost Famous.”

  13. SamiHami says:

    Couples have to do what works best for them, simple as that.