Radar: Ben Affleck is staying in hotels & pressuring Jennifer to file for divorce


Ben Affleck & Jennifer Garner Take Seraphina Toy Shopping
Yesterday, we saw a preview of the upcoming US Magazine cover story claiming that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner’s 10 year marriage is in deep trouble. The fact that US is running this as opposed to the tabloids, which have had this story for weeks, gives it some credibility. I haven’t been able to get ahold of the new US Weekly yet, I’m waiting for the digital edition to be published on Zinio, but Radar Online has more quotes from the magazine. The details make it sound like Jennifer is the one leaking this story to US and like she’s totally fed up. Here’s Radar’s coverage of US’s story:

“Ben is hardly around,” a confidante of the couple revealed. “He comes home for a little, and then has to jet off to another project.”

According to the magazine, Affleck has practically moved out of their L.A. home and often stays at the Hotel Bel-Air. “He stays there whenever he and Jen are having problems,” says the source.

And whenever they are together, the tension is palpable. “They speak in short, direct sentences to each other,” says an Affleck source familiar with the couple’s interactions. “They can be passive-aggressive and dismissive…

“Splitting up is Jennifer’s worst nightmare for their children,” explains a Garner source.

“But there’s only so much she can do,” adds the source. “There comes a point where she just has to take care of herself and the children.”

[From Radar Online]

In a follow-up story, Radar claims that Affleck has definitely consulted lawyers about a divorce but that he wants Garner to file, essentially, so he doesn’t look like an a-hole. Garner supposedly isn’t ready to let go.

“The lawyers have already been briefed,” an insider exclusively tells RadarOnline.com.

However, if 43-year-old Garner gets her way, the two will continue to work on fixing their floundering relationship, the insider explains.

“They’re acting like nothing is wrong — and it’s Jennifer’s doing,” says the source, noting “Ben feels awkward and confused” while “Jen would stay in their damaged marriage forever if she could.”

As Radar reported, Affleck, 42, is secretly consulting legal experts about ending the marriage. “Ben and his team have definitely been engaging divorce attorneys,” a source recently told Radar. “He’s positioning for a divorce.”

“Right now, it’s just coming up with a strategy and whether or not it makes sense for Ben to do it quietly and jointly so there is no battle, or to do it on his own,” the source said.

However, says the insider, “Ben wants his wife to file for divorce — he doesn’t want it to be him.”

[From Radar Online]

I hope Radar is just doing photo assumption based on how miserable Ben always looks when the paps follow him (and when he doesn’t have something to promote). Sadly the US story is kind of cinching it for me. There are about 11 days until Ben and Jen hit the magical 10 year mark (more on the legal implications here). The tabloids have been saying that they’ll file prior to then. I hope that they’re ok, that their kids are ok and that they’ll stick it out, but if they’re miserable like this… maybe it’s for the best.

Ben Affleck & Jennifer Garner Visit The Farmer's Market With Their Children

Ben Affleck & Jennifer Garner Visit The Farmer's Market With Their Children

Ben Affleck & Jennifer Garner Visit The Farmer's Market With Their Children

These photos are from 6-10 and 6-14-15. Credit: FameFlynet

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227 Responses to “Radar: Ben Affleck is staying in hotels & pressuring Jennifer to file for divorce”

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  1. Eleonor says:

    Staying together “for the kids” for me is total bs: you can’t live in a happy environment if your parents are miserable with each other. Children maybe do not understand but feel a LOT.
    I hope they’ll take the better choice for their children, not for them.

    • Sherry says:

      But isn’t staying together for the children and working on your marriage what IS best for them? Barring physical/emotional abuse, it’s putting your children and their needs above your personal wants that is best. And that means sticking things out and working on your marriage instead of throwing in the towel because you’re not in that honeymoon stage anymore.

      All marriages have ups and downs. Some of them can get really low. You don’t throw 10 years and your family down the toilet because at this phase it’s not fun anymore. You work together to get through it and hopefully make your family stronger.

      • Eleonor says:

        Sometimes marriages end and you have to be brave enough to tell when there’s something that can be fixed and something which is broken.
        Sometimes people stop loving each other, and have the right to move on with their lives, having a happy caring parent is what make a kid happy.

      • stay gold, ponyboy says:

        Sherry, your thoughts echo mine.

      • Chinoiserie says:

        Sherry I agree.

      • Boo says:

        Not if one parent is this miserable or worse, not suited to being married or a parent. It affects the kids via teaching them what is acceptable in terms of who you love, how you’re treated, and diminishes ability to learn who is safe vs. who is not.

        Jen and Ben would be protecting the mental health of their kids if they let this marriage go and let each other be in a healthy, positive way. They’ll still be a family. They just are done as a marriage it seems.

      • Catherine says:

        I totally agree Sherry.

      • Luca76 says:

        Well considering he went to rehab for drinking but drinks now , and is rumored to be a compulsive gambler , and to have had several affairs the kids are better off.

      • Em says:

        Well said, Sherry, agree with you. Unless there is something absolutely beyond repair, I believe everyone goes through hard times where you do question your marriage. And sometimes one person goes through that period of questioning the marriage while the other one isn’t, which is really rough. But if you are both willing to work on things, I believe marriages can come out of the hard times. I feel like so many marriages end early from a lack of trying or just giving up easily. So much of it is about ego, it’s very disheartening.

      • Jenna says:

        They never really loved each other from the beginning. Their union was all business from the start.

      • Melissa says:

        He has an alcohol problem (allegedly). At ten years old, I begged my mother to divorce my alcoholic father. She was very Catholic and wouldn’t break her vows.

        I disagree with “working on the marriage” if there’s only one party doing the work. Addiction makes it impossible sometimes.

      • Cindy says:

        I think the problem here is that Affleck really doesn’t want to be married to Garner anymore. He wants out, she wants to save the marriage, IMO. Both parties have to commit to sticking things out, but if one isn’t wiliing…there is no option of staying together. This farmers market pap stroll and her expression vs his, makes me wonder if Affleck told her he wants a divorce and Garner is still clinging to hope. Otherwise, why even bother with the paps? Ben looks like he was dragged there and is furious at continuing the charade.

      • A.Key says:

        “But isn’t staying together for the children and working on your marriage what IS best for them?”

        No. I say this from personal experience as a child. The fights I had to endure and listen to at home were seriously traumatizing for me, I was 9 years old. I kept going to my friend’s house every day after school because I felt sick at the thought of going back home to that palpable tension and hateful atmosphere. I’d have moved forever to another person’s house if someone had asked me.

      • Tracy says:

        We don’t have a clue what their marriage is actually like, so it seems ridiculous to opine on ‘what they should be doing or not doing.’ I’m sure some marriages would work if both parties would commit, change, and stick it out, and I’m sure some bad marriages actually damage the kids more if the parents stay in it and one or both parties disengages or acts out. Neither seems like very frivolous people, so my guess is they’ll figure out the best way forward…for them.

      • prism_go says:

        No offense Sherry, but those words resonate with selfishness. When people say ‘think of the children’ and encourage trying to fix a broken marriage that has already proven for *years and years* to be toxic….you have to consider the toll that takes on the children emotionally. Sure you can say you are doing it for the kids…..but are you really? Because parents who truly love their kids recognize that sometimes being separated but still being whole as a family works. You have to realize marriage isn’t necessary to have a tight family, parents, etc. that support the kids AND each other. Parents can co-parent without being married/romantically involved. Kids like it much more when they have two happy parents that get along (but are separated) more than two parents that stay together and are miserable. It rubs off on the kids, even if you are “working” on your marriage for ‘their sake’. Also I see a lot of biases in these comments….I can’t help but think that those with those biases are married and have dealt with these issues, which undoubtably influences how they think about it. That also affects the objectivity….a lot.

      • frankly says:

        My parents were together until I was 29 and when they divorced it STILL messed me up for years. One: Holy shit, what? Two: I had patterned all my adult relationships on what everyone thought was a happy marriage, but of course it was a train wreck in disguise and so I kept wrecking trains.

        Is there an ideal time? Probably not. But if you know things aren’t working out when the kids are little it gives them a chance to model after subsequent, and hopefully more successful relationships.

        Eventually I felt very freed from doing things the way my parents had done them because it wasn’t a true love forever story, and have been very happily married on my own terms and ideas for almost 13 years.

      • FLORC says:

        Because kids don’t pick up on their parents distance with each other.
        You can co-parent with a seperation if the kids are really the top concern here. Staying married isn’t needed. It s a way to keep attached to your spouse.

        Kids are smart and tough. They know more than parents think. Refusing divorce to stay married in public and speak short with eachother is not helping the kids at all.

      • Mzizkrizten says:

        I agree, Sherry. Both parents vowing to stay together and make it work for the kids is best. But if it’s just two people staying together and just staying miserable without trying to work on the problems and reignite the love, that’s detrimental. And sad.

      • Sherry says:

        I agree that if both parties are just going through the motions and continue being cold and short with one another, NOT trying to make things better (whether that mean counseling, dating, really trying to fix the relationship), that is a miserable existence and not one I would participate in.

        I am talking about both people being on the same page wanting to get through the rough patches to fix whatever is wrong so they can move forward as a loving, happy family unit, not coexisting in a toxic environment for 60 years.

      • Mary-Alice says:

        If they are both willing to go through the rough patches, are on the same page and working on it it’s not “for the kids”, it’s “for us”. You are contradicting yourself.

      • Sherry says:

        No. You work on your marriage 1) because you took a vow to stay with that person and those should not be taken lightly (it doesn’t say … until we hit a rough patch) and 2) once you bring children into the relationship you do everything in your power to make that relationship work so they do not grow up in a hostile, unloving environment.

        Getting divorced does not suddenly make you like that person. Most couples are not “consciously uncoupled” like Goop and Chris Martin. The toxicity in the relationship continues long after the divorce, the children are put in the middle of the fighting while being shuffled between two homes and in some cases became worse than what was going on in the marital home. (Kelly Rutherford?)

        The commitment to stay and work on the marriage “for the children” is because giving them two parents who get along, love one another and provide a secure home environment is the best thing a parent can do for them.

        This, of course, is just my opinion. I recognize that my opinion, as well as others, is shaped by our upbringing, our beliefs and our personal experiences. I respect everyone’s position on this. They are all valid for the person who has them.

      • Jag says:

        But his alleged constant cheating, along with gambling and alcohol addictions aren’t good for any child – no matter how much he tries to pretend it is.

        Their marriage is toxic because of him, and her codependency. The children deserve better than that.

        Had my mother actually divorced my raging, alcoholic father when I was a child, I wouldn’t have PTSD and some other issues right now. Growing up with an absent father – as he seems to be – isn’t much better.

      • Neonscream says:

        It depends if it’s a low point or has become the default. You are doing your children no favours by teaching them that relationships are a miserable chore. You’re virtually guaranteeing them crappy relationships in the future or ensuring they become total and complete commitmentphobes. Clinging on when one person clearly wants out is not putting the children first but putting your own ego first.

    • The Original Mia says:

      My mom did that. She stayed and was miserable. 20 years after their divorce and she still bears the scars and I guess I do too. So, no…don’t stay together for the kids. Divorce and be the best parents you can be apart.

      • Eleonor says:

        My mum did that too, that’s why I call bs the “staying together for the kids”. I was the one who was relived when my parents divorced. Seriously. I felt free from a nightmare.

      • Emma - the JP Lover says:

        @The Original Mia and Eleonor …

        Put me in the ‘Sticking it out in a miserable marriage for the kids is BS’ camp as well. A child who witnesses their parents’ distress, anger, arguments, petty emotional–and sometimes physical–abuse day after day after day without any emotional release (means to express their own anger at the situation and impotence to do anything about it) themselves, will often grow up and hurt somebody … emotionally or physically.

        And let’s not forget that angry, unhappy people stuck in a miserable situation will use the most convenient–and often weakest–people around to punch as a means to vent their frustrations. Often times, one or both parents end up beating their kids, blaming ‘them’ for being forced to endure a miserable marriage. No, end the marriage and be good parents apart, without one trying to sabotage the other with the kids for selfish means.

      • anon33 says:

        Yes. The people who say “stay together for the kids!!” obviously didnt have parents who did that.

      • minx says:

        Put me in that camp as too–my parents were married 51 years and were really incompatible. Life is too short.
        I know JG really loves him, you can see it when she looks at him.. But why does she want to be married to someone who doesn’t want to be married to her? Does she want to guilt him into staying? It’s not working.

      • M says:

        This! I am an advocate for divorce when the parents are miserable. As a child of divorce myself, my parents were totally incompatible. They divorced when I was 10 and, yes, it was hard but they have both been remarried for some time now to wonderful people. I love both my stepparents as well as my half and step siblings. Kids pick up on their parents problems. You need to be happy yourself to be the best parent you can be

      • FLORC says:

        i’ll sit in that camp as well.

      • Mary s says:

        I’m in, too.

      • stay gold, ponyboy says:

        with you again, sherry

        married 15 years this year, times god I wish I wasn’t. but I did marry a wonderful man, and worked hard to change myself- not him- to be a better person, mother, and wife.

        but we both stuck to it, we made that commitment and brought children into it.

        they didn’t ask, we just did it, and owed them, not us, to make their lives the best they could be. if that meant changing US, then we do so to this day.

        whoops this should be in reply to sherry’s post below!

      • Sabrine says:

        I would normally say this is a BS story since it’s gone around before, but there could be something to it this time if he’s staying in hotels. They have spent too much time apart and haven’t really put much into the marriage, especially Ben. There’s not much left, except a big old pile of boredom and disinterest. It doesn’t help that Jen looks like a homeless frump most of the time. I don’t know about any cheating, doesn’t seem to be any concrete evidence of that, although the tabloids are desperate for you to think otherwise.

      • Person says:

        Agreed. My parents were unhappily married for 50 years and it irreparabley damaged every member in our family. Re: countdown to the ten year mark? It counts. In California. Unless you’re a judge or crafted their celeb pre-nup there are no sure things when it comes to divorce. And dear god leave Jennifer alone. We should all look so frumpy.

    • Tifygodess says:

      I don’t know, I don’t think its that cut and dry to be able to say it’s BS. Many children of divorce say it also wasn’t easy being shuffled between two homes, not feeling stable, still dealing with the parents nonsense with each other and any other significant other that got brought in , blending families, one parent moving away,not seeing one parent enough and so on. Children of divorce suffer just like children of parents that fight and stay together and some of that carries into adulthood. Not to mention the high rate of poverty in divorced households that also impacts the child. And yes of course there are children who do much better when their parents divorce especially if it was an abusive household. The point I am trying to make is that every situation is different but I can understand why people try and stay together for the sake of their kids. You have to some how decide what’s the lesser of the two evils and it’s hard to predict the future.

      • Eleonor says:

        if you say “we stay together for the sake of the children” it means that between you and your husband is over.
        Children of divorced parents suffer yes, but children who live with parents who make each other unhappy suffer the same. My point is: you can menage to have a more stable and less poisoned environment for your kids, if you have the courage to quit and find a new balance.

      • KItten says:

        +1, Tify.
        My boyfriend’s parents stayed together for the kids. They fought a lot when he was growing up and they did it openly, in front of him and his older sister. It wasn’t ideal, and it made him really uncomfortable with conflict as an adult, but he grew up to be a wonderful man.
        His parents worked through their issues, and are still together today.

        I’m only relating this story to caution people against painting every marriage with a broad stroke or projecting one’s own experience onto another’s. Every situation is unique, and there shouldn’t be an accepted standard when it comes to working on a marriage or deciding whether to divorce or not. Every marriage needs to be tailored to the subjective needs of the two people involved, AND what’s best for each unique child within that family structure.

      • Sherry says:

        My husband and I just celebrated our 19th wedding anniversary on June 8. I can honestly say that if it were not for the fact we have 3 children together, there have been times in the past 19 years I have thought it would just be easier not to be married anymore. There were times that I just plain didn’t like him.

        I stayed and worked through it as did he. If I was not willing to stick it out for the duration, I would have never gotten married. Once I added children into that family, my commitment went beyond my promise to my spouse to stay through thick or thin, wealth or poverty, sickness and health and became a promise to my children that I would work through any difficulties to give them the family they deserve.

        There is a Jewish rabbi who wrote a book on how divorce effects children and he stated that if it is at all possible, you should do everything in your power to keep your family together. Divorce is far more harmful to children in the long run.

        Again, not talking about abusive relationships here. Just the “This marriage is too much work and I’m out” scenario.

      • Celebwatch says:

        Absolutely true that every case has to be evaluated individually. However, it’s also generally true that children of divorce do worse than children with somewhat unhappy parents who stay married. Studies have shown this. There’s a threshold of toxicity, but it’s not low. It’s very easy for kids and adult to say their parents should have gotten divorced, but they have no idea how the divorce and aftermath would have effected them in comparison to the mediocre marriage they witnessed. Children of divorce do know that reality and are profoundly affected by it, mostly negatively.

        For marriage to work, both parties have to at least be willing to stay. If Ben is done, Jen is definitely better off without him. He will probably regret it all sooner or later.

      • Mary-Alice says:

        Um yeah, so instead of actually listen to the children we will trust the whoever wrote the 257th book on the subject because what do kids know, right? Disagree. I am one of those children and I callBS on tne 257th book written by whomever and the 256 before this one. I wish children’s voices were not only more often and louder heard but also more respected. Children are not idiots and to ignore their feelings and words shows an appaling level of arrohance. Besides, there are many children who were old enough when their parents divorced, are we saying tnose “children” who were not children anymore don’t know how they were feeling and can’t compare the marriage they witnessed ro the post-divorce situation? Are we saying they were slow or what? Please. Listen to those who experienced it, not to those who philosophized about it!

        I’ve never seen a respectable study showing children of divorced parents to lack success in life given their circumstances were the same as of the childen of full families they were compared with. By the way, all my most successful idols are from divorced families.

      • Jib says:

        There was a very big study a few years ago that showed that most kids would prefer their parents stay together, even if they are miserable, because it’s easier for their lives. The caveat was as long as the parents weren’t violent or abusive to each other.

        The kids don’t have to shuttle between homes, the family’s finances don’t suffer, mothers are often left with much less money, which often affects the kids, especially if Dad finds a new partner. All other things being equal, kids didn’t care if their parents were happy: they wanted a stable home.

      • Jag says:

        But we’re talking about Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck here – two very rich people! There will be no poverty for her and the children if she gets full custody.

        His gambling and drinking addictions are well noted.

        His cheating on her – allegedly – is also well noted.

        If they divorce, those kids will still have their mother and their father might be happier when he does see them. He’s absent as it is, so it might not make that much difference. Yes, the kids will realize that their parents are divorced, but at least their mother won’t be checking up on their father and disappointed by him all the time.

        It would be better for those girls to see their mother being strong and independent, and not putting up with an addict who won’t change – rather than a codependent, clingy woman who thinks she can’t live without the cad.

      • Person says:

        I agree he will regret this down the line. Hopefully by that time she won’t.

    • The Old KC says:

      When people choose to stay together in spite of working on a relationship that is clearly unfixable, in spite of years and years of therapy and heartbreaking family warfare (this is why the John whats-his-name song Heartbreak Warfare causes me to tear up every damn time), then call it “staying together for the kids”, the kids feel to blame, at least while they’re still young. There does come a point when the kids would be better served by just having the parents break up. That point is different for every family, and I can’t say where the Afflecks are, because I don’t know them – but my folks are still together after 45 years, hate each other, make each other miserable and make everyone around them miserable. And they still say behind each other’s backs that they “stayed together for the kids” but we now know the real truth: they are both enablers and cowards who couldn’t let go. But that’s just my family I’m talking about; I can really only speculate about others.

      • Belle Epoch says:

        THE OLD KC – me too, me too! My parents have hated each other for over SIXTY YEARS! My mother even tried to starve my father to death once he started to get senile. He detests her and used to routinely get out his suitcase to leave when I was a kid. They looked at each other with despise. Every family gathering was a nightmare. I swore I would NEVER get married – what a joke.

        The Affleck kids are going to be damaged either way. Ben looks mean and crabby in these photos. Look at the way he is holding his child’s wrist. I can’t stand him, and don’t understand why she is hanging on to such a big brute who also cheats, drinks, and gambles. Yuk.

      • tracking says:

        Gosh, that’s incredibly sad.

    • Snazzy says:

      I’m with you Eleonor. My parents hated each other and in the end the best thing they could do was divorce. They just did it 15 years too late and so for all that time my sister and I had to suffer through their “staying together for the kids crap”. At one point, you have to know when to walk away, and still be loving parents.

      • Skyblue says:

        My parents stayed together as well and they really seem to dislike each other. I remember yelling at them to “just get divorced already” 30 years ago. They stuck it out and are still a pair of miserable people. I remember telling my dad when I was sixteen years old, I will never get married and I will never have kids based on how rotten their relationship was/is. I just don’t see “sticking it out for the kids” as a healthy choice.

      • anon33 says:

        +1, SkyBlue. My sister and I both would yell that.

    • pikny says:

      the kids look miserable as dad affleck.

    • Graduate says:

      Well said!

    • noway says:

      I am not a big believer in staying together for the children, but I also believe people are too quick to give up on a marriage. I think they should make every effort to work on their relationship for themselves. Then if it fails, they at least know they tried and showed their kids they tried hard to make it work.

    • Mispronounced Name Dropper says:

      Don’t have kids with someone you’re merely settling for, it won’t workout. That’s my advice. I had kids with someone I wasn’t really into but I thought that being in a family environment with kids of my own would compensate for it. It didn’t.

    • Lily says:

      I would have much rather dealt with my parents arguing than growing up with them dating new people, re marriages, more divorces, step siblings in and out of my life. People act like divorce is best, but there is a lot of crap that comes with a divorce. Obviously my parents would have liked to have met the perfect person right after their divorce and never had any drama, but they themselves weren’t perfect and that didn’t happen. I have had both of them tell me over the years they should have just stuck with their original marriage. They both now realize they had happiness issues that didn’t come from the other person, like they thought they did, It stinks to not see grandkids as much as you want on holidays bc ex wife and her boyfriend got there first, etc. it never ends.

    • Cam says:

      I don’t think peole should have such antiquated ideas about marriage. Obviously try your best and stick it out but if it’s just not working anymore, you and your kids deserve better than two unhappy people.

  2. QQ says:

    Ben Does Strike me as the type of Passive aggressive A-hole that will sabotage and push and get sloppier and sloppier until the war by attrition is over by forcing the hand of the other person to leave you

    • Abbott says:

      Exactly. That’s what makes him the A$$hole Emperor.

    • mindydopple says:

      He is absolutely that asshole.

    • Liv says:

      Gosh, he comes across as such an asshole. The rumours about his affairs. Then the thing with his ancestors who owned slaves, which he tried to cover up. And now he wants his wife to file for divorce to come out of it as a saint. I don’t like him at all and I hate the fact that he’s Batman.

      • Michelle says:

        Completely agree Liv!!! He is an ass and I hate that he is Batman!

      • Tammy says:

        I agree…I hate that he is Batman!!! I also hate that he always looks so miserable… dude you have nothing to be miserable about. I’d be happy to be married to Jen and have three kids if I was a guy.

    • KellyBee says:

      I agree.

      While I do think Radar if full of BS, this does fit his M.O. It seems like Ben doesn’t like to be the one to end his relationships. He was unhappy with Goop so he cheated on her and she brokeup with him. Same with JLO he was unhappy went on a drinking, gambling binge and cheated on her and she brokeup with him.

      So if this story is true I can see him doing the samething to Jen.

    • PunkyMomma says:

      I think you nailed it. I’m just waiting for him to hook up with JLo again. You know they’re gonna – unfinished business.

      • Liv says:

        I could totally imagine that! Everything that keeps her away from that gold digger…

      • Cam says:

        I just hope she doesn’t do another horrible song about having (reunion) sex with Ben Affleck in her horrible nasal voice if they do get back together.

      • Caz says:

        They might do another movie together!

        I can’t get too involved in Jen & Ben’s issues. They’ve both got family support & extensive $$$ means to cope apart. They’ve been together long enough to know what each other is like, what they are capable of & whether they really want to stay together or be apart.

    • kri says:

      Welcome to my ex-husband. That’s what he tried to do. The Great War of Attrition. But he failed to understand my character. If I’m in a war, I’m coming for you. The look on his face when I told him I was going home to my new apartment and please sign the papers on the kitchen table was priceless. She is better off without him. She just doesn’t know it yet.

    • Shambles says:

      Yup yup yup, and then he gets to be the victim– when we know the only real victims here are the kids for being pawns in this mess, and Jen’s feet for being forced to wear all of her ugly a$$ shoes

    • Izzy says:

      I wonder when he – and his PR people – will realize that no matter who files, he has already lost the battle of public opinion. Most people already think he’s a cheating a-hole who would rather throw away his marriage and family so he can screw around, drink, gamble and smoke. If she does end up filing, the public perception will be “she just couldn’t take any more of his demons.” And you know what they say: perception becomes reality.

      Welcome to PR 101, from the other side of the coin. These publicists strike me as living inside a fantasy bubble if they think this stuff plays well anywhere except on Tumblr, where the nuts live.

    • littlestar says:

      So true QQ. If he wants a f*cking divorce so badly, HE should be the one who files for it. What a coward and what a wimp. I think he’s probably thinking that if he is the one who files first, the tabloids will come at him with a vengeance. If she files first, she is the bad one.

      Ben Affleck is seriously a man-child.

    • TeaAndSympathy says:

      So, QQ, is this why he’s pressuring her to file for a divorce? I don’t know much about these two, so am genuinely curious. If he wants a divorce so badly, why doesn’t he just go ahead and start proceedings? Does he think he’ll come off looking better if she files? I feel so sad for the children. Either way, they are caught in the middle.

  3. Seapharris7 says:

    When I got divorced from my terrible ex, I still wanted to try to save the marriage. Especially for my kid. But someone told me that kids would rather see their parents happy (even if that means by being apart).

  4. Green Is Good says:

    If this story is true, and if Ben is the party that wants out, then sack up and file.

    Editted: if memory serves, Ben did the same passive aggressive crap with Jlo. He ran off to Georgia and Jlo followed him there uninvited. Wasn’t it shortly before they were supposed to get married?

    • Liv says:

      I thought he cheated with a stripper. He blamed her then of course and said he was thankful he got out of it. Seems to be a pattern.

    • Amide says:

      Yup.
      JLo hung in there for life despite all of that.
      But Ben pretty much forced her hand, by bailing on the wedding weeks before.

  5. Embee says:

    Is there anything more pathetic than a spouse passive-aggressively trying to force their spouse’s hand into filing? If you want to divorce then by golly file for it! Jackass!

    I also predict that (1) they will divorce, (2) Ben will drown himself in hookers and booze/drugs for 18 months, (3) Jennifer will emerge like a Phoenix and (4) Ben will profoundly regret his behaviors.

    Not a JG fan (nor Ben) but this seems to be a clear-cut case of a petulant man child growing tired of the family system that holds him together.

    • Aussie girl says:

      Yes to all!!! I think they will split and it will be his doing, as in pushing her to make the call. And I also think she will be fine but I think he is a , ‘ grass is greener on the other side’ type guy & he will party for months and then want back in. Just say NO Jen.

    • Artemis says:

      Yep, he did the same with JLO. They broke up and made up again but right before they broke up completely, they were spending New Year’s at Vegas of all places. Girl looked fed up with him. She ended up breaking things off and alerting the press after trying so hard as she was the one in the end who wanted it more than he did. He also cheated on her with a stripper
      Paltrow also broke it off and even said ‘He’d be better off dating a Scores stripper’ DURING their relationship.

      Even though Affleck defenders try to front like he’s got no issues, the man is a serial cheater, he’s an addict (both gambling and drinking) and he has a penchant of ruining his relationships when he wants out instead of breaking it off himself. His exes were women who were good to him and adored him He’s a complex intelligent man with lots of issues but what is also clear is that he is a very weak man.

      Your predictions are probably spot on going by his past behaviour when things went south in his life. You have spoken the truth…

    • laurabb says:

      You just perfectly described my soon to be ex husband. That is exactly what he did, very cowardly, and now very sorry for the destruction he brought to my children and me.

      I really hope Ben is a better man, for his family’s sake.

    • Red32 says:

      I had a (thankfully former) friend who cheated on her husband and left him for another man, then dragged the divorce out forever because she wanted to file a certain way instead of adultery, which would have been faster. She said “but then it will look like my fault!” Immature people getting a divorce do weird things, especially when they know they’ve screwed up and don’t want to admit it.

    • BenHo says:

      He will blame Jen or his camp would say that Garner is very controlling. He had enough of her controlling ways!

      Maybe Garner just wanted for him to be home once a month so kids can see him or maybe, Garner wants him to do his duty as a dad once in while so if he could come home at a decent hour!
      I bet you they will go for this angle. She is controlling, I can stand it anymore. Waaaaah! Ben is a whiny a-hole! D-bag you are Ben!

      He hates his wife.

      • tracking says:

        I could see him being immature and selfish enough to use the “she’s so controlling” angle. And there’d probably be some truth to it. The combination of perfectionism and dealing with a selfish man-child, not always pretty. She has three children to take care of, she shouldn’t have to coddle him.

  6. Abbott says:

    They’ll wait for a Friday to announce and dump the story, while crossing their fingers for someone to highjack the news. Like, for Taylor Swift to friend-collect Hilary Clinton or for Kit Harington to cut his Jon Snow hair.

  7. Redheadwriter says:

    Love the little onesie on Samuel!

  8. pinkish says:

    Ben seems to spend more time worrying about looking like an a-hole than he spend on actually trying not to BE an a-hole. That makes him an a-hole.

    • GingerCrunch says:

      He’s an actor for chrissakes! He can’t ACT like he enjoys being with his KIDS? Epic a-hole.

    • The Other Katherine says:

      Spot on! Worrying more about your image than about who you actually are — big red flag there.

    • Obsidian says:

      You nailed it! He was never husband-material in the first place.

  9. LAK says:

    Whoever is leaking, JG needs to put a stop to it. It’s making her look bad. Yes, BA is the one said to be behaving badly, but the articles are painting her as a clinging desperate woman.

    The misery of BA’s face is actually good strategy on his part no matter that the information coming out about him.

    It’s the counterpoint to all the bad behaviour coupled with the reinforced message of a wife refusing to let go…..

    • Artemis says:

      Nobody will care about BA though. JG is generally respected. She’s not a ‘trashy’ celebrity with a smutty past, she’s sweet (look at her dimples! ^^) she’s a mom. A ‘real’ mom who is rarely seen made up or handing her kids over to a battalion of nannies. A mom who wears ugly sandals and plain T-shirts. A mom who supports her talented husband by putting her career to the side to carry his 3 equally dimpled children (^^). She’s got her demographic in her mom jeans pocket! She’s as close as they come to ‘being just like us’. JG is GOOD. JG will never look bad when they split up. She has the Ultimate Mom Card. He’s going to have to figure out how to parent when his Wife/Babysitter isn’t around to make his life easier. This is not like the Jlo era when he was both mocked for being with her and ‘celebrated’ because they were both hot and popular. There were no children, just glamour and drama which cheapened his brand. His brand now is serious. It’s love not lust. Wholesome (thanks to her).

      The whole reason why they’re still together is because she’s not willing to give up and I don’t think BA has the cojones to do it himself because he knows his image will be tarnished, irreparably probably. His past will be dug up again (after all, same patterns are emerging for quite a while now) and he will not be able to put a lid on his issues. He’s stupid that way. Like Goop said, he gets in the way of himself.

      Whatever happens, that man cannot divorce that woman, he needs magic to spin it to his advantage. The Academy also begrudgingly awarded his work because of JG I’m sure, she’s also a Political Wife, her work behind-the-scenes cannot be underestimated.

      • Birdix says:

        She makes a lot of money off of her brand as well through all the products she reps, and could well be posturing in order to maintain it. The good devoted wife doesn’t let go easily, or we’ll think we didn’t really know her. If the divorce goes through she needs to be the victim, the one who loved too much and tried to keep it together for the kids, but that’s the only way she’ll have our sympathy and can continue her brand. Remember how her image suffered when she dumped her first husband for Ben (an upgrade)? She won’t make that mistake again.

      • Tammy says:

        @ Birdix she didn’t dump Scott Foley for Ben. She dated her co-star Michael Vartan in between Scott Foley and Ben Affleck.

      • Birdix says:

        good point, and yes you’re right. but she took heat for dumping Foley and picking up with Vartan, and then dumping Vartan and picking up with Affleck. And that was before she had created the powerful persona she has now of the devoted everymom. I don’t mean to suggest it’s not honest–she does seem very devoted to her family. But it’s also money in the bank and will be for some time to come, so I’m sure that at least the people around her are advising her on how to get through this better than her last two breakups. If that means dragging Ben around to the farmer’s market while putting on a brave smile herself, well…

  10. MrsBPitt says:

    He does look miserable in these pictures, but who know what the paps are yelling at him! “Are you and Jen getting a divorce” or something like that, right in front of their kids!

    I will say, a lot of times celeb couples will still play the fake relationship, while secretly hammering out the divorce details, so that when the divorce is anounced, it’s just over… Ten years together in Hollywood is like 30 years in the real world!

    • Jayna says:

      When I found out some of the stuff paps yell at them to get a rise, it actually stunned me. One time there was a few photos of someone miserable, and I thought you don’t have to look that irritated. Then I saw a tape of what the paps were screaming out baiting them, and I was furious. I actually finally understood why some guys have hauled off and attacked the paps.

    • KellyBee says:

      I get what you saying but no one is forcing Ben to go the this farmers market which is a breeding ground for paparazzi multiple times a week. Not to mention Jen is managing to put a smile on her face so why can’t he.

    • PrincessMe says:

      I agree. My husband looks grumpy in traffic, but it doesn’t mean he can’t be arsed to pretend that he enjoys his family – he’s just grumpy in traffic. We live in Jamaica, and when I’m walking in the sun, I look like I could punch someone (yep, even when I’m walking with my kids). He probably just hates the paps and he has nothing to sell, so he’s probably just his normal grumpy around the paps self (which he’s always seemed to be, unless he’s promoting something – which is his right).
      I don’t know if they’re getting a divorce, going through a rough patch or madly in love with each other. But I don’t think pap pics are a good indication of anything.

  11. Snowbunny says:

    Ben always seems disengaged with his family. I can hardly stand to look at these photos with the kids. Maybe I’m being harsh here, but dude you have a great family and a wife that apparently lets you do what you want and you only seem to think of yourself. Blah. I’m grouchy today I guess.

    • Jayna says:

      They may be having troubles or on the way to divorce. I don’t know and he hates the paps even more so right now. For all we know, they are screaming out things in recent photos to bait him.

      Someone saw them at the Georgia Aquarium in Atlanta, when Ben brought the kids to visit Jennifer on set, and said they were a down-to-earth, delightful family, and no bodyguards following them around.

      But you can go online googling images of Ben Affleck and family or Ben Affleck and Kids and there’s tons of Ben being a doting father and enjoying the heck out of his children. Ben hates the paps when he’s out picking his children up or taking them somewhere and always will and shows it. He during promo season might perk up and figure he will use them since they are always there but if he sees them during his daily activities he’s usually not happy. Still, there’s plenty of him with his children where he clearly loves and is involved with his kids. They seem to adore their daddy.

      Ben and Seraphina.

      http://www.celebritybabyscoop.com/files/2013/01/FFN_Garner_Affleck_27MILES_PABLO_GOODWIN_010413_50982615-960×983.jpg

      Ben and Violet

      http://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2012/cbb/blog/121231/ben-affleck-300×400.jpg

      • Snowbunny says:

        Jayna – I’m so glad you posted those links. I was getting really bummed out at all the grumpy ben family shots!

      • KellyBee says:

        Jayna those are also old photos you are posting and lets face it Ben not new to the game and knows how it works if Jen can smile so can he. Not to mention the new law that prevent paparazzi from yelling and screaming crazy things around children.
        .
        To quote my above comment ” no one is forcing Ben to go the this farmers market which is a breeding ground for paparazzi multiple times a week. “Or the restaurant next to the farmers market.

    • Merritt says:

      It is kind of a shame that they don’t seem to be the couple they seemed to be in his ice bucket challenge video. They seemed really together there, but who knows.

  12. MAC says:

    I was hoping that all the bad things I read about this guy and his acting out were not true. Silly me.
    I am glad that at least if it is divorce than they have the finical ability to have the children be ok. Many families do not have this luxury. Especially with 3 kids.

  13. Sayrah says:

    I hope she holds her ground and forced him to file. Of course I hope this isn’t true in the first place but if it is…

  14. perplexed says:

    Why is he trying to get her to file for her divorce rather than doing it herself? I assume there’s a logic to it, but I can’t figure it out on my own. Does he want to look better in the media?

    • MAC says:

      Bingo!

    • Luca76 says:

      Media will roast him alive for leaving his wife. I’m sure they will roast him alive anyway because his sleazy habits are such low-hanging fruit.

    • minx says:

      Because she would be making the first move, not him, although everyone knows the truth.
      I just think these two were always doomed. She got pregnant, they got married. I actually think he gave domesticity a go for awhile and it didn’t work. But then WHY keep having kids? And when it went south, don’t misbehave and act like a jerk–finish it.

      • Nicole says:

        Maybe children are important and wonderful for their own sakes. Maybe they liked the genetic match. Maybe it’s nice to have full siblings. Sheesh.

      • minx says:

        Having kids if your marriage is already rocky–I just think that’s a mistake, not matter how nice their genes are. And nothing wrong with half-siblings.

      • Jag says:

        I think that they’re the couple in the blind item that every time he got ready to leave her, she got pregnant again. He couldn’t leave her with a baby on the way, so he stayed. He allegedly is just waiting for the kids to be old enough before he leaves. (Which could be now.)

  15. Dana m says:

    Wow, he looks so miserable in all these pictures. I get why she wants to stay together for the kids. If both parties are willing to work on their relationship, that’s great. It shows the children about conflict resolution, compromise and that running away doesn’t have to be an option. However, if one of them Does not want to work on the relationship (BA), then they are doomed. Probably best to split because then you teach your kids to stay together with an A$$hole who is not willing to compromise. That would be detrimental for the kids to find normal when they, one day, are involved in their own adult relationships.

  16. Loopy says:

    I remember how Tom Cruise totally blind sided Nicole just before their tenth anniversary, thats cold blooded.

  17. Pumpkin Pie says:

    I am so over this topic.

  18. Elfie says:

    If he wants a divorce he should just file it himself, one person cannot keep another in a marriage. Being married to the wrong person is extremely stressful and too long into a marriage like that can bring out the worst in both parties creating a toxic mix.

    Divorce doesn’t mean you’re a failure or morally less than anyone else, no amount of will can make a miserable marriage happy. Once the love is gone it’s over. If these reports are true, they should just move on to people who will bring out the best in them.

    I do believe that they’re finished because their reps have been silent over these allegations whereas normally they would deny the rumours as untrue.

    • wendi says:

      I do believe that they’re finished because their reps have been silent over these allegations whereas normally they would deny the rumours as untrue.

      +1000. The things that are being written are quite extreme and in the interest of protecting their children, you’d think they would have sued by now if there were no truth to these claims. Seriously, celebs have sued for less than this. It’s one thing to say you’re taking the high road and simply ignoring the tabloid tall tales, but when it affects your kids, you do something. Like most people, my inclination is to take what tabloids say with a grain of salt, but they are saying the same thing over and over again with no denial or legal action from Jen or Ben. That speaks volumes.

      • Mila says:

        celebs dont sue for less. they cant in the USA. they would have to prove its false (how would they do that? you cant prove your marriage is fine) and then prove that they had financial losses because of that. to make it clear: THEY have to prove it, not the papers making the claims, for whatever reason. its impossible to win such a case thats why celebs never sue in the USA. they sometimes sue in France and Germany because those countries protect people from lies in the media.

  19. Zigggy says:

    I always thought US Weekly was a tabloid too…?

    • RobN says:

      Not that I don’t think they’re right on this one, but all of a sudden US is getting treated like it’s the New York Times?

    • KellyBee says:

      They are and they make uo BS stories all the time but they also sometime get stories from celebrity PR people or some celebrities will sell baby or wedding photos to them.

    • Merritt says:

      It is, and it has been pretty bad lately.

    • Mila says:

      they are, they got a boost in credibility after they caught Kristen Stewart cheating. just like Intouch is normally absolutely the bottom of rags but they got a scoop on that christian family.

  20. RobN says:

    Those kids used to always look bouncey and happy, regardless of who was taking their picture. They sure don’t look that way, now. Mom and Dad need to figure this out and stop dragging them out on pap strolls designed to make Daddy look like less of an a-hole. It’s not working and those kids look miserable.

  21. JenniferJustice says:

    I hope she does file and is loud and clear that it’s becuase he begged her to so he wouldn’t look like the bad guy. Do it girl! Get it over with because it’s already over. No way would I stay with a man who made me feel like he didn’t want me. It’s just a matter of time before some stripper/escort purposely gets pregnant by this douche. Jen needs to get out and protect her share before it’s too late.

  22. Whatever Gurl says:

    He is definitely acting out.

    Remember earlier this year at some awards show (Oscars maybe), Ben walked up to JLo and whispered something in her ear and she giggled and slapped him on the arm.

    He knew eyes were on him. He is begging to get out.

  23. s says:

    Folks are ragging on Jennifer for her lack of style but Ben-bro is 20 times worse when it comes to clothes. Sweatpants! In public! Gross. At least she looks like a busy mom who did not have time to assemble an outfit. He’s looking like he fell asleep on the bathroom floor and now is nursing a hangover.

  24. Anaya says:

    First let me start off by saying that Ben is a first class A##hole!! I can’t stand passive aggressive behavior like his. Sadly I believe the divorce rumors are in fact true this time.

    Look, the best way for them to handle their split without either looking bad in the court of public opinion is to announce a joint separation the Friday before their 10th wedding anniversary. Give People Magazine an official separation statement that’s short, polite toward both sides, yet stating that their separation is amicable and saying that they did all they could do to repair their marriage but in the end it’s irretrievably broken. End it in saying that “we remain committed to our children’s well being”….et cetera.

    Whatever is printed in the media about why they’re splitting up is irrelevant as long as Ben and Jennifer don’t publicly sling mud at each other. The media will be the media regardless.

    A few months later both BA and JG quietly file for a divorce at the same time, same day. This way Jennifer puts an end to her suffering of being a wife to this jerk and Ben gets his out. Jennifer can begin focus on caring for her children post divorce which I’m sure will be very tough especially for Violet. After a while she return to acting and supporting projects she feels passionately about. Ben can go back doing whatever, or whoever, it is he is doing.

  25. Just G says:

    How come she’s always carrying EVERYTHING and he walks around like the extra kid?

  26. Fan says:

    Maybe she should let him go but do not divorce him because she is just prolonging her agony. Give him the freedom to fool around with whoever. Have faith in God, bring your children well. Do not revenge. Live morally. Go to church often and watch miracle will happen. Advice to Jennifer.

  27. The Original Mia says:

    Ben and his passive aggressive ways may have just met his match. She’s put up with his cheating, drinking, and gambling for a long time. I’ve no doubt she’s concerned about her kids, but I also think she’s sick and tired of fixing his image. If he wants out, then he’s going to have to be the one to do it himself and face the consequences of his actions.

  28. Velvet Elvis says:

    I think that down the road, Ben will look at his life and seriously regret this. Not only will he have broken up his family, some other dude will one day be hanging out with his kids and he will find that no other woman will put up with his shit like Jennifer did.

    • Christin says:

      Sometimes the grass looks greener elsewhere, until you get to it and find out all the, um, ‘fertilizer’ that goes with it.

    • lisa2 says:

      But you know what.. some men don’t look back and think they made a mistake. Some men look back and say; Damn I should have done it sooner. And sadly for some men the grass is always greener and when it is not they keep moving on.. happy as a clam.

    • Angie T says:

      I can definitely see this I think Jennifer is a catch and she’ll be able to find a new mate if she wants one. Ben will regret it when he sees his life taken over by another man.

    • Luca76 says:

      I really doubt he’ll regret it if/when they divorce. I know she is super relatable to a lot of women but she’s no saint. She’s an enabler that’s not really helping him it’s just preventing him from seeing how bad things really are. As long as she cleans up his messes he’ll keep making bigger ones for her to clean up.
      My feeling has always been that this would end spectacularly and Ben will sober up and remarry someone ridiculously younger and have more kids I am not sure this is actually the end but I do think it’s coming.

      • BenHo says:

        Yes, and unfortunately for Garner, the second wife will be treated like a Queen! This is a possibility but really sad for Garner. But you know what? Karma is b!tch.

  29. Susan says:

    Okay….I hate myself as I type this…I don’t think there is a “one size fits all” approach to divorce/children/staying together vs leaving etc….everyone’s situation is different. It does kind of make me appreciate GOOP and her crazy ass “conscious uncoupling” stuff. Is it fancy words and ridiculous pretention? Absolutely. But maybe beneath the fluff it is two people trying to make the best of a bad situation.
    –yes I’m ducking for cover, prepared for some cyber hate. I already hate myself for typing that for what it’s worth. Lol.

    • minx says:

      No, I get what you are saying. I don’t like Goopy so I was happy she got roasted for that pretentious phrase, but it sounds like they are having a civilized post-marital relationship.
      I don’t know about these two, though–if they are capable of the same thing. They seem like they play games with each other–him with his bad behavior and her with her Farmer’s Market strolls with the kids. He wants out, she wants to hold onto him no matter what, it seems.

  30. Hotpockets says:

    I think if they’re not happy and the marriage is not working, then they should divorce. Staying together for the kids does not work for anybody involved. Kids know what is going on and although it is difficult to separate at first, it’s best for the family.

    I always think of my husband when it comes to situations like this, because his parents had a horrible and nasty divorce, but before they divorced, they had a long suffering marriage. He told me that as a child he would pray everyday for them to divorce, both him and his sister, because they were so toxic together. That’s how bad the marriage was. Children don’t want to be byproducts of a toxic marriage if there is that much fighting and tension involved. Staying together for the kids does no one any favors.

    • anon33 says:

      And it messes up the kids. My sister and I both first got entangled in emtionally abusive relationships because that’s what we saw at home.

      • Hotpockets says:

        I agree. My sister in law cannot have normal relationships with the opposite sex and refuses to ever get married or have children because of her parent’s marriage.

  31. Comity says:

    Good Lord, they do a lot of shopping.

    • lisa2 says:

      hahaha.. I said that too.. maybe Ben has some gambling/ drinking issues.. but I swear Jennifer loves to shop. I mean she out every single day it seem. I get once in a while but everyday. Maybe she is a spender. Maybe that is an issue with them too.

  32. lisa2 says:

    I don’t know of any of this is true..

    I do agree with Sherry upthread about people fighting for their marriage before they throw in the towel. The thing is both people in the situation need to be on the same page and they both have to want the relationship. You can’t fight for a marriage alone. If the other person doesn’t want it then you are in fact fighting alone. The truth is you don’t have to stay in a marriage to be a good parent. Divorce is not a perfect thing; but for some it is the right decision. No it is not the ideal for children; but I think children deserve to be in a home where parents love them and each other. Where they see what a relationship should be or look like. Seeing parents distant and not loving is not a good example for children. We have seen couples divorcing after having children or even when the wife is pregnant. So children to me shouldn’t be the glue holding the marriage together. The marriage should be the glue holding the family together in a sense.

    I’m a bit surprised that this story is still going strong. Usually the rags do these stories and drop it. But I think maybe trolling tabloid people are reading blogs and such seeing the comments and seeing that people are interested so the story continues.

    I hope they do what is ultimately best for them and their children. Sometimes the decision can work out even if it is divorce.

  33. Suzanne says:

    I think HIS expression says it all. TRAPPED. MISERABLE. VOID OF EMOTION. ABSENT.

    • buzz says:

      He thinks he should be married to Blake Lively.

      • tracking says:

        I think he would have become equally bored with her June Cleaver bit. His type seems more the much younger Victorias Secret-sexual omnivore type.

      • Angie T says:

        @tracking I think he would eventually be bored with the much younger Victoria Secret-sexual omnivore type too. I don’t think Ben’s problem is that he isn’t compatible with Jen. It’s him. He’s a “grass is always greener” type guy.
        Honestly I think that dynamic plays out in alot of divorces.

      • tracking says:

        Angie T, I agree about his temperament and it’s true he’ll probably always be looking for the next adrenaline high. But I suspect the boredom sets in more quickly with a perfectionistic frumpy “mom” type. Plenty of guys would be thrilled to be with a nice, pretty, classy wife. She should find one of them.

  34. All this gossip..not one photo! In my own past, there was suspicion, even knowledge, but I wanted proof! Hired a PI. Now until we have receipts on Ben, shut up.

  35. JenniferJustice says:

    The blinds have been talking about this for weeks. The original blind on Blind Gossip talked about not only infidelity and alchohol, but also drugs, abuse, and neglect. The blind said they’re both slinging mud at eachother behind closed doors and with their attorneys – just not publicly slinging mud. I can’t be entertained by this with jokes about popcorn like other messy break-ups because of the kids’ involvement, but I definitely think this split is not going to be amicable or cut and dry.

    I want Jennifer to leave him and stop trying to hang on to something already gone – if it was ever there in the first place. I sympathesize with any mother grasping at straws to save her family, but for the life of me, why in the Hell did she aggressively chase this dork just to be treated like she’s nothing special and then bring not one, not two, but three children into it? Why do some people want to be with someone who doesn’t appreciate them, literally cannot commit and self-sabotage when they try? What is the motivation? Is it ego?

    • lisa2 says:

      @JenJus
      Why do some people want to be with someone who doesn’t appreciate them, literally cannot commit and self-sabotage when they try? What is the motivation? Is it ego?
      ^^^^^^^^^^^

      my answer: They love the other person more than they love themselves.

    • Amide says:

      I don’t get it either.
      Its like Elin Nordogren choosing to stay with Tiger afterall the humilation and soul sapping stories over the years.
      I really don’t get it. No way would I want to be with a person who patently does not want to be with me, and who has so little respect for me.

    • sills says:

      Totally agree with this, she chased him hard back then, like he was some massive prize. I think she was in love with the image of him more than him. I remember in an interview years back she said something like, “you know how as a girl you imagine one day some big, hunky man holding your baby? Well that’s Ben, times a thousand.”

      And yes, even though it’s high heresy around here to say it, I do think she got pregnant without him being 100% onboard at first. Not that she “trapped” him with a baby he didn’t want at all, but that she forced the issue (“whoops, guess what!”) when he wasn’t necessarily ready yet to commit at that level. He went ahead and built a life with her, but I don’t think he was ever as crazy-in-love as she was. Maybe it was destined to break down at some point.

  36. JoJo says:

    And SOME marriages were never meant to be in the first place. Sad but true and very common. I’m not doubting that they feel/felt real love for each other, but they got married very quickly at a time when Jen was already pregnant and Ben’s life was in a shambles. I don’t understand this idea that he owes her something because of that. That’s weird to me. They have three kids, yes, but these two have NEVER, ever seemed like a fit. Sometimes opposites are not the best match. They have seemed bored with each other – well, mainly him with her – since the very beginning. This doesn’t seem like a result of the honeymoon phase being over – it seems more like they were never a good match. Should they have gone on and had three kids if that was the case? Maybe not, but tons of people do the same thing, famous or not. It’s called getting complacent! Welcome to the human race. Complacency is the reason everyone on the planet simply goes along with the life that’s happening “to” them. It’s not shocking at all – it’s what lots of people do. I don’t know if the US story is reliable, but it definitley echoes what I’ve thought from the beginning – Jen will do anything in her power to stay with Ben, regardless of what’s going on. I mean – try to think of a single time in the last 5+ years that they’ve even been on vacation together as a couple. Yes, they have kids, but you mean to tell me they can’t even take a few long weekends once In a blue moon? It just has always seemed like they have nothing in common at all besides the kids, and I personally don’t think they need to “make it work” if it’s not the best thing for everyone. It will be sad, but their kids will be totally fine- he clearly loves them a lot, and it seems like he’d make a strong effort to stay in their lives. People make mistakes – they enter marriages, they have kids, sometimes they don’t work out. It happens. This doesn’t need to be a Ben Affleck is the devil story.

  37. Amy M. says:

    Ugh can’t say I’m surprised. We all know Jennifer will bounce back and find someone again. She is a serial monogamist and some of her relationships seem to have had overlaps. I hope she finds someone who enjoys farmer’s markets and loves her kids, someone family oriented. Maybe she should date someone who runs a farmer’s market stand! That would be the ideal situation.

    As for Ben, he has a lot of issues he needs to deal with that he seems to be in denial of. Always sabotaging his own relationships when he has something good.

    And yeah staying together for the kids is just not the thing to do but plenty of couples do it. Just because a couple has been together forever does not mean they have a healthy relationship or successful marriage. My friend’s parents sat her down when she was young to announce their divorce but never ended up doing it due to money. My friend had a very strained relationship with her father for years. She is married and has a kid now and closer to her dad (who tragically recently had a stroke). But her parents still look miserable together and just off. No warmth or fondness there.

  38. Susan says:

    The ten year mark is only relevant in California if you don’t have a prenup (or, I guess theoretically if you intentionally put a 10 year bonus in the prenup). I would strongly doubt these two don’t have a prenup. So I wouldn’t necessarily assume the next 11 days are critical to the decision making. I’m sure an announcement is coming very soon based on how they are acting but I wouldn’t believe that Ben would leave it with days to spare if there was a deadline looming.

    • tracking says:

      I doubt they have a prenup–he only became phenomenally successful in the last five years. His career was on a downslide and she was hot off her Alias fame when they married. Their wealth was probably on par. She doesn’t seem like the type to want one, and he probably didn’t feel he had much to protect at that point. It is an interesting question though.

    • laura in LA says:

      Much has been made of the 10-yr mark in California, but as RobN pointed out on another JG/BA thread yesterday, it’s mostly myth…

      It’s not so cut-and-dry as people think, especially true with celebrity divorces when they can lawyer up, and a lot depends on the judge in the case. As I understand it, it’s more about fair division of earnings and assets acquired during the marriage and whether or not to grant ongoing support as needed.

      California is also a no-fault state, unlike New York, I believe, which is why “irreconcilable differences” is the reason usually given here.

  39. Isabelle says:

    She may be staying with him because she is afraid he’ll do something really stupid or she knows he’s acting out & will regret it later. However, he’s a little brat trying to escape from his marriage. Can’t turn a douche bro into a house-husband. Leave him in his debauchery he’ll bottom out soon enough.

  40. Sara says:

    Ben seems like a selfish person. He has 3 kids and is hardly around? Hollywood people are weird. It’s like you could be homewith your kids and you choose not to be. Let’s face it neither of them would ever have to work another day in their life. And yet he continue s to take project after project while his children grow up without him. Very sad indeed. When he finally grows up and matures and gets sober somedayhe will look back and wonder wtf was I thinking. Classic

  41. JoJo says:

    I just don’t undersrand this mantra everyone keeps repeating about ben not “knowing what’s good for him”. It’s all very 1950s. You shall remain in your marriage whether happy or not – dammit – and be a good little husband and wife.

  42. Catelina says:

    I’ll say it again, he’s not going anywhere for a few more years. His career is too important to him right now and especially as he’s gearing up to direct his next movie, this partnership, whatever it’s issues and I’m sure there are many, is intact. These stories have been coming out for years and yet here they are doing pap strolls together.

  43. shannon says:

    I split from the father of my son before he was even old enough to remember us together, but he STILL wishes we would have stayed together. So, speaking from my experience, the kids would rather have you together than not. But, I will say I would not exchange my health for my child’s wishes. If Ben does have a penchant for fooling around, then he has a penchant for disease. NOT worth it.

  44. Angie T says:

    Remember a few months ago when she started crying on The Today Show? :( It makes me think she knew it was close to over at that point. So sad.

  45. Frosty says:

    So, to recap: Ben wants a divorce so very much, but he wants Jen to file because good guy image (lol). But since she refuses to play the heavy when she’s not, Ben is confused and hurting. Oh, ok. Got it!

    Ben’s people are working hard to make him look good here, but he needs to man up and file for divorce. He just seems like an unhappy person, and nothing will alleviate that heaviness of his for long. She’s better off without him.

  46. serena says:

    Anyway you look at it he’s gonna look like an assh*le.

  47. funcakes says:

    I really hate people who have a gaggle of kids especially when one has a history of unstable behaviors and vices without thinking in the long run “Do really want to bring a life into this world knowing the reckless history of my husband/wife?”

  48. The Original G says:

    He’s a gambling addict. Maybe she just got tired of looking the other way while he was away from home blowing all their money?

    • Jayna says:

      He’s not an addict, I don’t think. Even that poker woman who spilled the beans on celebs said Ben is a very smart player and sets limits on what he will bet that night. When she talked about all the celebs that came to game nights, Ben wasn’t anyone that she outed as a bad player or who blew money trying to be a big shot like Tobey Maguire. And he wins. I didn’t realize everyone who loves to play poker is an addict.

      What he is , is he has a drinking problem, I think, or at the least, it seems to be escalating. When I noticed him drinking again a couple of years ago, I thought maybe he truly was just hooked on vicodin before back in earlier days when he went to rehab and maybe thought he could ease back in to drinking and handle it as someone more mature. But it doesn’t appear that’s true. It seems like he’s looking drunk more and more out at awards shows.

      • Dee Kay says:

        I believe this. Maybe Affleck has a combination of vices that he can control and ones that he can’t. Some people know they drive really fast but also try to be excellent (not reckless) drivers. Maybe he’s like that with gambling. But he may think he’s got ALL of his vices “under control” — including booze and women — and he may be wrong about some of them.

      • Cam says:

        That’s the Poker Princess book where she talked about Tobey Maguire being a douche and telling her to bark like a seal for a chip, and how Pam Anderson’s bogan hubby asked Affleck about JLo’s a$$.

      • The Original G says:

        He’s totally an addict. Casinos are meticulous about the privacy of celebrities and high rollers. Meticulous. The fact that he has been outed publicly by several of them for card counting shows that he’s considered a huge liability by them. It’s the last resort of an industry that would try to work with problem guests some other way.

  49. JenniferJustice says:

    I dont’ think unhappy couples should stay together for the sake of staying together. A lot of kids from divorced parents do just fine. I also don’t think Ben is the devil, but I do think he’s inheritantly selfish and cowardly. You don’t end a relationship by cheating, hurting, humiliating in the hopes they break off with you. Not being the one to actually break it off doesn’t make him come out smelling like roses by any means. It’s simply a passive aggressive approach which to me, is cowardly, horribly hurtful, and unneccessary. So, he may not be the devil but his definitely not a good person which only leaves – bad person. Even in the spectrum of all the inbetweens, people like him fall at the end of the spectrum for me = bad person. Who has he ever had a relationship with that he didn’t intentionally hurt for his own gain? Weird gain, but his gain none-the-less in that he frees himself while attempting to avoid the bad guy label at any means. Devil no, but total douche yes!

    I also don’t think he owed her anything in the beginning when she got pregnant. It took two and she knew exactly what she was doing – possibly even planned, BUT he took an oath, purposely grew his family with more children and still whined and pined for single life. Ugghh. All people like him want is whatever they cannot have. The grass is always greener, so it’s continual simpering and woe is me. Not masculine. All I get from him is cry baby mf.

    • JoJo says:

      @jenniferjustice All good points. My only issue is that there really has never truly been any proof of him cheating on Jen. Lots of rumors and pictures of flirting, but never a single shred of proof, which seems strange. So, I’m not going to sit here from afar and claim to know what’s actually going on in three marriage. Yes, Ben outwardly appears to have some bug vices, but we really don’t know the facts. And I’m sure Jen has her own, more passive-aggressive issues, whcih can also be insidious and damaging in their own ways. All I am going on is the fact that from all outward appearances, this couple has never, ever seemed happy or like they’re a good fit, so none of this surprises me. I’m not basing any of this on his supposed addictions. She wAs well aware of them from the beginning and seemed hell-bent on changing them, which is always an uphill battle. I really don’t place blame on either of them – they just don’t seem like a fit. Mistakes happen – people stay together and have kids even when they’re not that happy! Probably because they’re human and flawed – it’s pretty common. I see it all around my family and friends – why are Ben and Jen any different? So, I just really don’t blame eithet of them alone – it always takes two. Whatever happens, I’m sure they’ll put priority pn their kids.

  50. buzz says:

    he looks like hell

  51. buzz says:

    Everyone knew it was over when he made those awful, revealing remarks about her during that awards show speech.

  52. db says:

    Ben Affleck has always looked like such a sad sack to me, never understood his appeal.

  53. Katrina says:

    Ben Affleck is a loser to me. So selfish of him to have kids (3 of them!) when he knew he was never going to be into family life.

    • StellaBraun says:

      Yep, this. He’s a player, always has been and always will be.. He knows this, why breed? He was probably thinking of his box office likability. Easier to sell a family man actor, compared to eternal bachelor.

  54. Patty says:

    I think a lot of posters staying they should stay together for the kids are forgetting one big important thing. In order for any relationship or marriage to work, both parties have to be on the same page and both parties have to want it to work out and make an effort to make it work.

    In an unbalanced situation where one party is checked out and has no interest in making it work; things are over. If Ben is too passive aggressive to file for a divorce and is trying to force Jennifer’s hand than she really has two options: divorce him or stay with him out of spite. I would hate to see her do the latter, as there are few things worse than seeing someone stay in relationship with someone who clearly doesn’t want to be with them and who will more than likely eventually work up the nerve to exit at some point anyway.

  55. missworld says:

    Poor Jen…I have been in a relationship where the other party doesn’t have the balls to end things, and just makes life miserable hoping the other person will do the dirty work and end it all.

  56. Brincalhona says:

    It’s not the structure of a family that matters but how it functions. What model of an acceptable way to treat a partner are they showing their children?

  57. Camille (The Original) says:

    I’m amazed they’ve lasted as long as they have, I guess their ‘band aid baby’ didn’t help as much as JG thought it might. It always struck me as funny how fast their relationship got going, like weren’t there rumors of them dating and then next minute she was pregnant with his kid?

  58. FWIW says:

    Ben will never be happy with any woman. He seems to love the chase and then gets bored. I feel for the kids and Ben will regret causing all this hurt to his family. Hang in there for the 10th year mark, Jen! Take everything you are entitled because you deserve it after putting up with this selfish jerk. He will never grow up,

    • Angie T says:

      YES! I just posted something similar above. My bet is that he’s not going to be happy with anyone. For a little while, sure – but then he’ll get bored.

      She seems more like a grown up. She understands that times will get hard. You’ll fall in and out of love. If you have a family you should think twice before throwing it all away. If he’s abusive? That’s a whole other story of course.

      • Kelsey says:

        Heard he could be verbally abusive to Jen and could be true just watch what happened when he was a guest on Bill Maher show.

    • StellaBraun says:

      Exactly! He got bored of JLo, the ultimate sex object! He’s a typical guy, just wants to go bang 20 yr old groupies.. He’ll then get bored of that after a year or so, and do it all over again with Jen garner part 2. Men are so predictable its boring!

    • jwoolman says:

      Judging from the Radar report, if true, it doesn’t sound as though they’re at an unfixable point. It sounds as though they’ve had rough times before and dealt with it by informal separation. Ben does seem to have real problems that have nothing to do with Jen and will not go away with divorce. A formal divorce will just make things stickier for his kids at this point. It makes no sense to force her to file for divorce when she doesn’t want one. If he’s that sure, he needs to file himself. My bet is that he isn’t that sure. Ben needs to work on Ben before he can work on his marriage or his divorce.

  59. Mispronounced Name Dropper says:

    I have a lot of empathy for Ben. It’s tough being with someone you don’t want to be with but on the other hand you don’t want to be separated from your kids. I hung in there with someone I couldn’t stand because I couldn’t bear the idea of not seeing my kids everyday and eventually she ended it because it needed to happen but I wasn’t going to do it. I hate not seeing my kids everyday but I’m so relieved to be out of that living hell of a relationship.

  60. Snowpea says:

    Some men are dazzled by the perceived glamour and sexiness of the hooker and the stripper, not realising that these women go home, take off the crotchless knickers and clear stripper heels and put on their comfy pajamas like every other woman.

    I had a boyfriend that wanted me to be in stripper mode constantly and because I was young and clueless I complied.

    French nails, la perla lingerie, hair extensions, brazilians, tight clothing blah blah. It was exhausting.

    These fools can’t cope with women just looking ordinary. Having said that, Jen strikes me as being an exhausting woman herself , in that she seems exhaustingly hung up on having the perfect family.

    They seem massively incompatible.

  61. BenHo says:

    Ben was sighted today at Charleston, West Virginia. This is Jennifer Garner’s hometown. Her parent still live there and most of the folks there are protective of her.

  62. Cam says:

    Did they really get married because Jennifer got pregnant? I can’t remember this story.

  63. Ruyana says:

    Staying married “for the sake of the children” is a big mistake. I’m elderly now, but I can still remember the white-knuckle tension of living in a house where my parents despised each other. I was so relieved (scared too, but mostly relieved) when they finally divorced. Kids may not know the details, but they have extraordinary radar and sense the emotional climate of the home far more than anyone credits them.

  64. Jets says:

    Ben Affleck is not trying to save his marriage, he’s trying to save face. ETonline had some “Exclusive” late yesterday, quoting some source saying that “they are fine, and a split is not imminent, they are looking forward to spending time as a family this summer” some PR BS. This is how it’s going to play out, and remember you heard it hear first, they will probably spend a week maybe two “on vacation” away from the prying eyes to try to “work things out” the details of which will be conveniently leaked to People, we might even get a shot of them from a paparazzi that just “happened to be there”. Time will go by, no new news, then one Friday afternoon in Oct/Nov they’ll catch everyone by surprise and announce they’re separating,” they tried to make it work but they realize they are better off apart and will continue to co-parent their three beautiful children”. Then it’s over and done for good. Ben will finally get his freedom back but at least it looks like he tried by actually spending time with this family. Jen will be ok, she’s been through a divorce before, yeah it sucks that you will have twice-divorced in front of your name, but you will finally be at peace and will be better off when you find someone else that will really love you and appreciate you, respect you and be a good step father to your kids. Ben will be going from one model to the next and partying with Leo and Bradley Cooper, drinking, gambling, hooking up with young co-stars, extras, randoms, working non stop, living the life he’s always wanted.

    • Cam says:

      Very good analysis of what the heck is going on with these “leaks.” I think it’s all PR and it’s actually all settled BTS.

    • Kelsey says:

      But by then, he is expected to shape up because he will be promoting for the movie The Accountant, a January release, and Batman, a March release. Even before these two movies, he is scheduled to start directing Live By Night in November. This was pushed back. It was supposed to start production this summer.

      Jennifer will also be promoting two movies by then. Miracle from Heaven in March and Nine Lives in April. She is going to be busy filming these movies till Fall.

      If they want to divorce, timing wise, this summer is good. The kids are off school and can adjust and can be protected.

      Come Batman time, Ben will be seen walking on the red carpet with his new girlfriend. His allegedly current side piece according to rumors

    • Dame Heddy says:

      Ben Affleck was supposed to start shooting Live by Night on first of July. Now the filming start date quietly pushed to 2nd of November. I doubt sudden change of schedule is not unrelated to his personal situation. Good for him and his family if he can find time to spend with his family.

  65. StellaBraun says:

    I can vividly recall, hiding under the dining room table as my parents would have death-match style screaming matches when I was 5. (I’m 35 now). They divorced when I was 6. My father remarried a gold digger, who amazingly cared more for me than he did, and my mother would lock me in my bedroom so she could entertain boyfriend after boyfriend each night. So yeah, I’d take the screaming matches and unhappy marriage any day to the alternative I went through. When you make the conscious decision to bring children into your self-made hurricane, the children are the priority and your “tough times” take a back seat. That’s what being a good parent is!

    • Patty says:

      That is unfortunate, but it doesn’t have to be that way. There are more and better choices than have parents stay together and be miserable or have parents split and still be miserable. I highly doubt The Affleck children, should their parents actually split will have to worry about mommy locking them in their bedroom at night to entertain her boyfriends. If anything, the split will probably be more like Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillipe; who seem to have successfully managed to co-parent and probably be better parents being apart then they ever could have staying together.

  66. Dippit says:

    I know this is a bit cod psychology and based on a lot of clichés but, if the marriage is in that much trouble – Ben’s wandering eye for younger & hotter etc – wouldn’t it be likely we’d have seen more of Jen changing her appearance recently.

    Bear with me, as I’m not advocating for a makeover to keep your man as a given for all or any self-respecting woman, but it is all too often typical at final throw of the dice time.

    Jen’s fairly pedestrian look and styling (and shoes) is often commented on. And hasn’t altered at all in what are being rumoured as desperate times. I just think if behind closed doors is that dire there might have been more outward changes obvious from her.

    Like I said, maybe a bit too cliché based but still.

  67. NEWBIE says:

    I’m in the if you’re unhappy you should divorce boat.

    My parents never divorced and they were miserable. Believe me when I say kids know when their parents are unhappy in their marriage and to be 100% honest witnessing my parents marriage made me not want to commit and get married. For a long time during my teenage years (when things between them were the worst) I became disinterested in men and love. In my head what is the point of love if it was to get married to a person I can never leave and be in this miserable painful situation. I really wished my mom left my dad and met someone that truly made her happy so she could feel what love is. My mom passed away still being married to my dad. Just because you stay married during the tough times doesn’t mean it was a great or even loving marriage. Life is way TOOOOOOO short.

  68. familar says:

    This would be Jen’s 2nd divorce. I forgot that she was previously married for 4 years. Understandable that she might be reluctant.

  69. Leo says:

    We Leos can be aholes like that. Even tho we are the ones wanting out, we prefer that the other party finalize it. I feel for their kiddos