I think Stacy Keibler is pretty happy with her post-George Clooney life, don’t you? As time goes on and we find out more about George and Amal’s relationship, it definitely seems like both George and Stacy moved on from each other within days/weeks of splitting for good. Stacy ended up with her now-husband Jared Pobre, and Stacy gave birth to their first child, Ava, last year. Stacy was pretty judgy about pregnancy too – she talked a lot about her all-organic pregnancy and how pregnancy isn’t an excuse to eat donuts, of course. And now Stacy is chatting about birth plans and why she wanted to have an all-natural home birth with Ava.
Stacy talked about all of this with Ricki Lake, who does the documentary series The Business of Being Born. Lake has become something of a “natural birth” advocate for pregnant women, and she really does encourage women to do home births rather than hospital births. Stacy told Lake that her whole perspective on birth changed after seeing The Business of Being Born – I’m including the clip below. Apparently, Ava was late (which is normal for a first child especially) and then Stacy had a 19-hour labor… at home. With no meds. Stacy tells Lake that she “felt like we went to war together…I kept saying, like, ‘Ava’s a warrior. I’m a warrior…’ Then when she came out, I feel like we had this bond that we fought together.”
Stacy also wrote a blog post about her birthing experience – here’s part of the essay:
After watching this insightful film, we wanted to educate ourselves as much as we could and raise awareness on this controversial topic. When I was pregnant, I did concurrent care with both my OB-gyn and midwife because I wanted to compare the journey. I concluded that there was no doubt that I wanted to have a home birth with no medication. My husband and family totally agreed. I was so grateful to be able to experience labor in this way, in the comfort of my own home. It was calming, private and uninterrupted, which made for an incredible bonding experience for all three of us. It was by far the best decision I could have made.
It’s tough to make a choice for so many reasons, but ultimately, any mom-to-be needs to listen to her own heart and do what she thinks is best for her family. Educating yourself will help guide you in the direction that feels right. If you are pregnant for the first or the fifth time, it is never too late to change your mind on how you would like to experience your little miracle coming into this world.
I’ve said before, I don’t have a dog in this hunt. The idea of childbirth is terrifying to me and I’m exactly the kind of woman who would still ask my doctor for that “twilight sleep” drug that was popular in the 1950s if I was ever pregnant. Like, I wouldn’t even need to be conscious. It’s cool, I’ll meet the baby when I wake up. It does sometimes feel – and I know the mommy flame war is coming – that this is an extension of competitive mothering, like competitive childbirth. Who can have the most natural birth? Who can have the most chill home birth experience? Like if you choose to give birth in a hospital, you’ve already lost The Mommy Wars. That being said, at least Stacy makes allowances for every woman making her own birthing choice, and not every woman (*raises hand*) would have the stones to do a 19 hour labor at home with no drugs. And that’s fine. How women give birth doesn’t affect anything other than the horror stories you ladies tell each other.
Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.
I forgot she was pregnant. I guess she was drowned out by the George/Amal tsunami.
omg love the baby smiling pic> sorry, keyboard gone wild
My rural living grandmothers and mothers before them did the same thing. And they didn’t spend the rest of their lives bragging about it.
All this home birthing, organic living stuff — generations before us already did that. Yet these celebrities act like they discovered something brand spanking new!
Women in the past had 15 kids without pills, so please, let’s all stop.
And plenty of babies and mothers died in the process. So let’s not stop.
My grandmother had 5 kids at home in Mexico, no drugs, but 2 died – one during birth and one immediately after. Agree with Tracy.
@Tracy, I think Mia V. just meant let’s all (of these celebrities, like Stacy Kiebler) stop with making a big deal about all-natural home births being this trend women should now be shamed into aspiring to. (Although Stacy did encourage women to educate themselves and make the decision that is right for them.)
I don’t think she meant let’s all stop with going to the hospital for medical care as appropriate during birth.
Home birthing and organic living does not necessarily fall in the same category in my book. Organic living is kind of a no brainer where I’m from. Why not eat clean if you can (and can afford it – an important indicator of who orcanic living is available to), but home birthing is definitely not for me. I need a hospital, a doctor, you know modern science that historically helped the ones giving birth survive 🙂 Better safe than sorry. That said; home birth can probably be relaxing and harmonic if you are a super effective birther.
I would equate it more with the anti-vaccine movement. Because hospitals and medicine have reduced the scary outcomes of childbirth, we have forgotten how dangerous childbirth can be. Just like, because we don’t see the effects of polio and measles because they (had been) wiped out by vaccinations, so we forget how important vaccines are. However, I don’t get as worked up by home birth (aside from choosing to have both of my babies in a hospital with lots of drugs :)) because home birthers are just risking themselves and their families, not mine.
Home birth is not like the anti vax movement, though there is obviously overlap in the populations. The home birth movement came about in response to the high rate of medically unnecessary C sections – many of which are pushed by medical professionals themselves. C sections and hospitals carry significant risks of their own (the normal risks with each procedure, the very real risk of error, not to mention the fact that hospitals are crawling with germs) and it’s important that we change the conversation around pregnancy and childbirth. I’m not saying that home births are the answer, but this movement comes from a very legitimate health concern.
Thank you, Bridget. I had a C-section with my first a couple years ago, and my current doctor told me that basically there was no medical reason for it. I switched doctors because my previous one made me feel like I had no choice, even though I’d planned to have a natural birth. I found out later that something like 95% of the time, this doctor did C-sections.
If I get pregnant again, I hope to have a home birth with a qualified doula/midwife. If something is off, there’s a hospital nearby. But if I can give birth in a low-stress environment (better for me AND the baby) with low risk of infection…why not?
My first child was born in the hospital, though I very much wanted a home birth. However, being my first child and not knowing anyone who had done it, I went ahead with the traditional route of doctor and hospital birth. They started giving me pitocin because my contractions didn’t start when they thought it should and after 15 hours, I asked for an epidural because that drug made me have one continuous contraction that never stopped. When it came time to push, the doctor came in to check on me (not the one I had been seeing for the past 7 months) and told the nurse that the baby “is on the wrong side … if it doesn’t move closer to the center in the next 30 minutes, we’ll have to do a C-Section.” He left and I asked the nurse which side I needed to lay on to get the baby to move and for 30 minutes I pushed and prayed on my side. He came back and the baby had moved. My parents were in the waiting room and said EVERY other person in the waiting room was being told, “She’s having a C-Section.” They expected me to have one too. I found out later that every woman I was in birthing class with had a C-Section. I was the only one who did not. It seems that particular hospital had an 85% C-Section rate.
To top it off, I wanted my daughter in the bed with me and when a nurse came in and saw it, she flipped on all the lights in the room and screamed, “If you’re going to have that baby in the bed with you, then you’ve got to have all the lights on this room!” My husband was sleeping on the couch and said, “What’s going on?” I said, “Apparently she doesn’t like it that the baby is in the bed with me.”
My other two children were home water-births without drugs. The midwife I’d been seeing for the months leading up to the births was the same midwife who helped deliver my children. Everything about those births were peaceful and relaxing.
I know home-births are not for everyone and in the end, a healthy pregnancy and healthy mama and baby are what really matters. However, the experience I had giving birth in water at home was far better than the one I had at the hospital.
I wonder if Stacy is also anti-vax? I hope not. I don’t want to put another celeb in my boycott list – not that she’s famous of course.
@mariatr
Home births are perfectly safe and often recommended for a healthy woman having a healthy pregnancy. Many people consider a home birth for a healthy woman to be SAFER than a hospital birth. I would consider that to be very different from the anti-vax movement, which I don’t think ANY doctors recommend.
This conversation about home birthing exists because of the increasing number of c-sections made for non-medical reasons and the lack of respect for a natural process (even in hospitals with meds). The World Health Organization says the number of c-sections shouldn’t pass the 15% but in USA it’s beyond 30%.
And in Britain the Health Department suggested that 40% of mothers should have their babies at home, considering how unnecessary it is when the mother is healthy with a normal pregnancy.
I’m just sharing this because when you attach “celebrities” to a subject that means much to so many it becomes a celebrity issue, a fad and it’s so much more than that.
Not just celebrities. The hipster mommy brigade acts just the same.
It’s the (humble?) brag aspect that jumps out; not trying to shade anyone’s personal decision. A ‘warrior’?
Yeah really. It’s another topper for the Mommy Wars. Breast feeding, home made baby food (organic of course), organic cotton onesies, etc. And now, your own mid wife!!! Give me a break.
IMO, all women who give birth, at home or in a hospital, with or without drugs, C-Section or natural, are warriors. I have never had kids and I’m in awe of ALL of them!
well first of all pregnancy IS an excuse to eat doughnuts. And what is all that nonsense about fighting a war and being warriors together? Jeez, you had a baby, just like billions of women before you. I had 3 x babies and each time my first thought was thank God that’s over, where’s my tea and toast?
The tea and toast I had after my daughter was born was the best thing I’d ever eaten!
Tea is the best after giving birth, even if it’s luke warm and made with uht.
The fetishization of childbirth…
Ew NO.
She’s talking about owing her experience. Just because it isn’t for you doesn’t mean she’s turning it into some deviant fetish.
Many doctors and hospitals view childbirth as a medical procedure. When in fact it’s a natural process.
Let’s not be unneccessarily glib just because she seems happy with her experience.
She’s NOT talking about “owning her experience”. She’s making natural childbirth out to be some super mystical experience that is better than hospital labor. I’ve HAD natural childbirth and there is nothing mystical about it. It’s hard and it hurts and it’s exhausting. If a woman wants to choose natural childbirth for health reasons or ideology, good, but no one needs to hear Stacy Kiebler judgingly opine that it’s an amazing bonding experience. Motherhood is guilt and Stacy is adding to it.
Stacy actually talked about mothers informing themselves and making a decision considering what was best for them. Just because your experience wasn’t that “spiritual” or “romantic” or whatever you would call it doesn’t mean she can’t share hers, no?
Well I had the natural birthing experience I wanted.
Walk into hospital – check
Ask nurse for drugs – check
Side eye nurse for not having drugs – check
Scream for someone to give me drugs – check
Scream at Mr Perb for not organising it better to get drugs – check
Gas and air supplied for scene creator – check
Painless and tranquil birth while high as a kite without distressing baby – check
Rinse and repeat another 2 times
I had a natural birth, but in a hospital. I love all the bells and whistles a hospital can give. Many hospitals around me have transformed their labor and delivery rooms into hi tech home style rooms. My nurses were fantastic and supportive. After the delivery they waited on me hand and foot. It is a very profitable part of a hospitals bussiness. Since affordable care act, everybody is covered.
Perfect answer.
Yup, me too. And I’m thankful every day that I was in a hospital birth center with a NICU, because my daughter needed it. (Nothing horrible, but there was meconium in the amniotic fluid when my water broke and she inhaled some immediately after birth and had to be suctioned and kept under observation for a while.)
I think this trend of abandoning the idea of hospital births in support of fewer unnecessary interventions is a bad idea. I’m an advocate for more support from hospitals for the range of choices people make regarding labor and birth. I think if everyone had access to the kind of hospital setting I did (I saw midwives for all my care but the birth center also has OBs, and I could have had an epidural or other meds if I had wanted/needed to but their approach to interventions was very patient-centered).
I loved being in a hospital. It was like a vacation. They bring you food and you don’t have to clean your room!
So not only does the baby have to leave its warm, comfortable, nourishing home in the womb and travel in wave after wave of muscular contraction through the tiny birth canal, it now has to be a “warrior.” Let a lifetime of competitive pressure begin!
“Oh yeah? Sez who? Well MY mom pushed for 65 hours without drugs and got an episiotomy cut the size of the San Andreas Fault!”
It’s good that there were no medical emergencies in her labour, and that although they have the resources to have medical backup, they didn’t need hospital equipment in a hurry.
“Oh yeah? Sez who? Well MY mom pushed for 65 hours without drugs and got an episiotomy cut the size of the San Andreas Fault!”
Oh holy sweet jebus.
I don’t think she had an OB and a midwife to compare the two. I think she did it so she could cover all of her bases.
And I say this as an aspiring midwife- but I just don’t get home births at all. Birthing centers all the way.
Good for her on being able to have the birth experience she wanted! I expected her to get the drugs after being so loud and judgy during her pregnancy, those first few real contractions after your water breaks are no joke and it’s something you just have to experience to understand how painful it is.
My grandmother had the “twilight” drug back in 1953 when she had my mother, she doesn’t remember a thing and said she woke up with a baby girl in her arms, she also stayed in the hospital for two weeks because her mother thought it would be the best place to rest and learn how to care for a newborn, how times have changed!
I wonder what The Skeptical OB will have to say about this. http://www.skepticalob.com/
Dr. Amy Tuteur is an obstetrician gynecologist. She received her undergraduate degree from Harvard College in 1979 and her medical degree from Boston University School of Medicine in 1984. Dr. Tuteur is a former clinical instructor at Harvard Medical School. And she has a lot to say about home birthing. A LOT!!!
She sure does. She really, really hates midwives, especially homebirth midwives.
She is a medical troll. She may have good qualifications but she purposely chooses to be provocative instead of reasoned. I’m a physician, and many physicians I know in the OB and pediatrics field despise her website.
She is a nasty, horrible, intentionally combative woman. I wouldn’t dream of having her take my blood pressure, let alone deliver my baby.
Yea, she has a lot to say – none of it particularly up to date or helpful. I also think she let her license lapse a long time ago, which might have something to do with the fact that although planned homebirth is looking safer and safer, she rails against it harder than ever. I don’t particularly have a dog in this hunt – out safely is my goal, and I have had a c-section and a VBAC, to that effect, with the result being two NICU babies – but she just seems like she has a problem.
She looks exactly like Heidi Klum in that screen grab of the video.
Why was it so long? Is that normal? What would’ve happened if there was complications? No meds at all? Home births confuse me
“Normal” doesn’t really exist, but it is not unusual. The first child often takes long. If something had happened, she would either have been transported to a clinic (if there was enough time) or her or the child might have died. Deaths or serious problems from home births occur very seldom since they the women who do them are usually very healthy women with very unproblematic pregnancies, no risk factors and no expected problems. Being at home makes lot of women more comfortable which might help reduce the risk of complications. But there’s always a tiny, tiny chance of something unexpected happening and then it can be a lot more risky than a hospital birth. Though, to put it into relation,a not medically needed Caesarean section is likely more risky (it’s a surgery and there’s always a bit of a risk with a surgery as well).
The average first time labor is about 12-18hrs, so 19 isn’t terribly long. That 19hrs is probably from her very first contraction to delivery–some people only consider their “active labor” (the pushing part) when they say how long their delivery was.
Most women that have a home birth have a midwife and/or doula there with them, as well as their spouse/birth coach/etc., so it’s not terribly different than many hospital births. My mother had me at home, and had my father, an OB-Gyn, and the doctor’s wife who was a nurse/midwife.
My first labor was 1-1/2 hours from water breaking to baby. Not everyone is the same. It can be much shorter than average.
My cousin was in labor with her 2nd for 28 hours. His head was too big. The dr didn’t rush to a C-section because no one was in distress. Well, my cousin was. She wanted that kid out.
For the first child “normal” is about 24 hours but usually only last 3-4 hours are the worst.
Subsequent labors are faster, around 8-12 hours.
Wow thanks for letting me know Stacey! I am suddenly soooo interested in your future projects! *eye roll*
Great, another no-talent pimping out mommyhood to stay relevant.
Exactly, you’d think she’s the first woman to have a baby
I support every woman’s choice in her delivery options, but I’d have been dead in the olden days. I had transverse breech twins the first time (blocking their exit), and in my next birth the cord was wrapped around my son’s neck, and he was 10lb 5 oz. (I’m very small.) I do think a natural birth is wonderful, but I’d want to be mighty close to a hospital in case.
I think that in most cases twins are never considered a possibility for home birth.
I also support a woman’s birth choice, whatever it is and I’d also have died giving birth to twins if I hadn’t been in a hospital. I very nearly did die anyway. I’m not going to get competitive about my NDE though: “What you gave birth and you DIDN’T nearly die? You know nothing” That would be a bit bizarre.
Nuchal cord is present in about 30% of births, and unless you had GD, 10 pounds, 5 ounces was probably fine for you to birth.
I’m all for natural etc. but I would NEVER do a home birth. Too many things can go wrong, I would want medical emergency personnel on hand.
Actually Houston, me too!
Give birth how you want to give birth. I wanted to be in a hospital in case things went sideways and I wanted the option of pain meds if I wanted/needed them. It was a good thing I did because I ended up needing forceps as she got stuck and already having an epidural in, it made things go a lot faster and we were able to avoid any complications. I’m all for people doing what they feel is best and for me, the best was in a controlled (as controlled as childbirth can be) setting where we had instant access to medical interventions.
I think she’s likeable, I always have, I am bored with the child-birthing stories…my two came by c-section –the first after 19 hours of fruitless labor. I would have died had I been trying to do it at home, and so would have my baby, so…meh. I’m glad for her though.
I also really like her healthy, fit body.
meh. I felt like my child and I had survived something together because it was horrible. I was drugged out of my mind for the actual birth but I had the pleasure of laboring au naturel entirely in my back through an abruption until 9 cm. SO NATURAL.
“Competitive mothering”! How the eff did we end up here? I have a theory, but I’m afraid to voice it. 😒
Tell me! I won’t judge you! (Let’s pretend no one else is reading ^_^)
(feminism gone awry???)
(s it? I get the sense that motherhood became an area where there’s this fear of not being good enough, anything that happens is always the parents (mother’s) fault. Society doesn’t help families in general. And that makes them (us) very defensive? Marketing doesn’t help. Have you entered in a baby’s store? There are seeds of fear EVERYWHERE, many dangers and mistakes waiting for distracted parents. But what do I know?)
Sofia, ita. I can’t tell you how relieved I am that my kids have reached adulthood, although that’s a whole other set of horrifying fears. But I have to wonder if all these accomplished, educated women have transferred their competitiveness into raising kids as a way to validate their choice. I tried not to play that game, but I still compare myself and how I raised my kids and I don’t know if our mothers did that so much. Awful. Maybe it’s just women, though, in competition for the survival of the species. Please forgive my ramblings!
Due to unforeseen circumstances, it’s best to give birth where emergencies can be taken care of quickly and efficiently to protect both baby and mom. I wouldn’t take my chances with a home birth and it’s a good thing I didn’t or I would be dead right now!
Confession: I’ve never watch The Business Of Being Born, because I have no desire to watch childbirth. Though the actual childbirth end is pretty dang cool, and while I wouldn’t want to be pregnant again I’d give birth again. But I thought the point of the documentary was supposed to be about the over use of medical interventions in childbirth in the US? Procedures like C sections are life saving for many mom’s and babies, but carry some very big risks, and the C Section rate in the US is something like 30%, most of which were medically necessary. In terms of both Healthcare and cost, it’s a good thing to change the conversation around pregnancy and childbirth. But that doesn’t mean that someone is a better mom because they had a longer, umedicated labor.
I typically tend to think, “Oh, how lovely, you had a relatively normal labor. That means your pain fell on a tolerable scale, and you were able to work up to it at a nice pace.”
Ha ha.
As opposed to the pain causing you to scream so much you can’t inhale, completely incapacitating you within a span of about twenty minutes.
Anyhoo, not trying to compete for who had the worst birth experience (memememMEEE). Just saying all these people who champion their perfect natural one as something that makes them superior…honey, please. I would have paid money to labor for 19 hours instead of what I experienced.
Really, the most important part is that both mom and baby are healthy. Because each woman’s birth story – C section, natural in a tub, in a hospital – is such an important event to her, whether it’s good or bad, painful or easy. Every pregnancy is different and every childbirth is different. Good for the folks that go the all natural route, but sometimes it’s just the luck of the draw.
People die in wars, just like people die during childbirth. She’s lucky nothing went terribly wrong
The ny Times did a series on home births earlier this year..it seems the statistics show hospital births are still much safer, but to each their own I guess..I would hope women would educate themselves on their choices. Yeah, the ‘warrior’ thing is a bit much..
The issue isn’t always so much education as the options available and the overall attitude of American Healthcare towards pregnancy and childbirth. You are very much at the mercy of your OB and the hospital – and while we tend to think of modern medicine as a savior it’s important to remember that each medical intervention (drugs, and epideural, a c section) carries additional risks to the mom and baby. Yet many hospitals will push towards these options not because it’s in the best interest of the mom, but because it’s easier or it could potentially minimize risk. The homebirth movement came about because of this (though it’s obviously evolved from there). We live in a country where our healthcare system expects us not to question the experts.
Personally, I am very lucky about the hospital where I had my children – they placed a lot of emphasis on before and after care, and were generally supportive on the whole front. But not all hospitals are like that.
I gave birth to my first in hospital, I was hoping to use he birthing pool but she was 4 weeks early so I had to have a monitor on so no water……the hospital was brilliant. I’m now pregnant with my second and my birthing plan is ‘in hospital, get it out safe’ simple.
The idea of home birth isn’t for me at all, if something was to go wrong how could I live in that house with the memory, nope not for me!
It has already been posted but why do we even have to be exposed to this nonsense. Because she dated George?
I will comment on the organic food thing and her pregnancy. SO ELITE SO PRIVILEGED and uneducated.
Wouldn’t it be nice if people in america all even had physical access to eat all organic. Let alone the cost. The presidents wife should write another book.
Delusional.
The President’s wife has a name, it is Michelle Obama, and she’s worked hard in her unique position to educate people of all levels of resource about healthy eating, local food sourcing, and regular exercise. That’s not elitism; that’s health education and she’s good at it.
You should ask first why unhealthy food is so cheap. The standard should be local and if possible organic and THAT should be cheaper. There’s a business if making people sick and many profit from it. I would rather have people talking about being healthy even if I don’t agree with their methods than seeing people proudly showing off how much they don’t care and how much they love their burguers and cheese while having a sedentary life.
There was a reason infant and mother mortality rates during birth dropped significantly after more births began occurring in hospitals. My daughter would not be here if I had tried to labor at home. In my personal opinion it is an unnecessary risk. I had a completely normal pregnancy, so a healthy pregnancy isn’t an automatic green flag to home birth as so many push it as. Just my two cents on it.
Well, she is lucky nothing went wrong…I wish all the best to her and her baby but I really think that was not the smartest idea. I was in hospital also having natural birth but than after five hours things went horribly wrong, I started bleeding horribly and had to be rushed to emergency C section, doctors saved my life and the life of my son. So I really don’t understand childbirth at home at all.
The Most Salient and Important question in here is: WHY ARE WE STILL TRYING TO MAKE HER A THING???!!! the agreed upon social Contract is that we Don’t Have to Care about you anymore once Clooney de-crowns you
PREACH!! You had a baby LAST YEAR!! I clicked on it because I thought she just had her second one! I was thinking to myself ‘I don’t recall reading that she was pregnant again’. You were pregnant…big deal. You had a home birth…big deal. You had 19 hours of labor…big deal. Millions of women do this every year and you are no more special than they are. You’ve had your 15 minutes in the spotlight. Move on.
Glad to know I’m not the only reader who thought she’d had a second baby.
And this grand revelation does not make me think of her as GC’s ‘warrior’ ex. She’s the former wrestler who preceded the glorious barrister.
She still has her pre-George fan based in the wrestling world. She doesn’t bother me in the least. Somehow I can’t stand the Italian one, though. Can’t remember her name.
She and Giselle Bundchen….the most insufferably sanctimonious mothers on the planet.
I see where she is coming from about having bonded with the baby because she had it at home with no drugs. I had my baby in a hospital with drugs and eventually a C-Section due to his comically large head and I never did bond with him. Still, even now – no bond. Sometimes I forget who he is and I will come into the kitchen as he is making a sandwich and scream, “WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE?” He has taken to carrying his birth certificate in his back pocket to show me. I let him stay because the authorities say I have to.
The nurse who weighed him after he was born was not on drugs and they seemed to bond as a result; she still comes by to visit him, which is nice because she usually brings pie.
Thank you for that Ms. Eyre!
Omg I laughed so hard.
Well, this covers it. No need for anybody to say anything else on the subject.
This is IT. Wish I’d written it.
Maybe you would have bonded if you’d eaten the placenta? I hear that’s what the really dedicated moms do.
Thank you. My coffee just came out of my nose. LMAO
You win everything, forever.
I was all pro-home birth with my son…watched the documentary, read as much as I could about it, watched YouTube videos to prepare, organic to the max….then I was hospitalized at 13 weeks with severe abdominal pain and we decided to use a midwife and a birthing pool at a center on the grounds of a hospital to be cautious. But then I actively labored for over 24 hours with excruciatingly horrible back labor and the water was cold and the tub hard, so I pleaded to be moved to the hospital. The midwives reluctantly took me. I got an epidural and still labored for an additional 12 hours….then I crowned for 55 agonizing minutes (the epidural wore off) and when my son finally came out, he fractured my tailbone and pulled all the ligaments around it and didn’t breathe for the first 4 minutes, then I was bleeding out, and needed emergency assistance. All is mostly ok now, but things I know with certainty is that I and my son most likely would’ve died if we’d stuck with a homebirth, and trust your gut; the midwives were not thrilled with transferring me to the hospital but Lord knows I needed that!!!! All hail hospitals!!!!
I gave birth naturally, but not by choice! When I got to the hospital, my labor had progressed so quickly the doctor told me there wouldn’t be time for them to take effect before I delivered. As it turned out, she was face up, and in addition to my needing an episiotomy, they needed to use forceps on her. Not exactly the way I had envisioned my birth plan. I shudder to think what could have happened if I’d given birth at home instead.
True story. Whenever I find out a woman is pregnant, my next sentence is “get the epidural!”. Best decision I ever made. The best advice I have ever given, too. If you want to suffer through hours of unnecessary pain, more power to you. My birth experience was calm and serene because I wasn’t distracted by agonizing pain. Plus, a second or third degree tear is no joke. Do you really want to feel that? An honest question though. If you do experience a significant tear, who is there to stitch you up of you are at home???
Um, your trained midwife is perfectly capable of stitching you up. Mine did. They don’t just show up with a catcher’s mitt.
mine did as well, and she was sure a lot kinder and gentler about it. my second, I had to have an OB along with my midwife, due to my complications (not my son’s) and it was … not great.
my midwives were amazing.
There is so much misinformation about home birth out there, it’s disgusting. For low risk women having a planned home birth attended by a trained midwife, fetal and maternal mortality rates are almost identical, sometimes better for home births. Studies that say differently count ANY out of hospital births, inccluding babies born in the car on the way to the hospital and sometimes even late miscarriages. And any responsible home birther has a plan in place for transport in the unlikely event of an emergency, which are usually foreseeable long before they are life threatening.
The fear and ignorance is astounding.
Well, if midwives are as sanctimonious as you, count me in for a hospital birth.
Just because you chose to give birth outside of the safety net we take for granted in the modern world, doesn’t give you bragging rights. If anything, I think it makes you foolish and ignorant of the risks that have been associated with birth since the dawn of time. When I read stories like this, I immediately think of the women in Pakistan or Ethiopia who bleed out in fields after giving birth. I think of their other kids and husbands who would give ANYTHING to have one more day with these women. The women who would have used every available resource to give birth safely. And the spoiled Western women who want bragging rights and play roulette with their lives and their babies’ lives.
Millions of babies and moms have died during the childbirth process. Finally we have ways to prevent the VAST majority of these deaths and some people legit say “f it” and decide to birth at home. Most of the time it might be totally fine. But when it goes wrong it goes WRONG.. Not worth losing your life and leaving your kids without a mom just for a birth experience.
know what I hate? not birth stories, breast feeding stories, when to feed, what to feed, co sleeping, whatever. none of that, I could care less what you do.
what I hate is when people refer to a baby as “Baby”. Mom and “baby” are good.
Like that name of the baby is Baby. Baby needs to go to sleep!
like that.
drives me out of my freaking mind.
I called my daughter baby for two years, until my son was born, lol!
My son was ripped out of my womb. He came out screaming and peeing on the nurses. Talk about a warrior!
I can’t help but wonder if evolution is the reason why csection rates are going up. Women that would have died back in the day are being saved and passing on traits that might not be favorable for childbirth. Plus babies are getting bigger.
I had a csection with my middle child. Worst pain I’ve ever been in for a week! It’s why I wanted to have my third child by VBAC.
I just gave birth to my first child 2 weeks ago and I could never imagine doing what she did. My labor lasted only 7 hours and it was so insanely painful, I had originally planned on doing it as “naturally” as I could but I was screaming & cursing for an epidural lol. I waited so long to go to the hospital though (was 9 cm dilated by the time I got there) that they wouldn’t give me one. Instead I got a little shot and my son arrived an hour later. Competitive mommy-ness is real; I’ve already had 1 mom make it out as if my delivery was somehow invalid because I used some medication. Props to the women who can push through it – I took meds though at that last hour and I don’t regret it.
Don’t be friends with that mom.
I don’t know. I never tell my acquaintances I had natural births.What does it matter after the fact anyway? I think natural birth is better but about 80 percent of women in the US have epidural , so it can’t be that bad.
I had an epideural both times and they were WONDERFUL.
I actually believe (like many) that How we give birth and our care during pregnancy is extremely important. I had excellent prenatal care with my midwife throughout my pregnancy- home visits, phone calls, we took classes, read books and watched dvd’s she recommended for us. We would talk about how I was feeling and my needs as well as my husbands. I labored at home for 3 days off and on with my doula and husband by my side- my midwife stopping by to visit. And after I gave birth she and her assistant cleaned our house and taught me how to breastfeed. They came by the following days and weeks after that to check on the baby and I and help us with all the new parent fears! It was an AMAZING experience. I cannot picture becoming a mother any other way 🙂
Which is great and all but all the classes in the world can’t fix an unexpected haemorrhage or baby arriving in distress or etc etc etc. There’s no point pretending that because you did everything ‘right’ you had a great experience, that’s exactly the type of competitive mother shaming you shouldn’t be doing. You just got lucky.
I think the home birth movement comes from a legitimate fear of the American way of birth – lots of cascading interventions and OBs recommending c-sections or inductions because of fear of being sued if something goes wrong. Lots of women need c-sections, but plenty don’t. To me home birth seems like an extreme reaction to that fear. But I get that it is difficult to find an OB and a hospital that will give mothers the low intervention experience they would prefer. Rather than making a big deal about “natural” birthing (aren’t all births natural?) it seems to me we should be having a larger conversation about why our medical system is the way it is and how we can improve the experience for all mothers.
I had a similar experience, I pretty much had a shouting match with the doctor because I never wanted an induction due to potential complications but he was tired of wating after 12 hours and wanted to speed things up. This is not a kind of thing a woman in labor needs.Next time I waited to the last minute to go to the hospital because I wanted to avoid it and barely made it.
I loved my birth in the hospital. Induced with an epidural. It was so nice! Only pushed for 30 minutes. A couple hours later I started hemmorhaging and if I hadn’t been in the hospital I would have died. I’m thankful for having that safety net.
In the end, do what you think is best for your child. The end goal is a healthy child. Andy discomfort/ pain are temporary and for me never were a part of the equation.
I’m so thankful that I live in a first-world country where I CAN make the informed choice of hospital birth, home birth, natural birth, medicated birth, drug-free, etc. My choices are supported by both the medical staff and my husband. Not everyone has this option, and that’s the truth of it. Of course a healthy mom and baby are the ultimate goal, but no woman should EVER be shamed on how her child(ren) was brought into this world, even if things don’t go according to plan. They should be congratulated and supported for going through a life-changing ordeal.
Having just given birth for the first time 3 days ago, and after 41 hours of drug free, excruciatingly painful labour, then informed that i had to have a c-section, i definitely felt robbed of all that time and pain that i had already endured. I don’t know if it’s so much a competitive mom thing as it is a competition between what you know your body is capablle of and what you think you are mentally capable of. At least for me i wanted to see if i could do and then while i was in the throughs of it you do feel a bond that you can’t imagine, knowing that something amazing is being born from your pain. Being robbed of that accomplishment did take something away from the moment. However i still ended up with the best baby girl in the world so…
I had both of my children in a birthing center. The first I did natural (not sure what I was thinking) and the second I insisted on drugs. The first was an extremely traumatizing and painful experience of 23 and a half hours in labor, he got stuck twice and attempred to tear me a new one. My second was 7 hours of pain free bliss with no complications and a fond memory of an epidural.
Interesting article on the history of childbirth via midwife vs. hospital.
http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/science_of_longevity/2013/09/death_in_childbirth_doctors_increased_maternal_mortality_in_the_20th_century.2.html
The last few paragraphs are very interesting.