In July 2014, Sherri Shepherd’s lawyers filed paperwork in her then-ongoing divorce battle with her estranged husband, Lamar Sally. The papers were basically Sherri’s declaration that she did not want any part of the child she and Lamar were expecting via surrogate, a child who had not even been born when Lamar Sally dropped the divorce filing on Sherri. Sherri claimed that Lamar was attempting to defraud her, that he only wanted a child so that he could get child support from Sherri. Then, back in July of this year, a judge ruled that Sherri would have to pay child support for the kid that Sherri said she never wanted. The catch was that if Sherri could prove that Lamar Sally defrauded her, she wouldn’t have to pay child support. It was an especially crazy legal decision, made even crazier by the fact that biologically, the kid isn’t Sherri’s – Sherri and Lamar used a donor egg and Lamar’s sperm.
Anyway, a lot of people were queasy about every part of this story. It’s a unique legal decision, it reflects poorly on parents who use gestational carriers, donor eggs, etc. Sherri looked bad because she kept publicly stating that she wanted no part in this child’s life, when at one point… she definitely did. She definitely agreed to it at some point. In any case, Sherri is speaking about all of the drama in a new interview with People Magazine. Some highlights:
What went wrong: “My situation was a sense of, I didn’t state what I needed and what I wanted and what I didn’t want for being scared of somebody leaving the relationship. There are consequences to everything, but I was scared to say, ‘That’s not going to work for me. I don’t want that.'”
Her mindset now: “I’m the type of person I feel like as long as you can get up, you have another chance. I’ve gone through stuff, a nasty divorce, nasty custody battle but for me, I get up and I smile. I go through it and I make it through.”
She still doesn’t want to be considered the kid’s mother: “I am appealing the ruling that happened and he [Sally] gets his settlement every month. He’s happy. There nothing I can do. It’s out of my hands. You move on and I have a son. I have to take care of him so everything is good.”
She has integrity: “As long as the people who know me, know my heart and they know my love for my son and my character and integrity. That’s all I have to stand on. As long I can look at myself in the mirror and look up and go ‘Did I do what you told me to do’ I’m good. I still have to get to a place where I am mentally okay. I’m the type of person that I feel like as long as you can get up, you have another chance. I’ve gone through stuff – a nasty divorce, nasty custody battle but for me, I get up and I smile and I make it through.”
Future plans: “I do want to do a book for women about stepping past fear. I think it would help a lot of women who are in this place of being scared to walk away, but right now I am just laying low and letting time do its work.”
I know this article and these quotes were specially designed to elicit sympathy, but I’ve never disliked her more. I feel like she’s co-opting the language of battered women – “a lot of women who are in this place of being scared to walk away” – when her situation was not a case of being under threat, psychologically, emotionally or physically. She and her husband disagreed about how and if to start a family and instead of telling Lamar Sally that she didn’t want a child, she went along with his plan to use a surrogate and donor egg. She agreed to it. She was not coerced. Yes, maybe she was “afraid” that he would leave her, but having abandonment issues is not the same thing as being abused or battered or having real fears about your safety and well-being.
It will be interesting to see what happens in the appeal and if there really is any evidence that Lamar Sally coerced her and/or defrauded her.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
No Im Sympathetic to The Child she is trying to shirk and to Geography since she doesn’t know how that works, and to the gay people she “loves in spite of their sins” and to her clothes cause she is also shaped like a Bag of Milk and I feel entirely comfortable saying that cause she is THAT awful
Uh, I didn’t know about that quote.
Agreed. I have never been a fan of Sherri. She has always marketed her ignorance and dumbfound, hapless expressions as cute and comedic. I never bought what she was selling.
Oh yeah Kiddo, she’s been spouting asinine crap like that for YEARS, Is like the most poorly written Tyler Perry Character come to life
haha, that’s funny.
QQ – you have very clearly summed up my disdain for this woman!
She’s a member of the Flat Earth Society. What can you expect?
No! I love 30 Rock and she’s so fun in that. This is disappointing.
No Im Sympathetic to The Child she is trying to shirk and to Geography since she doesn’t know how that works, and to the gay people she “loves in spite of their sins” and to her clothes cause she is also shape like a Bag of Milk and I feel entirely comfortable saying that cause she is THAT awful
“Bag of milk” – bwah ha ha ha!
She is just a dumb “the earth is flat”, fat pig.
Oh, poor pitiful her. She is still not taking any responsibility for bringing a child into the world! Reminds me of mens’ rights people that want “financial abortions”. Um, no, you do the deed, you face the risks and consequences.
Pay up, Sherri, I don’t feel bad for you because you were weak and scared.
Yes, she did a terrible job of eliciting any sympathy if that was her goal. Poor child that will always know how his/her mother felt about him/her because she won’t stop talking about HOW MUCH she did NOT want a child. I can’t stand her now.
But is she really the child’s mother? If you’ve never spent time with the child and he’s not yours biologically, does the fact that you had intent that caused him to be born make you a parent? Or is the carrier more of a mother because she created the life? It raises so many interesting questions.
@Cat’sMeow – while her ova weren’t used, she was integral in ensuring the child was conceived and implanted into a surrogate. It was an active decision on her part, not an accidental/unplanned pregnancy. While I understand her desire not to be tied to this man, she created a child with him as much as any couple that intentionally tried to get pregnant or accidentally got pregnant “the old-fashioned way.” She has a legal AND moral responsibility to that child. If she doesn’t want him getting a grand pay off for this, she could have sued for primary custody (and used her “he defrauded me into having this child w/the purpose of sponging off it” excuse to her benefit) which would limit the child support she’d have to pay to him. He would then have had to countersue based on the child being “his” and not hers but then, if he won, she may not have had to pay child support
I do feel slightly bad for her. I mean after all of this she now has to fund her ex husband who I feel like did infact tried to defraud her. I kinda of believed that the baby is infact his and his ex gf’s baby.
But i feel like she did it wrong. While she feels cheated and betrayed, she did agree to have this child bring into the world. I would have fought for custody of the child. I would raise that child as my own. Not only will her ex never get a dime, he will have to live with the fact that his kid loves me more than him.
You don’t get to say what is valid with respect to what she felt. Maybe she felt emotionally abused or bullied. I agree that this is Sherri’s way of rewriting the narrative to smooth out her re-entry into The View, but it doesn’t mean she’s lying about how she felt trapped in her marriage with no way out.
Thank You! Just yesterday we were chastised for not believing that “Khloe felt frightened by Lamar” but now we are supposed to disregard this woman’s feelings?
Why are we expected to 100% believe one woman without any concrete evidence, but not another? Do we know every detail of what went on behind the scenes?
It’s interesting how the narrative changes because of personal biases.
Everything the Kardashians do or “go through” is made up for the headlines. I doubt anything at all really happened.
Was just coming down here to comment this. I’m no fan of Sharis and she’s a bit of a dummy. That doesn’t mean you can declare that “her situation was not a case of being under threat, psychologically, emotionally or physically.” It’s obvious she’s terrible with words and very well could’ve been trying to say she was emotionally abused, because what better way to emotionally abuse someone than manipulate them with that baby situation? Maybe she’s co-opting the language because she actually was being abused, and it’s easy to at least open up to that idea because it’s clear he is manipulating her with that baby situation. And just because you don’t believe someone’s political views is no reason to want to see them abused and taken advantage of.
If I recall correctly, there was more to this story than the fact that she really didn’t want to the child. The donor ended up being the husband’s ex. She felt they colluded to have her pay for a baby for them to have. That was her reason at the time for not wanting to be the legal mom- she would be bank rolling her ex’s and his ex/currents baby.
And I completely oppose her views on everything, and am not pro-Sherry. However, if any of that was true, I have sympathy for her.
UGH. She’s a dim lightbulb.
Not a drop of sympathy from me. She willingly walked down the aisle and she walked into that agreement with the surrogate as well. Grow up and accept the responsibility you signed up for.
I think she got hoodwinked and the baby plan was a con guarantee for cash. That said, she agreed to it, and what’s done is done. But I DO question the ruling to the extent that he pushed for the baby and then FILED for divorce. If she had filed for divorce and tried to cut ties with the baby that would have looked worse.
Yeah I think she got hoodwinked and I do have problems with the court forcing her to pay child support since you know the husband is using that money on himself. It just makes me cringe because if I was in a similar situation (found out husband is sleeping with others and was using a baby to take my money in the long term) I don’t know what I would do. I would be bitter about being forced to have a child that I didn’t want at all and having to deal with that for 18 years.
In her case legally she is that babies mother so she could fight for custody and use her exs shady behavior against him.
@Neah23 I think she thought about doing that but I don’t think she is. Her ex is toxic and I think she just wants to be done with him. Shame because if I were here I go for sole custody myself.
I think so too, not saying that she shouldn’t have handled things differently because of the innocent child that is involved, but she admitted that she should have said that she was uncomfortable with the whole process instead of being afraid that he would just walk out on her if she wasn’t accommodating. Sometimes the desire to be loved is stronger than common sense.
I am the nothing like an accommodating person, if i don’t want it but you do then you are SOL…. i’m working on that! my husband says I’m not but i am. lol
Love you Sherri,I knew Sal was a loser before she married him.He will never get a job.
So, how is this different than if she had gotten pregnant against her better judgment or true wishes? The two of them are responsible for that child. It wouldn’t be here if not for their actions. I do have sympathy for her if she thought he loved her and he was just using her, but that’s not the baby’s fault.
ETA: She sounds as bright as a box of rocks, and people are pointing things out to me that I didn’t know, so I’m deleting the top part of this comment
Rats. Just whisper it to me…
I just don’t get her. I feel bad for her, but more than anything else I feel bad for that child….
The truly injured party is this innocent child.
Not a drop of sympathy from me ether. Between her and Kelly Rutherford changing the story to fit their narrative I just can’t.
I remember Sherri going on about wanting another baby and how she tried and tried to have another one and couldn’t do to too complications of multiple abortions. When she announced the news of the new baby she was crying with happiness.
So now she wants us to believe she never wanted another child.
Okay, I guess I don’t know enough about her and hearing THIS, I will shut it. What I’ve read seemed to be only the other side of the story.
I only have sympathy for the child, but maybe it’s best to not be raised by someone as dense as Sherri. Along with her flat earth belief, she doesn’t believe in evolution, and on The View she claimed that Christians existed in Ancient Greece where they were thrown to the lions. When the others questioned this, she said that “Christians came first” before either Ancient Rome or Ancient Greece. And of course her brand of faith believes that it is a sin to be gay. So, lucky baby to not be raised by this dense bigot.
So messy. I really feel for the baby.
Yes, poor little thing. Imagine reading about it later. It breaks my heart.
It really does, that poor little boy is going to find out what kind of people both his parents are and how they felt about him.
I am not sympathetic to her AT ALL. I am actually angry on behalf of my friends who cannot, or have problems conceiving and cannot even dream of affording a gestational carrier. I am sympathetic to the child she wanted and then changed her mind on..
Spongebob shaped crazy women, in my opinion.
If the genders were reversed, or if it had been an adoption, would what Sheri is saying be OK?
The time to get out of having the kid was before she signed the papers.
Can she prove there was fraud? Like not having signed any papers?
All this amounts to is people need to put a lot more thought and investigation into anything they do before they agree to it and sign on the dotted line! Because if you screw up it may come back to haunt you for many years to come. Why didn’t she figure any of this out before she agreed to do it? Now, he is going to make her pay to support him and his ex-girlfriend’s child and he can legally do it probably.