If you are familiar with Keke Palmer, you likely fell in love with her watching Akeelah and the Bee. In addition, she had some nice turns in Shrink with Kevin Spacey and Cleaner with Samuel L. Jackson and Ed Harris. Keke is a crazy talented actress who is playing Marty in the upcoming Grease Live in January alongside Aaron Tveit (yum) as Danny Zuko. I loved Marty. I mean, Rizzo’s my girl but if Rizzo went to a cooler chick, I would happily accept the role of Marty “A lock of hair – from her CHEST.”
Currently, Keke is working on her musical career. She released a single back in October called “I Don’t Belong to You” about individual empowerment. The video is below. The song, as a song, is just okay in my opinion, but what caught folk’s attention was that, in the video Keke begins by getting out of bed with a man and ends it by presumably getting into bed with a woman. This caused People to ask, “Is this video kind of a coming out?” You can read the whole thing here. Keke both did and did not answer the question by saying, “The video was to represent the young woman today – it’s not the traditional woman anymore – and not the specifics of ‘Am I gay? Am I straight? Am I bi?… I’m making the rules for myself, and I don’t have to be stuck down to one label.”
Keke went on to say, “I don’t feel the need to define nothin’ to nobody, because I’m always changing. Why say that I’m this or that when I might not be tomorrow?” she says. “I’m gonna follow my own feelings and my own heart.”
I have already spoken about my thoughts on labels. The second quote speaks much louder to me. Keke is 22; many people go through several incarnations in their 20s, regardless of what they are exploring. I am not saying Keke is just experimenting, I am saying she is enlightened enough to know that she is finding herself and doesn’t feel obligated to define herself publicly until she settles on who she is, if at all.
Or, of course, she may be begging us to ask if the video is a coming out statement as several news outlets are all carrying the story and it’s got people talking about the song, which is the best publicity of all.
She’s right, she owes me nothing. Except Grease, she owes me a mean Marty in Grease.
photo credit: Getty and PRPhotos
I think “identifying as—” anything is the issue. You dont have to fit any definitions at all, and those definitions are causing lots of problems.
AGREED.
x100000
Interesting to hear her point of view and I wouldn’t be surprised if more celebrities spoke out on this in the future. Watch the media still identify her as “bisexual” though like they do with Frank Ocean even though he doesn’t identify as bisexual.
I have hard time identifying too and Sarah Paulson’s thoughts basically express how I feel about my sexuality (she does not label and she states that she understands why some people might find it problematic but she can’t let that dictate how she views her self). I have dated men, women (although I’ve never been attracted to butch), and transgender women but I’ve never been attracted to transgender men so I’m not really pan but I don’t see myself as bi either…and sometimes I’ve leaned more towards women and sometimes more towards men. There’s this definite belief in the community though that by refusing to label yourself you are either self-hating, “confused,” or hating all labels (which just isn’t true) or that it’s a denial of being born this way….which in someway I understand because it was so difficult and still is for many of us in a world that is still largely homophobic that it’s easier to think in a more uniform movement but I still find it a tad hypocritical because it reminds me of the homophobes that think people are just “confused”. Thing is sexuality is a big and wide spectrum and one experience doesn’t speak for all….. I feel like the 18-25 year olds though are a lot more comfortable with the idea of no labels and the level of acceptance slows down the older you get (I’m not that much older but I’m one of only two people I know who don’t label)…..Curious if any other Celebitches don’t label and how people (straight or gay or unlabeled themselves) have reacted to it….I’ve been surprised at how many people in the community are a little eye-rolly to me when I admit I don’t label myself.
I didn’t read your comment before I wrote mine, as we were posting at the same time, and I wanted to be sure you understood that I was talking about celebrities and interviews, not about you.
I understand 🙂 Actually, sorry that I rambled so much…..:) This just got me thinking about how the younger generation is more open to this than the late twenties and above generation. I get your point btw….it’s just the media is often so preoccupied with sexuality I feel like a lot of stars think they have to get out in front of it (Sarah Paulson also discussed that).
Div, I find your take on things interesting.
As for labeling or not, if you told me that you don’t label, I would accept that, and I’m in my 40’s. 🙂
Thank you. I thought your comment was interesting and informative, not rambling.
Thank you
@DIV
you articulated my thoughts perfectly (in your first post)
I live in San Francisco. I’ve noticed a lot of gay men in the LGBT community that I know roll their eyes when somebody declares themselves to be bisexual. As if it’s a transitional term caused, like you referred to, those that hear that think ‘bisexuals’ are either self-hating or in denial or what have you and finally, one day when they are ready, will admit to being gay. THAT presumption is unhealthy, hateful AND homophobic – and it’s coming from members of the actual LGBT community, which is upsetting. It just shows you how people want you to be defined, in a category, a label because, well, it’s easier for them. LGBT the acronym is front and center showing diversity, differences and unity between all of us but frankly, then you feel the “PICK A SIDE ALREADY!” pressure. Sexuality isn’t ‘picking sides’
There’s an awesome blog I follow called BiRadical. She calls the LGBT movement the GGGG movement because it’s essentially defined by the cultural needs of affluent gay white men. I’m also someone who refuses labels and I think that’s partly due to the fact that I’m not really welcome in the LGBT community despite my colorful dating history including a pretty broad cast of characters. I’ve found there’s not really a community for my type of sexuality so I build my own communities based on other parts of who I am. There are open minded and closed minded people existing in every group you encounter.
Thank you guys for sharing your experiences. It’s a hard thing to discuss because it’s almost like there is this unspoken idea that we can’t talk about the issues and complexities in the community because there are so many serious difficulties outside…but it is something that needs to be addressed. Everything has become so much better in the past ten years that I have hope that the same progress will happen by the time 2025 rolls around.
Thank you for this extremely thoughtful comment. I think the issue seems straightforward when it’s applied to other people, but is complicated when it comes to oneself. I am generally pro-label because I think the more people claim these labels (gay, pansexual, bisexual, lesbian, other orientations I am forgetting), the more queer identities become visible and the less they remain stigmatized. If you know a person who identifies as pansexual you are probably less likely to view this sexuality as mysterious, frightening or weird. But notice that the benefit is mostly for others, not oneself directly. There’s a whole lot of burden involved in choosing and assigning a label to oneself. There’s the “am I really sure? What if it changes?” issue. There’s the “people are going to judge me” issue. There’s the pressure to out oneself when developing friendships and in social situations to be “honest” rather than tacitly “lie” by omission. There’s the pressure to suddenly be an ambassador for every person who identifies the same way as you to “prove” that these kinds of people can be good people. Public identity ain’t easy, so I understand why people eschew labels often.
It’s fine with me if you don’t label yourself. It’s fine with me if you do. I suppose this conversation needs to continue until everyone who needs to talk about it has had their say, but personally, I’m interested in your skills as an actor or singer or whatever you are more than who you want to sleep with. I’m a little bored with the “I refuse to label myself so that’s why I’m talking about how I don’t label myself.”
Marty forever! she was always my favorite Pink Lady too.
I adore Keke. She’s come a long way from living out of her car with her father. You rarely hear any bad gossip about her. That can’t be said for many starlets in her age group. This just goes to show that you can be a child star and come out unscathed by the business.
On another note I don’t talk about my sexual preference much but I will say I’m an equal opportunity kinda girl
meh! it’s her body, her sex life and her agency to do as she pleases with, if she wants to identify herself as Blob/sapiosexual/bi, Aggressively hetero Is the entirety of her black business and not mine, I’ve always been an ally and a live and let live type if you are not out here doing kids/animals/ or people non consensually is all a-ok by me, the older i get the more elastic my understanding of sex and people’s inner lives gets
Me as well. As I have gotten older you learn that your life will not always be black or white.
For one of my sociology classes ions ago, we touched on The Kinsey Report. I truly did not appreciate it until now. I will have to read up on it again. For what I remember and what is being said by people today, it does make you go, ahhhhhh.
This is my stance as well.
Wow. She is gorgeous. Way too pretty for that streaky, grey-ish hair in the top photo.
Um, I was hoping more people would comment on.that.hair. It is terrible! No self-respecting person, no matter how they identify, should agree to that hair.
I’ve always been a huge Keke fan. She has such a fun personality.
Yeah. She’s lovely. I like this answer.
Keke Palmer is bi great. Who asked? Yet another unnecessary declaration.
Nah not unnecessary. Loads of people still don’t believe bi “exists”. Openness leads to acceptance. Why should anyone feel they have to hide?
“I don’t feel the need to define nothin’ to nobody, because I’m always changing. Why say that I’m this or that when I might not be tomorrow?” she says. “I’m gonna follow my own feelings and my own heart.”
EPICly put.
…i’ll be over here finishing the end of that video in my head. thank you.
Nice write up. Love Keke! She’s also hilarious on Scream Queens. I’m glad she’s part of this new generation that isn’t so caught up on labels and seems to have more of a live and let live attitude in general.