Jennifer Garner covers VF: Ben Affleck ‘is the most brilliant person in any room’


Jennifer Garner covers Vanity Fair, which… is confusing to me. Is she promoting her terrible-looking faith-based glurge movie, is she promoting her career in general or is she part of the PR for Batman v. Superman? (She also has Wakefield coming out sometime this year.) Maybe it’s all of that put together, although I can’t help but think she makes Ben Affleck look so much better for having put up with him for so long. And it also makes her look like somewhat of a doormat. Especially when she so obviously goes to bat for him. I have the feeling this won’t be the only post we have on this interview as there’s plenty to discuss.

First off, she establishes that she hasn’t been kissed in eight months and she also says that Ben wasn’t cheating with the nanny because they were separated at the time. It’s known that Ben slept with the nanny around June 25, when the family was on vacation in the Bahamas. That’s seven months ago and that’s when Jennifer is said to have found out that her husband was cheating with her children’s caregiver. I would assume that Ben stopped getting intimate with his wife around the time he started hooking up with the nanny, so that explains the eight month timeline. Here’s more of what Garner told Vanity Fair, and it’s of course a very flattering piece on her overall, with quotes from friends and family gushing about her and her charity work.

She calls Ben the love of her life
It was a real marriage. It wasn’t for the cameras. And it was a huge priority for me to stay in it. And that did not work. I didn’t marry the big fat movie star; I married him. And I would go back and remake that decision. I ran down the beach to him, and I would again. You can’t have these three babies and so much of what we had. He’s the love of my life. What am I going to do about that?

She describes Ben as mercurial
He’s the most brilliant person in any room, the most charismatic, the most generous. He’s just a complicated guy. I always say, ‘When his sun shines on you, you feel it.’ But when the sun is shining elsewhere, it’s cold. He can cast quite a shadow.

They were separated when Ben banged the nanny
We had been separated for months before I ever heard about the nanny. She had nothing to do with our decision to divorce. She was not a part of the equation. Bad judgment? Yes. It’s not great for your kids for [a nanny] to disappear from their lives. I have had to have conversations [with the children] about the meaning of ‘scandal.’

She tries to ignore the press about their family
I turned on CNN one day and there we were. I just won’t do it anymore. I took a silent oath with myself last summer to really stay offline. I am totally clueless about all of it. Ben says, ‘Oh, you just don’t care,’ and I say, ‘No, it’s the opposite.’ It hurts me so much, and I care so much. I cannot be driven by the optics of this. I cannot let anger or hurt be my engine. I need to move with the big picture always on my mind, and the kids first and foremost.

On doing a love scene for Wakefield
When you haven’t been kissed for over eight months, it’s strange. But it’s my job. It’s nine in the morning and you think, I could really use a shot of alcohol. Then, after a take or two, after everyone has seen your boobs and love handles, you just want to take every crew member and be like, ‘Please have mercy on me!’

On people wanting to see her back with Ben
When Jen Aniston and Brad Pitt broke up. I was dying to see something that said they were getting back together.

On people mocking Ben because he’s a cheater
People have pain—they do regrettable things, they feel shame, and shame equals pain. No one needs to hate him for me. I don’t hate him. Certainly we don’t have to beat the guy up. Don’t worry—my eyes were wide open during the marriage. I’m taking good care of myself.

On Ben’s douche tattoo on his back
You know what we would say in my hometown about that? ‘Bless his heart.’ A phoenix rising from the ashes. Am I the ashes in this scenario? I take umbrage. I refuse to be the ashes.

[From Vanity Fair]

Kaiser pointed out to me that Vanity Fair is the outlet of choice for certain celebrity women to dish the dirt on their exes, specifically when Jennifer Aniston cried to the ocean (and her BFF) about Brad Pitt lacking a sensitivity chip and when Hilary Swank revealed that Chad Lowe was an addict. (Also credit to Lainey for mentioning that.) To me it looks like Garner is confirming that Ben cheated while kind of sticking up for him and establishing that he’s a good dad and she wants him in her life, she’s done this over and over again in the press.

There’s much more in the story, including Garner explaining that she’s not ready to date but got hit on once, and her praise of Ben as a dad. She also talks about how she got through this difficult time. They’re putting the kids first, as just about every PR planted story on them has stated. The one thing I learned is that Garner is resolved to move on and put this behind her. At least that what she’s saying. I’ll believe it when they actually file for divorce.

Oh and Kaiser bet me $10 that Ben would go to church the weekend before Batman vs. Superman opens. I bet against her but I wouldn’t mind paying up.

You can see Vanity Fair’s slideshow of Jennifer Garner here.

photos of Ben and Jen are from September, 2015. Photos of Jen alone are from January 31, 2016. Credit: WENN

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner arrive at a building in Santa Monica

Jennifer Garner shopping for fresh groceries at the Farmer's Market

Jennifer Garner shopping for fresh groceries at the Farmer's Market

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194 Responses to “Jennifer Garner covers VF: Ben Affleck ‘is the most brilliant person in any room’”

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  1. Maya says:

    Good God – can’t these people get over the fact that Jen Aniston and Brad Pitt were not the perfect golden couple who suddenly split up? There were rumours of them growing apart more than a year before Brad even met Angelina. Just see their old interviews and it was clear Brad wanted children while Jennifer wanted to progress in her career. They always seemed to be friends more than sharing a soul touching love Brad seems to have with Angelina.

    Jen G is actually confirming the cheating but in a way that her children won’t understand it but adults will. She is protecting her children and if it weren’t from them then I have no doubt she would completely talk trash about Ben.

    Two people in Hollywood who have behaved with class and dignity after finding out their husbands cheated – are Sandra Bullock and Erin Woods.

    • Minxx says:

      LOL.. people are funny sometimes. One of my old classmates couldn’t get over the fact that my (then) boyfriend and I split – we were the perfect “golden” couple for years but in college we grew apart and split (though we’re still friends and my hubby is a close friend of his). When we had a school reunion this guy went on and on “how come? you were so perfect! I don’t believe it!”. He carried on as if we were Brad Pitt and Jen Aniston. ;)

      • Gina says:

        I was surprised she name dropped Brad and Jen from a decade and change ago. Made me wonder if she had hired a Huvane. It was only a couple years ago she was lauding Brangelina for being Hollywood royalty who does it all…then she drops that line.

        But I guess her point was, ppl on the outside looking in – that don’t know what’s going on, and are ignorant of the relationship, might build it up or envision/imagine it as something it’s not…but they really don’t know. That’s her point. I guess. So I’ll withdraw my side-eye.

    • paleokifaru says:

      I don’t think Jen Garner was trying to paint them as a golden couple. I think the point was a direct comparison to a highly public breakup that people felt invested in at the time. And Jen Garner came off totally relatable to any of her fans that want a reunion by saying she had felt the same about a different big celebrity split.

      • Mia V. says:

        I hope she doesn’t play the pity part forever like Jennifer Aniston did.

      • ann says:

        I do too Mia. All those rebirths and “five years after Brad” was an over the top PR pity party. Heidi handled it with class. It should be interesting how bad Ben gets treated after this. I like Jennifer G and hope she gets on with her life.

    • TheOtherMaria says:

      No disrespect, you’re more hung up on it than her…

      She’s simply saying she can understand public investment because, at one point, she felt that way too.

      Not everything is about Brangelina 😩

      • lisa2 says:

        No it isn’t; but people sure use them in their interviews. I’m sure over these near 11 years there have been many many celebrity breakups and or divorces that she felt the same way about.

        I think the point the poster above simply meant; talk about some other couples for a change of pace

      • Naya says:

        But which other breakups have resonated in the public as much as that one? Brad was one of the biggest movie stars, Jen was star of the biggest TV show. Together they had a clean cut relatable image making them a couple even your dad could root for. I dont know what other couple even comes close to the public investment that was laid on them. They’ll continue to be a break up reference point for a long time to come.

      • Tate says:

        That is exactly how I read it, TheOtherMaria.

      • Shannon says:

        Exactly. That’s how I took it as well; she’s simply saying she relates to people hoping her and Ben get back together because she felt the same at one time. I actually did, too about Brad and Jennifer. That doesn’t mean I do now or that I have any problem with Angelina. *shrug*

    • Bridget says:

      Aren’t you answering your own question there? We’re talking about a marriage that ended more than a decade ago, and yet here you are referencing it as well.

    • Jib says:

      Always with the Brad and Angie. love story of the century. Please….have mercy. Stop. We don’t care.

  2. kerry says:

    The cover photo is super cheesy — her smile reminds me of a high school yearbook photo. Ugh.

    • Esmom says:

      I don’t like it either. From the neck down she looks super sexy but her hair and face are too wholesome beauty pageant.

    • JustJen says:

      She’s such a pretty person, they should have dialed back on the photoshop. A lot.

      • Esmom says:

        Agreed. When you look at the shots of her out with no makeup, she looks so much prettier than their contrived cover look.

    • Gina says:

      That cover is so unattractive. She looks nothing like that – the nose looks long, her eyes are so close together. I thought it was Jennifer Aniston.

    • Sam says:

      It looks so much like a woman who is trying to convince everyone (including herself) that she is fine but inside still feels like she’s dying. Her eyes look sad, although that could be photoshop. This just looks to me like the smile of a very sad woman.

  3. ThisIs40ish says:

    That cover doesn’t even look like her.

    • Kym says:

      Thank you. How is that no one else has mentioned that this looks nothing like her? I certainly would have never guessed if her name wasn’t next to her picture.

  4. InvaderTak says:

    Sure Jan. Jen. I’m over it.

    • Mia4s says:

      Exactly. Oh poor us, our family is on CNN!…so I’ll do a Vanity Fair cover story talking all about my divorce/breakup! That will protect their privacy!…(oh and see my terrible looking movie).

      I get that she’s bitter, she has reason, but only the kids get an ounce of sympathy from me. She’s on a “save my career” run since she will no longer be Mrs. Affleck. I highly doubt it will work.

      • KB says:

        I watch CNN all the time and the only reason her family would be on it would be because of Ben sleeping with the nanny. She needs to find someone as famous as Affleck or she’ll fade back into obscurity.

      • Tiffany :) says:

        If you actually read the interview, she doesn’t sound “bitter” at all. She sounds human and like she is handling it very well. Some of these comments on the other hand…

      • Mia4s says:

        Seriously @Tiffany? You don’t see the passive aggressivness? To be honest I hope I’m right because she’s either bitter or a massive enabler/doormat. At least bitterness shows some respect for herself.

        But for me it’s about the hypocrisy of lamenting your kids’ privacy while discussing your split with their father in a magazine cover story. That takes the cake. And does any of these quotes make someone want to go see her movie? Why? Out of pity for her? It’s not just Garner. Everything an actor/actress tries to sell a project like this I roll my eyes.

      • Marie says:

        Yes, ITA! She is a very manipulative person. And she used the paparazzi for years to rehabilitate Ben’s image and build up both their careers. She carefully orchestrated hundreds of “candid” family photo shoots ever since their children were babies. Lots of shots of them in sweats and t-shirts, getting ice cream, walking the dog, going to the soccer games, library, birthday parties, pottery painting cafe, etc.
        She used this image of their happy family to keep the public and the studios and the sponsors interested and approving. She actively built up their “wholesome” American family brand, IMO so it would keep the adoring fans coming to their movies. I think she probably viewed this as her contribution to his enormous success and his Oscar win. She did this all while complaining about the paparazzi and testifying in front of Congress about family privacy. I don’t think it’s surprising that she mentioned Brad and Jen. I think she saw her marriage as being one of the ultimate Hollywood power couples, and she was a player.

  5. GreenieWeenie says:

    Her quip about the tattoo at the end of the article….haha, that was pretty funny. Was the article fawning? I couldn’t tell. The people she’s close to consistently describe her as really bright. You start to see maybe what brought her and Ben together (since bafflingly, people always describe him as bright too).

    I do think she’s a doormat. She said once that her first marriage failed because she didn’t know how to articulate what she needed. Then again, everyone else seems to think she articulates just fine.

    • Angel says:

      She may have learned to articulate after her first marriage failed, which is why she’s not staying in this one.

      • qwerty says:

        Are you sure it was her choice to end it? I doubt it. She did have another kid with him when it was pretty obvious they were not doing well.

  6. lovemesseg says:

    Jen is really a doormat.

    Here she is waxing poetry over over guy who clearly doesn’t feel the about her.

    I wonder is it worth getting to be with the love of your life but to come to realize you are not his?

    • InvaderTak says:

      Enabler is the term I think would be more appropriate.

    • Christin says:

      This interview does suggest she is never completely letting go of him. The way she describes the sun and the shadow describes the ‘he isn’t that into you’ now. She may think he’s going to eventually reconnect (sun will shine again).

    • Christo says:

      I think you are being unduly harsh on her. When you have the investment of time and CHILDREN, don’t be surprised that many people have it in their mind to try to make things work. There’s never any type of scientific certainly as to when to give up and let go so it should come as no surprise that she kept trying to make things work until one or both chose to end this relationship. I am sorry that she didn’t provide you a self-involved snap of the fingers, take to Twitter/Facebook, and storm off in the manner of the Real Housewives. Fortunately, many people are above those theatrics and histrionics.

  7. JoJo says:

    Lainey infers a lot from this article, as though Garner is brilliantly and subtlety calling Ben out on His sh*#. I wish I could see that, but I don’t.

    I do think she comes across as open, down to earth and sincere – all the reasons why the minivan maj loves her. That said, if you psychoanalyze things like I tend to do, overall this still makes me question whether they’re getting divorced. She never talks about actually divorcing for one thing, and you can be sure the reporter asked when that will happen. Also:

    - Ben is the love of my life – Hiw do either of them move on from that statement? By saying it, she makes him look like an a^*hole if he does, and she doesn’t seem like she wants to.

    - It’s not Ben’s job to make me happy – Why would it be his job anymore, so why even say that? You’re separated and on the path to divorce, right? It sounds more like a revelation from a woman undergoing therapy and trying to take control of her own happiness vs. putting it in the spouse. Like she’s taking responsibility and working on some of her what she perceives as herown issues in the marriage.

    - She totally hedged when asked about dating again. I get that she might not be ready yet, but to me, it still sounds like she wants to date Ben.

    - Ben says I don’t care about the tabloids but I do – Lots of talk about Ben, Ben, Ben and her ongoing relationship with him. She hasn’t let go. And how could she when she’s living on the same property, going on vacations and basically continuing to spend her life with ‘the love of her life.’

    Between the lines, I don’t necessarily see someone who has moved on or wants to. But I think this interview was also calculated in the sense that it will take a lot of heat off of both of them as they go into press interviews for their movies.

    • Mia V. says:

      @Jojo I tried reading with this point of view from Lainey, and while I think she did gave him some sharp criticism, I got the sense the complimenting was bigger. Sure, you don’t wann hurt your kids and lose the MiniVan support, but you don’t have to sound like a doormat ass well. She’s starting to sound more like Jennifer Aniston than Sandra Bullock or even Gwen Stefani, whom, to me, is killing at the same “cheated by the nanny” game.

      • Naya says:

        I wish I could agree. Gwen Stefanis showmance isnt making me think “winner”. She seems so extra desparate to convince her ex and the world that she came out the winner in the affair and when you try that hard, you are clearly not the winner. Both Gavin and Melissa have quietly moved along while she is busy setting up pap shots of video calls. Sad. Its like that Big Sean song, “you are posting up pics thinking its making me sick”, meanwhile nobody gives a ..

      • KB says:

        The compliments were just padding so she could shade him. All the great father stuff is just lead up to the implication that he was a terrible husband. I’m with Lainey. Garner is an evil genius and she knows exactly what she’s doing. I’ve always found her to be a bit heavy handed in her media manipulation with the constant pap walks at the farmer’s market and church, etc. But damn! I gotta respect her game after this article.

      • qwerty says:

        @Naya from what I understand Gwen was with Gavin for like 20 years. And Lainey says she was always always the one who loved more in the relationship, based on her lyrics, completely in love with him from the start while he took his time to commit (and in the end didn’t like we saw with the nanny)… I’d say she’s doing pretty well, it’s still very early on considering how long this relationship lasted. I mean, she’s been with him since her 20s!

    • platypus says:

      Seems like she’s pretty much confirming that she knew about his cheating throughout the marriage, and was OK with it as long as he was discreet and kept it out of the media, and it didn’t affect the children. I don’t think she’s subtly trahing him, rather praising him because she wants him to recover his image enough that they could get back together without a PR shitstorm…

      • Liv says:

        This. I mean even on this site were people talking about his affairs. I bet everyone in the business knew about his cheating…and she did too. I don’t like Garner. It started when she cried us a river about her kids being papped but was parading them around when it suited her. And now her role in the divorce…ugh, she’s manipulative.

      • NewKay says:

        Job- I think the kids getting papped issue was more about Jen and Ben being able to control when and where they get papped. In her mind I’m sure staging pap walks with the kids is fine because it is her prerogative.

    • StormsMama says:

      I love your insight here. I now completely agree with you- I thought maybe Lainey was onto something initially but from your take it makes more sense and especially with all the pr they need to do now. It’s well timed and abe can(and he) can just say”we covered that. No comment” and move forward.
      Yes as you noticed: she is staying with him it seems.

    • Danielle says:

      I wish she was attacking him in a subtle fashion, but I don’t see it either. She still sounds very interesting love with him.

    • Emma - The JP Lover says:

      @JoJo, who wrote: ” Ben is the love of my life – Hiw do either of them move on from that statement? By saying it, she makes him look like an a^*hole if he does, and she doesn’t seem like she wants to.”

      ‘This’ is what I believe Lainey means by Jen calling out Ben on his shite. “Ben is the love of my life” is only rivaled by “Bless your heart!” What better way to passive-aggressively shaft someone nice and deep.

    • Bridget says:

      I haven’t read Lainey’s take on this yet, but I definitely caught some shade from Garner. Not just from ‘I refuse to be rhe ashes’, butalso the way she talks about how it feels when his attention is no longer on you, and the fact that she seems to be subtley acknowledging that he’s totally a cheater. But that being said, I think she really pulled off the interview well. I love that she seems very self reflective and owns her choices. Jennifer Garner was such an asset to Affleck in addition to being his wife, I cannot believe he let her go.

      • paleokifaru says:

        Totally agree Bridget. I read it the same way. And frankly she sounds very relatable in this interview. Not too bitter, angry or self pitying and swinging the other way by taking the full blame. She sounds balanced while throwing subtle, but realistic, shade. Nothing too over the top. I kind of wish she just wouldn’t have said anything until all the chips fall into place for moving forward but I could also see how she might be able to use this as leverage. This really shows Affleck and his team that she can easily help or hurt him. So they better play nice and tow her line.

      • Bridget says:

        I’m actually surprised people disagree that she was giving subtle shade. She certainly didn’t ‘go there’ but she made it clear Ben Affleck isn’t an easy guy to be married to.

      • platypus says:

        She’s still leaving people with a better impression of him than they would have had if she hadn’t said anything, though… By humanizing him, making him sound a whole lot more intriguing, charismatic and intelligent than appearances would have you believe. Whatever her tactic was, that’s the end result, so I’m not sure how succesful she was if her goal was to shade him.

      • Bridget says:

        That supposes that she wants to burn the whole house down behind her. Here it looks like she’s trying to establish her own image/narrative while also continuing to support his – she did put a decade’s worth of work into that project, after all.

        I’ll say it again: she was a great partner to Ben Affleck.

      • Tiffany :) says:

        She seems human, strong and like a survivor in this interview to me. Not an easy balance to achieve, but I think she did it perfectly.

      • VirgiliaCoriolanus says:

        Totally agree Bridget–this is probably one of the best break up interviews I’ve read in a long time……but yea, she’s throwing the most subtle shade I’ve ever seen. She’s definitely not taking the victim route……but yea. I sense a lot of sadness from her.

    • JLo says:

      I remember a Lainey blind a long time ago about a cheater husband and his celebrity wife who considered him brilliant and would never, ever leave him despite his cheating. How she continued to educate herself to stimulate him. And that he wanted out of there but had been warned about disastrous consequences to his image from those around him. Always assumed it was Affleck & Garner even though I’d never heard him described as bright.

      • qwerty says:

        Yep it was very clear that blind was about them.

      • Susan says:

        Your screen name is funny given this convo! Lol. Makes me chuckle.
        But seriously I think you are spot on. Lainey has for many years hinted at his transgressions and JG’s constant forgiveness of him. And while I think he’s an idiot for all that he has f-Ed up in his life over the years, IIRC she has a degree from Denison U (not the easiest school to get into, FWIW) and IVe heard many times he and Matt Damon are actually fairly bright, esp by Hollywood standards. (Personal life choices notwithstanding lol).

    • GreenieWeenie says:

      I read Lainey’s take and she does infer a lot and I don’t always agree with her but…
      when you notice that Lainey is raising her eyebrows at every single thing you raised your eyebrows at?

      I mean, I caught ALL the same shade. And I feel like the writer went to great pains to quote people saying how bright Jennifer is–in other words, that this isn’t just Jen being oblivious and vapid.

      And like I said somewhere else on this thread, I’ve heard Ben described as bright by more than a few people (Goop comes to mind but others too, people were talking about him at one point like he might be a legit political actor). To me, the article shed light on why they might’ve been drawn to each other. So I’m inclined to believe there was intention behind Jen’s words.

      “I refuse to be the ashes.” That is going to be my motto. Haha, I love it.

    • BNA Fn says:

      Didn’t JA said that Brad was the love of her life and She will ALWAYS love him after they broke up? I believe JA said this in her Vanity Fair interview. I’m guessing JG is still in love with BA And Is identifying with JA. Breakup and hoping they will get back together. That maybe the reason they have not divorced as yet, jmo.

      • Susan says:

        Yup. And not to shade JA, but it’s a hell of a lot more complicated when you have THREE LITTLE KIDS with someone and you have to still see them, communicate and somehow move on with your life and not be CONSUMED BY JEALOUSY when he moves on and your kids love the new girlfriend. Painful. In that respect JA had it easy.

      • Goldie says:

        After the divorce, I remember JA saying that she still loved Brad but I don’t think she referred to him as the “love of my life”. Heck, even she was still married, she said that she wasn’t sure if Brad was the love of her life, but rather “A love of my life”.

        That said, I don’t see anything wrong with Jennifer calling Ben the love of her life. They were married for a decade and have 3 children. Of course that’s how she feels right now. Doesn’t mean she won’t eventually meet someone whom she’ll love more than Ben.

  8. Minxx says:

    Sounds to me like she doesn’t really want to divorce him but she has to. She sounds needy and slightly passive-aggresive. Clearly wants him back. I think that doing an interview when this stuff is so fresh is not a very wise idea. She might regret it in the future.

    • paleokifaru says:

      Absolutely. As Jojo said above some of it sounds like therapy revelations. Now that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s couples therapy as I know my husband learned a lot about himself in relationships and took ownership of his first failed marriage through personal therapy. But I also don’t think it’s wise to talk about it so publicly while you’re in the thick of it. If you must then wait to talk until you’re either committed to making it work or you’ve finalized the divorce.

    • lisa2 says:

      I think she is passive aggressive.

      I think she knows how manipulate and get what she wants. I think it worked a long time in their marriage and then it stopped working. I thinks we all have a darker side to us. And Jennifer is not different. She was married to Ben for some time. For most of that time she and he got to paint themselves as the ideal couple. If she did in fact cheat on her first husband with her co Star that would mean she has more to her personality then what she is showing us.

    • Nic919 says:

      She doesn’t talk about his addiction issues, which have got to be a role in the marriage break up. I can believe they were separated before the nanny happened but were pretending to be together because that worked for both their careers…. Until they couldn’t pretend anymore when the nanny stuff was made public.
      She doesn’t sound bitter in this interview even though the press has actual evidence of Ben cheating while still married as compared to Jen Aniston who kept up the pretence that Brad cheated on her during the filming of Mr and Mrs Smith, which has never been confirmed.
      And she has three kids with him, which is a forever link. She can’t trash the father of her kids in the press and not hurt her kids.

      Jen Garner is playing the press much better … Well except that cover, which is okay but not great.

    • Ana says:

      I don’t think she is passive aggressive or a doormat. She has to play smart; she has three kids with this man. You cannot be all out there kicking ass when you have 3 little innocent people in the equation. She did the best she could. IMHO.

    • Pepper says:

      She obviously doesn’t want to divorce him. Ben was putting on a public show of how miserable he was and what a wreck he was for 4-5 years before they pulled the plug. Barely hiding his cheating, very openly drinking and gambling, clearly getting high a lot (including at work events), admitting in interviews that he was barely involved in family life and that the whole marriage was kind of a drag. His MO is getting women to dump him, even he’s admitted that, and it took her years. She had a baby with him during this time.

      Even J.Lo put up with him for less than six months when he started in on this behavior, and as we’ve seen recently, she’ll put up with a lot.

    • Tiffany :) says:

      “Sounds to me like she doesn’t really want to divorce him but she has to”

      Does anyone really WANT their marriage to fall apart?

  9. CidySmiley says:

    You know what? I actually have a lot of respect for Jen. Because I think I can understand what she’s saying. It’s hard to love someone who is selfish, and that’s what Ben is. I think she really loved him, and I think she was the one who ultimately had to make the painful decision to separate, because I think Ben would have leeched off of her for the rest of his life. I also know that as a mother, oftentimes you find yourself explaining things that you shouldn’t have too, for the lack of the other parent. I think that she knew that Ben wasn’t the best of people, but she loved him and she tried to fix him, and that never works. So kudos to you Jen!

    • vauvert says:

      I really liked this interview. It felt very honest and raw. I can easily imagine sitting down and talking with a girlfriend going through divorce and that is exactly what a smart, accomplished, loving woman would sound like.
      When you have been married for ten years and have three kids with a man, why does admitting that he was the live of your life make you “needy”? Why is taking your time before dating a bad thing? So often I read about celebs hooking up with a new person two hot seconds after another relationship ended and I’m thinking WTF? She actually comes across as a person with real feelings. Why should she regret her marriage? It is who she is, and was. Life is not a romance novel. People get hurt, they need time to heal. Separation doesn’t mean you cancel all the love you had.
      Anyway, this increased my respect for her. No trash talk. No meanness. Just a quiet dignity.

      • Jayna says:

        I so agree with everything you said.

        And as far as not dating yet, for each person it’s different. I think if an amazing man came into her life that she had chemistry with she would have been open to dating. But for her that didn’t happen. Just dating for the sake of it would make her very depressed and missing him more.

      • HappyMom says:

        I completely agree with you. I don’t see Lainey’s comments that she was somehow “sticking it to him” but as someone who is thoughtful, intelligent and wants the best for her children-which includes not trashing their father in public.

      • I really liked this interview as well—one of the best “break up” interviews I’ve read. I think she comes across as a PARENT, first and foremost.

      • Esmom says:

        Yes, well said.

      • Naya says:


      • I Choose Me says:

        Yes! to everything you said.

    • Bettyrose says:

      Agreed. The haven’t been kissed in eight months comment is so sad and telling. She’s not ready to move on, while Ben hits the strange whenever he feels like it. I don’t doubt he’s often the funniest, most interesting guy in the room, and it’s cold when he takes his warm glow away. She knew who he was the whole time, but still craved his love. It happens. Whereas, I always thought JA’s issue was craving the power couple status.

      • Jayna says:

        I think the beginning years of their marriage were probably quite wonderful. Ben was clean, no alcohol, no drugs. He was driven to get his career back and very focused, head down working hard bit by bit to put it back together and gain respect in the industry with smaller acting parts and also directing and writing. He had his first child, which I’m sure was a beautiful time for them. He and Jen were a team. She was his emotional support and I think he loved her and thought he could be this man, settled down, his demons on lockdown, maybe permanently they both believed, because he was so focused. He was at his best as an underdog because he was s focused, and I think his family was a huge part of that for him. He has said Jen was one of the few that believed in him back then when wanting to direct. I think those years were very happy for them.

        As his star became more established and his career as a director on very sure footing, many of his demons were back. I don’t think she’s referring to infidelity as the biggest demon. I think he probably cheated far less than people on here are always throwing around. I don’t know when he started drinking again, but I really noticed it during Argo. I’m sure it was way before that, and I imagine his addiction issues were a far bigger issue in their marriage because it leads to whole host of problems as a couple. His workload was massive.

        Ben wanted out, but I don’t think he knew how to get out. He had a wonderful human being for a wife, who loved him so much that she wouldn’t let him go easily. I don’t think he’s a bad guy and I think he just didn’t love her to the degree she loved him. He had children he adored and who adored him and to watch pain in their faces, I imagine he couldn’t take and so tried to make his round self fit into the square box and stay in their marriage. And did that exacerbate his demons, him feeling so boxed in with this marriage, and they reared their ugly head more than before, or did the demons destroy the marriage? Who knows.

      • Esmom says:

        I don’t think the “not being kissed in 8 months” is sad and telling at all. I don’t think she was complaining, just bringing it up because it must be weird to do a kissing scene when that kind of intimacy isn’t a priority at the moment. She’s focused on her kids right now and, while I get not everyone takes their time in moving on, I think it would be worrisome if she was already in a relationship with another guy.

      • MrsBPitt says:

        I totally agree with you all…I have loved someone, that didn’t love me the same way…it is hard to let go…it breaks your heart…Not everyone is tough enough to immediatley say “get out”, especially, when children are involved. I think people should give Jen a break…

      • bettyrose says:

        Esmom – What I mean by “sad” is that she hasn’t been kissed in eight months, after building a life with a man, having three children with him. Obviously she could have sex any time she wants, but affection and intimacy take much longer to achieve, so it’s a very raw, honest thing to confess, that her first moment of “intimacy” in 8 months is on screen.

      • Emma - The JP Lover says:

        @Jayna, who wrote: “As his star became more established and his career as a director on very sure footing, many of his demons were back. I don’t think she’s referring to infidelity as the biggest demon. I think he probably cheated far less than people on here are always throwing around.”

        I just flashed back to the rumors about Ben and Blake Lively during filming of “The Town.” Jen suddenly decided to make a surprise trip to Boston to visit her husband on set. That was in 2010.

        Now Im flashing back to Kevin Smith saying that Ben called him and said he’d just gotten a BJ from Elektra and how Jen didn’t like Kevin because she thought he was a bad influence on Ben.

        I guess what I’m saying is that I think Ben is very much who he has always been and that Jen knew that going in.

      • Jayna says:

        @Emma, how could she make a surprise visit to Boston? She said in an interview that the whole family lived there during that shoot,

      • Emma - The JP Lover says:

        @Jayna, who wrote: “@Emma, how could she make a surprise visit to Boston? She said in an interview that the whole family lived there during that shoot,”

        Jennifer G. was filming “Valentine’s Day” in Los Angeles during the same time Ben was filming “The Town” in Boston and both films were released in 2010. Jen split her time between the two cities and the girls traveled back and forth with her … so for blocks of time Ben was in Boston on his on. Here is a September 2009 “Popsugar” Ben-Blake photo spread from and article titled “Ben and Blake Bond Behind the Scenes.”

        “Ben Affleck and Blake Lively were busy filming The Town Monday in Boston, but yesterday afternoon was more relaxed as the duo chatted between takes. Things back in NYC are proceeding as usual with Gossip Girl for Blake’s costars, while Ben’s wife Jennifer Garner logged some time on the set of Valentine’s Day in LA. Jennifer wrapped up work on her own movie and headed to LAX with Violet and Seraphina, perhaps making the trek to see Ben doing his thing on the East Coast.”

    • Coconut says:

      I agree with @CidySmiley et al. JG comes across as thoughtful and strong and having been in a lot of pain. I was married for 10 years. Even though my ex-husband wasn’t the love of my life, we had had good times, we had a son, and I didn’t want to be divorced. Even though I finally did have to leave–after trying every conceivable behavior modification on my own part and as part of couples therapy, I just could no longer take the brutal atmosphere any longer. Two years out, my sister in law confirms that my ex is still mad at me for leaving–and he’s engaged–and he is a f___ing jackass to me most of the time, but if he changed back overnight to the friendly, reasonable guy I used to know, I would be friendly back to him, mostly for the sake of our son. Does that make me a doormat, or does that make me resilient, human, kind, strong?

    • Original T.C. says:

      I hate that Ben has gone on with his pitty party of revisionist history for so long that it’s presented as a fact that he was some underdog victim of the press and J.Lo. He was a wiling participant and the average non-White male would have long since been kicked out of Hollywood. Along with that is Jennifer Gardner’s own revisionist history of picking some vulnerable good guy.

      Gardner hooked up with and married a douchebag who cheated on his fiancé by having unprotected sex with a stripper and publicly humiliating her. Not to add that he cheated on Goop too. She ignored all this and deliberately had unprotected sex with him (gross), married him with sound mind and even after the marriage was on the rocks still chose to bring the last child into this hot mess.

      Being in love with someone is not an excuse to keep making one stupid mistake after the other or believe that you are more special that J.lo or Goop. I hate when fellow women use this as an explanation. It’s the equivalent of saying I was temporarily insane for 10 years and not of sound mind or judgement. Women were given the same brain as men. We are not victims of our emotions otherwise we would not be able to manage businesses or be trusted to run an entire country. If she cared about her children first and not her self she would have stopped making babies with this douchebag.

      • Naya says:

        I dont know. If you believe people are incapable of learning from their pasts and chosing to be better human beings, then yes to all the above. On the other hand, if you think people can grow then life becomes riskier but also potentially more rewarding. We dont know what heart-to-hearts they had about his past. He may have shrugged it off or he may have sobbed his heart out trying to understand why he has this pattern. Plenty of people change as they age. It would really sad if we solely relied on a persons past to decide whether we related with them or not.

        In any case, I think one of the points of this interview is to eliminate cheating as a cause. Perhaps sleeping with other women doesnt constitute a betrayal to her. Perhaps they even had an explicitly open arrangement for him to get his rocks off. This interview does tell us that her real problem was not “cheating” but the passive aggressive cold shoulder we all suspected he used to give her. “He casts a heavy shadow”.

    • Pinetree13 says:

      I agree. I think she is genuinely a nice person. People are way too critical of her and seem to expect her to behave like a ‘perfect person’. Well newsflash none of us are perfect and we shouldn’t hold her to such an impossible measuring stick.

    • Priya says:

      I like Jen better for calling Ben out. She needs to get laid by a genuinely good guy.

  10. Colette says:

    According to Krista Smith,the lady who interviewed Jennifer, their marriage was over BEFORE they even hired the nanny.Krista was interviewed on ET last night .So they were separated for months before they went public.Also Jennifer laughed when Krista mentioned the Ricky Gervais joke about Ben being unfaithful.After she laughed,she gave the ,”People have pain….”answer about people mocking him.

    • Chris says:

      What I don’t understand (and maybe I am incorrect on the timeline) is when she says they were split months before the nanny scandal happened. Then she says she hasn’t been kissed in 8 months and I assume she means by him-but the nanny drama only happened 8 months ago so to me it doesn’t sound like they were broken up months before that happened.

      • Elizabeth says:

        I took the 8 months comment to mean that, when she was filming the movie she was talking about, she hadn’t been kissed for 8 months. I think that movie was filmed around Nov-Dec last year, which fits better with the timeline.

      • Chris says:

        Thanks Elizabeth. That makes sense.

  11. Jayna says:

    I read the full interview in Vanity Fair I thought it was a great interview and that she was more honest than most celebs interviewed about a divorce, which I found refreshing. I think she conveyed a lot of dignity, honesty, humor, pain, insight. I love the cover.

    • JoJo says:

      Jana – As always, I totally agree with your timeline and assessment of their relationship a few comments back. What do any of us really know, but it’s kind of my view too, and I don’t fault either one of them in the long run. I’ve been in relationships where he didn’t love me like I loved him, so I get it.

      That said, what gets me is that I do think there’s a manipulative side to her, and that by itself is totally fine. As someone above said, we ALL have a darker side, but I feel like that whole super-sweet persona actually is part of her darker side. She strikes me as someone who uses those traits to guilt and manipulate, and that bugs me. :)

      I’m not quite sure if making a statement like “He IS the love of my life” can be chalked up to her simply being honest. Of course, I totally believe she feels that way, but I also think she’s incredibly savvy, and by putting that statement out there into the world 9 months after their public split, she knew exactly what she was doing. She didn’t sound like someone letting go to me. She sounded like someone still very much in limbo. She knew saying those words would have a massive impact, since they are now the headline for about 100 other articles across the web. I think she is still unsure and leaving the door open for a reunion. Or, she is sort of guilting him – a tactic I’m guessing was fairly common in their dynamic – because how does she or he gracefully move on with someone else with that kind of statement. And I can’t help but think that’s possibly the desired effect here – keeping her stake in the ground

  12. Alex says:

    I do t know how to feel about the interview. On the one hand I like it because there are several moments where she throws appropriate shade (Bless Your Heart lololol) on the other hand it could read needy considering she always sticks up for him. She enables him for sure and I think she needs to break herself of that.
    I’m not mad at the “love of her life” comment. It’s her truth (or what she believes) and that has nothing to do with anyone but her.
    The interview is a mixed bag for me but maybe if she files for divorce soon I’ll read it again and see how I feel

    • Crumpet says:

      Not trashing him out right, is not ‘sticking up’ for him. Remember, he is the father of her children. If she trashes him, it hurts them. Big time. She is being a good mom, first and foremost. Kudos to her.

  13. perplexed says:

    This was an honest interview about her love for Ben — maybe too honest. Yikes.

    Hopefully she doesn’t date another actor next so that he’s not asked about Ben being the love of her life.

    • Nancy says:

      @perplexed….she has to say he was the love of her life for the sake of her children. They will read all about it some day. Hopefully the true love of her life is out there waiting for her. You know the one that knows the meaning of fidelity.

      • perplexed says:

        Fair enough.

        She genuinely loves him, and she clears up that she simply didn’t marry him for his A-list status (as others like to say), but her sustaining, enduring love for him is a bit baffling to me nonetheless.

      • lisa2 says:

        I don’t think she had to use the words “Love of my life” for her children. That doesn’t make sense; regardless of them reading that one day. She could have said simply he is the father of my children; and as such I will always love him. She didn’t need to make that statement. I find it very telling that she did.

    • Bettyrose says:

      The best advice for any actress is don’t date actors.

  14. paolanqar says:

    Is it me or this article doesn’t clear the air one bit?
    I don’t know if she’s serious or super cynical and sarcastic. Or both.
    a serious ‘wtf???’ is in order.

  15. Nancy says:

    Looks to me like someone is trying to get her man back. They were separated when he banged the nanny or on break like Ross and Rachel, lol. I agree way back in the day when Aniston said Pitt was lacking a sensitivity chip. He dumped her for another women and then flaunted it in that magazine with the faux family pix with he and his true love. Most men lack that same chip, but I hated him after that. Ben is a player, Garner should realize that, she’d be a fool to take him back.

    • Colette says:

      I had respect and empathy for Jennifer Aniston until you hooked up with Justin,who was living with Heidi.I thought when they took those “couple ” pics and let Terry Richardson post them… Very tacky and petty,but I guess Jennifer and Justin were missing a sensitive chip as well.

      As for Jennifer Garner, maybe she is more forgiving because of her past.Didn’t she cheat on an ex? Also I’m sure she was aware of Ben cheating on J Lo and Gwyneth.

    • Dayna says:

      Oh just like fame hungry Justin dumped Heidi for Jen? And then those two flaunted their relationship in those Richardson photos days later?
      Aniston lacks a sensitivity chip herself. Claiming her dead ex(who had a family) sent her Justin!!

      At least B&A were promoting their blockbuster film. Jen & Justin were just promoting themselves.

    • lisa2 says:

      I don’t get that.. how was it flaunting; it was for a spread related to a movie about a marriage. Beside that how would they have been able to predict that they would still be together at the end of the film promotion and have a family. Aniston knew about the magazine shoot. Not like these things happen over night. Photoshoots and interviews happen MONTHS before a movie is released.

      At some point grown people need to realize that you don’t nor will you ever know what happens fully in another’s relationship. It takes 2 people to make and break a marriage.

      and one of the posters above that said everything is not about the JPs.. then people should stop making it about them

    • Boo says:

      Jen Garner is also a player.

      That’s why this interview reads as confusing to some perhaps. She’s full of player speak. She and Ben were and are the same sort of asshole.

      She treated Scott Foley like dirt and she’s getting what she deserves except it’s lost on her because she doesn’t think it’s a bad thing to be or treat people that way. Apparently. See the above interview.

      Ugh. I can’t stand. her.

  16. Freddy Spaghetti says:

    That’s some magnificent shade about his weird back tattoo.

  17. roses says:

    It seems she got some inspiration in describing him from the Talented Mr. Ripley LOL. Anyways I think she handled the interview as best as she could under the circumstances. He will also be out promoting his film soon so there will be plenty of Ben & Jen headlines in the coming weeks.

  18. Tania says:

    Can I just say that posts on a Saturday are a huge treat! Thank you CB!!!

  19. Eden75 says:

    I just read this this morning out of morbid curiosity because, to be honest, she drives me nuts. That said, I can understand where she’s coming from. I fell for a guy who was a selfish douche as well. They are easy to love when they are focused on you but as soon as you bore them, or they imagine you bore them, they focus elsewhere and you keep on loving them hoping they will come back. She’s right about it being a cold lonely place. I don’t regret being with him, I just wish I had realized it sooner. If they actually don’t file for divorce, I can’t say that I would judge her for it. If he decides to focus on nothing but her again, it will be hard for her to go.

    I never thought that I would agree with her on anything, but she is right there. Oh, and on him being intelligent, that he is. Got to met him once and he is extremely smart, charming and smooth. I have no doubt that she is intelligent as well. People like him (the cold, smooth douche’s who are smart) don’t stay with the dumb ones for long. Those are just arm fluff.

    • mee says:

      he doesn’t strike me as smart at all, but i imagine he must be at least reasonably intelligent to have been a good director. he just seems so bland and fratboyish to me.

      • Naya says:

        She isnt the first person to say that he is usually the smartest person in a room, both Damon and Kevin Smith have said pretty much the same thing. Also either Goop or Jlo (possibly both). It kinda comes across in the DVD commentaries too.

    • lila fowler says:

      How long was he really “with” her though? Their marriage was 10 years but we all know that he was gambling and drinking and cheating for much of that. I think he didn’t leave her because of the kids and wanting to do the right thing, not because he ever really was in love wtih her. She always seemed much more into him than he ever was with her.

      • Ash says:

        That’s my impression of their marriage. It seems to have been mostly one-sided when you don’t factor in their kids.

      • Magnoliarose says:

        Yes x1000. Back when they became an item it was always about how much their relationship was very one sided. He has never been faithful and she has always known what he was. I also find her Earth Mama pap strolls extremely tiresome.

      • Eden75 says:

        I was just commenting on how she could have stayed. I get it. I however find her schtick extremely annoying as well.

  20. Ann says:

    Sounds like the classic marriage: the women is so much more heavily invested in the relationship than the man, carries the bulk of the child rearing responsibilities while the man mostly lives like he’s single. Not sure why so many women prioritize a man for whom they are nothing but an (easily replaced) option. Not my cup of tea but whatever floats your boat.

  21. frivolity says:

    She’s pathetic and so careful and calculating. Why do people think she’s being honest now when she was so dishonest throughout their whole “perfect” marriage?

    Like so many people in lalaland, she seems to confuse genuine love with infatuation, I think, and confuses the reality of romance with the fantasy that Hollywod produces. (“I ran down the beach to him”? Seriously?!?)

    Oh, and she and he are not nearly as clever as they think they are.

    • Original T.C. says:

      He is a narcissist and she is obsessed with him. He will always come first and her children second. There is nothing healthy about modeling a dysfunctional marriage to two young girls who will grow up to consider it “normal love”.

      • Magnoliarose says:

        I thought this too and then putting it in print! No child needs ever to know these details about their parents marital problems. Ever.

  22. babs says:

    She fell in love with a very ego-centric man. That can only mean that she’s going to feel left out emotionally at certain points. It doesn’t mean she made a wrong choice. The heart wants what the heart wants and she learned a whole lot about herself along the way.

  23. Larelyn says:

    Questions about Narcissistic Personality Disorder and the “‘When his sun shines on you, you feel it.’ But when the sun is shining elsewhere, it’s cold. He can cast quite a shadow” quote.

    This jumps right out at me. In an earlier thread about Kimye, someone said Kanye has NPD and Kim’s ego can’t handle the third stage of a relationship with NPD person. So, I looked up the stages, and the quote completely covers stage one and stage three. Does Ben Affleck fit NPD symptoms?

    • frivolity says:

      Well, that quotation is from The Talented Mr. Ripley, in which the protagonist of whom she speaks is a psychopath. Could Ben be one? Perhaps. He’s most definitely a narcissist. But then again, so is Jen.

    • Ash says:

      Tom Ripley and Dickie Greenleaf were (kind of) two sides of the same coin. And Gwyneth’s character, Marge, is the one who says that line about Dickie.

      • nn says:

        I guess she sees herself as Marge and Ben as Dickie, the nice looking fratty boy who is charming and intelligent and whom everyone loves, even boys.

  24. Who ARE these people? says:

    Most brilliant person in any room, eh?

    What about when Barack Obama walks in?
    What about when any of hundreds of the world’s top scientists and mathematicians walk in?
    What about when Yo Yo Ma walks in?
    What about when Elon Musk walks in?

    She sets a low bar in a low-bar town.

    • Esmom says:

      Well, yeah. I don’t think she was trying to imply he’s the biggest genius in the world, I think she was putting him in the context of their bubble, which is indeed a pretty low bar town.

      • Who ARE these people? says:

        He was probably the most brilliant person in the room when that nanny walked in! Wink.

    • BendyWindy says:

      Brilliant doesn’t only mean intelligent/book smart. I think she meant it in the way that he’s got the “it” factor that just draws people in. Brad Pitt has been described the same way…that the energy in a room changes when he enters it.

      • Jayna says:

        Yeah, but she’s mentioned before how intelligent Ben. He’s very well read on all matter of subjects. I’ve read many interviews with Ben that show how intelligent he is that cover a wide variety of subjects and that he is an inquisitive man, and there’s more to him than meets the eye. He’s not brilliant, though. I think, in her mind, he is brilliant. She adored him.

        I’m sure he is probably also one of those guys that has the “it” factor in a room, like you said, and as was mentioned by somebody on here that met him at an event. When he wants to turn it on, he can, and be very charming I imagine.

      • Jayna says:

        Kate Beckinsale is single now. I wonder if she and Ben might have a reunion, but this time not professionally but romantically.

  25. Marty says:

    Whew, this article should be archived and studied just on a gossip and PR standpoint. She was able to slyly criticize him and elevate herself at the same time, this piece is damn near flawless.

  26. MellyMel says:

    Yes! As a Southerner anytime someone uses the phrase “Bless his (or her) heart the way it was meant to be used (full of glorious passive aggressive shade), my day is made!

  27. Miran says:

    “I refuse to be the ashes”

    Yes. Nothing he does or did is your fault so dont even feel guilty for a second.

    • Ana says:

      I had to look up the meaning of umbrage. Lol!

      I love the interview. There were a lot of quotes on there. She is really smart and very insightful. On another note, intellectually smart people are not smart when it comes to loving someone. But she mentioned that she kept her eyes wide in this marriage. A lot of hidden meanings too. The article was pretty sad and even men tweeted yesterday that it broke their hearts.

      All the best to her and her kids.

  28. Amelie says:

    I remember Jennifer got knocked up very early in her relationship to Ben. They’d barely been dating 6 months when rumors started circulating–it was easy to do the math because I was a huge Alias fan at the time and always blamed Ben’s sperm for ruining Alias haha. They didn’t have much time as a couple before Violet came along. I think Jen was thrilled to be a mother and start a family. Ben may have liked it at first but going suddenly from single man to father in the course of a year must have been hard. He’s always loved to gamble and drink and those two things don’t fit in very well with fatherhood and being a family man.

    I do think drawing this separation thing out is a bit tedious. This whole we are putting the kids first–the kids know what is happening. I dunno if having their parents still semi together is confusing but it does make Jen and Ben both look like door mats for not filing for divorce.

  29. lila fowler says:

    So who still thinks that she wants him back? Who thinks that they will reconcile?

    • JoJo says:

      I don’t think she’s over him, and I’m certainly not above thinking she would still reconcile. As I’ve said before, I don’t think the ball is in her court even now. She might have the upper hand in terms of her public image at this moment in time, but when you want someone that badly, you never really have the upper hand. If she really wanted to get over him and past him, I don’t think they would spend as much time together as they do. There is no need for her to be with the kids every time they see Ben. You can’t move on like that, especially not if you’re still viewing that person as the love of your life. I don’t buy that it’s just for the kids. If they’re really working towards splitting, then the kids will ultimately need to get used to a lot more solo outings with each parent and eventually other partners. They seem completely resistant to acclimating their kids to a new normal.

      • Kate says:

        It is beyond me why she was ever interested in him in the first place. I don’t think he’s particularly attractive or talented, and when you factor in all his unhealthy vices and poor decision making, well…yuck.

  30. LadyNoName says:

    Lainey implied some bigger agenda and I do believe that Jennifer is very aware of her image and isn’t steering away from criticising him.

    But at the same time, this also oozes real and raw emotion and is heartbreakingly sad. We used to get a lot of gossip and blind items about how she would always admire him and take up online courses to be an interesting wife to him, so I believe she really believes that Ben is one of the most brilliant people she has ever met.

    All in all, most of what she rings true because is actually fitting the observations and rumours over the year. She loves/loved him and WHEN he can be bothered to be nice to her and spend quality time with her, it’s probably the best feeling in the world – because some people have this je ne sais quois going, if they can be bothered to spend time with a person, they set off a warm and fuzzy feeling. At the same time, it’s the worst feeling to be at the receiving end of their silence and impatience. They make you question yourself and how worthy you and what you have to say are. I don’t think she’s perfect herself, but I totally get her and it’s a very sad feeling.

  31. lila fowler says:

    I think it’s …odd that she’d tell the world that Ben is the love of her life. That’s going to make dating and getting remarried interesting.

  32. Lola says:

    I think it’s a decent article and she is being careful that what she says about her kid’s father comes out in a good way for her children’s sake. With the internet, etc she is protecting them.
    There is shade, but she does it elegantly, and I have no clue if this is accurate but I did read that in W. Virginia (aparently she is from there, did not know) Blessed his heart it’s a polite way to say F. U. Lol!

  33. Zaytabogota says:

    He sounds from her description like the type of man who is intensely charismatic and attentive when he’s trying to make you fall in love with him but once he has you in love and devoted, he has no interest in looking your way. He would be more suited to a woman who doesn’t do adoring except when he has worked hard to earn it, someone who is not obsessively focused on him and someone who is detached, independent and colourful enough maintain his interest.

    She sounds like she’s not over him, calling him the love of her life isn’t particularly appealing to potential dates, she has had more than enough time to move on and she should. Tbh, she comes across as quite passive aggressive, obsessive and controlling, with the sweetest coating. Maybe I’m wrong on that, he often comes across as passive aggressive in interviews too but in a narcissistic, oblivious to others, douchey way.

    • Boo says:

      Agree with your assessment of both of them.

      It’s a bit terrifying the slick, mean, destructive veneer – going to any lengths – which hides behind some attractive faces. From reading this, if I were Ben, I’d know i’ll never be free of her manipulations and projections.

      They’re both disturbing to me.

    • GreenieWeenie says:

      seriously. I think you need time to really process what you thought was the love of your life. Sometimes an event happens and you just see everything differently. Other times you never really see it differently but ultimately, if the guy is unhappy married to you–he isn’t the love of your life! There really ISN’T enough love between you to sustain a marriage! And that’s life…marriage takes two–two ppl have to be in love. One person can’t have enough for both. You can be intensely in love with someone but if he doesn’t love you equally back, he just isn’t the love of your life.

  34. Therese says:

    She is in the movie business, and so is Ben. They have struck an agreement, and come to some terms, probably not to harm the other too much. That being said. I think she loved him, she was the lover in this union. I think she was hurt and sad. Then one of the next steps in grieving is anger, which she probably has plenty of. If you go to a magazine and give an interview, when you don’t have to, there is a reason. I don’t care how this interview looks, there is a reason for it, and the many and varied feelings that it engenders in the readers: it was intended to do so. There are reasons for actions, and she had reasons for giving this interview, and it was carefully thought out beforehand, and masterfully crafted. That doesn’t mean her feelings weren’t genuine, but this interview was crafted.

    I also thought that she is careful not to condemn him as a cheater in so many words: she is careful how she says things, because she doesn’t want anyone to come back and say, wait a minute, didn’t you cheat on your first husband? She has an image to maintain. Part of her going forward is to become more involved in movies, and movies are about image. She is playing the game and using press as manipulation. This interview is more about her than about Ben. This is rebuilding the Jen image and a springboard. Me thinks.

    • roses says:

      Agree with this. They share an agent Patrick Whitesell so yeah I can believe a strategy was involved but at least to me anyway she is playing the game somewhat well she’s not coming off as the victim. She isn’t the first to do this type of interview there’s been others plus remember Hollywood is about the illusion.

    • Diane says:

      I do think the timing and the open answers to the questions everyone wants to ask have a lot to do with the upcoming press tours for both. It takes the edge off. The strong emotions evoked will likely dissuade interviewers from going to what is clearly a very painful area. It sets up those interviews to be more light hearted and stay away from very sensitive areas. It works for both of them. She took one for the team, but also gets the benefit of a reboot to her image, plus what could Ben have said that would have anything close to this result. I do think it was honest and heartfelt. It just had to be done for them to be free to do the press they need to do. It was probably quite cathartic for her too.

  35. Spinach says:

    She’s genuine and I still like her. Very boring actress but I will always like her, though I’ll never know what she ever saw in Ben Affleck.

  36. Zan says:

    I loved the phrase “terrible-looking faith-based glurge movie”. Wonderful. Seems pretty spot-on from previews I’ve seen.

  37. JoJo says:

    She is a presenter at the Oscars tomorrow. If they arrive or leave or walk the carpet together, there’s just no way it can be explained away by ‘for the kids’ or ‘he’s happy for Jen and is just supporting her.’

    • hmmm says:

      Not going to happen…no walking the carpet together with these two.
      Based on how grumpy Mr Perfect Ben looked Friday eve and the denial (divorce is still on) posted onGossip Cop this morning I’d say poor Sam’s birthday party wasn’t fun for the adults yesterday.

  38. Goodnight says:

    Using ‘bless your heart’ as a ‘fuck you’. Classic southern/fundie move.

    Not to say people don’t use it genuinely, but that’s not the case here. Context is important.

  39. khaveman says:

    Ben sounds like an addict and a cold SOB when he decides he is over it. 3 kids? All those years? Takes two in a marriage, but the man seems low-class. He just wants to get laid. He gives me the creeps the same way Leo does. She’s smart to move on if she can.

  40. LAK says:

    Never explain, Never complain.

    Something celebrities never learn.

    And clearly this Jen never learnt the lesson of the other Jen despite being obsessed by that car wreck of a divorce.

    • BNA Fn says:

      I never forget how he cheated on Jlo. JG knew that he was a cheater as she said, “don’t worry – my eyes were wide open during my marriage …”. She will get no sympathy from me. Jlo, yes, I believe she was blind sided by BA affairs.

  41. Pmnichols says:

    I think she handled it well. I don’t mind the interview. People are going to dissect it but I think she was honest and clear. No one needs all the details. What happened between them is just that, between them. The kids are what matter most and we’ve all loved someone that we can’t explain why. I like that she spoke of the good in him. Bashing is never necessary.

  42. rhiley says:

    Ben reminds me of Jax from Vanderpump Rules.

  43. mj says:

    other than somewhat similarly timed fame… what are tavi and kendall doing in that sentence?

  44. susie says:

    am I the only one that noticed the plastic bags? 2016?!?!

  45. Diane says:

    So it has been buzzing my brain what is the significance of using that movie quote. I don’t think it was a coincidence. I understand it was said by Gwyneth Paltrow. Then I noticed just before that Jen said Ben is a complicated guy and it occurred to me that was also a Gwyneth quote. She said it in the same interview where she said Bens perfect woman is a stripper with beer. I think there is a lot of underlying stuff in this article that is very cleverly buried.
    Also, I have another speculation about the reason she did this. I have questioned whether the Montana trip with the Brady’s really happened. There were no photos of the Afflecks. Whatever if it did, but I also think Ben is the one who has been inferring a reunite in an attempt to build a better image before his movie. I do think there is still a problem there as I’ve seen a lot of hate still on Twitter. Did Jennifer decide to shut down that stuff by coming forward with what I still think is a real and honest interview, though perhaps with a few hidden references to say what she can’t say outright?

    • lisa2 says:

      There are recent pictures of her and Ben with the two youngest kids eating lunch.

      She is playing games. If she was really ready to let this go then it would be over. She is holding on for some reason; maybe a power move. And no please stop saying it is to protect the kids. Why have your kids live a lie when the truth the family unit is no going to be what it use to be. I really think if Ben wanted her back she would go.

  46. Kate says:

    I have never, ever, and will never, ever, understand the attraction of Ben Affleck. I find him so-so at acting, and directing-wise, the same.

    For Jennifer Garner to call him “the most brilliant person in any room”…I just can’t. I don’t see it, I don’t get it. There are millions of brilliant people in the world who I think outshine him by far. And if he’s so brilliant, why isn’t he curing cancer or writing the next great American novel or ridding third world countries of curable diseases?

    I just. Don’t. Get. It.

    Move on, girl!

    • Marie says:

      Thank you! Affleck is a narcissist and a douche who believes he can do and say whatever he wants. He is very talented in the area of directing but that’s it, he’s not a good actor and he looks like what he is: a smug self serving frat boy. His interviews prove his ignorance and lack of education, especially on the Bill Maher show, during which he was manic and obviously on a coke high and got into a shouting, name calling fit because he was too dumb to understand the concepts.
      Jen knew he was an addict and a cheater and she still chased him. I think she is like many people who get involved with narcissists: they believe the hype, they become infatuated and they also believe they can manipulate them, and they can. Narcissists need constant approval and attention. Jen used that need to manipulate Ben and became his number one fan. I think over the years all her manipulations no longer worked and he used his addictions to cope and then to leave the marriage. I see her as the ultimate Hollywood sorority girl. She climbed up the marriage ladder to the alpha male and paraded her lifestyle as the A-list mom and family to the tabloids. But it crumbled on her. Ben made sure that happened in a very messy, public way. Now she is using the situation to seek the public’s sympathy and attention and keep her image and career going. I believer her when she says she is taking care of herself.

  47. BNA Fn says:

    OT: just heard on tv, David Duke endorsed Donald Trump. The reporter on CNN news asked Donald if he wanted to disavowed the endorsement? . DONALD T said he does not know enough about DD so he has no opinion about who he is. Is DT American? I just smh in disbelief .

  48. JoJo says:

    DM just published a story with them out to dinner last night with the kids. The Vanity Fair story was done with Jen months ago, something acknowledged by a Gossip Cop article today. I mean really, the togetherness thing is beyond ridiculous at this point. I don’t care what anyone says – when you are divorcing the “love of your life.” you need time and space, not togetherness. While there might’ve a desire to hang on, if you’re really committed to trying to move on, you can’t help each other do that. You have to do it yourself. It’s all BS at this point. I really don’t believe they’re splitting. I think they’re a mess.

    • Jayna says:

      I saw those photos. I think they are 100 percent over and have been for a long time. She did the interview months ago and said she hadn’t kissed a man for eight months before that. They are over, for sure. Ben wants out. I think he just follows her lead in how she wants this to go down regarding the kids and how they interact as a family still.

      I think at times they eat together as a family, I”m sure at Jen’s prompting. He didn’t want to be there this day. That’s for sure. I don’t think Ben’s sun was shining on Jen in those photos. LOL

      He looked in a bad mood and that she dragged him out. I think he knows this article brings back on scrutiny to them, and wanted her to go into less detail about running down the beach to him, love of my life, on and on.. And while she praised him at times, she also let it be known he took the marriage down, and she went further with the he’s the love of my life, etc. She once said a few years ago in an interview that she talks about Ben a lot and he wishes she would stop or something. She said basically, they ask me, and that’s what I talk about, the kids and you. He said, they don’t ask me all those questions in interviews. She said, maybe they should ask you what I cooked you for dinner. I remember that part.

      So everyone is saying all over the internet poor Jen and what a jerk and douche he is for leaving the wonderful Jen after that interview and he’s in a bad mood. I don’t think the paps were alerted. This was definitely where he saw them and was pissed.

  49. JoJo says:

    Yeah, I agree and could believe that a lot of the family photo opps and outings are probably at Jen’s prompting. It just seems like they are dragging this out to the extreme. Will be interesting to see if/when they actually file.

  50. Emily C. says:

    A lot of people are talking about her “sun” comment as if it’s complimenting Ben. I didn’t read it that way whatsoever. In fact, I thought it was a bigger “take that” to Ben than the “ashes” comment. Well-deserved, too.

    I’ve been with someone like that — someone whose charisma and intelligence made everyone turn toward him. You start living for that light, forgetting you have any of your own. (Sorry for the cheesy metaphor, but it’s true.) But he doesn’t feel the same about you, and he never ever will, because he thinks of himself as the center of the solar system too. You might be his favorite planet for a while, but there’s a feeling that he’s bestowing favors on a lesser being. No equality and no real love.

    Then when you’re stuck in the shade, you feel like you’re nothing. Until you realize that bright charisma he’s got is hiding the fact that there’s not much depth to him. He has to shine all the time because it’s all he’s got. This is not the kind of person you want to be involved with. Everything must revolve around him, you’re not allowed to be a person yourself because you’re supposed to cater to him at all times. And after the initial lovebombing stage, it’s hard to escape that trap. If you fall for someone with this kind of personality, it’s tough to claw your way back to yourself.

    And people keep saying she’s a “doormat” — I don’t think so. There are people in the world who can suck nearly anyone in with their charisma, and I have no problems believing that Affleck is one of them. It might not come across on the screen or in pictures, but this kind of parasitic charisma is much more of an in-person thing. They walk into the room and everyone naturally turns toward them. Who wouldn’t want a piece of that? But in exchange, they take all of you.