Gwyneth Paltrow hates acai, microwaves, takeout & grab-and-go salads

goop book

I fell down the internet hole reading reviews and criticism of Gwyneth Paltrow’s latest cookbook, It’s All Easy. The Los Angeles Times had a somewhat nice piece about the book, saying that the recipes were actually pretty good and that the dishes were somewhat easy to make. But the LAT also got some swipes in, mentioning the two-page list of kitchen accoutrements Gwyneth says everyone simply must have, and asking: “Does every kitchen require a bamboo matcha whisk and gluten-free pancake mix?” There are also some complaints that Gwyneth’s recipes are not “easy in a real-world way” and that “Paltrow [is] the ultimate condescending celebrity, the one who, out of touch with the real world, tells everyone that they ought to be spending $4,739 on a gold-plated juicer or dining at Benz’s, a restaurant located on the remote Koh Kood Island in Thailand, an hour’s boat ride from the mainland.”

Which brings me to this piece at E! – they’ve read Gwyneth’s new cookbook and they made a list of some Gwyn-isms that they learned with It’s All Easy.

1. The key to making your cooking better? Approach it with “an air of ease.”
2. A Spiralizer and a Vitamix will change your life.
3. The more you pile on your plate, the more you’ll long for the simpler things in life—like not having a lot piled on your plate.
4. Acai is so over. Pitaya is the hot new healthy ingredient.
5. Never, ever eat grab n’ go salads.
6. Avocado toast will never go out of style.
7. If you’re too scared to try making your own almond milk, just blend almond butter and water. Seriously.
8. Even Gwyneth Paltrow can’t give up caffeine.
9. NEVER ORDER TAKEOUT.
10. Breakfast for dinner is not only encouraged, but it is a sneaky, sneaky chef trick.
11. Self-imposed rules and standards are great, but not if they get in the way of the all-important Daydreaming and Meandering.
12. Get rid of your microwave. Like, just smash it.
13. Get familiar with your local Asian grocery store.
14. For optimal summer enjoyment, spend your evenings dining al fresco around a large farmhouse table. Bonus points if you add in crisp white wine and sun-kissed children.
15. To get your friends to come over, always lure them with snacks.

[From E! News]

As I was skimming over the list and rolling my eyes, I honestly thought #14 said something about “crisp white children,” LOL. What does Gwyneth have against takeout? Why would one need to make their own almond milk, and I’m sorry, but almond butter and water sounds gross and lumpy. Why can’t we have a microwave for reheating leftovers? Why can’t peasants get grab-and-go salads? Gwyneth really has no idea how non-Gwyneths live.

Here are some pics of Gwyneth at a book signing this week.

FFN_Pal_Gwen_NYC_041216_52021595

FFN_Pal_Gwen_NYC_041216_52021540

Photos courtesy of Instagram, Goop’s cookbook, Fame/Flynet.

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151 Responses to “Gwyneth Paltrow hates acai, microwaves, takeout & grab-and-go salads”

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  1. Birdix says:

    I won’t buy this cookbook and Gwyneth grates, but I do admit to an unabiding love for avocado toast and almond butter (and artichokes and asparagus, all the a foods).

    • susiecue says:

      OH MY GOD could that cover be worse?? Her HAIR!!!!

      • Mel M says:

        Right? Fried, I think all of her cookbook covers are awful. Like she thinks if she looks like she just stepped out of the shower and didn’t do her hair or makeup, because she’s just like us, the plebs will relate to her and totally want to buy her cookbook.

      • K says:

        Thank you! Was she going for a “busy mom who doesn’t have time to use conditioner” look? Did she think this looked good, and did she not have a friend to tell her no? HOW does that happen?

      • Christin says:

        Maybe she couldn’t heat her conditioning pack because, no microwave. :)

  2. Lindy79 says:

    Oh, just feck off

  3. Murphy says:

    She hates grab ‘n go salads…what does she think all those home-delivered macrobiotic meals are?

  4. anniefannie says:

    She should retittle “It’s all easy ” to ” Its all my way….or else!” She’s insufferable.

  5. vauvert says:

    At this point I just hate-read the stuff she says, because she is just so clueless and out of touch with reality. I am a pretty solid cook, have been since I learned how as a teen, and the BS she spews just baffles me. Actually, what baffles me even more is that anyone would actually buy her book, or any stuff she recommends on her website.
    That list is too ridiculous for words, but what do I know….

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      I just click to see if she’s wearing her pink onesie. 🐏 And a vitamix would be great, for $650, but I just got a really nice blender at Target for $39. I really don’t see the point.

      • LadyMTL says:

        GNAT, that pink onesie pic is my go-to when I need a chuckle.

        As for her suggestions, most of them are so eye-rolling it’s funny. That said, my brother has a Vitamix and he swears by it. Yes, it’s ridiculously expensive (though he got his at Costco so it was a wee bit cheaper) but he says it’s the only blender he’s tried that really blends i.e. no chunks or bits of stuff left in the smoothie or the soup. I guess if you’re going to splurge, Gwynnie would prefer we splurge on that rather than – gasp! – grab and go salads. :P

      • swak says:

        I have an blender that is about 20 years old and it’s the greatest. With the liquify setting I can make the best smoothies and doesn’t leave chunks! I have a lot more things I can do with $650 than spend it on a vitamix.

      • Maria T. says:

        Okay, I spent my job bonus on a Vitamix to celebrate losing 20 pounds. I freaking love it. I make smoothies with crazy hippie add-ins every day and it’s like drinking sweet tasty velvety juice. And I also make my own peanut butter (pour in peanuts, turn on machine, done) and I feel so smug! It makes up for the dinosaur nuggets and waffle fries I feed my kids every other day. (and also, I gained back the 20 pounds)

      • Fiorella says:

        I don’t have one but I think it’s not the same as a regular blender. I just have a typical blender too. For example my friend uses hers (besides the obvious soup and smoothies) to make flour and not butter. And she makes vegan “fudge” with dates as the only sweetener. Vitamix saves a lot of time. I’ve never used one though. The high speed. Scares me a bit

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        I guess I just don’t need a vitamix. My blender makes great smoothies and that’s all I use it for. I don’t make anything like flour. I didn’t even know you could make your own flour.

      • Louisa says:

        What’s the difference between a vitamix and a “bullet” which i just bought and love? I can put pretty much anything in it and cost $80.

      • vauvert says:

        I use my regular blender for soup – I make a lot of blended soups, like a Turkish lentil one that’s delicious, and I like my Mulligatawny blended, and my tomato soup etc. I make the potatoes for cod brandade in it, and so on – never needed more. I have a small, cheap Bullit (sp?) for my smoothies. I guess it depends what you want to make, but my $120 blender does everything I need. I do have friends who swear by the Vitamix but they could never convince me that their soups are that much creamier or something. Still, if you are a keen cook and have the budget, I guess why not. It’s the rest of her suggestions that gave me a headache.
        For example, breakfast for dinner is great – unless breakfast is fried eggs with bacon and buttered toast – I would think that’s too heavy (and obviously too peasant-y for the precious Goop).
        Our upscale supermarket has some awesome freshly made salads that are a life saver in a crunch, and they also have multiple takeout counters – from a sushi bar to a hot bar for grilled panninis and a roast counter – you can get freshly cooked turkey breast, prime rib, side dishes like truffled mushrooms and so on. During my recent kitchen reno they were fantastic to have, and if you are heading home from a long day at work or don’t feel like cooking, nothing wrong with getting some fresh, hot meals. Also particularly helpful when you have a craving for soup, your husband wants wings and your kid will only have sushi. But I guess when you have a private chef you can just get all that cooked at home:-)

      • prettylights says:

        My husband and I splurged on a Vitamix for our wedding gift to ourselves but we got it refurbished for $300. It is pretty awesome. We make a lot of green smoothies and it can seriously blend up anything. I’ve thrown half a cucumber in there not cut up, half apples, carrots, etc just to see if it can handle it and it sure can. I’ve made some soups too and it worked great. I really need to utilize it more though and try making other things in it. I used to use an old Sunbeam blender from the 80′s for smoothies and the difference between those chunky smoothies and the smooth creamy ones from the Vitamix is very noticeable.

      • Jwoolman says:

        If the $39 blender does what you want and lasts as long as you want, no problem. People have different needs and not everybody needs a high power blender like Vitamix or Blendtec.

        But the Vitamix is pricey because it’s made in the USA and has US customer service reps for the USA and really does last well beyond its 5-7 year warranty, plus it pulverizes anything you throw at it without burning out the motor. No, I haven’t tried grinding up avocado pits (allegedly quite nutritious), but it can do it. I gave up waiting for my ancient 1980s Vitamix to die and bought a more recent refurbished Vitamix personal blender (40oz and 20oz containers) that fits my current needs much better. Refurbished, $259 plus tax, free shipping (promo codes are all over the web on foodie sites), billed in five installments, zero interest, real 30 day trial, real 5 year warranty. My ancient one was refurbished, too, which I always prefer because I figure any defect has been found in retesting. The big ones are available refurbished, too. Whoever is selling them for more than $600 is getting quite a markup, you can get them new directly from the company for less. Blendtec is comparable, they might have a refurbished option also. What I’ve heard from people who have gone through a lot of lesser blenders is that the Vitamix or Blendtec is really cheaper over the long haul. Sometimes you can find a lower power blender that also holds up for years, but many of them break frequently or the blade goes dull in a short time. So sometimes people upgrade for that reason even if they’re happy enough with the blending results.

        Having a powerful blender really helps me because I need seeds and skins pulverized. I checked out blender performance on raspberry seeds, which is a good test for a blender. Lesser blenders can do a good enough job for many people, but I need the power. I just freeze cut up fruits and veggies in portions (including greens) and toss them in with some cold water. Nondairy milks are easy, I just add nuts or shredded coconut on the fly and don’t have to commit to a full 32oz container of the commercial stuff any more. Soft serve nondairy ice cream is easy to make also just from frozen fruit. I figure it will pay for itself in a few months. So I have to agree with GP about the Vitamix…. Getting the smaller new one was worth it, got me over the hump and back into eating more fruits and veggies that I had been avoiding due to digestive problems. I hadn’t had strawberries in two years!

        When I was much younger and more ambitious in the kitchen, I got my original Vitamix during a bad pollen season. I was attracted by the ice cream making option since I was allergic to dairy and not much was available back then, and also thought it would help me get more fluids to help with the pollen allergies. I hesitated because of the price even refurbished, but only regretted not going into debt for it earlier. I even ground flour in it to bake bread, and made peanut butter or cashew butter in a few minutes. And I froze pieces of fruit for no-milk milk shakes (melon is lovely). I no longer felt deprived, and it did help me get more fluids. It was more versatile than my old regular blender, which was a good brand.

        I also have a much smaller Tribest personal blender which is useful because it has a mason jar attachment. I actually use that mostly to purée canned cat food for the elderly feline assistant who I finally realized was not really a picky eater after all. He has always just licked the gravy out of canned food and left the rest for the other assistant. He was always willing to eat baby food, though. Discovered that he will eat anything puréed, it’s a texture thing rather than a taste thing for him. He still eats dry food also, but I want him to get the canned food as much as possible. It only took me 9 years to catch on (he was 8 when he arrived).

    • mare says:

      There is no such thing as one universal reality. Gwyneth’s reality is that of a rich person, yours and mine is of probably middle class reality, and there is also a reality of most of the world, people who can only dream about things we consider normal, like internet access to comment on celebrity blogs. What I’m trying to say is Gwyneth is selling to those richer than us which is totally fine, I don’t understand why would I hate her for that?

  6. Tash says:

    Pitaya is in? Didn’t know that food can get in and out of style. Silly me, I thought it’s about what’s healthy and what’s not :/

    • SnarkySnarkers says:

      I LOVE my acai bowls! Its like eating ice cream for breakfast when I make them. When I add protein powder and pile lots of fresh fruit and coconut flakes on it keeps this preggo full for a long time. I guess I can no longer enjoy them though as Dame Paltrow has deemed acai “over”. Shame.

    • Mia V. says:

      Açai is super healthy if eaten in the right way. But it’s probably not matching her color palette of the month, so.

    • Sabrine says:

      I like smoothies but quit having them a few years ago when I found out how loaded with sugar and calories they are, even the home made ones, not really a very healthy choice. Gwyneth’s comments are ridiculous. How else am I going to make a cup of tea for one? Boil a kettle? Heat water in a pot? She’s full of it.

      • swak says:

        I have a small electric hot pot I use when I need heated water!

      • Jwoolman says:

        My stove conked out years ago, so I get along with a microwave and a small convection/toaster oven. Make pasta and rice etc. in the microwave as well as boiling water. Have a small pizza stone for the little oven. Pie pans fit well for making anything else. What more do I need?!

  7. minx says:

    “Super busy” is such a colloquialism. It’s something I might say in casual speech, but to see it used in a book title looks wrong.

  8. Sam says:

    What does she have against grab and go salads? Is she thinking of those terrible ones at fast food places like McDonalds? Because there are plenty besides that. Nuts to you, GP, I will continue to eat my prepared salads.

    • FingerBinger says:

      E coli ,salmonella and listeria is what most of us have against grab and go salads. I’ve read several articles that advise against grab and go salads and prepackaged lettuce.

      • Sam says:

        Except all those things are relatively rare. They’re the result of poor washing of produce. And packaged foods are subject to far more stringent hygiene standards than raw materials you’d buy at a farmers’ market. So, actually, more cases of food poisoning are actually linked to those raw materials than the bagged stuff (since people generally can’t be trusted to wash food appropriately). But don’t let the facts get in the way of anything.

    • Bridget says:

      I am confused by this. Is she talking pre-made salads that you buy? Or like mason jar salads that people make ahead of time? I’d like a little more context.

    • Lurker says:

      I am eating a grab and go takeout salad while I read this. #rebelheart

  9. angel l says:

    Her poor hair on the cover! so crispy. She needs to put it out of its misery and cut it.

    • mimif says:

      Crisp white hair. 🌽

    • SloaneY says:

      Lol! That’s what I was thinking. Shouldn’t all that healthy eating give you healthier hair? Because hers looks like straw. Don’t light up around her. She will go up in flames.

    • HK9 says:

      I know!! You mean to tell me with all that ‘healthy’ eating she’s still got hair that looks like straw?? I will never understand…

    • burnsie says:

      Her face on the book is super different vs at the release. She looks “refreshed”

      I also think she uglies up her hair on those book covers to show she’s “just like us”

    • Minnieder says:

      That was my thought! Couldn’t they Photoshop the ends so it didn’t look stringy and fried?

  10. Naya says:

    In her defence (lol), she has explained many times that her brand is aspirational. I imagine it is intended for waspy housewives with ambition like maybe Bree from Desperate Housewives. I find Goop harmless and endlessly entertaining, I hope she never changes.

    • mp says:

      I think of Martha Stewart as aspirational? I too find GOOP funny (vagina steam!), but some of the stuff on her website I don’t think is so harmless.

      I forget which article, but I think there was one about pregnancy that was like, “you probably need to cut out eggs, wheat, citrus fruits, tomatoes, potatoes, white flour”?? I guess we laugh and are like, “haha who would do that!” but I think there are people who can get caught up in this stuff, like OMG if I’m not eating wild Alaskan just caught salmon my baby is exposed to TOXINS.

      This girl I met was raving about her sweet potato recipe (it’s literally preheat oven to 375F and bake the potato for an hour) and her elimination diet, so there are people who look to her for guidance, which makes me sad. :/ I just hope they don’t look to her for pregnancy guidance or advice on things like vaccines, which I worry she might shift to blaming for autism.

  11. Jayna says:

    I’m getting this cookbook, because I love the other one I have by her.

  12. manda says:

    And here I was, proud of myself when I actually opt for a grab-n-go salad over a grab-n-go panini or take-out burger and fries. Yum…….

    And also? I don’t get the avocado toast love. It’s good, but not that good. Am I doing it wrong?

    • HappyMom says:

      I think the avocado has to be just right-silky texture, and not that weird flavor that they sometimes get-and a sprinkle of coarse salt. And the bread has to be really good too. It’s seems like a simple thing-but unless the avocado and bread are perfect-meh.

      • SnarkySnarkers says:

        So true! If the avocado is stringy and over ripe it can be gross. You definitely need good sea salt sprinkled on too. I don’t go nuts over it but it is a good snack or breakfast when I’m in the mood.

      • vauvert says:

        Smitten Kitchen has a simple, solid recipe. For me, the bread is super important, it has to be a dense bread otherwise it doesn’t hold up to the avocado. I buy a seven grain bakery sandwich bread, toast it, top with avocado, drizzle some olive oil, a bit of lime or lemon juice, sprinkle with sea salt and hot pepper flakes. Yummy.
        (But maybe I should mention that you must mash the avocado with a fork made out of bamboo raised in a holy grove in a tiny village in China, where it is harvested at midnight once a year by 15 year old maidens. Oh, and the olive oil must be crushed in an ancient press in a cave on Rhodes and stored in a three hundred year old cask. )

      • aang says:

        i prefer guacamole on toast and good bread is key.

      • Zip says:

        I love my avocado spread with a bit of lemon, black pepper and kala namak salt (aka black salt). This salt makes it smell and taste a bit like egg. So yummy. :-)

      • KiddVicious says:

        I mix a little balsamic vinegar in my mashed up avocado. Gives it the perfect kick.

      • Jwoolman says:

        I like to mash up an avocado and eat on various types of crackers (good rice blends are best) or corn taco shells or with various kinds of bean chips. Often I mash it with some lemon juice, but recently I tried it with pineapple cut up into small pieces and it was really good.

    • manda says:

      Thank you everyone!! These sound like some good tips. Yes, my bread has been sort of limp, so that’s probably a good first step

  13. Kkhou says:

    I am a normal person and I hate grab and go salads and microwaves…. But I use both in my daily life out of necessity/convenience (albeit begrudgingly).

  14. SloaneY says:

    Is avocado toast the “in” thing now? I hadn’t heard of it before last week and then I hear it in 3 different places. It’s just avocado on toast, right?

    • frivolity says:

      Yes. It’s so damn pretentious, Vegetarians have been eating avocado sandwiches (or open-faced sandwiches) for decades and decades. Mexicans have spread avocados on their bread for centuries. I adore good food, but I can’t abide these snooty B.S. food fads.

    • susanne says:

      When I was in Spain, l ate the greatest breakfast- gorgeous bread scrubbed with a halved tomato, drizzled with olive oil and salt. Same concept, beautiful.

  15. HappyMom says:

    I’m with her on a lot of these- I love the huge Asian market in our town, takeout is loaded with salt and grease (and of course we still get it-life gets busy), and I use my Vitamix multiple times a day. That said-the microwave is super handy for reheating leftovers. However, I’m never going to buy her cookbook-she is condescending and over the top smug.

    • sanders says:

      I fully agree with the Asian market suggestion. There is so much variety and it opens you up to trying all kinds of fruits and vegetables. I also find it cheaper, my grocery bill is always less.

      As for the almond milk, there are a lot of additives in most and often it’s way more water and very little almond. I may just try her recipe using my vitamix which I’ve had for a gazillion years!! I’ll pass on the vagina steam though.

  16. Adrien says:

    Pitaya is just a cactus fruit that tastes like a bland kiwi. It is used mainly as salad decor because it’s cute and has a neutral taste. It is great on smoothies too and is easy to grow. But it is not really a nutritional powerhouse.

  17. Phaedra says:

    I don’t like her but it seems she hasn’t messed with her face. She looks good!

  18. Looloo says:

    Oh Gwen, keep on trolling, you do it well.

  19. Lambda says:

    My favorite is number 3 on that list. It approaches koan levels of depth and wonderment.

  20. Jensays says:

    They are blending pitaya and acai together now. I think it’s the perfect amount of sweetness actually.

  21. FingerBinger says:

    I don’t see much wrong with this. This is what most of the whole foods shopping organic eating crowd say.

    • Sam says:

      There is no good reason to get rid of a microwave. They’ve been documented as safe time and time again and are boons to the vast majority of people by saving time, water, and energy. Advising people to get rid of them is nonsense that just reeks of upper-class stupid.

      • FingerBinger says:

        Telling people to get rid of their microwave is not upper class stupidity. It’s more of a hipster thing. I know people who aren’t upper class who don’t own a microwave. They’re managing their time ,water and energy just fine.

      • Claudia says:

        I don’t own a microwave and I don’t miss it at all. (I’m not upper class/hipster, I just don’t need one.)

      • Lambda says:

        Oh please. We haven’t had a microwave in 5 years. Ended up not using it.

      • Wren says:

        I hate microwaves and only use mine for my heating pads. Never ever for food. We use the toaster oven for reheating and vastly prefer it. I make popcorn on the stove, takes the same amount of time as the microwave stuff and comes out yummier. So, not missing it and I’m not a hipster yuppie whatever.

      • Kitten says:

        If you know how to use a stove, a microwave is completely superfluous.
        It’s not “hipster” or whatever, it’s just a practical solution. I need every inch of my countertops for chopping and prepping, not for showcasing some ugly machine that I use once a year.

        *shrugs*

      • FingerBinger says:

        Now you’re all stuck on the hipster word. I was being facetious.

      • Sam says:

        Kitten: the only drawback to the stovetop is that it will be more expensive. Ranges take more energy to heat up, they use more variable energy sources (unless you have a 100% electric range). They also use more over time – a stoveup steaming uses far more water than a microwave steaming, since the microwave boils less water faster. The microwave will result in more cost savings and a lower ecological footprint. That’s why telling people to ditch them is stupid – they’re faster, cheaper and greener. There’s no real drawback to them, realistically speaking.

        And Finger, most people on the anti-microwave bandwagon are better off. Generally, poor people don’t gripe about something that can cook more efficiently and cheaply. At least, I never did when I was in that situation. So yeah, hipster upper class stupid.

      • Marty says:

        If people prefer using an oven let them use an oven, if people prefer using a microwave let them use a microwave. It’s not Sophie’s Choice here. I have both, I use both.

      • Wren says:

        Food from the microwave doesn’t come out as good as food cooked on a stove or in an oven. So there’s a big drawback to the microwave right there for me. I cook from fresh always and that doesn’t jive with microwaving. There’s a reason they don’t use microwaves much in high end kitchens where the food has to be perfect.

        I’m with Kitten, my toaster oven is the only ugly little box I need on my countertop. It doesn’t make my food gross and I use it all the time. If you actually know how to cook, the microwave doesn’t save you any time, water or money.

      • lizzie says:

        @wren – totally agree. food warmed up in the microwave tastes terrible to me! I heat things up in the toaster oven or a frying pan. my MIL always cooks tons of food at once and freezes it only to reheat it days later. I understand the ease of it all but honestly – it all tastes like a tv dinner. so I totally get what she’s saying here. I dont’ think she is saying get rid of it b/c of health – I think she’s saying get rid of it b/c cooking fresh food does not involve a microwave lol.

      • Konspiracytheory says:

        @Marty “It’s not Sophie’s Choice” – lol, exactly!

      • Kitten says:

        @Sam-Microwaves aren’t a rich/poor person thing. Most apartments come with appliances so if you’re renting (as most people below the poverty line are) then you have a stove. Also, the difference in energy saved between the two comes down to a couple dollars a year, if that.

        Hell, I think I actually save on heating when I use my stove in the winter because it warms up my kitchen and living room, so I don’t have to put my heat on. I also use my broiler a lot because it doesn’t require pre-heating.
        In the summer, I use my grill.

        But as Marty said, it doesn’t have to be either/or.
        I don’t think it’s a big deal if people are attached to their microwaves. I just don’t see any need for one myself.

        *shrugs*

    • frivolity says:

      I have to agree with Goopy here. (UGHHHHH). The microwave is great for disinfecting things (cloths, sponges), but good food cannot be made via microwave.

      • SilkyMalice says:

        I have a really excellent microwave lasagna recipe, so I am just going to have to disagree with you on that. Also, how else in the world am I supposed to keep my coffee hot without a microwave?

      • annaloo. says:

        BACON CAN

  22. meme says:

    this one gets more insufferable by the minute.

  23. Magnoliarose says:

    As insufferable as she can be some of the stuff she says is ok and not irksome for me. I don’t like grab and go salads either. The lettuce always tastes weird to me. I do like some prepared bean salads or tabouli. I don’t use a microwave except for reheats and I love avocados. Vitamix machines-I can go with her there.
    Where she fails is her arrogance in assuming everyone lives in a major city or has disposable income. It would be better if she offered alternatives at different budgets. I know she feels she is sharing good information, but her delivery makes people who maybe want to eat healthier tasty food, feel resentful.
    A lot of people would love to have expensive kitchen gadgets but just can’t swing it. Why rub people’s noses in it? Some of her recipes are good but I wouldn’t buy her books. My friend has her book and shares what she likes from Goopy and that’s far as I can with her.
    If the universe exploded and somehow someone gave a damn about a cookbook from me, I would focus on healthy, delicious recipes that emphasized economy and realistic ingredients.

    • Bridget says:

      Because as someone else pointed out above, GOOP is supposed to be aspirational. She started it because she was sharing what she uses and where she goes. It’s not for regular folks who want budget options.

      • Magnoliarose says:

        Of course you are right. I think it is more her overall tone sometimes. I don’t think she’s as bad as she can seem but she is stuck in her image.

      • Bridget says:

        It’s not something that particularly appeals to me personally either; Goop wouldn’t be my first choice for a cookbook or a lifestyle guru by any means. And honestly, I’ve never read a single Goop newsletter (though I’ll still give her the tiniest bit of credit for being the only one to play along when Colbert announced his own lifestyle brand). Personally, I only clicked on this story because I’m fascinated how anyone can have strong feelings about grab and go salads!

      • Magnoliarose says:

        Lol. That’s funny. She does have very strong views.

    • sanders says:

      Interestingly, she unintentionally did provide a budget saving tip, as I stated up thread… Asian grocery stores are wonderful, great variety for produce and inexpensive.

      • Magnoliarose says:

        So true. I love the dried shiitakes and sauces. I like getting those huge soup bowls and small dipping bowls. You can lose time in a good one.

    • Pepper says:

      I have a huge collection of cookbooks. Unless one literally has budget or cheap or bargain in the title, it’s going to be too expensive for someone counting their pennies. Even your most basic Jamie or Nigella recipes can require things like $20 of herbs and $20 of cheese.

      Honestly, if you can’t afford to spend quite a bit on food, you probably aren’t buying a lot of cookbooks either. The ‘cheap recipes’ cookbook genre is rather niche.

      • Snowflake says:

        This^^^. A lot of times, I got the idea to try and cook using a receipe, but I have given up because it is so expensive. when you don’t have even the basics, like flour or spices, they cost a ton. Plus, there is usually always at least one or two ingredients required that I can never find. So discouraging when you are not used to cooking. I finally found a cookbook with simple, easy recipes with common ingredients. I think it’s called the clean living cookbook. But yeah, that’s exactly it.

    • Jwoolman says:

      Um, I think her market quite naturally is people with more disposable income. How many people on the poverty line or below it are likely to be looking for such cookbooks, anyway? She’s just aiming at her market.

  24. Kitten says:

    I haven’t had a microwave in two years and I don’t miss it AT ALL.

    • Wren says:

      I don’t think I’ve used one in nearly 10 years and I’m not missing anything about it. Not even the “convenience”.

      • Kitten says:

        The only thing I missed at first was microwave popcorn so late last year I got an air-popper and now I’m good to go!

      • Celebwatch says:

        I didn’t have a microwave for many years but my place came with one and it is definitely very convenient for reheating leftovers and drinks and melting butter for cooking. Mostly because it saves me from having to dirty and wash another pot.

    • mp says:

      If you have kids, unless you have a serious lack of space, I don’t know why you wouldn’t want a microwave – they are lifesavers! For leftovers, oatmeal, making hot chocolate, reheating breast milk, popcorn. No shade on people who don’t have one, I just love how convenient mine makes my life, and am happy that the whole “microwaves ruin the nutrition of food” has been debunked.

      • Kitten says:

        Oh if I had kids, I’d probably have three microwaves lol.
        I grew up with microwaves and as an adult, I’ve had one in almost every apartment I’ve rented. When I moved a couple years ago, I just decided to toss mine and never looked back.

      • WAMAMAx3 says:

        Thank you! I was literally reading all of these people saying they don’t miss their microwaves and thinking “they must not have kids…”
        I use the microwave every day for (like you said) oatmeal, my toddler son’s warm milk before bed, heating the water for the breast milk for my baby, and yes, disinfecting bottles and binkies and pump parts.
        I agree that fresh food does not ever need to be prepared in the microwave, but I use mine every day for a million other things.

      • SloaneY says:

        I’m with you. I have a kid. I can’t imagine doing without a microwave. We do a lot of leftovers, and I just can’t get certain things to reheat on the stove. Maybe if we ate out a lot I could do without one.

      • Magnoliarose says:

        It’s the kids. Definitely. Heating breast milk and reheating leftovers. When I was single I never had one, but I was never home either so it didn’t matter.

      • Claudia says:

        Nope. Two kids, no microwave. It’s possible!

  25. Meg D says:

    “If you’re too scared to try making your own almond milk”

    This genuinely made me laugh out loud.

    • annaloo. says:

      Wait, isn’t there a drought in California? Aren’t almond trees water hogs? Doesn’t this woman take two baths a day? Doesn’t she use bee stings as beauty treatment?

  26. lucy2 says:

    “If you’re too scared to try making your own almond milk”…OMG.
    I can’t imagine what would happen to Gwenyth’s brain if she had to do a full time job and to take care of her own house and children 24/7. She lives in a such a bubble.

    • mp says:

      Yes, this. How does anyone with kids and a household to manage have time to even aspire to find pitaya? I feel lucky if I get 8 hours of sleep!

  27. sofie says:

    Dear god! Does this woman ever just shut the hell up? I don’t care what you eat or what you don’t eat. Just sod off with your dumb books & take your other lifestyle guru girlfriends with you.

  28. Green Is Good says:

    Goopy is the obnoxious twat gift that keeps on giving. Whether you want it or not.

    • sills says:

      Yesssss, I love Gwyneth posts because she is someone you can mock endlessly and totally guilt-free.

      • TotallyBiased says:

        I misread that as “endlessly and totally gluten-free.”
        Because, you know, reasons.

  29. kri says:

    “Acai is so over ” is the “you wear cool pants, bro”. Good god. this woman. And I knew they were gluten free pancakes. Lying, scheming jade! trying to make me believe she was at IHOP once a week.

  30. Dollymoon says:

    A nutribullet is just as good for smoothies as a vitamix
    Both are good bits of kit i have both but the vitamix is hassle to clean so for daily smoothies for 1/2 the nutribullet does the job just as good
    Goop is sooooo current
    There nothing wrong with acai. Ittitating as hell

  31. Iridescent says:

    I can’t believe she picked that title. She’s just asking for it, isn’t she?

  32. sheldon says:

    The almond butter and water thing is actually kind of genius… What is almond milk besides blended up almonds and water? Almond milk that you get from a grocery store is full of additives like emulsifiers and stabilizers. Not to mention it’s also super overpriced!

    Imagine how much almond milk you could make with a jar of almond butter! I’m no goop apologist but it’s genuinely not a ridiculous idea!

  33. EEV says:

    Full disclosure: I have both a Vitamix and a Spiralizer and I couldn’t live without them, so I can’t hate on her for #2.

  34. lila fowler says:

    Her hair and skin look so dry and awful on that cover. Like, I would never take health advice from someone who looks so busted most of the time.

  35. Juluho says:

    I agree with the grab and go salads, once I got food poisoning from one!

  36. Kitten says:

    I want to try Acai bowls now. I can’t believe I’ve never had one..just googled and they look amazing!

    ETA: 70 grams of sugar a bowl? Forget it.
    They do look yummy though.

  37. perplexed says:

    Why didn’t she get her split ends cut when being photographed for the book cover?

  38. lunchcoma says:

    At this point, I was more surprised that I actually agreed with one thing from her list (breakfast for dinner is fantastic) than at how tone deaf the rest of it sounded.

  39. Christina says:

    My family of 3 has never had a microwave … my parents never had one when I was growing up. The only time I wished I had one was is when I melted glycerin for making soap (the double boiler is MESSY)! We warm our leftovers in a pan or the toaster oven. We make our popcorn with coconut oil in a pan.

  40. Mango says:

    There many of these Goop quote lists floating around on the internet and they’re all hilarious (not necessarily food related). She’s just so airy fairy when she talks. You just imagine her saying all this stuff in that slightly nasal voice of hers…..

  41. Tara says:

    She is so annoying. I think she took on this lifestyle guru role to give herself something to do when she was no longer Hollywoods it girl.

  42. MAC says:

    When her hair reflects her supposed eating style than I will consider what she says about food. Her hair (unless she has a severe auto immune disorder) looks like an anorexic I knew.

    Get healthy hair first. Plus stop smoking.

  43. SKF says:

    She looks gorgeous at the launch. I like the waves. I also think that her hair would look so much better darker. Like a dark blonde / light brown and maybe some soft balayage to lighten it up gradually at the ends. The harsh blonde is just aging her now.

  44. stella says:

    Some tips for Gwynie:

    1) your hair is too flat at the top. Try a little volume at the top.

    2) Stop with the brow bleaching it is so passe and it ages you. you need light brown bushy eyebrows to frame your face.

    I think those 2 subtle changes will make a big difference.

  45. Jan says:

    I eat “grab and go” salads a lot, they are super convenient to take to work, what is her problem? * MAJOR EYE ROLLING* Oh right, she is utterly out of touch with the real world.

  46. Snowpea says:

    Oh god I know I’m late but wtaf is going on with old mates freaking hair? Heavens to Betsy, it’s so damn ratty and dry and do my eyes deceive me or is one side longer than the other? Why didn’t she get a cute trim? Or a really good deep conditioning treatment? I cannot work out why this woman has such dry, frazzled hair.

    I’m a natural blonde and I go to the beach a lot so my hair gets super dry at the end of summer. I use Kerastase products – a mask that costs about $60 Aus but it’s the shiz and really conditions the ends.

    If a lowly peasant like me can sort it out, why can’t Paltrow? Seriously, this chicks hair irks me no end.

  47. logica says:

    If having to look good means being this anal, I can do without.