Beyonce, master troll, wants you to spend the week thinking about ‘Lemonade’

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The Beyhive has been patient. Shockingly patient. Everyone expected/hoped that Beyonce would drop a new album last year. When she didn’t, people were still patient. After the last surprise album drop, the Beyhive kept itself in a constant state of preparedness, ready to absorb the new music, the new project, the new video, the new single, whatever it was, whenever Queen B deigned to allow us in. Some even thought that Beyonce was preparing to drop an album last year but decided to wait after Adele’s album did so well, plus Bey did not want to get into a head-to-head match-up with Rihanna’s ANTI. Basically, the hive has been holding their collective breath for the better part of a year. And finally, they’ve a date. For something called Lemonade.

Here’s the first teaser.

Here’s the second teaser.

Beyonce is such a master troll. I’m not saying that in a mean or shady way, I honestly appreciate how well she can stoke the fan-flames by doing very little. I don’t know what Lemonade is, nor do I know what we will be seeing at 9 pm this Saturday on HBO. But considering it’s HBO and considering this is HUGE weekend for HBO – Game of Throne premieres on Sunday, after all – I suspect that HBO wouldn’t have given Beyonce the platform unless it was something big, like an hour-long documentary about the making of the new album… or something. Or maybe every music video for every song off the new album. Hell, I don’t know. Maybe she’s using HBO to announce a pregnancy! She isn’t saying.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

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70 Responses to “Beyonce, master troll, wants you to spend the week thinking about ‘Lemonade’”

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  1. LadyJane says:

    In the words of Adele, ‘Beyonce is everything.’ Bring it on, Bey.

    • Cynthia says:

      @ladyjane, I agree, am not a fan but I respect her hard work. I also respect the fact that she understand the game and plays it so well. Not as talented as many musicians out there, but she outworks them by 1000% and understands marketing ( or hires the people that does)

    • Anna says:

      Have you guys seen the videos of Beyonce’s fans protesting outside her label in NYC because she hasn’t released an album? LOL

  2. Bam says:

    What even is that nonsense..

  3. Fiorella says:

    That’s kind of chilling/ creepy! I’m intrigued though , would rather watch it in the day time since I’m a scaredy cat

  4. Firenzi says:

    Beyonce – master troll, recurrent plagiariser, purveyor of faux feminism.

    • SloaneY says:

      Her music is ok, but to me she just seems like a poor woman’s Janet Jackson.

      • chioma says:

        ……if Janet could sing.

      • SloaneY says:

        Beyonce may technically be a better singer, but Janet as a brand was more of a whole package, and she came across in earnest. Beyonce (to me at least) just seems like a puppet with 80 people working her strings.

      • chioma says:

        puppet with 80 people working on her strings? lol. And the credit for Beyoncé’s hard work goes to everyone but Beyonce t again. That statement is ignorant at best. I’m not going to dignify it by listing all her achievements independent of her label and management.
        Beyoncé somehow brings out the hate, racism and sexism in you all at the same damn time

      • V4Real says:

        Speaking of Janet I was thinking that damn Bey looks like Michael Jackson with that hat and sunglasses on.

        And what’s wrong with Janet? They are both talented women and have their own style. Janet may not be a strong singer compared to Bey (whose voice is a bit stronger) but the woman has talent and she can dance her ass off.

    • chioma says:

      There’s nothing wrong with Janet @v4real. The person being slandered here is Beyoncé. No one called Janet a puppet and no one chalked up all her success to 80 other people. it’s all Beyoncé

      • SloaneY says:

        Haha. I’m not slandering her. I didn’t say she doesn’t work hard. But if you think she’s doing this all by herself, I’ll just direct you to take a gander at the songwriter credits on her songs. She is far from a one woman show.

  5. NewWester says:

    Whenever I hear Beyoncé referred to as “Queen B” and her fans as “The Beyhive”. I picture Beyoncé as a villain in a Marvel comic or movie, dressed to the nines in black and yellow gown, ordering her minions(The Beyhive) out in a massive cloud of angry bees to destroy her enemies.

  6. Lbliss says:

    Bow down to the master troll indeed. What even is this? My guess is a documentary on making an album. But honestly, I have no idea.

  7. Catwoman says:

    So overrated. Don’t care much for either her singing or dancing and I can’t imagine crawling in with Joe Camel every night.

    • zan says:

      +1, I don’t get the hype around her anymore

    • Fee says:

      Neither do I. Her music has not evolved, its a single Destiny Child girl on her own. You hear Adeles lyrics, there’s maturity, Beyonce is entertaining but there’s no depth, its label dropping,panty dancing,ass in air n sexual actions with her man. Don’t get me started on the plagiarism, I loved how she said I wrote this song in so so many days, yet NeYo came out saying he wrote it, then looking at her credits, there’s several names in writing credits. Many artists do that which to me is weak. Plus the vibe I got from this video was voodoo fish.

      • V4Real says:

        Like you said just about all singers do that. Taylor says she writes her own songs but have co-writers, so does Mariah and many others. They all don’t verbally give props to the people that assisted with the songs; they claim it for themselves. If you think about it singers don’t even have to write most of the songs. They can just change a few words or write a few lines and take full or most of the credit since they’re the ones shilling out the product.

        And I remember the NeYo incident. The song was Irreplaceable. Boy was made because Bey hadn’t paid him yet so he spilled the beans.

      • Cynthia says:

        The same Adele who has been using the same, trite formula since her debut album? I like Adele but come on, she’s definitely not evolved or added any kind of originality to her music. At least Beyoncé has done full pop, modern r’n'b and 80′s soul (like in the 4 album), sometimes successfully, sometimes not; but she has tried to mix it up a bit.
        That said I don’t listen to Beyoncé’s music looking for the depth that I could have with soul singers like Laura Mvula or Lianne La Havas.

    • Kate says:

      +1000 I just don’t get the hype

  8. Muhammad says:

    Also, it’s not a Tidal debut and exclusive to that site like everyone assumed (or feared) it was going to be.

  9. chioma says:

    Didn’t want to get in a head-to-head with rihanna’s Anti? Looool stop setting Rihanna up. First, it’s only been 2 years and she usually waits 3 of more. And Rihanna’s sales after 3 months have yet to equal her 5 days sales for her last album. But maybe on a professional level I can see why she would wait.
    Don’t you just love how they call her dumb etc while she clearly stays ahead of her peers. The people Beyoncé debuted with (Ashanti, Brandy etc) have dropped off the grid now while she stays on top of these 21st century girls.
    For the poster, calling her husband Joe camel, please link us to a picture of you or your husband maybe.
    The documentary has to do with The BlackLivesMatter movement, police brutality, race issues. The teaser said that much.
    And please drop the album, my coins are ready.

    • Naya says:

      Rihannas album was itself delayed for months on end. She also put out a lot of short teasers during that period. I dont recall any troll claims. What Beyonce is doing is plain old promotion, I dont know why and how it becomes the basis of a hit piece. But then the woman merely has to breathe and out come the claws.

    • V4Real says:

      I’m not calling Bey dumb but let’s not pretend that Bey don’t have a team of people assisting her with these decisions?

      And some people dislike Bey just like some people dislike Taylor.

      • chioma says:

        But here’s the thing. Who doesn’t have a team helping out with decisions? But how many gets called dumb. Jayz manages Rihanna, DJ Khaled, Jcole, and some sportspersons and still has his own team. So why is it the black woman we call dumb. A poster earlier, called her a puppet with 80 people on her strings. A woman who fired her own father and continously makes moves oblivious to her label (Columbia which is owned by Sony) A woman who has HBO on speed dial lol. But she’s dumb and the credit for her success always goes to everyone except her. It’s either her husband, her father or her team but never her.

      • SloaneY says:

        I never called her dumb. You’re putting words in my mouth. Yes, most singers have a team. Hers just seems more obvious to me. We disagree.

      • V4Real says:

        Taylor Swift has been called dumb. It has also been said many times that Taylor has a team behind her and her success is credited to nepotism. Her father was part owner of the first record label she signed to that released her first album.

        But every celeb have people who don’t fancy them. If we liked every celebrity this site would become quite boring. Hate her or not Bey is still going to continue to do Bey and be quite successful at it.

  10. Jenni says:

    She is so bland and boring. She steals other people’s ideas. I can’t believe people are still drinking her kool-aid.

  11. Mgsota says:

    Eye roll

    • Pandy says:

      My eyes are stuck in the back of my head, they rolled WAY too hard. This woman is beyond irritating to me. Didn’t click on her stupid video. I could only notice how lemony her hair looked in the pic where she’s sniffing a lemon.

    • Happy21 says:

      LOL, I just came to say that my eyes rolled so far back I saw my brain!

      That and she is such a geek to me such as I’m embarrassed for her in these ‘teaser trailers’. She’s so full of herself I just cannot with her.

      I’m not denying that she’s talented but I got tired of her schtick about 3 albums ago.

  12. missmerry says:

    HBO’s going to give her a night to run video of her talking about herself, and her art, and how incredible she is, and how blessed we all are to have to pay for HBO to see it.

    god bless beyonce.

    • chioma says:

      the power. The sheer brilliance right? No one inspires me as much as she does, it could be 2 hours of her staring in the camera and I’ll still be inspired.

    • Pandy says:

      Really?? So glad we opted out of HBO!!

  13. Sassenach says:

    Can’t wait for Sat! I love how she’s evolving as an artist and still carving out new ways to stay interest in after almost twenty years in the music industry.

  14. kri says:

    Very curious to see what this is all about. Since “Formation” I have been intrigued. I drank the Lemonade!

    • Naya says:

      If you liked the political messaging in Formation then I highly recommend her video with Frank Ocean “Superpower”. She put it out quietly like a year but omg, so on point. If Fox News viewers ever saw that one, they would all have massive coronaries.

    • I Choose Me says:

      Me too. I’m a recent convert to the church of Beyonce after disliking her (or her persona anyway) for years.

    • Laura J says:

      Covert over here! As an unabashed lover of all things New Orleans, I am completely obsessed with the video for Formation, she didn’t just do the cute side of New Orleans, but the other part that visitors rarely see. I believe it dropped right at Mardi Gras and everyone lost their collective minds.

      I never really got into her poppy sound but this new Beyonce is something to see. I’m super excited for the album and she is usually not my cup of tea at all.

  15. Loula says:

    Portentous and pretentious. It looks like a trailer for one of those jump scare psychological horror films. Is Bey going to come crawling out of the TV soaking wet now I’ve watched it?

  16. Colette says:

    Countdown to Album Release on April 23.First stop of the tour in Miami on April 27.Finally May 7 when I will see her at NRG in Houston.

  17. Bellagio says:

    I guess Beyhive is thrilled with her lemonade. The rest of us fail to see the fascination of this inarticulate, plagiarizing, commercially race-exploiting, marginally relevant brat. Buzz off and pay off the people you steal from.

    • chioma says:

      Artistes who have been successfully sued for plagiarism ; Michael Jackson, Janet jackson, Madonna, Shakira, Rihanna. Artistes who gets called thief, plagiarizer : Beyoncé. Marginally relevant? but here you are, shook over a 30 second teaser video. Beyoncé is more famous than your face tho and arguably the most famous woman in the world. You see the fascination, honey. You just hate that you do

      • V4Real says:

        “Beyoncé is more famous than your face tho”

        Hey what’s with the insult? I thought we were all adults here who can have a difference of opinions and disagreements about entertainers who don’t give a rat’s ass about us without attacking each other. For a moment I thought I was on the IMDb message board.

        And you forgot Robin Thicke and Pharrell. Add them to that list.

      • chioma says:

        f-king autocorrect. I meant fave. As in your favourite singer not face. Don’t mean to insult. Thanks for pointing that out.

      • Josefina says:

        How old are you?

      • V4Real says:

        Now it’s kind of funny if you think about it. Auto-correct has screwed me up many times before. :)

  18. reg says:

    Tidal is over, this hype wont help her album, she can try premiering her
    Next album by launching it the moon and still wont affect her record sales.

  19. Jh says:

    Feels very much like Lady Gaga’s Ü and I video. Like they are video twinsies

  20. QQ says:

    This is a Baller Move, that Is all I have at the moment

  21. TheOtherSam says:

    From the looks of the trailer I’d say its gonna be a long form video of some kind. Looks amazing either way.

    My guess is no documentary or making-of narrative. I bet she won’t speak at all. She doesnt have to at this point, to get people’s attention.

  22. Ugh says:

    Gross. Wish we could just say no to these egomaniacs.

  23. meme says:

    I don’t care and I’m not spending anytime thinking about this. Beyoncé believes all her own hype. Probably thinks she really is queen of something.

  24. outoftheshadows says:

    All the shadiness aside, folks, I bet she’s dropping her new album via video broadcast, with an announcement at the end that it’s on Tidal starting that night.

  25. mialouise says:

    Beyonce…meh. Haven’t liked anything she’s done in like a decade. Well, I guess I haven’t heard anything since…Single Ladies? And that “song” SUCKED.

    • Betsy says:

      If you haven’t heard any of it, how can you know it sucks?

    • Naddie says:

      In her defense (as if she needed it) her last album was way better than the previous ones and nonsense like Single Ladies and Crazy in Love.

  26. Betsy says:

    That looks like a horror film commercial, parts of it. Creepy.

  27. Naddie says:

    I like her voice and dance, I’d even pay to see her show again cause she’s a hell of an entertainer, but her attempts of being dark, deep and intriguing are embarrassing. She looks like a teenager trying to be “edgy” or something like that.

  28. Debutante says:

    Lemonade ???

    Somebody’s thirsty