Luann de Lesseps defends her choice to marry cheating fiance: crazy?

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Real Housewife of New York Luann de Lesseps seems to be living that old adage “the show must go on” and is going ahead with her marriage to NYC businessman Tom D’Agostino. D’Agostino, 50, was caught having an allegedly drunken make-out session with a Playboy model at New York’s Regency Hotel the day before his engagement was announced. What a winner.

Of course, since Luann, 51, lives her life in front of the cameras, her castmate Bethenny Frankel was the one who spilled the beans about the encounter. On an episode of RHONY, Bethany asked Luann if she and Tom were engaged in a “European relationship.” Luann balked and asserted that Tom was her “soulmate.” And then the proverbial poop hit the fan when Bethenny produced a photo of Tom and the model in a liplock. Luann didn’t appreciate the intel, apparently, telling Bethenny to stay out of her business and blowing off Tom’s behavior because he was a little tipsy. What the what?

Despite this “hiccup” in their relationship, Luann is excitedly moving forward with planning her nuptials. The ceremony is scheduled for New Year’s Eve in Palm Beach, Florida. Luann defended her choice to stay with Tom, kicking off the “for better or worse” part of marriage, in an interview with Entertainment Tonight. Enjoy the sweet, sweet delusion.

“We love each other,” she says. “I always say if you can’t forgive the people you love, then who can you forgive? … I’m not going to let a silly kiss ruin the rest of our lives.” De Lesseps says the kiss “of course” made her question her relationship at first, but that speaking to D’Agostino made her see things differently. “If he was trying to hide something would he really be in public? In the middle of the Regency Hotel? Kissing somebody?” she says. “I think he was just being stupid, and people make mistakes.”

The RHONY star says the key to moving on was knowing her fiancé regretted his actions. “I think the key is to know and believe that someone is truly remorseful and somebody truly made a mistake, that there was no premeditation,” she says. “I think it was not premeditated — I think it was a silly move and something that he feels really terrible about, and that meant really nothing to him.”

[From Entertainment Tonight]

Luann’s #teamtruelove publicity tour continued when she talked to PEOPLE Magazine, using the same talking points she gave to ET. “I’m so in love.” She went on to say, “Knowing that we can get through this has made our relationship even stronger. If you can’t forgive those you love, who can you forgive?” The whole Bethenny/Luann incident is sure to be talked about on the upcoming RHONY reunion, with part one airing on August 31 on Bravo, but Bethenny’s not getting an invite to the ceremony. Says Luann, of her “very negative” fellow housewife, “You’d think she’d be happy for me, but I think she’s just an unhappy person.”

I know it’s not sex, or a true affair (emotional or intimate), but really? I don’t know Luann – I don’t watch any of the Real Housewives shows, but I’m thinking she could do much better. If he’s done it to her before – and gotten away with it – he’s sure to do it again. I can only assume Luann can’t get any of the wedding deposits back. I certainly wouldn’t want to spend the rest of my life, or at least (more realistically) a couple of years, with a guy who makes out with randoms at bars.

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67 Responses to “Luann de Lesseps defends her choice to marry cheating fiance: crazy?”

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  1. Merchant Smearer says:

    Great! Isn’t she the housewife that said money doesn’t buy you class? Congrats on the nuptials, Luann!

  2. Birdie says:

    Girl, he will do it again. He disrespected you openly. She seems desperate and I feel a bit sorry for her, because she fiercely holds on to a bad relationship. Lots of people have been there but I wasn’t stupid enough to marry the dude.

    • RandomChatter says:

      She’s going to regret marrying him. He’s already cheated when they first got engaged? While Bethenny could have handled this better, she was in a no win situation; Luann hates her for telling her about this. If he cheats later in their marriage and this came out she’ll hate Bethenny for not telling her then. Nobody wins.

  3. JaneDoesWork says:

    So I binge watched this season withe the finale two days ago and it was CRAZY. Long story short, this guy also lied about going out on dates with her friend AND about a 10 year friends with benefits situation with another friend.

    But LuAnn has been obnoxious about those being “before Lu so who cares”, well this was during Lu and she’s still in denial. She’s just desperate to get married and be happy that she’s willing to live in this mirage and tell herself it’s real. It’s super sad. After being found out he tried to get another of the girls to lie for him despite the photographic evidence, when she refused he screamed at her and said she couldn’t be friends with LuAnn anymore.

    It’s like they go to the Justin Beiber school for behavior where anyone who raises rational concern is a “hater.” LuAnns doodled his name on all her binders and doesn’t want to buy new ones, so yeah they’re still getting married. It’s nuts!!!

    • Evie says:

      I watch RHONY religiously (I know…i know… haha) and Tom has been problematic all season long. It would be one thing if this was the first instance of bad behavior, but the downplaying of his relationships with Ramona and Sonja (who had a 10 year FWB relationship! 10 years is such a long period of time to try to pass off as a one nighter) makes him seem like he has the potential to hide/lie about so much more.

      And I don’t understand why it being ‘out in the open’ makes it better?? I would think my fiance making out with some random in the middle of a crowded bar that we frequent all the time and all of our friends hang out at would be 10 times worse than if he was doing it somewhere else.

      Luann’s constant insistence that they’re “in love” seems more like she’s trying to convince herself than convince her friends. She deserves better. I know she doesn’t want to be alone and she loves being in love, but she doesn’t need to settle for someone who disrespects her like that.

    • nikko says:

      I watched the show too. Luann wants to me married so bad especially after the french guy (cant remember his name) broke up with her. She’s desperate. When they say love is blind, the’re talking about Luann. He’s a loser and I hope she sees it before they get married. Plus I wouldn’t want to give up my Countess status if I was her. That’s enough there for me not to get married again.

      • ladysussex says:

        I hope she wises up before she marries him too! I really hope she takes time alone to really reflect on her life. I think she needs to end that relationship and also RHONYC. Because those ladies are not her friends (except possibly Dorinda) and they relished in Tom humiliating her. I just really feel sorry for the example she’s setting for her children.

      • smith says:

        The “French guy” only broke up with her because she courted and slept with some random Johnny Depp lookalike (during the hot years – not how he looks now lol) on St. Bart’s and it all played out during one of the RH story arcs.

        She then tried to convince her friend to lie and say she had been with a group of Italian friends, not alone with budget Depp.

        Do these folks forget that the cameras are rolling?? I mean, there is filmed proof of the entire thing going down. This woman is a poster-child for how not to do things.

        In fact all of the HW’s are cautionary tales lol …

      • FuefinaWG says:

        The French guy is/was Jacques …

  4. QueenB says:

    why would a playboy model make out with THAT guy?

    • Snowflake says:

      Yeah, that’s the question we should be pondering!

    • MCraw says:

      He might be the owner of some fancy supermarket chain here in NYC, if his surname is any indication. Maybe she wanted coupons?

      • Whatabout says:

        He’s not from that family. Something the other women questioned, was his actual net worth. They claimed he has a reputation for going after wealthy women and making them pay for everything.

      • Hannah says:

        @Whatabout He’s not from that family? Where does his supposed money come from then?

      • Whatabout says:

        @hannah sorry I’m late getting back to you! Luann just did an interview with people magazine and she said he wasn’t from the D’Agnostio grocery store. I think it’s still up on

    • Delta Juliet says:

      Money. It’s always money.

    • Lucky jane says:

      Ahhh… You guys beat me to it! I just wondered how he got some hot chick to make out with him!!

      • CoKatie says:

        It gets worse: He left said “hot chick” to pick up the tab! What a winner …

      • QueenB says:

        @CoKatie: lol that almost makes me respect him. “why not go out tonight, make out with a woman way out of my league and get some free drinks?”

    • Denise says:

      Playboy models? Who else are they going to get? They are preyed upon by creepy guys with money.

    • RandomChatter says:

      For the money. How do you think guys like Mick Jagger and Slash get chicks?

  5. Clare says:

    Right..who is surprised by this?
    These woman aren’t and never have been beacons of morality, have they? Isn’t she the same person who slept with a married man in one of the seasons and saw no issue with that? I mean yeah its the married man’s responsibility not to cheat…but…not surprised by latest shenanigans

    • greenmonster says:

      Yip, I think it was last season or the one before. Wasn’t Tom also on a date with another woman when he met Luann and left the party with HER? When the other women called her out on that, she just said it was Tom’s decision. But when it is her, who is betrayed, than poor, drunken Tom fell into the clutches (her words, not mine) of another woman. Of course it wasn’t Tom’s fault because he was upset, because he and Luann had a fight. On top of that, along comes this harlot and seduces him into a kiss aka making out for over an hour.

      Some people speculate that Luann wants to get a spin-off. If that is not going to happen, chances are this “relationship” comes to an end pretty soon. So far, I don’t even think it is real. It isn’t the first time he approached one of the women. You can spot him in the first season when he tried to flirt to one of Ramona’s friends. Then he had a ten year beneficial relationship to Sonja, before he went out with Ramona and finally landed Luann. This is so wrong on so many levels.

      • Evie says:

        Speaking of spin off, why did Luann get that ‘getting to know the Countess’ special episode? At first I thought they’d do each NY housewife or maybe it was something they were planning for multiple HWs from all the franchises, but it looks like they just did one for Luann.

      • ladysussex says:

        I hope she wises up before she marries him too! I really hope she takes time alone to really reflect on her life. I think she needs to end that relationship and also RHONYC. Because those ladies are not her friends (except possibly Dorinda) and they relished in Tom humiliating her. I just really feel sorry for the example she’s setting for her children.

  6. Naya says:

    Never seen any of the Housewive shows but wouldnt this be straight out of the reality show scripting playbook. Now she has a more prominent storyline that she can milk for years. A few episodes on the fall out. A few more on how they are rebuilding the trust. A special episode where she comes face to face with the girl. A few on how she has renewed suspicions. A special episode where her suspicion is confirmed. Rinse and Repeat.

    • LAK says:


      I used to be addicted to RHOBH until it became too screechy aka season 4. Plus the recaps on were amazing. They also recap NYC and i was persuaded to start watching it.

      It’s scripted and you can see the wheels turning as they fight for screen time which means more money every single time they negotiate new contracts. Bravo is ruthless and shameless in encouraging these women to behave badly or worse by giving them annual contracts without guarantee that they will be returned if they do not create drama.

  7. Jenns says:

    Remember in season one how she tried to pass herself off as an expert on class? LOL.

    • ladysussex says:

      Remember the seasons she tried to pass herself off as a singer? Seems she’s always trying to pass herself off as something other than what she is.

  8. Grace says:

    Here is my question: how do those people who LOVE holding onto bad relationships always find seemingly obvious douchebags of the year – and the douchebags actually stick around? It always amazes me.

    • Birdie says:

      Some are just addicted to the drama. They wouldn’t even know how to handle a nice, good guy.

    • Lahdidahbaby says:

      The douchebags like to be on TV. They don’t seem to know the diff between famous and infamous.

  9. Alix says:

    Does she still use the title “Countess”, which she lost the right to use after her divorce?

    And she’s an idiot for marrying this d-bag. But you know that already.

    • greenmonster says:

      She still is a Countess, she didn’t lose the title after the divorce. But she will no longer be the Countess when she marries this guy. That is the main reason I believe this wedding is not going to happen. She is making money with her title.

      • Alix says:

        On the contrary, she did lose it because her ex remarried. Only one titleholder at a time, please.

    • ladysussex says:

      What’s strange is that NO ONE who holds the title of Countess is called “Countess Firstname”. It’s just not the protocol. She would be called The Countess of Nameoftownshehasatitlefor or Lady Nameoftownshehasatitlefor But then again, the French did away with their aristocracy more than 200 years ago. So her ex (and thereby herself) is only using a long gone, defunked title.

  10. Neelyo says:

    I went away for several seasons and came back for this one because a friend said it was nuts. Watching it, I am convinced the Countess’ relationship is built on a shared cocaine addiction. The manic energy, raspier than usual voice….she always looks hopped up.

    • Jen43 says:

      That’s an interesting theory. I hadn’t watched for years, either, but caught up a bit from all the recap reviews. Her personality is nothing like it was in Season 2 or 3. She giggles way too much. She’s either crazy in love in a Tom Cruise couch jumping way, or you may be on to something. No course, the way these shows are edited it is hard to know what these people are really like. Season 3/Scary Island was a classic.

    • EM says:

      She sounds like that because she smokes. Her face is showing the cigarettes, as is Dorinda’s.

      • Suzanne says:

        Yes…I commented yesterday that she’s aged….noticeably this year. She was nuts on that episode on the boat. Giddy as hell…who knows…I think and maintain she is desperate. She drug men home on every trip they ever went on…so she is no “saint” and certainly lacks the “class” she claims to have. Living in Europe doesn’t automatically give you class…it will help you recognize what class is….but by no means did it provide Luann with any other than her title…which she’s worn thin with her behavior.

    • Michelina says:

      I used to like this show, but it’s such a cesspool now. There are rumors of Dorinda and John being coke heads, so maybe Luann is also. I always find it so odd how they all date the same men. I wouldn’t want anything with a man who was with one of my friends, let alone the whole group. They make bad decisions, and this is why the drama-hungry douche Andy Cohen gave them a TV show.

  11. Barrett says:

    I got sucked into an expo on Luanne’s life she is similar to Tom and would be better in a European open relationship and too admit it to herself. She was in a serious relationship living w a man in Europe when she met the count at a party and she went home left the boyfriend a note and went off w the count. She eloped soon after and she’s always having sex w ransoms and denying it on the show.

    She shouldn’t fool herself ab real love w this guy bc shed desperate. She and this guy should go their separate ways or agree to open relationship

  12. greenmonster says:

    Can someone tell me why it is called European relationship?

    • Barrett says:

      Historically in Europe wealthy married for $ but had agreed upon open marriages w side pieces.

    • LAK says:

      It’s shorthand for stereotype that Europeans have extra marital relationships whilst happily married/long term with someone they have no intention of leaving. Everyone is happy and content as long as they accept this type of arrangement which can go on for years.

    • Jen43 says:

      This will insult all of Europe, but I think it refers to an open relationship. I will allow you to sleep with other people, but don’t embarrass me.

      I have t watched this show for years, but IIRC, she and her previous husband (the Count!) had an open relationship. Both were allowed to have side pieces. She used to get testy when anyone brought it up.

  13. lem says:

    it was not a secret that she was having affairs left and right during her marriage to the count (and so was he allegedly) so honestly, i don’t think she really cares. i doubt she’s being 100% faithful either.

  14. HK9 says:

    Bethany said that Luann needs to ‘run like a thief in the night’ from this guy. I never thought I’d see the day that I’d agree with Bethany but damn, if you’re going to marry a guy who’s favourite pastime is to have ‘fun’ with others whenever you turn your back you have to know that this will not end well.

  15. MinnFinn says:

    Not crazy but she apparently 1. doesn’t want to be single 2. likes living well 3. is not able to earn her own living.

  16. EM says:

    She deserves what she gets.She doesn’t come across as a likeable human being. She even cheated on her French boyfriend a couple of seasons back. It’s not like we’re talking about a person with morals.

  17. Lucy says:

    Am I the only one who sees some slight Leann on Luann?

  18. JudyK says:

    Almost embarrassed to admit that this is the ONLY housewife show that I am hopelessly addicted to. I actually like Bethenny for the first time ever–never thought I’d say that.

    LuAnn gets on my nerves for a variety of reasons, but the main reason is that she does not listen to other people; she is always focused on herself. In an earlier episode, she and Jules were outside talking and Jules was telling LuAnn how her father was in the hospital dying. LuAnn never responded to Jules’ comments about her father, but instead responded by talking about how rude someone had been to her.

    This is a shallow comment, but she’s always saying her hair is just like Bethenny’s. No, LuAnn, it is NOTHING like Bethenny’s. Bethenny’s is stylish and cute, and your hair is FRUMPY.

    • Evie says:

      Omg, I agree! I could not believe how self absorbed Luann was being when Jules’ dad was literally in a life or death situation. And it wasn’t just once, SEVERAL TIMES she’d repeat it, as if that was more important that what Jules was going through.

      I’ve never really cared much for Bethenny either, but this season she’s been one of my favorite HWs.

  19. Bridget says:

    She’s 51 and in NY. Pickings among the rich are slim and she wants to get married and have that financial security. Of course she’s not kicking him to the curb.

    • JudyK says:

      She has more money than he has, although both she and her fiancé are rich in their own right. She just wants to be married to say she’s married.

      • Bridget says:

        I side eye most of the Housewives and their financial positions, unless they’re in it specifically for business exposure. Because if you really have money and social standing, you’re not going to be on a Real Housewives show.

  20. Mamunia says:

    Luanne is so desperate for a man, any man that this doesn’t phase her one bit. It took about 10 minutes before she went from “I’m so devastated” to “Stay out of my business.” She is detestable on the show because she falls back on her “I’m a countess and so much better than you routine” on a regular basis. Actually, after watching the show for years, I think she’s gotten just the rotten husband she deserves and I hope that they do marry.

  21. Margo S. says:

    The money is her soul mate. Not the cheater.

  22. Hummus says:

    Going from Jacques to this tom guy is such a downgrade, but someone above mentioned a shared cocaine addiction and I’m starting to agree. I’m so happy RHONY is getting covering on this site! I hate hate Bethenny Frankel this season she tries to steal EVERY scene and tells people off for doing exactly the same thing she does she is soooo unlikeable! She made 3 episodes of the show about Tom cheating on Lu all about HER! As annoying as Luann is, she sees through Bethenny which is why I think she doesn’t listen when b talks, she knows b is just trying to dictate the narrative of the show

  23. Pandy says:

    New this year to NY housewives but two years in on Bev Hills wives. (I know). Luann is an idiot. Not a chance they will make it to the nuptials. And while I suspect this plot line is scripted, I do believe they at least smoke a joint before some of their scenes. So harder drug use wouldn’t surprise me. Bethenny’s shaking hand drinking grey goose from the bottle. So not fake lolllll.

  24. Noor88 says:

    I am truly amazed that someone would actually “make out” with this mantoad, let alone marry him.

  25. my3cents says:

    If this is an actual real relationship- they deserve each other.
    He is sketchy and disgusting, as is she in her own way.
    Good luck kids- milk it for all its worth, your 15 minutes are ticking down…

  26. DesertReal says:

    I’ve been shame-watching RHONY since the beginning, & It’s always been pretty clear that Lu is an open type of broad.
    Open marriage with her first husband, she cheated on her ex Jacques, & when this happened… I think chica was just embarrassed and upset that he was so indiscreet. It’s not a deal breaker for her because she likes keeping things open as long as the respect/understanding of discression is followed by everyone involved.

  27. wow says:

    Well she’s a grown ass adult who’s been married before…to another cheater….so it’s not like she doesn’t know what she’s getting into. If she’s up to still marrying this fool, then no one else should really be concerned about her choice. She’s the only one who has to;deal with any of the humiliation that being married to him could be. So hey, as the saying goes, if she likes it, I love it.