Katherine Heigl and her husband are ‘hugely relieved’ to be having a boy

Premiere Of IFC Film's "Jenny's Wedding" At 2015 Outfest Los Angeles LGBT Film Festival
Grey’s Anatomy alum Katherine Heigl is expecting her third child, a boy, with her hubby, singer Josh Kelley, in January. The child will be joining adopted daughters Naleigh, 7, and Adalaide, 4, in the Heigl/Kelley clan.

Although the 37-year-old actress cleared the air with her Knocked Up co-star Seth Rogen a few weeks ago, she is still ranked #24 on Star Magazine’s “Most Hated Celebrities” list. Katherine is making a return to the small screen on the new CBS legal drama, Doubt, co-starring the amazing Laverne Cox (whom I still love despite her participation in FOX’s new Rocky Horror abomination). Katherine recently talked to InTouch about her pregnancy and while she didn’t offer any earth-shattering revelations about the miracle of birth, she did spill the beans about why her hubby is “relieved” that they’re having a boy.

On pregnancy: “I’m just tired and hungry. I’m hungry for doughnuts every day. And if you put a cinnamon roll in front of me, it’s going to get ugly.”

On the best advice she’s received: “the thing that I’m taking to heart is to get as much rest as I can.”

On family life during pregnancy: “The weekends are like, ‘Okay, where are we going for brunch?’ and then it’s, ‘Where are we going for dinner?’ The other day I came home to a bouquet of flowers and a really sweet note from the kids that I’m sure [Josh] made them write.”

Hubby Josh on having a boy: “His brother had a boy last February, and they’re already talking about their golf foursome.”

[From InTouch]

I’ve not had kids of my own, but I can only assume pregnancy would make anyone tired and hungry, right? It seems like Katherine is trying to overhaul her public image, so good on you, girl, I guess. She did recently confess on her lifestyle/crafting blog, Those Heavenly Days, that before she knew she was pregnant, she converted her daughters’ former nursery into a craft room. She reposted the image of her new (now temporary) crafting room to Instagram with the caption, “So I turned the nursery into my craft room before I realized I was expecting a new family member. Bad timing, awesome new craft room!” Okay, that’s kind of endearing.

Katherine told Howard Stern back in April (when she was hopefully not yet pregnant) that she was still smoking, but that she was trying meditation and vaping in an attempt to quit. I certainly hope she has quit and can stay away from the ciggies after having her son. Second-hand smoke is no joke.

CBS, CW, Showtime Summer 2016 TCA Party

A pregnant Katherine Heigl goes out to lunch with her husband Josh Kelley and their two daughters Adalaide and Naleigh

Pregnant Katherine Heigl Out For Lunch With Her Mother

Photo credit: WENN.com, FameFlynet

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

69 Responses to “Katherine Heigl and her husband are ‘hugely relieved’ to be having a boy”

Comments are Closed

We close comments on older posts to fight comment spam.

  1. minx says:

    That’s nice. It just seems like an off-the-cuff comment, not any statement that boys are more desirable than girls. They do have two daughters, so….
    She’s not particularly my favorite person but I wish her family well.

  2. Brunswickstoval says:

    You can see the smoke damage in her face Hope she kicks it. Seen way too many kids with asthma from parents smoking.

    • Sabrine says:

      Smoking really ages the face, those vertical lines you get around the mouth and the leathery skin. Plus my friend’s mother was told by her doctor that her bladder cancer was probably due to smoking. What a terrible habit and I can’t imagine sending those chemicals like nicotine to an unborn baby.

    • Christin says:

      I don’t understand why she’d smoke, due to what we know about its effects (both for the user and those around them — especially kids).

      That would explain why she looks older than her age (and it’s not just styling).

      • TheOtherMaria says:

        Because it’s an addiction and most smokers HATE that they smoke– between your own internal mantra of “this is so bad for me, I need to quit” and society looking down on you from their altars of self righteousness, trust me, very few smokers do it because they like it 😒

        Also, everyone assumes she smokes around her kids, before I quit, I sat outside to get my fix only to immediately wash my hands and chew gum; I know many conscientious smokers, I don’t know the woman, but I’ve no reason to think she’d smoke in the same room as her girls.

  3. Syko says:

    I don’t think she’s particularly stating that boys are preferable to girls either. As someone who had two daughters, then several miscarriages, I was also hugely relieved when the third was a boy, because I simply wanted at least one of each gender, and achieving that meant I didn’t have to keep wanting.

    • minx says:

      We’re supposed to say “it doesn’t matter, as long as the baby is healthy.” And of course that’s true, and of course you love your baby no matter what.
      I had a boy first, then a miscarriage, then I was pregnant again. I was an older mother so I knew this would be my last. When the doctor called and said my amnio results were fine, and did we want to know the sex of the baby? I said yes and she said “It’s a girl.”
      Seventeen years later I can still remember that exact moment and how ecstatic I was.

      • vaultdweller101 says:

        I had that moment, too. I’ve always wanted daughters. Maybe that’s wrong or selfish, but I was so deliriously excited when it actually worked out like that.

    • QueenB says:

      ” I simply wanted at least one of each gender”
      but thats the point, why would that matter? girls and boys are not different. you also dont know how they will identify later on anyway.

      • Msmlnp says:

        If you think that girls and boys are no different, I encourage you to come to my home and watch my 3 boys under 10. The wrestling and torture is epic. I have sisters, and I have friends with all girls, and there is most certainly a difference.
        Most people will identify with the gender respective of their sex, correct? I say that not unkindly. Perhaps my wild boys will want to identify as female when they are older. But looking at them now, i am near 100%sure that won’t be true.

      • Celebwatch says:

        It’s true that a child may identify differently than his/her bio gender, but it’s generally not true that boys and girls are not different. This was a big surprise to me actually since I grew up with the line that boys and girls are the same and it’s all social conditioning if you think they are. Then I became a mom and hung out with a bunch of moms and kids. There are some strong tendencies that become apparent early on. Like boys and their obsession with trucks etc. Ime it has little to do with parents pushing it on them either. Also the energy levels tend to be different. There are exceptions but “typical” boys and girls are very common.

      • QueenB says:

        because society and parents raise boys differently. this whole “women are from venus” stuff harms half of our society. the thought that men and women are different is one of the causes of inequality.

      • fruitloops says:

        Men and women are different, but that doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t be equal. Just as a simple example, most men are phisically stronger than most women, that’s just biology, but women shouldn’t be treated like they are inferior just because of that.
        Re children and boys and girls, I’ll just assume that you don’t have kids, at least not of both genders. There is nature and there is nurture, but it can’t be only nature or only nurture so you can’t just say that boys like trucks because parents buy them trucks, it is in their nature, for most of them at least. And as an example from above- boys like to fight for fun, they like war games, most girls don’t and that’s not what parents teach them, it’s how they are.
        It’s generally a complex discussion but you are simplifying things and making a wrong point.

      • Angel says:

        Fruitloops, Celebwatch What you each said, very tactfully and truthfully

      • Syko says:

        I believe that identifying as the opposite of the sex you were born with is an exception, not the rule. Despite the media attention, it is not that common. Boys and girls ARE different, and I say “vive la difference”. My son at 9 months picked up one of his sisters’ toy cars and just knew that you make a “vroom” sound when you push it along the floor. And while I would have been perfectly happy with a third daughter, I was delighted when #3 turned out to be male and I could buy little boy clothes and watch my child turn into a man. It’s an odd thing – you expect your daughters to turn into women, but it’s just astonishing that your baby boy turns into a man. I am trying very hard not to appear sexist here, because that is not who I am. But there are biological differences, and it’s fun to have both in your family.

      • Fire Rabbit says:

        Lol. Yes, they are different, that’s just the way it is. And it’s OK too. Both males and females have strengths and weaknesses as well as a lot of overlap that is just being human. The trouble starts when one insists it’s Better Than and tries to subjugate and regulate the others, disrepecting the differences. Pretending everything is 100%, absolutely, “the same” is not helpful and devalues everyone in the end.

      • Elian says:

        @QueenB, Syko is correct. Look at the statistics. Gender dysphoria is actually still incredibly rare despite the attention the media pays. To say you don’t know how your child will identify later in life is an assumption that isn’t backed up by the numbers. Most children will continue to identify as the gender they were born with, and there absolutely are huge differences that are apparent from infancy on. This is a good thing, a beautiful thing.

      • QueenB says:

        so boys naturally know how to make vroom sounds? did neanderthal boys know that too?
        http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/09/05/boys-and-girls-not-as-different-as-we-thought/

        also because trans people are a minority we shouldnt watch our words?

      • April says:

        I appreciate what you are saying about boys and girls being the same, and on an equality level, they should be. But they aren’t the same experience when it comes to your kids. I have three – two girls and a boy. I don’t think we push any gender roles on any of them – he’s our middle child – so he had a lot of hand me down stuff from his older sister, and his younger sister has a lot of hand me down stuff from him. All of them played with whatever toys happened to be laying around at the moment when they were little, which could vary from legos and trucks to dolls and barbies. But trust me, especially when they start hitting their milestones at an older age, the experiences you go through with a boy and with a girl are VERY different. So it’s nice to get to experience both sides of the coin.

        And don’t get me wrong, one or all of my kids may decide that they identify more with the opposite gender – and if that happens, I will still love them to the end of the earth and back. But a first date, first kiss, possible marriage one day – all of those things would STILL be a different experience from going through it with my daughters than it would be with my son if he was trans… or if one of my girls was trans, it would be a different experience from going through it all with him. Because it’s just different. Not better or worse… but different. It’s ok to acknowledge that it’s a different experience with different genders when it comes to your children – it’s not anyone saying anything about a boy being “better” than girl or vice versa.

      • Syko says:

        Did you just come here to pick a fight, QueenB? Because, honestly, you are beating a dead horse here. I did not say anything at all against transgender people, if you do not feel you belong in a fe/male body, then live your life as you choose to live it, I will support your choice. But there is a biological difference between male and female, and it’s a beautiful difference. That does not mean unequal treatment for the sexes, it does not mean one is better than the other, it only means there is a difference. And some of us wanted to experience being a parent to both male and female children.

        My daughters know how to tune up cars. My son is a better cook than either of my daughters. I tried hard to treat all the kids equally, and I think any one of them will tell you that I succeeded, although the oldest insists she had more time-outs than the baby did. She’s probably right, you relax as you gain experience being a parent. :) But there is absolutely nothing wrong with preferring that your next child be male or female. I had a girl first. Yes, I would have liked to have a boy next, but I had a second girl, and she was no less loved, no less cherished, than a boy would have been. By the third child, I really wanted a little boy. I can understand Heigl’s statement because of that.

      • Pinetree13 says:

        I understand queen B. People always say sexist stuff to us about how “it must be so much easier having a little girl now because they’re so much calmer”. Since we had a boy first. Um my son likes to sit quietly and play puzzles …my daughter is a wild child! Loud, climbing everything, wrestles with kids way bigger than her, is only a tot but will attack kids that have toys she wants.

        I definitely think people project way too much gender bias onto kids. I had a pregnant friend tell me she wanted a boy because she loves camping and quading. I marvelled at the cognitive dissonance at that one. “Aren’t you female!?!” I asked her! “You enjoy those things! And you don’t know what your child will be into. You can have a boy that hates outdoor activities!!!” She sheepishly agreed.
        People have so much confirmation bias when it comes to this. They buy “girl toys” for girls and “boy toys for boys” children pick up on the subtle cues of your big smile when they pick up a truck and maybe slightly smaller smile when your son picks up a doll. These subtle things shape them not some innate “truck-love” gene. Then later When the child later prefers those things they go “see?! It’s natural!” When really it’s what we’ve encouraged them to do. You know what me and my sister were obsessed with?! Dinosaurs and ninga turtles and sailor moon. May or may not be related but we both work in STEM fields now as adults.

      • S says:

        If boys and girls were not different, then gender dysphoria wouldn’t be a thing. There are biological differences between the genders, which vary in degree from person to person and are differently expressed in transgendered people. Is not recognizing that the same as “I don’t see race”?

      • fruitloops says:

        @pinetree13, you are contradicting your point by saying that girls who play with toys for boys (ninja turtles, dinosaurs…) are smart and work in STEM fields because you’re implying that those are boys’ fields and you can only be interested in them of you were interested in boys’ toys. Also it’s insulting as it is insinuating that women who played with dolls aren’t interested in STEM fields. (I played school with bunch of my dolls and stuffed animals and am an engineer now. The girliest girl I’ve ever known, who went to beuty pageants in high school,is one of the best mathematicians I’ve met and by her 30th birthday she was department manager at the biggest bank in our country)

      • Mae says:

        Agreed @Pinetree13 Being loud and enjoying play fighting isn’t an inherently boyish trait. I enjoyed those things. Children are also exposed to media and advertising and all sorts of signals in their environment that can influence them to make certain choices. That’s why people always harp on representation in the media and getting more women into STEM. Children need to see those examples, because there is a psychological impact.

        @fruitloops: She also said they played with sailormoon, ie/ it was a mix of different toys. I don’t really see the implication you’re seeing. It sounds more like she was raised to be free to be interested in whatever she wanted, and so she didn’t see STEM as inherently for men. Just like ninjas and dinosaurs aren’t boy toys, STEM professions are man jobs. There was no insult to dolls either, she liked sailormoon too. I think her point was that there are no inherently boyish or girly toys or jobs, they should be open and encouraged equally for everyone.

    • Shelly says:

      Oh my good lord
      You must not be a parent to both boys and girls
      You want to know where they are really different? Puberty!
      Boys can be special til about 18 or so, Girls? ultra special til about 22
      This is from the mother point of view
      my husband has the opposite experience
      But both of us agree that boys were easier in general

      And one of my boys is gay. He adored trucks, cars, dinosaurs, dirt and power rangers and ALL nerf weapons.

  4. Ankhel says:

    She looks very beautiful and glowing in that white dress. Pregnancy suits her, and I guess she has wanted it for a long time, so good for her.

  5. Ji-yun says:

    Eh, my mom had three girls and she was so happy when she had my brother. I don’t read much into it. It’s just another type of experience. I mean, so often when kids imagine their future grown up selves and families they go “I want two kids, one of each”.

    • QueenB says:

      if it was “another type of experience” it would mean that women and men are different and thats not the case. thoughts like that lead to women being discriminated against in STEM for example.

      • Ji-Yun says:

        Oh, please. That’s not what I meant.

        But I’ll go tell my mom that she’s contributing to the lack of women in STEM by her attitude, which she has ingrained in me, obviously, and that she should be ashamed of herself and I of myself. Also, not that it makes a dot of difference, but I work in STEM. As do my siblings. So take your signposting elsewhere.

      • fruitloops says:

        Lol, my parents were very happy to learn that I was a girl after they had my brother because they wanted one of each and lo and behold, I work in STEM too, my brother doesn’t. LOL

      • Fire Rabbit says:

        So I have to hand in my lab coat because my Mother let me play with dolls and play house as a little girl? I have a STEM degree regardless. And why do women have to be exactly the same as men anyway? Your very stance itself implies that women are somehow lesser than. That being a woman is a problem. To be equal we have to be the same because we are just not worthy otherwise. It’s insulting TBH.

      • Who ARE These People? says:

        I was the last and I was a wanted girl after boys and I work in STEM too. I was better in math than all the men in my family; so was my mother. Sometimes parents just want a mix, without any bias involved. Sometimes a father wants someone “like him,” or a mother wants someone “like her.” Sometimes it’s about the clothing and activities, sometimes not.

      • PrincessMe says:

        Well I work in STEM as well and my grandmother (she raised me) was happy that I was a little girl after having 7 sons herself. I was always encouraged to find something that I like and work towards that, no matter what (which I did). I wanted to have a boy and girl as well – doesn’t mean I would have loved any other combination less, but it was just a nice idea to have a mix. Even though my children are still young, I encourage both of them the same way my family encouraged me – find something you like and work on that. I provide information and support to them, but I do not make suggestions or tell them what they need to become.
        My son said he wants to be a doctor, so I told him about what they do and bought him a stethoscope. My daughter is in love with it and now she wants to be a doctor too (I’m sure they’ll both change their minds a million times since they’re just 6 and almost 3). So just because I wanted to have the experience of both, doesn’t mean I’m shortchanging anyone.

      • Ji-Yun says:

        @QueenB from these responses I think you have your answer. You were making the most out of the least, and most of that was reaching.

        And for the other responders: hello fellow sisters in STEM! Nice to hear all your stories.

      • Keats says:

        Hello!! My parents were excited to find out I was a girl after having already had a son. They, like Ji-Yun’s mom, enforced gender stereotypes so badly that I regularly played with both dolls AND dinosaurs, and now I work in STEM.

      • Mae says:

        I see what you’re saying. It should be their own personality and interests which determine what they get involved in, not preconceived ideas about how a girl or boy should spend their time. If a parent starts off with the idea that the experiences will be different because of gender, as opposed to personality, then I think that could be problematic. It is true though, that some personality traits appear more in one gender than the other, but that is on a large population scale, and you don’t know where your kid will fall on the bell-curve. I think kids should be free to explore whatever interests, whether they’re considered traditionally female or male, and parents shouldn’t expect their daughter will love clothes and shopping and then want a boy for sports and math, or whatever. It also sounds like some people just want a mix of genders for no particular reason.

  6. BeBeA says:

    I get it, I have two girls and one boy. My son used to tell me almost every day that he wanted a brother so that he won’t be the only boy in the house. I pulled him to the side and told him that not how it works and that there is a 50 percent chance that we could get another one of those ( point to the girls who were dress in full frozen outfits, having a tea party, using his yugioh cads as napkins). He quickly said never mind can I have a pet instead. Lol , yep and we will name it brother!

    • Scarlet Vixen says:

      @BeBeA: I’ve had pretty much that exact conversation in my house. :) I had a boy, then a girl, decided I was done, then wound up having another girl (surprise!). My son begged me for 3 years to have another baby so he can have a brother and I would often say, “We don’t get to pick.” I guess he didn’t believe me, because he decided to do his own research. I was SO NOT prepared when my 7yr old randomly asked me how “So, how does the dad’s sperm actually get to the mom’s egg, and how does that become a girl or boy?”
      I was a tomboy growing up and I’ve tried to raise my children as gender neutrally as possible (my son had a baby doll and toy kitchen right alongside his Hot Wheels, etc). But, my daughters are SO girly that I don’t often know what to do with them! They constantly ask me to play Barbies or tea party and I’m like, “Uh…I’ve changed their clothes…now what?” I wanted to buy Lego for my daughter because my son LOVES Lego, and she requested ‘girl Lego.’ I didn’t even know that was a thing. But, now that they’re a little older all 3 kids will go ride bikes together, or play Battleship, or things that my son expected a ‘little brother to do.’

      • benchwarmer says:

        I really enjoyed your post and lol at your comment about you playing Barbie, “now what? and the “girl lego” lol.

  7. Gena says:

    Okay, I had literally no idea she was pregnant. When did this all happen?

    I also always think it’s weird that adults push gender stereotypes onto their unborn kids. Maybe on of their daughters will absolutely love golfing. Maybe their son will hate it. She can’t predict that.

    • K says:

      OMG, I think it is sweet that this man has something he wants to do with his son. Yes he could do it with his daughters too and probably will but more then likely he is just talking and excited to have another child.

  8. Locke Lamora says:

    Why mention her girls are adopted? I know it was because this is her first pregnancy, but it always irks me when magazines specify adopted kids/parents.

    • Who ARE these people? says:

      Thank you Locke. It is irksome, unnecessary and sometimes diminishing so I hope your comment is heeded.

      It’s hard enough for kids to be rejected or abandoned but to be reminded of their “otherness” in a family is just rubbing salt in a wound. In a time when we try to be more sensitive about names and descriptions, why is this still acceptable?

    • sealit says:

      I was adopted. My brother is biologically my parents’. I’m not offended.

    • Colette says:

      In this instance where the interview is about her first pregnancy ,I don’t have an issue with mentioning her other children were adopted.But in general it annoys me when it is unrelated to the story.
      I remember when Bob Hope died at 100.The reports mentioned his “adopted” children.His children were adopted in the 1940′s and still labeled adopted.I know they were adopted but do obits ever list children as “biological” children? I don’t like the double standards.

      • Who ARE These People? says:

        It didn’t add anything to the story to specify that their first 2 kids were (not are) adopted, that’s how we know it doesn’t belong. The focus is on how she’s feeling, not how she’s feeling while pregnant as opposed to how she felt during the waiting time before adoption.

      • Colette says:

        If I didn’t know her two older kids were adopted I would be puzzled why she is getting pregnancy advice.If she had giving birth to her two older kids,would she need advice about how pregnancy affects her body? She would have first hand experience with pregnancy.

      • Who ARE These People? says:

        Then they could rewrite the story to explain, “Heigl, who adopted her first 2 children, is now learning what it means to get pregnancy advice.”

        Reporters still reflexively describe some children as “adopted” and the rest, not. The problem is they’re not thinking about the purpose of this qualifier.

  9. QueenB says:

    so he couldnt play golf with his daughter? its worrying how people still feel so good and cheeky enforcing gender roles.

    • Lyla says:

      Yeah, I don’t get that either. I play golf with my dad. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    • vaultdweller101 says:

      I played sports with my dad, too. I was an only child, though. For years, my dad would get comments about helping me with volleyball and softball, like insinuating that he was pushing me into sports because he couldn’t (or didn’t) have a son to do that stuff with. To this day, it makes my blood boil with rage.

    • Flowerchild says:

      He plays golf with his daughters thier are pictures of them playing together.

    • Colette says:

      No, he wants to play golf with a son and hopefully his son will be interested in golf like his daughters are.

    • nn says:

      Thats funny coming from you, Queenb seeing as you think blond men are less manly than dark haired men. Your words.
      Even brought out amature not so serious studies to prove your point. Why go out of your way to insult someones manhood and how can masculinity be determined by hair color but not by gender?

  10. I Choose Me says:

    No issues with her comment. My sister has two boys and is now hoping for a girl. Congrats to her and here’s hoping for a healthy baby.

    Also, I love her craft room. It’s simple yet pretty.

    • Sunshine Gold says:

      Agree. I know tons of people, myself included, who wanted one gender or the other. It’s perfectly normal.

  11. Who ARE these people? says:

    Please do not refer to children by adoption as ‘adopted’ unless there is a reason. It is not germane here. The baby will simply have 2 older sisters. It doesn’t matter how they joined the family.

    This is Journalism 101, like not referring to appearance or age unless it is germane.

    It is hurtful to adoptees to be singled out and separated like this, over and over. They are children, sons and daughters.

    • Colette says:

      What about in an instance where a woman is talking about her first experience with pregnancy? It gives her comments about getting advice about pregnancy context.Why is a women with two other children talking about pregnancy advice she is getting ,shouldn’t she already know since she has two older kids? Because her older two were adopted and this is her first pregnancy.

      • Who ARE These People? says:

        It would be fine, but that is not the focus of this story. It doesn’t add anything to specify how her daughters joined the family.

    • Courtney says:

      I’m adopted and I don’t think it’s offensive. It’s reality.

  12. vilebody says:

    I know I should be charmed by pregnancy stories and baby pictures and everything, but I don’t think I will ever not be annoyed by her. I cannot help but feel sorry for all the actors and actresses who won’t get the job because casting directors choose to give her a 7th shot.

  13. holly hobby says:

    She’s been trying to quit for years. Even back during the Grey days when she said vaping will help her quit.

    Good luck to her. I hope she learned something from the past. She should stop letting mommy dearest be her stylist though. Her style looks older than her.

  14. Gemma says:

    ‘The baby will simply have 2 older sisters. It doesn’t matter how they joined the family.’ Having a partner who is adopted, i would say it actually really can be in terms of how all their relationships may evolve and play out. I’m not saying it is a factor for all adoptees at all, but for a number of adoptees i have spoken to (i am an adoption social worker in England, as well as my partner being adopted), the birth of a biological child following adoption can be disturbing and destabilizing. This is maybe less uncommon than people think. I tend to think the whole issue is a bit ‘taboo’ and can make people feel uncomfortable, but that does not eradicate its existence and its need to be discussed more openly.

    My partner was adopted as a baby, and his parents adopted again a few years later, which he was absolutely fine with. He has had a wonderful upbringing and an unconditionally loving family, but the very fact he is adopted has modified his views on the expansion of family. It was well believed that his adoptive parents were infertile due to dad’s low sperm count; however, they have told my partner that they never used protection, just in case things did ‘naturally’ happen. My partner found this VERY difficult as a child, when he was told that there may be a biological child in the future. We have spoken at length about his experience of this. He stated the idea of a biological child caused an incredible amount of pain and anger for him as a child. As a 29 year old, he still finds this very difficult to talk about- it was his view that he would have had a lot of bitterness and anger towards any biological child that would have been born. His mum had not comprehended at all that a biological child would be such an issue for him, though maybe slightly gets it now. I tend to see this attitude quite often from adoptive parents in my job, especially adopters who have adopted children when they have been very young babies- they often tend not to see the children as ‘adopted’ given they have pretty much raised them from day dot, but that does not change the child’s origins and how their adoption is experienced by them personally. I really do feel that only adoptees can really ‘say it as it is’ so to speak yet, sadly, their voices are often the least heard in the adoption arena (again, because i think some of what is said can be uncomfortable for both adopters and birth family to hear).

    Anyhow, we discussed the matter further. My partner felt that should there be biological children in the family, if it is to be the least traumatic to an adopted child, they should be born *before* any other child is adopted. He felt that as an adoptee, this sort of ‘birth order’ could be incredibly symbolic- i think what he was getting at was that if you have biological children *after* adopting, it can feel like you are ‘not good enough’ and destabilises feelings of acceptance and authenticity; however, the other way round can rouse possibly more positive emotions and a more unabated acceptance for an adoptee. Again, i’m not trying to tar all adopted people with the same brush, but this is also a view that has been conveyed to me by other adopted people i work with in my social work role.

    I would say in this instance that it may be a very good thing that little one will be a boy, as it may help neutralise any potential issues that could arise out of the adoption/biological dichotomy. I do wonder if this is maybe something in Katherine’s mind, also, however, she may feel unable to air it so publicly.

    • Matchday says:

      Needs a TL;DR summary.

    • sittinginlimbo says:

      Gemma –
      My boyfriend is also adopted. Both he & his brother (not biologic) were adopted at birth & their parents (the ones that adopted them) never took precautions in the off chance that they could have a biological child of their own. The chance that his parents would have their own child was virtually none & they never did conceive but that never was an issue for my boyfriend or his brother. They both grew up in a loving family where they were NEVER treated like they weren’t biological family members. In fact, my boyfriend has met his birth parents & is HAPPY to have been adopted. His parents, the ones who adopted him, ARE his REAL parents. It is everyone else that is attaching the stigmas & the issues to the term “adopted” not the children that have actually been adopted. Most, I’m speaking of SEVERAL that I personally know, only take issue with how adoption is portrayed in the media & not with their personal experience with it.

  15. Susan says:

    Why can’t you have a golf foursome with your brother, nephew and DAUGHTER??

  16. Matchday says:

    I’ll be hugely relieved when she goes away permanently.

  17. sittinginlimbo says:

    Gemma –
    My boyfriend is also adopted. Both he & his brother (not biologic) were adopted at birth & their parents (the ones that adopted them) never took precautions in the off chance that they could have a biological child of their own. The chance that his parents would have their own child was virtually none & they never did conceive but that never was an issue for my boyfriend or his brother. They both grew up in a loving family where they were NEVER treated like they weren’t biological family members. In fact, my boyfriend has met his birth parents & is HAPPY to have been adopted. His parents, the ones who adopted him, ARE his REAL parents. It is everyone else that is attaching the stigmas & the issues to the term “adopted” not the children that have actually been adopted. Most, I’m speaking of SEVERAL that I personally know, only take issue with how adoption is portrayed in the media & not with their personal experience with it.