Spencer Pratt calls himself “The Great White” in new rap song

heidi and spencer 110509

Now I know to be seriously warned when Ryan Seacrest says, “I have something fresh for you.” This is both a threat and a promise. It’s nothing kind; despite the way Seacrest tries to hype it as something positive. “I have something fresh for you” – when coming from Ryan Seacrest – is akin to saying, “I’m going to make you want to reach into your ears, pull out your brain, and then lop your ears right off just for good measure to make sure you really, really cannot hear anymore.” But I could see how that’d be excessive, so naturally you’d just settle for “I have something fresh for you.”

And what is said freshness? Spencer Pratt’s new rap song (listen here), complete with epic lyrics like, “I’m in your iPhones taking over your Blackberries.” No you are not sir. Because 1) there are no Blackberries inside my iPhone and 2) I just buried my iPhone in three feet of concrete. I went mafia funeral on it.

Spencer Pratt is coming to a record store near you.

The Hills star released a new rap song, “I’m a Celebrity,” on Ryan Seacrest’s KIIS-FM radio show this morning. His stage name is “The Great White.”

“First I took over TV, the tabloids and the internet — now I’m going after the airwaves,” Pratt tells Usmagazine.com. “Nothing can stop ‘The Great White.'”

Lyrics include: “Baby I get paid…I’ve been around the world, but I’m still not finished yet…first Tweet of the day, I put my swag on…I’m in the limelight and I love it like my wife.”

Last month, Heidi Montag Pratt said she wants her husband to sing and rap on her pop record.

“Spencer Pratt is amazing,” she said. “I’d love to get him on my album. He sings, he raps — he does everything.”

[From Us Weekly]

K-Fed is better. I’m dead serious. Remember “Popozao?” That sh*t was legendary, Grammy-winning quality compared to Pratt’s rap vomit. At least Seacrest doesn’t sound thrilled with the song once he’s playing/enduring it. He’s normally so far up Heidi and Spencer’s asses that he can tell us just how white “The Great White” really is. But even he can’t seem to handle something this offensive to the ear. And tries to shirk the blame by claiming he’s just “the conduit.” For shame Seacrest.

He did point out that Heidi and Spencer are dangerous to have in the jungle (on “I’m A Celebrity, Get me Out of Here) because they’ll kill. And while Seacrest is joking, he’s got a point. There is literally nothing – nothing – they won’t do for attention. They have hawked absolutely every product known to man, just to get something for free that they could easily afford. Remember them randomly romping around a mattress store, of all things? And Taco Bell? There is nothing too low for them. Of course they would kill. I would rather face a pack of ravenous boars in the jungle than face Spencer Pratt. Not just ‘cause he’ll kill. But he’ll probably rap while he does it, so I’d end up offing myself before he even got the chance.

Here are Heidi and Spencer yesterday. WENN says they were taking Spencer’s mom out for Mother’s Day, however I’m inclined to think they got the credit wrong and that’s his grandmother (not an insult, just saying). Images thanks to WENN.com .

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16 Responses to “Spencer Pratt calls himself “The Great White” in new rap song”

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  1. ash says:

    I wouldn’t be upset at all if these 2 were actually buried in cement with their iPhones.

  2. jojo says:

    Please, for the sake of humanity, stop featuring these twits! They are worthless!

  3. TaylorB says:

    I can not stand that halfwit and his mentally challenged girlfriend, oops… I mean ‘wife’. I suspect it is just a matter of time until we “find out” they are actually brother and sister or some other equally disgusting load of garbage rumor they plant to get themselves into the tabloids yet again.

  4. How are they relevant? Why are they not the Phobe Price of the paparazzi? I read today that Spencer makes $1.2M off of the Hills alone, not to mention his famwhoring side jobs. I threw up a little in my mouth with that c”rap”

  5. Seven says:

    The Great Fail he should be called imo….

  6. NatalieW says:

    Spencer Pratt shouldn’t even be allowed to rap at all, let alone call himself “The Great White”. I’ve thought he was stupid for a while now, but good Lord…just give us a break already!

  7. loldongs says:

    The great white doucherocket.

    Yes.

    Absolutely.

  8. Julia says:

    The Great Prat(t) would have been a more fitting name in my opinion…

  9. ej says:

    LOL :))) seriously we should make a peticion for them to be banned from every media nobody wants to hear about them!!!

  10. the original kate says:

    he raps?! oh my god.

  11. TaylorB says:

    The original Kate said: ‘he raps?! oh my god.’

    While I don’t generally suggest that people inflict pain upon themselves, you really have GOT to listen to this. After the initial aural horror passes, you will laugh your patootie off.

  12. Hieronymus Grexx says:

    Makes me all stabby too…

  13. Shay says:

    The only positive to come out of our economy possibly colapsing is the revolt that will begin on these non-talented no-skill having fame whores.

  14. Brent says:

    Yeah…uh…what was that pathetic excuse of linguistics. I wonder if someone kicked him in the nuts so that his hairs stands up like that all the time…lol….THEY SHOULD HAVE NEVER GAVE THOSE FAMEWHORES MONEY!!!!

  15. SnakeEater says:

    Im sorry but I doubt he has the lyrical raw creativity,vocabulary, and the street smarts to be a succesful hip-hop artist. This guy wouldnt even shadow in comparison to Eminem. He is obviously doing anything to keep on the radar. They both are a bad joke trying to all of a sudden try and enter the music industry.

  16. Aleza says:

    what a sensational movement was that ……….