We’ve heard for years that Kristen Bell tries to get her children to think about others, to consider themselves part of the world and like everyone is family, and to give back to others. Dax told a story on a talk show about how Kristen gave away all their stuff, even the baby supplies, on their first trip to Cuba. Dax and Kristen have daughters Lincoln, three, and Delta, who turns two next month. Would it surprise you to learn that each girl gets to pick out three gifts for Christmas and that’s all they get? Kristen told this to Entertainment Tonight outside of the LA Christmas tree lighting on Sunday. She doesn’t get the presents though, she lets the grandparents get them because they love to spoil her kids. She also said that she’s just about to decorate for Christmas!
“Just before Halloween, [I] start thinking about Christmas,” the actress told ET’s Denny Directo at The Grove’s annual Christmas tree lighting ceremony in Los Angeles on Sunday. “It just makes you feel so good. My family was always really into Christmas and my husband and I decorate like crazy.”
“We start early,” the mom of two continued. “I just took the Christmas [light] boxes down. I haven’t put them up yet, but a lot of my neighbors have. I have really radical neighbors — the electric bill on my street, I cannot even fathom.”
Bell, 36, admitted that she and husband Dax Shephard may actually be more excited than their two daughters, who “do not really know what is going on.”
And when it comes to gifts, 3-year-old Lincoln and 1-year-old Delta won’t be writing extensive wish lists.
“We focus more on, ‘What do you want to get other people?’” said Bell. “And wrapping other gifts and saying, ‘This is a time to spoil everyone else.’ We try to take them volunteering and we tell them they can ask Santa for three presents.”
Bell leaves buying those presents to “the grandmas” and does most of her Christmas shopping online.
I will admit that I want to decorate for Christmas now. I see the displays in the stores and I get the itch and just want to put up the tree (mine’s fake!) and all the lights. Screw the waiting period before Thanksgiving, I need the holiday cheer. I’m not even Christian but I love Christmas. As for buying your kids three things each for Christmas, that goes against how I was raised, we’re into giant Christmases with lots of unwrapping and excitement. It does open the possibilities up a bit more though. You always end up with things you don’t need and want and it just accumulates. My son is a tween now and he wants computer upgrades and video games. Maybe this year we can do more charitable giving and less physical gifts. It would probably feel better than getting more stuff. Plus it’s better for the environment.
Photo credit: WENN and Getty
I got kinda spoiled as a kid. My sister was born when I was almost 10, so even though I was at an age that santa might not visit anymore…I still got gifts because santa came to the house for my little sister and it ‘wouldn’t make sense if she got gifts from santa and her sister didn’t’
Though she is now 18 and i’m almost 30 and ‘santa’ still leaves 4-5 gifts under the tree for us every year 😉
My children and grandchildren are told if they don’t believe in “Santa” there will be no gifts under the tree (joking of course). All my gifts that I give are narked from Santa.
Same here MissMerry. My brother was born a few months before I turned 10 and I got an extended/second childhood. It was awesome haha.
I’ve already decorated my house! I don’t need to wait, I love this time of year. Also, this annoys me. Her kids are 3 and 1. I’d love to see how she fares when they’re older. Also, they probably will already have everything they want/need throughout the year. For some reason, I’ve always had an irrational dislike for this couple.
This is my first year as a homeowner (I bought a condo this summer) and I am eager to decorate, but I don’t really know where to start. I spend Christmas day at my mom’s, so do I need a tree? Maybe just get a few garlands and a wreath? What about lights? So much to decide! LOL.
As for the gift thing, I think it’s a nice idea. I generally feel the same way about them as you – they can be a bit annoying – but in this case I can’t fault them for not wanting to spoil the kids with hundreds of presents.
Get a tree!! Even if it’s a fake one. It will make your house feel all homey and warm!
My mum gave me a very small tree with red baubles that I place on a side table, and I bought red lights in the shape of pine trees. A coworker’s sister gifted me a crocheted Santa to hang on my door.
That’s the extent of my decorating. I always spend Xmas at my parents’ where it seems the North Pole arrived and settled there.
Not my favorite couple either, but their gift-giving policy sounds extremely sensible to me. Kids are easily overwhelmed by too many toys. And gift-giving is supposed to be symbolic, not the point of the entire holiday. People act as though Christmas is a time to amass as many material goods as humanly possible (just as many modern brides and grooms view their weddings). I doubt their daughters will grow up feeling that they suffered at all as a result of not drowning in a pile of unneeded stuff every year.
Yep. I have a six year old and a three year old. Last year they had so many gifts they got bored with opening them. They grandparents added to the pile of gifts and were hurt that the children lost interest. The kids weren’t ungrateful, just overwhelmed. I think a few gifts is the way to go for my kids. One “big” gift (gaming console, iPad), and two fun but way less expensive gifts.
There is no right or wrong way to give gifts. People tend to do what’s best and what works for their families.
My brother-in-law’s sister gives her children only three gifts but it is because of religious reasons. Her reasoning is that baby Jesus only received three gifts from the Magi. It’s great that they are teaching their children to be charitable. My daughter signs her and herself up for ringing the bell for the Salvation Army. They do two different days.
It’s a lovely sentiment, and I’m all for it. My extended family has switched over to giving donations to causes/organizations close to the recipient’s heart. After a few years of muttering about it feeling austere and grumbling (didn’t you like my presents?), the adults are all entirely on board now. It’s so much easier, does feel great, and everyone ends up happy. The kids aren’t quite on board yet, not surprisingly, so it’s not imposed on them.
As for this couple, their kids are so young–not much of an issue yet! But nice that they are setting these expectations now. They’ll be harder to keep up as they get older.
I agree – I really like that they are doing this. Kids get A TON of stuff these days and it definitely sends the wrong message unless you manage their expectations and entitlement.
I try to go by the advice I saw once that they get “something they want, something they need, something to wear, and something to read.” Then a couple from Santa. Her grandparents end up going overboard every year anyway, so I might as well keep my end small.
That’s what we do too 🙂
@McBeanerer & Dal: That’s what we do, too. My kids are 8, 5 & 3. They each get four gifts and I try to spend the same amount on each child. One gift is always clothes, one gift is books, one gift is something they’ve asked for, and the fourth is usually ‘educational’ (puzzles, coloring books, etc). Christmas just isn’t about gift-giving for us, and all 3 of my kids birthdays are within a couple weeks of Christmas so they get plenty of ‘fun’ presents from relatives for their birthdays. My family doesn’t observe Christmas, for my in-laws we all pitch in to buy goats thru World Vision, and we donate to various local charities.
That is a great approach! I love Christmas too, but the spirit of the season, food, family, giving back!
Every year since I started really volunteering as a kid I asked for a donation in place of a gift for Christmas. This year I will be doing the same and our gift exchange group is picking three charities to donate our gift money to. It’s a good way to teach philanthropy to children to teach them to give and receive. These two seem great.
I have three kids, and we get them 3 gifts as well. One gift is left out unopened the night before (that is the Santa gift) and it lets us sleep in a few more minutes, because they play with it for a while;) Then when we come down, they open the other 2 gifts. Can we afford to buy them more?-yep. We just choose not to. We maybe spend $100 each on each kid, and that is including stocking stuffers.
I truly feel kids get way too much, and don’t appreciate it. Growing up, we had very little. It made me work hard and earn more. It was a positive thing for us. I know a few friends that got SO MUCH for Christmas. At the time I was jealous, and embarrassed to show them how little we got, but I kid you not, those same friends now are not doing to well at life. One is 39, and still lives with his mom-doesn’t work. Two other ones are on welfare. They just never learned the value of hard work and money.
I love this plan! BTW, while reading the article, I couldn’t understand whether 3 gifts was a lot or a little. Seems like a lot of kids would be thrilled with 3 gifts each!
cari, I think your idea is brilliant and I love the idea of limiting gifts for Christmas.
My parents always provided such a generous Christmas for us, which I appreciate so much in retrospect knowing how hard they worked for it. I totally see what you mean about some adults being “damaged” from getting too much–my sister is one of them! At 34 years old she begins asking me about Christmas in October, and she really still tries to write Christmas lists and tell people what she wants. It’s disgusting. I also have little cousins (my cousin’s children) who are extremely privileged as their mom and dad are a partner at a law firm and a judge, and they get practically a room full of toys for Christmas and by the end of the night, half of it’s broken and the other half they’re already tired of.
My Christmases were huge – lots of gifts. Last year I got 15. So this year we’re downsizing to just one each. It’s gonna be different but perhaps somewhat better.
a 1 year old is taken volunteering?
Yeah, that seems a bit much.
When the kids are THAT small though, they can barely appreciate 3 presents. We have the only grandkid in the family. I feel like I can’t buy him any gifts for holidays or birthday because he gets SO MANY from his 6 grandparents, 1 great grammie, 2 aunts, 1 uncle, 5 cousins, plus some of my random aunts! He’s 5 now but when he was as little as Kristen’s kids are he’d get like 25 presents and barely even remember the first one. It was gross and a little sad. My mom always went all out for us, even when money was tight, but somehow we had a better appreciation of the occasion being special, something to look forward to for months and months. I’m really struggling to give my son that sense of appreciation and anticipation, not to mention some semblance of generosity!
Right there with you. I am so grateful for my loving family but enough with the presents:) They don’t even want to open all of them because they want to play with the first one. Our kids are little and we only give them one or three things.
Three gifts each seems like plenty. I never got any !
I am sorry you never got any, I didn’t get very many which caused me to go overboard with my kids when I could financially.
I began decorating this last weekend. I thought it would help with my Trump mourning. Seeing my 3 year old cheer for the holiday lights up really brightened my spirit. I encourage all who need uplifting to try it—even if it is just putting a string of lights up in your living room.
It’s a good idea to limit the number of presents. Little kids get overwhelmed by the attention and older kids should never be thought they’re the center of the universe and can expect everything on their “lists” to be taken care of. One gift from parents, one from grandparents and one from Santa 😉
Wait 3 gifts are considered ” too little” ?? I REALLY must be old Country AF cause to me that’s A LOT ….. but IDK then again my family never has played the Santa/Niño Jesus game with us/cousins/niblings, we’ve always known it was our parents ( WITH SACRIFICE) that made gifts happen, and happily gift each other things like “a bike seat” “giftcard” unwrapped stuff, stuff in November “for Christmas cause i’m not wasting more money” we’re over 20 or so and we see like no point being precious or overspending when we all know your money as is!!??
But my bf is very American about that like him his brother and sister in law could devolve into a whole am with food breaks opening shit.. super parsimoniously I had to actually express to him I dont want to do 4-5 presents/about the same for his brother, SIL, and then each of us and this then repeated for Bdays, Anniversaries, Easter ffs!..it all seemed kinda gross/overly wasteful and unnecessary as all 3 of them have waaaayyy too much shit (the brother and SIL are hoarders FO SHO) . I canceled Easter yes! Also their blood boils that ive short circuited the Gift opening 10 mins dance by handing out Bags with Tissue paper
Word. It’s ridiculous. I’ve tried to do the Secret Santa thing in my family but my sister keep c*ckblocking me because she loves presents. Girl, you make tons of money but while I love giving gifts, December is expensive as hell and I don’t see the point. You’re basically just pushing money around the table. There is nobody under 30 in the family. What are we doing???
We used to get 3 presents and it was considered a lot by my family. Parents, grandparents (only one pair) and aunt/uncle (one pair). It was the BEST day of the year because the only other time you got anything was birthdays and while that’s more than most people ever get, we were surrounded by kids who got a frickin’ bike for Easter. It’s such nonsense when I think back.
We do that!! omfg is so fun! we do maybe 25-30 bucks tops men bring a man present, ladies do ladies/unisex and we wait til everyone is sauced up, You can steal gifts and it’s honestly HILARIOUS cause sometimes people bother to go crazy with the wrapping and trolley and it might be the smallest gift of them all LOL
But yeah I had to basically retrain my bf cause i have no patience/love for things in that way so if i’m not gonna use it/is a toy is just tits on a fish level useless, I accept giftcards, perfume, shoes year round though
Lol I feel the same. Gift cards and chocolate is my preference. I don’t think attributing the gifts to Santa makes sense either, since that misses a teachable moment about how families take care of each other and where the money for the stuff you like actually comes from (not from the magical man flying through the sky hah). Easter gifts . . just no. Only Kinder Surprise (too bad it’s illegal in the States. You guys missed out.).
We try not to spoil our children with a lot of gifts either. I don’t want them to think that it’s normal. Even if our budget wasn’t tight, we keep our spending within a limit we can afford and they come out with 3-5 gifts that they really enjoy, between us and the grandparents.
In November, we do a cleanout of their toys and give some of them to Goodwill in order to make room for the new ones and let others enjoy their no-longer-played-with toys. We also have the kids participate in toy drives and other types of giving to kids who don’t have as much.
I have 3 kids and they get more than 3 presents at Christmas, plus stockings. However, I’m also not the kind of mom who gets them stuff whenever they want it. For instance, if a new video game is coming out, they have to save money for it with their allowance (from chores) and buy it themselves once they have enough money or wait for Christmas or their birthday.
I thought three presents was the norm? A major gift and two smaller ones was what happened in my house when we were growing up, and a good deal of my friends received the same.
We only got 5 gifts from our parents but we got gifts from aunts,grandparents,godparents,etc.
In Paris they started decorating shop windows on October 1st and now the street lights are up and Gare du Nord put up garland. It’s too early. But I also dislike Christmas in France because they don’t go hard enough. In America you are made to feel the christmas cheer. In France it’s like they gave up halfway and just said f_ck it
I can’t wait to decorate, I just bought a house that is going to look so pretty with all the lights!
I like this idea they are doing, especially if the grandparents like to buy presents. I’m always a little grossed out by the people who post HUGE piles under the tree, especially when the kids are too little to really understand.
My family never goes huge but we are going to scale back a little this year, for various reasons, and I’m going to try to donate and volunteer more.
while i appreciate what they are doing for their children, aren’t these 2 always screaming about privacy for their kids?
I have always liked her but they’re starting to come across as very self righteous since they had kids. Why advertise that you gave all of your baby stuff away unless you’re trying to get people to tell you how wonderful you are? And I agree with them on vaccinations but they’re both completely obnoxious in their delivery. And he’s constantly lecturing people on Twitter about how they should live, very think skinned when people disagree with him too. Just live your life and stop judging everyone else who doesn’t live exactly like you.
We do 4 gifts each spawn. One present is always a winter jacket, though. And “last year’s” jacket gets donated. Right after Thanksgiving, my spawn were each gifted with a $150 gift card with which they bought gifts for Toys for Tots. This year, my kids informed me that they had saved up the money to do their Toys for Tots shopping themselves. I am SO proud of them. Both my spawn work once a week at a local shelter and this Thanksgiving, since we’re staying in New York, they intend to serve at the shelter’s dinner. My husband and I are going too. I’m proud that the kids are growing up into fine human beings.
I love that idea with Toys for Tots! I remember my mom and I did some type of charity for Christmas. I have to file that away. My hubby and I do not celebrate Christmas, we want to raise our child without celebrating but my mom is crazy about it. I like the 3 gift idea, perhaps that’s a way to work together.
Christmas is a big deal in my family. It’s an EVENT. Lots of time with family and friends, loads of great food, time spent volunteering, and yes, lots of presents. Reading these comments makes me grateful that my parents tempered their excessive (to some minds) gift giving with charity work and examples of those who were truly spoiled. For Example: A family acquaintance gave her three daughters well over $1000 in presents each year, plus cash. They were NEVER happy- And I think it’s because she was trying to buy their love, instead of spending time with them.
Three seems reasonable to me. I also like the idea of giving experiences rather than things. A zoo membership or a horseback riding lesson or the like. We live in a consumer oriented culture to everyone’s detriment. Why get kids addicted throwaway junk at such an early age?
We only give our children three presents (like the Magi). It makes my two girls consider more carefully what they are asking for. Their aunts and grandparents still get them stuff. There are always plenty of presents, but it isn’t a day about “What’s in it for me?”
At that age, aren’t they as enthralled with the wrapping paper as they are with the gifts?
I really like their idea. As a child, my brother and I could write a list of our top wish list items. My mom worked to get some, not all, of the items we had. So even if I wrote 10 items I never got 10. I don’t understand this concept where people buy their child every little thing they want for Christmas. Even if I got only 4 items, it was the element of surprise and seeing which items on the list were given. As an adult, I don’t celebrate Christmas, but I like the idea these two are doing.
My tree is already up. Although Im Canadian, so I dont need to wait for Thanksgiving. 😉
I think its great that she wants to distill good values in her kids, but at the same time I dont fault other people/parents if they want to go all out with gifts. If you have the money are and happy to do so then go ahead. It does bother me to see bratty kids who pull fits over getting the “wrong” present though.
The day after the election my husband and I both looked at one another and agreed we’re going to put up our Christmas tree early. I think the holiday festivities will boost our spirits.
She said she lets her kids ASK SANTA for three presents. She didn’t say they only GET three presents.
We let our kids ask Santa for two presents. There’s still a pile of gifts under the tree for them on Christmas morning — mostly from very generous grandparents. I ask my mother-in-law to tone it down every year but so far, no luck. 🙂