Amy Schumer in final talks to play Barbie in an actual movie about Barbie

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There are several layers of awfulness around this story. The first layer is just a general disgust that Mattel has given the greenlight to make a film about Barbie. It just feels… unnecessary and dumb. The next layer of awful is that the leading candidate to play Barbie is… Amy Schumer??? Are you joking? Apparently not. All the trade papers are buzzing with leaked details, trying to get people excited about the idea of Amy Schumer-as-Barbie. While the script details make sense, I still think this idea is no bueno.

Amy Schumer is in negotiations to play the title role in Barbie, the live-action Sony Pictures film based on the venerable Mattel toyline. The PG movie will begin production in the spring for a global summer 2018 tentpole bow, after Schumer puts her imprint on the Hilary Winston script, doing a rewrite with her sister Kim Caramele. Given her edgy stand-up comedy and her movie breakthrough writing and starring in the R-rated Trainwreck, what makes Schumer the right actress to play the embodiment of a beloved toyline that for years featured a doll with impossibly perfect physical proportions? Aside from the fact that she has Barbie hair, Schumer’s growing stature as a role model for female empowerment fits perfectly with how the film will exploit Barbie’s evolution into dolls of different sizes and shapes.

Schumer will play a character who lives in Barbieland, among all of the various Barbie characters beloved by doll collectors (there are dolls covering over 180 careers). In a fish-out-of-water story reminiscent of films like Splash and Big, Schumer’s Barbie gets kicked out, basically because she’s not perfect enough, is a bit eccentric and doesn’t quite fit the mold. She then goes on an adventure in the real world and by the time she returns to Barbieland to save it, she has gained the realization that perfection comes on the inside, not the outside, and that the key to happiness is belief in oneself, free of the obligation to adhere to some unattainable standard of perfection. Mattel, with a lot at stake since the toyline has generated $3 billion in sales, signed off on the take.

The studio will now lock in a director, and the clear intention is that the filmmaker be a woman. Word around Hollywood is there is a short list of directors including Me Before You helmer Thea Sharrock (who is apparently unavailable for the slot), but it’s a big job and the studio expects to fill it shortly.

[From Deadline]

Deadline basically says that this role was delivered on a silver platter to Schumer, and that Mattel wants the film to deflect the body-diversity and racial-diversity mission of New & Improved Barbie, which was launched in January of this year. Mattel “remade” Barbie in all different colors and shapes, in an attempt to appeal to millennial moms. It’s also worth noting that the Barbie doll redo came about because Barbie sales fell off a cliff about three years ago. That’s probably why Mattel was suddenly so eager to greenlight a Barbie movie too.

As for Amy Schumer as Barbie… I get what they’re trying to do. I get that Amy Schumer isn’t anyone’s idea of Barbie and that the message is supposed to be “every woman is unique, be your own individual Barbie.” But I just don’t think Amy should be the face of it. Oh, and if Skipper is involved, they should cast Lena Dunham. That would be Peak White Feminist Barbie nonsense.

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Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.

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84 Responses to “Amy Schumer in final talks to play Barbie in an actual movie about Barbie”

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  1. Chaucer says:

    Lol at the skipper shade. Just what I needed this morning.

  2. bucketbot says:

    Imagine the press tour, some obnoxious hell it’s going to be.

    • Josefina says:

      Im already tired of her promotional tour and it hasnt even began. This is the perfect role for her to get pretentious and sanctimonious as hell about. Ugh.

  3. naomipaige says:

    Very bad choice. I would say Michelle Williams should play Barbie. Not this worthless idiot!

    • KB says:

      The whole point is that the Barbie in the movie is supposed to not look like The typical Barbie. Did you read the post?

      • dandan38 says:

        Michelle may be slim, but I don’t get the implication that she would just look or seem like “Typical Barbie” with her at all. She’s now usually thought of as a serious actress(if we’re talking the MW from Brokeback Mtn., etc. and not the D.Child singer of course!). Nor does she have big, blonde hair typically, or other traits…that being said though, I don’t know who would play a good Barbie with this particular storyline. Doubtful I’ll see it anyway, so whatever!

      • naomipaige says:

        Yes, I did. It’s her whole attitude that I don’t like. She is too much, and someone else a bit pushy would be best. I’m entitled to my opinion.

    • annaloo. says:

      GIVE THE ROLE TI BEYONCÉ

      Beyonce IS Barbie: she can do anything and she has all the dream homes.

  4. Nicole says:

    lol at “growing stature of female empowerment”. Yea if you’re white then sure. For the rest of us she embodies a white feminist who is anything but woke.
    But do the movie amy because I cannot wait to see you do box office bomb after bomb. Then maybe she will go away

    • Melly says:

      Her privileged version of feminism is infuriating. I used to really like her standup before she was getting movie and TV deals, now she is so basic and shallow.

      • Justjj says:

        I watched Trainwreck on a whim because it was free on HBO and I ran out of episodes of Insecure and I was flipping through movies… W.t.f. Such a contrast between the feminism of Insecure(awesome show!) and the feminism of Trainwreck, I just couldn’t. I stuck it out waiting for a redeeming moment. Didn’t really happen. White privileged feminism for real. I don’t get why an adult would go see a Barbie movie and I don’t think most moms are going to be on board with Amy Schumer as the aspirational character. And I’m not some dry vagina no fun having prude, I’m just saying, as a millenial mom of a daughter, just no…

    • Jag says:

      That was exactly what I was going to say, Nicole, other than the “if you’re white” part. lol I’m a mutt and I can’t stand Amy Schumer or Lena Dunham.

  5. Locke Lamora says:

    The story seems okay to me? And I dislike Schumer, but she seems fit for the role.

    • littlemissnaughty says:

      On paper, absolutely. But wait until she has to promote it and gets on her soap box. Then the Amy who is too good for her own brand will make an appearance and tell us how it’s ridiculous that she plays the not-so-perfect Barbie because she’s hot and smart. She loves the message but she thinks she’s too good to be the face of it.

    • minime says:

      yes…not really getting the problem. She has all the Barbie features minus the slim body figure, but she does have a good figure. I had a ton of Barbies when I was a kid and I’m not the biggest fan of Amy Schumer but I really dislike the comments here and what they imply.

      • nicole says:

        I agree, the comments are really really mean-spirited no matter what you think of her as a comedian or feminist or whatever.

  6. lizzie says:

    she could star in a cabbage patch movie – but i’m not sure about barbie.

    • MissGlitter says:

      Lizzie Cabagge Patch hahaha. Thanks for your sense of humor, I think Mattel is wrecking of desperation to get more clients and $$. Their doing bad even though they have Disney, Monster High and Ever After High to name a few under their label.

    • Taiss says:

      Lmaoooo. She does looks like a cabbage patch

  7. BearcatLawyer says:

    You know what would be really revolutionary? Not casting yet another blonde Hollywood white woman in the lead role. If Barbie truly represents someone EVERY little girl can aspire to, casting Amy Schumer is just a mistake.

  8. Ivy says:

    First of all, Amy is so overrated and is not only a moron but also completely unoriginal and is proven to steal other comedians jokes. Second, oh lord no matter how hard her publicists try and any Vogue covers she gets, can’t we all acknowledge that she is NOT an attractive girl?! Her face looks like a gopher which works because she’s a “comedian for the everyday girl” and her unattractiveness is comedic material but???? in a Barbie movie????? PLEASE.
    I get that they’re trying to appeal to more women, but casting Amy as a historically beautiful doll only emphasizes the face that Amy is in no way representative of a beautiful doll. Sorry not sorry.

  9. Marianne says:

    On one hand, its nice to see a story about Barbie in a non-traditional sense, of getting someone a little more “chunkier”. But Amy Schumer…. :( .

  10. Ankhel says:

    Trump, Schumer, Lawrence, the Cardassians. It’s like the League of the Insufferables in here today! I’d like some hot shirtless dude gossip, illustrated, pretty please?

  11. LinaLamont says:

    I’m sorry, but, it’s a stupid movie about a DOLL!
    I can’t understand the controversy. There are REAL problems in the world.

    • MrsBPitt says:

      lol…LinaLamont….you are exactly right! But, don’t you know, this is the era of “whining about everything and nothing”….

    • Miss M says:

      I am with you on this! What’s the big deal?! Let her play Barbie—> a movie about a doll that I will not watch regardless of what gets cast…

    • Chaine says:

      Ikr?!!! It’s just like when every fanboy gets their drawers in a wad about who was cast in the latest comic book movie, none of which I watch either.

    • Kitten says:

      I agree but I also hate Barbie so maybe that’s why I don’t care.

      • I Choose Me says:

        I used to collect the dolls but IDGAF bout the movie or Shumer enough to get in my druthers about it.

  12. Katydid20 says:

    I think the most important question is – who the heck will be Ken?!?!? ;)

  13. MellyMel says:

    I don’t know about this movie, but I did notice the other day when buying Toys for Tots toys that the new Barbies came in different sizes and even heights which is cool. Wish it hadn’t taken so long for them to make those.

  14. Melody calder says:

    Beyond the looks, she is not someone I would want my young daughter looking up to. She is raunchy, they need some one with a cleaner image/ less of a potty mouth to do something like this.

  15. huh says:

    She’s positively porcine!

    • Lambda says:

      Good morning! It’s a great day to call women pigs, no?

      • shura says:

        Oh, please. We call men pigs in here all the time.

      • Lambda says:

        Do you, now? Based on their appearance? Must’ve missed that.

      • Shura says:

        See that search function above? Try “Trump” and “Dep.” That should get you started. It’s a fair observation on all three.

      • Lambda says:

        No, thanks. I doubt those animal comparisons don’t have an admixture of personality characterization. But hey go call people animal names since it’s, what’s that word you used?, fair.

      • Jess says:

        @Shura

        One is a president elect who is NOT a comedian and has said deplorable things about minorities, women etc and the other is a basic white feminist who whose biggest fault is being annoying and unfunny. You’d have to be pretty dense if you can’t see the difference between the two tbh.

  16. PoliteTeaSipper says:

    I collect dolls, used to collect Barbie but they have been putting out such garbage for their collectors line that I haven’t bothered.

    The American Girl movies have been successful among the target market which is probably why they are doing this now.

    I have many mom-friends who like to put Barbie’s head on a pike and accuse me of promoting eating disorders to their children whenever I post pictures of my Integrity Toys haute couture dolls (that are strictly marketed toward adults). Barbie was originally a fashion doll, but Mattel has made the decision to make every thing appeal and be appropriate for four year olds quite some time ago (excluding the collectors line). When the “shapely” Barbie came out many of these mom-friends posted “it’s about time!” on their Facebook. BUT NOBODY BOUGHT ANY. They’ve been collecting dust on the shelf at my local Target. I’ve seen plenty of people make plenty of complaints about size (and diversity for American Girl) but when the company makes these dolls to meet this apparent demand, they simply do not sell in the quantity required to justify the line. So if you like the “curvy” Barbies then I hope you backed your opinion with your pocketbook, because if they don’t sell you will never see anything like them ever again.

    Now: Amy Schumer. Mattel has made many terrible decisions related to their doll lines and this is one of them. I can’t think of anyone more bottom of the barrel besides Lena Dunham to represent Barbie. What were they thinking? Going with a “big name”? Thinking any publicity is good publicity? I would not want my child exposed to anything she does.

  17. Solo says:

    Lena as Skipper to Amy’s Barbie = Perfection lol

  18. Josefina says:

    During the promo tour she’ll incessantly talk about how important this movie is and how every girl in the world should see it and be inspired. Then the movie will flop and she’ll talk about how dumb the project was and how much she hated doing it.

    10 bucks on it.

  19. ds says:

    Ugh no to everything. Gotta admit the ideao of Dunham playing Skipper is the best! LOL

  20. MI6 says:

    This makes a lot of sense to me.
    Then again, it IS 2016.

  21. Greenieweenie says:

    Looks like a metaphor for Amy’s career. She’s “not perfect” enough because she turns people off on Twitter, then gets kicked out of Barbieland (her show goes on hiatus), and CANT WE ALL JUST GET ALONG (read: don’t hold me accountable for anything I say or do, ever, you people who expect coherency, I mean perfection).

  22. Jay (the Canadian one) says:

    Do you mean “reflect” not “deflect”? Trying to understand how the “fish out of water” deflects from their new diversity mandate.

  23. Olenna says:

    Uh, no. Bish, plz. Hello Kitty said goodbye to this. Just insert any other relevant YA phrase you want. Even my middle-aged azz would be a better choice for Barbie.

  24. jessica says:

    Such a terrible idea, Kristen Wiig for the win !
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDkjI7YMNbg

  25. nicegirl says:

    I am not into Amy’s schtick whatsoever – but I think she is very pretty. I would have loved an Amy Barbie. I had Cher, Farrah Fawcett . . .

    I wonder if they would use all of the crazy model gals as the other Barbies – smug Gisele as the Barbie leader would be hilarious . . . who else??

    Also, about Amy – It is not nice to call her, or any woman, porcine. YUCK. Cool it.

  26. prince says:

    vagina jokes. I’m so over her. She’s not funny. her and lena dunham are unbearable.

    this is a woman tgat bragged about raping a drunk man. if it was the other way around, the man’s career will be over

  27. Sissy says:

    Mattel must have a death wish. This is the kind of rebranding genius that made New Coke such a success. I wish someone would pay me big money to think up ways to kill off iconic brands.

  28. Amelia says:

    Tyra Banks will always be Barbie to me!

    • nicegirl says:

      OMG Amelia, love it! I loved that movie with Tyra and Lindsay Lohan!

      Ok, we gotta add Tyra to the list, she should probably be the Barbie leader with Gisele as her mindless follower.

      H haha ha ha

  29. Missy says:

    Jesus. This site has gotten so ridiculous! Stick to bitchy gossip FFS!!!!! That is the damn site name! 🙄

  30. Shannon says:

    It’s not the worst idea imo. I’d probably see it, depending on the trailer. Maybe even take my son. I think Amy’s very pretty, and personally I like her humor. I also like the fact that I’m sure she knows she’s gonna take a lot of ‘OMG YOU’RE not Barbie’ comments (I’ve already seen them) and if she signs on anyway, there’s the middle finger and she laughs to the bank. I honestly have zero problems with her, her show kept me sane while I was living with one man (man/boy) and three four teenage boys.

  31. Granger says:

    I don’t understand who the audience for this movie is. I’m 45, I grew up playing with Barbies, I think it’s great that Mattel has released a few “diverse” dolls… But I have absolutely no desire to see a movie about Barbie, and I really don’t think any of my friends do either. I also can’t imagine many women taking their young daughters to an Amy Schumer film. She isn’t really a PG movie actress, you know? She’s foul and rude and I think she’s hilarious, and to me, her personality and brand of comedy will be completely wasted in a PG film aimed at 8 year olds. I just don’t get how they’re going to market this. If Schumer is trying to branch into different types of (safer, more family-friendly) roles, I think she should try a simple romantic comedy first. There’s just something about taking on “feminist” Barbie that seems off to me.

  32. Sam says:

    Who asked for this? No one asked for this.

  33. Beau Kitty says:

    Nope not her. And FYI to a few posters who may not know: Barbies come in other iterations besides white and blonde. Growing up I had black barbies, brown barbies, Asian barbies and even red head and brunette Barbies. Shumer is an awful choice, not because she looks more like a garbage pail kid than a Barbie doll, but because she represents an entire demographic of insufferable, special snowflake white feminism that alienates women of all races, whites included. She’s not amazing. Shes not funny. She’s not talented. She’s not anything other than annoying, racist, and crass.