Hilary Duff: ‘I never want to be that girl who’s desperate to find a mate’


Hilary Duff is still happening, which never fails to surprise me. Who is propping up this woman’s fame? But there are so many people who have strong feelings about her one way or the other. Duff covers the February issue of Cosmopolitan to promote…??? She’s on that TV series, Younger, so probably that. But really, Duff is a brand now, so she promotes her life. Her 2016 was somewhat turbulent – she finalized her divorce from Mike Comrie, she dated Jason Walsh for a while and then they broke up… but not before their unfortunate Halloween costumes. But Duff’s brand is positivity and happy-to-be-single. Some highlights from Cosmo:

She’s not much of a dater: “I’ve never been a good dater… I meet, like, one person a year that I’m maybe attracted to…. I never want to be that girl who’s desperate to find a mate.”

She’s on good terms with her ex-husband:
“Mike’s amazing. We’re so ingrained in each other’s lives. I wouldn’t choose anyone else to co-parent with. We are really good friends and care a lot about each other.”

She’s turning 30 this year: “I think I’m a pretty confident person. I’ve had a career for a long time, but I’ve put a lot of unnecessary pressure on myself as a woman, a businessperson, an actress. I’m like, ‘Am I doing enough?’ Everyone I’ve talked to says you come into your own in your 30s. You feel more secure. I’m looking forward to that.”

[From Cosmopolitan]

I’m not a good dater either, so maybe I find Hilary Duff relatable. As for “I never want to be that girl who’s desperate to find a mate…” notice she doesn’t say that she is not That Girl. She just doesn’t want to be That Girl. I suspect that she is That Girl though. She’s not quite at the Jennifer Lopez “I Can Never Be Alone”-level of needing to be in a relationship, but let’s be real: Hilary Duff likes to be in a relationship. She stuck with Mike Comrie for a lot longer than she should have, and she jumped into another relationship pretty quickly. She’ll have a new boyfriend by Valentine’s Day!

Also: lip injections, right?


Photos courtesy of Eric Ray Davidson/Cosmopolitan.

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10 Responses to “Hilary Duff: ‘I never want to be that girl who’s desperate to find a mate’”

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  1. BooBooLaRue says:

    Never say never.

    • HookedOnCoffee says:

      I kind of respect her comments though, and I also respect the distinction Kaiser noticed about how she said ‘want’ instead of ‘am not.’

      I personally think that it is beautiful if two people fall in love, are in perfect sync, and make great couples. Plenty of people marry in their early adulthood and make the BEST lifemates. I am happy for every one of them. I do think that a big component of their secret is that they did not just fall for each other because they were grasping for a life mate, any life mate.

      I have also seen a destructiveness to the idea that you NEED a life mate. It makes people–women especially–make a lot of compromises in relationships, only because they are desperately afraid of being lonely. It only results in misery. A man–no matter how great–does not give inner peace or compensate for a lack of it…and in my experience, the worst men in the world tend to find the women who are desperate for love.

      • Embee says:

        Totally agree! I see people who are unhappy but stay together just to be with someone. I find dating tough because I’m not going to make tons of compromises just to keep him. I’d rather be alone than looking and feeling desperate for someone to love

      • HookedOnCoffee says:

        Embee–I hear you so much on relationship difficulty. On the one hand, you can’t be the person who never compromises and completely mows down their partner. On the other hand, if you are the only one compromising, there is a very real problem. You are dead on that it is SO much healthier to be alone that stuck as a destructive person’s sick plaything (that’s what other people are to those who lack empathy).

        People with Cluster B personality disorders are very good at identifying the kind of personalities that they can bend to their will (these people are called enablers or supply sources). They play sick mind games with those people (gas lighting, martyrdom, among other things), and keep them trapped for years, decades even (then you will be discarded for whatever they want in the moment. I guarantee that). If you are an enabler, they will mold and utilize you to do terrible things for them. These people have illnesses, so unless you have a lot of letters after your name and are working in a professional setting, don’t try to fix them. They are like viruses, wild animals, or radiation..fascinating to study from a distance, but if you get too close to them, you will be destroyed.

        I encourage every person (man or women) who has the tendency to want to please people out of insecurity or fear of abandonment to recognize that about themselves, be aware that SICK people automatically hone in on them, and develop strategies to find comfort in your own inner strength (plus, a social circle of up building people).

        I was raised by an NPD father and an enabler mother. No child in this world deserves to be brought up this way. The way to stop sick people from doing sick things is to educate ourselves about them, and protect ourselves and the helpless from them in the process. Only then can we create stronger communities and call out sick, enabling communities (because narcissists don’t just find spouses, they make their own sick subcultures…perhaps they should not be legally allowed to do so).

      • Vox says:

        I found my soulmate when I didn’t see myself getting into a relationship again. Relationships are amazing when the right person falls into your life but a lot of people have to actively look. As long as you don’t make compromises because you’re frightened of being alone it has a good chance of working if you’re good for/with each other.

  2. Jensies says:

    She’s harmless, in a doesn’t know her privilege type way. I just can’t bring myself to summon anymore than “Her?” for this one.

  3. Bex says:

    Younger is a bit of a guilty pleasure watch for me.

    I don’t think you can ever tell what people have or haven’t had done from a magazine photoshoot, because it’s guaranteed to have been photoshopped to oblivion.

  4. Sam says:

    Is that really what the cover of Cosmo looks like? All those blurbs look like it is satire. I’m so glad i don’t believe that shit anymore.

  5. serena says:

    Aw I always liked her, and seeing she’s turning 30 makes me feel old, she seems just nice and down to earth.

  6. Lex says:

    I love Hilary and think she’s doing a good job on Younger!

    I don’t think she jumped into a new relationship – her marriage ended years ago and she was single quite a while. It might seem like they were together more recently than they were as they are often photographed together.