Chrissy Metz: ‘It’s much more acceptable for men to be overweight’


Corey is our resident This is Us fan and she takes the emotional gut punch of that show for the team. You can read her latest recap here. I’ve been paying attention to Chrissy Metz since I read her heartfelt first person essay about growing up poor and struggling as an actress before landing her role on the popular NBC drama. Chrissy has been open about body image issues and about her weight. She’s working to lose weight for health and longevity reasons and she’ll tell you about it, while also discussing the need for us to be supportive of each other, no matter our size. In fact she often says supportive things about thin people as allies. In a recent interview on Sirius XM’s “Just Jenny,” Chrissy talked about people judging her, and thinner people, without really understanding their struggles. She’s very inclusive in her message.

When you look at Melissa McCarthy’s career, was that important to see?
“Melissa McCarthy, Gabourey Sidibe, Rebel Wilson, all the women who are sort of unconventional or plus-sized if you will or curvy… they’re pioneering this way that art is finally catching up to life, and women and people alike are seeing themselves on TV and in movies. I love that Melissa, it’s not never an issue about her weight. It’s like you’re freaking hilarious and talented and let’s talk about that.

“Eventually I think that will happen for me and right now I think it’s so important that we’re having these conversations because when you’re knowledgeable about something the fear goes away and so many people are afraid of fat people. It’s crazy and I hate to say that, but until we educate people and figure out what the real issue is, people are going to be afraid of it.

“So I’m so happy and grateful that those women and men alike, although it’s much more acceptable for men to be overweight…

When you see too-thin models or popstars what do you think?
It’s the other side. It’s the other side of an eating disorder or issue or problem. It’s concerning because it’s more about the mental, being unhealthy. I don’t know their plight. I don’t know their issues. it’s very easy to say ‘oh she’s too skinny’ or people saying I’m too fat and hopefully, it’s not [always] an issue. I know Kesha was given so much grief about her weight. “She looks great. Leave her alone. If she’s healthy, who cares?

On people body shaming Lady Gaga at the Super Bowl
“That made me bonkers, bananas crazy. How is someone fat if they’re not fat? I wanna see somebody else get on that damn stage and do what the hell she did.

“What the core of the issue is is that we project all of our stuff and our crap on other people. If we’re really, really genuinely happy with ourselves and we love ourselves, you can’t talk s— about other people. You can’t be hateful because you love yourself.”

[From Just Jenny via Soundcloud, NY Daily News, People]

So many people jump on Chrissy for her size but she’s not telling anyone that she’s fine the way she is or that she isn’t going to change. She’s not a “health at every size” advocate, she’s talking about being accepting and understanding and that being too thin or too large are two sides of the same issue. In fact she’s said that women of all sizes can relate to her. I wish people would take her at her word instead of assuming that she’s advocating something she’s not.

Chrissy’s boyfriend is a cameraman from This is Us, his name is Josh Stancil and they met on set. She told People Magazine about how they first got together and it sounds like it developed gradually and naturally. She calls him the “real life Toby” and said he does sweet things like write her little notes of encouragement.


photos credit: FametFlynet and Getty

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38 Responses to “Chrissy Metz: ‘It’s much more acceptable for men to be overweight’”

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  1. newmansown says:

    Thank god someone finally gets it and actually says it out loud!!!!!

  2. WTF says:

    This just in….sky still blue

  3. Ramona Q. says:

    To WTF above: I just came here to say “And water is wet.”

  4. Ashley Nate says:


    Men can be ugly, fat, old, and dirty/sloppy.
    Women have to be slim, pretty, clean, and better not pass the age of 25.

  5. Jerkface says:

    It’s more acceptable for men to do anything and everything. Effing duh man

  6. Daisy says:

    While women like Melissa and Rebel are incredible, Hollywood stil rarely allows overweight women to be dramatic actresses, and not in comedies.

    • Ramona says:

      Kathy Bates is the notable exception but even in her 20s she was getting cast to play women in their 40s.

      I still maintain that Chrissy is the wrong messenger for this though. Theres a big difference between Kathy Bates at her biggest and Chrissy right now. None of the big men are approaching her size either. Maybe John Candy at his fattest but he was never on screen at that size and he was relegated to comedy anyway. Not even Marlon Brando would be allowed on screen at this size.

      • Daisy says:

        But why would she not be “allowed” on screen? She’s not glorifying obesity. There are people that big in the world, and if films portray real life, why not show them too?

    • detritus says:

      I agree, I can name a ton if heavier guys
      Chris Farley
      John Goodman
      At various stages, all of these men struggled with weight and were considered employable, and not just in comedies, except maybe Farley, who im not sure had a chance to branch out.
      Sidibe has been in a drama and did very well, so it’s not based on historical reception.

      • noway says:

        In fairness though, meaty roles for women are few and far between. So most of the women roles are the sidekick or the wife, sister, etc. The medium itself is all about looks and if you look the part, and the reality is the men running the industry want to look at women they find attractive. Sucks, but this is why we need women of every type in more powerful roles like directors, producers, etc. too. Look at the Directors Guild and see how few women are in it. That’s why I like all women who step out of any and all stereotypes. Go Chrissy!!! She might be right too, if we all see people more like ourselves on television and we become a little less ashamed maybe it will help. I know some people say she is the wrong messenger and it might normalize obesity, but it could have the opposite effect in helping people to feel less ashamed and maybe succeed in their struggles.

    • hogtowngooner says:

      Yes, and I would add that for actresses of size, their weight is a plot point or at the very least, referenced in a shameful way.

  7. Rachel says:

    This rings especially true in Hollywood where men – not all but many-can let themselves go physically and not resort to extensive maintenance regimes but women have to stay thin and appear young. Many if these actresses start messing with their faces and getting plastic surgery in their 20’s ffs

  8. Babooshka says:

    I’m confused because I’m not seeing her say that being large isn’t great but I believe she’s trying to lose weight so good on her.

    I’ve made similar arguments on here or when trainers/fit people make those points in interviews, everyone rips them apart for fat shaming for simply saying that morbid obesity is a major problem and is just as bad as people who are unhealthy thin.

    I completely agree there’s a double standard with men and women but ultimately I think with women like gabby, Melissa and Chrissy, weight should be a part of the dialogue because that kind of weight is symptomatic of a deeper issue and would shed so much light on the issue for others struggling with it. I say that after having struggled to lose ~70 lbs and I do wish there was more of a spotlight on this.

  9. Rose says:

    But she’s not just overweight, she’s dangerously morbidly obese..
    It’s uncomfortable to look at her, call me a bad person but it’s how I feel.

    • Babooshka says:

      I completely agree with you but because it’s personal, people don’t like to discuss weight but so many people are dealing with personal issues. I don’t see people giving alcoholics and drug addicts a free pass so why do that for a food addiction? Really makes me sad. It’s a phenomenal opportunity to address and tackle all issues this country has with obesity but people don’t want to encourage that kind of discourse in any capacity.

    • Alleycat says:

      It makes you uncomfortable to look at an overweight person?? I find that incredibly rude. She’s not encouraging the weight she is at, and it’s none of anyone’s business but her and her doctor how she is handling her health.

      • Rose says:

        She’s not just overweight though, I mean it looks so uncomfortable to be that big, I worded it wrong I think.

    • jerkface says:

      I don’t know man, maybe don’t look at her then? This is one of those things where its not really our problem or her problem how you feel about her existence.

      Its like that old joke. A man goes into the doctors office and he says Hey Doc, my eyes hurt when I poke them like this with my finger. And the doctor says, Well then stop doing that.

    • Patricia says:

      Rose I get what you are saying. Melissa McCartney never made me feel like I’m looking at a woman who could have a stroke at any moment.
      Chrissy is a fabulous actress, funny and pretty, I don’t have mean thoughts like “ew she’s gross” or anything like that.
      But I do feel uncomfortable. How does she move about? What’s happening to her blood pressure and organs? When she sits down her belly is three feet away from her face, it’s so large. I think it’s a normal human response to have this fear, this discomfort that the person you are looking at is in peril. It’s incomfortable. I have the same feeling when I’m around a known alcoholic. She’s hurting herself very badly and the compassionate part of the brain gets stuck on that.

    • Amberica says:

      As someone who fits the definition of “morbidly obese”, I WILL call you a bad person. Like, I know I f-ed up. I’m working on it. I have 230 boot camp check ins to back me up, and I’ve been literally pushed across finish lines be ENCOURAGING friends who want me to succeed, and you feel cool putting it out there that seeing her very existence makes you “uncomfortable”? Guess what? We’re “uncomfortable” enough without your judgment.

    • detritus says:

      Does it make you uncomfortable to look at addicts, say addicted to alcohol and coke? Same technical issue, they are abusing their body til it dies, tons in Hollywood . What about anorexics? Do fashion shows with their average BMI less than 17 bother you the same way?

      I’m betting not.

  10. imqrious2 says:

    “So many people jump on Chrissy for her size but she’s not telling anyone that she’s fine the way she is or that she isn’t going to change.”

    ^^^THIS bothers me: Why is she being asked to tell anyone anything about her weight? Whose business is it anyway, whether or not she’s fine the way she is, or that she is or isn’t going to change?? This should be between her and her doctor, NO ONE ELSE should be weighing in (pardon the pun). Weight is VERY personal, and most of us have our food demons. But why does every actress have to defend herself, whether fat or thin? It makes me SO MAD that NO ONE asks men these questions, or invalidates them as a love interested because they have a pot belly, thinning hair, etc. And yes, I KNOW it’s “Hollywood”, and inherently misogynistic… but I am SO TIRED of this .. sigh…

  11. senna says:

    1. Cameraman Real Life Toby is actually hotter than Actor Toby (but Actor Toby is great on the show)
    2. Her red carpet dress is dope AF
    3. As I have read about the issue, HAES advocates are primarily working to establish the idea that one can EXIST in public at any size without being shamed for one’s appearance. If you medically need to lose or gain weight, that’s up to you and your doctor to figure out, not for someone to tell you as you browse the grocery store aisles or take your dog for a walk. Changes made to your diet or exercise routines should be done out of concern for health and enjoyment for life, not to pursue weight loss at any cost. Health is a holistic condition that encompasses mind, body, and environment, so only focusing on food and appearance is short-sighted and doesn’t properly address well-being over the long term. HAES has been unnecessarily denigrated by those who think it tells people they can’t do anything about their weight and that they shouldn’t care about their health.

    • PhatGirl says:

      Well said. +1

    • Lofi says:

      Well said!

    • EllePreece says:

      Ya I totally agree. Because you’re “smaller” than someone does not somehow make you an expert on how they should live their life. I don’t get this attitude that arises that it must always be a topic of conversation for these self-appointed experts/judges/morality police/body police/life police/soul police to weigh in on. No pun intended.
      Like just…why? Why is it ok? If something is not affecting YOU in any single way, then it is not your problem nor should you feel safe in saying “oh that person makes me so uncomfortable.”
      Would you say that about any other aspect of a person – would you feel OK saying that about ANY other aspect of a person?

      And it IS different for women – because THEY are the ones who have born the burden of this type of scrutiny for AGES. God, to believe it still continues.
      Do you know that there are women in hospice, at end-of-life, who refuse to eat cake for fear of ruining their figure?
      It is a BODY. It is NOT YOUR BODY. You have no say.
      Trust me, she’s saying enough to herself already. Not that it is any of your concern.

  12. Micki says:

    I actually disagree with her opinion on Melissa McCarthy. I find her a very one-note actress and her schtick is directly connected with her weight.
    As for the men in Hollywood not being subjected to the same standarts…I don’t know. Don’t most action movie stars beef up and keep in shape for a part? And some have lost a lot of weight for a part…
    And when it comes to “normal” people – all of the male coleagues of my husband ( in their 40s and 50s) are on a “diet”- take care of what and how much. And a couple (the most ambitious probably) do sports regularly. I’m not saying that all are with model bodies, but None of them is obese. So from my personal experience her interview sounds more like an effort to build “us” against “them”.

    • Daisy says:

      Men get ripped for superhero movies. Women have to look like supermodels just to be employed in anything.

      • Micki says:

        But being ripped is not their “natural” state though. So they work to look so. Diet plans and exercise, personal trainers and so on.
        I do remember the comments when Ben Affleck got his dad bod. And by the way If you think about all the men the CB and the posters here have been gushing about: from Clive Owen (eons ago) till Charlie Hunnam-has there been ONE when s.o. said :”….I know, I know …but he is so talented…” I don’t remember a dad bod being admired either. So why should be else in her case?

      • Locke Lamora says:

        But it’s still a few men for certain movies. With women is ALL women for ALL roles.

        And dad bods were all the rage a few years ago, men like Benedict Cumberbatch become sex symbols, and men who are not ripped get to play all kinds of roles.

        And no one says you have to admire Chrissy’s body, or find it attractive. That’s the whole point – she should be able to have a career regardless of wheter someone finds her looks attractive or not.

      • Micki says:

        @Locke: I personally do see this as a US movie and TV problem. Unless a certain topic is being presented (overweight in Mike and Molly) you usually have attractive actors in all parts. You are not allowed to age or be too fat. But I still disagree that men are under less stress just because their casting process is not often thematized.

        In contast you see all type of bodies and all ages in european films and TV. Both men and women can be what they are. See the difference between Isabelle Huppert and the other Oscar contenders.

        And Benedict Cumberbatch- I’d put him in normal range, not in Dad bod pen, That’s Leo for me. On the brink of being overweight.

      • Locke Lamora says:

        Yeah, I was thinking of American movies. In my country for an example (european) , I would say that the most in demand actress in the last couple of years is in her late 40s and a bit overweight. European cinema tends to be quite different.

        As for Benedict, I didn’t mean his body, but his look is not the usual pretty boy or rugged macho that is considered ideal, yet he is/was a huge sex symbol. I can’t think of an actress like that. There are a few indie darlings who might look “odd”, but no one that popular.