I genuinely laughed TWICE at Dakota Johnson at the Oscars. The first laugh was when she arrived on the carpet in this monstrously bad Gucci gown. The second laugh was when she presented with Jamie Dornan and their hilarious lack of chemistry was on full display. Let’s talk about the dress first! MY GOD. Like, this was never going to be good. This gown was always going to be a bad choice because it resembles a terrible Victorian dressing gown. The color actually reminds me a lot of thrift-store sateen. But the way Dakota styled this awful gown took everything next-level, right? The hair, OMG. This is just awful, from head to toe.
As for co-presenting with Jamie Dornan… he interacted with her like he was pretty convinced she was and is a Victorian ghost.
"You look familiar…"
"I'm sure I do…" #JamieDornan #DakotaJohnson #Oscars pic.twitter.com/SLiaLiM2iG— JamieDornanLondon (@JamieDornanLdn) February 27, 2017
Speaking of Jamie, here are some photos of him on the red carpet with his wife Amelia Warner. Her Emilia Wickstead dress is not great.
Salma Hayek wore McQueen. Her body is crazy but this is such a meh dress for her. The little tiara-headband doesn’t work with the dress either.
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.
when i first saw Dakota’s photo, i thought: Budget Marion Cotillard. even the dress.
The first thing I thought was that she had to time travel back to her 1800 hometown in Utah after the show.
The. f**k. is that.
Exactly. Has to be Worst of the Night. The dress AND the styling. Holy crap. Dreadful!
apparently half of her hair fell out, she didn’t wash it for a couple of weeks, she came straight from the gym after a steam, and let it drip dry into this.
Worst hair EVER. Her stylist must be a sadist.
Honestly, with better styling I think the dress could have worked. But her HAIR! My god it was awful. Your description did it justice. I think her makeup was blah, but hard to tell as I can’t stop staring at her hair.
On th runway the dress was an electric lavender – I can’t even describe it – and in motion it is spectacular. This washed out, motionless version is SO not working – just the way her personality comes across.
Her interview with Ryan really showed how she is still not ready for prime time.
She is so awkward. Dry as toast.
This look reminded me of something from Crimson Peake. That’s not a compliment.
The whole 50 shades thing is junk b grade cinema. I cringe.
@Love – you are way too kind. It’s junk d- grade cinema.
Two things nice about the dress are the color and the pleats on the bodice, everything else is a complete and utter disaster. Her hair and makeup emphasize how plain her face really is.
The guy who is at Gucci now needs to be fired. His most recent collection was just as hideous. I have no clue why he is getting rave reviews. Granny chic at its most expensive and tacky best.
nooo, i find her so pretty in a refreshing way. she looks like a human being, and not like some doll who had lots of plastic surgery.
She’s had a nose job, though that’s standard for Hollywood. Possibly some very subtle lip injections too. But she does still look relatively natural.
are you sure? to me she looks identical in her early pics.
I agree. I love that her faced isn’t tweaked. But she needs to learn how to use hair and make up to enhance the positive.
bringing back Gunne Sax in a shiny, cheesy way, including a bow that looks like a roo pouch…ugh, and it’s wrinkled.
Dakota needs new hair and makeup, stat.
“Her hair and makeup emphasize how plain her face really is.”
I kind of agree. I think the dress is on the verge of being frumpy, and I think she should have contrasted that with different hair and make-up. As it is, the styling doubles down on the frump factor.
I do think that fabric would do terrible things to most figures, so the fact that she looks so slender is an amazing feat.
Yes! With glamorous hair and makeup she might very pulled his off.
Dakota’s dress and hair were so bad! I can’t believe she thought it was OK to show up at the oscars looking like this.
Can we talk about Salma’s face? It looks off… something done around the eyes?
Browlift? She looks amazing, though.
Salma had the hair face-lift going on. When she was on the red carpet you could see how her hair stylist took two or three small sections of hair from the sides of her face and braided them and pulled them back tightly under that headband she was wearing. Viola! Easy eye lift.
Anare: I read many years ago about this trick, and that so many of the old-time stars did it. That would hurt! Meh, SH is another one who is still desperately trying to stay 25.
Selma got her eyes done. She is verging on Pimp Mama Kris territory.
Really? Just because Is not aging badly doesn’t mean she desperately wants to stay 25. 🙄
I know some of you hate bangs but if there was ever a girl who needed them! And I usually think she’s cute.
+1, she needs bangs and a shorter cut. Her hair is quite thin and letting it hang down like this is not a good idea. And I find it hilarious that she stars in FSOG and wears a dress where you can only see her head and hands. 🙂
I think you’re onto something! Identity crisis. Maybe she’ll become more self aware in her 30’s and finally figure out her best hair! And did she sell her soul doing this franchise? Seems SO uncomfortable with it all and it’s manifested in her “look”.
I was just thinking the same. The poor girl has a massive forehead and that hairstyle only emphasized it. Hate the dress too – the style, the colour and, does anyone look good in satin?
“…does anyone look good in satin?”
It reminds me of when I was about 20. My best friend from school was the eldest daughter in a family of 6 girls. She was from her mum’s first marriage, and looked nothing like her sisters, who arrived in quick succession – two were even born in the same year. They were all Lolita types. They’d go to clubs with older guys who’d somehow get them in, even though they were under age. They had a wardrobe full of colourful “sexy” satin dresses, which they’d share. One day, were all lolling about while they decided which dress each would wear that night, and I got roped into trying one on. Nooooooo!! Let me tell you. It wasn’t as if even they looked great in these frocks, but me….oh my god…horrors. Let’s just leave your question hanging, Chrissy, because it’s a very good question. 👗
Terrible. Criminal.
My first view of Dakota’s dress was from the side, and my god it’s like they just safety-pinned some satin sheets on her. And that color is so, so bad on her.
Just… no.
Exactly. Absolute worst dress & friggin’ hair. And in every pic Jamie looks like he’s trying to keep from sharting.
Her dress is pure Gucci and I really liked, but the hair is so wrong, like she didn’t had time to do something.
Also wrong, their chemistry. How can anyone believe in these two having good sex?
Jaime Dornan looks pissed off to even be standing next to his wife.
this dude always looks miserable.
And her facial expression says, “Don’t mind my husband, he’s just like this…”
He always looks constipated.
Amelia looks pregnant there. And also in the red gown she wore at the afterparty.
They seem like nice enough people who are quite boring. TBF to Jamie he can act but he didn’t really have a lot to work with with Christian Grey, Dakota has a bit more with Ana. I guess they really did struggle to cast the parts.
I was dragged to see it and I thought the ONLY somewhat enjoyable aspect was her charm. She worked her a** off on that movie (at least the 2nd one, I don’t even remember the 1st). He, on the other hand, was terrible. Just awful. And you can tell he does not want to be there. All the razzies for him.
That dress was a crime and her hair was awful as well. Yikes
+1
for no chemistry, they are one up on the first couple. he, at least, waited for her and walked with her.
BWAHAHAHA!!
disagree sooooooo much. dakota’s dress was just beautiful, one of the best looks of the night. i like fashion that looks a bit different tbh, otherwise they all dress the same.
I absolutely LOVE that dress. LOVE IT. She’s meh but the dress is wonderful
Adore the dress. Total Wallis Simpson. But Dakota is no wally Simpson. Ageeed , her hair looked sh*tty. She looks shitty as a brunette full stop. Should stick to her natural strawberry blonde.
dang – apart from the color, i like this dress ALOT. I havent seen any pics of it looking wrinkled at all (but ill keep looking). im hoping it’ll usher in the new era of ‘non-stripper’. i’ve been waiting.
Dakota: Looks like a Memento mori of your dead aunt Millie that they did back in the days before they put her in a coffin (which she matches, Duh! Aunty was fashionable!) which is a Nice dovetail to probably how MUCH she and Jamie Dornan would want to never see each other again let alone stand together
Also why is Salma such a let down : all this access and this is your best??
Salma consistently chooses the worst looks. I guess money can’t buy taste.
And too true about the funereal look. That dress says pleated casket-liner to me.
Exactly! Casket Liner Sharp
Miss Johnson’s gown is just awful. The choice of fabric, the apron, the heavy necklace on her already busy neckline and chest. Clearly this is THE worst look of the night. The designer should either go back to designing school or consider another profession. It is hard to think that anyone would find this dress appealing.
Her stylist must hate her!
That dress looks like it came out of a box in the attic marked 1980s prom decorations.
That necklace was ripped off the wall from the Claire’s beauty pageant section.
And add the HAIR!!!! No words.
She must have some vampire mirror complex going on, beause she sure didn’t look in one on the way out the door.
She surprised me on the VOGUE cover. She really quite pretty. In fact, she would have looked better if she’d taped the cover to her head.
Salma looks off.
She has access to incredible dresses AND AGAIN, she goes for the ugly.
That dress was awful, and much too old for her. It’s something a 70 year old person would wear. Her hair was dreadful, how do you go to the Oscars looking worse than the average woman leaving her yoga class?
Does anyone know who her stylist is, if she has one?
Maybe she borrowed it from Tippi Hedren…
Every time I see a photo of Dakota Johnson, I just want to scream, “BUY A COMB AND USE IT!” With the vast quantity of products and talented stylists in the world, there is no reason for her hair to always look so awful.
The thing is, she does have a hair person!
I liked the dress. She wore it well.
I have that exact dress – almost to the stitch – in my closet. It’s my grandmother’s wedding gown from 1946… beautiful for then… completely awful for now. And the styling… my god.
Was about to say that this looks like something Kathrine Hepburn could or even wore in the 30’/40’s. Rather odd nowadays but pretty standard back then
Yes, I like it for that reason. Very 30s/40s. But it needed a red lip and wavy hair.
Exactly. She needed the va-va-voom hair and lip and this look would have been stunning. She needed to channel her inner Joan Crawford.
YES!
I imagine Cate Blanchett pulling it off with that HAIR and some amazing styling, plus, just her presence!
Oh good gravy! Doesn’t she have people? Girlfriends? How did they let her walk out of the house in this dress which someone else with more sartorial sass might’ve been able to rock. But Dakota is NOT the one and the hair is so so bad.
I want to admire this dress because it’s not see-through, like I feel like every damn red carpet dress is lately and I want that trend to die so hard. But, the problem is Dakota Johnson is about as interesting as dish water (and NEVER gets the styling right), so the dress is a total fail.
Also, she is the worst on the red carpet. She has next to no personality, and it even makes interviewers uncomfortable because she’s so wooden, there’s no rapport, and she seems incapable of answering even the most basic questions. Can she please go away already?
YEssss… And she always acts put upon in them like she is doing the plebe a favor by stopping yet she’ll have her “fun” being sarcastic and aloof and weird on the interviewer, Right??
Scarlet
The person just described is not Dakota, but Jamie Dornan.
I think she’s a pretty girl, but it was like someone was trying to make her look as terrible as possible. That was the worst look of the award season, IMO.
Makes you wonder if stars and designers maybe ATTEMPT this in order to be talked about/remembered???
I actually love Dakota’s dress, but not on her really, or maybe it’s because her styling is so bad. Terrible hair looks like she took a bath in the sink.
I adore it, too. I hate dress bows of any kind especially front-bows, and I even think this one is very interesting, since it’s such an unusual shape. I love the Victorian geriatric-sexy aesthetic, for real! The colour is so beautiful, she’s somehow wearing satin without looking like a wrinkled mess, the front gathers are flattering, the over-dress-necklace is like awesome grandma steeze. The front-bow hides the front-wrinkles you’d get sitting down; the sleeves are more like 80s power-suit than Victorian puffs. I love it! Whoever made this is a genius. Her hair, though…
Ha! I like it too, and “awesome grandma steeze” is forever in my lexicon now!
Same here, that dress is gorgeous and unusual (I live for Victorian-looking dresses) but she has no style so of course she chose the most unflattering hair possible.
Her hair! So unflattering, and the dress is terrible. I actually like the occasional plain, full coverage, longsleeve down on the carpet, but only if they are of amazing material and perfectly fitted.
I don’t dislike salma’s as much as I probably should.
The color of the gown is beautiful. Other than that, it’s like she wore it as a joke. Horrible gown.
My first thought was “Someone’s been playing dress-up in grandma’s closet”.
ugh spaghetti straps? at the oscars, on an adult…no girl.
Terrible!
I don’t even know what to say, except maybe, what the hell was she thinking?
That is seriously one of the worst dresses I’ve ever seen. It looks like it belongs in the 19th century. And I hate to say this, knowing how much people around here hate bangs, but … I think Dakota looks better with bangs
Agree her hair looks awful- and bangs would do her a world of good. I would maybe have liked that dress in another color, esp on her, but this is beyond blah.
I liked Jamie’s wife’s dress- thought the color was lovely. Cue the “chemistry” comments that are mandatory- honestly, at the end of the day they are co-workers. It is a live event seen by a zillion people. They interacted just fine. I thought her line was pretty cute and understated. If he had said back ” so do you!”, would that be a sign of combustion?
Dakota’s whole look makes me want to cry. That hair!!! She’s so pretty, and she just looks hideous here.
All I could think when I saw her was, Man-your stylist must f**king hate your guts. Either that or she’s one of the misguided souls who dresses themselves when they don’t realize they have no sense of style.
And the hair. Oy.
fun fact: apparently there are some nutters on tumblr who believe that Dakota und Jaime love each other and have been secretly dating for years. The studio forced him to get married to have a more wholesome image (or maybe his wife forced him? Cannot remember).
They even say that their chemistry is so obvious and that you can see how much they love each other 😀 😀
They’re probably Twilight Kristen/Rob stans who have aged out of teen literature.
I thought Dakota Johnson’s gown was beautiful. It reminded me of something from the 1930’s. But her hair! In all of her red carpet appearances lately her hair has just been awful. I think she is lovely and makes interesting fashion choices. But she needs a softer hair style and she needs do actually do something with her hair for an event like this. Her lank hair killed the glamour of that dress.
She looked like a walking example of soggy milquetoast.
I like Dakotas Gucci dress. It has 1930-40’s feel. It unfortunate she didn’t care to style her hair or hire a professional makeup artist. It took away from what could have been a really glamourous look.
God, Amelia Warner is SO pretty. I wish this dress hadn’t happened to her, but her face still looks gorgeous.
But you guys, I can’t take it anymore, Salma Hayek married a fashion label mega-king. She literally has her pick of anything she wants. Yet, her style has gone DRAMATICALLY downhill. WTF. You’re wasting your advantage, Salma.
Dakota’s dress is horrid. Also, does her face look different? Jamie Dornan’s beard makes him look like a muppet.
Dakota looks so much like her dad and that dress would have looked nice on Dita von Teese. She can look cute but she still has some way to go.
Salma’s style ironically started to suck after she got married into a fashion empire. Go figure.
Salma’/ headband, ugh where do I even start. What’s with the schoolgirl look
Dakota is just overdone and no personality to compensate for the old-fashioned, 20s luxe look she’s not selling well. And the material looks cheap and cheesy.
Salma usually comes close to getting it right but there’s always something just not fitting right or the dress is off.
Was Dakota trying to emulate a gold statue that she is never going to get? I have yet to see her wear anything good. Her wardrobe choices for the premiere of that god-awful movie were forgettable as well. Please, dear child, get another stylist and do something with that hair!! I can totally see her having a short ‘do like Anne Hathaway. She could pull it off.
That dress is for someone as striking as 1950’s Elizabeth Taylor or Ava Gardner.
Love Dakota, but that is the ugliest dress EVER.
Jamie seems like no fun to me. That pic with his wife looks very….uncomfortable.
Dakota is the living embodiment of nepotism. If it weren’t for her family, we’d never have seen her. As for her get-up…….
Salma is having some sort of mid-life crisis. That’s the only explanation for the boob-tastic lingerie dress topped off with the hair (and band) of a six year old. She’s got a great bod, but she could get the point across in a more refined way, imo
Ive been told by an actor who worked on the set of Fifty Shades that Dakota Johnson has no personality and zero chemistry with Jamie Dornan. Apparently the part was bought for her by Mommy and Daddy. It happens in HW all of the time. Her dress is a disaster.
I’ve never seen them but apparently she’s good in those movies? Also, considering that role was so highly publicised, I’m wondering how anyone could have bought it and what they could offer as an incentive – I mean, it would have worked just as well with an unknown (since the people the fans wanted for the role kept turning it down)
Not to mention, noted kingpins Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith?
I was told they paid for her have that part because her career was going nowhere. Untrue? I dont know but someone is trying to make her happen. I find her bland and feel mean saying this but she’s homely.
Who would they pay what? While successful, do those two really have that money? And who on earth would they have paid? Not to mention, no one worth getting wanted that part, by the time she was cast they were desperate. Dakota has been on an upswing for a while (she’s not my cup of tea but she’s worked pretty consistently), and while there may be no doubt that her parents helped her get her start and connected her, I have a hard time believing they straight up paid someone.
Fugly as sin!
I’ll also join the crowd saying she should stick with bangs. From a fellow five-header, learn to disguise the massive forehead!
I think Dakota went for something so victorian to detach herself from the FSOG debacle. A different hair style (bangs?) might have helped a bit but still that dress is awful.
I like Dakota´s dress….
That gown is pure 1930’s liquid satin in the most gorgeous colour on earth. That is one heck of a gown, Im stunned.
Her hair though…. yikes.
Please don’t hate me, but THIS dress is UGLY! UGLY!!!
I still can’t get over this dress.
She is very beautiful woman, but in this dress she looked awful.
I don’t like her hair, I don’t like her accessories. I can’t believe it’s Gucci!? Gucci? WTF?
And her stylist is Kate Young. Awful choise, awful.
Do you remember her Yves Saint Laurent at the 2015 Academy Awards? The red one. She looked stunning. She rocked. And her Valentino at Fifty Shades Darker Premiere?
But … I like her Vanity Fair Oscar party dress. Better … much more better …
I recognize Dakota’s dress. I donated it to Goodwill last week.
Salma’s dress is a feat in engineering. 🏀🏀
I kind of like the whole look because it’s DIFFERENT. I feel like once you’ve seen one fitted, sparkly gown you’ve seem them all. Same with her hair. I give her a lot of credit for trying something totally different from the usual Hollywood starlet.
Imagine how different that dress of Dakota’s would look a) without that horrendous bow at the front and b) on someone like Dita Von Teese. That would be perfection all round. But unfortunately for Dakota the dress is definitely wearing her and she would have looked so much better with some vampy makeup, a long shaggy fringe and a high up-do. Sigh.
I actually like Dakota Johnson. She doesn’t seem stuck up and her head hasn’t gotten big with the success of 50 shades. You couldn’t pay me to watch her in 50 shades but I think she’s great. The dress is bad, but saw worst dresses on the red carpet
Dakota has been wearing a lot of Gucci – is a deal in the making or already happened?
I actually really like this dress but not on Dakota. She’s so plain and boring…she doesn’t have the elegance or allure to pull off such an ornate style. That dress would look gorgeous on Charlize Theron or Cate Blanchett.
I don’t mind the dress, but not on Dakota, and not with that styling.
won’t judge that dress on her because she fouled it up with that limp flat color hair. and dead eyes/face. and glomming on of the necklace which should have never happened. that neckline is an earrings only neckline.
poor salma. so desperate in her lingerie. she literally has her choice of all the gowns and all the jewels and yet… sad.
she is lovely to look at if you don’t look at what she chooses to wear.
I actually like the dress. Everything about it screams 1940’s glamour.
That said, the dress belongs in a period piece about 1940’s Hollywood, and does not translate to a 2017 red carpet. Sad, but true.
Her hair is a disaster but I like the dress.
Dakota is a beautiful girl but she will never pull off that hairstyle with THAT forehead. It’s so distracting I couldn’t pay attention to anything else about the look. Which was probably a good thing, considering how awful her dress looked. The dress itself was actually quite pretty and classic but it takes someone with more personality and elegance to carry it properly. Someone like her grandma Tippi Hedren. Stronger make up would’ve done wonders as well.
Salma has never dressed well in her life. It’s ironic she ended up marrying some high fashion billionaire considering how bad her style is.
Jamie’s wife looked great though I believe the dress should’ve been adjusted on the waist. Looked a bit too loose and shapeless. But overall it wasn’t a bad look.
I like Dakota’s dress actually. I looked at it a while and was like…nah I think the hair (which does look nice) just doesn’t go with that dress.