Sometimes, I think people unfairly criticize Ariana Grande for the way she looks and styles herself. Like, she can’t help that she’s a really petite woman, nor can she help that she has a baby-face and she often “reads” as much younger than her 23 years (she looks like she’s about 13 years old). That being said, I do think she plays up the very problematic “sexy baby” image. Take this Cosmopolitan cover for instance. Her clothes are fine, the extensions are ridiculous, and you know she forced Cosmo into using her “good side.” But what’s driving me crazy is her pose. She’s trying to do the “fingers on the mouth” pose but it reads as “sexy baby sucks her thumb.” Which is gross for a women’s magazine. I’m so tired of grown women infantilizing themselves, and I’m tired of women’s magazines promoting those images. Anyway, Ariana covers Cosmo’s April issue, and you can see the feature here. Some highlights:

On being strong and having a voice: “A lot of times, women are labeled as a bitch or a diva for having a vision and being strong and using their voice, and it’s just not the case. You can be strong and be friendly. [We] don’t have to be just one thing.”

On falling in love: “I’ve never looked at love as something that I need to complete me. I would like to be complete on my own first and fall in love with somebody who is also complete. You can still celebrate and be totally obsessed with each other, but I want to feel a hundred percent myself so that I can love that person better.”

On her boyfriend, Mac Miller: “I met him when I was 19. We have loved and adored and respected each other since the beginning, since before we even met, just because we were fans of each other’s talent. We weren’t ready at all, though, to be together. It’s just timing. We both needed to experience some things, but the love has been there the whole time.”

On Madonna: “I have the utmost respect for that woman. I love her with every ounce of my being, and not just because I’m obsessed with her entire discography. I’m so inspired by her bravery and her strength. I can look at her and not be scared to be strong.”

[From Cosmopolitan]

In the past, I’ve sort of defended Ariana’s feminist musings, and I’m about to do the same here. Like, do I think Ariana is the biggest feminist to ever feminism? No, she’s not. But she’s actually thought about what she’s presenting to the world – which makes the “sexy baby” thing difficult to take – and she defends herself pretty well. That being said, “You can be strong and be friendly” is not and should not be the priority for women. By putting it in those terms, you’re focused on being likeable and you’re focused on how people react to you and your badassery. How about this? I don’t give a sh-t if you don’t think I’m friendly. I have the right to exist and create and live my life without being diminished as being “unfriendly” or a bitchy diva. (Except that I’m pretty sure Ariana is in fact quite unfriendly and quite a diva.)

Photos courtesy of Eric Ray Davidson for Cosmopolitan.