There’s a great David Sedaris essay where he talks about what he misses most about living in America – Sedaris was living full-time in France at the time – and one of the things he missed the most was our very gauche American habit talking about money, and the love of talking about money. I LOVE talking about money. I don’t mean that I enjoy it when rich people talk about being rich, although I do hate it when rich people try to be “oh, I’m so normal and middle class!” I just like talking about money generally. How much is her yearly salary? How much cash on hand should he have? Do they have a Money Market Account? At what age should I start a Roth IRA? That kind of thing. Well, the site Wealthsimple.com has created a feature just for me: celebrities talking about money, and their history of financial messes. Anthony Bourdain had an IRS problems. Anthony Bourdain didn’t have a saving account until he was 44 years old! You can read the full piece here. Some highlights:

No savings account for much of his life: “I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging about this, but the sad fact is, until 44 years of age, I never had any kind of savings account. I’d always been under the gun. I’d always owed money. I’d always been selfish and completely irresponsible.

Early adulthood: “I didn’t put anything aside, ever. Money came in, money went out. I was always a paycheck behind, at least. I usually owed my chef my paycheck: again, cocaine.”

Living on borrowed money: “When I was a working cook and chef, going to the Caribbean was always the great indulgence. I’d find myself either with a fresh credit card, or maybe having somehow paid down the previous one though I don’t remember actually ever doing that. We’d go to the Caribbean, stay as long as possible, and burn through all the credit on a card. I’d have to quit my job to go, but when I came back there was always work. I changed jobs an average of about once a year.

His first taste of fame: “When Kitchen Confidential was published, I hadn’t filed taxes in about 10 years. I was seriously behind on rent. It had been about a decade since I’d communicated with American Express in a timely manner. In my daily life, the goal was to muffle the anxiety that I’d feel as I tried to drift off to sleep knowing that, at any point, what little money I had in my bank account could be garnished by the IRS or the credit card company. The landlord could kick me to the curb. That was my reality for many years.

He only learned about saving money when he became famous: “That was really the first time I started thinking about saving money… In very short order, I contacted the IRS and I paid what I owed. I paid American Express. Since that time, I am fanatical about not owing anybody any money. I hate it. I don’t want to carry a balance, ever. I have a mortgage, but I despise the idea. That was my biggest objection to buying property, though I wasn’t in the position to pay cash.

He still doesn’t live sensibly: “The reports of my net worth are about ten times overstated. I think the people who calculate these things assume that I live a lot more sensibly than I do. I mean, I don’t live recklessly — I have one car. But I don’t deprive myself simple pleasures. I’m not a haggler. There’s not enough time in the world. I tend to go for the quickest, easiest, what’s comfortable. I want it now. Time’s running out.

He still doesn’t pay much attention to his investments though: “I’d like my daughter and her mom looked after, both while I’m alive and after. They shouldn’t have to worry if something bad happens, so my investments and savings are based on that. I’m super-conservative… My investments advisor understands that I’m not looking to score big on the stock market or bonds. I have zero understanding of it and zero interest. Life is too short. I like a limited amount of mail, and a limited amount of conversations with people who make the investments. If the money’s not less money every time I look at it, I’m pretty happy. If it’s a little bit more, great.

Paying taxes: “Nobody likes paying high taxes, but I don’t mind. Maybe that’s a luxury, but I don’t need to hire some hotshot to spend 12 hours a day figuring out how to chisel the government out of an extra few thousand dollars. If getting that extra money means a lot of phone calls and talking to financial analysts and lawyers, I don’t want it. I don’t want to have those conversations. A friend said, “You live outside the country more than half of the year. Create a bogus residence in the Caymans and pay no U.S. taxes.” I’d feel like a sh-t doing that. I’m an American. I don’t want to be that guy.”

[From Wealth Simple]

There are many references to drugs in his early years – I knew that Bourdain liked to “partake” in his youth, but I guess I didn’t realize he spent his teenage years, his 20s and much of his 30s in a marijuana and cocaine haze, which YEAH is totally a factor in his money management skills. What’s interesting to me is that I never really thought of financial illiteracy as a generational thing, but it totally is – kids learn how to deal with money stuff from watching their parents. Bourdain says his parents always worked but always spent more than they had, which explains a lot about his early years. Even though I like to consider myself financially literate, I have to admit that I invest the same way as Bourdain – low-risk, no drama, just tuck away some money and be done with it. I also hate to owe anything, it makes me feel itchy right now that I have a balance on one of my credit cards. Still, I’ve had a savings account since I was a kid. So I feel a little superior to Anthony Bourdain.

Photos courtesy of WENN.