I don’t know when this whole trend of “Promposals” started, but they are truly getting out of hand. And, not only are kids asking their crushes/squeezes to the dance in outrageously elaborate ways, many are asking celebrities to be their dates. Jimmy Kimmel used his show to try and put an end to the latter with an hilarious public service announcement.
Jimmy’s monologue was inspired by a Phoenix, Arizona teenager who made a La La Land-themed video, reworking the lyrics from the movie’s opening number, “Another Day of Sun,” to ask Oscar winner Emma Stone to accompany him to his prom. The self-professed Ryan Gosling look-a-like got turned down by Emma, who is working on a project in London. The enthusiastic teenager extended his 15 minutes of viral fame by reading her (sweet) rejection letter on Good Morning America. In her note, Emma kindly noted, “I do see Gosling around the eyes.”
Well Kimmel wasn’t having it. On Wednesday, he called for a moratorium on these celebrity invitations, telling lovelorn teens “don’t look for your prom date in Us Weekly. It’s not cute.” He had lots to say about the “obnoxious” new trend, including,
It’s a cute story. I know, I get it, but it’s also terrible and it has to be stopped. Listen, kid. Emma Stone, whether she’s in London or not, doesn’t want to go to the prom with you. At all. Like it’s probably the last thing she wants to do and not because she’s in London working. She doesn’t want to go to a dance with you because she’s 28, and 28-year-old people don’t want to go on dates with 16-year-old children because it’s creepy.
[From Jimmy Kimmel Live! via E! News]
Not only is the whole celebrity prom date concept creepy, it’s also akin to a “hostage situation,” because, as Jimmy put it, “if Emma Stone didn’t write him a letter, then she would look like a jerk.” He concluded his brutally honest rant by offering some helpful advice to high schoolers looking for a date, “Go to the cafeteria, find someone your own age and paw him or her in the back of a limo.”
Jimmy’s close to my age, and I am so with him on this. I know we’ll never go back to the old days, when, as Jimmy recalled, “You liked a girl, so you called her house. When she answered the phone, you got scared and hung the phone up.” Funny joke, true stuff. I went to the prom with a friend of mine, only after the guy I was dating (who went to a different high school) “forgot” to ask me until the week before. Of course, I’m not a big fan of splashy wedding proposals either. I hope that doesn’t make me a grumpy old lady, I just like things the sweet, subtle, romantic way they were. (Of course, I say this now, but if I were in high school today, I probably would have asked Jon Hamm to go with me to prom by now.)
Photos: Getty Images, WENN.com, Fame Flynet
This trend needs to die. This is not cute, it’s creepy. There’s a weird power thing in this situation, if Emma didn’t answer she’s the asshole basicaly, and I’m 19. I fail to understand those overconfident teenagers, of course in France prom is not a thing.
I agree with you, and for once I agree with Kimmel. These people put celebrities in a no-win situation and that sense of entitlement needs to be quashed before they turn into adults who attack women for saying no in a bar.
But the trend is as old as celebrity. Now it’s being done on video, but it’s always been done by letter, or signs at concerts, or the like. It’s not new at all and Kimmel is just bloviating.
Yeah, it’s almost as bad as proposing to someone in front of an entire stadium full of people.
I don’t like the prom or even the military proposals. It puts the celebrity in a tight spot because often they get criticized. When Mila Kunis did it a few years ago, I think she was joking when she said she’ll go after getting so much pressure from Justin and the interviewer. But it snowballed rapidly and she had no choice. I think it’s creepy for an adult to take a kid to prom. It’s also extremely awkward to go on a date with a complete stranger.
I agree with him. its the same with these 17-18 year old ‘fans’ on instagram/twitter asking these basketball/football athletes to be their prom dates. And the athletes agree. I always side eye that shady sh#t. Even models do the same thing.
To be fair, at that age, most of us may not think it was foolish. We think it’s whimsical and a thrill. It’s only with age that it looks really dumb. For example, even for hand holding, I actually cringe when I see early teens hold hands and think they’ve found the one (I’m in my 30s). But when I was that age, I couldn’t care less, it was us against the world kind of foolishness lol.
Holding hands? Really?..
Yes! I’m a liberal, it’s not the hand holding so much. It’s like…shouldn’t you kids be in school instead of dating kind of cringe. I’m not even a parent. Of course when they are dating at tertiary level, I don’t cringe. I’m not saying it’s definitely wrong, just that some kids really look very young, especially Asian kids (I’m in Asia).
This is partly the fault of social media..they read celeb tweets or posts, not realizing they’re for promo purposes, and feel like they ‘know’ them as well as their other ‘twitter friends’. No way a few decades ago would a teen call a celeb with anything this silly–and they wouldn’t have a way to reach them anyway (fan letter to his agency?).
Agreed. Social media accounts can really make a celeb seem more “real” and accessible. On the flip side, some people really need to stop oversharing so much on social media, too, and take ownership of their own privacy. I follow a quasi-celeb — she’s an author, blogger, podcaster with a decent following and I cannot believe how much of her personal life, really intimate moments, including her romances and her kids, that she constantly puts out there.
Absolutely
I agree it needs to stop. I mean, if you want to make a parody video for fun, great! I hope it gets you extra credit in drama class or whatever but leave celebrities out of this. It puts them in an awful position and if they do it for one, why not all? 🙄
And while we are at it the “boosting” requests for ill kids/adults online to meet a celeb needs to STOP! It’s gross. Contact the Children’s Wish Foundation or any number of charities, or google for two minutes and find out the celeb’s agency. Make the request that way. Contrary to Internet belief, 50000 retweets does not mean your message is out.
If I were a celeb I would be frightened to see that kind of promposal. I would be concerned that this kid is well on his way to becoming my obsessed stalker that might show up at my home and do me harm if I ignore him. And then GMA stupidly gives him attention and a platform for his stalkerish behavior. Poor Emma.
Yes, it’s a pretty big red flag, albeit wrapped up in a cutesy package. Poor Emma indeed.
Wasn’t there a female celeb destroyed a few years back for saying she tossed a teddy bear sent to her by a young fan? And she had to go on to explain that she doesn’t accept ANYTHING from fans as she would get everything from teddy bears to diamonds. She felt like it was an intrusion on her personal space and didn’t want to give any crazy stalkers even the slightest impression that they had a chance.
Think it may have been Megan Fox?
Anna Kendrick. A fan sent earrings direct to her house and people yelled at her for throwing them out. I listened to her explain it on Maron’s podcast, and I get it.
I wonder if teenagers used to write letters, but we never heard about it.
The medium through which you can ask a celebrity out on a date has probably simply changed.
Maybe the media should simply stop giving these teenagers attention for sending proposals through Youtube.
They did, my friends and I used to write letters to celebreties dreaming they might show an interest in us. We usually got some autographed photos from their agency in return, which seems pretty normal and healthy in hindsight.
I think when this whole phenomena began with Kunis it was a cute (albeit kinda creepy) request. Now there’s this mild entitlement piece that’s latched itself on to it, where people kind of expect these stars to say yes and if they don’t- the stars get labeled as jerks. Although Emma handled this very well, why should she but put in this situation in the first place?
Totally agree.
“If Emma Stone didn’t write him a letter, then she would look like a jerk”
I agree with this too. In fact, jimmy says it all and I get that we all have some sort of celebrity crush but find someone your own age, kid.
My junior prom date and I decided to go together while sitting next to each other in the cafeteria eating our lunch. It would never have occurred to me that I was missing out on a “promposal”. Teenagers are so freaking ridiculous these days.
this ‘trend’ reminds me of how privileged and delusional younger people are these days.
Also how they do many of the things they do to impress others, rather than doing things for themselves.
gotta get that 15 seconds of internet fame for trying though amirite?!
“privileged and delusional younger people” – whatever…older people elected Trump, but okay.
I feel extremely “get of my lawn” old lady-ish about the entire prom-posal phenomenon, but Kimmel is 100% correct, the asking of celebs as “dates” to weddings, proms, bar mitzvahs, military balls, etc. must stop. The first time, OK, so sorta cute. But that’s it. The idea expired. Someone else already had it. Buh-bye.
When 12-year-old (extremely stupid) me wrote a fan letter to Kirk Cameron, it’s not like I expected him to pop over and ask me to the movies. Heck, knowing what we all know now, he probably would have sent me some weird religious tract that would have totally made me question my not un-sizable investment in Tiger Beat posters, even at that tender age. Instead, I got a couple more years before I started seriously regretting that celeb crush.
I happen to be an oddball who actually met my most serious teen crush, an Olympic athlete, who actually ended up working for my husband. Because he was in a minor sport, only spotlit every four years, I had to do a lot of research to get more info on him, which is kind of what lead me into sports journalism, which is where I met my husband, which is how said crush ended up employed by the father of my children.
Still not sure if former-crush thought it was cute, or creepy, when I told him one night at dinner how weird it was to have him at my table, since I’d had pictures of him in my locker in high school. Glad I left out the part about how, if not for seeing him in the Games all those years ago, my kids would not exist. Talk about TMI, LOL. Oh and, by the way, even though I saw him every day for years, I still always had that oh-my-god-it’s-really-him thought, even though the flame of my crush had long since burnt out. (And, yes, my husband was well aware and had heard ALL the stories. When he was interviewing candidates he was like, ‘Well, I know who you recommend.’)
This ranks right up there with kids calling celebrities Mommy/Daddy. Super creepy. They ran Hayley Atwell off Twitter/Instagram with that nonsense.
My niece told me that one of her teachers encourages her students to write celebs though not necessarily ask them to prom. If the celeb responds, the teacher gives them extra points at the end of semester but they have to present it in class for proof. I find this celeb chasing shallow and stupid (that is saying a lot since I am celeb stan for life). Otoh, I find it cool that some of them would write to scientists, Nobel Prize awardees, astronauts and authors like Neil Gaiman, who has a habit of replying and retweeting fans.
Completely agree with Jimmy. Regardless of how good your intentions may be, you’re putting yourself in a very creepy position. Just don’t.
EVen if it wasnt creepy and there wasnt this stupid pressure on celebs to act along: How is this still a thing? Its been years since the first guy did it. At least that dude had an original idea.
There also is a trend to make huge prom proposals. Not for a special person but for the internet to see.
At a point I start side eyeing the parents too.
If my theoretical child was putting together this big proposal thing, with tons of pressure and glitz and glamour with the intent of putting it on the internet, I would be talking to them about it. Especially putting that pressure on a stranger. I can’t believe this is still going on.
I despise public proposals though, I just feel they are disrespectful in general unless you specifically know the other person is cool with it.
At a point I start side eyeing the parents too.
If my theoretical child was putting together this big proposal thing, with tons of pressure and glitz and glamour with the intent of putting it on the internet, I would be talking to them about it. Especially putting that pressure on a stranger.
I despise public proposals though, I just feel they are disrespectful in general unless you specifically know the other person is cool with it.
The veterans or marines kept asking the likes of Mila Kunis, Justin Timberlake etc. to their dances or formal gatherings, or whatever those things are called, in a public way. When some marine with one leg asks you for a dance, you get off your A-list ass and go.
Otherwise you look like a dick.
These dumbass kids clocked the situation, surmising this is something they can ask and random celebs will have to reply. It is the done thing now!
Nothing about being a veteran or marine means you are owed a date with anyone. It looks even worse when they do it, because they should- as adults- have enough respect for other people not to try to use their (volunteer- there’s not draft or compulsory service in the US) military service as a guilt card on a total stranger.
It’s not just celebs. The whole idea of pressuring anyone into a date is wrong. Take public wedding proposals for instance, you’re pressuring your partner into saying yes if you do it publicly. Are you sure you’re asking them, not telling them? Give them a chance to think about it and answer honestly.
The whole “promprosal” thing needs to die. It’s prom. The whole point is to get laid if you haven’t already. Or spike the punch. Or just hang out with your friends in really ugly, left-on-the-floor beauty pageant dresses. Going over the top to ask someone to a dance will make anyone look like an asshole if they said no, regardless if they are a celebrity or not.
The promposal stuff is really over the top. Also, I have been reading about so many racist promposals over the last few years, like kids asking black dates out with signs like ” You may be picking cotton but we’re picking you to go to prom with us” and other kfc “I prefer dark meat” crap…yeah these things need to die. Just ask someone to prom without the elaborate plans. It is just prom.
I’m already starting to teach my five year old (privileged white male) about letting people say no to hugs (and that it’s ok to say no to people) and giving people their space and about bodily agency and all that crap-and the more important WHYS behind it now. I feel like that’s the forerunner to preventing stupid shit like this. You do not OWN anyone and you do not have the right to anyone-even if they have placed themself in a public forum, even if they are wearing a crop top and a short skirt, even in they were in sex scenes… I feel like rape culture is Kevin Bacon these days, everything ties back to it, but these attitudes grow out of an idea of “you’re public property because of what you’ve chosen to do for a living.”
You tell your poor son he’s a privileged white male? How horrifying. That poor boy, why are you trying to warp him? Does he have a father?
@tashkent
I hope you’re kidding, but just in case you’re not, here goes:
1) yes, my son has a very active, involved, wonderful, adoring father;
2) I tell him he has privilege because he does, and if he understands it and how to leverage it, he might use that to be a force for good in this world;
3) he’s privileged because mommy and daddy are among the top 3% of income earners in the US, he goes to private school, lives in a big ass house, parents have a second home, etc. We’re not “wealthy,” but he is going to grow up knowing he has a lot of financial benefits, and he needs to know that doesn’t mean that he is special;
4) I will NOT raise a Brock Turner.
My son is adored, played with, spoiled, given attention, plenty of free play, activities, affection, family time, family meals-you name it-but he is also taught right from wrong and he will be taught boundaries and bodily agency at an age appropriate level. Period.
Thank you, LizLemonGotMarried. I and anyone he is in a future relationship with thoroughly appreciate it. Keep it up!
So heartened to read about a parent doing it right.
It’s not just celebs who are treated like property. As a young woman I remember men asking me “Why not?” if I didn’t want to give them my phone number. It was as if I didn’t have the right to say no unless they felt my excuse was valid and the only valid excuse for them was that I already had a boyfriend (i.e. property of another man). So gross.
I don’t have kids, but I’ve adopted this approach with my friend’s kids. We always ask them if they want to hug and kiss, and we make it clear they have a right to refuse the hug if they don’t want it. Teach respect of those boundaries early, yo.
Public wedding proposals need to go far away. My husband wanted to propose at a Cubs game. He correctly assessed that I would be horrified and instead proposed at our dining room table the night before the game. Oh, and Kimmel’s wife is really cool!
I feel sad that people don’t seem to value privacy any longer. I don’t have social media and don’t share my business with others. Why would anyone want the world watching them? I truly don’t understand the desire for attention like this.
Promposals are so dumb and pretty expensive. Isn’t prom expensive enough? The pressure on the guys to come up with a promposal so good the girl can “post it” to social media is insane. STOP. I didn’t go to my prom (by choice) so what do I know though.
I agree. It’s stupid. It’s another lame way to try to get attention via social media/the internet.
[*Go play outside kid.*]
I used to think it would be so cool to be a celebrity, but not in this day and age. This kind of stuff is super-creepy and I would be overwhelmed with anxiety for the safety of myself and my family. The kid is probably a sweet, normal kid but Kimmel’s right. The trend needs to die.
I agree it should stop and celebrities should not be put in that position.
I also hate these promposals that kids are doing. One of my “friends” from high school posted pics of her kid’s, it was this huge production with signs and about 30 people in the middle of their neighborhood. So stupid, and too much pressure.
Hear, hear, to Jimmy et al. This creepy trend needs to go away for the myriad of reasons already mentioned.
It isn’t/wasn’t cute when people in the military were doing it, either. I don’t hear much about those anymore, I wonder if someone in charge put a stop to it.
I think this trend has been around a while. I went to a prom where Debbie Gibson was someone’s date. She was the guy’s cousin’s best friend’s sister or something. Poor girl was probably guilted into it.