Connie Britton: it’s ‘fake news’ that we’re not sexy over 40

Connie Britton, 50, is one of three Good Housekeeping cover women this May. All the interviews are surprisingly candid and thorough. Good Housekeeping did a good job with getting the celebrities to open up, and with the editorials, which are peach-colored and evocative of spring. Also featured are Tracee Ellis Ross and Rashida Jones. Connie’s interview focuses on self image and change, and she talked about her decision to adopt a child from Ethiopia five years ago, and how she’s considering adopting another. Connie is one of my celebrity crushes. She’s not always on point fashion-wise, but she has amazing hair. I remember when I first noticed her, in the first season of American Horror Story. (I didn’t watch Friday Night Lights.) She’s such a striking woman. She doesn’t look Botoxed or filled at all either, and that’s rare. Anyway here’s some of what she told Good Housekeeping, with more at the source including the photos.

On feeling sexy
That whole stigma of being over 40 and not being sexy anymore is fake news. We’re more vibrant because we have experience, we know our bodies. I have a friend who says that you always want to make sure it’s your life that you’re living — it’s a constant mantra.

I don’t know a single woman in her 40s who isn’t incredibly full of life and sexuality and desire for everything. There’s nothing sexier than life experience, and there’s nothing sexier than knowing your own body and having a little bit of experience with that!

On her hair being famous
I actually neglect it. It’s easiest when it’s long, but I’d consider chopping it off. I don’t want to be attached to this external thing.

I try to put as little stuff into my hair as I can, which tends to be the best for it. I started hearing people say, ‘There’s a blog about your hair, and there are all of these Tumblr accounts.’ I’m like, ‘What’s Tumblr?’” I’m pretty mystified by it, because I look around and a lot of people have great hair.”

On deciding to adopt her son
I lost my mom to breast cancer, and then I lost my father three years later. I thought, What am I waiting for? Motherhood has been the greatest gift of my life. I have a friend who is very active with orphanages in Ethiopia, and he had just come back from a trip where he had been spending time with the orphans. I was incredibly compelled by the sort of light around them even though they were living in extreme poverty without parents. Some of them had AIDS. It made me want to go to Ethiopia and to see how I could help. Right now I’ve got one kid and there’s one of me, and if I find a man who wants to have another child, I’d love to do it. I might do it as a single mom, too.

[From Good Housekeeping]

Later in the interview she talked about leaving Nashville and how moving it was to say goodbye to the other castmembers. She also called Meryl Streep her role model and said that Meryl taught her about courage in life and in her career. I agree that I feel better about myself now, at 44, than I did in my 30s. Most of the time I’m really happy where I am in life and it’s easier for me to be myself. That’s sexy, when you know what you like to do and want you want out of life and when you pursue that. Also, I like that she admits that she’s looking for a partner but that it won’t dictate her life decisions. There’s something powerful about that.

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24 Responses to “Connie Britton: it’s ‘fake news’ that we’re not sexy over 40”

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  1. Prairiegirl says:

    Preach, Connie!

  2. Cynthia says:

    I have always said, I wish we were ageing in reversal. What is so sexy about growing older, is becoming comfortable in your own skin, and not giving a Sh*t what people think.

  3. boredblond says:

    I guess I missed that ‘news’ story..the idea is, however, perpetuated by the entertainment industry

  4. INeedANap says:

    I am HERE for older, elegant women with wisdom and experience. I have nothing against the younger chickies but these strong women are my aspirations.

    She seems like the fun older aunt who takes you to the bar and sets you straight on that loser boyfriend of yours.

  5. Tiny Martian says:

    Here’s the thing: any woman over the age of 40 or so who is still worrying about whether or not she is “sexy”, isn’t sexy at all in my book. Worrying about your sexual worth is for teenagers.

    • Kitten says:

      I don’t think it’s necessarily something women inherently “worry” about, but I do think in our youth-obsessed culture that women past 40 are generally not acknowledged as sexually desirable. I think Connie’s point was that public perception about female sexuality is very skewed to promote ageism. I also think it’s commendable for women over 40 to set the record straight about that shit.

    • Tashkent says:

      Yes! I am so sick of the relentless “be sexy!” pressure. Maybe I don’t want to be sexy! I don’t want my daughters thinking that being sexy is so important, but that’s what every single media and societal expectation is for women. It used to be that older women could just let it go if they wanted and it not be a moral failing, but now we are expected to be desirable and compete with 20 somethings. Nothing sadder than mutton dressed as lamb like the Real Housewives or practically everyone else in the media. It is so annoying!

  6. Kitten says:

    She really is sexy and I love what she has to say. Also major hair-envy.

  7. Spiderpigg says:

    Love her!

  8. lizzie says:

    She was with Jason Mantzoukas for several years. I listen to a lot of podcasts and a few times he digs into it, not naming her or even alluding to her, but about relationships. If she is the relationship in any of these stories she was the love of his life that will haunt him forever. I like to think it’s her!

  9. Lola Lola says:

    I couldn’t agree more! Life experience is Sexy. I was just explaining this to a friend who didn’t understand by I ignore emails on OK cupid from 20-somethings. I don’t find young men without any life experience sexy. Character shows on our faces. Our heart break, disappointments but also our achievements, great loves & successes. If only Hollywood could understand that. I’d take Peter Capaldi over any hot 20-something any day of the week.

  10. Betsy says:

    I like her.

  11. Abbess Tansy says:

    I admire her, and I think she has some good points about marriage and being single.

  12. Pinetree13 says:

    I wish I could feel as positive about aging as this. Truth is, I feel like I’m becoming less sexy every year and objectively it’s true. It’s very clear in photographs that my face is aging and I’m not photogenic like I was before.

    Instead I’m trying to tell myself…why does that matter? Do I have to be beautiful? Some people never were and they don’t go around mourning the fact. I’m trying to learn to value myself for things that don’t have to do with my appearance. Even if I remain pretty into my 40′s …what will I do in my 70′s? 80′s? Or however old I’m lucky enough to make it to. Eventually an age will come when I won’t be viewed as sexy at all. I figure the sooner I can let go of the need to be feel appreciated for my appearance the better off I’ll be in the long run.

    It’s hard though, it’s hard to let go of.

    • Tashkent says:

      Being sexy is overrated. I was cute enough when I was young but now I am 35 and done with that game. I want to be covered up in shapeless and long dresses and jackets. I am thin enough and if I dressed it up I would be “sexy” but even when I was young I hated it all. I have kids and responsibilities and interests that are far beyond my looks and appealing to any notion of sexy. As unappealing as I want to be I still can’t get my husband to leave me alone 🙄

      • Tashkent says:

        Forgot to add it is so freeing to not be noticed or looked at or ogled! It is so wonderful, I would never ever want to be sexy again! I hated it then and am so glad it is over! I want to be respected and feared.

    • perplexed says:

      I don’t think I was ever ugly or unattractive in the true sense of the word, but I don’t think I ever viewed myself as sexy. I guess I think of being sexy and beautiful as being two district things. I always left the idea of being sexy to other people.

  13. Az says:

    I feel just as sexy at 52 as I did at 21!! I don’t use any Botox or enhancements of any kind. My hair is still very thick and it never turned grey. I have a gorgeous 30 year old boyfriend and a 50 year old boyfriend!! I have everything I ever wanted and couldn’t be happier!! I have lots of men that want to date me and happiness and sexiness comes from within. I’m heavier now (was a size 4) size 10 now, and still have the same amount of men interested. I don’t worry about aging too busy having the time of my life!!

    • Tashkent says:

      I’m glad you are happy and living the way you want! It sounds exhausting and I am 35 and would be thrilled if I never had to have sex ever again in my life! Lol enjoy though. No hating here.

  14. Katebush says:

    When I turned 45 last sept I decided to embrace my silver hair I’ve been dyeing for years.
    I have about 3 inches of silver now in my dark brown hair and it’s bought up all sorts of weird feelings I didn’t expect about ageing , beauty and and being attractive or socially acceptable.
    I have a 27 year old daughter and people always think we are sisters. Not any more though! It’s a bittersweet feeling but then at the same time Im not a 20 or even 30 year old anymore and no point trying to pretend I am. I want to be who I am and look forward to the next stage of my life as a sexy empowered naturally grey haired woman.

    I am counteracting society’s preconception of grey hair meaning that I’ve ‘let myself go’ by working out eating healthily and being in the best shape I’ve ever been in in my life.

    Being this age means that I am more confident in myself and care less about what others think but embracing ageing is still challenging nonetheless., couldn’t imagine having to do it on the public eye with everybody scrutinising your looks!

    • Gorgonia says:

      I did the same this year, after I turned 50. Thanks to my good hairstilyst, I give up my dyed blond hair, and I choose a silver gray shade that melts very well with my natural silver hair. For luck, in the last two year, the fashion is promoting silver hair, in every kind of shade, from white pearl to asphalt gray, combined with beautiful and daring haircut. Yes, you are right, there is preconception about grey hair for women, but I adore this trend and I feel as a young punk girl again.

  15. Gorgonia says:

    You know what? I think she is right about it, but at the same time I give a damn to be sexy all life long, ’cause I give a damn about what other people think of me. It’s my personal opinion, but I find so exhausting the need to be sexy forever, it’s so much more interesting to me to be creative, or curious, or adventurous, or whatsoever.