Keri Russell says being a mom makes her more vulnerable and weepy

I’m going to talk about this season of The Americans in this paragraph and there may be mild spoilers. I’ll try to stay vague but you may find this spoilery, so if you’re waiting to see this season’s finale (or this season in general) you may want to skip over this paragraph. Many people found this season too slow, just judging by the comments I saw on social media. I liked it a lot and found it just as interesting as every other season but I disliked the focus on Pastor Tim (why does anyone care about him? He’s awful) and annoying Paige and was hoping to see more of Martha in Russia and especially Burov. The season finale needed more Burov. I was really hoping Martha and Burov would at least meet, although I know that would be a stretch unless the Center arranged it. (Remember when they were both in the same grocery store? Why can’t she speak in his general vicinity and he hears her accent and helps her?) Also, can we please see more of that hot scientist in Kansas (Brett Tucker!) that Elizabeth was seeing?

If anything The Americans is unpredictable and cinematic and absolutely deserving of all the Emmys. So far it’s received only two, both for Margo Martindale for guest actress. So The Americans had an Emmy “for your consideration” party, I know because our friends at GoFugYourself covered it, and I agree with them that in no way should The Americans have to ask for Emmy consideration after its been consistently amazing for five seasons. At least it’s finally nominated in the outstanding drama category this year, and also for outstanding leads. Fingers crossed that the show is finally recognized.

Star Keri Russel was at a charity event, the Veuve Clicquot Polo Classic, where she talked about how she gets weepy doing charity work. She attributes that to being a mom but I’m not so sure about that. She has two sons from her first husband, son River, 10, and daughter Willa, 6, and she also has a one year-old baby son, Sam, with her current partner, costar Matthew Rhys. Here’s what she said about that, and she also talked about trying not to screw up your kids too much, which I related to.

Keri Russell is getting candid about how being a parent of three impacts her philanthropy.

“I just think you’re so much more vulnerable and kind of exposed emotionally, you can’t go to one of these events without sobbing,” The Americans star told PEOPLE Saturday during the 10th Annual Veuve Clicquot Polo Classic at Liberty State Park in New Jersey. “You’re just more vulnerable to it, which is good.”

The actress describes her hopes for her own children’s personalities with a laugh: “I’m just starting with, ‘Don’t be a jerk.’”…

Given that her children are different ages and sexes, Russell personalizes her child rearing. “I think it’s just different [based on] the kid. You never know,” the Felicity alum shares. “You get what you get, and they’re all so different and wild and weird and good in their own way.”

She describes her relaxed attitude to PEOPLE as, “You do the best you can every single day, and some days are bad days. I feel like people need to remember that more.”

“You get it right sometimes, and then you don’t get it right,” Russell adds before joking about the parenting skills of herself and Rhys, 42, “We’re probably failing disastrously.”

[From People]

I’ve heard that expression that being a parent is like wearing your heart outside your chest, although I think that’s only true for some people. I’m one of those people who cry easily and is emotional and empathic, but I have always been that way. I find that more of a general trait that people either have or don’t have. I don’t believe that you can suddenly become emotional once you have kids, although it may bring it out more, if that makes sense.

Oh and Keri also got a star on the Walk of Fame! This was last week and we didn’t cover it at the time, but she’s wearing a weird-fitting off the shoulder tiered striped blouse by Johanna Ortiz with gathered sleeves and I just find it bizarre. I know this is on trend but this blouse is just too fug for me, it looks like a craft project. (Her peplum skirt above at the Veuve Clicquot Polo Classic has a very similar vibe, right?) Good for her for getting a star though. Also I love her makeup.




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31 Responses to “Keri Russell says being a mom makes her more vulnerable and weepy”

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  1. Patricia says:

    I feel like I’ve become LESS vulnerable and overtly emotionally sincerely becoming a mother, almost like those things were a luxury of not having a child yet. This is how it affects me personally: I feel like I have to have emotional reserve, be more even-keeled and strong, because there is so much emotion involved now and I need to keep it calm and keep things in perspective.
    I feel like if I let myself be overly emotional it would just be too much, for myself and for everybody. Being a mother keeps me more centered. We are here, we are healthy, my child is smiling and happy, so I can stay calm and focused and in the moment. And when something upsetting or emotional happens I feel more inclined to be strong, put up a wall, be protective of our peace.
    That’s just me, not saying it’s right and her approach is wrong. It’s just interesting how it affects every woman so differently to become a mother.

    • Esmom says:

      I’m with you on that. I had to stay very calm last week when my son got a serious medical diagnosis because I didn’t want an emotional reaction from me to adversely affect how he processed it.

      On the flip side, I have a friend who was really kind hard and analytical and cynical, personality-wise, and I was shocked at how soft and maternal and emotional she became after having kids. It was a huge transformation. But as CB said, that trait was probably there all along and motherhood just brought it to the surface.

  2. BearcatLawyer says:

    I am heartily sick of people (and female celebs especially) implying or outright saying that non-parents do not or cannot have the same emotional range/experiences/depth/whatever as parents do.

    • Kitten says:

      This. Love Kerri and I get that she’s just sharing her personal experience but it still annoys the living hell out of me. Just tired of the “motherhood changed me” stories in general.

      Then again, I’m kind of a grump these days so maybe just ignore me.

    • jugil1 says:

      Yes! Those of us “childless” women simply cannot be as emotionally connected as women with children. Give me a break!

    • Dolkite says:

      I’m sick of people saying “being a mom is the most important job in the world!” as if the fact that they can procreate makes them an automatic “goddess” or “queen.”

      • CF98 says:

        It is the most important job in the world I don’t disagree with that.

        I’m childless BTW

        But I do agree it doesn’t make them better than other people either.

    • meh says:

      +1 So sick of it. Get over yourselves, people. Breeding doesn’t make anyone special and certainly doesn’t make you better than anyone else.

  3. detritus says:

    I’m a sensi too.
    I cry at commercials, jump at horror movie trailers, get super pumped when my friends win at life.
    The rest is fine, but it’s been hard learning how to cope with the tears though, people often think you are weak or manipulative. If it gets worse due to motherhood, I’m going to have to get better at the stealth cry.

    • Gina says:

      Detritus, I’m exactly the same :)
      Happy cry, sad cry, animal video cry, nostalgia cry, corny movie cry. All the cries.
      I was the same before I was a mom, and I’m the same after becoming a mom.
      You sound like a sensitive soul, and I don’t think it makes you ‘weaker’ or ‘manipulative’
      Some of us just feel / react to things differently…
      Don’t sweat the motherhood thing x x x

      • detritus says:

        Haha. Theres dozens of us, I’m sure.
        I’m good at hiding it for the most part, thankfully, so most of that criticism hasn’t been thrown my way, just in my general hearing.
        I don’t think its manipulative OR weak. Since I can get my shit done even if I’m a bit teary, but there are so many people who think its awful.

    • Esmom says:

      Hi Detritus, I used to cry at the drop of a hat, too. But now that I’m a mom it’s not that I’m less sensitive. In fact I’m probably way more so as I worry about about my kids’ futures and just love them with every ounce of my being. But I’ve somehow managed to become less outwardly emotional, I think maybe because I realized I had to keep it together and be “the grown up.” Not that crying is childish, but I guess I feel I need to be less of a mess so as not to scare them, lol. In any case, no matter how motherhood affects you, I am sure you’ll be great. Just go with the flow and enjoy whatever life brings.

      • Gina says:

        ^ ^ ^ this :-)

      • detritus says:

        I can see that it would make you “stronger’” because you have to hide certain feelings from your kids to be an effective parent.

        I really just wish anger wasn’t seen as a ‘strong’ emotion, and empathy seen as weak.

    • Carol says:

      I just find that I cry at different things so now it is a little more unexpected. I don’t mind people saying that a life-changing event in fact changed them. I never took it as one was better or worse.

      As far as being seen as manipulative, I find that if I suspect I will cry during a difficult discussion, I warn the person ahead of time that I might cry but want no special consideration because of it. That seems to work for both of us.

  4. littlemissnaughty says:

    No, YOU have become more vulnerable. There’s a difference. But I guess the rest of us childless people just can’t relate. We just DON’T KNOW! Whatever.

  5. Cheeky squirrel says:

    I don’t think she’s saying non-parents don’t have the same emotional depth. For some people, having a child amplifies your emotions. You become more aware of injustices when you now have something you love so much. Not everyone needs to experience parenthood for that effect. One person’s reason for vulnerability doesn’t negate someone else’s.

    • Mel M says:

      ^^^ Agreed

    • AmunetMaat says:

      This is how I interpreted her comments. No one is saying that you must have a child to experience her level of sensitivity and she is discussing her experiences and how it has shaped her and her world.

    • BearcatLawyer says:

      Then she ought to use the correct pronoun: “I” instead of “you.”

  6. Shelllley says:

    I LOVE that blouse!

  7. rahrahrooey says:

    Guess I’m never having kids then. Because i’m already an emotional wreck. I’ve always been hyper sensitive to issues and injustices and maybe even just a picture of a duckling.

  8. Barrett says:

    I had miscarriages but at least have a niece and nephew. My nephew makes me feel like my hearts outside my chest…..,he has bad allergies and asthma and goes in and out of hospital. It makes him more sensitive and sweet. it makes me want to love him and hug him like crazy! And protect him.
    If I feel like that geez his mom must be 10x worse

  9. Stacey Dresden says:

    I have found the same, MORE vulnerable and weepy. Especially when faced with suffering children or infants, the tears start rolling.

  10. Carrie says:

    I didn’t read this as her saying people without kids don’t feel deep emotions or whatever.

    Off prevailing topic a bit – it’s a relief to read Keri reference emotions as being ok because I loved her until a podcast where she said “Fuck Paige!” and made fun of her. I’m one of those naturally empathetic people and have never understood the annoyance most seem to have with the character Paige. What is that about???

    • buckley says:

      For me, the actress is weak. Also, her storyline sort of took over the show.
      She’s the reason I stopped watching.

    • AnneC says:

      What podcast?

      Only someone as super skinny as Keri wears a skirt that adds material to her stomach and butt :-)

    • AnneC says:

      What podcast?

      Only someone as super skinny as Keri wears a skirt that adds material to her stomach and butt :-)

      And I actually loved this season because it was more about character and less violence. I’m just getting less and less interested in watching people get hurt and murdered on TV. I’ve got the newspaper for that!

  11. bellebottomblues says:

    I dont read rhe comment, heart outside your chest, as anything to do with being more emotional or weepy. I always understood it to mean that once you have a child you are held hostage to fate, in a sense. Because you are vulnerable to what happens to your child and if its something bad, it’ll break your heart.

  12. ok says:

    Literally anyone can get a star on the WoF, lol.

  13. Newyorking says:

    Why is everything taken so personally on the internet? Just because someone expresses an opinion doesn’t mean it is mutually exclusive! Yes since I have become a mother my entire perspective has changed. I never wanted to be a mom or imagined feeling this way. But I have changed and grown the most since becoming a mom. I can’t think only about myself anymore without thinking about my kids. They demand and require endless patience and attention that I have developed. It has been more fulfilling than anything else in my life, and I am super career-oriented. And it is a thankless job with no discernible results but I have to do it unconditionally. I think about someone other than myself. I feel emotional when I see kids or hear about cruelty to kids, my favorite movie is Cars even though I have watched it maybe a 100 times. My life feels full. I did not expect all this before I had kids. And yes motherhood is an important job, one is responsible for another being. That doesn’t mean that people without kids are not fulfilled. It just means that they are missing out on this experience without knowing, just as I am probably missing out on the next 10-20 years of my personal life by having kids.