Tracee Ellis Ross covers the July/August issue of Redbook. They put her in a Breton (I just learned that term from The Fug Girls) white and blue striped top and a long light blue flowing skirt for the cover. I like how they chose fashion for her that’s somewhat conservative but still cute. So many editorials feature some kind of ill-advised theme but she just looks casual here and her personality comes through. I also loved that they put her on the cover with her natural hair, which just makes her look more radient. In her interview Ross talked about that, about embracing who she is and the fact that leaving her hair natural helps her be more flexible with it.

On people who try to dampen her joyful spirit: There are joy stealers everywhere! Honestly, a lot of people don’t do it on purpose. Joy makes them uncomfortable. So I do my best not to take it personally. I will literally imagine myself moving out of the way and letting their stuff just pass me by.

On her changing relationship with her looks: I’ve always had a somewhat contentious relationship with my body. I spent years trying to teach myself to smile in a way that made my top lip look smaller. A lot of that has to do with sexism and racism combined with the ever-changing tides of the culture of beauty. One minute, you’re supposed to be really skinny—the next minute, you’re supposed to have huge boobs. One minute you’re supposed to have no lips, the next they’re supposed to be full. No one can keep up! I finally got to a place where I was like, excuse my French, “F— that. That’s not fair.” So I got to then choose for myself what makes me feel empowered.

On loving her natural hair: For a long time, I was trying to beat my hair into submission so that it would do what I thought it was supposed to do to be sexy, so that it would be silky. But the more I supported my hair in its authentic texture, the more choices I had for it to do hundreds of different things. That was exciting to me. I’m really grateful to the whole natural-hair movement. It’s a genuine expression of how the culture of beauty is expanding to be less about perfection and concealment.

Her advice for those making a big beauty change: The biggest thing is to give yourself the freedom to have fun. Whether it’s about going natural with your hair or deciding that you want to put some Botox in your face, you have to do what’s best for you and not feel shame about that decision. Try whatever it is you want to try.

On embracing solo plans: I really enjoy going on vacation by myself. I literally get to follow my own pace. A lot of women have children, husbands, jobs, so there’s always someone they are accountable to. It’s really nice to do things on your own, because you become accountable just to your own heart’s desires.

[Redbook]

I didn’t realize that she wasn’t married and doesn’t have kids. (You may think I’m making assumptions but I googled it.) I can’t agree with her more about doing things on your own at your own pace. I enjoy setting my own schedule and while that often includes friends, I don’t rely on friends to do the things that I want to do, (like go to the movies, to dinner, or to a show or museum). Also, so many people don’t decide to do things until the last minute, are noncommittal or cancel right before you had plans. So I learn who is reliable and make plans with those people but I’m not dependent on them. It works out well and I’m actually happier. I’m Tracee’s same age, 44, and I’m at the point where I feel quite comfortable in my own skin and can make my own fun. I want her to be my BFF. We would agree on what to do and when!

photos credit: Brian Bowen Smith and Getty