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Kristen Bell was on Harry, Harry Connick Jr.’s talkshow, earlier this week. She’s getting headlines for her story about how much she used to fight with Dax Shepard, her husband, when they first started dating in 2007. I’m surprised that she kept this secret for so long, given how open she is about the fact that they’re in therapy. E! has the video of Kristen’s interview (that’s also below) and she tells this like she’s proud of it, but maybe that’s just due to the fact that she’s rehearsed it so much. I have very little shade for that, it’s got to be hard to go on talkshows and you need to prepare, but maybe she shouldn’t sound so gleeful about fighting and slamming doors. Also her face looks different right? She got some botox or fillers or something, that’s not just makeup. Anyway here’s her story about their fights, and it was disturbing to me.
“When we first met, we fell madly in love and I love the dramatic exit. There is nothing I crave more. The first year you are working out your kinks. I loved it. We’d get in a fight because we would fight a lot and I’d like yell something then slam the bedroom door, then I’d slam the front door, then I’d get in my car and then I’d skid out the driveway and I would sit around the corner in my car and it felt so good and I realized how incredibly toxic it was only after he pointed it out.”
“Three months into our relationship he was like, ‘You can’t leave anymore during fights. I’m not going to do that.’ I was like, ‘What?’ He’s like you can’t do that, I’m not going to have a relationship, he has a very high standard and a strong code of ethics. He was like, ‘No, I have more respect for myself, I love you but I’m not going to do that my whole life.'”
“Here’s how evolved he is. “He said, ‘Let’s just help you. You are not a good fighter.’ And I always thought I was because I won.
“He’s like, ‘No, people can’t do that. Our marriage won’t survive.’ And everything he was saying was making so much sense and I was like damn this guy.”
Kristen then told a story about how Dax got a tattoo of a bell on his finger with her initial, their oldest child, daughter Lincoln’s initial, and a D, presumably for his name. Then when they had their second baby they named her Delta for that reason. Getting back to the topic, I don’t understand how two people can have storming out of the house, slamming door fights in the first three months of dating and still be together ten years later. During the first few months if you’re madly in love as Kristen claims you’re having sex twice a day and staring into each other’s eyes like you can’t believe the other person exists. Maybe you have a minor disagreement but a huge fight early on is a red flag, right? I doubt I would stick around if someone did that to me. It sounds like these two worked it out, that Kristen changed and that they now have more conflict-solving skills and resulting intimacy as she sort-of explains, but this must have been exhausting. Many things about these two are tiring.
Speaking of that, Dax has a new ad campaign with Chrysler and some Sesame Street characters so he’s talking about driving. He told US that he does “100% of the driving” with Kristen but explained that he used to race and drive professionally so Kristen is ok with that, even when he drives fast. He also told People that he loves road trips and that he wants Kristen to do all the work so he can hang out with their kids at home. “I have these two fun kids to party with all the time. And I often ask myself, ‘Why don’t I just do that?’ Let that little show pony of mine stay out there and earn the money and I’ll just hang at the house.” He calls it partying when he’s hanging out with a four and a two year old, which means he must not be doing the work. Also, he refers to Kristen as a “little show pony.” No comment.
Here’s the video of Kristen’s interview:
I knew someone like this actually. She thought having BIG fights was healthy because PASSION. The guy was so even keeled and told her to knock it off. How they survived I do not know but almost 5 years later they are making it work
I kinda thought she was saying the first few months of *marriage*, not of dating. But maybe it’s just too early and I need more coffee. They’re exhausting either way.
Sometimes fighting can be cathartic, but it doesn’t feel good and especially this early in the relationship.
I do however think that sometimes a bit of yelling never hurt no one.
I think it can be a red flag if the other person holds on to those immature behaviours and refuses to develop insight into why they do it. It sounds like he was really good for her and his maturity made her come round and learn how silly it is. I think those fights can feel satisfying, especially when you have a kind partner who responds the way you want them to when you storm out in a fit. But he’s right, and those sorts of power trips ultimately kill a relationship. I think it’s cool she’s so open about it and they’ve obviously worked things out. I think you can grow so much emotionally if you’re open to it and you happen to find a kind, mature partner who has their emotional sh*t together a bit better than you.
Well said. My sister was like this with one of her boyfriends — she learned it from our mom — and it ruined them. Too bad, because I loved him. But fortunately she learned from that and her marriage is much more solid in comparison.
Dax sounds like he handled her outbursts in the best way possible and kudos to her for being willing to change.
She has literally nothing else to talk about than her marriage? It is so exhausting to see this many interviews about her and Dax. I promise you Kristen, you guys are not that interesting. Go away.
ikr?? also she really overshares. i have a friend like that, and sometimes when she tells me this stuff in all these details i just look at her and think ‘i really didn’t need to know this’ lol
I had a friend like that too but I eventually let that friendship go. So overly dramatic and the oversharing-exhausting.
It works, because they work through it and both grew as people. I know they get on some peoples nerves here, but I respect that they have been open about the realities and difficulties, therapy, etc.
With many other people I’d be grossed out by the show pony comment, but they are both very jokey about each other and I don’t think there was a hint of seriousness to that.
It just shouldn’t be this hard. It shouldn’t! Yes everybody will jump on me. Listen, I know relationships require work. But what she describes all the time … it shouldn’t be that hard! That’s a red flag. Exhausting.
same. there’s this thing about relationships being hard work and all that, and yes it’s true that they do require dedication, like everything. but if it’s THAT hard you’re probably with the wrong person, not necessarily because there’s something wrong with them or with you, you’re just with someone who isn’t a good fit.
so many people stay in relationships that are bad for them because they bought into the whole all relationships are difficult thing, but there’s having to work at it, and there’s being absolutely exhausting at all times.
Yeah. Slamming doors, yelling, theatrics, he was right to call her out. It’s emotionally manipulative. Glad she smartened up.
Shut all the way the truck up you yapping energy vampire chihuahua woman. Oh my god.
Her eyes have always tweaked me out a bit. I don’t know what the hell is it about them – perhaps that they are so close together? Something about them just always seems off to me and I’ve never quite nailed down what it is. And she recently had some video or photos up where she had zero makeup on and it was even more ‘noticeable’ …. though I still couldn’t actually say what it is.
As a fellow member of the ‘difficult relationships/marriages’ club – I hope she and Dax stay together. Yeah, lots of people say stuff like ‘it shouldn’t be that difficult’… but some people are just more complicated (fucked up?) than others. And they can judge after they’ve been married a few decades.
I find her look distant and a bit vacant, but it could be just tge way she photographs (if that can be used as a word). Haven’t had my coffee ☕️ yet.
That was a joke about the show pony. I don’t think we should take that seriously. Or the part about partying with the kids
I totally agree, big deal.
In that interview, neither Kristen’s nor Harry’s face moves appropriately for the level of expression in their speech. So weird to watch.
The turning point of my life was realizing that drama does not equal love/passion. Good for her for figuring it out.
For people who claims to want privacy in their family life, they talk way too much about their marriage and kids.
That is what kills me!
Personally, I don’t care in the sense that I will make fun of you if it looks desperate OR if you are being super hypocritical, in my view. But I also think that us normal people will never fully understand what someone who gains even some level of fame, let alone being world famous, etc will have to deal with–so I kinda cut people a little slack, and they all react to it differently. Plus I am a massive blabbermouth and I like to relate things in a more personal manner, not being generic………so I know the first thing out of my mouth would be…..”well me and my (insert mom/boyfriend/dad/sister)…….”……….
But COME ON. They made it a *thing* that they wanted privacy for their kids. Good. No issues with it. But their actual branding of their careers is their relationship. No, they don’t show their kids……….but they show videos of Kristen freaking out over a sloth and crying hysterically because she is pregnant, they appear in numerous commercials that are basically about them and their family life/kids (like that washer/dryer one that is them cleaning their daughter’s clothes), and all of their interviews are about their relationship. Again, no problem with it. But that contributes to more and more interest about your family i.e. you, your spouse, and your kids. So don’t pretend that it doesn’t, and just own it.
I thought she meant the first few months living together, not just having started dating
When I was 21, my boyfriend had a college friend who was older than us, like 29. He was an Army vet who was back in college, getting his degree. He had a girlfriend who was dramatic and fought a lot. She used to tell him it was normal, that her family was Italian and expressive, and it’s how she grew up. He was laid back but not a pushover. After a couple of years, it exhausted him, and they broke up. She just couldn’t change, at least not at that age. She was just 24 or 25.
Can she go away?
Actually I call it “partying” whenever I hang out with my husband and kids. It just means I’m incredibly happy.
I don’t know anything about her upbringing, but I was a lot like her for a long time. I grew up with a lot of toxic behaviors displayed, and that was my baseline for “normal,” and thus what I emulated in my adult relationships.
Of course, most of them blew up, until I encountered someone who was raised with far better emotional tools than I was, and was able to help me see that what I thought was “normal” was far from it. After I got counseling and learned better communication skills, things changed dramatically, and we’ve been very happily married for 5 years now.
I appreciate her honesty. My first year of marriage was difficult, moving in together, man the fights were epic. It was a really tough year for both of us, a lot of compromise and lessons learned. Smoother sailing since and it’s refreshing to have a celebrity be so honest.
I was never one for big dramatic fights but i was always the “right-fighter”. I was right & there was never any convincing me otherwise & if you cant get that YOURE the one w the problem not me so….lets work on you. Yeah, that kind of thinking & reacting never sustained a meaningful anything for too long
Kristen is emotional and dramatic, she has talked about it in many interviews- so i completely believe she did this. But good for her finding a man who calls her on it and makes her adjust herself a bit. And good for him that he can express his needs properly.