Amber Heard: ‘I don’t want to be the princess. I want to be the prince’

heard allure

It occurred to me as I read Amber Heard’s Allure cover story that she hasn’t really sat down for an in-depth magazine profile since her divorce from Johnny Depp. While married to Depp, Amber got a lot of magazine covers, but she’s been squirrelly with magazines in the past few years. And who can blame her? She’s been through a lot and she didn’t have anything to promote. Currently, she’s promoting her role in Justice League, where she plays Mera, Aquaman’s wife. Amber’s built up a lot of stuff to talk about in the past two years, so let’s get to it – you can read the full Allure piece here. Some highlights:

Whether she wants to use her fame to do good works: “I don’t have to; I have to. If I didn’t have a platform, I would stand on my toes… I have a semifunctioning brain and a semifunctioning limbic system, and as a human being, it is incumbent on me to make the world a better place in any small, insignificant way I can. I’ve always tried to do the right thing. I used everything I was given. I had to make it better for the next person.”

She didn’t just start supporting the ACLU because of her divorce: “I have supported the ACLU since I was 16. When I was growing up, my friends had ’N Sync posters, and I collected feminist propaganda from World War II. Our mothers and grandmothers worked to make an environment that was deceptively comfortable. I took it for granted. By comparison to other places or previous generations, we’re doing great. Yeah, sure, there have been some sexist things here… I was so wrong. I was so f–king wrong.”

American misogyny, personally and writ large: “Before the Grabber in Chief, before the reeling back that we collectively had as women, I had already had my own reeling back. I had already realized the roots of misogyny reach far deeper and are far more ubiquitous. I didn’t realize that until about a year and a half ago. I had been living with my head in the sand because I was comparing it to other places or to the past. I did not realize how far we have to go to be equal. [And by equal] I mean fair.”

Whether she identifies as bisexual now: “I don’t identify as anything. I’m a person. I like who I like. I happened to be dating a woman, and people started taking pictures of us walking to our car after dinner. I [was] holding her hand, and I realized that I have two options: I can let go of her hand and, when asked about it, I can say that my private life is my private life. Or I could not let go and own it.”

No one wanted her to come out as bisexual: “Everyone told me: ‘You cannot do this.’ I had played opposite Nicolas Cage [in one movie], and in another I was playing opposite Johnny. And everyone said, ‘You’re throwing it all away. You can’t do this to your career.’ And I said, ‘I cannot do this any other way. Watch me.’ They pointed to no other working romantic lead, no other actress, that was out. I didn’t come out. I was never in. It’s limiting, that LGBTQ thing. It served a function as an umbrella for marginalized people to whom rights were being denied, but it loses its efficacy because of the nuanced nature of humanity. As we become more educated and expand the facts of our nature, we keep adding letters. It was a great shield, but now we’re stuck behind it. It’s so important to resist labels. I don’t care how many letters you add. At some point, it’s going to spell ‘WE ARE HUMAN.’  Equality shouldn’t be up for debate. Are you for equal treatment of persons?”

On beauty & intelligence: “I was wired from an early age: I don’t want to be the princess. I want to be the prince. I want to do the fun stuff. I would rather be brave or smart than pretty. They’re not mutually exclusive, my face and my brain. We have this medulla approach to humanity. We separate the soul from the body….[As a kid,] seeing princesses in my books called beautiful was frustrating. I found the same frustration in Hollywood. I read 5 to 10 scripts a week, and 4 out of 5 have nothing else to say about the female lead. Always the same adjectives: beautiful or sexy or some version of it. I started saying to my agents, ‘Don’t send me scripts where the first adjective in the female description is “beautiful.” And if the second is “enigmatic,” throw it in the trash.’ The word ‘enigmatic’ means ‘Her backstory doesn’t matter.’ I fell for that so many times.”

[From Allure]

If I’m being honest, I used to think that when Amber talked about her bisexuality and the LGBTQ+ community, she sounded sort of… obvious, you know? Like, she wasn’t providing anyone with any new information, and it sometimes came across as very look-at-me. But after everything that went down with her marriage to Johnny Depp and everything that’s happening in our country, I give her more respect. She genuinely raised awareness – through personal suffering and her own bravery in coming forward – about the increased dangers bisexual women face in intimate relationships. She really did take a chance with her career when she came out.

Film Premiere of Justice League

Photos courtesy of WENN, Allure.

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245 Responses to “Amber Heard: ‘I don’t want to be the princess. I want to be the prince’”

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  1. WMGDtoo says:

    Nothing is original..
    “I don’t want to be the princess”, “I want to be the prince”.. this is a variation of what Jolie said about being Bond.

    I think Amber is very pretty. Still not sure of her as an actress.

  2. JosieH says:

    So, so pompous. Ugh, actors.

  3. Clare says:

    My view on her has changes post-Depp, as well (in that I think far more of her and her work/efforts), but the whole ‘while y’all were following boybands I was collecting feminist posters’ shtick reeks of intellectual masturbation to me.

    • Shirurusu says:

      I really like her too. And I get what she’s saying about beauty. I’m interning in an all male environment at the moment and had an early work review with my boss today to see how I’m getting on. The adjectives he used about me were “cute” and a “nice girl”. He was like the door is always open for you here if you want to be hired because you’re a cute nice girl. I almost blew up in his face, mostly because I’ve been working my freaking ass off at this job and apparently he doesn’t care or hasn’t been paying attention. It found it absolutely humiliating to be judged on something like that and basically overlooked for competence. That’s not saying I’m the best worker there or anything. But it was horrid and I think I get Ambers point at wanting to do the cool things in life rather than be the cute wallflower.

      EIther way I’m so happy I’ve only got a month left at this god awful work place before I get to switch. Toxic testosterone levels.

  4. Mammabear says:

    Thought she was an empty vessel at first, but she’s slowly changing my mind. Just a bit.

  5. Jezi says:

    Here’s the thing. Obviously misogyny does exist in Hollywood but there are plenty strong female centric roles nowadays. This isn’t the 1950s and you see women taking on very powerful roles in these films. And sorry Amber but have you watched a cartoon at all? Most princesses in these stories are strong and the heroines of their stories. It’s been a very long time since princesses were sitting waiting for Prince Charming to rescue them. They are in control. She’s just annoying! She ain’t a leader in the LGBT community either and let me just say, yes LGBT still have a long way to go with equality, again it’s soooo much better than how it used to be. She’s so out of touch or she wants us all to think she’s more important than she truly is.

    • ell says:

      ‘Obviously misogyny does exist in Hollywood but there are plenty strong female centric roles nowadays.’

      maybe on tv. in films, it’s mostly stories about dudes for dudes and the female actors who get to work on those roles are the usual few. the rest of them play the pretty girlfriends.

    • Meggles says:

      Not that many, it’s just that they are so unusual they get a disproportionate amount of attention which makes it seem like there are loads. And those roles go to a minority of actresses. I guarantee someone like Amber is being sent dozens of scripts for characters with zero intelligence or characterisation whose only function is to look hot and take her clothes off. Really, you might not see the final product but you’d be amazed at how many terrible scripts are floating around.

    • tealily says:

      On your first point, I’m sure it’s much harder to get your hands on those meaty scripts as a young, beautiful up-and-comer.

      And on your second, that’s true now, but not when we were kids. Not in the era Heard is talking about.

    • Tiffany :) says:

      “but there are plenty strong female centric roles nowadays.”

      There are SOME, but when you look at percentages, it is still incredibly imbalanced. Don’t look for the outlier, look at the big picture.

      In 2016, females comprised 29% of protagonists. This represents an increase of 7 percentage points from 2015 and a recent historical high. Females accounted for 37% of major characters, an increase of 3 percentage points from 2015, and also a recent historical high. However, the percentage of female characters in speaking roles (major and minor) was 32%, down 1 percentage point from 2015.”

  6. Prim says:

    If you want to be the Prince not the Princess you’ve still got a bit of work to do on that internalized misogyny.

  7. Thebees says:

    I enjoyed reading this more than I assumed I would!

  8. Donna says:

    What? No mention of her self-proclaimed superior intelligence? No copy of Ayn Rand nearby, to drive home how deep she is?

    • Amide says:

      Exactly. 👏😉 Her past interviews are equally self important & obnoxious. Just insufferable. And why is she getting a cover, she’s in JL for like 10 mins? But since she has nothing else going on career wise she’s shilling hard!!

    • anna says:

      you’re right. she reads books AND wants to talk about it, what a pretentious b! what is going on here, with all these anti-intellectual comments? let her do her thing. she’s a smart girl and why should she hide that.

      • PPP says:

        People here are so quick to judge. Didn’t we all go through phases like this at one point? She’s doing her best and has the right commitments. She’ll get there. The negativity in the comments section proves how easy it is for us to backslide into creating the kind of atmosphere where it’s real easy to tear an actress down if she doesn’t behave. I really think we should be taking a good hard look at how we talk about actresses and women in general in the wake of Weinstein.

      • six says:

        Yes, she reads books, many people do. The difference is, Heard always feels the need to broadcast it in a way that feels exaggerated and just very… extra. The Allure journalist writes: ‘I ask what she’s reading. You want to know what she’s reading? Currently, Cleopatra: A Life. Yesterday, she read a biography of Catherine the Great. The day before she read a history of the Romanovs…Who cares about the history of the czars because this woman reads a dense, historical nonfiction tome a day…’

      • Bella Dupont says:


        Some people ALWAYS find it a little bit more difficult to like women…..there’s always SOME reason to criticize, no matter how innocuous her remarks


        At least she’s promoting/celebrating her intellect…..hopefully, this encourages other women to aspire to do the same……would you rather she bragged about how many facials / cosmetic treatments she got a day?

      • Nicole says:

        I have an issue with the put downs of other women to do so. Also smart women never have to say “I’m smart” people will get that just talking to them.
        And guess what smart girls can read books AND like BSB! I was one of them. I had time to read high school novels at 10 and could squeal over tigerbeat with my classmates. My parents never told me that to be a smart girl I couldn’t also be…a girl. A kid. If you need to putdown women’s interests as frivolous you have more internalized misogyny than you realize.
        When are women going to remember that we CAN be ALL and multifaceted?! Men get to be smart and geek out over comic books. Women can too.

      • Otaku Fairy says:

        ‘Also smart women never have to say “I’m smart.” People will get that….”
        Not so sure about this because women are often stereotyped as emptyheaded wh*res. As a result of that, women are sometimes put in the position of having to emphasize that part of themselves. I agree with the rest of what you said though.

      • Wren says:

        As a young girl, I could have done with more female celebrities glorifying reading and basically saying it’s okay to have interests that are outside of what’s marketed to you. I felt very left out of pop culture as a child and my interests were very far away from those of my peers. It was isolating, and even though nowadays it’s cool to be different, as a kid it very much was not.

      • Nicole says:

        I don’t know…where I grew up I was never “uncool” being the girl with 3 books on her at all times (not an exaggeration either). Most days I was reading something and I was okay with that because of my parents. Or maybe the kids around me were just cool about it. I’m okay with celebs saying reading is cool (see Karlie and Emma) I just don’t like when women do so by also putting down other women. We can be both but its not a negative to be either or.

      • Wren says:

        I’m glad you were so well supported by your peers. I was not. Reading was only really okay while at school, and reading for fun was something weird kids (me) did. I was mocked and ridiculed for essentially having the same interests as Amber and it would have been really nice for a famous woman to publicly espouse such things. There’s more than enough people and societal norms glorifying the “right” way for a woman to be. When nobody was here for us, the girls who would rather read history books than gush over teen heartthrobs, that was fine. We were weird ans deserved to be labeled. But now someone is saying “heck yeah books are cool check out my stash, yeah I wasn’t really into boy bands” it’s suddenly not fine. It’s only cool when you also have mainstream interests. So I’m here for her comments and I’m not sorry.

      • Nicole says:

        That sucks and I’m sorry you weren’t supported. Like I said I’m okay with any celeb supporting learning and stem. I’m just not okay with her doing the reverse and acting like girls who like boy bands are somewhat less than she is. That’s equally demeaning as shaming someone for liking books.

      • tealily says:

        Read through some of the comments on this page and you’ll understand why she feels the need to project this “intellectual” image. She’s trying to counteract the “bland pretty girl,” “I thought she was an empty vessel” image. Maybe she’s doing it a little clumsily, but sheesh! I see where she’s coming from and I think she should be cut a little slack.

      • Olive says:

        @anna exactly. I feel like in this culture, women just can’t win. we’re either vacant morons like the Kardashians, or pretentious intellectual like Amber. So we make jokes about the Kardashians being unable to read, but when we get a female celebrity makes it clear she does read and wants to talk about it, she gets slammed for trying too hard.

      • Wren says:

        I’m unclear as to how she was being down on other women. She merely stated that while her friends did X, she did Y. Statement of fact. She didn’t say her friends did X and were stupid for it or that she was better than them. Just different. Why is she not allowed to say that her interests lay elsewhere from the mainstream? Is it because “we” have all collectively judged that said interests are only for show and nobody, especially a beautiful woman, can actually for real be into that kind of stuff? Clearly she’s only saying such things to show off! Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Might as well enjoy what you enjoy.

      • Kitten says:

        “Read through some of the comments on this page and you’ll understand why she feels the need to project this ‘intellectual’ image. She’s trying to counteract the ‘bland pretty girl,’ ‘I thought she was an empty vessel’ image.”

        This completely. I think Tealily and Tiffany (up-thread) nailed it.

        I think this is something that a lot of beautiful women struggle with (yes I know that nobody wants to hear about the *struggle of the beautiful* but bear with me) in that they feel boxed-in and limited by their appearance and all the fair and unfair assumptions that come along with it. Again, I know this is a groan-worthy topic but many of us seem to forget that there’s a personality beneath that beauty, one that may actually contradict the exterior.

  9. detritus says:

    I like her, And i don’t mind her confidence in her intellectual abilities. She’s less pretentious than Franco imo, and her being out as bi is truly a big deal.

    The wording around the princess stuff needs work, it verges into cool girl I’m like a boy and better than a girl stuff. I’m assuming she’s complaining about princesses being decorative, and truly, for the most part in my generation they were like that. I never wanted to be a princess for slightly different reason, it was always like wanting to be second in charge, so maybe I over identify with this statement,

    • tealily says:

      “It was always like wanting to be second in charge” — Exactly!

    • SilverUnicorn says:

      I always wanted to be the warrior.

      Prince and princesses, pfft!! Born into privilege and extremely whiney (at least in the movies of the time I was a child, many moons ago!).
      She’s growing on me. Still a terrible actress in my opinion, but she’s coming across better than a few years ago.

    • magnoliarose says:

      Why is the term humblebrag only used when it comes to women? I have tried to find it when it comes to men and I can’t. The only reason women do this is because we are slammed anytime we feel good about a quality and talk about it. So a woman tries to say it in a way that won’t bring heat or accusations of being arrogant or full of herself. Women are also asked very different questions in interviews than men and have to work around that to get their message across.

      I have come to like Amber, and I understand her desire to be seen as more than a beautiful actress. Her looks become a “thing” so she has to work to be seen as substantive or smart or quirky.
      There is a reason romance novels always make the heroine plain with a great personality and the beautiful women evil bitches or vapid ninnies. The unbelievably perfect hero falls for the ordinary girl playing on the insecurities of women and the tendency to resent beauty.

      A good example is a story about the thin model and her size 16 best friend who is also a model. The slim model was accused of photoshopping her best friend to look heavier so she could look better. It was far from the truth. She loves her best friend and wanted to share photos of them together as a celebration of different types of beauty.

      • Wren says:

        You forget, women are only supposed to take credit for things that have been bestowed upon them by others. You can’t say you’re pretty, smart, or funny, you have to wait for other people to declare you so. Otherwise you’re pretentious, rude, vain, or whatever negative term people dredge up to put you back in your place.

      • detritus says:

        Mag, I think you’ve hit on why the Mary Sues of Twilight and the Shade of Grey series are so popular. They are placeholder women with nothing exceptional except their ‘specialness’ that takes a great man to see and unlock.

      • Ladidah says:

        I know this is wayyy off topic but Harris Wittles invented the term humble brag and then used it on the insta of King James when Lebron wrote “had no idea I was up for this award” (basketball player of the year lol)

        Trust me, humblebrag gets applied to men. We would use it wih Trump if he actually had any endearing qualities as a leader or person.

      • PPP says:

        @magnoliarose I just want to say I so appreciate your comments on this thread. Thank you for sharing your insight.

  10. Amide says:

    What kind of self aggrandizing BS!
    Newsflash Amber….before you there wad Angelina Jolie, Anne Heche, Jodie Foster who took sling blades for their fluidity and bisexuality.
    In fact Megan Fox was ridiculed because she was seen a using the sexuality card as a firm of cosplaying Angelina Jolie career, than anything honest.
    And before them, there was Katherine Hepburn, Marlene Dietrich, Greta Garbo, you didn’t break any new ground Ms Heard.
    If you’re not getting scripts, it’s cause you’re a poor actress with a veritable number of flops & straight-to-DVD dreck clogging up your imdb page!
    And as for the rest of her “I’m too beautiful to get decent scripts” cri de coeur😤😫😶😂

    • six says:

      @Amide I agree. She has a strong tendency to self-mythologize. And I found the way the journalist is fawning over her in this interview nauseating. Yes she was brave in standing up to Depp, but during all of that time Elon Musk, an even more powerful man, had her back. Not the case for many wonen who are dealing with abuse

      • Amide says:

        Firstly most other actresses who made that claim about script usually had the talent, or box office clout to carp about the scripts they got. Amber has neither and her still getting scripts in spite if thus onlyinfirms if her privilege.
        If she was nit implying breaking new ground when talking about coming out as an actress, then what is the whole convo of ‘It never been done before’ about???
        Your rabid defending of Amber up an down this is page, by cloaking, all criticism of her banalties to be deflected due to the Weinstein scandal is what seem nuts to me😶

      • PPP says:

        @Amide: I want to make a distinction between commenters who are respectfully disagreeing with what she has to say (you’ll notice I don’t respond to any of them), and commenters like you who take it to an extremely personal, aggressive, and hostile level. You’re dismissing her as a whole, as a person, and you’re damn right that kind of devaluation has a lot to do with why Weinstein-ing actresses succeeded.

        My target isn’t Amber Heard. Consider her a quantifier over all of the actresses commenters like you are willing to drag the second they show an ounce of personality. It’s not your (or anyone’s) particular dislike of Amber that I find infuriating. It’s the level of hostility for a “wrong” that is totally undefinable. It’s something I see directed towards a lot of actresses and women in general. The bulk of extremely negative comments for a woman talking about her personal experience with feminism, her experience of what are objectively sexist aspects of the scripts she receives, and her explanation of why she came out as bisexual, is just incredible to me. It indicates that women have to walk an incredibly narrow line to please you and the other commenters.

      • Amide says:

        My reply was too long, so I’ll just say that I agree with other posters on your hypocrisy and using Weinstein, or some large sociological context to stamp out crtiticism of Heard whom you Stan for.
        Your interpretation of her interview differs from mine and that’s what it is. Throwing out buzzwords like judgemental, or weirdly Weinstein to attempt to shame anyone critical of Heard simply says more about you, than anything else could.

      • Otaku Fairy says:

        “It’s the level of hostility for a ‘wrong’ that is totally undefinable. It’s something I see directed towards a lot of actresses and women in general.” Excellent post, PPP. I’ve noticed similar patterns (although more extreme and long-lasting) with Angelina Jolie, Beyoncé, and quite a few others I could list. (Obviously Angelina and Beyoncé have a level of fame and talent that Amber doesn’t, and there’s Angelina’s humanitarian work. I’m not saying Amber is on the same level as those women. There’s just similar hostility).
        Also, I’m bisexual too and to me it doesn’t come off like she’s trying to pretend she’s the first actress to ever come out. 99% of the time it just seems like there’s going to be a negative response whenever a famous woman brings up that experience in any way. She probably isn’t a talented actress… enough people say it, so it’s probably true. I haven’t seen anything she’s in yet.

      • PPP says:

        @ Amide: you’ll notice I don’t engage with commenters who are identifying a thread of internal misogyny and who have a problem with her deriding so-called frivolous interests. It’s once you get into try-hard pompous intellectual, as well as putting words she did not say in her mouth that I have a problem. And continue to do so.

      • Bella Dupont says:


        I’m no fan of Amber’s and I think you comments are very, very judgmental…..she hasn’t said anything offensive enough to warrant the harshness of your comments.

        It kind of depresses me that in this day and age, women are still so quick to tear down other women over the most trivial, pointless sh*t. Men are far more forgiving (and supportive) amongst themselves and its one of the reasons why we will be fighting for equality (still) for many more years to come.

    • PPP says:

      What exactly has she done wrong? She’s not lying that coming out as bi being a risk, and she nowhere denied the work done by other women to make things better for her– quite the opposite, in fact! She also nowhere whines about not getting parts. This and other comments are so incredibly hostile when she’s done nothing but say well-intentioned stuff that doesn’t sound all the way thought through– and so what? The Weinsteins that rely on whisper campaigns to punish actresses who don’t behave depend on people like you, ready to be angry at an attractive woman for no good reason at all.

      • detritus says:

        it seems you can be hot and smart, but you’d better not be conscious or proud of it.

        The weird thing is that she’s not even proclaiming that shes too beautiful or smarter. This interview she talked about being Bi, promoting good works and using her platform for good, the current sexist climate, and how princesses are often relegated to pretty set pieces.

        She had the temerity to use too many syllables to do so though, and these comments are proving her right about the beauty/intelligence dichotomy.

        My one quibble would be that she has leftover cool girl syndrome. I think that’s whats pressing everyone’s buttons, shes not like ‘other’ girls. She’s ‘deep’. which is exactly how I feel about Margot Robbie’s schtick.

      • Amide says:

        Who mentioned Weinstein aywhere? What we can’t judge Amber for her words, talents, deeds without alluding it to a man?
        And it’s clear what she’s inferring about ‘quality of scripts’. It’s not the first time she’s spieled that bs that line.
        The varied comments in this post are spot on and and Amber fans relying on the ‘you’re just hating on an attractive woman’ tag only reinforces it.👀

      • PPP says:

        @Amide – first of all, every actress decries the quality of the script on exactly the grounds Amber does. She’s not implying she’s getting poorer than usual scripts than anyone else because she’s beautiful, just that the scripts she sees have some problematic elements on them. Second of all, I don’t care if you think she’s not a great actress, or if you disagree with some of her sentiments, but you’re positioning it as if she is comparing herself to all of the women you mention– she’s not. You’re acting as if she’s trying to lead the LGBTQ parade– she’s not. Your judgement-to-warrant ratio is just kind of nuts and your readiness to judge a woman for basically nothing is what drives how easy it is to slander an actress when she doesn’t behave.

      • Wren says:

        Yup. So she doesn’t put every single point as eloquently as possible, so what? This is basic “you’re allowed to have all these wonderful traits but don’t you dare acknowledge them”. Fits right into the male fantasy of showing a girl how pretty/wonderful she is because of course she had NO IDEA before the guy came along and opened up her world. Women are only allowed to own and enjoy what men give them. Why we as women feel the need to perpetuate that crap is beyond me.

      • Otaku Fairy says:

        PPP, detritus, & Wren: + 1000. I wish we focused more on why and how women and girls are put in the position to feel like they have to prove to society that they aren’t ‘trashy bimbos’ or other damaging stereotypes- and how that idea gets exploited by those with abusive or bigoted agendas- instead of mocking or lashing out at women for trying to prove that gender, looks, and sexual agency don’t erase intellect, talent, political beliefs, respectability, or other positive things about them as individuals.

    • Meggles says:

      So if one GLBT person comes out, no one else is allowed to because it’s copying? And if one person comes out and has a successful career, that means homophobia is over and no one can later claim pressure to stay closeted?


      • MoochieLady says:

        Maybe she seems so eager to talk about these things because if she doesn’t people will just say, “she’s a basic blonde with no brain” and when she does she’s a “basic blonde pretending to have a brain”
        I see so much casual sexism and shaming here’s crazy.
        I’ve noticed that women will always get harsher criticism for any flaws than a man. From women just as much as men too.
        See; Kate Middleton, A. Jolie & Beyonce. It has to stop, we are better than this. Stop pitting women up against each other, stop hiding shaming and sexism under “criticism” and “it’s a gossip site” why is it only a “gossip site” when people want to spew negativity and hypocrisy? Any other time we discuss, racism, sexism, homophobia, shaming.

      • Otaku Fairy says:

        “So if one GLBT person comes out, no one else is allowed to because it’s copying?”
        Ugh. I hate, hate, HATE that mentality. Straight stars don’t get accused of jumping on some bandwagon by talking about their lives with their opposite-sex partners.

      • Tiffany :) says:

        Meggles, I agree.
        She is telling her experience as she lived it. It seems people are suggesting that she was never advised to stay in the closet because a small handful of other stars came out as bisexual previously. I just don’t understand why people don’t believe her experiences, because we all know people are STILL being advised to stay in the closet to protect their careers.

        Unfortunately, while great strides have been made, there is still risk in coming out in Hollywood as an actor/actress. Selling the idea of sexual availability is a big factor in casting/marketing/promotion.

  11. Renee2 says:

    Um, I think that her statement is a bit problematic. The reason that letters keep getting added are because different types of queer sexualities are being recognized. Perhaps I am missing something but her comments reek if the “I don’t see color, we’re all the same!!” mentality. Yes, we are all human but we are not all treated the same and it is both naive and foolish to pretend that those differences don’t exist. Declaring tat they don’t doesn’t make it so.

    • ell says:

      agreed. i find her whole statement about lgbt+ problematic. even the ‘i don’t identify as anything’ is problematic, as a bisexual i would like other bisexuals to take a stand if they’re out. the whole i don’t want labels thing really doesn’t help.

      • SilverUnicorn says:

        I think her statement is more problematic because she seems confused (first she makes a statement about being bisexual and out, then she retracts it saying she doesn’t identify with anything) and then she goes to simplify everything with ‘we are all human’. In a world where people are constantly labelled for data purposes, her statement sounds silly. If she doesn’t want a label fine, don’t brag about being out for… nothing though, basically lol

      • detritus says:

        its not the best, but she’s not the greatest at nuance.
        I wonder if she feels guilty because all of her recent relationships are het.
        Its hard being in a het relationship and identifying as bi, people think you are a sell out or just saying it for attention. Anna Paquin has talked about this before I think.

    • Skoochy says:

      Yeah, this. It has an air of ‘all lives matter’ about it. Of course labels mean nothing to her, she’s white, wealthy and beautiful, she can slip ‘labels’ on and off and gets to choose when they’re visible. Not so much for the trans community, for example. Very short sighted statement from someone who later tries to champion herself for being openly bi as though that was new ground.

    • tealily says:

      I agree, Renee2, and thought the same thing. However, since I am not a member of the LQBTQ community and she is, I also think it’s within her rights to describe her self and her experience and feelings the way she sees them. I do think she is undervaluing the idea of “community” though, and it a little bit feels like she’s throwing that community under the bus.

    • Tiffany :) says:

      I interpreted her comments as saying when you start trying to fit human sexuality into little boxes with specific names, it is always going to be lacking. It won’t ever due justice to the true complexity of human sexuality.

  12. Myhairisfullofsecrets says:

    I have nothing against her but I feel like she’s just talking out of her a$$ at this point. I kind of want her to be quiet for a bit.

  13. Jussie says:

    I kind of like her at times, but then there’s a try-hard quality to her that really grates. I think she is actually pretty smart, but she puts so much obvious effort into coming across as smart it basically backfires.

    She still presents like a lot of young actresses do when they’re starting out and don’t want to play ‘the girlfriend’ roles, except she’s 31 and she’s been in the industry for a decade, so it’s kind of weird she hasn’t moved past that. Even Megan Fox moved past that, and she was pigeonholed way more than Amber.

  14. Nicole says:

    Didn’t liked her before Depp or with him. Had some respect for her after him. And now I’m back to not liking her. This statement is problematic for sure.
    Still don’t think she’s a good actress. Also she’s back to her BS with Elon so yea not feeling her at all.

    • Milla says:

      I didn’t have respect, i felt sorry for her.

      But i didn’t like her and i cannot like her. She is an actress who cannot act. And everything she says is been there, heard that. She really is trying to be new Jolie, but she cannot.

    • Jussie says:

      I actually think Elon might be back with his ex, Talulah, and I don’t know about now but a couple of weeks ago Amber was still very much with that stuntman guy she was spotted making out with a few months back.

      I think they knew Musk’s Rolling Stone interview where he talks about their break-up really candidly was coming out, and right when she has a movie out , so they decided to spend a few days showing everyone they’re still friends and it’s all cool. They’ve gone back to not following each other on social media again, after like 3 days, so it seems like a PR push.

      • Nicole says:

        Got it. I mean the PR stunt was obvious and I rolled my eyes for sure.
        I also don’t think she can’t act her way out of a paper bag

      • six says:

        They are probably back together, they were photographed having lunch together in LA yesterday… Major league power games between them starting up again in three, two, one…

      • Annon says:

        The Rolling Stone interview was over three meetings with Musk. In the last one, at the end of the article, Riley was there and is quoted explaining something Musk said, it sounded weird. And I dont buy this whole PR stunt thing. What PR is he going to get using her name? Or what additional PR is she going to get using his name? She has the entire Warner Bros spin machine promoting JL. She does not need to use his name right now. More than once they were spotted together after they broke up and one of his kids went to the JL premier with her apparently. So they may actually be back together.

      • Nicole says:

        I think its PR because the interview JUST dropped and he was holding a magazine with her on the cover. Its eye roll worthy. They could be back together (hope not) but doesn’t change the stunt aspect

    • PPP says:

      What’s wrong with dating Elon Musk? She can date who she wants to date.

      • D says:

        She can date who she wants to date, but I think Elon is creepy (especially after reading what his ex wife wrote about him). She should pass on that guy, he seems like he’s got issues.

      • PPP says:

        @D, maybe he’s creepy, maybe he’s not. Someone that rich is probably a sociopath. He’s a handsome, successful, smart guy, so I’m not surprised she would feel an attraction. If she were my friend I’d put in my two cents, but she’s grown. I’m not gonna hate on her for it.

      • Nicole says:

        Going from one abusive man to another possibly really problematic one? Also I hate stunting and yesterday was screaming stunt.

      • Jussie says:

        I wouldn’t judge him based purely on what his ex-wife wrote. They were going through a very, very long, brutal and public divorce, and she was pushing really, really hard for their post-nup to be thrown out at the time that article came out. It was a move meant to put public pressure on and get her a big settlement and a sizeable stake in his companies (she eventually got the settlement, but considerably less than he’d originally offered her).

        Her own blog painted a pretty different picture of their relationship. In that it definitely comes off as a toxic relationship, but very much on both sides. For instance, when they were together she regularly wrote about how he wasn’t her type at all and how she was far more attractive than him. Like, she’d just jam that into all sorts of topics, whether it was in any way relevant or not. He suggested she dye her hair blonder, she suggested he dress completely differently. She showed little interest in his work, he showed little interest in hers. They grieved for their deceased son differently, and neither could deal with how the other handled it. Basically just very different people who consistently brought out the worst in each other.

        The one thing they didn’t fight about was custody of their children. Musk has had them 4 days a week ever since they divorced. If he was so awful, I find it hard to believe his ex would have agreed to him having them more than 50% of the time without any kind of fight, or even an attempt at a fight.

      • D says:

        @Jussie I’m not judging him purely based on what his ex-wife wrote, that’s just my general impression of him. Some people you read about, see interviews with and just immediately dislike, get a bad feeling for etc. Is that fair? No, probably not….but still there it is – there’s something about him that creeps me out.

      • CynicalAnn says:

        Wait-he’s probably a “sociopath”? So you can make a judgement on him based on gossip and no first hand experience, but no one else can do the same with her? Got it.

  15. wood dragon says:

    Still not impressed. Time will tell with her character.

  16. Vanilla says:

    So full of herself and her pseudo intelligence, I’m-so-unique-and-better-than-everyone shtick. You’re no Angelina Jolie, Amber, sit DOWN.

    • PPP says:

      I’m gonna start calling commenters like you minions. So quick to drag a woman for nothing, the Weinsteins of the world love you.

      • Micki says:

        A posession of vagina doesn’t make you superior per se.

      • PPP says:

        No, but it certainly does make it more likely for you to get criticized for a whole lot of nothing.

      • Vanilla says:

        @PPP What’s Weinstein got to do with Heard being a try-hard intellectual? I’d say the same thing if she was a man.

        Btw, are you her publicist or are you actually Amber? This is a gossip site, people judge celebrities, man or woman. So calm down Amber, don’t be so defensive. Go read Ayn Rand or something.

      • PPP says:

        @Vanilla: it’s not about Amber, it’s about understanding the context in which women are devalued, harassed, and not believed. Sure, this is a gossip site, and in the past it’s been really judge-y. But I think in the wake of all that’s coming out, it’s time to examine the role we all play in devaluing women. A lot of commenters here and the writers on the site are doing some examination– note the piece of Megan Fox, who once was similarly derided as try-hard.

        Whatever wrong Amber Heard has committed is really unclear to me. You call her a try-hard intellectual, but it’s not clear to me that she’s trying to be an intellectual. Other commenters have pointed out the problems they have with what she says with a fair amount of respect, but there’s a big difference between having a problem with what she says and dismissing her as a person, which is what you’re doing. And it sucks. And if you can’t see the line from how quick people are to jump on a woman for the tiniest wrong, to how easy it is to smear an actress if she misbehaves… well, it’s better to be a try-hard intellectual than someone thoroughly committed to their close-minded ignorance.

      • Bella Dupont says:


        I agree with you 1,000,000%. You are articulating my thoughts on this perfectly. Bravo!

      • Otaku Fairy says:

        Vanilla, PPP has been a regular commenter here for a while, does not comment only on Amber Heard posts, and often makes good points about the ways women are treated. I don’t always agree 100% with each of them, but she does make me think. She is not one of the new Trump trolls/ bots who just showed up here after the election. Just as you and some of the others have the right to leave multiple posts on one article mocking Amber for being desperate to distance herself from a damaging stereotype that’s been used against her, PPP has the right to express her opinion. That doesn’t make her ‘Amber Heard’, ‘Amber Heard’s stan’, or someone paid by Amber’s team. I mean, you and the others aren’t Johnny Depp’s stans or getting paid by his team to attack Amber, right?
        @Micki ( “A posession of vagina doesn’t make you superior per se”): Who said that it does, and why is that the knee-jerk response to a woman making observations about the way women are treated and the narratives around them? To derail with “yeah, well, women do bad stuff too, so….Matriarchy… Misandry… Female Supremacists.”

      • detritus says:

        most of us who defend Amber, or Angie, or whoever are accused of being stans. Its weird, because I’m defending women, not woman.

        And that doesn’t mean they are immune to criticism, just that there are certain types and direction of criticism that play into the culture ‘men’ want ‘women’ to have.
        ie fighting with each other and the beautiful ones have no ego because they truly don’t know their worth so that some deeply mediocre dude can fantasize that she will find him to be heroic and handsome because she undervalues herself.

    • six says:

      @PPP You are calling commenters on this thread out for being judgmental, yet you yourself seem to want to shame those commenters into submission by calling them ‘Weinstein minions’. So who is being judgmental here?

      • PPP says:

        As I have said in numerous other places, I have no problem with commenters criticizing the content of her words. My problem is the hostility and aggression of commenters like yourself. You may see it as aggressive for me to be drawing the line between behavior like yours and Weinstein, and I’m sorry if that’s hard for you, but the quickness to dismiss a woman makes it easy to slander a woman. And that’s what Weinstein did, routinely. Celebitchy’s writers have been pretty clear that they themselves wrote pieces on how difficult actresses were, that likely had their origins in a Weinstein smear. Commenters like you drive the efficacy of those tactics.

      • Otaku Fairy says:

        Isn’t “Don’t judge our judgment, hypocrite” in conversations about sexism and feminism just a more ‘politically correct’ version of “Tolerate my intolerance, or else you’re intolerant, hypocrite?”

      • CynicalAnn says:

        “Hostility” and “aggression” for saying she’s not a good actress?

      • PPP says:

        @Otaku Fairy- sorry if it’s late, but I really appreciate the support. Sisters representing sisters unite! Also, the point you’re making is the point I’ve been making all day– these days I have an app called self-control that stops be from being obsessive about these posts and I’ve been off till now. But I notice the good work you’ve put in as well.

    • magnoliarose says:

      Why is Angelina Jolie part of this conversation? It seems odd to me. Did I miss something about the two of them?

      • buckley says:

        They’re both mediocre actors.

      • ArchieGoodwin says:

        OMG Magnolia, I am wondering the same thing.
        I am just scrolling through it now, Saturday morning, and I still cannot see why people are comparing her to anyone?

        PPP- I understand where you are coming from. If I may, could you please lend your logic and insight to the next Kate thread? You are needed there. The comments about her are terrible, unjustified- so much so I no longer dare click the thread because it’s so uncomfortable reading how easily some posters degrade her.

      • PPP says:

        @ Archie Goldwin- I never read royals posts because I’m against worshiping royals as celebrities, I’m against monarchical systems, and I’m against them transitioning into a hereditary wealth/celebrity machine thing. I can also understand hostility/anger at people who have so much taxpayer-gained wealth for doing so little. I’m only a bit interested in Megan Markle just because I think having a WOC princess probably does a lot of good in raising up fellow WOC. I’ll give it a try tho next time I see a post.

  17. Artemis says:

    She’s one of those people who are actually smart, and there’s no shame showing it off, but often say stupid things. You can have a doctorate and still be dumb AF. Heard’s musings are very cringey or eye-roll inducing at times, she’s very into being ‘so unique, so different, wow’. She sounds exhausting and full of herself but ngl, I would want to spend an evening with her (partying) and make out…whoops :)

    Her comment about the lack of good scripts sound like Biel and all those other mediocre actresses who moan about being too pretty to be taken seriously. I think Heard occupies a space were many other (more talented) actresses fit in too so obviously she’s got to make do. Without her beauty nobody would hire her at all and nobody would care in general.

    • Jayna says:

      Spot on on all your comments, except one. I wouldn’t want to make out and party with her. LOL

      I was surprised at her average acting the first time I saw her in a movie. She’s nothing special in the acting department. She is beautiful, though.

  18. QueenB says:

    “When I was growing up, my friends had ’N Sync posters, and I collected feminist propaganda from World War II”

    Our Ayn Rand loving feminist bad ass IS NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS!!!!

  19. snow says:

    I don’t get the actresses who complain about not getting good scripts because they are “too pretty”

    Uhh just to name a few: Charlize, Angelina, J.Lawrence, Scarlet J, Natalie Portman, Nicole Kidman, Reese, Emma Stone… and they are way more beautiful than the Ambers, the Megans and the Biels.

    • Jussie says:

      Yeah, Natalie Portman basically shuts that argument down. She’s truly beautiful, and in that sort of doll-like way that can’t really be played down much. Yet she gets great roles, and always has.

      Or how about Margot Robbie, who has a similar blonde bombshell look? She’s absolutely killing it.

      Or, y’know, Angelina Jolie. She’s not usually in the best films, but regardless, she gets the meaty roles despite being one of the most unique and memorable beauties on the planet.

      • ArchieGoodwin says:

        I really like Natalie. I know some think she is a terrible actress, and as Padme, she was totally miscast. That whole movie series needs a do over.

        But she has been wonderful in other roles. and she is breathtaking, compelling, IMO. Like Jolie, you can’t take your eyes off her yet she sinks into the role.

    • ell says:

      tbf charlize has commented on this as well, saying that she lots roles because they wanted someone who looked ‘normal’.

      margot robbie is beautiful, but she can look very plain and generic in roles which works in her favour (she can also act, which makes quite the difference lol).

  20. tracking says:

    She is far less interesting than she thinks she is.

  21. poppy says:

    did she share parents with goop?
    so much hubris!


  22. Max says:

    She’s so full of herself that even if she says some right things I just can’t prevent my eyes from rolling badly.And what’s wrong with being a princess?Wonder Woman and Xena for example are one of the most iconic princesses and they are awesome and bad ass and have nothing to be jealous of in a prince.
    I think she’s one of those people who try to sound intelectual by using smart words etc but they end up looking very try hard and fake.Well I have never read an interview of hers where she didn’t have that attitube.Amber honey,maybe,just maybe,you don’t get good scripts cause you are not talented and charismatic enough and not because you are a woman.While she was still with Depp she had complained that he was getting more scripts than her and that it was only due to misogyni cause of course she’s such a talent.Give me a break.

  23. PPP says:

    Does anyone here remember just a few days ago the post on Megan Fox? How people were going to old columns and feeling ashamed for dragging this girl for doing nothing wrong? Y’all need some introspection. The hostility here is more uniform than on Louis C.K.’s original outing post.

  24. Naddie says:

    I have to say I loved the comment about the “enigmatic ” stuff, lol. Female roles are always “enigmatic ” , it annoys me to the point I give up on the book/film.
    About looks: when someone doesn’t want to be remembered just by the looks, he or she achieves it. Marion Coutilard, Charlize Theron, Natalie Portman, Angelina Jolie, Saoirse Roman… All white-standard, all known beyond their beauty.

  25. JA says:

    So very try hard and obnoxious. She is playing the game and she knows it. Yes, I believe she was abused and no human being deserves that but girl is selling us something and I ain’t buying.

  26. Valiantly Varnished says:

    You know I was always sort of *insert eye roll* about her. But after the Johnny thing I gained a lot of respect for her. She’s brave. For a woman in Hollywood to speak out against someone like Depp takes a lot of courage and confidence. I find myself really rooting for her.

  27. slowsnow says:

    I think we take this woman fro granted a lot: she came out as bi, outed Depp as an abuser, she wants to be a serious actress (and after coming out I’m sure she gota lot of creepy scripts and not much more) and yet she doesn’t whine, doesn’t complain except about what matters to her: her work.
    And she genuinely seems to love reading and educating herself. And when she was a kid, princes got the action and princesses did not, that’s a fact. We should be celebrating the fact that kids today are not in this situation anymore but let’s not pretend it wasn’t like that 20 years ago.
    I just didn’t understand what she said about the lgbt movement but it may be ignorance on my part.

    • SilverUnicorn says:

      “And when she was a kid, princes got the action and princesses did not, that’s a fact.”

      Exactly. I skimmed down quickly but saw plenty of comments who were mad at her for that comment… Go figure…

      About the LGBT+ comment, I’d say her views are a bit too simplified and she doesn’t take into account that there are tensions even within the LGBT+ community (a lot of biphobia and total dislike for anyone who has a different gender identity), so there is a long road to go before getting to her utopic idea of ‘equality for all’.

  28. Me says:

    I wouldn’t try to lecture her about what “misogyny” in our society is, because she experienced it better than anyone writing in the comments
    I also understand her annoyance toward the “beautiful” thing, because that’s likely all the scripts her agent receives for her, because she’s beautiful and no one would choose her for a role where they need a plain jane. So that’s all what she gets

    Her stance about being “out” in Hollywood is also true. Some here seems to forget but none of those actresses that people talk about being bisexual was out in Hollywood during their relationship with a woman. Most of these bisexual actresses around the same age or older than Amber, always told about their woman/woman relationships after. Never walked hand in hand with their gilrfriends to a premiere, not even full-on lesbians did like Jodie Foster. When Amber came out was a big deal and she was right in the leading-lady phase of her career, just acting opposite the likes of Depp, etc

    She’s smart and i get why some people think she tries too hard to show it, because i think she actually does that. And likely has had to do the same all her life, because everyone just see her face and see how beautiful she is and she has to work really hard for people to recognize that behind her beautiful face, she actually has a working brain

    • Wren says:

      I agree. I think she’s overcompensating but when everyone assumes you’re stupid because you’re 1) female and 2) attractive, it gets aggravating. Everyone’s so happy calling her pretentious and pompous and “you’re no Jolie”. Why, exactly? I don’t love her as an actress and yeah she could do with thinking through some of her statements before making them, but why can’t she own herself? We’re all supposed to be feminist and let women decide who and what they are for themselves, but only apparently if you fit a certain mold. Yet again.

    • Amide says:

      Huh? Angelina never walked with Jenny Shiu (sp), but the relationship was public knowledge and widely discussed in every sphere.
      See also Jodie Foster and her other half.
      And these 2 were legit leading ladies, complete with acclaim and box office receipts.

    • I Choose Me says:

      Agree with this assessment completely.

  29. Wren33 says:

    I am really not sure about her usage of limbic and medulla here. She does seems to try to use fancy sounding words to perform smartness, but I totally get her overall message and she certainly isn’t anyone we need to tear down.

    • Meggles says:

      Maybe she is just really interested in neuroscience, or happens to have a large vocabulary, and that’s how she naturally speaks? The one time I saw her in person she was hanging out in an academic bookshop, so she may well be smarter than people assume from her appearance.

      Really can we not attack intelligence in women?

    • Limbic system = heart says:

      Because the limbic system actually has the function that “Hallmark” confusingly attributed to the “heart”
      Is the limbic system that deals with emotions, memory and stimulations. The limbic system (Amygdala, Hypothalamus, Thalamus, etc ) send the “orders” to react to different stimulations

  30. BooBooLaRue says:

    of course “I collected feminist propaganda from World War II” – I doubt that she even knew what WWII was or could spell feminist. I just can’t with her.

  31. Isa says:

    When I was growing up I wanted to be Xena, warrior princess.

  32. Meggles says:

    Man rapes someone: 30 comments saying what a terrible person he is.

    Woman says something “clever” or “snobby” or “try too hard” or “cool” or “has been done before”: 200 comments from people saying what a terrible person she is.

    Not judging anyone’s right to an opinion, but the amount of people who feel an urgent need to tell the world how much they disapprove of any woman who ever puts a toe outside the very very narrow range of acceptable female behaviour, is far more problematic than anything Amber could ever say.

  33. I Choose Me says:

    You know what? I love what she had to say here. She’s introspective and makes some very good points. Parts of what she says may come across as her still trying to be the ‘cool girl’ but I’m okay with that. She’s figuring sh-t out. Aren’t we all? I’m okay with Amber and I’m sincerely rooting for her.

  34. Okie says:

    Amber is gorgeous AND she is smart. I believe you can be both–obviously. However, this woman cannot act and there is nothing genuine or original about her persona. She is a media manipulator. Just yesterday she was photographed with Elon Musk, having breakfast. He was reading a magazine with HER on the cover and she was dressed up like a damn cowgirl. No one can tell me she didn’t stage those shots. She’s not a dummy and she’s very ambitious but I don’t think anyone is falling for what she is selling. She was literally marketed as the next Jolie when she first came out but Angelina can actually act. Amber cannot. She really has zero onscreen charisma.

  35. FlyingV says:

    For some reason I hear Johnny Depp off in the distance, slurring “I’mnotyourprincezzz!”. As he flings a wine bottle at a cat.

  36. crazydaisy says:

    This is the first time I’ve read an interview with Amber – Really like how she thinks and articulates! Smart young woman and yes, she is very pretty, too! – (don’t know about her acting chops…) count me in #teamamber -

  37. Heckity Nope. says:

    So now we’re all supposed to celebrate her white and pretty Ayn Rand worshipping lack of acting talent now she’s gotten back on a few magazine covers and flung some pretentious word salad around? You’re all too easy to please. Her friends have done more than she has, and once again, she is coat tailing off someone else with her one and a half minutes in Justice League. Go google Amanda De Cadenet Girlgaze project as an example. To misquote – Heard’s the hero you WANT, not the one you need. No time for Amber Heard and her thirst whatsoever.

  38. Felicia says:

    I suspect the need to constantly assert her smarts, which I agree does come across as “try-hard”, likely stems from the fact that she dropped out of high school. That’s not a judgement on her intelligence since dropping out of high school can happen for reasons that have nothing to do with grades or brains.

    But it might explain why she she feels the need to constantly push the narrative of being an intellectual.

  39. adastraperaspera says:

    As a lesbian since high school, all the way back in the 80s, it makes me sad that actors still can’t come out as gay without fear of a negative impact to their careers. I am not saying Amber is doing that–I respect her right not to label herself. But some of us like “gay labels,” and it’s too bad this strong HW cultural barrier still exists.

  40. jammypants says:

    I couldn’t stand her back then, but I’m finding myself liking her more and more.

  41. lol says:

    ”I give her more respect. She genuinely raised awareness – through personal suffering and her own bravery in coming forward – about the increased dangers bisexual women face in intimate relationships. She really did take a chance with her career when she came out.”

    You are illiterate. You didn’t read the article?

  42. African Sun says:

    LOL says this while on cover of beauty magazine. Ok Ambs.

    • Jaded says:

      Where else would she make an impact? She’s using her celebrity to highlight the need to understand how people identify sexually and socially, especially in a horribly male-dominated and sexualized industry that uses and abuses women. She’s taking a stand and her acting ability or lack thereof, her beauty, her famous ex-husband matter not other than it gives her a platform from which to widely share her experiences. The more women who can come forward and make this an open and discussed issue the better in my opinion.

  43. Otaku Fairy says:

    She looks beautiful on this cover. Love the way they made her eyes more green.