Wilson Cruz: ‘When I came out, my dad kicked me out’

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Don’t worry, this isn’t a post about a reboot of My So-Called Life, but I’m always happy to talk about Wilson Cruz, who played the openly gay member of Claire Danes’ high school squad on the series, which ran for one season back in 1994. Wilson is also openly gay, and hss used his celebrity for good, serving as an advocate for LBGTQ youth, especially those of color, actively working with organizations including GLAAD and the Trevor Project.

The 43-year-old is currently part of the ensemble cast of Star Trek: Discovery, playing another openly gay character, a Starfleet officer named Dr. Hugh Culber, involved with Anthony Rapp’s character, USS Discovery’s Chief Engineer, Lt. Paul Stamets. Fun fact: Anthony and Wilson are both alums of the Broadway musical Rent. Wilson is also set to return for season two of the Netflix series 13 Reasons Why, playing Dennis Vasquez, the attorney for Hannah Baker’s family. During a red carpet interview at the TrevorLIVE LA event a few weeks ago, he promised that the upcoming season will “blow people’s minds”. While he kept tight-lipped about the specifics of the new season, he said “I can tell you that I play the lawyer on the show and I’m in every episode, so let that tell you whatever that tells you.”

In a recent TIME Magazine profile, Wilson recollected on his role on MSCL and how art can sometimes imitate life. He says that playing Ricky was “life-altering” and has a lot to do as to why he devotes so much of his time to being an advocate for LBGTQ kids, stating that “People come up to me all the time to tell me how much the show and character affected them, and I always tell them it meant just as much to me. Because that role literally saved my life. It saved my relationship with my family, and it changed the trajectory of my career. It was an honor to play him.”

As far as Wilson’s coming out story, it was difficult. He told TIME that the event “didn’t go well”, elaborating that “My dad kicked me out. I ended up sleeping in my car.” But, Dad watched the show and eventually, thankfully, came around. Wilson recalled that “After the episode where Ricky gets kicked out for being gay, he called me and said maybe it was time for a talk. He’s now an incredibly important ally in my life. He’s my hero, because he put love and family first.”

Coming from a Puerto Rican family, Wilson takes time to work with LGBTQ youth – especially with those who come from Puerto Rico and Hispanic countries, to help make their coming out stories happier ones. He notes that “The Catholic Church plays a huge role in our culture, which has been an obstacle with people opening up. There’s the added obstacle of machismo and gender roles in our community. But I’m hopeful. The new pope and the church are doing exciting things that I never thought I’d see in my lifetime.”

As an ally, it’s great to see such a positive role model for LBGTQ youth. I think Wilson is doing a great service to the community – not only wit his advocacy work, but by continuing to portray positive gay characters on television. And, as a side note, I can’t wait for season two of 13 Reasons Why.

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photos: WENN.com

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18 Responses to “Wilson Cruz: ‘When I came out, my dad kicked me out’”

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  1. Nicole says:

    Love him. And I like that he talked about how culture and religion plays into the difficulty of coming out. Also I’m always happy when a coming out story that was initially terrible turns around.

    • Sabrine says:

      His father’s reaction to him coming out was heart wrenching. I could not imagine throwing my child out to fend for himself after he came out to me, hoping for love and support. The fact that this was 20 years ago and it was a different culture is no excuse. Irregardless, this was still his child. The fact he forgave his father shows what a kind and good person he is. Parents are still doing this to their children these days, sadly. Has anything changed?

  2. ichsi says:

    LOOOVE him on ST Discovery!!

  3. Lilith says:

    Gorgeous man – inside and out. How sad his father had to come around. Inexcusable.

    • BJ says:

      How wonderful that he did come around.I have a friend whose parents never came around even after he was diagnosed with AIDS.He died never seeing them again.

    • HadToChangeMyName says:

      I’m glad he came around eventually, but am baffled that he didn’t know. What kind of relationship did he have with his son – before he came out – that he didn’t have an inkling?

      • Nicole says:

        Again put this into context: they are from a culture that is largely religious and any type of “femininity” is shunned. Also he came out 20+ years ago. This was not a conversation many people were having at all.

  4. Annie says:

    Loved his character in MSCL and he seems to have become someone I would have liked Ricky to become. Warms my heart.

  5. Renee2 says:

    I’ve only seen two episodes of my so called life and this was one of them. It broke my heart. I’m glad that his dad saw it and had a change of heart.

  6. laulau says:

    He is aging REALLY well! So handsome.
    Good to see him speak about being kicked out. I used to work at a program for homeless youth and far too many of them had similar stories.

    • Esmom says:

      He is so handsome and clearly has a big heart. As do you, working with such a vulnerable population. My heart breaks thinking about them.

  7. Lizzie says:

    i re-watched MSCL recently and boy does it hold up. what a beautiful show. it was so well acted all around and the ricky character was heartbreaking and really important to have on tv. he was really well written, capturing a lot of nuance. wilson cruz’s acting was subtle and real and in no way a caricature. his treatment by the chase family and the teacher was really complex and touching. his whole arch was really beautiful.

    • Sylvia says:

      Yes, to all of this. My So Called Life really was a great show, and I loved Ricky so much. He reminded me of my BFF in high school who was a gay Latino too, and I remember it was so important and almost revelatory for him to see someone like himself represented on tv.

  8. adastraperaspera says:

    His role on My So-Called Life really did make a difference. I’m sure the episode where he was kicked out saved the lives of many gay kids considering suicide. As a lesbian, I’m thankful for him and also sorry for what he initially went through with his family. My experience of the 80s/90s gay life was that you were either kicked out, caught a plane to San Francisco or NYC or stayed in the closet. By the mid-90s, places like Atlanta, Fort Lauderdale and Seattle, etc. became decent havens.

  9. Chaine says:

    Did anyone else look at the header pic first and think this was going to be about Jeff Goldblum?

  10. Jayna says:

    Did anyone see the coverage of the peanut farmer from Alabama who was out picketing against Roy Moore, because his daughter was a lesbian, who committed suicide at 23? He’s in his 70s, can’t even pronounce pervert right, always feels guilty for how he first treated his daughter when she came out, and was out at an event so Roy Moore wouldn’t be elected because of his stance towards the LGBTQ community, and the farmer didn’t like how Roy Moore talked about the gay community, calling them perverts. He said Roy was a pervert for dating underage girls.

    I had tears. It was a short clip, but it went viral. And then Daily Beast called him and got more detail in an interview. This old country farmer from Alabama, Nathan Mathis, who was raised in the church to believe being gay was a sin, was out there with his sign fighting for the gay community and fighting for the memory of his daughter.

    • Sylvia says:

      That is an awesome but still very sad story about the farmer. And he’s right, Moore is a pervert for dating underage girls. Disgusting.

  11. Dolkite says:

    Being gay in a Puerto Rican family can be very, very tough. I have a very good friend who is PR and I know his family well. One of them told me if he ever had a gay son, he’d try to “beat the gay out of him” and when someone joked to my friend that maybe his son was gay, he didn’t find it one bit funny and told them never to say that. I don’t know if this is typical for PR families.