Stephen King asks Twitter followers to cheer him up with jokes

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Author Stephen King is one of the people I follow on Twitter. I like him in general and find his tweets a nice mixture of informative and amusing. But I live for his Molly aka the Thing of Evil posts about his beloved pup. Molly brightens my day every time she pops up:

But life does not always go as planned (unless you’re Molly aka the Thing of Evil) and sometimes even best selling authors have an off-day. Wednesday, King posted the following tweet:

A few things went through my mind when I saw this. The first was that I admire people who have the confidence to be vulnerable in such a public way. The second was my busy-body curiosity about what was possibly making him blue and hoping it wasn’t something too serious (and certainly not anything to do with Molly aka the Thing of Evil.) Then I thought about what a brilliant way to perk yourself up when you are feeling down. I purposefully scroll Twitter looking for funny tweets when I’m down. Either that or go to Buzzfeed to read one for their funny Tweet compilation posts so King’s request seemed inspired to me. All those thoughts were eclipsed by my biggest thought which was: what joke do I know that can make Stephen King laugh?!? Alas, the answer turned out to be “none.” I am a lousy at telling jokes. I can be sarcastic, make puns or give funny responses but I suck at telling jokes. And as I age, I have become one of those people who forgets part of it and has to go back and start again. Fortunately for King, he didn’t need to wait for me to remember a good joke, he received 7,000 others. Below are a smattering of the jokes he received (I tried to appeal to a variety of humor preferences):

… you get the idea. You can click here to read more, like I said, there are thousands of responses. But the winner, the one that made Mr. King laugh out loud was this one:

This Mister would love that joke too. And when I tell it to him tonight, I’m taking all the credit (he’s rarely on Twitter so he’ll never know.) The good news is that it worked. Once King got his laugh, he started laughing at all of them, which was the whole point. As I said, I chickened out but there was one joke I love that I was considering. Good thing I didn’t post it, someone else did:

I love this idea. It’s Friday. 2018 has gotten off to a rocky start, let’s make each other laugh. Offer up yours in the comments.

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40 Responses to “Stephen King asks Twitter followers to cheer him up with jokes”

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  1. Slowsnow says:

    This post is gonna be everything.

    *Get’s snacks*

  2. Ripley says:

    What’s green and has wheels?

  3. Mm says:

    Two people were walking through a forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first person says, “Those are moose tracks.” The second person says, “Those are deer tracks.” They were still arguing when the train hit them.

  4. leskat says:

    How do you make a tissue dance?

    You put a little boogie in it!

  5. savu says:

    I love those funny tweets on BuzzFeed too! This is nice. I love positive social media. And it’s always nice when somebody who has everything they could want admits they’re having a “blue day”. Nothing’s wrong, it’s not like it’s depression, just that feeling of being kinda off and sad. I like him.

    • LadyMTL says:

      I’ve been having a blue week and I laughed so hard at the Heisenberg / Schroedinger joke that I actually do feel better.

      One of my alltime faves is this, I’ve seen lots of variations on it but this is pretty much the one I heard:

      Sara: Julie, did you hear about Anne? Her new boyfriend is severely allergic to cats, and she’s had Mr Boots for such a long time!

      Julie: Oh no, that’s too bad. Is she going to put him up for adoption?

      Sara: She sure is. His name is Paul, he’s an IT manager….free to a good home.

  6. Incredulous says:

    What be a pirate’s favourite letter?

  7. Catwoman says:

    What does oral sex with a senior citizen taste like?

    Depends.

  8. Tiffany says:

    Hey, did you hear about the two peanuts walking down the street and one was a salted.

  9. Anners says:

    Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows?

    They’re making headlines!

  10. Nancypants says:

    Daughter’s very first second grade joke:

    You go into the bathroom and you’re American.

    You walk out of the bathroom and you’re American.

    What are you while you’re IN the bathroom?

    You’re -a – peein’!

    Yeah, well.
    She graduated the university Summa Cum Laude, so, we got that goin’ for us.

    And LOVE to Mr. King! That guy scared the s**t out of me for about 20 years.

  11. Tim Whatley says:

    Did you ever hear the story of the fairy godmother who sat on Pinocchio’s face and said “lie to me, lie to me!!…”

  12. deets says:

    Two fish are sitting in a tank. One looks at the other and says, ‘so do you know how to drive this thing?’

    I, for one, like Roman numerals.

  13. TheNotoriousMCG says:

    Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

    Because they’re really good at it

  14. bcgirl says:

    What did the Zero say to the 8?

  15. Mabs A'Mabbin says:

    I have tears with Rob at Lowes.

  16. Andrea says:

    I didn’t get the Bill Withers and the duck. But I’m swedish

    • deets says:

      It took me a second read too.

      Put it in the sun until it’s bill (beak) withers (dries up). Bill Withers having sang the iconic Ain’t No Sunshine

  17. Swordspoint says:

    (Best said aloud)

    What does a nosy pepper do?
    It gets jalapeño business!

    …I don’t get the Bill Withers one.

    ETA: got it 0.28472 seconds after I hit Submit

  18. DesertReal says:

    As told to me by a pharmacy patient when I was having a bad day:
    If your uncle Jack was stuck on a roof and couldn’t get himself down, would you help Jack off? Lol
    My reply:
    No, Jack can get himself off.

  19. Lady D says:

    -A blonde, a brunette and a redhead walk into a bar. You’d think one of them would of ducked.
    -Mary had a little lamb, her doctor had a cow.

  20. monette says:

    It’s hard to get jokes when English is not your native language and you read them as opposed to hearing them out loud.
    Had to read the peanuts one 3 times to get it.
    But they were all very funny!