Gabrielle Union covers the new issue of Redbook, in what is probably one of the prettiest magazine covers for the March issues. The current magazine covers for March have been pretty awful, so I’m setting the bar low anyway, but still: Gabrielle looks lovely. She’s on the cover to promote her bestselling memoir We’re Going to Need More Wine and all of her side projects, basically. I’m here for it. If Gwyneth Paltrow can shill her Goopy fake science, then Gabrielle Union can shill for her haircare line and clothing line. You can read her Redbook interview here, and I’ll admit it, a curious thing happened when I read this piece: I believed her. I didn’t roll my eyes once, not even when she talked about having a life coach/therapist and a vision board. Even when she’s talking about some of those eye-rolly things, I still think she’s pretty cool and authentic.
On shutting down negativity: “When someone starts gossiping, I’ll be like, ‘I can’t.’ It stops people cold. They’ll ask, ‘What? What can’t you do?’ Then I’m like, ‘Listen to this. Yeah, I can’t. It’s sooo negative. Can we go back to your kid spitting? Because that was funny.’ You have to do it with a wink and a nod, but it shuts people down. I used to just do it if the conversation was centered on a loved one – you’re not talking s—it about my friends or my family members in front of me. But now it’s in general, because when you let that into your space, whether or not you’re going to spread it or agree with it, your silence makes you complicit in negative energy, and that comes back.”
On listening to someone else’s story and triggering her PTSD from sexual assault: “On my book tour, a lot of cities felt like a revival—there were so many disclosures of abuse during the Q&A portion of talks and during the book signing; even as I was driving away people were flagging down my car in tears. I didn’t realize how big the need was for so many people to just get it out, to have someone look them in the eye and say, ‘I believe you.’ I cried a lot. I Skyped a lot with my life coach, because the horrors that I was taking in triggered my PTSD. But I feel a responsibility to offer that sense of safety and support. And luckily I have the means to help myself at the end of the night.”
On creating a “happy list”: “I started working with a therapist who asked me to list things that make me happy, and one of my top three was imitation crab! You’re not on the right track if you say imitation crab. So the therapist started to ask questions: ‘What don’t you like? What annoys you? Have you ever experienced euphoria?’ Examine those moments and you’ll start to figure out who you really are.”
On following her dreams: “I make a vision board every year. Some of the pictures on my first one were of a haircare line, Kenya, and a Clearblue pregnancy test. As goals manifest, I’ve been able to look at my boards and say,‘Damn, I put in a lot of work and deserve it.’ That’s helped me to stop feeling suspicious of joy. To not sabotage something before I’ve had a chance to do it because I assume I’ll be rejected. The only things that have not come to pass are a cosmetics line, Machu Picchu, and a baby. I’ve had the positive stick, but also a number of miscarriages, so maybe I just have to go more specific and show a woman with a human being traveling through her orifices. I’ll put those things back on this year’s board and see what happens.”
Gabrielle Union might be the person who convinces me to do a vision board. Like, she makes it seem like a cool thing! I might have to try it. I’m also considering making a “happy list” now and should I NOT put “fried chicken” on it? Because I friggin’ love fried chicken. It makes me so happy. Why can’t I put food on my happy list???
The only thing I’ll nitpick Union about is her anti-gossip stance. One woman’s “negative gossip” is another woman’s casual conversation, you know? And here’s another way to think about it: one woman’s gossip is another woman’s attempt to inform, warn and educate about a problem she’s had or is aware of. Is it merely “gossip” to say to someone, “Hey, my friend went on a date with that guy, he’s a douchebag”? Or is that the warning women give to other women? Gossip is multifaceted and it’s part of how society works and functions, JMO. As for what Gabrielle says about being triggered by other women’s stories during her book tour… poor woman.
Photos courtesy of We Are the Rhoads for Redbook.
Vision Board and Happy List really speak to me. I’ve been feeling the winds of change, if that makes sense and doesn’t make me sound like hippy. Haha! I’m just not sure which direction the winds are blowing. I definitely can self-sabotage or suffer from imposter syndrome. I’m just starting to realize that, which feels like a late revelation, but I’m happy to see it.
Also, I trust Gabrielle Union to know when she’s receiving gossip and when someone is warning her or even venting. I’ll let someone vent, but it’s when someone wants/expects participation on my end that I pump the brakes.
Also, to those who have done a vision board: Do you find it best for it to be physical vs digital? There are apps, but for some reason, but I think I prefer the physical option.
I like a physical vision board. For me it really drives home the concept of solidifying my intentions. When I am searching for physical objects (I mostly use paper, but sometimes small objet d’art, or even writing things down longhand), and I’m cutting and pasting, and decorating and arranging, and writing with my hands instead of a mouse or touch screen, I feel it re-enforces making goals manifest in actual reality instead of staying in the virtual reality/dream ether. It’s a small push towards subsequent action that I don’t get from onscreen planning.
She looks gorgeous here! I just finished her book & I loved it. Her way of writing is really honest & makes you feel like you are hearing it from her directly.
I love the concept of law of attraction and thinking positive it really brings the best of you and people and loving yourself . Writing or creating vision boards keeps you focus.
I think there’s a difference between the gossip we do here and neighbourhood gossip. Small town gossip can be incredibly negative and have real life consequences.
I’m kinda tempted to start a vision board to…but that means thinking about goals post graduation and I just need to focus on that right now. 😂 Maybe I’ll do one after I’m done.
My Happy List: My Cat, Mountain Dew Blue, and the fact that I’m having a rare for a curly girl good hair day.
Yes, I agree on your gossip take. This is on my happy list, lol. Probably because it’s anonymous and we discuss people we don’t know. But personal gossip can be stressful. I was just on a weekend away with a group of friends and on the ride home with a couple of them, one of them starting trashing two of the others who weren’t riding home with us. It instantly erased the peaceful vibe I’d gotten from all of us hanging out and having fun.
Work gossip is also terrible. I have always tried to stay away from it, but occasionally I have to work closely with someone who constantly talks, usually negatively, about our co-workers. Sometimes I find myself drawn in…and then I remember that I wouldn’t want to be the one talked about so I back off. Fending off her constant attempts at trashing our co-workers is exhausting and definitely creates a negative vibe around us.
I had fried chicken for lunch yesterday and the last half of my workday went my way and flowed. So, I would suggest adding it to your happy list.
Union, I adore her and I cannot wait to read her book. My level of respect for her shot through the roof when she had to shoulder the Birth of A Nation promotion. She was a boss and I loved her for it.
I can relate that a vision board can be a marvelous thing IF, and ONLY IF you are completely true to yourself. No fantasies. I made the mistake of setting mine up with wedding images of what I wanted in my upcoming marriage to Mr Wrong. The wedding never happened. I had a lot invested in it and was miserable. Many years later, vision board-free, Gabrielle Union is inspiring me to do a vision board again. I will set attainable goals.
Bah I like hearing gossip. I don’t usually repeat it but I like hearing it and clutching my pearls.
I do too. I keep it close to my chest though, and don’t spread anything that I can’t confirm. And even if I can confirm it, if it’s something that’s only hurtful, I won’t. But like Kaiser said – sometimes it’s a great way to warn someone to pay a little more attention/be wary of certain people. It’s a bonding thing too – for a lot of people. There’s some weird wiring when it comes to humans – we’re just fascinated with the way other people live their lives. It’s also probably a certain amount of self-preservation attempt – you want to keep informed as much as possible.
The problem is a lot of people spread it to be spiteful, or hurtful. Sometimes it’s completely fabricated and intended only to harm a reputation.
But as far as ‘harmless’ or ‘helpful’ gossip goes, I’m a sucker for it.
I can attest to the bonding thing – my mother and her sisters gossiped and insulted/complained about others until the cows came home. They could go on and on and on, and one aunt definitely exaggerated for dramatic effect (ie lied outright) to make herself feel better about her less-than-great life. My mom would come home after we spent time with them and be energized and proclaim she had “the best time”. The rest of us were drained from all the negativity and couldn’t help but wonder if she bitched about us behind our backs when we weren’t there.
Bah I like hearing gossip. I don’t usually repeat it but I like hearing it and clutching my pearls. Granted some gossips you avoid as they can be too negative but I enjoy some fir sure.
I make a vision board every New Year’s! (Thank you, Oprah, for teaching me!) I make my kids and husband make them. I don’t necessary buy the Law of Attraction, but it’s good to dream and set goals.
Isn’t she married to a serial cheater? Maybe she should start there.
She is so beautiful, she deserves better.
I think she’s beautiful all day every day, and especially on this cover.
I’ve never done a vision board that was true to me – I did one with all the things I figured i SHOULD want and then promptly ignored it and then threw it away LOL. I’ve always meant to, but something kept stopping me. So many of my friends do it and actually do experience the things they want. For me, I’ve had some amazing freak opportunities come up that changed my life and were exactly what I had always hoped for, and all I had done was daydream about them. So to me daydreaming was kind of my thing and I stayed away from vision boards that woudl force me to first find used magazines (??? Where do you even get those anymore) to cut out pictures and pinpoint the daydream down to somethign very specific. Whatever, I’m rambling.
I like her a lot and I didn’t realize she had a memoir out. I’ll be sure to check it out.
She was one of those ageless vampires for a long time but I have to say she looks older on this cover. Not quite as youthful but still very beautiful.
“…helped me to stop feeling suspicious of joy.”
…what? Is that a thing?