There are a lot of things of mine that I wouldn’t want Paris Hilton to get her hands on. My dog. My boyfriend. My lady bits. Really anything whose health and safety I value, I want Paris to stay the hell away from it. According to years of rumors – which makes it pretty much a fact – Paris is also a mean, vengeful, spiteful bitch. Sometimes I doubt she’s as calculating as people claim, simply because she’d have to have at least a somewhat average level of intelligence. And no one’s debating that she’s dumber than a box of nails. Nonetheless, the last thing I’d want a vengeful, spiteful, petty person like Paris to have is access to my Blackberry. And according to Lily Allen, that’s exactly what she has. Lily claimed on her Twitter that Paris stole her Blackberry.

[From Lily Allen’s Twitter via the Frisky]

I don’t think it’s a good idea to get into a feud with either of these chicks. Both Lily and Paris can hold a grudge for years. Paris has a long history of treating her friends like crap (remember those couple years she and Nicole Richie didn’t speak to each other?) and dragging her friends into her feuds as well. But Lily doesn’t strike me as the type to sit back and be a passive victim – I’m sure she can take care of herself, and give as good as she gets.

It begs the question though – WHY did Paris steal Lily’s Blackberry? Just because she’s Paris, and can’t pass up an opportunity to be a bitch? Or did Lily do or say something to piss off Paris? A rational person would assume something had to happen to cause Paris to steal… but this is Paris Hilton. She’s incredibly stupid, immature, and entitled, and seems to think the grownup world is the exact same thing as middle school. It’s quite likely she was just bored and looking for something to do.

Here’s Lily leaving the ‘Hoping’s Got Talent’ fundraiser event for Palestinian refugee children, held at Cafe De Paris in London on Friday night. Images thanks to WENN.com .