Lena Dunham has a new ‘mystery boyfriend’ & they get high together

Lena Dunham at HBO's Official Golden Globe Awards After Party

Before we get to Lena Dunham’s new boyfriend, let’s examine the possibility that Lena Dunham is the actress who bit Beyonce. So many people think that the Mystery Biter is a white woman, but all we really know is that the woman is an actress. So what are the chances that Lena bit Beyonce?

While Lena Dunham is absolutely a problematic person and a racist, I actually don’t think she would BITE Beyonce. I think Lena would be the person who would try to touch Beyonce’s hair or boobs, likely while saying something incredibly offensive about “chocolate.” Maybe I’m wrong. Oh, we also know that Mystery Biter is on drugs. Does marijuana count? Because Lena Dunham was seen going into a marijuana dispensary with her new mystery boyfriend:

We don’t know who this guy is other than The Poor Dude With Back Pain From Having To Walk At An Awkward Angle To Accommodate Lena’s Weird Body Language. Lena and Jack Antonoff split late last year, and Jack has already moved on, either with Lorde or a model named Carlotta. So Lena is a free agent, and she’s already got herself a dude who looks vaguely like Lance Armstrong. According to People, they had sushi and then went to the pot dispensary. What a time to be alive! (Shouldn’t you get high BEFORE dinner?)

Lena Dunham at the 75th Annual Golden Globe Awards HBO After Party held at the Circa 55 Restaurant at The Beverly Hilton in Beverly Hills

Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News.

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49 Responses to “Lena Dunham has a new ‘mystery boyfriend’ & they get high together”

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  1. Kitty says:

    I smoke weed everyday and I’ve never bitten anybody

    • BengalCat2000 says:

      Lol, same!

    • Neelyo says:

      Ditto. Unless Gummy Bears count.

    • whatWHAT? says:

      yeah, pot smokers are almost never biters. I say almost because, though I’VE never met one, I can’t say for sure they don’t exist.

      but I’d bet a biter was on coke, meth, or ecstasy.

      • Kitty says:

        When my sister was in high school, she got in a fight with another girl over her boyfriend(my sisters boyfriend), and the other girl bit her. My sis had to get a tetanus shot and stitches, it was awful. The girl was not on drugs. I’ve done coke and ecstasy, some other drugs too, never bit anybody. But I’ve never done the crazy stuff, like meth.

      • Kitten says:

        Bath salts.

    • Lizzie says:

      word. the only thing i’ve bitten high was a wendy’s classic single.

    • Trying Again says:

      @kitty. hahahahaha. But you aren’t Lena.

  2. Runcmc says:

    The full photo shows she’s definitely still serious about her commitment to unflattering clothes. Yikes.

    I’d say she paid a friend to do the “ooo does she have a new man??” pap stroll but then I realized how unfair that is. Whatever maybe she has a new man. Hope they’re happy and he takes her shopping for a new shirt.

    • Domino says:

      I mean, I am irritated by Lena Dunham. However, so many things to hate on her for besides non-flattering clothes. Like Paz Vega looked a hot mess and turns out she was raped by Weinstein and probably suffering ptsd.

      I don’t know why I feel weird about this, probably because I think I also would let myself wear ‘unflattering’ clothes after having a total hysterectomy, no chance at biological kids and breaking up with my boyfriend of 6 years?

      • Girl_ninja says:

        Yeah, but Lena always wears unflattering clothes and oft looks awful so…

      • Jussie says:

        But she’s always gone around looking like this, it’s not a change that’s due to recent events.

        It’s like she actually makes an effort to look bad. Despite how they look on her, her casual clothes are usually very expensive designer items, so it’s not like she’s opting out of fashion and wearing Walmart stuff. She is putting some thought in, but that thought seems to be ‘how can I look as bad as possible’.

      • KBB says:

        Paz De La Huerta was raped by Harvey, not Paz Vega (at least not to my knowledge, who knows with that creep.)

      • Domino says:

        Thanks KBB you are right, I mixed up my actresses named Paz.

      • Olive says:

        @Domino but you’re not in the public eye and I assume do not strive to be? We are only complaining about her ill-fitting, unflattering clothes because she’s a wealthy celebrity who constantly puts herself out there in the public eye. Not just in these pap photos, she dresses like this to work events all the time. She should want to do better. She can afford a stylist and new wardrobe.

        this is just how hipsters dress. I was in art school and all the hipsters dress like that – just sloppy, unflattering, dated, ugly clothes (none of them were overweight either so I’m not using these terms in a loaded sense). and it’s ALWAYS the ones who come from money dressed like that too – looking like shit driving a new audi from mom and dad. JUST LIKE LENA. she is a stereotype.

      • Ada says:

        @Olive Am genuinely curious: why should someone wish to conform to your standard of attractive dress? Why is necessary to be this judgmental, even of someone in the public eye? It’s one thing to discuss fashion and aesthetics from a subjective point of view, but “do better” and “ugly” seems to imply that there is an objective hierarchy and this seems intuitively wrong to me. As you yourself suggest there is a whole subculture – or however you want to call it – that dress in the same way as Lena, so clearly others see value in the style.

    • Danielle says:

      I couldn’t stop staring at the pictures and the outfit. I felt a little bad about being so shallow, but why would anyone wear THAT for a pap stroll. The grandma style, the bad hair, the flaunting of th muffin top. I mean, I guess she just likes people to stare, she doesn’t care why?

    • Millennial says:

      Her clothes aren’t any worse than what a lot of the women wear to the grocery store (including myself).

      There’s a lot to complain about with Lena, but the word “unflattering” always makes me uncomfortable because historically it’s a word used to shame (mostly) overweight women into ensuring their clothes make their body seem more socially acceptable. Same with the comment down thread about her muffin top. Just no.

      • Ada says:

        Wholeheartedly agree with everything you wrote, Millennial! I mean, it’s one thing to think that something is unflattering and another to write/say something about it, because it perpetuates this kind of shaming (and shame). Also, I really dislike this “she looks ugly on purpose just to mess with us” idea. Sometimes people’s notion of what is interesting, even pretty, differs – newsflash! And besides, I don’t think Lena would look out of place if I saw her on the street, but hyper-styled pap walks have skewed our perception of what people actually look like.

        @Danielle “flaunting of the muffin top” – ugh, really?

      • OriginalLala says:

        There was a campaign a few years ago on Insta, #FuckFlattering, to confront all the weight of what the term “flattering” means for women’s fashion ie: slimming, lengthening, etc featuring short women in horizontal stripes, larger women in teeny bikinis. It was my first forray into body positivity and I thought it was awesome!

      • Willow says:

        Sorry, but being overweight does not excuse people from being sloppy and putting on clothes that are at least two sizes too small. It has nothing to do with getting dressed up or looking glamorous.

        There is nothing body positive about trying to squeeze into a size 10 when you know are a 14 or 16. In fact, it is the opposite.

      • gatorbait says:

        Did you look at her full outfit? This isn’t a case of wearing what one wants and not caring if it is the best style for you. She’s a millionaire wearing pants that do not fit at all. There is no excuse. She does it on purpose. I’m fat and manage to not have my muffin top showing and I’m poor. She can manage to do the same. She wants people to talk about her so she can be a martyr.

      • Krill says:


        Then just dont talk about how she looks if you think she is trolling you. Why do you guys let yourself be played if you think its a game.

        Anyway, there are a lot of women with body dismorphic issues. They think they are larger than they actually are and others think they are smaller than they are. She may be someone who is sure she is a size A and in some clothes is but in others isnt. Who knows? And why do any of us care, if her private bits are covered?

      • Domino says:

        Yeah millennial pretty much covered what I was trying to say, inarticulately. Thanks.

      • Ada says:

        Gatorbait and Willow – nobody above tried to ‘excuse’ what she is wearing. People do not need to defend their clothing choices, especially not when walking down the street. You both seem to have very strict ideas about what is ok or not, which is precisely what the new body positivity movement is – mostly – attempting to critique, moving away from the ‘big can be beautiful’ idea that is still predicated on normative standards of beauty.

        Who genuinely cares if she wears slightly small clothing? I think you both need to examine what precisely irks you so much about seeing someone’s skin and flesh and whether or not those reasons make it worthwhile to both hold on to that annoyance and put it out in the world.

    • Danielle says:

      I think it’s the deliberateness of the unflattering clothes. It’s not like she’s in comfortable sweats. I do think she does it on purpose. Which is interesting.

  3. Neelyo says:

    I can’t say I blame him.

    She’s just so clingy in that photo.

  4. It’sJustBlanche says:

    Unrelated, that’s a wig, right?

    • kate says:

      It sure looks like it. Some have speculated that she is wearing a wig or extensions to make it seem like she’s gone dark for longer than she actually has, after the “I’m going to defend my rapist friend and insult his victim, a black woman who was a teen at the time” debacle. I half believe it.

    • Lizzie says:

      yes. her real hair is a bigger disaster than malibu.

  5. Mia4s says:

    The body language in those photos is…telling. “Look! Look! I’m with someone new too!!! Looook!!!!” Yikes.

    • Ankhel says:

      His body language… “Help! I was only out for some milk, and this woman who smells like cats grabbed me in a choke hold! She’s hissing I need to pretend to be her date… this will show her ex!? Help!!!”

  6. NoShame says:

    Lena. Just. Stop.

    The way she hangs onto him. She’s clearly waaaay more into it than he is.

    It’s sad to see a successful woman feel the need to be validated this way in 2018. And then she has the nerve to call herself a feminist. This is not the kind of feminism I envisioned when I was growing up.

  7. grabbyhands says:


    That very awkward photo screams “HEY! Look at this new guy is totally my boyfriend!! I just love him! It just looks like he’s trying to twist out of my stranglehold”.

    I want to feel bad for her, but she’s such an assh*le, I can’t.

  8. Patricia says:

    She is soooo exhausting. Who hangs on someone like that?! The neediness, the clinginess, the extra ness of it all!

  9. Chaine says:

    He looks like the poor man’s Orlando Bloom to me.

  10. Jay says:

    You might get high after dinner if you’re using it as an anxiety reducing sleep aid. Plus that way you’re asleep for the munchies LOL

  11. Sullivan says:

    The bad reference could have been about the Stormy person.

  12. Digital Unicorn says:

    Her style is deliberate, it’s part of her victim with insecurities on display narrative. Hee clothes don’t bother me but the hair and bad make up do. If she got a decent style or cut it would do wonders, same goes for the makeup as she seems to subscribe to the Katie Keen school of eye makeup.

  13. Nicole says:

    I doubt she was anywhere near Beyonce. They don’t run in the same circle at all. Don’t think the tweet is about that.
    Also that body language is cringe.

  14. Beatrix says:

    I call that the “Taylor Swift” arm around the boyfriend. Hence, fake, forced.

  15. wowza says:

    He’s cute!

    Something about the breakup with Jack and him going straight into the arms of a beautiful model made me feel for her in a “everybody hurts, even problematic attention hoes” way.

  16. Pho sho says:

    Poor dude’s in a brutal head lock. Get Out!

  17. CatFoodJunkie says:

    Seems pretty obvious to me that the tweet was about the Stormy Daniels interview. Sunday night (AC interview), NDAs. What’s weird tho is that her phrasing makes it sound sarcastic .. like she’s hating on the fact that Stormy broke her NDA. Vis a Vis the pants — i never understood why people want to squish themselves into too-tight pants. I see it everywhere, diff people, diff social situations… their choice, i guess, but geez — seems super uncomfortable.

  18. Billionbb says:

    It bothers me people continue to report on Lena and have COMPLETELY forgotten her heinous words that she never apologized for to Aurora.

    But sure, let’s chat about her mystery man! Seriously, ppl still keeping her famous after that is disgusting

  19. Wendy says:

    I find that if I am already hungry and going to eat that getting high suddenly makes me not hungry anymore.
    I like to wait until after I eat cause I find it can help make me feel not so painfully full, if I happen to eat too much or something.
    But if Im not hungry and I want to be then I’ll get high to get an appetite