Pour one out, Sharknado is ending after its sixth sequel airs this summer

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Syfy giveth and Syfy taketh away. It was announced Wednesday that the Sharknado franchise is coming to an end. After five puntastic interpretations of just how destructive a cyclone full of blood-thirsty sea creatures can be, the franchise has declared Sharknado 6 will be their last. *SPOILERS for Sharknado: Global Storming* Since almost everyone except Ian Ziering’s Fin is, well, dead and the world is destroyed – you might be asking yourself, “that’ll be kind of a short movie, right?” Wrong. If you were paying attention at the end of 5, you might have picked up on the answer because they spelled it out for the audience specifically: the sharknado becomes a time machine!

What? How? Buckle up because here it is – Fin’s once-dead-but-not-really-dead son Gil turned a sharknado into a time machine. Gil is also older than Fin when he tells him this because – sharknado time machine, duh! That last part isn’t too important except that Older Gil is played by Dolph Lungren and Dolph Lungren casting is always important. So Fin will use this very convenient time machine to go back to the first sharknado and stop it. It’s brilliant. Going back in time will mean Tara Reid’s April will still be alive, Cassie Scerbo’s Nova will be alive – everyone is still alive. Even Vivica A. Fox from S2 is returning to slingshot a few more bombs. I’m slightly concerned with preventing the first sharknado, though. Like, what’s going to decapitate people walking down the street? Is Fin going to reach out to the sharks, help them find their way home? Thus, human and shark will co-exist peacefully, becoming a worldwide beacon for solving differences with kindness. Nah – sh*t’s getting destroyed.

So until the time that Sharknado is dusted off for its reboot as happens to all franchises, there is only one left and it will be out this summer. And since there is only one more to go, you know everyone who’s anyone is on the horn to their agent currently trying to get a cameo.

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Photo credit: Twitter and WENN Photos

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10 Responses to “Pour one out, Sharknado is ending after its sixth sequel airs this summer”

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  1. Shotcaller says:
    March 30, 2018 at 7:01 am

    Hecate ftw!! Laughed. So. Hard.

  2. lightpurple says:
    March 30, 2018 at 7:06 am

    I will carry on with my Sharknado tradition and miss this. Wouldn’t want to break the streak.

  3. Leviathan says:
    March 30, 2018 at 7:07 am

    I’ll wait for the live musical.

  4. H says:
    March 30, 2018 at 9:42 am

    I will have my drinks ready. I stopped watching at Sharknado 3, will have to find 4 and 5 now.

  5. gatorbait says:
    March 30, 2018 at 10:23 am

    I may have to watch this mess but I’ll need to watch 2-5. I am wayyyyyyyy behind. I wish you’d write more of the articles Hectate, you’re style is perfection!

  6. No Doubtful says:
    March 30, 2018 at 12:26 pm

    I’ve never seen any of them. What is the big draw? Is it actually good or is it so bad that people can’t look away? I’m happy that Ian found some success post-90210 though. He is one who was least likely to succeed and he’s probably done the best out of all of them!

  7. CharlotteCharlotte says:
    March 30, 2018 at 11:36 pm

    EVERY time we go to my dad’s house, a Sharknado movie is on the TV. And I force him and The Man to watch with me.
    Actually, one time it was a movie about zombie sharks.