Meghan Markle has chosen her wedding flowers: peonies, foxgloves & roses

2018 Commonwealth Day service

There are so many strange things about being royal, and how people treat royal figures, so I know this is a weird thing to get stuck on, but how weird is it that royal women always receive flowers wherever they go? They can barely step outside their palace door without someone handing them a bouquet. I’ll admit, it always makes for a nice photo – a princess or a duchess carrying flowers always “pops” – but I can’t help but think about how wasteful it all is. I mean, it’s not like that duchess is going to take the flowers home and put them in water and set them at the kitchen table, right? So where do all of the gifts of bouquets go? Anyway, I was thinking a lot about royalty and flowers as I read that Meghan Markle has selected the flowers for her wedding. Peonies, white garden roses, foxgloves.

The royal wedding will take place among white garden roses, peonies and foxgloves, set off by branches of beech, birch and hornbeam. Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have chosen a self-taught London floral designer for their nuptials. The couple said Sunday that Philippa Craddock will create the church flower arrangements for the May 19 wedding at St. George’s Chapel in Windsor.

Her team will include florists from the chapel and from Buckingham Palace for the displays in the chapel and at St. George’s Hall. The Royal Parks will also supply some plants taken from wildflower meadows. Kensington Palace said the designs will reflect the wild, natural landscapes from which many of the plants will be drawn. The flowers will be given to charities after the wedding.

[From Page Six]

“The flowers will be given to charities after the wedding.” Which means that guests are probably going to be encouraged to NOT steal centerpieces as they leave! Which is what I would have done – “it’s a shame to let these flowers go to waste, I’m just going to jack this massive floral arrangement!” As for Meg’s flower choices – I looked up foxgloves because I thought those flowers were something else entirely. Foxgloves are not very cute? They look like bells. Peonies are gorgeous though.

Also: there are lots of reports about how much the royal wedding is going to cost overall. The figures are all over the place, mostly because of what’s actually being counted. Like, yes, there will be a lot of security costs, but the costs would be even more if they married in London. The area is much more contained at Windsor. The estimates for dress, food, flowers and drinks comes in at about $1.4 million by most estimates but again, keep in mind that the costs are going to be split a lot of different ways. Meghan is paying for some stuff, Charles is paying for some stuff and the Queen is paying for some stuff. And yes, taxpayers are paying for much of it. You can see a breakdown here.

Harry Meghan Northern Ireland

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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122 Responses to “Meghan Markle has chosen her wedding flowers: peonies, foxgloves & roses”

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  1. Ib says:

    Sigh, I was hoping for anemones

    • Ib says:

      Or sweet pea.

    • IndifferentCat says:

      Anemones aren’t in season in May. Foxgloves are gorgeous and probably won’t be in her bouquet. They will look amazing in the rest of the flowers though. Standard flowers choice, nothing particularly exciting. As a fellow London florist, we were all hoping for something a bit different.

    • Carmen says:

      Me too. Anemones are my favorite flower.

  2. minx says:

    “it’s a shame to let these flowers go to waste, I’m just going to jack this massive floral arrangement!” –Dying.

    I had to look up foxgloves, too–not what I would expect for a bridal bouquet.

    • spidee!! says:

      Given that the Latin name is digitalis and that foxgloves are poisonous they seem a rather strange flower to choose, if indeed they have been.

      Coincidentally, I have just planted some in my garden today!

      • Charlie says:

        I love the look of Foxglove. BUT, Foxglove can be dangerous. Digitalis can stop your heart! I’ve never been to a wedding reception where the children weren’t all about playing with the flowers (and plenty of the adults too). I really question this choice.

      • magnoliarose says:

        I don’t believe it is coincidence spidee.
        Who you beefin’ with? lol
        They are lovely in a garden. They look nice in a wild looking country garden and I am sure yours will be beautiful. The best part of spring are the blooms.
        If anyone has ever been to Portland Oregon when it blooms it is incredible. All of that rain pays off in the end.

    • bluhare says:

      I didn’t see that it was chosen for her bouquet. It could well be in the church rather than her bouquet.

  3. Jane says:

    No lily of the valley 🙁

  4. Skylark says:

    Foxgloves, particularly the white ones, are gorgeous.

    • Kathleen Penland says:

      I agree! I think they’re beautiful and I knew exactly what they are.

    • TheSageM says:

      They are a staple in every English cottage garden.

    • M4lificent says:

      I love roses and peonies, but they are both round in shape and busy-looking with lots of petals — the simple shape of the foxglove can offset that so the arrangements don’t look too busy. And they can be used to add height to larger arrangements and to give them a more sprawling, natural look.

      I’m more into flowers than dresses — so I’m excited by these choices. I’m also hoping for some color too — maybe even a few blush roses and peonies — I get tired of the tasteful all-white arrangements.

  5. Kristen says:

    Aren’t foxgloves poisonous?

    • Betsy says:

      I don’t think she’s going to eat her bouquet, although that would add to the Meghan the rule breaker myth.

      • Really says:

        😅😅

      • Merritt says:

        The bigger concern is young children eating them. Hopefully they will keep them out of reach and give the kids the other flowers.

      • Cynical Ann says:

        @Merritt, I’m sure babies aren’t going to be crawling around eating the floral arrangements, so it will be fine. Kids generally don’t bite into flowers past the age of 2.

      • M4lificent says:

        Half of any garden is poisonous — including lily-of-the-valley. So if that were a criterion — brides would only be able to decorate with fake flowers.

      • Erinn says:

        Man, I don’t know. I grew up IN the garden, and I never felt obliged to eat a flower. Fox gloves at my great aunts (next door) and in my aunts giant gardens. Flowers weren’t for eating and I wasn’t shoving them in my mouth while people laughed and recorded it for views or anything.

        I get that kids can slip away, and kids aren’t all the same – but I really don’t think eating flowers is THAT big of a concern. They grow wild throughout the UK and I don’t think there’s a huge issue with kids eating them. I also grew up with Clematis, Hydrangea, Azalea, Daffodils, Lily of the Valley, Calla Lily, etc. They’re all toxic in some shape or form to people/animals.

      • Betsy says:

        @Erinn – yeah, I know my kids.

    • joanne says:

      the medicine digoxin is a used for the heart. it is from the foxglove plant, digitalis which can be poisonous.

    • Maddy says:

      @Merritt, Or, you know, the parents could watch their children at a wedding and make sure they don’t eat the floral arrangements :/

      Foxgloves are beautiful flowers and I love that she’s obviously going with what she likes rather than strictly traditional.

      • Merritt says:

        Even the best parents lose sight of their kids in crowded spaces.

      • Megan says:

        Do kids eat flowers? I’ve never seen one do that.

      • Argonaut says:

        @Mandy seriously, what’s up with all this concern trolling here about the poisonous flowers? i’m sure they’re fine. they only have practically every resource in the world to keep the kids from the flowers.

    • spidee!! says:

      See my post above!

  6. Lis says:

    From Wikipedia for ‘Foxglove’: “This biennial plant is often grown as an ornamental plant due to its vivid flowers which range in colour from various purple tints through pink, light gray, and purely white.”

    I never heard of Foxglove before so had to look them up. I do hope she chose white they would be gorgeous in a cascading bouquet!

  7. Rose says:

    Does anyone actually care about her flowers? I can’t imagine a more boring thing to think about ..

    • Bethany F says:

      your name is rose and you don’t realize that some people are really into flowers and plants? 🤔

    • minx says:

      I’m glad to read any tidbit about this wedding. Invitations, flowers, dresses…

    • HK9 says:

      Yes Rose i care about flowers! I’m slightly obsessed actually. I follow Preston Bailey & other florists on Instagram. I’m the bitch at COSTCO who actually buys the flowers so yes….I care about flowers a lot They add so much to a wedding.

      • delphi says:

        Costco, Trader Joe’s, the farmer’s market, my own garden…I must be surrounded by flowers at all times. My house is never without SOME kind of fresh flower. I get made fun of for my frivolity, but damn it…I’d rather have nature’s beauty in my home than another flipping candle.

        I love her choices. I’m fed to the gills with another all-rose bouquet…in 4 of the 5 weddings I’ve attended in the last year, the bridal bouquet was nothing but plain roses with the plain satin ribbon wrap. No texture, no nothing. Man, throw some english ivy tendrils, or asparagus fern, or even hellebore in with the choices Meghan has made and she’d have flower arrangement champion status for the ages.

      • magnoliarose says:

        I understand I love flowers too.
        They make me happy and brighten rooms, but I have to be careful with cats because some are poisonous.

    • Gardenia says:

      How sad for you. Flowers are enchanting. I love that she chose peonies, they’re gorgeous. Lily of the valley would be a great choice, but Kate Middleton’s bouquet was lily of the valley and Meghan probably wants to do something different.

      • CactusWren says:

        Apropos username! My bouquet had palm leaves and gardenias. It was so lovely and the flowers somehow survived the heat of a 106 degree Arizona day!

      • bluhare says:

        White lilac. White lilac with peonies and roses would be beautiful. And it also is lovely and smelly. And, I believe, in season?

    • Cynical Ann says:

      Yes. I have the blackest of black thumbs and kill everything I touch, but I love looking at flowers and gardens. I fell down the black hole of looking at this florist’s work and her stuff is gorgeous. I also love clothing and design. I personally find science boring. But everybody is different.

    • Truthie says:

      I care about the flowers in equal measure to her dress and the chapel. It does not/should not impact the marriage and it is all equally superficial if you get right down to it. But then my father (and oldest brother) have horticulture degrees from a good uni and I grew up with 5 acres of greenhouses. I love love love the garden look and I think most brides have bouquets that are sorely lacking and forgettable. Curious how this one plays out.

  8. heh says:

    I LOVE peonies!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • spidee!! says:

      You can have the one lurking under my spirea, I dig it up every year and it just keeps coming back!

    • bluhare says:

      Me too. They are one of my favorites. Much prefer them over roses.

  9. Helen Smith says:

    I don’t know why the public give flowers. I guess it is for a similar reason a theater actress is given flowers on opening night. I was in Russia and the singer for a classical music concert or a ballerina was brought flowers by children in the audience whose parents had bought flowers before the show for their children to give her. I’m sure there is a cultural element that I don’t know.

    • Alexandria says:

      Prolly for the boring reason that flowers are less controversial than gifts, animals or food.

    • minx says:

      I think it’s just a thoughtful gesture. My daughter performed in plays and band concerts in high school and we would bring her flowers at her final performances.
      It’s like bringing flowers to a hostess or sending them to mark an occasion–a little bit of beauty, you know?

      • imqrious2 says:

        We brought flowers for my nephew’s opening and closing nights’ performances when he was in his high school plays. Other parents brought flowers for their kids, too. It’s just a custom, I guess; and I have to say, I love seeing the joy on the kids’ faces as they accept them.

    • bluhare says:

      I go to our local community theater performances, and (usually) family almost always brings flowers on opening night especially.

  10. Merritt says:

    Foxglove, interesting choice. they need to make sure the kids don’t play with them or put them in their mouths they way toddlers can do sometimes because ingesting it can case liver damage. There is a cardiac medication that is derived from foxglove called digoxin. It is not used as much anymore because there are better medications and digoxin toxicity is a serious side effect.

  11. Kathleen Penland says:

    I love foxgloves and I knew exactly what they are. They’re a common garden flower in Western North Carolina. I think they’re unexpected in a royal floral arrangement which makes me like the choice even more.

  12. Betsy says:

    I love foxgloves but I haven’t grown them; I can see my occasionally obstreperous children eating them.

    Peonies man. That’s the flower.

    • Skylark says:

      Creamy white peonies would be stunning with white foxglove. Maybe with a peachy rose?

      I have both white and purple foxgloves in my garden. Bees love them!

    • Spikey says:

      FYI: Foxgloves are very useful plants for insects, especially bees. They provide pollen and nectar from April to May, are absolutely easy to grow (for untalented gardeners like myself ;)) and they’re cheap. Don’t be afraid to plant some.

      @ Skylark I whole heartedly agree.

      • Lis says:

        peonies are perfection at a wedding

      • Betsy says:

        I totally have a black thumb in the garden. But I am putting in my first flower bed in this house with easy things like zinnias and nasturtiums. I’ll put in foxgloves once my kids are a little more reliable about that kind of thing. Fingers crossed!

      • Lady D says:

        Two years ago I found seeds for giant sunflowers. I planted a bunch and they grew 12 feet tall.They were super easy to grow, and it was amazing how tall they got! I took about 500 seeds and scattered them along both sides of the river close to me. I hope they helped some birds and bees, not just the mice.

    • L84Tea says:

      I looooove peonies. I designed my wedding bouquet to be all white (roses, peonies, gardenias, and stephanotis) with pops of green apple blossoms. Somewhere a mistake was made and my bouquet showed up with pink peonies instead of white. It was the best mistake ever because they looks so beautiful with the other white flowers and the green apple blossoms. Pink peonies are now my favorite flower.

      • graymatters says:

        You had such a great attitude! I hope you’ve been happier than any bridezilla, too.

      • L84Tea says:

        Thank you @graymatters! I’ll be married 10 years on May 17th–happily married with two little loud midgets! As for the flowers, it just wasn’t a big deal because they were still beautiful and the color still worked (my bridesmaids carried pink roses so I’m guessing that was possibly somehow what caused the gaffe in the colors?) The only thing we cared about that day was that everyone had a great time and that the food was good. Best day ever!

  13. FLORC says:

    I love this. And each flower has meaning.
    That there donated is great too. I’m sure someone will dry or freeze or somehow preserve them and auction off for the causes.

    Centerpieces… love them. 1 wedding had those huge clear vases and beta fish with bamboo. Tricky getting home, but that fish lived for 3 years:)

    • notasugarhere says:

      FLORC, did you hijack the fish or were you given permission to take it home and give it a better life? I do like the image of you kidnapping the fish centerpieces to give them better lives!

      • FLORC says:

        Nota
        That’s a great question… the answer is… I took it assuming it could be taken.
        Nothing as noble as your image! It looked cool and the vase was really interesting in the design. Pier 1. It did have a great life!

    • magnoliarose says:

      I stayed in a hotel where they would bring you a fish in a bowl with flowers. I was uncomfortable with it until I found out the fish were well cared for and treated humanely. I had visions of fish being flushed when they didn’t want to be bothered. They had someone who cared for them. Yes, I am THAT person, but living things aren’t props.

      @nota I like the way you think. Fishnapping should be a thing.

  14. Lela says:

    This isn’t a criticism on Harry and Meg because I know Charles and Diana’s wedding probably cost taxpayers a fortune as did Will and Kate’s wedding, but holly crap when you see these figures and that taxpayers are fronting a huge bulk of the cash it just makes me scream “off with their heads!” Monarchies should just be cut off from tax funds, they have enough wealth as is and should pay for whatever they want out of their own pockets.
    As a side note what happens if the people revolt and overthrow the monarchy? What happens to all the land, jewels wealth etc?

    • LAK says:

      The royals keep their personal wealth in whatever form it takes, and the rest is given back to the govt.

      Of course in more violent overthrow of monarchy ears, the royals forfeited everything and the govt kept it all -see Russia.

      • notasugarhere says:

        Some more than others definitely, but seconding the fact that some royals do have private wealth that has not come from crown or taxpayers.

        Diana’s divorce settlement took all of Charles’s private funds, with nothing coming from The Duchy because he doesn’t own it personally.

      • magnoliarose says:

        Doesn’t HM have a load of personal wealth hidden away unseen and unaccounted for like most wealthy people? I know she has real estate in New York. Prime too.

      • notasugarhere says:

        Kentucky horse farm too.

      • jetlagged says:

        This probably isn’t everything – but this is a nice little summary of the largest/most valuable holdings, some belonging to the crown, some privately held.
        http://www.businessinsider.com/how-much-of-the-uk-does-the-queen-own-2017-6

        I also ran across an article that mentioned the Duchys of Lancaster and Cornwall investing in companies that are based in notorious tax havens – Bermuda and the Caymans.

      • LAK says:

        Jetlagged: As wealthy as HM is, it’s incredibly irritating when articles like that do not make a clear line between what is her personal property and state property. All of what she holds in trust is held as a private entity, BUT it doesn’t belongs to her. Many reports on her wealth or the wealth of the crown frequently blur the lines and end up with high estimates of her wealth because of those blurred lines.

    • Addie says:

      It’s hard to justify taxpayer funds used in what is essentially a private, family wedding ie not a State occasion. Quite a leap from the modest affair originally announced. It’s totally understandable that taxpayers are angry with security costs when public health services (among others) are heavily squeezed due to austerity ideology.

      In this case, adding the carriage ride and a 2600-strong cheering squad contributes mightily to already large security bills, as does extra police are deployed just in case. Given the public mood, extreme levels of inequality in the UK and in the name of fairness and common sense, the RF could and should pick up security costs for AT LEAST the carriage ride and 2600 outside audience. Security can be seen in two tiers here: (1) that which is always provided, and (2) extra aka non-essential elements added by the BRF. The latter costs should be borne by the BRF. Other costs for the wedding should be paid for by the families/individuals concerned, with no public subsidy whatsoever. Sadly, the public will be none the wiser if public money is used or the amount given the refusal by the BRF to be transparent with funds supplied. To be clear, Jack and Eugenie should also be held to account in exactly the same way when their time comes. The public has better things to fund.

      • Elizabeth says:

        Amen. Especially when you hear about the dire straits of the National Health Service and the wave of doctor suicides, it just all seems so gross. That said, not my government, and I admit I’m excited to watch the wedding! 😛

  15. Snap Happy says:

    I liked the trees that were brought in for will and Kate’s wedding. I thought I read that Kate thought of doing that. Is that true?

    • LAK says:

      I liked the trees, but i hated their use because they obscured the beauty of the building. Westminster didn’t need improving.

    • imqrious2 says:

      I read that as well. The aisle, lined with the trees, looked beautiful!

    • jetlagged says:

      I remember the tv commentators saying Charles was responsible for the floral design at Westminster. Of course, it was an ungodly hour in the US and I may have been hallucinating due to sleep deprivation.

    • Addie says:

      The Abbey is beautiful in its own right; the trees obscured it somewhat.

      I like the choice of flowers chosen by Meghan and Harry. It suggests a more ethereal, less formal feel which I hope that is the case.

  16. Surely Wolfbeak says:

    Kudos to Kaiser for the bottom picture of her holding a supermarket bouquet wrapped in cellophane with the price tag still on and a plastic bag at the bottom, so it doesn’t drip (also known as my wedding bouquet).

  17. Nicole says:

    Peonies are gorgeous

  18. sus says:

    A question for someone more knowledgable about British royalty than me: When it says that Charles pays or the Queen pays, isn’t it really the tax payers too then who are really paying? In maybe a roundabout way.

    • Clare says:

      Yes, pretty much. Even their ‘private’ wealth is from assets inherited and/or owned by the ‘crown’. While at the same time tax payers pay for renovations to their homes, palaces etc. It’s insane that while the NHS is crumbling and they are talking about potentially increasing taxes, we are also paying for another wedding – directly and indirectly. Madness.

      • sus says:

        Thanks for answering!

      • notasugarhere says:

        They do have private wealth that isn’t from the taxpayers and has never been owned by the crown or the people. How that has been handled, and the tax breaks they’ve been given on that private wealth are completely different issues.

      • Shotcaller says:

        Everything they own came from the masses.

      • magnoliarose says:

        They have private wealth, and a lot of it is hidden from public view. Their private wealth is actually unknown. I don’t believe it all originates from taxpayers at this point because I think it comes from different sources. HM has real estate in New York and around the country. For some reason, I believe someone told me she is a silent partner or an unnamed investor that isn’t public knowledge for the most part.
        Perhaps LAK or nota or one of the CB royal experts know.

      • Addie says:

        What Clare said. She’s 100% right. The BRF is notoriously tight with their ‘own’ money when they can dip into the public purse at will. Yes, it is utter madness to indulge these very ordinary people can call them ‘royal’. Such a silly piece of nonsense in the 21st century.

      • notasugarhere says:

        No, she’s not right. They do have private wealth that doesn’t come from taxpayers. Accrued the same way aristocrats did in the early years, through inheritance and marriages to those with money. The Dutch royals are an example of those with loads of private wealth.

  19. OriginalLala says:

    Meghan used to post alot of photos of peonies on her Insta – I think they are her fave flower. Peonies are kind of the basic rich girl flower these days, or so my florist-to-the-stars friend tells me

    • Betsy says:

      They are, but it doesn’t dim their beauty!

    • Truthie says:

      Historically they were a common flower, but by that I mean 1900s to 1960s. The open field behind my house was called Peony Field because peonies were a crop grown there. We are talking many acres not under glass. The family road I would walk to get to my dad’s greenhouses was “Peony Field Road.” I think of them as very common, especially as it was in half the yards around the neighborhood growing up. Seriously, just walk any neighborhood and you could have an instant bouquet. For me the problem with peonies is that ants can really love peonies. I would love to see heather and ranunculus included, maybe oncidiums and the odd cypripedium. (check google images) That would be awesome sauce.

      • Betsy says:

        I love peonies but am hesitant to grow them since they only bloom for a few weeks and then they’re just a shrub (I don’t know if the tree type peonies grow in my zone).

      • Truthie says:

        They can bloom a month easy and if you get different heirloom types you could manage a 2 month or longer window. I find the bushes attractive. You know what other flower would go with a garden-type aesthetic is delphinium. The deep blue is rather grand.

    • magnoliarose says:

      Yeah, they are, but they are such an easy flower. I like some exotic flowers, but they aren’t suitable for weddings unless someone is doing something unconventional in different settings.
      All this flower talk is making my day, especially for Spring. 🙂

  20. LAK says:

    Flowers / toys received at these engagements are usually sent to the local hospital after royal leaves.

  21. Other Renee says:

    $70k for a CAKE???

    I would never plant anything that could be poisonous to an animal.

    • Lady D says:

      No kidding.

    • Dally says:

      Lol, I’d have a barren garden if I did that, the only plants that will survive the wildlife are herbs and poisonous plants. Animals tend to know what not to eat though, and kids can be taught pretty young.

    • magnoliarose says:

      Most wild animals have an instinct about plants. It is the domesticated ones that can be a problem. Nature is brimming with poisonous plants and fungi, but the animals know to stay away. My crazy kitten wouldn’t know though and probably attack and eat it.
      When we go visit my husband’s cousins with the horse farm, and we ride the trails the horses like to graze a little, but I have seen them skip over some things. The barn cats, rescues that aren’t suited for indoor homes, never seem to have issues and they have a garden.
      There are so many other things I worry about with animals, and it is human beings and what we do.

      • Truthie says:

        Magnoliarose is right, the problem is more in theory than in real life. Both wild and domestic animals ignore the plants. And if we go by that rule we would have to cease and desist with all our plastic everythings because the plastic in the oceans are ruining things over there.

  22. Ankhel says:

    In the language of flowers, this is what you get from a boquet of white roses, peonies and foxgloves:

    Purity, Happy Marriage, and Insincerity.

    There’s a reason why some flowers are more common at weddings than others, heheh.

    • LAK says:

      I was looking for that translation then i got distracted.

      Oops on the Foxgloves. May be she’ll make it up with the greenery.

    • Skylark says:

      I wouldn’t say ‘oops’ necessarily. The Foxglove has both hurt and heal properties. Which I think is rather thoughtful as a choice, if it was chosen for that reason since marriage can be a long haul load of hurt and heal!

      But who knows, Meghan may just love the look of foxgloves and thought ‘I’m having some of them in my bouquet’ with no thought whatsoever to their symbolism!

    • Deedee says:

      I also found a site that says foxgloves symbolize stateliness and youth. I think some people are reaching for the negative with everything Meghan does.

    • LAK says:

      Ankhel / Magnoliarose : The flowers are merely speculation, but even having fun with speculation makes us ha8ers.

      I adore the Victorian language of flowers, but it wasn’t an exact science ie depending on the source, one may find different meanings. The fact that we both found a site that attributes insincerity to Fox Gloves doesn’t mean some other Victorian didn’t give them a different meaning because they often did.

      Then you’ve got other civilisations and eras rebranding or giving entirely different meanings to the same plant based on an entirely different set of values eg their ability to heal or a particular belief system.

      The Victorians tended to give meanings to flowers for superficial reasons. One doesn’t have to accept their branding, but can take it in the spirit of fun.

  23. CairinaCat says:

    To the people bitching about the foxglove..
    Most flowers that get used in weddings are toxic. I had beautiful stargazer Lily’s in mine :toxic
    Tons of flowers and plants are toxic. Tons

    If people can keep kids from eating the neighbors hedge, I am sure they can keep their kids from eating the bridal bouquet and the centerpieces

  24. Tanya says:

    Sure, foxgloves (like most flowers) are poisonous, but it’s not like they’re handing out posies. They’re centerpieces. If your child is crawling in the middle of a table or at the alter during a royal wedding, you’re maybe not doing it right. (And I say this as the parent of 3 kids, one of whom ran around with a bare bottom, laughing with glee as fast as her chunky little legs could carry her while I desperately tried to catch her at her aunt’s wedding).