Paris Hilton announces Christina Aguilera’s pregnancy

Paris Hilton has the sensitivity of a gnat. Though that’s pretty insulting to gnats. It’s hard to tell if she’s just a moron or if she was being a passive-aggressive bitch, but she announced to a big crowd at LAX this weekend that Christina Aguilera was pregnant, even though Aguilera has yet to announce this herself – and it’s obviously her news to give, not some random, talentless twit’s.

“Paris Hilton got on the microphone at a packed Las Vegas nightclub and lavished Christina Aguilera with praise – and in the process revealed a celebrity secret.

“‘Congratulations to the most beautiful pregnant woman in the world. You’re gorgeous,’ Hilton announced at about 2 a.m. Sunday at an Aguilera-hosted party at LAX Nightclub in the Luxor.

“Aguilera, who has never confirmed being pregnant despite a visible bump beneath her pink chiffon mini-dress, appeared temporarily shocked as she sat in her perch in the elevated VIP booth. She sank her head into the shoulder of husband Jordan Bratman as her friends looked stunned.

“But she quickly recovered, and the two looked at each other and laughed as the crowd – which included Adrien Grenier, Melanie Brown, Criss Angel and cast members from The Hills – erupted in applause. (Aguilera’s rep declined to comment).

“Hilton’s surprise announcement, coming after she earlier put her hand on Aguilera’s stomach and the pair giggled, was the highlight of the LAX party, one of many rocking Las Vegas on the weekend of the MTV Video Music Awards.”

[From People]

For about a million reasons, I’d like to find Paris Hilton alone in a dark alley. That sounds oddly sexual. I mean that in the “I’d like to beat you up and knock the two IQ points you have left out of your head” way. I’m sure Christina Aguilera didn’t want her pregnancy announced by the likes of Paris Hilton. That’s what high-paid exclusive interviews with In Touch are for. I can’t imagine why she’s waited so long to make the announcement, since she’s been showing for a while now. It sounds like Christina was pretty gracious about it. I would have found a beer bottle to toss at the microphone.

It also sounds like that was a dig at supposed “best friend” Nicole Richie, who is also pregnant. Publicly (and needlessly) calling someone else “‘most beautiful pregnant woman in the world,’” sounds like old-school catty, bitchy Paris at her best. She didn’t say “one of” the most beautiful or just that Christina looked great or any number of other ways that could have been phrased. Something tells me Paris’s name isn’t on the short list of possible godmothers for Richie’s upcoming bundle of joy.

Paris is shown at the VMAs last night.

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