Anthony Hopkins is estranged from his only child, has ‘no idea’ if he has grandchildren

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Anthony Hopkins is such an odd bird. I realize he must have had a lousy childhood and young-adulthood in Wales and beyond, but it sometimes feels like he just blacked out all associations with Great Britain at some point. He’s an American citizen now, and he lives full-time in California. Several years back, he claimed he was close to retirement, but he still works pretty often, sometimes on really weird projects. “Weird” as in “dude, are you poor?” projects with Michael Bay. We don’t know his life – maybe he is putting away some money so his family will be taken care of. Except that when he left Britain, he barely looked back, even when it was about his daughter Abigail. Hopkins recently spoke about how little he knows of his only child (who is now an adult):

Sir Anthony Hopkins, 80, has not spoken to daughter Abigail – his only child – for two decades. Such is their estrangement that he does not even know if he is a grandfather. Sir Anthony said he ‘didn’t care’ about the family split, admitting that he was ‘cold’ about his 48-year-old daughter, who uses the name Abigail Harrison. Asked if Miss Harrison – an actress and theatre director who changed her surname so that she could have a ‘career on her own terms’ – had children, Sir Anthony said: ‘I don’t have any idea. People break up. Families split and, you know, “get on with your life”. People make choices. I don’t care one way or the other. It is cold. Because life is cold.’

Miss Harrison was brought up by her mother, Sir Anthony’s first wife Petronella Barker, after the couple divorced when she was four. The pair briefly reconnected in the 1990s and she appeared in two of his films, Shadowlands and The Remains Of The Day. However, they quickly became estranged again and Sir Anthony, who stars in the BBC adaptation of King Lear to be shown next week, claimed he does not even know where his daughter lives.

As with Shakespeare’s tragedy, ‘children don’t like their fathers, you don’t have to love each other’, he told Radio Times.

[From The Daily Mail]

It sounds cold and HE sounds very cold, but I sort of wonder… do you think he’s making some kind of reference to the estrangement being his daughter’s choice? “Children don’t like their fathers…” meaning that Abigail made the choice to cut him out of her life? Maybe I’m being too nice to Hopkins, though. I can’t say I blame Abigail for cutting him out of her life if he was barely there in the first place, and if he really doesn’t give a f–k about whether his ONLY biological child is a mother herself, then I can’t say I blame her for cutting him out of her life, if that’s what happened.

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69 Responses to “Anthony Hopkins is estranged from his only child, has ‘no idea’ if he has grandchildren”

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  1. Lala says:

    That’s a horrible and inhumane stance…and reflective of someone who’s life has been SO SELF-CENTERED…that NOTHING matters but him…and I am someone who has ADORED Sir Hopkins for 40 years of my 50 year life…He needs to do better with his child before he leaves this earth…or have enough common sense to NOT put this mess out for public consumption….

    • Birdix says:

      I have a dad like this. No way at this point any attempt to do better would have any resonance—so much of a relationship is the day to day choice to care, the grand gesture feels hollow. Totally agree that it should stay private though.

      • still_sarah says:

        @ Birdix : My father was of that generation in Britain – grew up in the Depression, horrible emotional abuse from his mother, his father was an alcoholic, he fought in World War II and saw his friends die but grew up never talking about any of it. My dad never talked about bad stuff or how he felt about it – i’m not sure he even knew how. I think Hopkins is probably the same.

    • Sabrine says:

      He does not have autism. He has aspergers syndrome. It has been decades since he’s seen his daughter and there would be no point in forcing a relationship at this point. People say oh no, they should reconcile but that’s not always a good idea. Perhaps the daughter is much better off. Calling him a jerk, cold, uncaring, revolting, etc. without knowing the cause is unfair….perhaps it was due to the aspergers and his years of alcoholism. These things tear families apart and since we do not know what went on, it is unfair to judge at face value.

      • oh-Dear says:

        DSM-V now classifies all people on the spectrum as being Autistic, then includes the spectrum reference (mild, high functioning, severe, etc) dropping ‘Asperger’s Syndrome’, so he would be referred as having Autism.

      • tcbc says:

        He walked out on his daughter when she was four years old. I am comfortable calling him much worse than “jerk.”

      • Milla says:

        Im with Sabrine. Sometimes you can fix relationships, but its been so long, they are strangers now. They share blood and nothing else. It was his choice but she is an adult now and her life shouldn’t be disturbed.

  2. LAK says:

    It’s not an excuse, but he has Autism, quite severe apparently. I think that’s why he can’t make or maintain connections.

    He has no friends or family, he is on his 3rd wife, and when he describes his relationships in general, he sounds detached and cold.

    ETA: Not suggesting that Autistic people can’t make or maintain connections, but in his case it seems to be a factor.

    • Lahdidahbaby says:

      Interesting! I’dnever heard that. Now he makes sense.

      • Meggles says:

        My dad had Aspergers, and he was incredibly loving. He had certain issues showing his love in perhaps more traditional ways and in some ways he could be difficult, but he was consistently supportive of me throughout his life. In many ways more of a consistent loving parent than my NT mother.

        With the exception of the most severe forms of autism (ie to the point where people can’t care for themselves) people who are neurodivergent are just the same as anyone else, perhaps with added difficulties, but fundamentally life is about challenges and choices. AH can manage his life and his professional relationships well enough to become a huge movie star; he could have conducted his relationship with the same dedication if he’d so chosen.

      • Chaine says:

        Well said @Meggles.

    • minx says:

      Didn’t know that, it explains a lot.

    • Amelie says:

      Wikipedia says he has Asperger’s which while on the autism spectrum, is not quite the same as autism. They are often very high functioning but have trouble forming relationships. But no two people with Asperger’s are quite the same. Anthony Hopkins may very well have Asperger’s/autism but he almost comes across as a psychopath here to me.

      There was a kid at my college I remember who had Asperger’s (he made some kind of speech about it at a diversity conference I think the video is somewhere on Youtube which is how I knew). I felt bad for him because he was always alone and I could tell he struggled but he was very odd. He would randomly talk to himself as he walked about, which unsurprisingly really freaked people out.

      I’ve always suspected my cousin may have Asperger’s too. He speaks in a monotone, has trouble maintaining eye contact, and becomes obsessed with very specific topics (in my cousin’s case that would be computers, operating systems, the nitty gritty of how a computer is put together). He’ll go on talking about the intricacies of which operating systems are better while my eyes glaze over without realizing I am not at all interested because he has a hard time with social cues. That being said, he doesn’t lack empathy and he is engaged now and happy so it’s great to see him doing well when he struggled a lot (especially in college when he was very severely depressed). But I always warn my friends who come into contact with him in social settings that his behavior might come across as odd but I am so used to it, that I don’t find it strange.

      • still_sarah says:

        My friend’s son has Asperger’s Syndrome and while I think he likes me, his mother has told me that he finds the presence of other people in the home to be a very anxiety provoking thing. He will just retreat to his room and not come out (he is almost 30 years old).

    • mint says:

      Yes, it was said that he has Aspergers Syndrom

    • MrsBanjo says:

      You’re absolutely blaming it on autism. Autistic people are perfectly able to make connections and have meaningful relationships. By saying his autism is the reason for his behaviour, instead of him just likely being a dick, you’re perpetuating one of the worst and most dangerous stereotypes about autistic people. It’s gross.

      • kNY says:

        ITA. He’s a jerk.

      • Khadija says:

        Very true. Autism does not make people behave like this – it’s not a personality trait.

      • Ada says:

        Totally agree that we can’t draw a direct link between syndrome and behavior. But I also wonder if it’s helpful to keep in mind, not to excuse but to explain, at least in part? We always need to make moral choices and be responsible for them, but the ways our brains are wired differently might make some of those choices more challenging. It seems likely that Hopkins did not get the support growing up that would be necessary for someone with AS, and I’m sure he’s developed some unhealthy coping mechanisms as a result.

        To take a low-stakes example: I have ADD and always forget things. To someone who does not struggle with this remembering a friend’s birthday might be about how much you care for that friend. For me it’s more dependent on how overwhelmed I am at that particular time, even if I care deeply. To a neurotypical person I might come off as a jerk if I don’t send greetings. Finally, someone else with ADD might be able to develop compensatory strategies, which would take a longer time for me to implement because I had childhood traumas unrelated to the disorder, which complicates things. Sorry for long ramble.

      • Llamas in pajamas says:

        Also the symptoms is girls and women are different. For example, they usually form and maintain social relationships with people. Probably because girls are being raised and socialized differently. Meaning, Mr Hopkins could, if he wanted to. But he doesn’t care, so.

    • Khadija says:

      He has Asperger’s Syndrome, not severe autism (autism itself is classified in levels, with the more severe cases classified as Level 3). They are both “on the spectrum”, as some say, but not the same – for example someone with severe autism would struggle terribly with becoming an actor and may need 24 hour care and supervision, yet there are several actors who have Asperger’s including Hopkins and also Paddy Considine. My family has members with both autism and Asperger’s and the difference between the conditions is pronounced.

    • K-Peace says:

      I myself have Asperger’s Syndrome (high-functioning autism)–the same thing Hopkins has. It does not make you a cold, “unfeeling ” jerk. His Asperger’s diagnosis does not at all explain his horrible uncaring stance toward his child. While my autism does make it harder for me to form new relationships with people, I am extremely close to my family and have very loving relationships with them.

      • ChillyWilly says:

        Very well said. It’s not that Hopkins is estranged from his child that upsets me, it’s the fact that it does not bother him or cause him any sadness or pain. That is not Aspergers. That is sociopath level stuff.

      • Carrie1 says:

        Oh for all the talk of mental health supports and not judging people, things like this really pull the lid off human beings.

        We don’t know why they are estranged. His reference to children not liking their fathers could be his way of dealing with it. He could be hurt. We don’t know what happened. He also comes from a time and culture where men expressing emotions was not done publicly.

        For all that, how many times have people said your family is not always your bio family. We just witnessed what Meghan Markle endured and we haven’t learned from it?

        He’s happy. I assume his daughter is happy. And they are simply not family. It’s painful to be around people who treat you poorly. We don’t know enough about this and it’s not our place to judge.

    • Ally says:

      I don’t think LAK is trying to perpetuate stereotypes. Many, many (most? I truly don’t know) people with autism or Asperger’s make and maintain deep personal connections. But autism is a range of behaviors that aren’t easily defined, and for some people — including a couple I know very well — autism makes forming human connections difficult. Perhaps they would have been this way without autism? It’s impossible to say. Their difficulties in this regard were part of their autism diagnosis.

    • LAK says:

      For those people who understood the point i was making which included a sentence that was clear that i wasn’t ascribing his behaviour to everyone with autism, thank you.

      For those who jumped down my throat because reading comprehension is beyond them, get off my lawn!!!

    • Prim says:

      It might be wise to tread carefully when you use the phrase “Severe Autism”.

      As the mother of a child with ASD who is non-verbal, has no sense of danger and will probably never be able to dress himself or have any level of independence, I tend to have quite a specific idea of what “Severe Autism” means. Even though I have a clear idea of what “Severe” means, that doesn’t mean that there’s general agreement.

      Things recently became more confusing as Aspergers is no longer given as a diagnosis. Everyone, wherever they fall on the spectrum, is now referred to as having Autism.

      The Neurodiversity movement is very clear that Autism is a neurological difference, not a disability. That’s a view that isn’t always shared by parents of children who are non-verbal and have no level of independence, so the community is somewhat split and having one term for many disparate ways of thinking/behaving is not helping!

    • elimaeby says:

      I’m on the spectrum, and those who don’t know me well find me to be extremely cold. I wouldn’t be shocked if this is the case with him if he is, in fact, on the spectrum.

  3. French Girl says:

    During many years,he was alcoholic.
    I remember an interview where he said he was not made to be a father and he had no regret to leave GB and it was the best decision in his life

    • Sunny says:

      Yes, he is a recovered alcoholic, who managed to be sober for a long, long time.

    • Tommy says:

      I’ve read interviews with Abigail where she talks about how she’s never gotten over the trauma of her childhood relationship —or lack thereof —with him and how horrible he was to her mother, especially when he was drinking. I think she legit tried to forge some kind of relationship with him after she became an adult, but basically it was like trying to love a wall. I feel so sorry for her, it must be incredibly frustrating and hurtful.

      • Jag says:

        I read elsewhere that they had a huge fight when she was around 16, and that things have been strained ever since. No idea what happened, though.

    • MI6 says:

      @ Joannie – recovery is a personal and private matter founded on anonymity. Your “friend” divulging the identity and details about someone in program is heinous and a violation of that privacy.

      • Songbird says:

        Thank you, MI6. This needed to be said.

      • me says:

        That’s absolutely correct, @MI6. I live in LA and I can’t count the number of times someone will say blithely in conversation “Oh, he’s /she’s in the program”. It’s AA! It has Anonymous in the title. Details shared in meetings should go nowhere. And it’s always disheartening to hear gossip through members of the program. I shut it down. @ Joannie

  4. Lisa Giametti says:

    I am not going to judge anyone for being estranged from a family member and having a hard, cold, stance on it. We do not know her or him so the complexities of their relationship is anyone’s guess.

    • greenmonster says:

      I agree. Families can be tough. We don’t even know if she has a problem with them not havin any kind of relationship.

    • AlmaMartyr says:

      I agree. There’s an estrangement in my family, and it is such a complex situation, with years of pain and misunderstandings wrapped up in it. Even those most involved don’t know all the details of what has happened, or why it has turned out like this. The way it’s talked about by some members of the family does sound cold and dispassionate but that’s a mask for the very real and private hurt felt by those closest to the situation.

    • Chaine says:

      Exactly.

    • Megan says:

      I haven’t spoken to my father since my parents divorced nearly two decades ago. He made a few very weak overtures when he realized I wasn’t intending to maintain a relationship with him, but I suspect his attitude towards me is much like Hopkins.

  5. tracking says:

    I find his comments revolting. His poor daughter, I can only imagine how it must have affected her life to have such a cold, uncaring father. That kind of damage takes a lifetime to heal.

  6. Sparkly says:

    Aw, this really disappoints me. He does sound so uncaring about it all. Not cool.

  7. Sunny says:

    It sounds cold and well he sounds like a lousy father. Yet it doesn’t make him a lesser actor.
    A lot of good or great actors have not spectacular family records and relationships.

    Basically, unless there is some kind of Klaus Kinski situation (where one of his daughters accused him of raping her since she was 9 and the other daughter supported her half-sister, and they cut ties with him), I’m not going to act shocked about Hopkins and his daughter’s relationships) .

    • Yup says:

      Doubtful, reports say he was barely in her life at all. They met as adults.

      • Sunny says:

        Yeah, by all means I’m not trying to insinuate that Hopkins did anything like the things Kinski was accused of. I’m just pointing out that such not-perfect family dynamics like Hopkins has with his daughter is not a rarity among famous and talented actors (and not only actors tbh) and they do not shock me.

        I mean, for example, the much hailed Laurence Olivier began an affair with Vivien Leigh while he was still married to another actress and she was pregnant with his child, and Leigh was also married and had her own child from her husband. And Olivier abandoned his wife and child in the end and Leigh did the same to her hubby and child. It doesn’t make them a great example of morality, but does it make them less talented actors? Nah, I don’t think so.

      • Olive says:

        @Yup no, they did not meet as adults. The DM share a photo of him posing with her as a child, so may have barely been in her life growing up but he saw her enough to pose for photos together

  8. Shijel says:

    I do find it cold, but then when I compare my own growing up, and brief life experience to it, I’m not shocked or scandalised. Some people can’t understand or imagine how someone can be so cold towards their family, their own blood. I can. Been on the receiving end of it, and i don’t intend to continue my family line because I know that I will not be able to break through this emotional disconnect I feel about relationships and familial ties, and I’m not about to become a mother on a big fat ‘maybe’.

    I reserve my judgement. Estrangement can be a good thing, because sometimes the alternative is so, so much worse. And I for one don’t mind that this particular situation’s discussed in public. Makes me feel like I’m not the only ‘freak’ who lacks ‘warmth’ and ‘humanity’ and ‘soul’ in the world. Except, you know, I am so not going to have children because it’d be irresponsible.

    • Carrie1 says:

      Well, right there with you Shijel. I explicitly didn’t want kids either as I also feel the family Line needs to end. And due to how nieces and nephews turned out, I wasn’t wrong. After a lifetime of trying to fix them – often demanded of me – and heal myself, and support all of my family, it got so bad I finally realized my safety was always compromised. I ran and haven’t regretted it.

      Some of us, I do believe, as a spiritual matter or whatever, are meant to be on our own path and if it’s a healthy and safer or at least healing path, that’s right to me and it’s fine. And the rest of our family has their own path to walk too and that is their issue alone.

      You’re not a freak.

  9. Anastasia says:

    I understand there are probably many factors at play here, but without knowing them all, his comments come off as incredibly cold.

  10. lucy2 says:

    I’m guessing the estrangement is the daughter’s choice, and by the sounds of this, the right one.

    • Tommy says:

      From what I’ve read, it was her choice. After suffering a breakdown over it she finally realized she was never going to have any kind of bond or relationship with him, accepted it, and moved on. I think she finally twigged to the realization that his lack of love for her had nothing to do with her or any perceived shortcomings on her part. He just wasn’t capable of feeling anything for her.

      • lucy2 says:

        That had to be really difficult. I hope she’s found happiness and has good friends and other family in her life.

        What would be nice would be him simply saying “I don’t discuss my private life/family life publicly” because now everyone is speculating about this woman’s life, and she didn’t ask for any of that.

  11. Arpeggi says:

    It sounds cold, but it’s difficult to judge. Families issues are never simple.

    It used to be expected that people would get married and have children but the truth is, some just aren’t made for that. It’s quite possible that Hopkins learned that too late and he is not the only one in this situation.

  12. Happy21 says:

    Sounds like she’s better off without him in her life.

  13. lunchcoma says:

    I don’t know why he got into it. I realize he was asked, but she’s not a huge celebrity and people weren’t clamoring to know. He could have said, “No comment,” and given her some more privacy.

    • Carrie1 says:

      He’s old. If it’s true he used to be alcoholic, that’s another factor as it impairs brain function.
      Eg. (Drinking) Johnny Depp poor decision making; (age) Queen Elizabeth spontaneously shouting “Cows!” And pointing

      I have compassion for him. And for his daughter.

      • lunchcoma says:

        Ah, that’s an interesting point. Though this does seem like something his people could handle for him. No one’s really clamoring to hear about his daughter, and I think journalists wouldn’t have a problem agreeing to keep her off the question list if they were asked.

        This question may have come out of left field, though. I didn’t even know he had a child, so it’s possible no one else bothers to ask.

      • Carrie1 says:

        Yeah and I’ve just read the newer comments added below. I didn’t know any of this about him. It’s a shame for his daughter and ex. I’d be afraid of him now after reading the latest.

  14. Hannah says:

    I’m estranged from my father. And it would not be fair to place all the blame on him. We just don’t like each other. We both have our own “families” now. A woman wrote an amazing article for the Guardian about how her and her mother didn’t love each other. It always stuck with me.

    His words do sound cold because they are cold. But as someone living it, it’s really not a bad situation if both of you are done.

  15. TyrantDestroyed says:

    If I were able to hear him, I bet he sounds just like my father walking from my half brother and me during our infancy (I was 9 months) except that Hopkins sounds more caring and empathic.

  16. MrsPanda says:

    I think he’s a sociopath, he describes himself as having ”no empathy for others and feeling empty inside”. His aspergers just makes him that rare, honest sociopath who tells you who he really is. I think he has both diagnoses (I say from my armchair of course). Sociopaths are more common than you’d think (over 1 percent of the population) and can be high functioning. He was also an abusive alcoholic and incredibly nasty to his first wife, his daughter witnessed this and was suicidal by age 18. He did them a favour by leaving and his daughter did herself a huge favour by cutting him off. He’s clearly incapable of being a father and in these instances I’m always completely on the side of the child. She’s spoken about it in the past and said she had the suicidal period and a short drug addiction but has done very well to get her life on track as much as is possible after that early (bad) start. His recent comments prove she did the right thing and I really wish her well.

    • jwoolman says:

      Sociopaths are not necessarily too dangerous – most of them are law-abiding if only because they figured out early that their own freedom was at stake. But some things are missing or underdeveloped in their brains.

      We don’t know everything about how our brains work, but the seat of empathy seems to be in the amygdala, for example. Experiments have been done showing someone photos of other people in distress while monitoring electrical activity in the brain, and the normal brain lights up in that area. Sociopaths show very little or no activity in that area under the same conditions. They can learn to mimic the signs of empathy sometimes, but they can’t actually feel it.

      I suspect damage or underdevelopment of the amygdala is part of Donald Trump’s problem, for instance. He shows no empathy at all with anybody, and not just in recent years. He showed disturbing signs as a young child and as he grew. Parents in his neighborhood warned their children to stay away from him because he was known to physically bully smaller children. He was lobbing rocks at the toddler next door when he was five or six. That really is not normal.

      Usually empathy starts developing in toddlers, I think, so it has to be learned even with all equipment intact. Early intervention when it doesn’t can actually help, which means we might be able to test for and correct sociopathic traits if we figure out how to do it while the brain is still developing and flexible.

  17. Rescue Cat says:

    I never knew my dad. When I tracked him down and phoned him he said he was surprised to hear from me because he and my mum went to the doctor to arrange an abortion but were told there’d be medical complications if she went through with it.
    What do you do with that?

  18. Here's Wilson says:

    I was estranged from my father from 13 til he passed when i was 38…. long story short I was let with lingering abandonment issues and find it difficult to this day to maintain relationships with anyone family and friends included… although when it comes to my child I try harder bc i dont want to hurt her..i wonder if his past is in any way reflective of mine and if thats in part reason for his or relationship with his child

  19. Elle UK says:

    I read in a comment section, a girl said her friend worked at his acting agency…
    She claimed firstly that her friend is absolutely physically beautiful. Every time Anthony Hopkins came to the office, he would deliberately reduce this beautiful girl to tears. He would berate, humiliate & shout at her..
    I was prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt about his daughter, family dynamics can be difficult to decipher, but then I read this comment & I am sorely disappointed….
    Some people are very strange, they take great delight in wrong footing people, being nasty, because they know that person is a hostage…
    Had this girl at the agency had told him where to go, she’d have of been sacked, immediately… Imagine what kind of dad he would be?

  20. Brandy says:

    It’s insensitive to judge him for his words. We have absolutely no idea what that family situation was, and why he and his only child are estranged. Just because you were born into a situation doesn’t mean you have to endure it forever. There are so many reasons that children and parents decide to separate and no longer speak. Two decades seems shocking to those of you that have “normal” relationships with your parents and children – but to those of us that have struggled with abusive families – whether substance, verbal, emotional, or physical – we really understand the pain involved in deciding to cut family out for good. It’s painful. No one ever wants to be estranged from family. It happens because it has to happen.