Well, it happened. Amid some of the largest protests and demonstrations ever seen in London, Donald Trump arrived at Windsor Castle on Friday to meet the Queen. I have to give it to Theresa May – she actually planned out Trump’s visit rather brilliantly, and she managed to keep him away from the biggest protests. He’s such a giant baby, and she knew he would have thrown such a massive tantrum if he actually got to see some of the huge protests in Britain. Anyway, the Queen received Donald and Melania Trump at Windsor Castle, and she did her job well enough. I mean, I was shocked that she actually smiled at both of them, but as many of you have pointed out, she’s used to making small talk with despots and dictators. She’s been doing it all her life.
The problem seemed to be that no one had briefed the Trumps on what to do, so it was left up to the Queen to order them around. It was minorly shambolic and embarrassing (for America). In the video below, you can clearly see the Queen telling Melania that she needs to stay up on the dais/steps while the Queen and Emperor Bigly walked down to meet the Beefeaters. That’s when it all went sideways, as Trump twirled and walked ahead of the Queen (NO!) and she tried to tell him where he needed to go and he didn’t listen. It was a mess. If you want, skip ahead to about the 3:30 mark to see when it all starts to go wrong. For a brief moment, it was like the Queen was playing hide-and-seek behind his fat ass.
Emperor Fat Ass got the hell out of Windsor in a hurry, and flew to his golf course in Scotland, where he’s spending the weekend. On Monday, he’ll attend the all-important meeting with Vladimir Putin, his KGB/FSB handler. Because this lard butt has been compromised this whole time. Hilariously, Robert Mueller dropped indictments on twelve Russian agents for their work in hacking the DNC server, and for spearphishing Clinton campaign email accounts, which happened per Trump’s public instructions during a press conference. The breaking news about the indictments happened simultaneously to Trump’s visit with the Queen. America is the Calamity Jane of international politics at this point.
Photos courtesy of Getty.