Tiffany Haddish: ‘I done ran through 38 dudes, OK? Body count, yeah.’

tiffany glamour

Tiffany Haddish is a treasure and I won’t hear one word otherwise. Tiffany covers the September issue of Glamour, where she’s promoting That Dunkirk 2: Dunkirkier (I WISH). No, she’s promoting Nobody’s Fool and Night School, both of which are coming out in the next few months. Tiffany is a great interview, and you can just tell that she’s spent years in obscurity, reading other celebrities’ magazine profiles, and she knows what to give a magazine journalist to make her cover story “pop.” I’m not saying Tiffany is affected – she’s not, at all. But she’s a natural comedienne and a natural storyteller, and she enjoys these kinds of long-form pieces, where she can really have the space to tell stories. You can read the whole glorious piece here. Some highlights:

Playing a teacher in Night School: “I don’t mind being a teacher. I always say, ‘If this comedy thing doesn’t work out, I would probably be a sex education teacher.’ I would be the best sex education teacher. I guarantee none of my kids would have STDs after I finish teaching them.”

She dreamed this life for herself: “My opportunities are whatever I create. My thoughts from two years ago is what’s happening right now. I really think my thoughts are my magic wand.”

On Sanaa Lathan being the woman who bit Beyonce: “I didn’t confirm sh-t. The reporter was like, ‘Sanaa Lathan?’ I’m, like, three drinks in, so of course I was about to laugh. They thought I put her name out there, but I didn’t. I never said nothing. And Beyoncé didn’t say nothing. Let the person who [bit Beyoncé] bury themselves…. I ain’t trying to destroy this girl. I didn’t say sh-t about the girl.”

Whether Tyler Perry’s films perpetuate black stereotypes: “I just think that a person is ignorant when they say, ‘Oh, you’re being a stereotypical black person.’ Well, what’s that? Explain that to me, because that’s an actual person, and everybody deserves to see themselves onscreen. I feel like all facets deserve to be seen—from the doctors to the janitors to the baby mamas to the side chicks. It’s funny because people are like, ‘Oh, Tiffany Haddish is ratchet.’ No, I’m your typical chick from the hood. And as ratchet as I might talk, or people might think I carry myself, I am making a living portraying myself.”

Being raped by a police cadet at 17 years old. “That whole experience put me in such a messed-up place for a long time, and I ended up going to counseling,” she tells me, her voice breaking. She says she reported the incident at the time but still grapples with what justice would look like for her. “Me just yelling out people’s names with no thought behind it is pointless. I need a plan. I could be a voice, but what’s a voice going to do—just keep talking? Or is there action behind it?”

She’s semi-aggressive: “I notice that men are afraid of women that are aggressive. So to protect myself I become semi-aggressive. You hear about, ‘Tiffany always hitting on somebody,’ but that’s to keep them from hitting on me.”

Whether she’s dating anyone: “I don’t really have time. And I’ve had enough somebodies. I done ran through 38 dudes, OK? Body count, yeah. Mine is 38. Write it down. Let them know. I’ve had 38 experiences.”

She’s supporting her family: “I’m just glad I got some money now, because now I can do a better job at taking care of them. I got my mom out of the mental institution, like I said I would, in December, and I got her an apartment with my sister and a nurse that comes to her. I ain’t never said this out loud, but I want to be able to give every one of my siblings a million dollars to create whatever they want to do. That’s four million dollars that I don’t need.”

[From Glamour]

Name another woman who would tell Glamour Magazine her “number,” I dare you. Your number is for your closest girlfriends. Maybe you don’t even tell your number to the 39th guy you’re banging. You just lie and say “I don’t know, maybe… eight?” Just to see his reaction to that. The rest of it… she breaks my heart in one breath and in the next, I’m actually laughing out loud. She’s the best. And I love what she says about representation and how she’s out here, representing for-real ratchet girls.

This is hilarious too. If she was in Carrie’s Manolos, she would have gotten turnt at the reception and banged Mr. Big’s cousin. I LOVE HER.

Cover courtesy of Glamour.

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22 Responses to “Tiffany Haddish: ‘I done ran through 38 dudes, OK? Body count, yeah.’”

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  1. Nev says:

    so glad she made it happen for herself.

  2. stacey says:

    WHO IS THIS? I love her.

  3. Really says:

    I like what she said about her dreams 2 years ago is her reality now.

    Your inner voice/thoughts are so powerful.

  4. Renee2 says:

    They did her brows dirty with this cover but she looks super happy on it. I like her make-up in the video segment.

  5. Sayrah says:

    I love her!

  6. TheHufflepuffLizLemon says:

    😂I’m dying about her telling her number. Your number used to be such a bfd when I was in college and right after-is it still?

    • me says:

      What does “bfd” mean. I need to know.

    • Nancy says:

      @LizLemon: I was watching a rerun of Friends. Richard, Monica’s much older bf claimed his number was 2! His wife and Monica. Right. He asked her for her number and you could see her counting bodies in her head! Lol. To me, it’s not something you put out there unless you’re proud of your conquests or lack thereof!

    • Norman Bates' Mother says:

      In my part of Europe, you don’t even share it with your girlfriends and I didn’t want to share it with my boyfriend. I realized I am not as progressive as I thought I was when my boyfriend’s psycho ex-girlfriend informed me about his number and even though it’s still over 3 times lower than Tiffany’s, I almost broke up with him because I couldn’t stop thinking that he slept with more than 10 women before me. Seeing reactions here, I’m wondering if I was making too big of a deal about that. I think Americans (to generalize) are more open in this matter.

      • Sojaschnitzel says:

        Which part of europe is that? In my part (west germany) I dont feel like 10 is a high number. Quite the opposite even. I think her 38 is just fine and I am really happy that she put that out there. I personally don’t have a problem with sharing my number either.

  7. Nicegirl says:

    I love Tiffany!💋💕💋😘😍

  8. Miss Margo says:

    Oh my God. I love her so much. LOVE HER!!!

  9. Annika says:

    “I would’ve f_cked his cousin.”
    Hell yeah! 😂😂😂😂

  10. KP says:

    I LOVE THIS. My number is around that and I feel fine about it and with my closest friends it’s not a secret but it’s also not a flag I fly. I love that she’s keeping it real and normalizing normal sh*t.
    SPOT ON: “You just lie and say “I don’t know, maybe… eight?” Just to see his reaction to that.”

  11. AMA1977 says:

    OMG, I am dying, DYING at the “What Would Tiffany Do?” video. “BOY, if you put your feet on my couch ONE MORE TIME!!” The whole thing was hilarious. She never fails to make me laugh, and the joy with which she embraces her success is so uplifting. I just think you can’t help but root for someone who works so hard and isn’t afraid to tell anyone and everyone how great it is. And her Groupon commercials slay me, too. I love her!

  12. Lilly says:

    That video is the best. I have watched her Drunken History over and over (in which Busy Phillips was also fire), now it will be this one too. I’m going to have to try and put “then I would have f*cked his cousin” at the end of stories. As to her number, yay Tiffany. So many women, young women especially, are shamed and if this makes it less of a crime, which it ain’t, then wonderful.

  13. Shoochai says:

    I adore this woman!!!

  14. Yes Doubtful says:

    Night Shift looks great and there’s one other trailer I saw recently with Tiffany in it that looked good. My one concern is her schick will get old and she will be pigeon holed. This has happened with Melissa McCarthy…started off strong and now she only plays the same roles.