People Magazine has a new story about Ben Affleck’s sad state before his rehab stay. Kaiser floated the idea to me that this was the cover story before Senator John McCain passed and they rightfully gave him the cover. The narrative in this story is similar to previous reports that Ben reached out for help. They describe how he was in such a sad state that he was compliant and ready to go to treatment. Jen may have staged an intervention, but Ben supposedly prompted her to do that. There’s another People story, probably from the same print article, about Ben and Lindsay’s relationship and how it ended. I’m excerpting both below.
Ben’s condition before rehab
“Ben had been drinking alone for days,” a source tells PEOPLE in this week’s issue. “He was in bad shape. He had barely been eating and had not showered. It didn’t take much convincing. He wanted to go, and he cooperated.”Affleck entered rehab on Aug. 22 with a second source telling PEOPLE, “He knew he needed help and was vocal about it.”
“He’s battled addiction for a long time now,” says an Affleck source, noting the star had been “constantly working on himself” but after splitting with Lindsay Shookus in July “went into a darker and darker place until he had to reach out for help.”
On his relationship with Lindsay
“When it was good it was really really good. When they were in the same time zone and not focused on other things it was good,” the source says. “It became incredibly complicated with their families, with their jobs.”“He really liked her. He loved that she was smart, funny, opinionated,” the source adds. “When they were together it brought him a bit outside of his comfort zone. She brought a bit of fresh air into his life that he needed.”
After that People includes the quotes we’ve already heard about why Lindsay broke up with Ben, because he wasn’t getting better. Many of you think she broke up with him because he wasn’t proceeding with his divorce and/or decided to publicly date a 22 year-old to force Lindsay’s hand. Consider Ben’s state before his rehab stay and the fact that he scored a date with a 22 year-old Playboy model during that time.
Radar Online is reporting that Ben and Jen have been in family counseling with their kids in rehab. We do know that Jen visited Ben in rehab, so this is possible, but if so it’s a violation of patient confidentiality for someone to leak it to Radar. They also claim that Matt Damon has dumped Ben as a friend. They may be estranged, that happens sometimes, but I doubt they’re no longer friends. They have a production company together and they’ve been best friends since childhood. Maybe Matt and Ben aren’t as close now but they’ll probably make up and be best buds again once (if, let’s be realistic) Ben gets sober. There’s a lot of pressure on Ben to do that and all this publicity can’t be helping.
Photos credit: Backgrid
There’s nothing Hollywood loves more than a comeback story – particularly from a white guy like Affleck. He’ll be fine – he’ll always be fine.
He’ll be fine only if he can get sober, if not then he won’t be.
+1
IDK, Johnny Depp keeps getting work even though he is an addict and an a-hole.
As long as hes profitable. If he can hold it mildly together for small increments for film and promotion. Then he will be fine.
Frankly, I am kindof sick of his downward spirals and might not care that much if he gets sober. He has used and abused so many people, and left a trail of devastation in his wake. It may sound mean, but I am over it.
I feel the same way. He is getting so much support for his addiction which is fair. He needs that….but he is still a narcissist. He’s still selfish and immature. Those things are separate from his addiction.
He literally looks like he’s been drinking for days and not showering. I have always thought it must be absolute hell to hit the point in alcoholism where you wake up shaking and needing to just pour alcohol down your throat to start functioning for the day, and the rest of the day is a slide into a blackout from drinking, rinse and repeat the next day. Absolute hell and I feel for any person living with this.
I met him once and in person, sober, he is amazingly handsome. Like I could not believe that was actually Ben Affleck.
I guess that explains the attraction of all these women – Gwen, jlo, jen garner, shookus etc
Lucky Girl!!!❤
My one friend who actually lived in LA and worked in Hollywood while he was in his pre-superstardom prime, actually knew him as a friend, and never fails to describe him as one of the smartest, kindest, funniest men she’d ever met. She never went for actors, so it wasn’t a romantic thing, but she fiercely guards the memory of the 20-something, pre-Jennifers guy she knew. When pressed, she describes him as being physically beautiful, but his looks were nothing to his intelligence and generosity. The way she’s talked about him, when he was still hungry and indie, he was a guy most of us would have probably gotten along with. Some of us might have even adored him. I mean, we all know a person like this, right? Who was an icon who started to see themselves that way, and then fell to vices because they were kings and queens of their own making. How could the good times ever end when the good times become a bottle or a pill or a black jack table or a Playboy bunny?
For as much of an asshole as he seems, I think the path he chose tends to be incredibly destructive. I feel bad for him, and worse for his kids, who may never know what’s it’s like to have a dad who’s content inside his own skin.
Hence Jen’s exasperation clearly evident in the backhanded jack-in-the-box handoff photo.
That photo is everything
My mother use to give me that look, the look of her finally being broken because I yelled and cried for half a hour for some McDonald’s.
Kudos to Jen Garner for being decent enough to help her ex, even though I’m sure it was more for their kids.
If I were her I’d want to slap him upside his big, stinky head for putting me in such a situation knowing he was spiraling downhill because of another woman.
Ew. The desperation of the playboy chick to score a “star” that she’d stay overnight with an unshowered sloppy drunk. Geez.
I was thinking the same thing. You’d have to be really thirsty to tolerate that body odor. Yuck.
Yes to all the above. It must be embarrassing to her that everyone knows she went to bed with a man in that condition. He was filthy at their date at Nobu and he drove her to jack in the box in the same state. She seemed giddy though – now everyone knows she has no standards.
I don’t feel sorry for her though because she seems to be intent on broadcasting her promiscuous behavior for everyone to see. She has no shame
Mego and Meme, Lol, I was also trying to imagine being propositioned by a drunk and dirty Affleck. She clearly didn’t care what his condition was, but I think most people would have run the other way. Maybe not. How utterly embarrassing for her.
I still feel like a lot of this spin is Lindsay trying to clean up her reputation after this. Note the gushing about how “cool” she is. Barf.
Yes – totally agree. And where is she hiding? No pap shots in LA or NYC? Is she going to move out of that CPW expensive apartment?
That’s actually really sad to read, honestly. Addiction reduces us all to base animals, I suppose.
It’s sad to see someone fall apart like this, truly sad.
Ben is a talented director, he clearly is capable and even handsome when sober.
He has three healthy children and an ex-wife that is still looking after him, even with the shady stuff that he did over the several years.
I would say that he is pretty lucky, hopefully he can see it and sort himself out.
Garner gets a lot of heat on this site, but I always thought that she is kind woman with a good heart.
She seems to have grown up in a loving, well functioning home with both parents, so this might be very hard for her to deal with it, because Ben seems very messed up.
Lindsay should be ashamed of herself, drinking with Ben, a well known addict that went to rehab twice, she is a nice support system…
@ Barcelona :
I think that many people should apologize to Jennifer, she does seem like a genuinely good person.
She jumped in and helped her ex that put her through hell many times and sometimes humiliated her in public with his actions.
Jennifer has been called everything from dormat to codependent on this site, but I’m not surprised, some women are very hard on other women.
I don’t comment much on these stories because I don’t like the awful things people say about Jen. Jen strikes me as a good woman, and very kind. Too kind.
Jen reminds me a LOT of a friend of mine. She hides things too, not because she’s fake, but because she’s ashamed, and because of past abuse. She has some bad habits that she’s going to therapy for. My friend is not perfect but she’s a really kind person, an amazing mother, and a really good friend.
There is an entertainment tonight video from 2 days ago which chronicles Jen’s role in dealing with Ben’s addiction. It openly says she has been dealing with this for years – setting boundaries for him which were eventually broken and then starting all over again. I think she really does truly love him / she said it in the VF interview. She looks at him as a man with a disease- who she has tried to help get well for years. That everything he did to her when under the influence was the disease and not him. They say sober Ben is intelligent, charming. I do think she has finally moved on – but I think this explains a lot of her behavior and why people thought she appeared to be a doormat- because for years she did it quietly and it was not front page news.
Many call Jen codependent but I think anyone who holds an addict accountable isn’t. A codependent suuports the person in their addiction and their unhealthy behaviours, covering for them etc. My grandfather was a binge drinking fall down sloppy drunk whose alcoholism had a profound effect on our family. To this day I am uncomfortable around drunkeness and rarely consume alcohol. My dad is the same way. My grandmother was a true codependent who put up with it until he died.
I don’t know…when you read up on codependent people — Jennifer ticks off a lot of boxes…
I think Shookus was an enabler and Jennifer was codependent.
Codependent and enabling behaviors are pretty much intertwined. I do think Jen had many of the hallmark signs of a codependent, including a focus on caretaking and control. He’s been breaking those boundaries pretty much since they got together, so one could very easily question why she remained in the situation and having child after child. That said, I’m not blaming any of it on her. She made her choices for her own reasons. Lindsay may also have been unintentionally enabling him. My guess is that Ben told her he was fine if she drank socially around him, and she probably believed that. But she clearly should have known better, and my guess is that in recent months, she did know better. In any case, Ben Affleck’s issues really aren’t Jen’s fault or Lindsay’s fault.
I think Matt and Ben will always be friends.
They grew up together & have known each other forever!!! We all have stages in our life where sometimes friendships go in different directions due to life events, but eventually some of the better friendships will come back. Reports are that they were set to do McDonald’s movie before Ben relasped.
Like Jen, i am sure Matt knows how Ben has/ had struggled with his sobriety.
Matt is able to balance his family life with his Hollywood life, which Ben could not do.
Ben’s dad basically said the same when he was interviewed…..
He’s the father of her children and has a massive public profile. Getting a clean break from him wouldn’t be anywhere near as easy as it could be for people without the complications of celebrity. I can get why she feels like she has to be involved even after the separation.
All very sad, all details we did not need to know, and all very calculated for our sympathy. In Hollywood it’s never really about getting well, it’s about how does this “look”.
The Matt Damon situation is interesting. I remember a decade ago you’d see pictures of the families together, but not much after that from what I recall? I did not think much of it when Matt lived in NYC, but he’s lived in LA for years. I mean, could be a “tough love” situation, or maybe they just grew apart.
Probably a little of both, I’d think. It’s a lot easier to break a friendship if you don’t have to deal with the emotional fallout of a close proximity relationship. But Ben is an adult and makes his own choices, too, so there’s no blaming his friends and family for protecting their own interests at this point if necessary. As depressing as the details of his addiction are, he has far more resources to come to terms with it and recover than the vast majority of addicts out there.
I think they’ve remained close. We can still see evidence of this all the way up to Casey’s Oscar win. And we know Ben still went to Matt’s on Sundays for football in the past year, etc. The three of these guys are close in a way that people who become friends as adults often never get to. They might have periods of estrangement, but I don’t think that foundational bond will ever really go away. I think a lot of any perceived estrangement also has to do with some of the fallout for these three around #metoo – and not Ben’s addictions. And I’m sure that Matt’s wife may not be all that down for Matt hanging with Ben (and/or Casey) right now. But do I think the bro friendship is gone? Nah.
They did used to hang out as a families together, but photos of that kind of thing stopped years ago, well before Ben and Jen split in 2015. There were always rumors that Jen and Lucy weren’t great friends. My impression is that, in more recent years, the wives weren’t really part of the hangouts – it was more just Ben and Matt. I don’t think that’s abnormal – some friendships don’t have to involve the spouses.
I was wondering about Matt and the state of their friendship – Matt may have withdrawn in the hope that some tough love might wake Ben up.
I must be getting sentimental in my old age because I kinda feel bad for the playboy girl because she’s now everywhere as a symptom of his breakdown and she was probably super jazzed that she was dating Batman.
She’s a mere child at 22 who perhaps will learn from this experience. I really hate Playboy and that whole culture and wish women would not become their models.
@ Des
Well, she should not have been drinking with a famous person and a known alcoholic that has a well documented addiction problem and was in rehab twice.
Yes, she is only 22, but I never understand why people have alcohol around addicts.
Seems very cruel and thoughtless.
JLo must be feeling vindicated.
I remember when she was called the trashy one and that Ben deserved so much better!
right!! now she is this ageless health goddess ….that doesn’t drink. go JLO!!
Ageless…with a lot of help from laser and medical procedures.
Jennifer Lopez smokes and I doubt that she doesn’t drink alcohol.
Plus she also has a pretty interesting dating/marriage history to say the least, 3 divorces…
There is nothing trashy about being healthy and being into skin care. Lasers arent plastic surgery and arent a big deal in my opinion. I get hydra facials, Microderm abrasion, chemical peels etc as part of my own skin care routine and its not really a big deal. Its obvious Jlo is into skincare- her skin looks hydrated and well taken care of and there is no shame in skin care!! I suffer from melasma and do serious skin care procedures to help reduce my “mask” of sun spots. Sure its cosmetic but Lasers and peels are aggressive treatments with huge results.
Lasers etc are definitely not on the same level as procedures that require needles and scapels. Not even close. You can do this type of thing at a spa even.
Jlo has stated she abstains from alcohol. I always assumed it was from a health perspective, not moral.
As for her marriages – yikes maybe there will be a number 4
@ Mela :
Who said that JLo is trashy?????
By the way, lasers are not a small thing, they can do serious damage.
Nothing wrong that she takes good care of her skin, works out and eats organic clean diet.
It’s better than covering up someone’s ruined face from drinking, smoking, partying and eating badly with snow shovel worth of make up.
Whoever Matt’s people are, I am curious as to why Ben is not using them. Matty has had all his vices on lockdown for decades now.
Thoughts:
1) So Ben was driving drunk at Jack in the Box?
2) Matt Damon is no choir boy so it wouldn’t surprise me if he ditched Ben as dead weight.
3) Jen has been lowkey dealing with a LOT of sh*t for years and I really do think she was trying to do what’s best for her kids. I’m getting Denise Richards deja vu – she was trashed up and down when she split from Charlie Sheen, and then the truth came out.
1.) yes i think so. he looked lit
2) maybe Ben Affleck is a liability to Matt
3) I think Jen is in a tough position. I think people will have more respect for her once she officially divorces him and draws that line in the sand publicly. She needs to show she has self respect before people will respect her
Seriously? I think she has shown a great deal of respect for herself and her family. Who knows the reason for the delay in divorce? I highly doubt it is because she wants him back.
1. I wondered the same thing. He shouldn’t have been driving and that girl shouldn’t have got in the car with him.
I think Ben probably had been a “functioning alcoholic” for years. They are actually able to hold down jobs, maintain a household. They can hide their alcohol abuse for years. This can actually cause severe psychological & emotional damage to the alcoholic & his or her loved ones. I think eventually he was not in control anymore. Ironically, in an interview when talking about his dad, Ben called him “a real alcoholic.”
I hope Ben can get & remain sober. He has 3 beautiful children that would love to see their father healthy!!
I’m pulling for the guy.
Jen has started a press tour for Peppermint. Will journalists be respectful and let her talk about her movie and some light antics – like how she got lost kayaking in Sweden ircwill she be forced to answer questions aboutvBen and his sobriety.
He’s in a hard place and it’s a place I’ve been in. I literally tried to kill myself. It doesn’t make him an awful person and I’m glad he has people (or at least Jen) there for him; she’s a good woman. I’m pulling for both of them and their family. Some of the comments are unbelievably harsh and hurtful, and it was fearing judgments like those that kept me from getting help for as long as I did, and I’m not even famous. I just know how people think about other people with substance abuse issues, and here we are now today, nothing apparently has changed.
Matt will talk to Ben again only if he has a come back and wins an Oscar. Then, Matt will namecheck him in interviews and you know the rest…
The daily onslaught of information coming out about Ben Affleck is pretty amazing. It makes me wonder if his health is in dire condition and they are preparing the public for the possibility that he won’t survive his disease.
The daily onslaught of information coming out about Ben Affleck is pretty amazing. It makes me wonder if his health is in dire condition and they are preparing the public for the possibility that he won’t survive his disease.
How do they know Lindsey is the one who broke up the relationship??