I’m much too old to “cougar” on poor Shawn Mendes. He’s only 20 years old, barely out of his teen years, but he has an aura of wholesomeness that makes him seem even younger. He’s like that in his big Rolling Stone cover profile too – even though he’s being confessional about very adult subjects like drugs and ladies and gay rumors, he still has that wholesome-Canadian aura. It’s actually sort of refreshing, isn’t it? So many of the younger guys are dirtbags, and here’s a conventionally handsome nice guy who treats his fans well and isn’t falling out nightclubs. So, yes, even though I’m too old to cougar on this kid, I still like to look at him. Lordy, he’s cute. You can read the full Rolling Stone profile here. Some highlights:
He has no game with the ladies: “There’s definitely some cuties here,” Shawn says. Just don’t expect him to talk to them. “Dude, I have no game,” he adds. [His father] Manny says he was the same when he was younger, and suggests that the Mendes family’s good looks actually work against them in this regard. “There’s less we have to do because of the good hair,” Shawn agrees. “We’re already 10 steps ahead. But being good-looking doesn’t make you have game.”
He loves weed: “I love weed. I wouldn’t tweet that — not yet, at least — but it’s really good for me. When I’m home, I’ll smoke and then play guitar for seven hours.” (He also saw shrooms for sale in Amsterdam, but opted not to try them. “I want to so badly,” he says. “I think it would help me a lot.”)
On his thing with Hailey Baldwin: He acknowledges they were more than friends, but he’s still reluctant to call it a relationship: “I don’t even wanna put a title on it. I think it was more of a zone of limbo.” Just a month after their Met Gala date, Baldwin was engaged to Bieber, whom she’d dated before. She immediately unfollowed Mendes on Instagram, and to make things worse, Bieber appeared to take shots at Mendes on a Top 10 hit with DJ Khaled… Some on social media painted Mendes as a chump who got played by Baldwin, but he swears he’s not holding a grudge. “I get it, you know,” he tells me. “I texted Hailey, ‘Congratulations,’ and I really am happy for them. She’s still one of the f–king coolest people ever — she’s not just a beautiful person visually, but she’s one of the most beautiful hearts I’ve ever met.” It seems like he might be about to say something more about how it all went down, but he stops himself. “I think I’m an idiot to not, you know. . . . But you can’t control your heart.”
He negatively obsesses over his gay rumors, and he’s constantly paying attention to all of the gay speculation: “I’d like to say I don’t care about it, but that’s not true… This massive, massive thing for the last five years about me being gay. In the back of my heart, I feel like I need to go be seen with someone — like a girl — in public, to prove to people that I’m not gay. Even though in my heart I know that it’s not a bad thing. There’s still a piece of me that thinks that. And I hate that side of me.”
He was reading YouTube comments about himself: “I thought, ‘You f–king guys are so lucky I’m not actually gay and terrified of coming out.’ That’s something that kills people. That’s how sensitive it is. Do you like the songs? Do you like me? Who cares if I’m gay?”
A Taylor Swift story: [Taylor] Swift [texted] Mendes a cellphone video of them together, just to make sure he was cool with her posting it — a short clip of the night they were hanging out backstage at her Reputation tour and she put her glittery eye makeup on Mendes’ face, to his delight. He told her it was fine without thinking, but later that night, he woke up in a cold sweat. “I felt sick,” he said. “I was like, ‘F–k, why did I let her post that?’ I just fed the fire that I’m terrified of.” In the end, Mendes says, he’s happy about the side of himself shown in Swift’s backstage post. As a kid, he’d put glitter on his eyelids to make his parents laugh; he grew up with 15 female cousins, “braiding hair and painting nails. Maybe I am a little more feminine — but that’s the way it is. That’s why I am me.”
First, let me say this about the gay rumors: MIND YOUR BUSINESS. Maybe Shawn is gay and not ready to come out, and maybe he’s a straight guy who reads as “gay” or maybe it’s a million other options. Just let him live his life, peeps, and trust that he’ll figure it out. He has time. That being said, this interview made me worry about this poor child. It’s one thing to know intellectually that “of course there’s nothing wrong with being gay” and obsessing over how everyone thinks you’re gay. He even tells Rolling Stone that after he reads the comments and the online speculation about his mannerisms, he tries to change those mannerisms in an attempt to be less effeminate or whatever. Just be you, kid.
Cover courtesy of Rolling Stone, additional photo courtesy of WENN.
Why does anyone have to prove their sexuality to anyone?
Mind ya business folks
I’m 24 and have a massive crush on him. Is that creepy? I like that he’s open about all these topics, being so young and all. I just hope he’s okay, and that he continues to be okay. He doesn’t have to be Bieber 2.0.
You’re only four years older than him, why would that be creepy? I’m 10 years older, and I do feel like a maternal instinct towards him, as he does come across as so young. I think his interview shows how our homophobia is still ingrained in our society. He knows there’s nothing wrong with being gay, but he’s still fighting that perception because of what he was taught.
And he should be grateful he got rid of Hailey Baldwin, get a girl that doesn’t need your name to further her career.
Shame he seems super paranoid about it,he kind of reminds me of Ricky Martin and what he went through.
I feel sorry for him because people obsess so much about his mannerisms and behaviour, but on the other hand, as a gay woman, it really makes me roll my eyes that another privileged straight white boy thinks being gay is the worst thing that could happen.
I think he’s seems like a good egg though.
Sounds (to me, at least) like he’s pretty conflicted about things such as toxic masculinity and internalized homophobia. Apparently he was raised in a rather religious, conservative household. Not that it’s an excuse, but it makes sense.
There really are a lot of gay rumours around him though, and frankly I’m inclined to believe them. Pretty much every male celeb gets some ‘gay/bi or not’ speculation, but the ones that are consistently and often speculated about usually are.
If that’s the case, I do wish the charade would be dropped. I wish you didn’t have to appear to be straight in such high rungs of the entertainment industry, really, so I get it, if you have to choose between bearding and staying in the closet or your career. Especially since LGBT audiences are notoriously devoted to, and protective of ‘ours’ and spend a lot of money on our faves.
And if it’s not the case, well, there’s far worse things to be read as than a gay dude.
Maybe he doesn’t know what his sexuality it yet. Rupert Everett said he didn’t know until he was 26 (which kind of surprised me, but who am I to say when someone should know whether they’re straight or gay). Nonetheless, after reading his thoughts about Hailey Baldwin, I am inclined to think he might not be straight (although maybe I’m basing this off of a stereotype of how I think a guy generally talks about girls they were not actually in a relationship with. What do I know. To be fair, he’s only 20. Maybe this is how they sound when they talk about girls they were not in a relationship with).
I was surprised by his honesty about his conflicting feelings about how he’s perceived. Here he was outright admitting that he’s bothered by being perceived as effeminate. I don’t think I’ve seen a young male singer admit that he wishes he was perceived as more, well, masculine. Usually someone either goes all Tom Cruise on the public or, alternatively, most stars go with the PR-curated answer that they don’t care what people think. Here he sounded like a regular person discussing his feelings with a friend. He sounded…human.
“not’ speculation, but the ones that are consistently and often speculated about usually are.”
I disagree with this. Sometimes the rumors are true, but who keeps track of all the many, many rumors that don’t end up being true?
I’ve known a straight person who had these kinds of rumors surrounding them, and they weren’t true. There’s little you can do to disprove them, even getting married. I think his interview here shows how putting any kind of faith in these rumors can really harm the person they are about. I think we should allow people to define themselves, because it’s really not something people should speculate about to begin with.
I dont think he’s saying that being gay is bad….he could just be worried about his career. Im sure the majority of his fanbase is young girls and maybe in his eyes they’ll abandon him if they can’t “crush” on him. i don’t know. Or maybe he grew up in an environment where people used gay as an insult, and hes worried about what his own family/friends will think.
I am getting more of a “these rumouss bother me and I am not sure why, because it shouldn’t matter, but it does to me” vibe from what he is saying and it a brutaly honest thing to say. While we all say, who cares and everyone should mind their own bussiness we are still have a long way to go until it actualy becomes a natural thing when people feel good about their sexuality and the perception other people have of us.
I always liked what Johnny Galecki said when asked about the gay rumours ” i have never really addressed the rumours bc i figured wht defend myself against something that is not offensive”.
To quote my favourite tweet on this.
gay ppl assuming someone’s gay: harassment
straight ppl assuming everyone’s straight: normal monday evening
I’ve had my sexuality policed by straight people because I think they’re scared of the unknown?
I’m a fairly affectionate person and I’m especially affectionate towards my close friends. Most of my close friends are women or non binary folks. I’m actually not physically affectionate when I’m flirting because I worry about crossing a persons boundaries.
So straight people yell slurs, give backhanded compliments or spread nasty gossip. Straight people assume I’m straight until I do something that reads as lesbianism. Then sometimes they panic and become cruel because they have no tools for interpreting pansexuality.
So I think the tweet is correct in some ways but I’ve had some really toxic situations where heterosexual people punish me for being different.
Yup. Just like straight people have love lives while gay people have ‘lifestyles’. Sharing stories about your straight relationship is just bonding and chatting, sharing stories about your gay relationship is ‘TMI’, shoving it down people’s throats.
And assuming someone’s gay, like you said, is ‘harassment’, breaching boundaries, while assuming someone’s straight is ‘Tuesday’.
Funny how people, and us on this site too, treat discussing a straight couple’s ins and outs, their sexuality, as standard gossip, while speculations about someone’s sexuality beyond assuming they’re ‘straight and therefore normal’ is instantly treated with a fake concern about privacy and respect. I see you, folks. I see what you’re doing. I used to express my discomfort with the gay that way too before I accepted that I was bi. You know, the ‘polite’ way of hush-hushing people talking about nonstraight sexuality.
I also think that if someone is closeted about gender or sexuality than they have a valid reason for being that way? I know people who were kicked out of home or ostracised for being queer.
I feel uncomfortable shoving someone out of the closet when they aren’t ready. Publicly speculating about someone’s sexuality in a way that makes them uncomfortable is counterproductive. If they are actually LGBTI+ the public commentary can just make their life harder.
“Sharing stories about your straight relationship is just bonding and chatting, sharing stories about your gay relationship is ‘TMI’, shoving it down people’s throats.” Yep. Or being thirsty/ lying for attention. Same thing with PDA. Heaven forbid lesbians, bisexual people, pansexual people, or gay people do the same things straight people do with their love lives and personal lives,
I respect people’s rights to decide when to come out of the closet though, and do think guys are sometimes read as gay instantly if they care how they look or have any interest or mannerism that isn’t seen as especially ‘manly’, instead of the speculation being based on whom they’ve actually slept with or dated. A similar thing sometimes happens with girls, but on both ends of the spectrum. Until he says otherwise or is caught with a boyfriend or male FB, I’m going to listen to him about his own sexuality.
I think I know where hes coming from? It seems like some of his fans want to impose on him a sexuality he says he doesnt identify with? It’s like when people ‘ship’ celebrities that have their own partners, like they’re not happy with who they like or who they are with.
You have no idea how toxic people are about this. One of my cousins (who lived with me at the time) was a pretty hardcore directioner, and the things she told me about the fanbase were… bizarre, to say the least. The girls “shipped” the members with each other, and when one of them had a girlfriend, they would make meetings in their forums to organize and go harass them on social media. And no, not they all of them were 12. Some of these fans were college-aged (well, according to my cousin at least).
Being a male pop idol is pretty demanding psychologically. I hate sounding like a mysoginist, but young female audiences can be extremely entitled about what they expect in exchange for their overwhelming adoration.
college age? you wish. many of the worst diehard larries (those creeps who ship Harry Styles and that other one together) are 40+
You’re not wrong- I’ve seen some of what you’re talking about over the years. But female pop stars have a lot of toxic things imposed on them about their sexuality too from entitled males and females- whether they’re haters, angry parents, regular celebrity gossip enjoyers, or sometimes other celebrities. Everything from falsified sexual abuse narratives, to prostitution rumors, to teen pregnancy/abortion rumors, to blame for the behavior of the predators of the world gets projected onto young famous women.
It seems like he’s saying I’m straight and I feel bad that I have to defend that I’m straight. Let the kid be what he wants! He is right he shouldn’t have to defend either sexually, it’s no ones business. I really don’t get people who want a celebrity to be whatever sexually they want them to be…gay or straight. Someones dress and mannerisms don’t define their sexuality either way.
If he is, so what. You are what you are, and I don’t understand why people are so nosey about sexuality. His obsession about trying to prove he’s not gay will just make some people talk about it and the rumors will keep going. I’ve never even heard of him
Never heard of him, but he does indeed have really great hair.
I think people are what they say are. He is heterosexual and he’s unpacking homosexuality. I appreciate a young man being so thoughtful & sensitive. I think gentle men get called gay etc… because other straight man are (unconsciously) bullying them. That bullying arises out of a desire to force gentle & sweethearts men into being misogynistic. I know a few sweethearts heterosexual men who deal with gay rumours because of this.
+1
Meanwhile Hugh Jackman does not even care if people think he is gay. Everyone in showbiz is rumored to be gay anyway, no need to overcompensate, Shawn.
Hugh Jackman is 50 though. He’s had a lot of time to mature. I wonder what his answer would have been at 20.
He’s young. Ideally he will look to guys like Harry Styles and Timothee Chalamet who embrace their feminine side and don’t really care or worry about those kinds of rumors. Some people take longer than others to be comfortable with themselves as they are though.
Hugh Jackman is also MARRIED and has been for 20 years. Makes it a lot easier to brush off gay rumors.
Hugh is literally 30 years older than Sean and has publicly been in a relationship with a woman since before Sean, who just turned 20 and has been dealing with people talking about his sexuality since he was 14, was born. I agree with you that in an ideal world one should just brush something like this off, but we go through so much exploration in regards to our sexuality during our high school and college years and I couldn’t imagine having to do that whilst a bunch of people speculate about who I want to be with and what I want to do with them. Sean’s answer might be the “right” ome by all objective measures, but it is human and I’m cutting the kid some slack.
I honestly really like him and his music.
I am way, way too old to crush on him – but I do enjoy his music. He played the Houston rodeo a few years ago (don’t judge – it’s a great venue and I go every year for work) and the boy can sing. He got up in front of a huge crowd (sold out is 100,000 – not sure how many were there that night) with his guitar, no backup, no auto tune and just sang. I was already a fan, but that night I was also really impressed.
Selena Gomez also played the rodeo – she was HORRIBLE. She can’t sing to save her life. Bruno Mars was great. Your talent – or lack of – is really exposed in a venue like that.
I don’t care what his sexuality is. I do care about his right to do what he wants about it. We awaken in our own time.
He’s gorgeous and talented but I think his obsession with not being gay says a lot about him. Especially as someone who is bff with Teddy Geiger who transitioned last year, IIRC. Not commenting on it would give him more peace and force people to drop it than constantly bringing it up. Also Hailey Baldwin beautiful inside and outside? IF THAT IS NOT THE BEST JOKE I’VE HEARD ALL WEEK.
Whether he is gay or straight, I wonder what his label/managers/agents are doing with him behind the scenes to control his image. I remember a long time ago when Kris Allen was on American Idol, he was married (still is) and Simon Cowell went on and on to him about what a shame it is that he’s married, that it will be the detriment to his image and brand as a young “attractive” artist to the female crowd. The handlers are super controlling, I would imagine this is especially true for a hot young artist like him who is only 20 and just really getting started. I feel bad for how vulnerable he is and that he feels he needs to be paranoid about how his sexuality comes across.
I think it’s cool that he’s willing to talk openly about his struggle to reconcile his negative feelings about being labeled something he’s not, and also recognizing that having that label isn’t a bad thing. Your 20s are freaking hard and confusing at times. I didn’t realize I was bisexual until I was 23. Having those outside voices telling you who you should be or what you seem to be must be tough.
Toxic masculinity is gonna WEAR THIS POOR CHILD OUT!
I have absolutely no clue who he is, but I need to chime in on the gay obsession thing. I’m WAY older than he is, but I chose to come out in my early twenties & there was a lot of anxiety involved. Cut to now. I have several male friends who are in their late 40’s who I know aren’t gay, but people keep making assumptions and messed up comments & opinions about them and I get the idea they share the some anxiety & need to prove something that this young man does. My point is people aren’t going to “MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESSES” & until this young man comes to grip with that part of it he’s going to always have wrecked nerves about this into his forties and beyond
Refreshingly honest!
I loved, loved, loved this interview. Instead of judging him for reading YouTube comments and caring about what people think, let’s celebrate him for being open and honest about his shortcomings. He’s actually making transparent the fact that unfortunately we still live in a world where being gay can make things harder, instead of hiding this fact with lies.
Total cutie but I prefer my pop tarts – uh, I mean, stars – neuroses-free.
Ahhh yes, Shawn Mendes. I can’t tell you how much I wanted this kid to succeed in the past to redeem Canada for creating Bieber.
My husband is the same type: super gentle, a bit effeminate, tall and manly. Boy is he popular with men and women… Even I sometimes look at him and see stereotypically gay mannerisms. I am, on the contrary sometimes a bit stereotypically masculine in my ways and when I cut my hair I got a lot of attention from gay women (from experience… not prejudice, please don’t attack me). Stereotypes and types are very intricate and hard to read. Also, our straightness is very cultural – my kids are from a more fluid generation which does not wat to pin itself down, which is far healthier imo. I have felt attraction to women but I have met my husband when I was 19 so not really explored that side… 🤷🏻♀️ Pretty sure sexuality is not only something that comes with you when you are 100% gay or straight but also a fluctuating identity for a lot of people.
Anyway, so sad he has to worry about this: it’s probably pressure from an industry that created these sexualised male singers (from Presley to Ricky Martin, George Michael, One Direction etc).
When the media can’t find any “dirt” on you, and you’re not out getting arrested, drunk, getting into physical fights, being racist, sexist, etc,. they always play the “gay card”. One of his best friends is trans. This boy is not a homophobe and I truly believe if he was gay, he’d have no problem saying it. Just imagine in your normal every day life if someone just started a rumor about you being gay and everyone believed it. You have the right to be upset because the rumor ISN’T true. That doesn’t mean you’re a homophobe. The rumor could be about ANYTHING and if it’s not true, any normal person would be upset about it.
He’s gay. And that’s totally okay.
He’s straight and that’s totally okay too.
Thats so sad! poor guy!
He’s a teenager.
Still obsessing over how he’s perceived.
Nothing to see here folks.
That being said, I’ll bookmark him to see what he’s 10 years from now. He still looks like a 14 year old that could be like…a friend’s nephew or something and isn’t doing anything for me just yet.
it’s sad that being thought of as gay is a negative thing, and that he is so concerned about this. I’m sure the rumors never have and will never prevent him from making love with whoever he consents to have intimacy with.