Mayim Bialik is a mixed bag. Sometimes she can come across so judgmental but other times, she can be quite relatable. In her latest blog post to her website, Grok Nation, she writes about something many of us have experienced: being alone at the holidays and wishing she wasn’t. Last month, when Mayim was talking about her unconventional Thanksgiving with her ex and his new girlfriend, she mentioned briefly that she was “now single.” I didn’t pay much attention to that comment when I read it because I hadn’t realized she’d been in a relationship. Apparently she’d been with someone for the last five years. But it ended sometime before Thanksgiving and now Mayim is facing the holidays alone.
This is the point in my life where I write about losing love. It’s the point where I second guess myself with every single touch of the keyboard. It’s also the point where I realize how powerful the relationship I have with everyone who comes to my website is.
You don’t get to know all of the details, and it won’t be featured on the cover (or even in the pages of) a tabloid magazine. My love story is nothing particularly exceptional. I mean, he was—er, is. I was an exceptional iteration of myself with him. For five years in fact. And now it’s over.
If ever there were a story that should have ended not like this, I feel this might be it. But he has his own will and much as I wish I could control his will, I cannot. And so here we are.
There is rarely good timing for a break up. But most certainly, the worst time is now. In case he is reading this, I’m just meh with this timing. Because say what you will, the holidays are a time to not be recently broken up. I know this much is true. The air is full of clarity and possibility.
Cheer abounds and people seem friendlier (except for that guy who called me “f—ing stupid” in front of my 10-year-old for walking too slow at the mall). Commercials tell me this is the time of year to buy the woman you love expensive jewelry. It’s also when people get proposed to. And I would be lying if I said it didn’t enter my mind that this holiday season might hold a promise of a secure future for me.
Mayim’s discussed her depression before. The holidays can be a struggle for those suffering from depression even without the added sadness of a lost love. It sounds like not only did she not end the relationship, she doesn’t think it should have ended. I’ve been there and yes, that’s rough. Mayim doesn’t celebrate Christmas but she used to with her former in-laws and she advocates for participating in the celebration without ignoring your personal faith. She’s also written of her joy of holiday lights. Not to mention that it’s not just the winter holidays she celebrates, her birthday is December 12.
Later in her post, she gives a few tips on how to deal with the pain of being alone over the holidays, in which she advocates for exercise, leaving your phone home, no sad music, knowing your limits and finding perspective. Her advice is pretty good and she also suggests reaching out to a professional if needed. Except for the sad music bit, I get her point. It’s not great to wallow, but sometimes I really need a good old-fashioned cry. When my dog died, I practically drowned myself in XTC and Depeche Mode. And gawd forbid I ever need it again, but Barry Manilow’s Weekend in New England is my go-to breakup song. Oh yea, I go there with heartbreak.
Photo credit: WENN Photos and Instagram
I’m happily married but deal with debilitating depressive episodes and sometimes I turn “I told you so” on repeat and whale cry for hours in my car.
Sad music is my coping mechanism 🤷🏼♀️
Men – just like women – are under no obligation to be with someone if they no longer want to. His timing isn’t about her. It’s about him and what he needed. That’s important too.
She suffers from depression though, so maybe some people will feel that everything her ex does right now should be based on her clock. Then again, maybe not, since the genders are reversed.
I should think it would have been far more depressing if he dumped after the holidays and after not proposing to her. And as someone who has suffered from depression and hyperanxiety for most of my life, emotional disorders are not an excuse one uses to make people bend to your will.
Agreed Moxy. It sucks to have someone break up with you at any time. Holidays may be especially difficult after a break up, but *everyone*, regardless of gender, has the right to leave a relationship at any time.
Though I agree that no one is obligated to bend to another’s will or desire, but there is still such a thing as decency. They weren’t together 2 months. This wasn’t a one night stand. And presumably her ex had a relationship with her 10 year old little girl. There is a time and appropriate way to end a relationship. You don’t dump your girlfriend of 5 years right before her birthday or right before the holidays, the time when suicide rates skyrocket. Are you seriously suggesting he couldn’t wait a whole TWO weeks to amicably end the relationship? They are both adults and I think he chose an incredibly hurtful and insensitive way to end the relationship. And the fact that he already has a new girlfriend suggests to me that he’s no prince. I know Mayim is better off, but I stand by my opinion: he’s a dick and his timing SUCKS.
@Kristina, I agree!
Yes. He has every right to be be with the woman of his choice. Spending holidays with a soon-to-be ex when he’d rather be with his new girlfriend would be catering to Mayim’s emotional blackmail. He & new g.f. included her @ Thanksgiving – generous on their part to offer & maybe not the best decision on her part to participate if it’d exacerbate her sadness.
Her wistful musings about a possible proposal are delusional. We can generally tell if a relationship is cooling off or heating up without being told.
Same. I’ve been having a hard time with the grief of my dads passing and when I really need to cry I put on Like A Stone by Audioslave and just cry these big hideous crocodile tears.
I’m so sorry that you lost your dads. Sending virtual hugs.
My beloved dog of nearly 16 years died 1 year ago. I’ve been especially emotional recently, but had no “outlet”. Then I listened to K.D. Lang sing “Hallelujah” on the Leonard Cohen tribute on PBS…and holy cow, did the tears come! KD just took my heart and pushed all the buttons. It was such a beautiful and moving rendition.
If anyone needs a good cry, I suggest you look it up! I’ll post a link in the next comment. The performance is from: Tower of Song, Hommage to Leonard Cohen 2017
Here’s link!
https://youtu.be/paXBGRntIdM
Her version of that song is just incredible.
@Tiffany-I’m so sorry about your beloved dog. I lost my sweet 22 yo “kitteh” Leo 6 months ago.
Definitely going to click on your link-a go to song when I want/MUST cry is “Vincent” by Don McLean. Also watching the (REALLY dating myself here!) ‘NYPD Blue” episode where Bobby Simone (Jimmy Smits) dies usually ends up with me on the floor howling and gasping. Difficult but cathartic.
ETA-my avatar picture is my baby Leo, about 6 years ago…studly :>)
I thought the comment about a “secure future” was unusual. It’s sad when relationships end and must really be awful at the holidays especially if she was “expecting” an engagement. I guess I find the idea of security in another (especially if one has already been divorced) an uneasy ideal. I mean no snark or disrespect, it just fell odd to me.
She’s probably feeling extra sensitive about the secure future thing right now since she’s out of her steady job in a few months when BBT ends.
As much as they got paid for those shows, her future should be fairly secure, financially, at this point.
What I want to know is, how could this woman victimize her ex like this by doing a blog post about their breakup? The internet is forever, and used by so many people. She was the more famous person in the relationship too. She must be some kind of fake or opportunist. This right here kind of just ruins any good thing she’s ever done before or will ever do again in my book. Not buying her good mom image. 😉
How is discussing her pain at dealing with an unexpected breakup over the holidays “victimizing” her ex? How would it suggest she’s not a good mom? I’m not following at all.
I read her post as very genuine. Post break up can be a dark place and it’s no good to hang there alone. She’s openly connecting with her web peeps in her time of need. She’s not bashing her ex (+), she’s in mourning for what she had and what will now never be. I think it’d be therapeutic to hash it out on the keyboard and connect to a captivated audience. She’s human.
….Just holding this random problematic actress/blogger to the same ridiculous standard that more successful female pop stars are suddenly being held to now. Two men Said Words on instagram and just like that- the goalposts shift. That is privilege.
I see what you did there. 😉
“Secure future” jumped out at me, too. The future is never secure, for one thing. It just struck me as kinda sad that she was depending on an engagement ring to feel that. hat said, she does seem to be coping pretty well, her advice is good although I know that time, sometimes a lot of it, is really the only way to heal.
Right. Isn’t she divorced? Shouldn’t she know by now that a ring doesn’t guarantee shit?
Admittedly we don’t know a lot of details about her relationship but my initial feeling is that her comment screams of someone who is experiencing a completely different version of the relationship than her partner is. If she’s thinking engagement and he’s thinking break-up my guess is that there was probably a lot of communication and intimacy issues there.
Found the “secure future” thing weird aswell, and a bit selfish, to be honest. Also.. with that BBT money rolling in for the rest of her life (syndication and such), she is really not one to worry about her future, ffs.
Sometimes you just don’t see any warning signs, the decision is made quickly and unilaterally without any input from your side. I once got dumped after over a year with a fellow when he went to California to visit a friend. When he didn’t reappear I started trying to contact him to no avail. He’d circled the wagons, wouldn’t return phone calls, this was the days before internets and cells and even his friends and family wouldn’t tell me what was going on. Turns out he’d met a beautiful, well-known singer in Cali, and after a few months she moved to Toronto and they got married. Ask me how I felt…however the marriage turned out to be awful, she was a self-obsessed, childish nut job and they only stayed together for the sake of their daughter so that was my one consolation. Marry in haste, repent at leisure.
They had been together for five years without a marriage proposal, which she probably felt was too long. When she’s referring to a secure future, she probably meant that she wanted to be sure the relationship was leading to marriage instead of just dating year after year.
It seemed off to me as well. I was a single parent before getting married, and I worked hard to make sure that I secured the future of my child and myself well before even thinking of getting married. No one can make you secure but you.
But I’m also wondering if she only meant romantically secure – but even that is no given.
Just got casually and brutally discarded on Saturday.
Add to Bialik’s list: watch funny videos on YouTube.
I’m sorry Judi, that’s horrid.
Better things will come for you in the new year, that’s my wish for you.
@damejudi I’m so sorry for you, that’s really rough. Sending you many warm hugs! ❤️
Thanks for the kind words!
It all works out for the best, I know that intellectually. Just gotta get my emotional side to catch up!
Aw, damejudi, hugs to you.
I just got discarded in between losing both of my parents. Hugs to all suffering now and through the holidays.
I got discarded recently aswell. It sucks. And yes, it is worse in winter, I give her that. Internet hugs to you, damejudi.
Thanks for (((hugs)))! I love the CB community: lots of smarts, snark, and laughs.
@Sojaschnitzel sending you hugs-let’s be our awesome selves and kick winter’s a**!
Awwww damejudi and Sojaschnitzel, so sorry!!! I know exactly how you feel. I cooked when that happened to me and it helped, just cooked for all my friends constantly. Food is love and I didn’t care that I gained weight, it filled a void in me. Sending you both hugs….
Sending love, @damejudi.
If you know you want to break up, then do it. I’m sorry the putting off because holidays is just wrong because you’re miserable and probably making your partner miserable too by being checked out.
Thanksgiving, Hanukkah/ Christmas, New Year’s Eve, Valentine’s Day. All those events with family asking where is the ring (esp after 5 years) when you know you’re one foot out the door?
You can’t break up between Nov 1 and Feb 15th? A quarter of the year is off- limits?
Exactly! Why spend the holidays with someone you aren’t happy with. Now they both have the opportunity to start a new year single & ready (or not) to mingle.
Love your handle…I have a kitty that farts 🙂
Amen. If you’re done, tell the person you’re done. Stringing them along through the festive season because you don’t want to have a difficult conversation is selfish.
That’s not what she said. She didn’t expect her BF to hang on, she just noted the unfortunate timing.
I don’t understand why Mayim has so many haters. I appreciate that she is open in her YouTube videos and in her blog, even if I don’t always agree with her. It takes a lot of courage to put herself out there.
Courage, and stupidity in some cases, though -she’s said some pretty awful stuff over the years. Victim shaming, promoting anti-vax literature and choosing the same sketch anti-vax ‘dr’ that Jenny McCarthy shopped for, ignoring developmental delays, and putting all of that out there with a sense of authority isn’t just about courage – it’s irresponsible. I mean – we don’t call people like Alex Jones courageous.
And I mean – she did expect him to hang on. “If ever there were a story that should have ended not like this, I feel this might be it. But he has his own will and much as I wish I could control his will, I cannot. And so here we are.” as well as “And I would be lying if I said it didn’t enter my mind that this holiday season might hold a promise of a secure future for me.” make it pretty clear that that WAS what she was expecting. She wanted to tie her security to him, despite him obviously being unhappy and wanting to check out of the relationship – she still thinks of it as something that should never have ended. I don’t know if she’s idealized it into something it wasn’t, or if she’s just was only concerned about her own feelings. But this whole piece reads like a bit of a shaming – shaming him for breaking up, shaming him for ending a tale for the ages, shaming him because he did it BEFORE the holidays ever started, shaming him for ruining her sense of security. I don’t see how you couldn’t take it that way.
But she did expect her boyfriend to hang on. It’s literally there in what she said.
I don’t hate her, but I think she has said some irresponsible things about birthing methods, especially c-sections, and her mantra that they are just so unnatural and wrong is garbage. There is absolutely nothing unnatural about saving your child’s life through c-section, let me tell ya!
It’s one thing to advocate that women have choices available to them and that no one feels pressured to do any one thing, but it’s another altogether to be so incredibly judgmental about what what happens to someone’s else’s body. To me, the true advocates of women advocate no one thing, but trust that women are smart enough to make the right choice for themselves and their families.
Man. I know it’s tough, but reading this made me cringe.
It’s not AS bad where supposedly this was a ‘secret’ relationship that the tabloids shouldn’t be able to pin down. But holy hell, it was a lot of guilting. And while she’s saying he has his own will and she can’t control him – it’s still pretty sketchy to me.
“If ever there were a story that should have ended not like this, I feel this might be it. But he has his own will and much as I wish I could control his will, I cannot. And so here we are.
There is rarely good timing for a break up. But most certainly, the worst time is now. In case he is reading this, I’m just meh with this timing. Because say what you will, the holidays are a time to not be recently broken up.”
Look, I don’t know the ins and outs of their relationship. But this seemed like a real jab at him. It’s not like he can come out and explain HIS side of things unless he wants to give up anonymity – which since we have no idea who he is, I doubt he’d want that. But it comes across as “how dare you leave at a time that’s not convenient to me”. And maybe things were going poorly for some time now. Is he supposed to play happy household over the holidays? He broke up with her prior to thanksgiving – which I think is a lot kinder than it could have been. But honestly? This piece reads as a controlling person being really annoyed that they didn’t have control over the way the breakup happened. I know – breakups are rarely easy. But I’d prefer to be dumped sometime prior to thanksgiving rather than a few days before Christmas.
It’s weird too, because why would you want to stay another minute with someone who wanted out?
That was my first thought too.
Agreed! This will sound mean, but if she were this exhausting during their five year relationship, well, I can see why he left.
I was once dumped on the 31th december. I get why she’s mad, lol
Could be worse. I know someone who was dumped on the eve – literally – of their 25th wedding anniversary. They were going to have a huge party for family and friends to celebrate and the evening before, he told he was in love with another woman and wanted a divorce.
“If ever there were a story that should have ended not like this, I feel this might be it.”
*CRINGE*
That line belongs in one of those “Worst Literary Line of the Year” contests. It just reeks.
The twee, “I’m so whimsical” writing style is objectively dreadful.
I picture her being completely insufferable to live with… Oops did I say that out loud
My exact thought!
Same.
Ditto.
Can’t imagine how awful that feels.
But I can only extend so much sympathy to this woman after her opinion piece about how she was not attractive enough to have ‘let’ herself been raped and blamed Harvey Weinstein’s victims.
#NeverForget
+1
OMG, howv horrible and IGNORANT!!!!!!! A woman of ‘science’ hmm…
Oh Jesus that is fucking abhorrent
Also available to anyone suffering and sad: prayer and a personal relationship with God!
Therapy, meds and surrounding yourself with good people works a lot better than prayer.
You can have all of the above! The psychological literature shows that prayer can be a meaningful way of building up emotional resilience. I’m in grad school to become a therapist, and there’s increasing attention paid to what a positive role spirituality can play in our clients’ lives. Therapy, meds, community are important, and if prayer and a relationship to God has meaning for someone, then they can be incredibly helpful, too.
Bee, I appreciate what you’re saying and don’t want to begrudge anyone’s belief system. However, I’ve suffered from debilitating anxiety and depression since childhood and hearing people tell me to “pray about it” can come across as flippant. I don’t think you or the other poster meant that, sorry to be salty.
I think use all tools at your disposal. If prayer is one of them, great. If not, great.
LOL
A deity other than God is also acceptable.
Both Janet and Bengalcat are right – they both work. If you don’t wanna pray, don’t. But it does work.
I might also add that many people suffering with depression don’t have good people around them, can’t afford therapy or meds but prayer can make subtle changes that allow breakthroughs to happen – including access to resources.
Your doctor can point you to therapy that is little to no cost to the patient. Towns or cities with some form of Community Services, can also provide or point the way to no cost therapy. It is worth the time it takes to investigate, especially with your sanity for the rest of your life the end result.
I got dumped before Christmas one year and it sucked. But looking back it would have been worse if he had of pretended to still be into a relationship and been all “Christmas-lovey-sweet” and then broke up right after. It would have been more confusing for me, and torture for him for have to fake it…which I would have resented him for anyhow. Maybe this guy just couldn’t do it anymore and couldn’t face it hanging over him over the holidays. It also sorta sounds to me that she is more mad that she couldn’t control when he did it, as much as the fact that he actually broke up with her.
I got dumped once, rather brutally, right after Valentine’s Day. After a big buildup at Christmas with some slightly serious presents (that featured the word “love” on them, a thing which had not been said at the time), and a very special Valentine’s trip with a handmade present that said “I love you” which was then said out loud. Then he drives back home on the 16th, then calls me on the 17th to break up with me and give me advice about how to be more “like a girl” so that I won’t be alone and rejected forever. Becuase he still cares about me even though, according to his own mouth, he’d been wanting to break up in November.
And I have depression and have done for about 20 years. When you are ready to break up with someone, just do it. Don’t go through the motions or get caught up in the “I love love” feelings of the holidays. It just makes it worse. I spiraled into a major episode knowing that he’d been so fake for so long and thinking that I was somehow broken and not a real girl. Anyone who is giving advice here about holiday break ups (and come on, there ain’t no Advent for Thanksgiving, so she really wasn’t dumped during the holidays. She’s just still feeling sad during the holidays. That is different and not on him at all.) being a bad time or unfair or whatever, please know that you are dumb and wrong.
And, no matter the time of year, never give your dumpee advice on how to better attract a mate while you are dumping them. That is just shitty, and your advice probably sucks.
That is really awful derpshooter, and I’m sorry that happened to you. He sounds like a major jerk.
Forget that jerk, you don’t have to be a girly girl to attract a guy (I’m assuming that’s what he meant). Some men like a high maintenance girly girl look, others prefer a more low maintenance look. There’s a guy for every type of woman, don’t let him make you think you’re not good enough in any way. You don’t need to change for anybody. The right man will appreciate you as you are.
My thoughts, too. I learned to tell myself this:
You are you and there isn’t anything wrong with being the way you are. And your guy should like you the way you are and not the way other women are!
Else what is the point?
That being said there is nothing wrong with looking back and thinking about who you are and if and where there might be room for improvement. Do I want to be more fashionable? Do I want to be more outgoing? Do I want to learn how to cook? More or less socialising? Do I want to react differently in stressful situations? More sport or less sport? … etc. But this desire has to come from you and it must not be a demand from somebody else.
I’m reading this as she is guilt tripping her ex for not staying with her for the holidays. I get the end of the year is a crappy time to break up. Nobody wants to start or end the year on a bad note. But would she rather him put on a fake front and soldier through it and then break up with her? Isn’t that confusing not only for her but for her kids? If he was around for 5 years, I’m assuming he was around her kids. At least he did it before Thanksgiving and hopefully she hadn’t bought him any holiday gifts.
And the note about controlling his will–she’s always come across as a control freak. It’s either her way or the highway. I wonder if this led to the dissolution of her first marriage. This just reads to me that she is really shading him for not doing what SHE wanted to do all the time. This post really does not come across well a all.
Exactly this! I found out my cancer had returned three weeks before my 5th remission anniversary. Obviously it was devastating since I was THIS CLOSE to being deemed “cured.” But my BFF correctly pointed out that it was much better finding out then than three weeks after celebrating a false cure.
Wishing you the best to achieve full remission and have all the love and support you need Bearcat
Wishing you a speedy remission – I’m at the 2 year mark of remission and get anxty every time I feel a little bump or a twinge in my frankenboob. Stay strong.
Wow! I don’t know how recent this was but I hope you are undergoing treatment or in recovery! I wish you all the good and positive vibes in the world!
Well, my guess would be he could have known a bit earlier that that relationship wasn’t ment to be much longer. If they were together for five years surely he knew by summer that it would / he should end it?
I am sorry for her as it is hard to be left alone a few weeks before Christmas which is the celebration of love and the birth of Jesus.
I would like to add one advice: go socialise a bit: Christmas carol singing. Or soup kitchen service or whatever. Distract yourself a bit by some low-demand (=no baring your soul) socialising.
I cant seem to feel sorry for this person. She comes off like an insufferable blow-hard (to me, anyway). And she *does* seem like a total control freak, and seriously fuck her for her anti- vax horse shit. Everyone should break up with her every day.
Lolololol!!
This post proves the control freak thing even more. She is insufferable. How can you be a science “genius” and an anti-vaxxer?? Stupidity knows no bounds.
I agree with you 110%. I was a big fan of hers, I loved Blossom (I am the same age as her and I could really relate to that show). I followed her for awhile when she became famous again – but then she started with the anti-vax horse poop and I was out immediately. I can’t stand her now, she’s so self-righteous and talks about her education and superior intellect and then she’s anti-vax … grrrrrrrrrr
When she appeared on Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me, she made sure to mention her many degrees more than once. Seems like a pain to be around long term.
I think it didn’t help her that much, that degree? She can name-drop her many educational stuff but how does it help her except for some very very little positive pr?
Everybody who knows about educational degrees knows that the longer you don’t use them the more the benefits fade. Use it or lose it. I don’t know when she got her degree but she doesn’t work in science and hasn’t for quite a while, has she?
Truth is:
Somebody who got his Phd 10 years ago and never worked in science after that is practically “out”. Such a 10-years-old Phd is scientifically (= working as scientist at university) nearly useless especially in natural sciences.
Yes! She is so irritating!
He broke up with her BEFORE Thanksgiving. So, knowing his heart/mind was no longer in it, he should’ve stayed with her 2.5 MORE months, just because it’s CLOSE to the end of the year? Are you kidding me?
The second I fall out of love/like with someone my skin crawls at the thought of having to hold their hand, kiss, or touch them until I can tactfully break it off with them.
So he was supposed to stay with her, go through all the motions, get her holiday gifts, and a birthday present (her DOB 12/12/75), as well as be intimate with her for weeks and weeks AFTER he knows he’s going to end it with her?
What the f**k ever.
This woman is insufferable. Why would she make such a big deal out of that weird Thanksgiving with her now-ex and his ex and God knows who else if he had already broken up with her? I would have cancelled that entire shindig and told every single one of them to fuck off. But no, she makes it into her being so accepting and understanding and willing to be so special as to allow all these people into her life, and now we find out she had already been dumped.
Why can’t she act like a normal person for once?
Oh I read that as meaning her previous ex and his girlfriend, since she no longer had a partner to celebrate with. But maybe not?
I could have read it wrong myself. I thought it was her (now ex-) boyfriend and his ex and her new SO, and I think the father of her kids and his new woman. I might be wrong but it all sounded like a giant cluster to me. lol
But if her BF already broke up with her, I have no idea why she went through that charade and then wrote about it like it’s what we should all be doing. lol I can’t imagine what that would be like if my family brought all their current and ex SO’s. In fact, I refuse to even think about how bad that would be. lol
I’m right there with “Weekend in New England”, and this time of year is a terrible time for a break up, period.
And when will I hold you again 😔Haven’t thought about this song in forever but love it for a cry
I mean to me the, “If ever there were a story that should have ended not like this” is my Dad dying of cancer far too soon and leaving my Mom behind to carry on the rest of her life without him. But you do you rich white woman.
Sorry for your loss,blessings to your mom and to you.
So sorry about your dad Tania…I just lost one of my best friends to cancer and am still in shock. Love to you and your mom.
Once upon a time, I was the dumper a month before Christmas. Not ideal timing but my ex was an active alcoholic and after his last bout of binge drinking, followed by nonsensical texting and rage at me for discovering the drinking, I had had it. My mental health was suffering and I needed OUT asap. I was kind about it but firm. Not saying it is the same situation with Mayim at all. But sometimes the timing just sucks but it has to end anyway. I probably should have ended it months prior but the “timing was bad” because we had a couple trips planned etc. But eventually when you really cotton on to the fact that you are not happy and it isn’t working – no time like the present to end it. For me I had to be firm before my courage left me.
As the dumper, I was sad. He had hid the alcoholism from me for the longest time and instead lied, manipulated and gas-lit me. It wasn’t until a couple months after I ended it that I realized how messed up it all was. Although almost immediately after breaking up with him I did feel a sense of relief (that should tell you something!).
I was alone that Christmas too, but by my own choosing. I was a little melancholy but it was also a great Christmas surrounded by family and friends and the feeling that my mind was clearing and mental health improving after having been in that quagmire of a relationship.
Right on. Good for you! People should be free (women and men) to walk away from a relationship when they know it’s time. No one is obligated or owed or expected to endure just because it’s the end of the year. I’m not getting her nonsensical blog. If anything, it makes her seem like a total narcissist.
I know I’ve already said it once, but I’m going to paste it again:
He up with her BEFORE Thanksgiving. So, knowing his heart/mind was no longer in it, he should’ve stayed with her 2.5 MORE months, just because it’s CLOSE to the end of the year? Are you kidding me?
The second I fall out of love/like with someone my skin crawls at the thought of having to hold their hand, kiss, or touch them until I can tactfully break it off with them.
So… he was supposed to stay with her, go through all the motions, get her holiday gifts, and a birthday present (her DOB 12/12/75), as well as be intimate with her for weeks and weeks AFTER he knows he’s going to end it with her?
What the f**k ever.
It was a five-year relationship. She has post-breakup syndrome: pain, sadness, depression … Give her some time. Attacking her now is kind of … not nice.
Yes, she’s sad & doing a public wallow in self-pity. there’s nothing “not nice” about recognizing that.
I thought she was gay? Not that it matters. I was surprised by your headline. I know zero about this chick.
My boyfriend of almost 6 years also broke up with me right after Christmas…I packed his things up and he was out by New Year’s Eve. It was HARD…I wasn’t ready to let go & didn’t want it to end. And though it took some time I was able to move on & now, several years later, I realize how right HE WAS to break things off (though the way he did it & the timing really sucked) I was,am glad we’re no longer together. Breakups, especially around the holidays are brutal. But they’re almost always the better outcome. Those were some dark days though, especially when midnight struck and I was home alone sobbing in my drink
I am sorry and I hope you are better now.
I understand that break ups are hard and that is why I give Bialik some room to find her footing again. I am sorry for her, too, as five year relationships are quite something and they tend to have taken up quite some room/time in your life. I am not going to take her down for such postings. She is still post-breakup and she probably needs some time to cope.