Mayim Bialik, 42, says and does a lot of things that are questionable. It’s gotten to the point where we don’t always cover her because she can be so problematic. One thing she’s been consistent about which is less offensive than her victim-blaming stance is the fact that her ex husband is family and that she needs to peacefully coparent with him. She was married to Michael Stone from 2003 to 2012 and they have two children together: Miles, 13, and Frederick, 10. In 2016, Mayim recorded a somewhat preachy video in which she revealed that she still spent holidays with her ex and that she considers him family. Mayim recently wrote a post for her blog, Grok Nation, about spending Thanksgiving with her ex Michael, their kids and his new girlfriend. Michael hosted it, and not only was his girlfriend there, the new girlfriend’s ex husband and their kids were there as well.
I spent Thanksgiving at my ex-husband’s. It was a real relief not to host; I usually do, but this year my ex volunteered. We all pitched in and cooked, but it was so nice not to have to worry about cleaning up and washing dishes and such.
He hosted his girlfriend and her kids and her ex husband. My mom also was there. And my bestie, Elsa, who spent the past few days with her family partly so she could be with me at this Thanksgiving meal for moral support. Good bestie!
Most people I have mentioned our guest list to think it’s nuts to be there with the ex and his girlfriend and her ex. That it’s too close, too weird, too awkward. It was our first time doing this kind of meal together.
I would be lying if I didn’t say I was nervous. I am single again and it was painful to be “alone.” I was meeting the girlfriend’s ex for the first time at a sit-down dinner…what if it was uncomfortable?
Mayim also made a numbered list of all the reasons why she did this and how awesome it was, which came across as holier than thou, but was probably better than her recording a video about it. I’m sparing you having to read all that, but in case you’re wondering why I’m kind of cynical about this, that’s why. (Plus, see any of the other reasons she’s been in the press the past couple of years.) She did call her husband’s new girlfriend “delightful” in the number 4 section about “gratitude,” writing “I have two children. That’s a blessing. I have an ex-husband who is not perfect and who sometimes irritates me, but all in all, he is pretty awesome. He has a fantastic girlfriend–truly. She’s delightful. And she wants her family intact even though they are also divorced.”
As I’ve written a few times, I’m divorced and I get along with my ex but we’re not in the “hanging out with the new partners” phase yet. This seems to be the latest celebrity trend. (See Anna Faris and Chris Pratt and maybe Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan, they’re close to that phase.) I don’t know if I’ll ever be at that point as it seems enlightened enough just to get along.
Mayim’s essay comes across as self congratulatory but at least she was vulnerable about being alone and how that was hard for her. She’s lucky to have a good best friend who is there for her too. Also, some people don’t have the luxury of having a reasonable ex and we have to consider them too. Mayim doesn’t consider much that’s outside her personal experience.
Not sure I could do this.
I wanted to meet my ex’s girlfriends if they were spending any kind of time with my kids. Good on them if they can all be peaceful on a holiday – it’s the best gift they can give their kids.
Pretty annoying how every celebrity now thinks they invented this concept. Sometimes it’s feasible, sometimes it’s not- but it’s not a new, revolutionary concept, and you’re not a failure if you can’t make it happen with your ex.
Back in the 80s my friend’s mom would babysit her ex husband’s kid. Nobody really questioned it bc both parties were able to get over themselves for the good of the children.
Celebrities can fuck right off with their sanctimony but if it inspires regular people to act right, then I think it’s a good thing.
When my youngest cousin was fifteen, my aunt divorced my uncle because she found out that he had a baby with his decades younger co-worker. But when his baby momma had a health crisis two years later my aunt stepped in (at the urging of her children) and cared for the little boy. She fell in love with the little guy and continued to provide child care until he went to kindergarten. Then through the years he would come over after school to her house until his mom could pick him up in the evenings. Even though my uncle and the woman never married nor even live together ( the side piece eventually married someone else) my aunt always welcomed her ex’s son. The son is now almost thirty and he continues to treat my aunt like a second mom. I was always amazed by her love and kindness.
Exactly! I think most people, where there are kids involved would try to do this to some extent. Some exes are easier to get along with than others I’m sure and it’s not fair for celebrities to make people feel bad if it isn’t possible for them.
My ex crazes me but we still make a point of having occasional family meals to show unity and he is family, whether I like it or not.
She’s giving Goop a run for the “conscious uncoupling” crown.
Interesting adding both ex’s to the gatherings. Do the ex’s also bring their new significance others?
Lol. And then they could bring their exes and the guest list would never end!
Maybe you have to be the parent of once of the children involved? My brain instantly made it a sitcom where Mayim hit it off with the new girl’s ex. That would also solve the ex’s significant other debate.
I actually read her whole post and while I typically find Mayim insufferable in some instances, this wasn’t one of them. I think a lot of divorced families that try to co-parent peacefully probably relate to her post which is who she was targeting. I find it big of her to spend Thanksgiving with her ex, his new girlfriend, and the new girlfriend’s ex. I dunno, trying not to be cynical as it is the holidays.
My uncle who died in July divorced his first wife when his daughters were young adults. He remarried but even after he remarried he continued to celebrate Thanksgiving each year with his ex-wife so his daughters did not have to choose a parent (something my mother and her siblings always found strange). This year my cousins celebrated Thanksgiving with their mom but I was heartened to see them including their step-mother too (my uncle is also her second husband, both her husbands died, her first husband died in a plane crash and my uncle died due to complications following a stroke). The reason they were able to do this is because my uncle instituted the tradition while he was still alive and they know it’s what he would have wanted. In the face of their pain and loss, I’m glad they were able to come together to celebrate even without my uncle present.
That is sweet, that the tradition could continue after your uncle’s passing. So sorry for your loss.
I didn’t mind what she wrote, either, and I also find her generally insufferable. I wish my husband’s parents could have found a way to do this amicably because instead they have miserable, highly divided family dynamic. It’s stressful and exhausting. And it sucks for the grandkids to be dragged into it.
Ugh yeah I didn’t even think about it but it really does affect the whole family! I understand some divorces are incredibly traumatic and I’m sorry your husband’s family makes the holidays stressful. That can’t be fun to do each year.
Also thanks for your kind words!
What a beautiful story! Your uncle sounds like he was a great man.
I think she’s horrible and don’t give a crap about anything she has to say. She is a virulent anti vaxxer and just an absolute nut and I shudder to think how much harm she’s caused when various outlets share her ridiculous thoughts.
This, 100%. Years ago, I so admired her for stepping away from show business to pursue her PhD, and I still consider it a significant achievement. But I also assumed solid scientific literacy on her part from her completion of an advanced, hard-science degree. Given her anti-vax stance, I wonder if she possesses even the most basic scientific literacy to discern a truly well-done study from crap science. Some anti-vaxxers sure don’t mind taking full benefit of herd immunity for their kids and then being smug about their ignorance and belief in their superior parenting.
*ModernFamily. 🤷♀️
I’d be ok if y’all go right on back to ignoring this woman. She’s insufferable and annoying. Although I do wonder if the new girlfriend found Mayim as “delightful” as Mayim found her. I’m guessing no.
My parents divorced in the late 70’s. The first years were typical of how most divorced families went at that time – acrimonious and really tough on the kids. After a while, my parents decided to get along, which made a fundamental change in how our lives turned out. When my mom’s mom was still alive it was my dad and stepmother who visited her most often since they were the only family still on the East Coast. And when my stepmother was scheduled to have surgery after my dad died it was my mom spent a week taking care of her. Having everyone be part of one extended family isn’t just better for the kids – it’s better for everyone.
Totally agree. My ex and his new wife recently hosted my milestone birthday party, we spend our holidays together with our shared kids and their new baby, we’ve vacationed together. The kids are happy, we’re happy to have more friends and close family. Plus, the kids are happy. 🙂
When everyone is amenable it’s great.
In my experience ex’s who constantly feel the need to hang out together have one of the following going on:
1. One partner has not really moved on and the other partner goes along with it to keep the peace
2. One or both partners still want to play happy family when it suits them – but when they had the chance to actually be a happy family they blew it.
3. Cannot break any unhealthy codependent relationship.
4. This is the rarest one of all, they are actually just pretty good friends. Only works when they’ve had time apart and time to really separate from the previous relationship. If they’ve never even given each other room to breathe and have been up under each other since the break up – something else is likely going on.