I struggle to adequately put into words why I think the Duchess of Cambridge is not the best spokesperson or patron for charities involving at-risk youth or kids who are struggling with emotional or mental issues. I think I struggle because Kate struggles a bit to verbalize what she really means, although I do believe she means well. I’m serious – she obviously cares, she obviously wants to do good work and carve out a big issue platform for herself. But it’s like Kate and William often don’t realize that their attempts to relate to people who have REAL problems often fall flat. It’s like the time when Kate gave a rare speech about children in poor communities needing more mental health resources. She cares about that issue, I know she does. But she made it sound like poor kids have mental health issues because they’re poor and from broken homes, and she doesn’t have any mental health issues because she came from a happy and loving wealthy family. That’s not the way it works.
Well, she’s still doing it. On her visit to Family Action on Tuesday, Kate spoke about the “struggle” of parenthood, and how all parents go through the same thing.
As a mom of three, Kate Middleton knows firsthand the struggles parents can face. And while she has trusty nanny Maria Turrion Borallo to help her with Prince George, 5, Princess Charlotte, 3, and 9-month-old Prince Louis, she expressed her solidarity and empathy with other parents and carers during a visit to the charity Family Action on Tuesday.
“It’s so hard. You get a lot of support with the baby as a mother particularly in the early days, but after the age of 1 it falls away,” she said during her visit. “After that there isn’t a huge amount — lots of books to read…Everybody experiences the same struggle,” she added.
The message isn’t wrong, but maybe the messenger is bad? The message is: all parents relate to each other because y’all are struggling and trying to figure it out and it often feels like you could use 10 pairs of extra hands. The messenger is someone who has baby nurses, a full-time nanny, a part-time nanny for when the new baby came, two grandparents who are actively involved, and a full staff of household helpers and office helpers and stylists and hair people and more. Again, I know she means well and I know she cares about this. But get her a proper speechwriter, maybe?
Photos courtesy of Backgrid.
All royals are privileged. Diana was as posh as they come. Meghan went to private schools. However that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t try to help those that are less privileged. That is what charity is about.
I look forward to reading the commentary when Meghan starts to talk about how tough it is having a newborn & her struggles with parenthood! I wonder if we’ll give her as much of a hard time as we do Kate.
Yeah, I have no problem with her speech. I think she’s actually correct, that’s why parents do relate to each other, regardless of socioeconomics or ethnicity. We’ve all seen a screaming toddler in the store or wherever, and felt every bit of that parents pain. Now, that’s not to say that having boatloads of money won’t lessen the struggle, but it doesn’t take away ALL of your struggles in life, especially when it comes to raising kids.
If Meghan sounds as disconnected and privileged as Kate then I’ll criticize her as well.
But, those of us who are rolling our eyes at this speech – it’s not because we think Kate is an awful person. Like Kaiser said, it’s clear she means well, there is just something flat in the execution.
This is true but we should give her a chance. I think Kate meant well and on a very basic level, most people are facing the same worries. However most people don’t have nannies and for a lot of people, they have no support at all. No grandparents and maybe not even the father. Still I think it’s an important message that we should be supporting each other and I hope that the fact it comes from Kate doesn’t detract from that.
@Becks1 Kate did not give a speech at this event. She was having a conversation with another parent that was there. We don’t know what the full conversation was so it’s hard to judge simply going by a small snippet of what she said. I think it’s unfair to pounce on her & say she sounds disconnected when we don’t have full access to the whole conversation. It’s all about context.
Thanks for saying this. Some cognitive dissonance going on.
All mothers have some struggle, some more than most. And I remember Kate hinting at postpartum depression with George, and she didn’t seem to be doing that well. I don’t care how much help you have, that and the isolation is horrible.
Add in how isolating it must be to be royal. You have to watch every word and can’t just pop down to the local coffee house to have some time with your play group moms.
Plus, most mothers don’t have to worry about their kids being kidnapped by ISIS or some crazy hiding in their car, with their children being very big targets. I can’t even imagine living with that fear.
Kate did not give a speech so I think we’re being overly critical. She was merely having a conversation with someone & it was then quoted in the papers.
The rest of that conversation was Kate saying that “even with help, as I have, it can be very difficult.” She *does* acknowledge that she’s privileged, that it’s easier for her, but they all go through the struggles of motherhood. Anyway, that’s the impression I got from that *whole* conversation.
Unless you completely give your spawn over to someone else to raise, we all struggle and she’s not wrong. Hell, I had a nanny and I still had to deal with screaming spawn in the store and 3 am wake ups. Was it easier for me? Yeah. It probably was. But I was also trying to juggle being a mom of twins and being working in a job where I was on-call some nights.
Why are several of you shitting all over Meghan before she’s even had her baby? What makes you think she’s going to put on a diamond-encrusted crown of thorns and bleat about how tough it is? My bet is she’ll be a quiet mom who enjoys the hell out of being a mom, middle of the night wake-ups and tantrums and all.
Agree charity is important (do they really have any other “job” to do?..), but I think what Will/Kate/Harry so often struggle with is to acknowledge of their privileged lifestyle in their work. I feel like Will and Harry in particular have this chip on their shoulder about how difficult their upbringing was, how hard done by they were and continue to be (thus the fetishism around having a “NORMAL LIFE”), that they will never “get it”. It’s the golden piano and the Queen all over again – so out of touch.
If Kate had simply tacked, “While I’ve struggle, I feel so fortunate to have the amount of help I do – from my family, from Williams, from our staff – and so many people just aren’t in the same position. That’s why the work that X charity is doing is so important for Y and Z reasons…” etc etc on to the end of that statement, I would respect it more.
But she did acknowledge she has help
Well Meghan actually helped put herself through college and was a working woman for the majority of her life before she married into the royal family. Unlike Diana or Kate. Not the same thing by a long shot.
But the topic here is to do with parenting. Kate currently has 3 young children so she’s in a better position to talk about this subject.
When Meghan’s child is born she will also have all the help that includes nannies & house staff. She won’t exactly be struggling herself.
@Wallflowerperk go back and read the original comment by Olivegreen that I was replying to. Which actually mentions nothing about parenting and merely asserts that like Diana and “all royals” Meghan is privileged because she went to a private school. Perhaps that will give you context for my reply.
Actually, Kate worked as well, both for her parents’ company and various other people. I learned that this summer. She worked at a whatchacallems… like a wharf thing with boats lol.
Kate never worked to put a roof over her head. Neither did Diana. Working for fun money is different than working to pay your basic bills. Meghan does have that experience.
And let’s not forget, got herself into one of the top colleges in the U.S. without wealthy parents to pave the way. College admissions were a rat race, even back when Meghan applied. If you’re not extra special, you’re not getting into a school like Northwestern.
Nan,
It was reported at the time that Kate was working for her parents as a photographer but in reality some other woman (I believe her name was Minnie or something) was credited as the photographer in the party pieces catalog. As far as the job on the boat, that was only for a summer. The job at Jigsaw she started off working 4 days a week, then she went down to like two days a week, with the reason being that she needed to be available for William. In all, she worked very rarely and spent most of her time catering to William, which was her prerogative. I just wish she would have spent some of that free time preparing herself for the job she would have as a royal. Given the fact that she did not have to worry about money and having a real job, she could have spent those years getting ready and actually hit the ground running.
Parenting is not just babysitting. That’s what she meant, I think; that regardless of whatever resources or help you may have in physically taking care of the baby, all parents nevertheless experience anxiety, feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.
I agree. I say this as my husband is in the other room trying to comfort our screaming newborn because I am out of gas due to her not sleeping really for the last 36 hours.
Bri w… hang in there. Take a breath and close your eyes.
This too will pass, Bri.
Hang in there. My spawn were screaming for my attention too and they’re teenagers. It doesn’t get better. But you get better at dealing with it.
I don’t have children, but almost all of my friends and close family do. Some have a lot of family support, some are doing it solo. Some have money, some don’t.
They all share the same worries – am I doing okay? Am I screwing this kid up? Do I spend enough time with them? Do I spend too much time with them? How do I make sure this kid is a decent human being and productive member of society?
I’ve heard this from all of them at one point or another. Having the responsibility of raising kids is frankly terrifying and I don’t know how they do it. Money makes it easier. Access to resources makes it easier. At the end of the day, though it’s just you wondering how the hell you’re going to get this kid to adulthood.
This….
Yeah, I probably screwed my spawn up and made them sarcastic for life.
I have all grandparents retired and taking turns to watch my baby while I work from home. She sleeps ok at night but not during the day. I also nurse. I’m exhausted with A LOT of help.
Kate has help but nannys get breaks; they’re not 24/7. She has 3 kids to 1 nanny (the baby nurse is probably gone now). All seem very close to their mom and she obviously spends more than the “good” moments with them. She nursed too, that alone is brutal and exhausting and isolating.
There are definitely at least two nannies, and I think some have speculated that there are three. That’s why when Louis was born there was a big deal made about not hiring additional help but….there were already multiple nannies.
@babyjane you’re a bitch
@Franny, I guess we will never know why!
Well put CEEDEE, too bad you don’t write her speeches.
@Ceedee You’re spot on!
And that’s a very good way to put it. All parents experience the same anxiety about whether they doing it right. I think that may have been what Kate was trying to get at.
That’s not what she said at all. What she actually said was, “It’s so hard. You get a lot of support with the baby as a mother particularly in the early days, but after the age of 1 it falls away,” — that statement, in no way, is referring to anxiety or self-doubt.
However, she is correct if her statement literally means “YOU” (and not *I* or *we* generally). As in, “YOU have a hard time with it [but I have it easy]”
#PrincessStruggles
Yes I see it, of course it would all be easier if all mothers had active help the way she does and a team of people dedicated to keeping her looking amazing and slim. But I think she’s hitting the nail on the head. Despite the fact that she has help, motherhood is a hauntingly lonely experience. The before 5 years are a total daze and confusion, tantrums, loss of temper and yet incredible magic with heavenly cuddles, plays and companionship. I believe she still does a lion’s share of work with 3 children and even with the nanny remains very busy. I live in England (as an American) there is far less pressure at work but there are staggering costs of childcare, and working parents TRULY struggle to make ends meet. All my friends do. There needs to be more support, more centres, more ways of coming together. England offers far more than America does in that regard, but on the continent its even more developed.
So true. Mine are currently 7,5,2 and for reasons I can’t figure out they were much less work even when 4,2,& newborn 😂
Like I mentioned, I have a lot of help and work only 1-2x a week (the equivalent of a Kate schedule for us non royals😉) But there are definitely still moments when I feel overwhelmed– and the house is far from perfect, the meals FAR from fancy etc.
As someone with three kids and help, it still isn’t easy. Unless you’re a completely removed parent, there are moments where it is really hard. Sure, she has more resources but I don’t think it’s untrue.
Think it would help if she were more active and visible in the communities in a real way so it’s more than lip service but she’s able to experience what they’re experiencing. I’m sure her team gets her good info but it needs to be more genuine, that said, I think she’s fine here but it comes off a bit lite/distant. She doesn’t need to be poor to relate but invested and compassionate, doing the work to get to put herself in their shoes. Kate doesn’t come off as a people person. She seems very lovely though. Give it time.
There’s nothing wrong with what she said. Even if you have help, parenting is hard.
Agree. SOMEBODY has to champion a cause so why not her??? She can’t win,
She said, “You get a lot of support with the baby as a mother particularly in the early days.” That statement was totally untrue, some unfortunately have to manage alone.
This has always been the disconnect IMO. Yes, she is still the parent and sometimes no matter how much money you have, when your kid throws up on you for the 10th time in an hour, or you are trying to decide if they have another ear infection or not, it’s hard.
But something just always falls flat to me about these speeches of hers. There is a tone of “I’m just like you!” To them and she’s…:not. Her family life is not like any of ours. There’s having resources and help and then there’s being the cambridges.
I don’t think it makes her a bad person, because like Kaiser said I’m sure she means well, and she can’t really come out and say “when my kids drive me crazy my husband and I jet off to Fiji for a week and recharge!” But I still think her team could do a slightly better job rather than pushing the “she’s just like every other mother” angle.
Yes the disconnect comes out when she gives these speeches and yeah she needs someone better to write for her. I’ve said before she really need proper media training, she tries but fails to create a connection with the subject matter and her audience. Part of it is how the speech is written and the rest is her delivery.
She is not a natural public communicator and she struggles to convey empathy – she really really needs proper help. Diana worked with Richard Attenborough on her public speaking – acting would really really help her in her communication.
Except she wasn’t giving a speech. Apparently she was speaking to someone at an event and there is no way to divine her level of connection with the other person based on that line.
As far as being the wrong messenger, isn’t that the actual “job”? Show up and shine a light on issues. Disconnect and lack of struggle in life pretty much applies to all of them.
Even if this wasn’t an actual speech, she has done enough of these events and made enough comments along these lines that I don’t think those of us saying “there is a disconnect” are speaking without context. Sid she is not comfortable speaking off the cuff, which many people aren’t, then she should have some better talking points for conversations like this.
AGAIN (because I feel like people are very upset that some of us are meh on these comments) I think Kate means well and I don’t think she is trying to be all la-dee-da here. I just think she needs some better prep.
Yes she needs a speechwriter to help her convey her message better. If we need people to clarify what she is saying or the intent behind her words she is not expressing herself properly.
Add to that it is not just what you say but what you do that counts. So if she simply shows up once a year to her patronage and never does follow ups or in depth and active planning and preparation, people will conclude she is not sincere.
Many celebrities have spoken about their own struggles with motherhood. Also postpartum depression can affect anyone regardless of how much help you have, Diana suffered from it.
It doesn’t matter the amount of resources; as a parent, you set the pace and it is difficult to know the right thing to do. I can see where even with all of those advantages help does fall away after year one. That baby isn’t a baby anymore and people aren’t as excited to help.
It’s almost like saying that if someone is privileged they have no right to any kind of struggle, and that’s not true either.
It’s not that you don’t have the right to any kind of struggle. It’s more about acknowledging your struggles, I guess? I think I would respect this approach from her more if she was more open. Like, come out and say “look, I know I have three nannies and I am never worried about paying bills or household chores etc. but last week I got a call from school because Charlotte had bitten another student and that was a tough call, because how do I discipline that hours after the event? What do I say to the teacher and the other parent?”
(Can you tell I had a biter….)
It’s hard because they don’t want to share too many details about their kids or their personal lives and I get that.
But as long as she is just speaking in generalities about how “parenting is hard!” Then it is always going to fall a bit flat.
She literally admitted that she has help and yet she still sometimes struggles. So she’s doing what you asked yet you’re still being critical. She wasn’t giving a speech, but having a conversation with someone at the charity.
The thing is, 90% of the charities that any of these royals participate in are not something they can completely relate to. The point is to point a spotlight on them.
But this is what many of us mean when we say it “falls flat.” Kate acknowledges that she has help but she doesn’t give off the vibe that she realizes the extent of her privilege. I’m not just talking about nannies.
It’s not that rich people don’t have problems. It’s that their problems are different from mine and someone like Kate should be wary of saying things like “every parent faces the same struggles.”
Shrug. It’s clear there is a divide on her comments and that’s okay.
But every parent does face the same struggles—is the baby developing normally, eating enough, getting enough stimulation, is it healthy, etc. It doesn’t matter how much money you have. Look at Michael Buble—no amount of money can insulate your kid from cancer. We have no idea what goes on behind closed doors.
Well said Muffy. And on top of all the normal struggles, Kate gets to worry about how her eldest will literally have the weight of the monarchy on his shoulders. Will he be suited to the roll? Will he like it? Will he be unhappy? Will the other kids feel left out or like they are living in his shadow? I think she actually did a good job of expressing that all parents, regardless of whether they are privileged, share some things in common. The more common ground we have the more we can help each other.
I do think every parent, regardless of privilege, will have anxiety for their kids, and hopefully have that deep, fierce forever love. But privilege makes just about every other aspect of parenting different.
We were with my husband’s grandmother over Christmas. She’s a total delight but she’s old, old money and still lives on a sprawling estate with a staff of several people. We had our 9yo and our baby with us. She talked about how, when her sons were born she had night nannies and day nannies. She admitted that it meant her life didn’t change that much. She did what she wanted and spent time with her kids quite a bit, but never had that feeling of exhaustion or exasperation.
Her sons grew up to be lovely people and they all have a very functional, happy relationship so I can’t see that it did any damage. But holy smokes, my tired a$$ couldn’t help but think about how different parenting would be if you did it that way!
🙂 Downton Abbey!
I think I would miss all the bedtimes and bath times but doing it all myself is all I know.
Yes, we all love our children and want the best for them and all worry about what that means and are we doing it but bone tired is a specific parenting condition I just don’t believe she’s experienced.
Haha, my husband and I jokingly call it “visiting Downton Abbey” when we go see her. Her driver usually picks us up at the airport. It’s kind of nuts. She really is a relic from an earlier era, but also very generous and lovely.
She sounds always so dumb
So do you
Don’t think Kate sounds dumb at all.
I actually dont think what she said was bad. I think it is fine, but I’m also not a parent. I believe the message she was trying to convey was fine. Its possible she needs to work on her speech writing, maybe work with an editor but for the most part she seems to be doing fine. All of these people are going to have a hard time just relating. They are all in extremely privileged situations and some have more practice in public speaking than others but I think she did okay.
Kate is a bad messenger for this cause.
She has a the resources in the world to help raise her children.
Perhaps if she could express the emotional stress of parenting it would come across better.
This is no big deal, she’s posh but we know what she means , she a human trying not to screw up her children and sometimes feeling alone about it. Plus a lot of the royals complain they had lonely childhoods w nanny’s. She probably feels pressure not to have a Charles 2.0
“…she’s a human trying not to screw up…”
If only DoS Meghan was granted this privilege from the DoC’s sycoph…..I mean, fans, then theres no doubt that the sh!trags WOULD. NOT. be able to foment and sustain their gleeful, racially-charged bashing of the DoS.
Kate’s PR in the beginning was all about her being much more put together, a support for Will, a background of classic grace but not relatable. It was like position her as the anti Diana image was worked, she’s stable. But it also left her distant so when issues like relating to everyday mothers comes up, it’s a different course and plus she’s not been out in this capacity much so it’ll take time to swing her image into someone we all relate to. The words feel generic, not bad, but generic.
She should hire her own brother for her speeches on mental health issues…what he wrote was meaningful, personal and yet moving.
Quote from this piece:But she made it sound like poor kids have mental health issues because they’re poor and from broken homes, and she doesn’t have any mental health issues because she came from a happy and loving wealthy family.
Well the above is even more offensive now that we know how her brother has struggled with depression, growing up in the same ‘happy and loving family’. Kate needs self awareness, empathy and then a good speechwriter.
Perhaps her brother had not been diagnosed yet. The family most likely was looking at him as scatter brained, tempermental James at the time. Maybe now she has a more nuanced idea of mental health.
I don’t believe it’s Kate’s privilege that’s the problem, it’s that she hasn’t been able to find an articulate way to show her sincerity. She has the ideas, but cannot translate them in a relatable way. That quote, although I got her meaning, fell flat. Perhaps she’s afraid of sounding pompous. Yet, there is a way to relate to the ordinary person without sounding out of touch. Raising a future king has mental health implications too. Just last night, my daughter who has been sick all last week, had an anxiety attack because she was fearful of doing bad on her science test. She is only in 5th grade. I had to tell her to take a breath and to remember she is only 10, she’s been sick. That’s just for a test. If my little over-achiever is going through that, I can only imagine what it’s like for a small child to come to terms with being a future king. Kate has things to worry about too.
She actually sounds quite insane with that stance regarding this particular interview…like…has your entitlement skewed your perspective regarding life…THAT MUCH??!
If I were the Interviewer…I’m here to tell you….my non-verbals would have gotten me banned by the KP…
Kate needs to learn how to be empathetic WITHOUT putting herself in the narrative…because there is NOTHING that a “regular” person with children deals with…that she would deal with…and that goes from medical care….personal safety….education….NOTHING….
But it wasn’t an interview. She was having a private conversation with someone. I also disagree that Kate does not deal with what a regular person with children deal with. What about loneliness in the early years, anxiety and post natal depression? Are people with wealth immune to these?
She and Harry and William all have blind spots when it comes to involving themselves in the narrative. I think actively listening and keeping the focus on that person instead of having the person relate to them is something they all need to work on.
You hit the nail on the head Natalie.
Hmmm…..I am actually agreeing with Natalie S…Wow!
She tries so hard to connect with whomever she’s speaking to, but it usually falls flat.
Instead of comparing herself and her struggles as a parent through how much help she gets vs needs, which will usually always be more than the resources others have, she could commiserate through what parenting creates: your connection with your children, your anxiety over their well being and health, etc. Things that are Universal – her talking about being left alone in terms of help is very disconnected and unrelateable as she has at least 2 nannies, staff, cleaners and not really a full time job.
At least she tries. Not everyone has the gift of charm and loquaciousness. Some of us who are introverts struggle with superficial chit chat
I’m an introvert so I can attest how difficult chit chat is. However, when I’m at work it’s not a struggle because I know what I’m talking about and I usually put on my “work” persona.
She’s been talking about the same thing for over 4 years now. She still can’t get her message across and that’s because she’s not working on her public speaking and it shows.
Well I admit, parenting was difficult, and it never ends. But I would have found it way easier if it had nannies, cooks, cleaners, someone to do the laundry, grocery shopping etc. It’s all the juggling parents have to do, in addition to parenting, and to be relieved of those would take much of the load off. She means well, but I can’t say I relate to her struggles. JMO.
It falls flat because her attempts at empathy focus solely on “see, we’re all the same” instead of “I am lucky to have all this help and privilege and I still struggle in these ways..” which would make her sound a bit less tone deaf
Her comment about all the help when the baby comes rubbed me the wrong way. A lot of mothers don’t have help, myself included in that. She speaks without much thought to how us mere mortals experience things. She lives in such a self-imposed bubble and doesn’t even bother to try to relate to the people she’s supposedly relating to.
^ This.
Rmbr when gwenneth paltrow got a similar kind of blowback or saying something just like this,
Yeeeeep. I mean, yes, parenting is hard. But if I had had even one hour a day where I was able to just go do SOMETHING without having to take baby along, or someone to take a feeding or change a diaper, it would’ve felt like a freaking vacation. We lived 3,000 miles from my family and my husband’s family was 5 hours away (and is all about his brother and his wife and their kids). Husband was gone more than he was home with the navy and even when he was home, he worked nights or graveyard. I still had to be everything to everyone, postpartum be damned.
Hearing these women be so flippant about a real struggle they will never know anything about irritates the crap out of me.
I have worked part time since having my baby and now I am about to go to work full-time next month. I’m super stressed about it. I know Kate struggles, but she doesn’t lay awake at night wondering if she can call out of work the next day or not. She has the choice to take her kids to school and then work later in the day if she wants. She can go a week without working if she wants.
Ther is no way Kate can relate to mothers who have to work to make ends meet, however I’m sure most mothers, rich or poor are anxious and worried that their children are safe well and happy.
So, I went to a training over the weekend for women who want to become better public speakers. One thing the trainers said was a speaker needs to connect their personal story to the story they are telling their audience. It makes people seem relatable and authentic. I think thats the problem with Kate. She hasnt quite mastered the ability to relate her story to her audience in a way that is authentic and relatable.
She would be better served narrowing her focus on a cause and advocating for them when she speaks rather than trying to relate personal experiences. Also visiting actual people who are struggling would help too. I remember Sarah speaking about and advocating for people suffering from Motor Neuron Disease. Sarah actually visited and spent time with them which she says helped get her through a really difficult time.
This wasn’t a public speech though. This was a snippet from a conversation with a woman at an event. We don’t know the context of the comments or the rest of the conversation.
She doesn’t have to worry about paying for childcare, but she does have to worry about her first born being King!
Lmfao! It’s literally a position he was born into and did nothing to deserve, just like the rest of them. The only thing that might happen is the monarchy is no more by the time anything were expected of him, and he won’t be king, oh the horror! As it stands now William will be king as well and has rarely worked. Lol what a joke.
The kid has literally been on lists targeted for assassination. Terrorists have encouraged that he be attacked at school. He will live his life in a glass bubble. So you’re dead wrong. The “only thing” that might happen to him is not that the monarchy will be gone. No amount of privilege in the world prevents a parent from worrying about the health and safety of their child.
It’s just so ignorant to say everyone experiences the same struggle because that is flatly untrue. I sure as heck don’t experience the same struggle as the Mom I saw yesterday pushing her child’s wheelchair into the back of a van. Or the parents of child with special needs and developmental challenges. Or families struggling financially. Or the parents I know who bear the huge emotional, physical and financial burden of caring for their daughter who has cerebral palsy from birth injury. What they go through on a daily basis would blow your mind.
This is where Kate needs to get off her butt, get out there and visit parents who have these kind of struggles so she can develop some enlightened empathy. She is simply demonstrating how removed from and clueless she is about the world around her making these kind of vacuous statements.
CB needs a ‘like” button.
That is all.
Why is she showing off Diana’s former ring like she just got engaged? Looks thirsty.
I was wondering about that pose, too. Is she in the middle of moving her hand, or has it become an ingrained habit to show off Big Blue every time she is in public?
…do you want her to keep her left hand in her pocket at all times? The weird angle looks like the photo was taken mid-gesture, maybe just before or after she waved.
The last time Kate gave a speech about this, she said “Even I, who have more help than most, have struggled with feelings of inadequacy and doubt.”
I think that’s a perfect statement and an example of why this is important to her.
Phrasing it that way sounds much better. I’m sure she has the same feelings of inadequacy that most new mothers have but admitting to it while acknowledging the amount of help she has sounds much more empathetic.
Parenting is hard and I’m sure she has added pressure that we don’t understand being in the spotlight and raising a future king. I know a few people who are in a higher socioeconomic class and they say that there is pressure for their kids to get into the right schools, play instruments, learn another language, generally excel and compete with their peers from a very young age.
I know Kate gets a lot of grief here for being lazy but I’ve always thought she prefers to be with her kids. If she were a middle class woman she’d be a typical stay at home mom for sure. I just wish she would acknowledge that she has help and admit that she is luckier than most of us.
I think these speeches fall flat because she focuses on the wrong things or says the wrong words. In the quote given, she talks about how you get support when the baby is younger and then it falls away, but if you’re the Duchess of Cambridge, you get as much support as you want times infinity. If she says, “No matter how much help you have, as parents we tend to second guess our choices, and having little lives dependent upon you and your choices causes anxiety we can all relate to,” or “When you’re children are sick or misbehaving, it’s difficult to know the right answer, or feel like you’ve made the right choice.” I’d be like, yeah, we DO have that in common.
She should never ever say “everyone experiences the same struggle” because a) it makes her look insincere, because she does not have the same struggle and never will, and b) it’s not true. The point is we all have different struggles, and circumstances, but there are similar concerns that hit all parents, for the most part. Struggle is a word she should stay away from, I think, when referring to herself at all. Just yikes.
She. Didn’t. Give. A. Speech. This was from a conversation she was having with a single person.
Honestly, I think my life wouldn’t be as hard if I had Nanny Maria helping take care of my young kid and if I didn’t have to go to work every day to support my little family.
Kate has acknowledged her privilege with having more help and resources than most mothers in at least one speech I can think of off the top of my head. I think what she’s talking about here is how the first year of a child’s life is spent with lots of doctor appointments and advice/guidelines for care, but as they get older a parent’s emotional security net of knowing they’re doing the right thing for their child falls away and the anxiety about doing parenting “right” comes in. There are certain emotional fears and worries that most parents would connect on and recognize in each other no matter how much help they have.
She has no right to even try to relate to working moms, single moms, stay-at-home moms or any other woman who has 50 things to juggle all by herself, because in her case even if gets overwhelming, because the kid is sick or throwing a tantrum she can have 10 nannies to help her in 10 seconds and she will have 3 best pediatricians at her home in like half an hour. So, yes, she is a mom and she understands that kids can be tough, but no, she has no right to relate to other ladies because she has no clue whatsoever about what kind they are dealing with on daily basis.
I absolutely cringed at this; it’s completely tone deaf. If you are poor, if you have no family nearby, if you are a single parent, if you have a special needs child, or if you are a parent of a targeted minority, you have extra challenges. For a wealthy woman cosseted by privilege and family to say all parents face the same challenges is just so so wrong.
I’m not the least bit impressed with her. She is the wrong person for these sorts of charities.
Same. I said below that she needs to ditch the attempt at helping out with serious issues. She doesn’t have the volunteer experience or education to tackle these problems.
She needs a reset. Gather her entire horrible wardrobe, auction it off to benefit that charity that hired Ed Sheeran to replace her, buy a new, muted, professional wardrobe at Max Mara, and keep her focus to garden shows, scout meetings, and gallery visits. With Meghan taking on the impactful, controversial issues, no one can say that the royals aren’t covering them and Kate can stick to her wheelhouse- no insult intended here- showing up and smiling pleasantly. The royalists will always love her bc of respectability politics and the anti-royalists wont like her no matter how many mine fields she walks through, so she might as well not court them. The PR spin is that ‘the future queen consort can’t overshadow her husband with controversy’. Everyone will buy that.
But this embarrassing the entire street every time she shows up in an ugly new bespoke dress and sticks her foot in her mouth needs to stop.
Perfectly said.
Daily Fail comments dragged Kate for days for being out of touch. She has a battalion of help for her kids. The message is right but the messenger may be wrong. Seven years with the Firm and Kate should be expert in giving speeches and messaging.
I gotta be honest, I don’t think Kate cares about anything other than her family. She is doing this because she has to. That is why every time she talks is comes from a place of indifference.
For her to be taken seriously she would have to put in the work of seeing other people and their children and exactly what kind of struggles they experience in raising their kids. In eight years she has only consistently attended Wimbledon and the rest of her patronages get an occasional attendance. So for her to try to come up with a plan to fix other people’s issues comes off as shallow because there’s no evidence she really cares about these issues. Showing up once a year isn’t enough.
+1
does that green dress have SHOULDER PADS? i know kate loves the 80s but she’s already got wide shoulders and slim hips – why accentuate that?
Kate is a history of art graduate with no taste at all. No intuitive feeling for proportions. If you saw the outline of her body without her head (long hair) you would suspect she were a young slim man.
She should have a “proper speech writer” prepare …. what? Her individual conversations? Because that’s what these quotations are from. Not a prepared speech, but a conversation between herself and another parent. Why it’s being reported as a speech is beyond me.
A speech writer can help with talking points. And I think somebody has, it’s just a matter of execution, which requires practice.
It’s fine to acknowledge her own struggles but she at the same time she needs to acknowledge her struggle it’s the same as a regular mother who has to worry about daycare and bills.
Meghan wouldn’t be able to whine about her life and get away with it, the press will come for her. They came down on her hard for wearing dark nail polish for crying out loud. Any struggles Meghan have will have to be kept to herself.
I took her comments to mean that before the age of one, so much of child-rearing or best-practices is prescribed. How often the kid should eat, how many hours to sleep, what limits on activities. (I am not saying that raising a baby is easy!) But as your kids get older, there are more questions and fewer answers on how to best raise them. I am now entering the kids-and-internet stage of parenting and I am terrified, even though I have a lot of resources and privileges. I think all parents worry about raising their kids in the best way and communities can be so important in providing that guidance and support.
If she phrased it as post-partum depression and other struggles are universal, it would make sense. But a single mom working minimum wage vs the duchess with nannies and housekeepers and a cash cow father-in-law? She sounds out of touch by not acknowledging the difference.
Well said, Bobafelty.
I can get nervous meeting new people and can’t always find the right words. Some people are very confident that the person listening will stand there and give them time to speak. Not me, I will rush to get the the point as I feel the listeners time is more valuable than my own. I suppose I have sympathy with someone who seems to lack confidence. It’s not ideal in her situation and she needs to work at it.
Meh, the message is fine and she has acknowledged her privileged position before.
BUT: where is William in all this? Is he asked questions on parenting? Is he struggling with it?
I appreciate what she’s saying! Parenting is hard, even with lots of help. For me the mental stress of trying to keep everyone safe and be healthy is HARD. I have two small, close in age babies and everything is a hazard. To what blinds you use in your home, car seat, choking hazards, a freaking bath can be deadly if you turn your back for a second!!!! Nobody every told me how much I would worry 24/7. I do the best I can, and hope it’s enough…I’m just trying to keep everyone safe. Hell, when they are brand new, you even have to worry while they sleep. I still worry while they sleep and check on them. Swim lessons are in our future this Spring. The worrying is never ending.
Britain has the NHS (national health service). And they do provide health services to all people and that includes mental health services. Not that Kate would ever support the NHS as that would be “interfering in politics”.
As for Kate: she has so much staff that she can take a break from parenting and housework ANY TIME. If her kids had any kind of mental health problems there would be a famous therapist VISITING THEM discreetly.
As for Kate not having mental health issues due to her “happy” middle class family: ROFL. The Middleton sisters do have plenty of psycho issues:
no work and no employment and no hobby. Nothing they devote themselves to.
find rich titled husband cause else life is meaningless.
no plan what to do with life.
need mummy’s help with everything.
no taste and no style despite degree in history of art / english literature.
spending and shopping to compensate for psycho issues.
flashing crotch and bum as a psycho reaction to husband/marriage/royal duties.
abusing sport for the purpose of starving themselves.
not being able to deliver a short simplistic speech despite having had the best education money can buy.
history of art graduate asking if Faberge eggs were still in production.
The problem isn’t Kate’s words or the lack of a speech writer. The problem is Kate herself. I know this sounds super harsh to say, but the reality is that she’s exceptionally awkward when trying to speak to other people or make small talk of any variety. She can be charming in a lot of respects, but not in this regard, and the result is that she comes off as insincere.
I feel bad because the truth is that it’s not her fault. Everyone is good at connecting on some levels, but not others. But some people, like the Queen, hone their skills over time, and that’s probably what Kate is going to wind up doing as the years go by and she gets better at this.
This might be over her head. We’ve heard time and again that she’s not terribly bright. Calculating, but not super smart. This might be beyond her bandwidth. If she leaned in to the easy things and picked out a muted, quality, modern wardrobe, no one would care what she did. She needs to auction off her entire terrible wardrobe to benefit that charity she ignored, get herself to Max Mara and stick to gallery openings, scout meetings, and garden shows. Leave the controversial, complicated issues to Meghan. It’s not like she doesn’t have the cover for it, ‘the “future queen (consort)” can’t overshadow her husband with her controversy.’
Why doesn’t Meghan auction off her poorly fitted wardrobe? She spends ,ore on clothes than Kate does.
Kate would benefit from doing less actual important important work I agree.
Just showing up and getting rid of overly girl clothes would be great.
She doesn’t have people skills because she never practised them. Have you ever seen her out and about with girlfriends? Before her marriage to William this was one of the valid criticisms: that Kate doesn’t seem to socialise much at all. And being William’s hanger-on who merely looks menacingly at the competition during drinking trips to Mahiki doesn’t really count. Kate has never worked so she never had to socialise with colleagues from work either.
This is when she should throw Heads Together out there….because yes, she has NO idea how difficult it is. I mean even if she watched documentaries about it, read every book on it, or simply has a good imagination, we may think we know what it’s like, but we don’t unless we’ve lived it.
Sorry not making sense. Head cold. Back to Heads Together. One thing all parents must worry about regardless of status….”am I doing the right thing for my child?” That’s just one question of many, but it’s what popped into mind. So I think she does have good intentions, but she does need more guidance on her speeches also.
Speaking of Heads Together, what happened to it? There hasn’t been anything in month. Since mental health issues haven’t been solved, it’s a mystery as to why this initiative was dropped.
Just because she lives in the weird royal world she lives in doesn’t mean that she hasn’t struggled. It is so heartless to suggest that because she is rich she cannot have bad days, feel sad or down, struggle, and have a hard time.
I’m an American and a democrat, and I’m fascinated by these conversations in and around the British royals– I cannot get a grasp on what it is that people want from them in the here and now. Kate is not qualified to “lead” initiatives on early childhood or any other area of major social policy–and how is she to have a meaningful program concerning early childhood or mental health and be totally apolitical? Support for universal childcare, the NHS, decent housing. etc. are all crucial to addressing these problems and they are all issues that would require major political consensus and financial outlay.
I know Kate has Nanny Maria but who are the other nannies everyone is talking about? Do they have names or have they ever been seen?
I think it’s obvious now that she is a hands on mum and would rather do that than royal duties but just because she has money doesn’t mean she won’t have some of the concerns of other parents. Like, is her child happy, getting on with other children, being bullied – or bullying – bright, talented, well, stable.
She has many other concerns too, like her children being followed by paps, being terrorist and media targets, going to be happy in the spotlight. George at any rate is going to have huge responsibilities and unlike showbiz or political personalities – and Kate herself – her children have not chosen this life.
As for her not being bright – she is, you know. Check out her school exam grades.