Marie Kondo: Most people have three times the amount that they think

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I used to live in Germany and I can speak German somewhat, but I know I sound clueless and my grammar is atrocious. It really challenged my sense of self, particularly professionally, as I didn’t feel confident using a different language. (That’s how and when I started CB!) Seeing Marie Kondo be a boss and speak Japanese on her show and in interviews is inspiring to me. We should have more experts and famous people just doing interviews and shows in their first language. Netflix is particularly groundbreaking by featuring so much content in other languages, and I hope this trend continues.

Marie did an interview with Access Live with her interpreter, Marie Iida. (You can learn more about Marie Iida here. She’s worked hard to get where she is! I wonder if it’s confusing that they have the same first name.) I really enjoyed this interview, you can see it below, and I have transcribed some of it. Kat Hoover fangirls over her and it’s cute.

When did you realize that your show was a sensation?
One week after the show went on the air I saw the reaction on social media.

What do you think is resonating with so many people?
Tidying has the ability to change and transform your life and you can see that on the show.

What about thrift stores getting more donations?
It surprised me that after the show [people] took action and implemented my method.

How did your method happen?
I have been interested in tidying since I was 5 years old. I’ve made it my life’s mission to figure out how we can tidy better. The method came to me in high school.

Why do you tackle categories not rooms?
Things are scattered around our homes. This way you can get an accurate assessment of how much you own in each category.

What about ‘respect your belongings’
The method is not a superficial method, it’s about figuring out what you want to cherish, who you are and what your values in life are.

On figuring out if something sparks joy
It’s so important that we touch each item. By doing so, you’re confronting each item and seeing how you react to it physically you get a positive emotion or a negative emotion. That allows you to understand what you like to surround yourself [with]

On thanking things you’re getting rid of
It teaches us the kind of things that we don’t have use for. By posing this question to yourself it allows you to learn more about yourself and it also affects the way you shop moving forward.

On laying everything out on the bed
By making this big pile of clothes it’s only when you do that that you become aware of how much you possess. Most people have three times the amount that they think they do.

After that, at 6:33, they show Marie’s folding method and her enviable drawers. As I’ve mentioned before, I never quite got the hang of her folding probably because I send hate through my hands, not love like she recommends. I beat my clothes into submission and they revolt. These quotes are all things we’ve heard from Marie on the show, but I like to hear them again I need to adopt her method. As for having three times the stuff you think you do *raises hand*. I know I need to do this, I know I need to make a pile of all my clothes especially and to purge, but I’m scared! My house is superficially clean, my closets are not disaster areas, and I donated and purged so many things about a year and a half ago. I could do much more though. I don’t know if I can connect to items emotionally. Maybe I’m just dead inside, but not much sparks joy in me lately.

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71 Responses to “Marie Kondo: Most people have three times the amount that they think”

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  1. manda says:

    The thing with her clothing folding method is that you have to do it every time you do laundry and I am the sort of person that puts away the clean stuff when she needs to use the basket again. And I actually do fold my t-shirts and jeans the way she says, but I can’t get them to stand up like she does. So I still have to stack things, or else have a completely full drawer, otherwise they end up all messy again. Also, I’m NOT pulling everything I own and putting it in one big pile. I’m just not going to do that.

    I am trying though, and I think ultimately that is the point. I whittled away one storage box worth of christmas decorations (down to five from six) and already have one black bag of clothes, and that’s only going through half of one of my closets!!

    • Millenial says:

      Yeah, I’m doing laundry for 4 people — I would love to have drawers like hers, but realistically most days I’m just trying to get stuff put away quickly before the baby wakes up or my three year old asks me to play. If she wants to make that a priority, good for her, but I decided not to let myself feel guilt for not having perfectly organized drawers.

      • manda says:

        Exactly. Which is I guess why she wants you to reduce what you have overall, and I am working on that. I’m not really trying to follow her method, but I am still inspired by a lot of what she says and does!

      • HeyThere! says:

        MILLENIAL, 100% my life! I decided to let go of that guilt that my home is never spotless because 4 people live here, and a large dog. 3 of us literally never leave the house. LOL Also, nobody ever does and said they wished they spent more time cleaning. My babies are my priority and if that means things are slapped together for a few years, I’m okay with that…and if you aren’t, here the door! BYE!

        Also note this was/is a HUGE step for me. I tried to do it all for almost a full 10 months but I was exhausted, miserable, forgoing sleeping to keep up appearances. Also, I’m just trying to keep up with the sizes/seasons/toys either my babies. They grow so fast and I’m currently trying to collect and donate all the infant toys, since my youngest is past that. BUT I hate clutter and I’m just doing the best I can.

      • Millenial says:

        Heythere, I’m legit scared to do a toy purge. I’m going to need a glass of wine first just to muster the courage to ask my three year old to “give” some of his toys away. I’m sure there’s a good way to broach the subject, but I haven’t thought of it yet.

    • Eliza says:

      If you stack them the short way should not fall over as much. Or you can invest in some drawer dividers ($2-10).

      I’m ocd when i fold and put away (i totally put in color order because the rainbow makes me happy – i have issues i know). But it gets messy over time until i redo laundry which is not as often as it’s a production lol. So for me the upright is only easier because i can see everything. But i use traditional stacking on shelves because the standing up looks so messy.

      • manda says:

        I am ocd with color organization in my closet and I too love the way it looks. It also makes it easy to find what you are looking for.

    • SarahLee says:

      If you don’t put everything in a pile, you aren’t doing the method. I did it over the weekend and it was horrifying and ultimately, fantastic! Keep trying with the folding. It’s worth it.

    • Westie says:

      I followed everything she said to do EXCEPT the folding and her method still works without it! I highly recommend her method even if you don’t ever do the folding. It helped me feel more confident in making decisions for the first time in my life . It really did have a magical impact on my life. She says you have 6 months after reading the book before actually taking action.
      ONE TIP: I recommend keeping a small box for sentimental clothes that you store with your sentimental items (not with your other clothes because you are not wearing them) so that you don’t throw out something you regret. But still be prepared to get rid of some things you do regret later. She says this is part of it so it may not be for everyone.

    • Algernon says:

      I didn’t do the pile, but I did turn all my hangers so the open side faces me. Then, as I wore things, I turned the hangers around the “right” way. After a month, I could see what I hadn’t worn. I ended up donating half my clothes. It takes a little longer than the pile, but it is an effective way to see what you’re actually using in your closet.

      • SarahLee says:

        But it’s not about what you wear or don’t wear. It’s about what brings you joy. Sounds trite, but there is a big difference. I got rid of things that I wore frequently because I never thought I looked good in them.

    • Lady D says:

      “Also, I’m not pulling everything I own and putting it in one big pile.” Scary thought isn’t it? I did it about 2 months ago, and I love opening my closet and drawers now, love it. It’s peaceful energy, not scattered, distracting energy. I should have done it 10 years ago.

  2. Sojaschnitzel says:

    @Celebitchy wo hast Du gewohnt in Deutschland? Und warum? Grüße aus Düsseldorf!

    Also don’t worry about your current lack of joy. I’m pretty sure it’s temporary and it will come back after the next election.

  3. Alissa says:

    I go through and Purge my clothes once a year, so I’m not too worried about that. honestly the only things I could really Purge would be movies and books, and I’m not doing that.

    • jan90067 says:

      I purge my closets 2-3 times a year (and it’s been mostly because of weight loss, so yay! lol). I have even given things (to charity) with tags on. My thing is, if I’ve not worn something in a year, it goes. If I haven’t worn it much, it goes in another pile to get another “look” or “try on”, if I’m still “meh”, it goes.

      I used to keep everything, afraid I “might” want it again, or “what if I gain the weight back? I won’t have anything to wear!”, but you can’t live with “what ifs?”.

      The purge works, and I really DO feel better when I put the closet and drawers back, with things folded neatly and coordinated.

  4. Cee says:

    I used to interpret English-Spanish and it’s hard. You have to do it in real time, too. You take something in one language and not only do you have to understand it completely, you have to be able to retell it in another language, as faithfully as possible. After a whole day your head is mush.

  5. Vava says:

    We recently had a house fire and our house has been emptied of everything. When we move back in 6 months from now, there is going to be a reckoning! And a huge garage sale. 🤗

  6. Clare says:

    I *really* want to do this – my family moved a lot when I was a kid and we always left loads of stuff behind (moved continents multiple times), and I think for this reason I struggle to get rid of things that I may some day need, or feel like I should keep for ‘memories’.

    Need to rethink and reevaluate the value and purpose of things!

    • Who ARE These People? says:

      Aw, that’s understandable. I moved a lot as an adult, first on my own and then with my husband, and we found ourselves hanging onto some things for the sake of continuity (and to avoid buying all big pieces each time, like furniture – we just make it work). It took some time to sort out what really did give us a sense of ‘ourselves’ along the space-time continuum – the true security blanket – and what was just “stuff” to prop up a false sense of permanence.

  7. Mego says:

    I confess that this Fall I let things around the house go until it reached a critical mass and then nearly killed myself cleaning before Christmas. After all that work I still had a dirty house.

    This January I embarked on a massive decluttering project taking on one room or closet at a time and I learned something important. You cannot keep a house clean if it is cluttered. Too many things are just dust magnets and you can’t get at spaces if there is too much stuff occupying it. My husband is a bit of a hoarder and had heaps of things cluttering shelves and surfaces so I scooped it upand put it in containers. His massive collection of cd’s that have been sitting untouched for 10 years disappeared as did a collection of untouched dvd’s. If you aren’t using it why keep it?

    Interestingly it wasn’t Marie who inspired me to do this but my disgust during the pre Christmas cleanup. Now I have become a tidy person and my family is trying hard too. Hope we keep it up!

    • Who ARE These People? says:

      With my husband’s papers, we put them into a box and labeled it for 6 months later – put it in the basement – if he didn’t go into it in 6 months, it would be tossed.

      *Of course* it got tossed.

      CDs/DVDs could be the same except donate to a book sale or library sale or senior center…

  8. Eric says:

    Someone should send Marie Kondo to the White House to inform Emperor Zero he has three times as many as he needs….
    Children
    Treasonous administrators
    False teeth
    Neck skin
    Pounds
    Stephen Millers
    AquaNet
    Problematic umbrellas
    Hamberders
    Covfefe
    Indictments
    Subpoenas

  9. Esmom says:

    I have felt burdened by too much stuff for a while now. I’ve done a pretty good job of decluttering my clothes and books and my kids’ old toys (although we still have too many old board games that will probably never be played again).

    The harder stuff is kitchen and dining items like old or rarely used dishes and glassware, which I think my kids might someday want or need, and art and knickknacks that my family members have given me. They don’t really spark joy but I guess I feel guilty getting rid of them. Yet I don’t really want the stuff around. I wonder if reading her book and/or watching her show, which I haven’t yet done, would help me with a solution.

    • Lara K says:

      I struggled with dishware too. Then I took a quick trip to Target and realized I can re-stock a complete set of partyware for less than $100!!! Why suffer for years so I can save $5 on a new mug 3 years from now?
      It totally changed my perspective.

      Not that I donate everything, but I’m much more judicious about what I keep for occasional use.
      And my kids frankly can go to Ikea like a normal student :)

      • Esmom says:

        I hear you but one of the things that’s been bothering me that so much stuff is so easily attainable at Target or Ikea, it feels so wasteful and unsustainable. Same with cheap clothing. There’s already so much unused stuff floating around that recycling is a better way to go. My brother in law is such a purist, he refuses to buy any new furniture. He’s gotten so much great stuff on freecycle sites that I feel guilty buying anything new. Yet it is cheap and convenient to do so. Sigh.

      • Barcelona says:

        The only thing I want from my parents is photographs.
        I’m a minimalist, so I want minimum amount of stuff, but maximum quality.
        One very good quality cashmere sweater instead of 10 sweaters of who knows what it is made of.

    • Who ARE These People? says:

      Depending on your kids’ ages, you can ask them if they like each item, one by one. They usually know their taste. This is sentimental, we want them to have memories around the festive table … I go through this too. I also noticed my daughter’s taste is uniquely her own.

      You might select just one or two high-impact items for keeping, or one item per child, or some other formula. The kids will be able to stock everything they need from thrift shops that are already overflowing with donated items from previous generations and it’s only going to get “worse.”

      Same here on knick-knacks but with each round it gets easier. I might try the ‘take photos’ of it approach — it helped my husband with one of his “collections” (unsaleable).

      What should I do with my matchbooks? I wrote dates, restaurants, companions on the insides and tore out the matches. Now doesn’t that date me. Scrapbook? No one will want this after I die but I’ve been holding onto them.

      • Esmom says:

        Great ideas, thanks. Mine are teens and they do know what they like. Which is pretty much nothing that I like or have! My artsier son has pointed out a couple things he thinks are cool so those are no-brainers to keep, at least.

      • Alarmjaguar says:

        I totally did the same thing with matchbooks – I have them in a big jar, but I’ve wondered the same thing

    • tweeds says:

      As the kid of a mother who is ‘holding onto things for her kids’ unless its something valuable or truly one of a kind, donate it. We don’t really want it. And as a kid you feel guilty when your parents unload their own stuff onto you. and super frustrating. my mom wants to give me all of this really nice stuff but 1. its not my style and 2. i don’t have space for it. its exhausting. please do your kids a favor and just get rid of it instead of passing it on. and i assure you, this is a really almost all kids have.

      • Esmom says:

        So true. The reason I have so much stuff is because my mom has unloaded so much onto me! Time to break the cycle.

      • lucy2 says:

        I see so many older parents complaining their kids don’t want their stuff. The stuff in question is usually terribly dated and not really valuable, or the kids can’t afford a big house for all that stuff.
        Family heirlooms and valuable stuff? Sure. Anything beyond that, ask the kids, and don’t save stuff they say they don’t want.

      • Algernon says:

        Have you read The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning? It addresses heirlooms and passing on furniture. It helped my parents come to terms with things they love that their kids don’t want.

      • Amy Too says:

        SAME! I feel like I’m the thrift shop/Goodwill donation center for my parents and my in-laws. They clean house and declutter and just bring it to me. I already have four full sets of wedding china and I’m 31. When my grandparents died, my mom went through their things and while she didn’t actually want or need most of the stuff, she felt badly donating it or throwing it away so she gave a ton of stuff to me to assuage her guilt. That way it’s still in the family but not her problem. I’ve gotten much better at saying “no thank you” to most things that the parents and in-laws want to dump on me, but sometimes they’ll sneak it into my house, or give it to my husband, or send it home with my son after a sleepover at their house. My mother-in-law gives me unwanted food. Like constantly. She’ll throw a big party, but way too much snack and crap food, and then just dump l the leftovers with me. Opened bags of pretzels, popcorn, cookies, crackers, candies, soda. She doesn’t want it in her house bc it’s junk food and she doesn’t want to eat it. I don’t either though! If she buys a new brand of coffee and doesn’t like it, we get it. We’ve had a lot of really gross coffee over the years because she accidentally bought a super light roast decaf blend or something and rather than throwing it away or composting it, gave it to us. Your kids mostly don’t want stuff from you. Maybe a big item like a sofa or bed when they move out and need to furnish. But stuff like dishware, Knick knacks, tablecloths, Christmas decorations, not really. We end up replacing all the stuff you give us anyways with thins that are our own style eventually. And then WE feel badly for having to throw stuff out that was a “gift” from our parents.

  10. Eden75 says:

    If I have three times the stuff, I am in deep sh*t.

    I do a clothes purge once or twice a year but I still have a massive wardrobe. I have a lot of business clothes and gowns along with my casuals, so it’s pretty insane. I am currently deciding which gowns to sell, which is heartbreaking but I don’t wear them often enough to keep them all.

    The only thing I refuse to get rid of is my shoes. I have been collecting them since I was 12 (my feet have been the same size since then) and it is a pretty nice collection. I do toss ones regularly wear that have finally had their day but the rest are staying, even if only to be worn once a year. They are sitting in my vanity room right now waiting for their individual boxes to then be lined up and stacked in the closet. Most have the original packaging but after this many years, it’s falling apart. Good thing it’s a decent sized closet……… 😏😏

    Now, I’m gonna have to go fold my way through my dresser. I’m going to try it and see if I can keep that type of folding going. That’s a great idea and the hubby would be thrilled to have some drawer space.

  11. Goldengirlslover34 says:

    I used her method for the kids room and it was disturbing to see how many clothes my kids had. I actually felt sick and a bit guilty. We had so many items that we never used because we couldn’t see them. Their room feels so nice and airy now and all items are being used.

    I can’t wait to do this for my bedroom but I need to go to Ikea to purchase more drawer dividers and I neee some baskets.

  12. Kookila says:

    CB, I really feel you on the “beat your clothes into submission” concept. I am stingy with my money and really only buy clothes maybe once or twice a year. I only replace things when they are worn to death and have more holes than is socially acceptable. My father was a hoarder, so purging excess in my house can be a gratifying experience. I recently did a Facebook poll with my friends to see how many pairs of jeans they have, I only have three, and many of the responses were that people had lots of jeans but only fit into a couple pairs. Why hold onto items that someone else would appreciate and use much more than you do now? If shopping brings you joy, then be a shopping-support-person for someone else. But if you just feel you need to have it, then one might guess a person is trying to fill an emotional hole with crap. Right?

  13. tmbg says:

    I read the manga version of her book and in it they said she looks like a little fairy. She really does! I admit I’ve laughed at some of the sparking joy and thanking socks tips, but she’s adorable.

    I also wonder what to do when something sparks joy, stops sparking for several months and then once again starts sparking again. I have this happen to me far too often. My joy sparking items are more like unreliable flickering neon signs on the fritz. It’s not a steady thing.

  14. LoveBug says:

    Marie Kondo seems to be a lovely, kind and sincere woman and I think that her method is very
    useful and helps millions of people to live a more organized and streamlined life.
    Even though I have no clutter in my house, I have found her suggestions great.
    I grew up in Europe and in a household which was very clean and organized.
    We were an ordinary middle class family, not rich or poor.
    We bought things that we needed, shopping wasn’t for pleasure it was a chore.
    Although we had many books in our house.
    I’ve never seen a home in Europe that had a lot of ” stuff ” like I see often in North American households.
    For some reason this seems to be a more common issue in North America, not sure why.
    Maybe materialism is the main reason.

    • Baile says:

      @ LoveBug – It’s definitely materialism issue here in the United States. I’ve traveled the world for work and pleasure and it seems to me that it’s a problem in North America and not in other places. Less is more around the world, but not here.

    • noodle says:

      oh, I think Europe is well on their way to be just like North America re consumerism. It was the wars and all that came from them that made us stoic and proudly wear our suffering silently and convince ourselves we were ok and didn’t need/want for anything. Younger generations (post ussr or even late ussr. I’m in that group too) are fairly stuff obsessed and easily use credit cards where older generations used to weigh pros and cons and then save up and buy if they really needed the item.

      I love Kondo. She seems empathetic to people and their struggles with things. I wonder though, in which closet and how she has folded her skeletons cuz I’d like a few tips.

      • JANE says:

        Sorry, @ noodle, but I have to respectfully disagree.
        I was born and raised in Prague after the collapse of the Eastern Block. I moved temporarily back from the States to Prague to work on contract in 2015. My parents lived through the Communist system and my grandparents lived through the Second World War. After living in USA I can say with certainty that neither my generation nor the previous one or the younger generation has the consumerism bug as much as I’ve experienced in the USA. It’s on a totally different scale.
        Yes, my grandparents are more frugal than my parents and I and my friends and former schoolmates are less than my parents, but it is certainly light years away from the US.
        Shopping is a past time in the United States for many people without a doubt in my mind.

    • Esmom says:

      I think it’s materialism combined with the notion that new is somehow better. I don’t understand people who buy new furniture every few years, for example. I always think of how much ends up in landfills. I feel like it’s only a matter of time before the entire planet is cluttered with discarded junk, much of it still very usable, sigh.

      • Christin says:

        This is what makes me think twice about replacing furniture or tearing out perfectly functional cabinets, countertops, windows, etc. I am truly trying to “work with what I have”.

  15. minx says:

    Agree, people have far more than they think they do.

  16. Case says:

    I realized upon watching her show that I’m not so bad when it comes to clutter. I already go through my clothes at least once a year — sometimes every 6 months, winter and spring — and donate clothes I no longer wear or that don’t fit me well.

  17. adastraperaspera says:

    I really enjoyed her book, and it inspired us to donate a lot of unused items like clothes, dishes, etc. Still have about half a garage bay to go through (when it warms up)! At least we got it out of the house!

  18. Ashby says:

    Materialism is the real culprit.
    Too much stuff in the house, instead of money saved in the bank.
    A very North American problem, but unfortunately not exclusive to North America.

  19. lucy2 says:

    She’s so right on pulling all the clothes together and putting them on the bed. I had NO idea how much I had until I did that. Even though I moved 2 years ago and got rid of a bunch of stuff! But I packed gradually, so I didn’t face the huge mountain then. Doing it her way really makes you see it all, and more willing to let go of stuff. Now to go through everything else…
    My town does a big yard sale every year, and my street is always packed with shoppers. I’m hoping to unload a lot, and then donate the rest.

  20. Lisbon says:

    Most people have too much stuff laying around and not enough money in the bank.
    I will rather travel and create memories than have things that are good for only collecting dust.

    • noodle says:

      I love the quote I once read somewhere:
      “we spend money that we don’t have to buy stuff we don’t need to impress people we don’t like”
      it’s mostly true

      • Christin says:

        One of the things that has helped me is to stop being concerned about what someone else thinks. I think a lot of purchases really do tie to mindlessly following others.

        “Trend” rhymes with “spend” for good reason.

      • NYCTYPE says:

        I very much appreciate what Marie Kondo is teaching and I’m pretty sure she is helping a lot of people to be more careful of how much they accumulate and how they handle it, but at the same time the fundamental problem is not being addressed.
        Why are so many people buying so much stuff they don’t really need, but have barely any money set aside in their saving account for emergencies or even retirement.

  21. Barce says:

    Consumerism, too much consumerism in the United States is the problem. I’ve never seen it on the similar level anywhere else in the world and I’ve lived in 11 countries so far. Without acknowledging the problem of consumerism in America, no amount of folding will help. People are filling some hole in their lives with cheap junk and are left with no money to truly enjoy life.

  22. B says:

    I volunteered at a thrift store for 5 years and I have so many thoughts about all this.
    First, yes Americans have too much stuff. Tidy and purge!
    But, when you donate, consider whether what you are donating is clean and usable. Would you give it to a friend? Then yes donate it. Old underwear? Trash please. It will biodegrade. Promise. (I am not kidding. People donate everything.)
    Ultimately, Marie Kondo’s lesson is to be thoughtful about what you buy, and where you buy it. I only buy used furniture now, mainly from local auction houses. Just scored a Ralph Lauren sofa for $75. Same for books. I really try to avoid Target, TJMaxc etc because it’s just so much stuff and so impulse- buying prone.

    • Christin says:

      I donate clothing every year, and my rule is to never donate anything that I would not feel was a good deal. If something has a flaw (zipper jamming, small tear, etc.), it does not make the cut. I would never want someone to purchase something at a thrift store and being disappointed. It makes me happy to hope someone will be pleased with an item.

      Used underwear? No way. I’m not completely surprised someone would do that, though.

  23. Ana says:

    This method changed my life. Even though I have only started to do it with my stuff, I find that I have more room in my house not to buy more stuff, but to enjoy my space a little more. Also thanks to all the “just buy stuff that sparks joy” theory I have managed to save a ton last year.

  24. Ana says:

    This method changed my life. Even though I have only started to do it with my stuff, I find that I have more room in my house not to buy more stuff, but to enjoy my space a little more. Also thanks to all the “just buy stuff that sparks joy” theory I have managed to save a ton last year, and when I funally bought a new something it was something that to this day brings joy in my life.

  25. pinetree13 says:

    I need to do this. But my basement if filled with a changing table, rocking chair, a baby swing and countless clothes. I had a stillborn last year and we’ve decided not to try again. But I just cannot deal with the baby stuff and anytime my husband brings it up (because he is really anti-clutter) I get really angry and so he drops it.

    Like it’s literally so much stuff but the idea of getting rid of anything makes me feel tense and panicky and so it remains. As a museum to the child that will never be I guess. We also have a cupboard that is full of baby bottles and that is there too in my kitchen and I just never open it.

    • Lucy2 says:

      Oh I’m so sorry. That is a really difficult situation, and I’m so sorry you’re going through it. It may be best to talk with a therapist or someone who can help guide you through the process.

      • pinetree13 says:

        But then I’d have to admit I have a problem and my desire to stay in denial is thiiiiiiiiiiiicccccckkkkkkkkk

        Thanks for your comment though <3

    • Rosie says:

      Pinetree you’re grieving, it takes time. It’s still early days so be kind to yourself. When my Mum died her clothes stayed in the wardrobe for a good few years. Dad cleared her toiletries first, then her undies (“how many pairs of knickers do women need?”) We went through her clothes in a couple of goes so it wasn’t gone all of a sudden and so we could process it and let go. Her favourite puffa jacket is still at the back of the wardrobe to this day. It was a slow process we’re talking years not weeks.

      When you’re ready (you will be at some stage) maybe get rid of 1 thing. 1 bottle. You’ll know when the time is right so listen to your gut & heart. I’m so sorry for your loss. xx

      • Pinetree13 says:

        Thanks I guess since it’s been over a year I feel like I should be over it and I don’t understand why I’m still traumatized

        Oh and I do have a therapist but right now she’s on Maternity leave…iirrrroooooonnnnnyyyyyy

    • Blair Warner says:

      Oh, Pinetree, I’m really sorry. My heart breaks for you; there’s nothing more painful than losing a child. Please take time and be gentle with yourself. You will know when you’re ready and if it’s not for years, that is absolutely fine.
      Big hugs.

  26. NWRose says:

    I have baby no. 2 on the way and saw Marie’s show and started tackling the bedrooms in one weekend. We’ve moved around 3 states in the past 10 years and accumulated a lot. so far, 8 trash bags full of stuff we just don’t need or use. Plus, one of our guest rooms is turning into the new babys room and I cleared that closet clean! I was definitely ridden with anxiety at first but it got a lot easier as I went on. Hoping to get to the rest of the house before May :)

  27. Rosie says:

    Someone mentioned Swedish death cleaning which is great especially for older people. I read ‘The year of less’ which is extreme but inspiring. It’s not a how to book, it looks at the why. A very quick read.

    The thing that has enabled me to ditch over 50% of my clothes with no regrets was having my colours done. You will all probably laugh but it works for me. I’m a pale skinned auburn haired celt and always thought greens and browns etc suited me. Other people thought so too although I never felt good in them. So when I was classed as a summer it all made sense and I look so much better in pinks, blues and pinky browns, plums. My clothes work together, I look better, my make up works and I can walk through a shop and eliminate 90% of the stock because I know it doesn’t suit me. It doesn’t matter what’s on trend, I know what suits me. My wardrobe was full of clothes I never wore and I always chose the same 4 things. Those 4 things suited me therefore I felt better in them and reached for them when getting dressed. If you never have anything to wear its worth doing.

  28. Nopseky says:

    It’s the “bring me joy” thing that gets me. Girl, I get that I have too much shit laying around, but it doesn’t have to bring me joy, I just want it to have some use…

  29. Anna says:

    Ever since I read her book (which is hilarious and wonderful, btw) a few years ago, I’ve done the KonMari method every year. The first was the biggest shift and though I know she says that once you do it thoroughly for everything, you’ll never go back again, I do find that I need yearly decluttering sessions (plus I love revisiting her technique on new things that have come in over the year). Clothes are pretty much fine (though the items that don’t fit, as a designer I always want to save the fabric to “make something later” which I sometimes do but more often than not, the mend pile sites there staring at me…) but my biggest issue is papers (for teaching and writing) and family gifts, tchotchkes, cards, that sort of thing. I don’t know what to do with that stuff and it just accumulates. I also try to do feng shui adjustments for the lunar new year and I’m finding that I have a lot of statues and cures that I’m not sure how to dispose of…Oh well…I guess I’ve got more work to do this weekend before the Lunar New Year…