Kate Hudson: ‘No matter what, I never heard a bad word about my father’


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Love all around 💞

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Kate Hudson posted the shot above to her Instagram on Wednesday. That’s Kate, her partner Danny Fukjikawa and their daughter, five-month old Rani. It’s a cute shot. Rani, of course, is featured heavily on Kate’s Instagram page. And who can blame her, look at that little face! She looks like a happy little girl and I don’t doubt she is always surrounded by love. As are Kate’s other kids, Ryder, 15, her son with Chris Robinson, and Bingham, seven, her son with Matt Bellamy. The reason their family works so well is because Kate makes sure she never speaks ill of any of her exes in front of her kids. Kate told Laura Wasser while on her podcast that was something she learned from her mother, Goldie Hawn.

Hudson said that her three children are always the most important factor in her co-parenting relationships, revealing that she learned by example after her mother Goldie Hawn divorced Hudson’s father, Bill Hudson.

“I think the one thing that I learned from my mom is that no matter what you’re feeling and no matter what — when I see my friends talking s— about their ex-spouses in front of their kids, I get so upset because they don’t recognize how much that affects their child and how resentful their child will become of them,” she explained, adding, “No matter what, I never heard a bad word about my father.”

“Kids are not only incredibly intelligent, but eventually they can make their mind up themselves,” Hudson continued. “They will see with their own eyes whatever needs to be seen and they need to come to that on their own terms. It’s not our place to tell them how to feel about the other parents. I think that’s so important.”

[From People]

Kate’s The Divorce Sucks! With Laura Wasser podcast came out last week but I wanted to talk about Kate’s comments because I think she’s right on this. I’ve seen both situations and, like Kate, it infuriates me when my friends trash their ex in front of the child. On the flip side, I have a friend who had every reason to disparage her daughter’s father, didn’t, and her daughter has since reconnected with her dad and his family and they are all better for it. (To his credit, both he and his wife give my friend full credit for the relationship.) Like Kate said, the kids will see what they need to, they don’t need coaching. And Kate knows because she certainly came to see who her biological father was without anyone having to tell her. Granted, her father, Bill Hudson, disputes the fact that Goldie was blameless, but I think we all saw who he was when he publicly bailed on Kate and Oliver.

Like I said, I respect Kate and Goldie for not trashing their exes in front of their kids. But the gossip in me gets nosy and wants to know – what bad things does Kate want to say about her exes?!

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Laid back 💕 #Rani🌹

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Photo credit: WENN Photos and Instagram

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38 Responses to “Kate Hudson: ‘No matter what, I never heard a bad word about my father’”

  1. phaedra says:

    Rani is chonkers!I could eat those cheeks!

  2. Kittycat says:

    I thought she was talking about kurt.

    • claire says:

      Yes – she’s always referred to him as such and has barely acknowledged her bio dad over the years. I think she said at one time – to paraphrase- that in all the ways that count Kurt is her dad.

      • Molly says:

        Oliver Hudson has been pretty vocal about his thoughts on their dad, but Kate doesn’t talk about it much. Her relationship with Kurt is one of my favorite parent/kid celeb relationships out there.

  3. Esmom says:

    What a darling baby. And wow I didn’t realize it at the time but Kate’s short hairdo really made her look like Ellen. I thought I liked it at he time but I like her hair this length.

    Anyway, I fully support not trashing the ex to the kids no matter how awfully he/she behaved. Kids really don’t need that, they just need to feel safe so they can go about their lives without too much stress and anxiety.

  4. Busy Bee says:

    Unrelated comment but I’d really love it if you made your site compatible with Reader View in IOS Safari again. It is a life safer for someone whose vision is deteriorating. It would save me from having to pinch and zoom and do other acrobatics to Red your articles in the now huge font I need. Thanks for listening.

    • launicaangelina says:

      @BusyBee – Thank you for mentioning reader mode on iOS. I thought it was just my phone being wonky. I can still use reader mode on other sites. I rely on it so much.

    • Erinn says:

      I’m wondering if it’s related to your actual phone? I was able to go into safari (I use chrome on my iphone) and hit the reader mode button and it worked. Maybe you’re running a different version or something than I am? There were also some major wordpress updates recently, so perhaps it’s tied into versions of that as well. But I was able to see this article on my phone in that mode so not sure.

  5. Cindy says:

    As the daughter of a marriage that went through a VERY messy divorce I really appreciate what she’s saying. I wanted to write more but I don’t even know where to start when it comes to my parents and their split.

    I’ll just say a bad partner isn’t necessarily a bad parent. And if they are bad parents, your kids will notice on their own. If my parents’ divorce taught me anything is the most important thing about parenting is ALWAYS being the adult in the house. Because if you’re not behaving like an adult, your kids will have to.

    • Yup, Me says:

      I think part of the challenge is not having the space to say what one needs to say without kids being able to hear it. It seems pretty obvious that one should not trash the ex directly to their kids. The huge grey area is when one needs to get things off of their chest (with a friend who is visiting or speaking on the phone) and kids are able to overhear because a home or apartment is only so big. My mother was always determined that she wouldn’t interfere in the relationship that my brother and I had with our father but I frequently overheard her crying or talking about things on the phone when the worst of the divorce was going on.

  6. Alissa says:

    I think it’s an excellent concept, and I think it works well in practice.

    However, I do think when you’re dealing with a narcissistic, gaslighting ex-spouse, it becomes a lot trickier. Especially because they will have no qualms in trash-talking you when it’s convenient to them.

    • CommentingBunny says:

      My ex is like that. There’s sometimed a very fine line between validating my kids’ experiences with him and trashing him.

    • Ali says:

      +1

      This assumes the other parent’s actions are benign or totally separate from the child and that’s not always the case.

    • Courtney says:

      Yup.

      And my mom didn’t talk about my dad-so I didn’t feel like I could ever talk about the situation either. Led to a lot of confusion, disappointment, and unanswered questions.

      • DP says:

        That’s hard. When people don’t acknowledge the truth, it’s not necessarily taking the high road and healthy. Sometimes it feels dismissive and can make it harder to deal with.

    • lucy2 says:

      I agree, it depends on the situation. There are some cases where it’s ok to say “no, your dad/mom is wrong.” But for the most part, not bad mouthing the other is so much healthier for the kids.

  7. Truth says:

    Why does Wasser have a podcast?

  8. Lady Keller says:

    I hate when I see parents trash talking the kid’s other parent. I had a long term relationship with a man who had a kid. Every single time he came over it was “my mom says you’re a loser” or “my mom says I shouldn’t be like you when I grow up”….kids have a hard time separating themselves from their parents. Call their dad a loser and you are basically calling your kid a loser.

    Most kids are smart. Most kids I know what’s going on even if they dont want to admit it. If one parent truly is a bum they know it deep down. Most people I know with a garbage parent eventually see the truth and by the time they have grown up they see which parent did the hard work and which one deserves to be trashed.

  9. elimaeby says:

    I was shocked when I found out that Oliver and Kate were full siblings. Then I saw a pic of Bill Hudson and it clicked: Kate is Goldie’s mini-me and Oliver is Bill’s. They are both gorgeous people; they just look so dissimilar for siblings.

    Good for Kate and Goldie keeping things civil for their kids. It’s the kindest and most loving thing you can do for them after a divorce.

  10. Lena says:

    I followed the link to the podcast and it was pretty good actually but it cracked me up how it was intro’d: “The actress and the attorney swap stories about raising their own kids with multiple fathers. Kate & Laura discuss the existence of a “monogamy gene,” etc etc. They both said she believes isome people have a monogamy gene but she only believes in monogamy when she is on a relationship but only in serial monogamy. She can’t imagine staying in a relationship forever because she doesn’t have to.

  11. Lucia says:

    My husband’s mother tried to trash his dad all the time when he was a kid. It messed him up really bad. When he was 25, he finally reconnected with his father. His mother who didn’t give a damn about him once the child support checks stopped coming, all of the sudden was going out of his way to sabotage their new relationship. His father is a recovering alcoholic and his alcoholism made it impossible for them to have a relationship when he was younger but my husband learned that he had begged from the time he was 10 on to see him. Turns out his mother had lied to him from the age of 10 on regarding his father. Now he has no relationship with his mother. It’s pretty sad.

  12. sa says:

    I can’t help but wonder if part of her not hearing a bad word about her father was that Goldie Hawn had no reason to talk about him at all. She’d moved on with her life and didn’t rely on him financially. So it may simply be that Kate’s father was a non-issue in their house, good or bad.

  13. DP says:

    Of course it’s better to not say anything negative about the ex, but what about when the person continues to do things that hurt and effect the kids? Nothing dangerous, but things like making promises and not keeping them, last minute canceling, not calling, barely seeing them? It’s hard to not be honest about that stuff. I feel like denying that it’s crappy and making excuses may hurt the kids more. It’s a delicate balance to acknowledge the truth and validate feelings, but not cross the line and trash the other person.

    • Erinn says:

      But there’s a difference between honesty and trashing, and I think that’s the main thing. It’s way different to explain the situation and be honest about the virtues and vices of someone when the situation calls it. But then there are people who will go on like ‘your father/mother was the worst thing that ever happened to me. ‘ and who keep railing that kind of thing home to the kid. It can turn into a parentification kind of situation which is awful for the kids. If a father continually lets the kid down, I don’t see anything wrong with “your dad loves you, but he’s not a dependable person.” or “you’re right to be upset at your father right now. It really sucks that your plans didn’t work out”. Validation/addressing vs just going on about all of the other parents worst characteristics and not allowing the child to become the shoulder to lean on/ confidant in a divorce.

  14. Elaine says:

    Not true. Goldie alienated her kids from their dad. He went through hell. She couldn’t wait for Kurt Russell to be their dad. People to old to remember that ?

    • tora says:

      THIS ^^^!! I remember this too. Goldie and Kate both trashed Bill Hudson every chance they could in every media outlet. KH always seemed like she only remembers what benefits her at the time.

    • Miss M says:

      I remember reading they had a messy divorce. Maybe Kate doesnt realize she suffered parental alienation early on or maybe it never happened like she said in the podcast. Who knows?!

    • Carrie says:

      Yes.i remember it well. She moved so far away he literally couldn’t get to his kids any time he tried, and he did try quite hard as it hit the press which is why we know and remember.

      Kate is like Wasser.
      Angelina Jolie fired Wasser for turning her divorce and their family into a tabloid drama. Ever since, I have zero respect for Wasser. I’ve never had much respect for Kate either but this seals it.

      That podcast is selling a history revision, perhaps to save Wasser’s reputation as she was fired once her interference was outed by Jolie. Who better to vouch for Wasser than the child of another much like Wasser. What a sad mess.

  15. Yvette says:

    As someone who vividly remembers the Hawn/Hudson messy divorce, I dispute Goldie’s blameless state as well. I just read too many accounts in reliable articles by people who vet their sources at the time of the struggle Bill Hudson had trying to remain a part of his kids lives before they were old enough to make an informed decision on their own.

    I guess a question to ask is if Bill Hudson’s other children, Zachary Hudson (born in 1986) and Emily Hudson (born in 1982) with wife Cindy Williams (from LaVerne and Shirley) and Lalania Hudson (born in 2006) from a long-term relationship, give the same narrative about their father? I haven’t read any gossip about the younger Hudson kids dissing their dad. Has anyone else?

    • Carrie says:

      Nope. Good points. And his son with Goldie was hurt a lot by this of course as he’s made known. He doesn’t seem aware yet though. There will come a day….

    • Rachel Phelps says:

      Oftentimes kids from the second marriage have a completely different dynamic with their parent/father than the kids from the first marriage do. Speaking from experience.

  16. Lena says:

    I was surprised to hear her in the podcast vehemently say she NEVER heard Goldie trash her father. Maybe it’s true and Goldie only trashed him in the press not in private because I remember a very bitter divorce and custody battles between the two.

  17. NewKay says:

    I like Kate Hudson, but just want to point out the double standard and privilege here. Kate is a white woman with three kids from 3 different men. No one is calling her a ho, no one is referring to her kids dads as baby daddy ,8’atead we get words like ‘partner’ and ‘child’s father.’ I just needed to say that.

    • dewitt says:

      The fact that she did marry the father of her first child, but not the last 2, will probably cause some resentment down the line. Why would she give her latest child a hyphenated last name when the older ones only had their dads’ last name?

      And yes, I hate the word “partner” just like when people call someone they’ve already had kids with as their “fiancé.” Goldie and Kurt still refer to each other as boyfriend/girlfriend after 36 years – I’ve never actually heard either of them say partner. Interviewers will use that word, but they don’t.

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