Dickie Arbiter: Duchess Meg’s baby shower was ‘over the top in terms of expense’


New Zealand House Book of Condolence

I’ve finally got around to watching Season 2 of The Crown, and I just watched the excellent episode Marionettes, which was about a peer (a lord) criticizing Queen Elizabeth II as priggish and out of touch with her people. The episode was so timely and interesting, because it’s yet another reminder that the Windsors are in the PR business and they have been for a long-ass time. It was also a reminder that the Queen has always surrounded herself with some of the stuffiest old dudes out there, and that those “courtiers” often do her dirty. Dickie Arbiter was one of those courtiers – he worked in Buckingham Palace for years and headed up her communications team. He’s semi-retired now, doing commentary on royal events or stories here and there. Arbiter spoke to Us Weekly in this week’s issue about the Duchess of Sussex’s American baby shower (he’s salty about it) and how Prince Harry and William are definitely not at war (yeah right). Some quotes:

On Meghan’s NYC baby shower: “Baby showers, it’s very much an American thing. We don’t do it here in the U.K. It was a bit over the top in terms of expense and the way she got there.”

On the idea that Meghan will have a second shower in London: “That’s something they have to answer. Meghan is American and she does things the American way.”

There’s no Sussex/Cambridge feud: “It’s all based on Harry and Meghan moving out of Kensington Palace to move into Windsor. The reason [Harry and Meghan] are moving from Kensington Palace is the way they’re living at the moment is too small. There’s two bedrooms and a living room and a dining room downstairs. There’s no outside space and it’s just not big enough for a growing family. Harry has decided that he wants to set up his own office, which is fair enough. While he was single, he was living in his comfort zone with his brother and his sister-in-law. But now he’s married, he’s creating his own comfort zone, with his wife, and it just makes sense. You can’t have a small staff running the offices of two people. Harry is now moving on and setting up his own office. Nothing unusual in that.”

[From Us Weekly]

“While he was single, he was living in his comfort zone with his brother and his sister-in-law…” I think that’s right, to a certain extent. Harry didn’t change until he met Meghan. He didn’t want to change until he met Meghan. But I would argue that the royal family needs to change with the times and allow princes and princesses to set up their own separate courts/offices/homes when they’re single. Harry was in desperate need of his own office before Meghan came around, but Buckingham Palace is so stuck in its ways – those fussy old courtiers serving a fussy old queen – that they truly don’t believe in single royals setting themselves up for the future UNTIL those royals marry.

As for “Baby showers…It was a bit over the top in terms of expense and the way she got there.” Jesus Christ. It was so over-the-top that Amal Clooney and Meghan flew together on Amal’s private plane? It was over-the-top that Meg’s rich friends wanted to treat her? I guess it’s never over-the-top when William and Kate borrow the Duke of Westminster’s private plane every year to go on holiday, huh? Easy, Dickie, your dog-whistles are becoming sirens.

The Duke And Duchess Of Sussex Attend A Commonwealth Day Youth Event At Canada House

Photos courtesy of WENN, Avalon Red.

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186 Responses to “Dickie Arbiter: Duchess Meg’s baby shower was ‘over the top in terms of expense’”

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  1. Valiantly Varnished says:

    Seems to me like Dickie is taking his last name too literally. He’s not the Arbiter of anything. He’s an old fussy former courtier. No one cares what he thinks. Shrink back into obscurity Dickie. Your time has passed. Thank God.

    • Beach Dreams says:

      Dickie is the same person who kept insisting that the relationship was just a fling up until fall 2017 and threw a fit about the rumors that Meghan was staying at NottCott. Good to see he’s back to showing his true feelings again.

      • Jan90067 says:

        JFC, Meghan just can’t win. If she flew commercially, we’d hear moaning and bitching about the expense, even if privately paid for. She gets a flight on a private jet, OH THE HORROR! Even tho W&K take the DoW’s jet all the time. FEH!

      • MissyS. says:

        A lot of those old snobs never liked Meghan and they never will. They keep talking about her because they know mentioning Meghan’s name brings in money.

        I have a question, and I’m hoping someone has the answer.
        Could Meghan have married Harry without becoming a HRH? I believe things would be somewhat better for her if she had remained a private citizen like Princess Anne and Princess Eugenie’s husbands.

        I applaud Meghan for being so professional and resilient during this smear campaign. I hope it’s all worth the trouble.

      • Tina says:

        @MissyS, as the wife of HRH the Duke of Sussex she would be HRH Duchess of Sussex by law (technically the Duchess of Kent is HRH the Duchess of Kent even though she doesn’t use the HRH any longer). But that’s not really the deal. Harry is 6th in line to the throne, he and his spouse were always going to have to be working royals.

      • MissyS. says:

        Thanks Tina!

    • PlainJane says:

      Lots of comments below about this being snobbery. I sense something more. I still get racism as an undercurrent in his diatribes.

      Lots of (new) money has been spent on Kate too (see the Great Wait, funded by her new money parents).

      I’m still getting racism, nationalism, and a host of other yucky things.

      • MissyS. says:

        I agree. It’s all so disgusting. These Meghan headlines are also reminding me of how Michelle Obama was treated when she was First Lady. I remember too many stories questioning the cost of her wardrobe and vacations and people complaining about her mother living in the White House. Everything she did was heavily criticized and scrutinized by several media outlets.

      • Susannah says:

        Harry’s family embraced Meghan but everything about her upset the body politic of the establishment and especially the right-wing press in the UK. Her race was wrong, her nationality was wrong, her marital status was wrong. She wasn’t the perfect English Rose, etc. They’ve been coming for her ever since.

      • Mrs.Krabapple says:

        It’s racism and nationalism, for sure. And, it’s not because Meghan is doing much wrong, it’s because she’s too successful. I suspect the racists and nationalists are especially upset that Meghan has shown she is intelligent, well-spoken, poised, hard-working, confident, etc. — all the things their home-grown Kate is not. I base this on the way Kate was suddenly pointed to as the shining example of how a duchess should be/look/act, after years of her being a useless enabler to William’s laziness. The racists would loooove to see Meghan fail, and her popularity and success is something they cannot forgive.

      • BCity says:

        Completely agree! Lord do I feel for her. Someone should ask him if it’s excessive that (uhhhh-lledgedly) William ponied up for Middleton Manor? Or whomst paid to rip out a perfectly good kitchen at Anmer Hall? Or the 100k tennis court? Or the Great Purple Walls Debacle? Cherry picking facts is the hallmark of racist twerps.

      • Tina says:

        @Susannah, the right-wing press was upset by Meghan for sure, but the establishment really doesn’t care. The Mayor of London is Sadiq Khan, the Home Secretary (very powerful cabinet minister) is Sajid Javid, etc. The establishment has well and truly moved on.

      • Milla says:

        Well just cos Kate did sth or does it, it does not make it right. She gets her share and Meg gets hers. She is out of control with spending and custom couture pieces and babyshower was over the top. Staying objective seems like its not an option anymore.
        May i remind you how Obamas criticized Kardashians for the same unnecessary display of wealth?

      • fishface says:

        Agree. Aided and abetted by Rupert Murdoch.

      • mariahS says:

        BCity, Charles and the Queen privately paid for Amner Hall renovations. I assume Will dipped into his fortune a tiny, tiny bit… but it was reported that it was privately funded, not taxpayer funded. Their KP apartment, however, was taxpayer-funded. So, I don’t really care if they ripped out a kitchen to make way for their own styled kitchen, and it doesn’t matter about the tennis court because we know Charles footed the bill. Their KP renovation caused a backlash and rightly so. I expect the same to happen with Harry’s new place as its being renovated with taxpayer funds.

      • mariahS says:

        The Obamas criticised the Kardashians? When was this? Sure, the Kards are over the top, but it’s their own money, if they were spending public funds, that would be another story!

      • Milla says:

        Mariahs google it 2013 summer

    • Himmiefan says:

      He needs to understand that since taxpayer money was not used, this is no one’s business.

      • Citresse says:

        Himmiefan, you don’t know that for sure. The Windsors will take any opportunity to dump any expense on taxpayers. It’s well documented, especially with William. If Charles keeps flying Camilla with perhaps 5 support staff for her, around on large, luxury aircraft on long haul trips while at same time complaining about carbon footprints, then imagine what else is going on.

      • mariahS says:

        That’s the problem, Citresse. We will never know for sure how much we really pay for this family. The 69p per head is total crap, so is the tourism angle. How many tourists have met the Queen? Lol!

  2. Case says:

    Who cares if it was over the top? Meghan didn’t use taxpayer’s money to pay for it — her friends (who have plenty of money) did it for her!

    • Silas Marner says:

      It is snobbery. The Duke with the private plane is old money, the Clooneys are not. The Queen may give a speech in front of a gold piano but a baby shower in an expensive hotel suite is over the top.

      • Becks1 says:

        Ditto – its just being a snob, and new money vs old money. Had Meghan taken a duke’s private plane to an expensive, exclusive resort in Europe or the Caribbean, and had her shower there, no one would have said boo.

      • Khy says:

        So the private plane old money isn’t snobbery, but new money is ? also who were they being snobby too?

      • Cloudysky says:

        Isn’t it that royals are supposed to be more discrete because much of their lifestyle is funded by the taxpayer? Even if her wealthy friends paid for everything, it was an event flaunting wealth, privilege and celebrity. I doubt there would have been much made of it had it been done more privately.

      • Beach Dreams says:

        ^^The Queen certainly wasn’t being discreet with that huge gilded piano and opulent room when she made her address. She got crucified for that on Twitter.

      • windyriver says:

        Enough with the discrete stuff. The rest of the royal family can look discrete because the media aren’t obsessively covering them, analyzing every detail, and spinning it. If Kate had had a quiet baby shower at home, where is that? A 20-room apartment in a palace with priceless furnishings and multiple staff. Charles has been a clotheshorse for years; what’s he spending?

        Meghan flew to NYC so quietly it wasn’t generally known she was there for 3 days. Nothing we’ve heard about the shower itself (flower arranging, dessert tasting) sounds particularly extravagant, and she went places in NYC that visitors go (Laduree has a Soho branch because, tourists). It happens that many of her friends are wealthy, but they walked into the hotel with the same gift bags anyone would.

        She’s having her first child. She’s allowed to have a life. I’m sure she would have preferred a more low-key visit like it started out to be. It’s not her fault that isn’t what sells.

      • mariahS says:

        The Queen was blasted for the gold piano on social media by the people who pay for the BRF but most people here took offence and made fun that people were criticising her! That was a wtf moment reading those comments. I mean, the amount Meghan & Kate get dragged here, you would think the other members of the family would be held to the same standards, but nope.

    • Megan says:

      Private event paid for privately. It’s no one’s business how much it cost.

    • Rhys says:

      Counting other people’s money is a favorite pastime of his’.

  3. Silas Marner says:

    Kick Kennedy was liked for who she was, not because she copied the British. Meghan needs to be herself.

    • Jaded says:

      She is being herself. Just because she’s not a spoiled, gum-chewing party girl heiress with few social graces doesn’t mean she’s sold herself to the BRF devil.

      • Silas Marner says:

        I know. What I meant was in response to all the advice in the press to change her behavior, Meghan should continue to be herself.

    • A says:

      Kick Kennedy wasn’t nearly as much of a media fixture as Meghan is. It’s really weird to use an obscure reference to a Kennedy who most people wouldn’t know much about to compare. The former also grew up in a rich, influential family, and her father was the ambassador to the UK. The aristocracy in the UK has no compunction marrying wealthy Americans (and then divorcing them) so long as they can bring sacks of money across the pond, so acting as if this came down to personality is ridiculous.

      • Silas Marner says:

        But the Kennedy wealth didn’t matter because it wasn’t one of those kinds of weddings. My point was Kick was very much herself and it didn’t matter that her father was unpopular or that she was Catholic. People liked her because she was resolutely herself.

  4. Abby says:

    KATE HAD BABY SHOWERS TOO! So much shade about the dang baby shower.

    This whole thing is so dumb!

  5. Bluesky says:

    The optics of the shower were bad on several fronts. She could have kept it all on the down low, but chose not to, so she’s taking some flack for it.

    It wasn’t your everyday baby shower.

    • susannej says:

      Yep, in the time of Brexit … it seams that by next Friday Britain will be in deep, deep trouble
      (aka “putting 3,500 troops on standby, booking ferries for NHS drugs and getting ready for huge lorry jams”)

      Just a bad time – for all of us.

    • BlueSky says:

      Not sure who this is but I did not write this.
      Someone else using this name too?

    • hola says:

      Agree. And sorry Americans, since you’re not experiencing Brexit, you just don’t get it (and I say that as an American living in England)

    • Cate says:

      I agree. I realize it was not taxpayer money but…it looks out of touch that Meghan is hanging with all these fabulously wealthy foreigners. Admittedly, the Clooneys are at least potentially doing some good for the UK through buying their way into the trust, etc. But this, combined with all the very high-end and non-UK designer clothing, makes it really look like Meghan is very focused on the “rich and privileged” aspect of her position. Is she doing way more royal work than Kate was at the same period in her marriage? Yes, absolutely, and she deserves kudos and goodwill for that. But I think she’s overestimating the goodwill she gets from her work or underestimating the backlash that’s going to come from stuff like having an overseas baby shower right as the country is about to get screwed.

      Like it or not, H&M are going to be scrutinized more and get thrown under the bus more than W&K, so they do probably need to tread more carefully if they care about their public image. Harry should know this by now as it’s been happening to him for years.

      • Cerys says:

        Have to agree with you. Meghan’s rich friends may have paid for her but did they pick up the bill for her protection officers or did the poor old UK taxpayers have to cough up as usual?

      • Bren says:

        The security cost would’ve been the same if the news of the baby shower didn’t make headlines. Meghan is in her right to travel outside of the UK for personal reasons and she will always have protection officers as a royal. No different from her royal in-laws.

      • entine says:

        She will travel out of the UKregardless if it’s a party ornate. Her family all lives overseas and she’s not a prisoner, she can visit her mom, etc. even if she takes security. It’s not like they’ve been idle and not working for years.

    • LivePlantsCleanAir says:

      SHE WAS OUTED BY A WAITRESS…..No one knew she was in town till then. She DID keep it private, until she was outed. Once outed, she had no choice left….the hotel had to cordone off their entrance so both the DoS AND THE OTHER GUESTS could come and go in relative safety and security. I think it is utterly GROSS that people skim over the fact that she kept it private until….someone else didn’t. I hope that server lost her job, frankly, because outing the DoS was a huge invasion of privacy, seems to me….

      • Hashtagwhat says:

        Wrong. Page six may have at one point said she was seen by a waitress (which could be true) but Omid Scobie had the news early and permission to break it and Richard Palmer confirmed that she had a press person separate from the palace handling media in NYC. She wanted that pap walk and media flurry about her. Fine, but just accept the blame back now. Also you think all those vendors couldn’t have come through a private entrance if that was the intention to begin with?

      • Scal says:

        Half of those vendors that the Mail had shots of were for the other baby shower going on at the same time in the hotel. That was a hotel logistics thing in general for baby showers that they host.

        The harpist was a guest at the hotel during her tour and not in attendance at the shower.

      • Hashtagwhat says:

        @scal, what’s your source on the “other” babyshowers happening at the exact same time?

      • Nic919 says:

        Omid was going to report on the shower only after she had returned, which means the paparazzi would not have found her and trailed her for the rest of the trip. Its quite different to report on something after the fact then to be stuck in a paparazzi circus.

      • Scal says:

        @Hashtagwhat it’s hard to find now, but at the time when there was drama about ‘pink flowers! she’s having a girl’ it was confirmed via the mail there was another baby shower going on at the same time.

        Hello magazine confirmed later that some of the deliveries were just for the hotel and not for any event. The hotel doesn’t have a back entrance it backs up to to a bank and a art gallery and has shops on the other side.

      • mariahS says:

        confirmed via the mail – Please tell me you didn’t just say that… haha. “Confirmed by the Maill” no such thing, dear.

    • Sash says:

      This is generally the gist I’ve gotten from Brits, it’s not the extravagance of the shower but the percieved “flaunting” of said extravagance.

      Personally, I think it was fine since it wasn’t taxpayer money BUT I’m also not a Brit going through that Brexit mess right now, so…

      • Ads says:

        “Personally, I think it was fine since it wasn’t taxpayer money BUT I’m also not a Brit going through that Brexit mess right now, so…”

        The British people are the ones who voted to leave. Brexit is not something that is happening to us, it is something that we as a nation chose – despite all the warnings which got shouted down as ‘project fear’.

    • lanne says:

      But it pretty much was an everyday baby shower. They weren’t juggling Faberge Eggs or playing pin the diamond on the nappy. They had some cookies and gave some presents. They also arranged flowers. The presents were probably nicer than most, but what people are in a tizzy about is the location and how she got there. It wasn’t a 348726383 dollar baby shower! It was a conventional (though upscale) baby shower in a fancy place, the fancy place paid for by her friends. She arrived there on a private plane, also provided by one of her friends. Her friends are allowed to do what they want with their own damn money.

  6. The Original Mia says:

    Oh, shut up, Dick! Goodness. Meghan’s friends can do whatever they want with their money.

    • Himmiefan says:

      On Twitter, Arbiter recently said that Harry looked more relaxed doing engegements on his own. The people responding rightly raked him over the coals!

    • Olenna says:

      I knew Arbiter had a hissy fit when H&M started dating and said some ignorant things in the press about her, but I let them slide. Then, just the other day, I gave that ratchet Ole bigot props for his fair explanation of the House of Sussex transition from KP. But, after his recent comments, he will now and forever remain on my sh*t list.

      • mariahS says:

        Weren’t you the one cosigning his crap in the other posts? He is a known racist, and I’ve seen quite a few people on here cosigning his bs. Interesting. His very first comments when they started dating were proof that he dislikes her immensely…. but you let that slide? Again, interesting. He’s switching up his views because his daughter’s commentary seems to be quite popular.

      • Olenna says:

        @mariah,
        Did you read my comment and comprehend it, or did you just come here to call me out because you have an issue with me?

  7. Jessica says:

    Did Dickie pay for it? Why do people care how other people spend their money?

  8. HelloThere says:

    I have a feeling if it were Ivanka Trump, people would be outraged by a $500k baby shower. But Meghan always gets a pass on this website.

    • Bren says:

      Meghan gets a pass because she did not plan or pay for the baby shower. Why keep blaming her for her friend’s kindness and desire to celebrate Meghan and her first baby?

    • The Original Mia says:

      Why would we care what Ivanka Trump had? Its her and her friends’ money. There are plenty of reasons to dislike Princess Nagini, but having a baby shower paid for by her friends isn’t one of them.

    • Beach Dreams says:

      More like people like you will always find an excuse to whine about her.

    • Mumbles says:

      You’re a brave person! And yes, there’s a lot to like about Meghan but she’s not perfect, and any suggestion that she’s not usually stirs up a lot. And I think this was a misstep given the general economic conditions facing the world in general and the UK in particular. (Yes I know it’s her friends’ money. But it was way over the top.) To her defense if this was a Jessica Mulroney production, she doesn’t seem to be a very thoughtful person.

      And the jury is out whether Kate had a shower, but assuming she did, had it been at a $75,000/night hotel suite I think the distaste would have been the same. (And yeah, I think *her* frequent luxury vacations are gross, and I’ve said so on this site, lest I be accused of “dog whistling.”)

      • Erinn says:

        I remember the outrage at the Kardashian’s having lavish showers/baby birthdays. Lot’s of talk about how that money should be donated.

        At the end of the day – there’s people out there with RIDICULOUS wealth disparity. And while I think everyone should be more conscious about how they’re spending their money and the needs of others – I’m not outraged when things like this happen. Rich people are going to jump the shark with celebrations. Is it right? Not really. Is it going to change? Probably not.

      • Nic919 says:

        Kate did have a shower which was thrown by Pippa and at minimum it was held in a fancy manor house that UK taxpayers would have helped pay for. And let’s pretend that the trips to Mustique are just a trailer in the middle of Florida. It is ridiculous to continue with this whole “Meghan needs to think about Brexit” when no one else is being held to that standard.

      • mariahS says:

        ^ Lol, we do not pay for their private trips, so I don’t know what you’re going on about. Mustique, skiing, or wherever we aren’t footing the bill, except for security. I read Kate’s shower was organised by Pippa at their family home. If it was held in a manor house, again, we wouldn’t be paying for it. The spinning is ridiculous. One is privately paid for vs taxpayer-funded,. No, their private holidays are privately funded. Those are the facts.

      • Becks1 says:

        But, the shower was privately funded as well. So if people aren’t up in arms because Kate et al take private trips to Mustique, then why are people up in arms over this shower? that’s Nic’s point.

    • bonobochick says:

      LOL, no

    • Marce says:

      Agree. She can do no wrong here!

      • Margaritas For Breakfast says:

        And she’s not leaving Harry or getting kicked out by the queen as you YouTube Meghan Harry Divorce watchers want to believe.

  9. aquarius64 says:

    Still upset about Shower Gate? Watch for the shower in the UK where they work the Kate Doris or Markle no shows.

  10. lucy2 says:

    This guy doesn’t sound like he has a clue about anything.

    • Cloudysky says:

      He was a well-regarded royal reporter, as is his daughter. He knows how the Queen likes things done.

      • Lady D says:

        He sounds like a retired nosy old coot (eccentric or crotchety person, especially an old man) who should mind his own business.

      • Maria says:

        But it was paid for privately, not with royal funds, so he and for that matter the Queen, have no say in the matter.

      • Princessk says:

        He only started writing about the royals after he retired from his job inside BP. When these staff retire don’t they get pensions? They all seem so very desperate to squeeze more money out of their former royal roles, writing books, setting up Twitter accounts, and marketing themselves as royal ‘experts’.

      • Himmiefan says:

        He rightly was raked over the coals recently on Twitter when he remarked that Harry looked more relxed doing engements on his own. Personally, I think Harry looks the happiest with Meghan and away from the family.

      • Princessk says:

        @Himmiefan….Yes, l just saw that very pointed comment from Arbiter saying, “ Is it my imagination or is The Duke of Sussex really more relaxed on a solo engagement”……This shows Arbiters true colours. Of course Harry looks more relaxed on solo visits, he knows that there are crazy lunatics out there targeting his heavily pregnant wife. When Harry is with Meghan he is in protective mode. Arbiter is just stirring the pot and should be ashamed of himself.

  11. Redburgandy says:

    The problem with allowing royals to set up their own separate courts/offices/homes when they’re single is that it costs the taxpayers a lot more money. To be frank neither Harry or William were working nearly as much to justify having their own separate offices back then.

    • Jaded says:

      Harry was by far the harder working of the two. Invictus Games? Sentebale? Couple of tours of duty in Afghanistan? While Wm faffed around in helicopters part-time and played the country gent.

    • Angiedown says:

      William also served in the RAF until 2013 then worked part time as an air ambulance pilot until 2017. The point is neither William or Harry were full time royals until recently so therefore it was not really necessary for them to break away before either were married to have their separate office & full time staff funded by the taxpayers.

      We might also have two separate meanings of what a hard worker is. Even by royal standards Harry & William do not come close to their aunts & uncles or 92 year old grandmother. And not much separates the brothers in terms of engagements numbers.

  12. Loretta says:

    They’re still pressed about her baby shower LMAO I hope Meghan will do a baby shower every week until Baby Sussex is born.

  13. Eliza says:

    Can’t we say a shower is over the top? I think Kylies babys first birthday was over the top. Can’t we eye roll and move on?

    Ive been to crazy OTT baby showers before. I love the mommas and was very happy for them, and I didn’t spend any money other than my gift so it didn’t effect me, but I think we’re allowed our opinions that it’s over the top. Sometimes people go OTT for baby showers and gifts. It’s ok to point out.

  14. Lisa says:

    He can stay pressed.

  15. Winnie Cooper's Mom says:

    It would be interesting to know the Queen’s opinion on the optics of Meghan’s baby shower. She seems to prefer things like that to be low-key.

    • Bohemian Angel says:

      Well tell her to stop wearing bloody tiaras and diamonds then. If she really wants things low key maybe she should move out of her castle and into a little cottage in the country. The Queens as bad as the rest of them.

    • A says:

      The Queen lives in two castles and has diamonds the size of her toenails. She delivered her Christmas address in front of a gold piano, in a castle that she only recently started paying income tax on about twenty years ago.

      Low-key isn’t in her vocabulary.

  16. Weaver says:

    What he means is the shower was over the top for a woman of color. These reporters do not want to acknowledge that Meghan had a fairly upscale life and ran in wealthy circles before Harry. They need us to believe Harry found her on skid row and is Meghan is only now – through her “social climbing” — getting a taste of wealth, designer clothes and private jets.

    • The Original Mia says:

      This. They are fine with private planes, private chalets, and luxury accommodations for the white Windsors, but the lone black one whose friends feted her is over the top and too Hollywood/American for their snobbish tastes.

    • Jaded says:

      Spot on. She’s an American PoC who made her own money, worked tirelessly for a number of charities and ran circles around the Wisteria sisters who made it their life’s missions to marry up. Work for a living? How gauche.

    • Mia says:

      exactly on all those people posting “it looks bad”. well kate took the children on vacation during the same time. Yet the press didn’t mention cost, barely mention trip. That’s 4 mouths to feed and security but the white duchess gets a pass.

    • bonobochick says:

      Spot on, Weaver.

  17. A pass? There is nothing wrong with the woman going to her home country for a baby shower that was held by her friends at no cost to the British people! What is it that certain people want from this woman? I know the answers: know your place you rich American woman of colour! You are too popular and too opinionated! You take way too much focus off of Catherine and William! Stop being so bloody interesting and give the Cambridges a break! Oh you spoiled protocol breaking, hussy! You will bring Harry to ruin with your designer clothes and your excellent penmanship! The Monarchy is doomed you bump cradling, scene stealing narcissist! Please go away, and may God Save The Queen and her gold gilded piano! The narrative is getting
    real old and boring, folks!

    • Ula1010 says:

      Don’t forget that in these times of Brexit, the taxpayers will only allow one Duchess to wear bespoke clothing and it must be the keen white Duchess who boasts of making chutney but would never be so uncouth to make banana bread for the people actually contributing to her upkeep. As if!

      Real old and boring, indeed.

    • Ohdear says:

      Hilaryrose@29 too funny your post. I couldn’t say better. I Wish you are on twitter. Your sarcasm is on point..👌👌👌👌

  18. thaliasghost says:

    Baby Showers are indeed very American and I don’t quite understand their purpose. I assume they were a fun way to get all the mother’s from a neighborhood together so they could give their hand-me-down strollers and baby clothes to the mother, right?

    When did that turn into over the top parties and excess materialism without necessity?

    • Lady D says:

      A baby shower is about helping first time parents gather what they need for their newborn. It’s for those who love or care for the expectant parents and want to show their happiness and excitement for them. It has very little to do with getting the neighbourhood moms together to pass on their used baby stuff. I think you’re confusing baby showers with garage or yard sales.

      • LizB says:

        In my neck of the woods, friends and family very much pass on their baby supplies and hand-me-downs at the shower to the new mother to be.

      • Suze says:

        @LizB – As part of a shower though? I’m a first time mom and a few of my friends gave me a bunch of used clothes, toys, blankets, etc., but separately from my baby shower. At my shower I got books for the baby, plus stuff that I’d registered for, like a baby bathtub and a bouncy seat.

        Definitely agree that women will pass along supplies as their babies outgrow them – I’m already setting aside my newborn stuff for friends who are pregnant – but that is its own thing apart from a baby shower.

      • thaliasghost says:

        So Americans buy everything new when they have a baby? Consequently, just discard of everything, no reuse? Interesting (and expensive!).

      • Becks1 says:

        @thaliasghost – not necessarily. I did get most things new with my first, because I was the first one in my immediate circle of friends to have a baby. But I gave a lot of the stuff to my SIL when she got pregnant a few years after that – maternity clothes, items like the swing, some of the baby toys, play mat. So she didn’t register for those things. Likewise I lent my cosleeper to a friend, pack and play to someone else, etc.

        That said, the baby gear industry here is HUGE and there is a push to get new things, better things, “omg how could anyone ever have changed a diaper before wipes warmers,” etc. My youngest is 4 years old and I am shocked at how many different/new products are on the market now. And yet my kids did okay. And I’m sure my mom thinks the same after having raised 4 kids 35 years ago. etc.

    • Yoyo says:

      You’re right, you don’t understand baby showers.

    • Jaded says:

      I’ve been to a number of baby showers and nobody gives “hand-me-downs” as a gift. It’s a celebration of a new life and helping with all the paraphernalia that needs to come with it, especially for first-time moms. Usually gifts are practical – onesies, blankets, booties and socks, rattles, teethers, etc. etc. Everyone is full of righteous indignation that Meghan must have received gold-plated teething rings and diamond-encrusted pacifiers. Jeez people, relax and let the woman enjoy a special time with her good friends. You didn’t have to pay for it.

    • Himmiefan says:

      You’re assuming all showers are the same. The ones I go to have finger foods and a few gifts the guests bring: outfits, blankets, bottle sets, baby lotion/shampoo, etc. All in all showers are a great idea.

      • Some chick says:

        At the best baby shower I went to, we decorated onesies with fabric paint, and a friend served punch from a baby basinette which was lined in plastic! We pinned the onesies to a clothsline to dry. It was fun and hilarious, and seeing the baby in the custom onesies was extra cute.

    • entine says:

      at baby showers where I live, besides presents, we have fun, eat treats, play silly games, see old friends, sometimes we just pony money for the future baby, not presents.
      ok, we just don’t need a lot of excuses to organize a party. PoorMeghan, she went to live in a nunnery, and she’s Maria, How do you solve a problem like Meg?

  19. Agenbiter says:

    Something is wrong with “the way she got there“ lol? Swimming or cargo ship would have been more suitable?

  20. rose says:

    Even if it is his friends who pay the baby shower, this baby shower scandalized the British and other European citizens because contrary to the Americans mindset displays its wealth is very poorly perceived by us Europeans. It’s 100 times worse when it comes to the membres of royal families. They can spend a fortune but the rule is to remain discreet. Reason why people are outraged to the queen’s golden piano and not at the Cambridges holidays because there are never any photos of they.

    • Sam says:

      Scandalized who? We Brits have better things to worry about right now rather than a woman having a baby shower paid for by friends.Piorities people

    • Beach Dreams says:

      “There’s never any photos of the Cambridges’ holidays”??? Did the last 8 years not exist for you or something?

      I also always love when people talk as if they represent an entire country and/or continent. Really adds to the humor of their comments.

      • rose says:

        First, I know that royal families are not poor,the signs of wealth of royalty such as castles, paintings and other extravagant objects are riches that have inherited by their ancestors. So these are not purchases that they are deciding to make, consequently so it does not compare to the birthday party Kylie Jenner organized for her daughter or to the Chinese billionaire who to buy a pigeon 360 000 €.

        Secondly, there are no pictures in the press of Cambridges’ holidays in the media, there are articles that say that they went on vacation somewhere but in contrast to theirs first years of weddings, theirs holliday photography became very rare.

        Thirdly, when I say that in some European countries his baby shower was shocked people , I do not speak on behalf of all European countries, I say that because , I am watch a lot of European media shows and in most of his media this baby shower scandalize them. Not necessary because of the money she is spending or for the fact that she is going to New York she is American so it’s understandable.

        But because it’s incredible not discreet,many people say to defend her that the baby shower was supposed to be discreet, I have doubt because since she is married to the royal family she apparently visited her mother and there are no photos of his guests. Consequently when she wants she can be discreet. and it’s baby shower was not supposed to be discreet because she would have told her friends to choose a place in which the paparazzi would have less access to her or to completely privatize the hotel.

        For that it is shocking because she is no longer an actress, she has become a membrer of the British crown and in relation to the situation of Brexit and the economic situation of England it was not the thing most smart to do. For me she is as deaf on the money she spends as the duchess of Cambridge.

        And we must stop saying that all the criticisms of the duchess of sussex are based on race, I am biracial and anti monarchical and this episode shocked me how all the other expenses of the royals.

      • notasugarhere says:

        Photos of W&K’s honeymoon, skiing trips, topless sunbathing in France.

        Yes, there are many photos of W&K’s many holidays.

    • Yoyo says:

      Tell more us more, European citizens, from which country, Spain, The Netherlands, Belgium, France, Portugal, Germany ……….
      Scandilized the British my foot.

    • Jaded says:

      Scandalized? I think not. Scandalized at Brexit, at Trump, at mass shootings yes. The rule is to remain discreet? For the love of God, it was a baby shower, not a night at Chippendales guzzling champagne out of a bottle, howling at male strippers and stuffing $100 bills down their g-strings.

    • HK9 says:

      Rose, the numbers they’re throwing around don’t even exist, it’s a guess and you should know that by now. It’s not a secret because the trash press love to make this shit up so people like you believe it. Open your eyes.

    • Himmiefan says:

      Wealthy Europeans don’t flaunt their wealth? Now that’s funny.

    • Marce says:

      Sorry you got attacked by the fanatics here but yes it is a notion that old aristocratic wealth is not to be flaunted. Look up noblesse oblige.

      • Katherine says:

        No of course it was FAR better for old aristocratic wealth to essentially own domestic servants, perpetuate systems of wealth inequality, and maintain patriarchal rules of marriage and inheritance. But as long as they kept their jewels put away.

        I call complete and total bullshit on this argument.

        The British class system is one of the most vile perpetuators of economic and social inequality in the world.

        But the problem is an independently wealthy woman having an upscale party?

        Please.

      • Jaded says:

        Yes, of course. Oh, and while you’re at it Marce look up slavery, the caste system, domestic sexual abuse, working 20 hours a day in hellish environments. I’d call owning palatial mansions, gold pianos, vaults full of jewels, lavish stables full of expensive horses and carriages, hundreds of gowns and furs, etc. flaunting your wealth. It’s not like they’re living in one bedroom apartments and using the same teabag twice.

      • A says:

        I take it most of you have never been on Instagram.

        Do follow the latest crop of aristocrats that are coming up in life. Please tell me if people like Kitty Spencer, the Manners girls, Mary Charteris or any of the rest of them are discreet about their ridiculous wealth.

        Also worth keeping in mind that people like the Duke of Rutland and other aristocrats and those adjacent to the aristocracy were the actual people who spearheaded things like Brexit. They worked to bring about that policy. Blaming Meghan for “flaunting” her wealth at a time of strife, while giving all of the people who ACTUALLY CAUSED THE STRIFE a pass because they’re supposedly “discreet” even though they’re not is the epitome of hypocrisy and ignorance, if you ask me.

      • entine says:

        hahahaha! like the royal family is such a paragon of virtue.
        Of course they were scandalized that Meghan is divorced, while almost all of the Queen’s children had to divorce, that damn toe-sucking had to be kept indoors, those tampon messages? of course Charles’ gonna be head of the church of England, those messages, Damn, the princess royal and her overlapping relationships, but, hey it is all so hush-hush that she is still so classy. Bed hopping is alright as long as you don’t make a fuss about it, people used to not divorce because they had the obligatory children and they were then free to play hide and “seek” at friends’ homes and beds. Diana was frowned upon because she did not want to play the game at first, then she complied and went with it, too. what a mess.
        .
        They are as human as can be, read up a little history, you could find a classy noble or two who killed his wives, nephews, etc. You can criticize Meghan, but don’t act like the people she married into are so great. They have plenty of skeletons, in their gilded closets, of course. Old money vs new money ha! Kate is so new money that snobs don’t like her, even when they did not want to marry either windsor prince, but then Meghan comes and suddenly she’s the perfect princess and future queen. Nothing agains her particularly, but calling out the hypocrisy.

    • Chloe says:

      Gosh, I didn’t realize in a post-Brexit world, women won’t be allowed to have baby showers without “scandalizing” Europe. As far as W&K’s holidays, I’ve seen more of them in snowsuits and bathing suits than regular work clothes over the years. Katie Keen must be thrilled that Europe is so filled with fun-hating stuffed shirts.

  21. Fluffy Princess says:

    Oh, Dickie. . . You old, snobby coot, STFU. Stay in your lane, Dickie. None of the money was paid for by taxpayers, her security is included No matter what. If I were to search for a scathing remark from Dickie concerning the Cambridge’s security for their trips to Mustique would I find them? Yeah. . .that’s what I thought. I say this will all sincerity. Dickie, but again, STFU and go dust a candelabra or something.

  22. MissyS. says:

    Meghan is a divorced, biracial, American actress who dared to marry into the Royal Family. Nothing she does will ever be good enough for people. I’m appalled at the hypocrisy of these royalists who are more offended by clothes and baby showers than they are about the shady and predatorial behavior of Prince Andrew.

    I wish Harry and Meghan much love, health, and success. A lot of people are hoping for their downfall, but I pray they are not affected by all of this unnecessary scrutiny.

    • HK9 says:

      And here we have it. This is ridiculous and at this point I don’t care how much her friends spent it’s their money and they can do what they want. The damn thing didn’t even happen in the UK. I hope they throw her 6 figure parties every chance they get.

  23. bonobochick says:

    I can’t be bothered to be upset about her baby shower on levels.

    That said, unless all of the media or social media pearl clutchers have access to her friends’ receipts for how much they spent on her, a lot of the numbers thrown about are guessing games by the media. I know Daily Mail’s numbers kept increasing with every story they released about her shower. We don’t know if they paid full price, got discounts, or what not. Plus, it’s their money to do what they want with it.

  24. Greta says:

    I hate to say it but it was indeed over the top. You have to look at this from a British-taxpayer-Brexit-Economy might be on the brink of collapse-NHS in crisis perspective. Meghan is a member of the BRF now. A baby shower like this is simply not appropriate in times like these. And it doesn’t matter who footed the bill and if any taxpayers money was spent. Royals are not only celebrities and they have to behave in a way a celebrity doesn’t have to. I love Meghan and Harry and find both of them equally inspiring. They are doing a great job, but this baby shower (in its execution) was a mistake.

    • Mia says:

      @Greta, not picking a fight but asking. Kate to the kids on a vacation during the same time. As I said earlier, that’s security, hotel etc for not only 4 put the staff was well. With Brexit around the corner, why isn’t this being mentioned?

      • Greta says:

        As I mentioned above the problem was the execution. She can have as many baby showers as she wants to, but the product placement for example was wrong. And of course they won’t mention Brexit. This is such a loaded subject, it would make things far too political.

      • Lady D says:

        What products were being shilled? The only thing I heard of was some type of luggage, who each guest got as a thank you* present. It was mentioned because they all left with them.
        *I think they were thank you gifts

    • Princessk says:

      How does a baby shower thrown and paid for by Meghan’s rich friends in America make a meaningful impact on the NHS crisis in the U.K. Or should Meghan have said don’t spend money on me, my new adopted home ( one of the richest countries in the world) is on the brink of a self induced crisis, please send donations to its National Health Service. 🙄

  25. Maxie says:

    It wasn’t paid by the taxpayers but the public may not like such an extravagant display of money as the UK braces for Brexit. It looked a bit out of touch. No one expects a Duchess do have a baby shower at McDonald’s but they could have went to a nice private spa retreat and no one would’ve known. It may have been a little bit too “in your face” for the Brits.

    I don’t think the public will tolerate the 5K outfits for every event after the Queen’s death. Both Meghan and Kate will have to repeat a lot or wear high street stuff like the Queen of Spain for the monarchy to survive.

    • MsIam says:

      Did Meghan cause Brexit? Why then is she being held accountable? I seem to remember a story about a certain 5 year old prince who had a $100k birthday party on an island. There were some who questioned if this was a “bit” over the top but the “outrage” disappeared real quick! It did not continue for months like this mess, with the cost ever escalating . At one point the DM was saying the party cost over $500k but they have since scaled back those numbers. I guess even they realized how ridiculous they sounded.

      • Princessk says:

        Thank you. I still can’t understand the capacity of so many to make idiotic statements.

      • Maxie says:

        I never said she did !?!

        The British Royal family still exists because their people support them but here’s a lot of tension because nobody knows what will happen. It wasn’t the best idea to be a part of a 500K baby shower even if she didn’t pay a cent. PR is everything for that family and that was a mistake. She’s smart enough to learn from it.

        This site seems very American and it doesn’t matter because we don’t have to pay their bills but a struggling Brits may wonder what’s the real point of that family. Tourism? Please. Austerity hit them hard yet the royal family is still spending like there’s no tomorrow. *Not* a good look. The Queen has a lot of goodwill but Kate and Meghan haven’t been around long enough for the Brits to support their multimillion renovations and designer wardrobes.

      • Olenna says:

        @MsIam,
        Brexit is just another excuse for some people to find fault with Meghan. The whole “what about the optics”, “she’s breaking protocol”, “she (and only she) is a spendthrift”, “what about our struggling economy”, and “what about the poor and health care” are all excuses people use to justify their personal dislike while they concern-troll the rest of us. It’s tiresome and as I’ve said before, repeating this bulls*t over and over and thinking it sounds reasoned and convincing makes these people look more and more like the obstinate, misinformation voters who support leaders like Trump or vote for Brexit, as well as hypocrits who regularly insult the average, rational person’s intelligence by repeating that dumbsh*t while they ooh and aah over TQ’s brooches or one of KM’s new uniform coatdresses.

    • Mia says:

      @Maxie I get the clothes part but The Brits can’t tell her friends what to do with their money.

      • Marce says:

        Yes but she can tell her friends that they need to be more discreet considering the situation and hard times in her adopted country

    • Becks1 says:

      Honestly, I’m a big Meg defender, but I can understand the arguments about “how it looked,” but for me the thing is that you can say that about a lot of things the royals do, and for the most part everyone but Meghan gets a pass in that regard.

      • mariahS says:

        Not really, Will and Kate have always been called out in the past for their luxury tips. Take a look back in the archive here or DM & you’ll find many scathing posts/comments. I’m not sure why people are trying to change the narrative on that. With Meghan coming onto the scene, the criticism has slightly died down from the masses, but there are still critiques towards W&K. Not to forget Edward being raked over the coals for his luxury family holidays and unnecessary private plane trips .

      • Becks1 says:

        The narrative IS different though. I’m not sure why there is such a push to ignore that. Even in this thread, people are insisting that W&K’s trips are okay because they were “discrete” or there aren’t any pictures etc, when that’s simply not true. Will and Kate got slammed for some of their vacations because of their overall lack of work, rarely for the actual vacations. And I never see anyone complaining when Kate shows up with new jewelry.

  26. Kc says:

    It was definitely over the top.

    • Yoyo says:

      Says who? Some toffee nose arse.
      All these chicken littles pulling out the Brexit card, you broke it you fix it.

      • Tina says:

        Zara has some lovely dresses. I wish Kate and Meghan wore more Hobbs, LK Bennett, dare I say it even Phase Eight.

  27. Marigold says:

    Something can be over the top no matter who is paying for it, no? It can still be over the top even if someone has done something similarly over the top, no? I don’t care about her shower one way or the other but let’s stop this farce of near constantly putting her on a pedestal.

    • Sara says:

      Wholeheartedly agree.

    • Becks1 says:

      I think this is hard because its such a subjective thing. The rumors/accounts of this shower don’t sound very “over the top” for people with this kind of wealth; it was a fairly small event, they did flower arrangements, etc. But obviously, it was very different from my baby shower, which was hosted by my mother’s best friend at her house (and was very nice in my opinion.) And I assume it was different from most baby showers that others on this board had.

      I’m willing to go out on a limb and say that the Kardashians showers and such are always going to be over the top; I hope we can all agree on that, ha!

      But this shower was expensive by any count (that doesn’t mean Serena couldn’t afford it) and certainly most people don’t have the paparazzi tracking the guests’ arrivals. Those elements of it aren’t Meghan’s fault (or we can debate how much they are her fault) and I think the paparazzi is probably what makes most people frown at it, because then so much of it was publicized.

      So I guess my thing is – I think the shower was expensive, and very different from baby showers in my circle. But the phrase “over the top” certainly has a certain connotation to it (at least here), and its not a good one. And then throw into that complaints about Meghan taking a private plane, which is something royals have often done – and its hard to take some of the criticism seriously.

      • Bren says:

        The baby shower only became an over the top affair when the press found out about it and the paparazzi showed up to take pictures of Meghan entering and leaving the hotel. If that did not happen no one would’ve labeled the event over the top. The attention Meghan draws is what some people have a problem with. If Harry was in attendance with her the attention would’ve been justified according to some. Keep them shook, Duchess Meghan.

    • Eyeroll says:

      @marigold
      Thank you! She is not perfect and as a public (taxpayer funded) figure, she certainly should not be put on a pedestal, none of them should!

      People on here get very aggressive at commenters who dare to say anything even remotely critical about her. There is even one commenter up there who said ‘brexit is just another excuse to criticise Meghan.’ I mean COME ON.

      The truth is that the baby shower didn’t go down wonderfully in the UK – it did seem a little much. I think Meghan will learn from it and move on – as we all should (including dickie whatshisface).

      • Olenna says:

        And, I also said, “hypocrits who regularly insult the average, rational person’s intelligence by repeating that dumbsh*t while they ooh and aah over TQ’s brooches or one of KM’s new uniform coatdresses.” So, Eyeroll, while you’re commenting on your approval of TQ’s or KM’s expensive wardrobe items, I don’t believe you’ve once tied it to Brexit. You are so transparent.

  28. Cee says:

    Funny how he doesn’t think Kate’s baby showers were over the top, eh?

  29. Mrs.Krabapple says:

    If people have a problem with the royal family being insanely rich, then they should rethink having a royal family in the first place. The Queen has gold pianos, tiaras, palaces, security guards — it all comes with having a royal family. So is the problem that they are filthy rich, or that we are AWARE they are filthy rich? Because what’s the difference? If they are rich (which they are), why should they, or we, pretend they are not?

    • Becks1 says:

      Hell the queen has jewelry and tiaras that we don’t even know about anymore – as in some of those things have not been seen in decades. It’s insane. When we see Kate in a “new” piece of jewelry borrowed from the queen, with a note about how it hasn’t been seen since 1985 or whatever, I hope people are equally upset with her for “flaunting her wealth.”

      • Bohemian Angel says:

        @Becks1 EXACTLY! So when the Queen holds that banquet thing and invites royals from different countries, where herself, Camilla, Kate and said other royals turn up in expensive gowns and LITERALLY DRIPPING in diamonds and other precious stones, where is the outrage? They had this a few months back in the middle of Brexit but they didn’t have to tone it down, I wonder why…
        Meghan didn’t cause Brexit, 52% of Brits voted for this crap, THEY caused Brexit. Nobody should tell anyone how to spend their money it’s none of their damn business.
        From a Brit & a remainer who’s fed up of this shit!

    • Katherine says:

      Thank you! This argument is so bizarre to me! This splitting hairs about “flaunting wealth”?

      This family lives in MULTIPLE palaces and appears at formal functions dripping in tiaras and jewels. I get people like “oh the queen eats cereal out of Tupperware how cute”… IN A PALACE

      I guess people just have their head in the sand about the big picture of wealth flaunting for the sake of hysterical nit picking over individual instances?

      Weird mental gymnastics but ok.

      • Lady D says:

        Surrounded by priceless paintings while eating out of that Tupperware bowl. I’d be eating every meal in a different room for years on end.

  30. Littlefishmom says:

    She married into the Royal Family and they’re having their first child, OF COURSE the baby shower is going to be extravagant. Others have parties like this for their dog or cat. The media needs to stfu and lay off of her. Jealous much. She rules, deal with it.

  31. Beech says:

    I wonder if those who voted for Brexit regret it. I wonder if living in palaces with staff, driving Range Rovers, wearing tiaras, surrounded by exquisite antiques and all manner to the manor born think to themselves, “Perhaps this is bad optics?”

    • Bohemian Angel says:

      @Beech, I have a friend that used to be a very close friend say she now regrets voting for brexit, she didn’t think it would go through so maybe it was a protest vote on her part.
      She along with her family voted to leave as they thought Turkey was about to join the EU and they were fed up with immigration esp Muslim immigration.
      They usually go to France/Belguim for their cigarettes (they smoke like chimneys) about 3x a year. After the vote I asked them how they supposed they will get over to France so easily as now to get their cigarettes, their response; ‘Oh, we didn’t think of that’. Some, not all of Brexiteers voted because of immigration, and some voted as a protest vote. So here we are!

      • Bren says:

        Sounds like a version of Trump regret but at least your friends’ family can admit their regret. Our regretfuls will most likely vote for him again despite it all.

      • Casey20 says:

        That’s really sad. Voting for something that would change your country forever with so little thought…. Reminds me of a certain voter that voted for Trump. However, can’t compare 4 years to that level of uncertainty

  32. CES says:

    It’s her and Harry’s first baby. Of course there’s a baby shower and of course it’s going to be over the top.

  33. Dee says:

    A brand new Range Rover a few days after the Duke wrecked his. Was it returned when he turned in hs license? A new helicopter so a prince reluctant to start his real job with elderly relatives working hard on the daily, can play part time helicopter pilot. Middleton Manor upgrades, a tennis court redesign taking land from a neighboring farmer and costing 100K. I could go on about jewelry and Mustique vacations, but a baby shower paid with private funds is making the Brits apoplectic? Surely, you jest.

  34. Casey20 says:

    Do you think Dickie would call a woman living in a castle with a golden piano over the top?