Amanda Seyfried apologizes to influencer she criticized for her ‘bounce-back’ body


Yesterday I read an Amanda Seyfried story by Maria at Lainey Gossip that I considered covering and decided to skip. Maria explained it much better than I could and it reminded me a little of the Olivia Munn incident in that Amanda was punching down. The background is that one of Amanda’s friends made a rude comment on an influencer’s bikini selfie post about how she was proud of her body after having two kids. The influencer, Ariellecharnas, is quite thin and it’s her job to be that way. She wasn’t telling other women they needed to get off their butts to look like her or anything. Amanda’s friend wrote a diatribe about how the influencer needed to acknowledge her privilege and she also made an idiotic “worse things are happening in the world!” argument. So the Instagrammer rightfully blocked Amanda’s friend, which is exactly what I would have done. (We are so used to seeing those kind of BS comments where people hate on us for missing something, don’t contribute to the discussion and go off about something else. Welcome to the Internet.) The influencer also blocked Amanda, so Amanda retweeted her friend’s comment like it was so righteous and true. Here’s what she wrote and at least she didn’t tag the poor woman or post her original photo. (She looks like Emily Ratajkowski.) Of course the commenters on the post linked to it though.

Here’s what Amanda wrote as a caption:

F-k it- this is feed material. My very smart friend (again-not tagging) wrote this on a semi-influencer’s feed and she blocked both of us (even though I didn’t tag her-at least she’s getting the message). If we’re ready to get paid for flaunting our lifestyle (and inspiring some in the meantime) we have to be open to the discussions surrounding what we’re promoting. We have to back ourselves up- not run away from the issues it presents. There are gray areas everywhere. Each of us has a chance to back ourselves- especially on this platform. If you know who you are- take a second to decide if what you’re throwing out there is worth it- in the big picture. 👊🏼

[From Instagram]

This isn’t the worst, but why get all worked up over a woman’s bikini photo? She’s skinny, a lot of people are, they shouldn’t have to apologize and bend over backwards not to offend people by existing. If you don’t like it, unfollow, and it’s definitely her prerogative not to allow bullsh-t comments like this on her Instagram. She doesn’t have an obligation to sit there and take it while people yell at her. Can you imagine the hate this woman gets? She doesn’t have time for that.

As a follow up Amanda basically doubled down with a photo that says “look at me, I’m so cute and quirky!”

I typically like Amanda Seyfried (have you seen her dog?!) so this is disappointing to me. The good news is that she apologized kind of. She did open with one of those “I’m sorry if…” lines, but then she seemed to get it and recovered ok.

To all who feel bullied or thin-shamed during our recent social media discussion:
If you know me or are familiar with any of my beliefs or stances you’ll recognize that it isn’t in my character to tear down anyone for “being who they are”. Each of us has the ability and the freedom to say and do as we choose. However, as I’m acutely aware, there’s a price tag for the group of people who find themselves with a platform to stand on. You have to be aware of the message you’re sending and be able to back it up when faced with criticism (not just praise). Hold yourselves accountable instead of using the terms above.
The only thing I’d take back is exactly how I started this debate. I desperately wish it hadn’t targeted (or blasted) one person (there are MANY who engage in this questionable messaging) and instead started a cleaner, general conversation. No one needs to tear anyone apart. And I regret that it’s present right now. To the lady in question: I’m sorry for the truly negative feels you’ve endured because of this.
Aside from the messy detour? The bigger, important message seems to filtering through and helping a lot of women feel supported. And that’s the name of the game.

Here’s the top comment on this post by Amanda.

The only message Arielle sent was “I am proud of my body after 2 kids”. She didn’t claim to use skinny tea, she didn’t say anyone should look like her, she simply stated that as a mother and a WOMAN she is proud of her body giving birth to two beautiful children.
Now for some reason you and your condescending friend decided to skinny shame and attack her.
If anything her message actually implied all women and mothers should also be proud of their bodies too after giving birth. She is naturally thin and you ATTACKED her. Disgusting.
You and you rude friend looked at that photo and YOU GUYS saw a NEGATIVE message were there was NONE.
Even this post itself it a huge half assed “apology”. Yikes 🤢
So much for women empowerment.

I don’t know if Amanda attacked her really, and I thought her apology was better than this commenter is giving her credit for, but it’s offensive to go after a thin woman and demand she apologize for herself. Amanda does seem to get that somewhat. Ooh remember that fit mom who was telling the rest of us that we’re fat asses for not shaping up immediately after having kids? I forgot that she emailed us! That’s the type of “influencer” rants like this should be reserved for. This woman seems harmless and like she’s just doing her thing. I looked through her IG and she’s not shilling diet products. Also, Arielle handled it like a boss. She didn’t say sh-t and she just kept posting content.

View this post on Instagram

Proud of my body after two kids 💚

A post shared by Arielle Noa Charnas (@ariellecharnas) on



You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

83 Responses to “Amanda Seyfried apologizes to influencer she criticized for her ‘bounce-back’ body”

Comments are Closed

We close comments on older posts to fight comment spam.

  1. Andrea says:

    I know so many women that struggle with their weight post pregnancy. This social media influencer is portraying an image that is unattainable for most and sadly, some men give women a hard time about their bodies because they see women like this and assume all women can look like this.

    • Gingerbread says:

      Yeah, I agree. There are hundreds of comments on this woman’s posts saying BODY GOALS. It’s a very unhealthy mindset. I’m not team anyone in this battle, but I lean towards Amanda here, although the way she went about her message is a bit off.

    • Amelia says:

      I think Maria at LaineyGossip made an interesting point when she said Amanda seems to have no acknowledgment that she is apart of an industry (as an actress and spokesmodel for beauty products) that also perpetuates a certain (sometimes unattainable) standard of beauty. Would Amanda keep this same energy for a super skinny A-list actress like Emma Stone or Keira Knightley? I doubt it.

    • Meg says:

      I agree I lean towards Amandas response on this. Enough pressure on mom’s to be ‘perfect’

    • Eliza says:

      I get that. But most don’t have this body to begin with. She’s genetically blessed plus works hard to maintain. I could see criticism if this was 6 weeks post delivery, but the woman says look at me after a year I did it. At least she’s not saying you can get back to your normal in an unrealistic timeline. Does Amanda go after other famous celebrities postnatal slimdown? No, just a random “influencer” who dared to ignore her friend for a mean comment. Surely taking down the system from the bottom isn’t the best way.

      • Tanya says:

        Sure, except that there’s some sort of photoshopping going on here, based on her legs. It’s absolutely pernicious to pass off as hard work/nature what was obtained via the click of a mouse.

      • ChillyWilly says:

        How do you know she is naturally thin or works hard? She could be starving or on drugs. Social media is teeming with phonies and liars.

    • isabelle says:

      eh…that womans body in no way is my goal body. Very opposite of it.

    • Imeanreally says:

      When you post photos of your body, there will be negative comments. You can avoid this by not posting photos of your body.

      • Anna says:

        Tone down the body shaming.

        I don’t aspire to have this woman’s body, nor do I know (or care) how she’s attained it. But it’s her own business to post pictures of herself (and yes, her body! the horrors!) if she wants to. You don’t get to shame her for it, any more than you get to shame a black woman or a disabled woman for posting pictures of their bodies because they make closed-minded people like you uncomfortable.

        I hope you take a long, hard look at your comment and your attitude.

      • Imeanreally says:

        Anna, who is body shaming? I happen to think she looks great! My point was simply this: If you enter a public forum, there will be criticism; so, if you can’t take criticism, don’t enter a public forum.

        I hope you take a long, hard look at your comment and your attitude.

      • Boodiba says:

        I got your point, even if not everyone did lol.

      • Otaku fairy... says:

        Your implication is that individuals hold no accountability for or should not be criticized for anything they say online, provided that it’s directed at someone who ‘started it’ by allowing them over to be seen in swimwear online. As if being an asshole is not a choice- it ‘s something adults just can’t help doing when they see bodies. That request to take a long, hard look at your attitude was pretty justified and reasonable.

    • rosamund12 says:

      Since when is seeing someone else’s perfect body after two kids supposed to “inspire” me? Off on a tangent a little bit because I don’t think she said anything about empowering me, or inspiring me, but I think it was Alec Baldwin’s wife who gifted us with her aspirational photos of what’s possible after several kids, and “you can too!” No, I can’t. Didn’t look like that before the babies, won’t after. If you really want to do the recently postpartum a good turn, show us a flabby post-baby body and tell us that that’s okay! That what your body *looks* like after a baby is non-issue. Then watch as my stressed, hunched, self-hating shoulders melt back into position. If you love working and getting those endorphins flowing, you go for it. But yeah… honestly, if you want to help out the rest of us, and you look really kick-ass after those work-outs, maybe keep it to yourself. Also, not related, can we strike “you guys” from the lexicon of the influencers? Don’t insult my intelligence. We’re obviously not friends.

    • Wilady says:

      I hear what you’re saying, but every body that isn’t our body is unattainable, if you look at it.

      I think instead of silencing others pride, we should encourage people to love their own bodies and body types and what they can do with them, how they can sculpt and really work at not letting outside influences, or other people’s bodies, change our perception of our own. It’s work, but the change needs to happen in our own minds.

      Small example, I have a more athletic build, but admittedly always admired and wished for a lithe, long lean figure. I had eating disorders for years, abused diets, exercises, even medication to help achieve the aesthetic that was not sustainable or healthy for me. Made me sick, and I had to change ways, so I started running and lifting. I realized I have a totally different body type, and started to try to appreciate the style I had, and did have to mourn, and eventually put to bed the fact I just couldn’t be a string bean like Giselle. Ever. But I found new inspiration in those that had bodies more similar to mine, and started to change my aesthetic and views. Now I’m fully proud of how I look after two kids, and I’d be heartbroken if I was told to be quiet because someone who is tall and lean can’t look like me, or someone with a different build feels bad about my muscle or is jealous of my wrinkly baby belly they don’t have 😉 because they can love their own type too, and then that pain falls away. Sometimes it can creep back, but there’s strength in reminding yourself of your own strength. Sorry this was long.

  2. ali says:

    that is waaaaay too kinda looks like starvation….

    • Garden says:


    • Millenial says:

      I used to follow Arielle and that’s just her entire family’s body type. She has two sisters and they are exactly the same body type. It’s annoying, for sure, because wouldn’t it be nice to have those genes, but I don’t think it’s fair to accuse her of starvation.

      • isabelle says:

        Do really want that type of body? She has little shape, no curvature and is very thin. Not body shaming her as it is her body/choice but….do millions of other women really want that body type? I for one would rather be overweight as her body shape.

      • Lillian says:

        With love, isabelle, what you said is the definition of “shaming” 🙂

      • Dani says:

        No it’s not. Michaela is naturally MUCH heavier than Arielle and has been working our and eating plant based which is why she’s become much thinner. I’ve followed Arielle since before she even got engaged and she was never ever this thing.

    • SparkinggFlint says:

      Come on. This stuff is part of the problem.

    • Arizona says:

      I’m a small woman. I honestly don’t exercise much and eat moderately fine, and I’m 106 pounds. it is natural, whether or not Amanda’s friend think that’s “shit” or not. I have to shop in the Juniors sections, or I wear a size 0 or XS. I don’t have anything close to an eating disorder, and yet people feel perfectly comfortable saying that “real women have curves” or that I “need to eat a cheeseburger” or “I’m way too skinny and need to eat” or that I “look like a little kid”. I have sat in dressing rooms crying because they don’t make clothes small enough to fit me, to the point that I will just buy clothes and try them on at home instead.

      is being skinny easier and more acceptable than being fat? yes, of course. but my husband will tell you that I’ve cried multiple times. it is not okay to say things like this. you wouldn’t think it’s okay to say to an overweight person “they are way too fat, it looks kinda like gluttony”. people need to keep their comments about people’s bodies to their damn selves.

      • Erinn says:

        But there’s a difference between someone being naturally thin like you are (and I know people can absolutely cruel to skinny ladies as well, and I’m sorry you’ve been made to feel awful at any point because of your body) – and someone promoting her body, and saying how proud she is of it while editing the shit out of it. She’s absolutely using the reshape tool in facetune or photoshopping or whatever. And if she wasn’t, I think I’d feel differently about this whole situation.

        But she’s out here holding this up as an accomplishment, as an attainable goal to strive for… when she doesn’t ACTUALLY look like that.

      • Hilarityensues says:

        Same here but there’s a huge difference between hearing something said out of envy and hearing something out of disgust. One stings way more. I don’t let stuff like that bother me like it used to.

      • Diane says:

        Totally agree, I had twins and was 95 lbs a week later. I had to drink protein shakes to get my size back to over 100. I totally agree that people feel more than ok saying someone is too thin. I also think moms get body shamed way too much either way and it’s not appropriate.

    • buensenso says:

      I agree. I genuinely wouldn’t like to look like her. I don’t find her attractive at all.

  3. Dorothy says:

    Amanda WHO this bish needs to hang onto a semi influencer as she called her, to get any coverage. Bravo Amanda we can all remember why we forgot you. Still can’t think of anything she’s in worth caring what she has to say here. Pot meet skinny kettle Amanda

  4. My3cents says:

    I agree with a lot of what they’re saying. As a woman in her 5th decade of life I think i have accumulated critical thinking skills which sadly I think that younger generations don’t always seem to have. I also think that having technology introduced into my life at an older age gave me a more better and healthier body image. I see my daughters growing up into this world of instant models/influencers and I pray that they do grow up with a health body image and mind.
    Agree with the message and need for discussion, guess the delivery was off.

  5. anneliser says:

    My sister looked unhealthy skinny no matter what she ate until she was about 30. She is 5’5″ and couldn’t break 100 pounds no matter how much she ate, and believe me, she ate plenty. I was asked many times if she had an eating disorder.

    My sister never looked even remotely as tiny as that woman. I’m glad influencer-lady is proud of her body, but I hope she is achieving her body goals in a healthy way. I don’t think it’s crazy to be a bit concerned given her extreme physique and the fact that she obviously works out a lot. (My sister never worked out a day before she was 30, lol.) I also have two kids and consider myself slender and healthy (I usually wear a size 4), but I’m guessing I have a good 30-40 lbs on that lady.

  6. escondista says:

    I mostly like Amanda’s message other than section 2. Unnecessary to call her emaciated or imply she has a pre-pubescent body.
    The woman in question does look like she has some privilege. I mostly think that anyone who has time to live on IG with two kids does.
    But her body is fine if she is happy with it and her doctor is happy with it. Women who weigh 250 lbs after two kids are fine if they are happy with it and their doctor is happy with it.

    Also, Amanda didn’t ask the women to apologize, she asked her to acknowledge her privilege. It would be awesome if people would say, “Im proud of my body post-kids. Thanks to my mom for watching them while i workout. Thanks to my job/partner’s job for affording me a trainer and money and time to cook/buy food. Thanks to a society that values my body type. I really am lucky.”

  7. Cee says:

    She’s very thin. And you can’t see muscle definition in any of her photos which is typical of “only cardio and little food” going around at the moment. She shouldn’t be shamed for it though, especially since she’s not shilling anything except her lifestyle (glamorous but down to earth, children, marriage, designer labels, etc… quite common on IG)
    Her health is her business. To some she looks emaciated, to others, she looks aspirational.

  8. Tushy says:

    Seems like everyone needs to take a step back from criticizing others bodies and trying to either diminish accomplishments or feel as if they are somehow wrong for existing and loving their body as it is. Part of self love is allowing others space to love themselves. If you are tearing bodies down and diminishing them as “not real or obtainable” then that makes you part if the problem.

    Everyone spends their time and money to their tastes. I’m not going to pour all of my energy into meal prep and workouts. That lifestyle isn’t for me. I also wouldn’t be happy overweight. That doesn’t make me the metric for right or wrong bodies. If you don’t want to put that amount of time into diet, exercise and calorie counting then don’t. If you want to look like that then thats what its going to take. If you don’t look like that great, you are also beautiful and worthy.

    I can’t ride a horse, but I’m not going to get angry at equestrians for putting the time and effort into riding horses. Good for you, not for me. Same goes to different bodies. I’ll do me, and good for you on you as long as YOU like it.

    • OG Cleo says:

      *claps enthusiastically*

    • escondista says:

      Love this statement. The ONLY thing i’d add is that people get rewarded by society as a whole for being thin; nobody get treated poorly for their lack of equestrian skills but fat people are, at worst, treated like sh*t but are ususally just ignored or blamed by many their professional superiors, healthcare professionals, and potential romantic partners.

    • Wilady says:

      You said this so much better than I did farther up!! Exactly!

  9. Goldie says:

    The influencer, Arielle actually did clap back at Amanda and left a rant about how it’s not her job to make other women feel good about themselves. Then, she deleted it. While, that may be true as an influencer with a fashion brand, she is marketing her lifestyle to other women, and trying to convince them that they too can be fabulous, happy, successful etc, if they buy her products.
    While she certainly has the right to be proud of her body, it would be nice if she acknowledged the factors that allowed her to bounce back after childbirth ( genetics, economics). If she hadn’t mentioned her kids and was simply posting a bikini pic, I might feel differently, but she is the one who made it about childbirth.
    BTW, I have a body type similar to Arielle’s so certainly don’t want to shame her, but can see Amanda’s point.

    The only thing I disliked was the dig about Arielle having an “adolescent body”. Some of us are naturally slim without big boobs or hips, and there’s no need to make anyone feel that they are less of a woman because of it.

  10. Snowslow says:

    I… don’t know what to say. I don’t think we should criticise anyone for posting a semi-narcissistic insta image. It’s their prerogative and sometimes one just wants to share a bit of self-love. But then I put my cynical hat on and look at her body and analyse the choice of posting stuff about your body, your choices, your life. I have a really hard time with that and I’m not sure the benefits are stronger than the disadvantages (too much focus on self, promoting an insane body image, selling your life as a commodity etc). And that body… I have some naturally thin girlfriends and they do not look like that. That’s all I’ll say.

    • Kate says:

      Yyyyeah I agree. On the one hand, everyone should be proud of their body no matter what. Especially a body that has given birth b/c wow that’s a big toll on anyone. Buuuut it’s naïve to pretend that her body isn’t considered ideal by a lot of people including the fashion/entertainment industry (which means it’s all most of us see when we watch tv or flip through a magazine) and that the majority of women do not have that body type naturally or even with a healthy diet/exercise regime. And it’s naïve and maybe irresponsible to ignore the fact that most women who want to emulate that body type have to resort to unhealthy methods to attain it. So I don’t know. Should she hide her body? No. But also I don’t think it’s wrong to point out the main points of Amanda’s message – that that body type is not easily attainable and please don’t all you impressionable youths pin it to your “thinspo” boards.

  11. jennifer says:

    I would not choose to be friends with any of them, they all sound like assholes.

  12. raser1 says:

    The thing is though, no one looks like that. Not even her. She shops a lot of her pictures, you can even see it in picture where she’s wearing all white. The door frame is curving in, it’s subtle, but there’s obvious photo manipulation when you know what you are looking for. The image that Amanda and her friend had a lot to say about was photoshopped too, you can see the warping by her calf in the rug. The fact that these bodies are being presented as an actual reality is what should be the real issue.

    • Erinn says:

      THISSSSSS. All day, this.

      She’s 100% promoting an unrealistic body type, and it’s not even one that she has. Look, I think criticizing people for being skinny or fat or whatever is wrong. But I don’t have a problem with those that call out the people who continually promote this as being the ‘right’ way to look. She should be proud of her body in general, but it does come off as holier than thou when she’s posting such an edited photo.

      I really don’t have much issue with what Amanda said. Her friend got a bit condescending but that’s about the worst I can say. The Arielle woman IS feeding in to the pressure young women (and women of all ages) feel. And I think a lot of the post is VERY important – the privileged life this woman leads does allow her to have much more time and resources than the average person.

      On that original photo you have SO many comments like “i look like a marshmallow after kids” and “what is your diet? can you share it”. Regular everyday people are comparing themselves to her, and striving to look like a photo that doesn’t even look like the woman’s actual body.

      I know someone who edits the crap out of her photos. Eyes of mismatched shapes, curved tiles, curved doors, etc. ALL OVER THEM. And you know, I’ll touch up my photos – edit out the odd acne spot, crop things in a more flattering way, play with brightness/contrast/etc. But I’m not touching the structure of my body. And I don’t understand how the people that DO edit like that don’t see all the telltale editing signs before posting them because a lot of the times they’re soooooo obvious.

      • Lexluthorblack says:

        But you are still editing your image. I just don’t take anything face value because everyone lies.

      • paranormalgirl says:

        I edited out a zit the other day. Sapped that sucker to hell and back. And I am unapologetic.

    • MoreSalt says:

      Well said, this exactly.

  13. Holly says:

    Amanda and her friend took the wrong route to have an important conversation.

    I have followed Arielle for years and she’s … problematic. She has zero interest in having a discussion regarding privilege in a meaningful way, yet wants to make a fortune off selling a mass market line from Nordstrom.

    There is an important conversation and reckoning coming for influencers in regards to transparency and just not being a self absorbed a-hole when you’re making your money off selling stuff. But body shaming her was the wrong place to start.

    • Meg says:

      Good points, I see fault on both sides

    • Hilarityensues says:

      If she has zero interest in having a meaningful discussion then why tf are people defending her ass? Another spoiled self serving narcissist like the Kardashians. Uh no thanks but congrats on your genetics I guess.

  14. Jen says:

    Amanda and her friend lost me when they tried to be too “cute,” with the “honeychild” and “lots to unpack here, I KNOW.” etc-I’m saying Amanda and her friend because I’m sure she was involved in writing it, especially since they were both blocked.
    However, Arielle Charnas has kind of been iffy for me for a long time. She has always been extremely, extremely thin-I don’t know if she’s healthy or not, that’s not my place to say, but I do know the thousands of comments that have poured in for YEARS from girls saying she has the perfect body and how much they wish they could look like her has always unsettled me. I used to look at her profile years ago and feel bad about my weight. That’s not really on Arielle but as far as I know, she’s never really acknowledged the “skinny worshippers” that flood her comments, never said anything about how her body type is not the universal norm and not what you must try to attain to be attractive. She’s a savvy woman-I kind of look at her as one of the first influencers and she built up a huge following over the years-so I know she’s aware and I’m not sure how I feel about her reaction, or lack of, to it.

    • elle says:

      That “lots to unpack here, I know” got me, too. Umm, it’s all right there, no unpacking needed.

  15. DS9 says:

    I think the influencer is perpetuating a harmful standard with that self congratulatory humble brag. I won’t speculate on whether she came by it naturally or what kind of work she puts it. I’ll just say it’s unattainable and leave it at that.

    But Amanda’s behavior and that of her friend was utterly ridiculous.

    They could have easily spoken out to the topic in general and because these women are everywhere, easily made their point.

    Instead, they made a societal concern into a personal attack and undermined their own point about women being able to feel beautiful in their own skin.

    Poor form.

  16. styla says:

    I think this is ludicrous. Stop policing slender women and the mom squad needs to drink a bottle of wine, get laid and chill the F out.

  17. Jb says:

    Eh I don’t like Amanda at all BUT I can see where she was coming from though agreed she approached the wrong way. These influencers, including Something Navy, feed into the bounce back narrative and create this unrealistic expectation for mothers to look fit and back to their bodies right after childbirth which is not realistic at all. What this article fails to mention is that the influencer took issue with the fact comments were noting that though she should feel proud she has so many resources (nannies, money for best food trainers etc) that allows her to look like this which isn’t possible for 98% of people. She then told commenters “that had nothing to do with it”. People rightly called her out on not acknowledging her privilege and she wasn’t having it. Again punching down or body shaming is never ok but “influencers” really do have a platform to millions of people, many of whom are young women and men who believe this is normal and plant unrealistic expectations for their future. I believe that was what Amanda was trying to convey…the more important things to talk about and skinny comments were dumb and weakened her argument. Painting the influencer as some innocent victim of cyber bullying however is wrong.

  18. Otaku fairy... says:

    Eh. On the one hand, she has a valid point. But on the other hand, this is still a rich, conventionally attractive A-list celebrity starting public drama for attention with a woman with less fame, influence, and power than her (who wasn’t even doing anything bigoted) KNOWING that there are men (and others) who spend day in and day out on the internet looking for reasons to verbally abuse and harass random women over nothing. It’s not exactly a lack of critical thinking skills to point that out. There were better ways she could have promoted body positivity/ discussed the privilege of wealth.

  19. MariaS says:

    I don’t understand this requirement that folks caveat everything they post. She’s supposed to acknowledge her privilege every time she posts a photo of her thin body? Should a size 16 woman caveat her posts with, “I’m so grateful to live in a country where I have both the means to afford, and access to great food”? Should I acknowledge my privilege of fertility every time I post a photo of my kids? If someone’s posts don’t speak to/enrage/upset you, UNFOLLOW. I was incredibly thin until I turned 39 – no amount of protein or weight gain shakes or weight lifting helped. At 5′ 2″ I hovered around 95 lbs even after having 2 kids. Then I turned 39 and suddenly gained 20 lbs, and finally felt comfortable with my appearance. Up until that point I was teased, questioned, and outright bullied. In HS a group of girls surrounded me in the locker room to tell me how disgusting my body was. I never changed in there again. I had an obnoxious neighbor yell from the front porch of her house next door, “What’s wrong with you? Are you sick? You look terrible!” Seriously folks, stop body shaming people whether it’s because you think they’re too fat or too skinny. It’s none of your business and no one owes you an apology, explanation, or justification.

    • Arizona says:

      THANK. YOU.

    • Holly says:

      I don’t think she should apologize or post an explanation every single time. My goodness she has the right to live her life.

      But she is an influencer who makes millions a year and has a lucrative deal with nordstrom to make a mass market clothing line. It would be amazing to see her acknowledge the differences in lifestyle between herself and those she is marketing to, considering the masses have contributed to her financial gains.

      It’s an even more grey area than celebrity, influencers. Because she is speaking directly to us, she is marketing directly to us based on how things appear in her life.

      I am naturally thin, 5’2 and 100 lbs. I would be heartbroken if people said these things about me and my body, but I think this comes from a build up of other issues with her and influencers.

  20. Brazilian says:

    Sorry, but there’s no whiff of Emily Ratajkowski in the influencer. Anyways…. Seyfried could have saved herself from being a snotty a**hole with a roof made out of glass.

  21. Meg says:

    I just dont like this idea that women feel the need to justify their bodies for the public’s satisfaction. This woman didn’t message people in her life, ‘I’ve worked hard I met my goal!’ Ive had friends accomplish something like a Marathon or education etc and we’re more than happy to cheer for them but this woman is humble bragging to people she doesn’t know which feels instead of genuine- ego driven and body shaming if u dont look like her.
    Do male social media influencers post things like this? I’m genuinely asking. Women are told what to do with our bodies, our lives, when to start our families, how to parent etc it never ends. We shouldn’t have to justify something as personal as our bodies for the public satisfaction it won’t decrease ur lack of respect for your body if u fulfill society expectations for how u look it will only maintain u thinking ur body is only acceptable conditionally and increase society patriarchal power over u contintinuing to define women by our bodies

  22. Naddie says:

    No sympathy for those influencers. One has to be really dumb to not see how women are pressured to get thin as soon as the baby comes out. Also, thin shaming is bs. Every single person who brings that always comes with a personal example, but how many people we know that are fat shamed? Damn, there’s not even exclusive, high paid jobs for fat people like there is for skinny women.

    • Jaded says:

      Totally agree Naddie. My older sister was always a ‘burly” girl and unfortunately had some psychological disorders that eventually morphed into eating disorders. She finally got her wish and got thin, then she died of major organ failure. I HATE with a passion these bragging influencers because there are enough fragile egos and psyches out there that will be affected negatively by this kind of arrogant self-promotion.

      • Naddie says:

        I’m really sorry for your sister, I hope she’s in a good place and in peace.
        To me those influencers should be thankful that many people buy their crap, despite the people smart enough to call them out.

  23. Andie says:

    Um first of all the original message is worded so condescendingly and self-congratulatory. I can’t.

    On the other hand I find it extremely unsettling how much some of our culture celebrates skinny mom bodies. I get constant remarks about how I don’t look like someone with three small kids due to my body size. I also have some kind of as yet undiagnosed health issue (suspected IBS, Crohn’s, or something.) I’m skinny bc my body literally doesn’t absorb energy from food properly…

    …and that’s what we celebrate in our culture.

  24. BANANIE says:

    I don’t understand why people don’t think for themselves more. I feel like, in general, if you were raised well you were raised with self-confidence and taught not to care what other people think. I’m tired of all the arguments about how society pressures people. People need to gain some self-respect and rise above. I’m not saying I never feel pressure to be thin. I’m saying that it’s taken a lot of work but I’ve gotten to a place where I can really feel “you do you” authentically.

    This is not meant to criticize anyone who feels pressure! I just think we would all do well to care more about our own opinions about ourselves than other people’s.

  25. Annie says:

    Here’s the Big Question though: how do you acknowledge that this kind of (frankly) thinspiration post makes some people feel lousy without berating the woman who posted it? Maybe the answer is putting out into the world messages and ideas that affirm *others* rather than yourself? I’m honestly not sure.

    …Any philosophers out there want to weigh in?

    • Naddie says:

      My answer (not even close to be a philosopher ): Just don’t give a damn about the woman who posted it, simple like that. The criticism is not about being thin or loving it anyway.

    • Hilarityensues says:

      They dont care if it makes another woman feel like crap. They WANT women to feel envious of them. Arielle already said “it’s not her job to make other women feel good about themselves” so there ya go. These women use feminism and female empowerment for self serving reasons.

  26. A.Key says:

    What’s funny here is that Amanda, also a mom, looks as thin as this woman who her friend is thin-shaming.
    Pot kettle.
    Also, people really have way too much free time on their hands…

  27. drea says:

    Oh look. A whole thread of women supporting women. So heartwarming!

  28. MrsPanda says:

    I was somewhat neutral when I read this, but actually gasped at how thin the influencer looked. It may be a healthy weight for her metabolism etc… but I’m doubtful anyone can be that thin and not be somewhat starving themselves. If she isn’t, she’s one of the 0.08 percent of the human population and should be seen as an anomaly and not someone to aspire to emulate. I don’t think it’s healthy for women to see such images, no matter how natural or effortless it may be for said anomaly to be that size. I do agree Amanda punched down though and she’s made a fortune out of her beauty and body shape too, Hollywood women and influencers are BOTH behind the rest of us with this stuff. All I see here is a conventionally beautiful woman who makes money from her image versus another conventionally beautiful woman who makes money from her image.

  29. yeet says:

    I think that centering the convo on physical health is always going to end badly. And what the real conversation needs to be centered on is mental health. If you work out and watch what what you eat, fine. But if you are promoting a lifestyle where you actually can’t stop working out, because you would hate your body if you gained 10 lbs, even if you’re injured, or sick, postpartum, not sleeping well, etc.- all these times that your body might change a little due to life changes and needs kindness not fat cutting measures and a stricter diet and supplements – then maybe you need to take a minute and ask yourself if you are ok with your mental health?

    We as a culture already center bodies like that of Charnas because of their association with youth and health, but what if centering bodies (instead of the overall person) is hurting the culture of our children overall? How many little girls grew up with moms or aunts or friends or grandmas who had eating disorders/disordered eating, who make comments that they’re never that thin, or how they hate their bodies or talking about good/bad foods? It’s the toxic water we swim in, and we don’t even notice it most of the time, but it affects us.

    and let’s be real – people praise one body type and rally against another, for multiple reasons – i.e. they fear gaining weight because of its association with being older, because there is social marginalization – poor medical care and societal mistreatment that comes with gaining weight – its association with illness that you chose (no one chooses illness!), its association with poorer job choice (when a woman looks like Roger Ailes and heads up NBC/ABC/CBS hit me up), and finally being subject to abuse by society at large, esp cis/het men.

    these problems don’t just exist for women – Johnathan van Ness of Queer Eye tried to have this conversation on his insta about the use of steroids/unhealthy dieting in the gay community to promote unattainable six packs, and the harmful effects on lbtq+ youth and their physical and mental health, and people could only respond, “I’m offended that you think my six pack is from a steroid.”

    If you’re thin, you have privilege. People presume you have health EVEN IF YOU DON’T. Even if you’re kate moss smoking ciggies and drinking yourself to the bone, or naomi campbell throwing phones at people. and no shame to these women, but they are both victims as well as promoters of toxic body standards – just like men can both benefit as well as suffer under patriarchy. And is likely the case for Charnas as well. It happens.

    Let’s focus on mental health, people, for the kids. Some people (due to say, being neurodiverse, disabled, autoimmunity) will never be physically healthy or mentally healthy by typical standards, but we can still focus on helping them be mentally okay.

  30. bears says:

    I looked like this woman until I was about 23ish? And I spent a lot of those years hating my body, because I didn’t have curves like “real women”. I knew, objectively, that there were plenty of people who envied my body type, but that didn’t do much to mitigate the pain when someone would call me a stick, tell me to eat more, outright ask me if I was anorexic, or otherwise imply that there was something wrong with me. Eventually, my body changed and matured and I grew that booty I always wanted, as well as making peace with my B-cups and realizing that overall, the bulk of one’s self confidence should not come from what their body looks or doesn’t look like. Perhaps that is her natural body type, perhaps she takes diet pills and laxatives, perhaps she likes to jog a lot, but she’s not my friend or loved one so it really doesn’t matter to me and I’m not going to pretend that I give a crap about her health/body for the purposes of performative self-fluffing. Holy hell, the ego on some people is just crazy out of proportion to their actual importance.

  31. K says:

    Ugh, I couldn’t even parse what I just read, it sounded like a bunch of noise.

    Here’s the thing:
    We need to just let up on comparing our body with others, because it’s such a waste of time. Nobody has it perfectly figured out. We’re each born into one body in this life and should concentrate on what we can do with it, make the best of it, nurture it. We each have quirks or challenges that we need to find a way to work with.

    This Arielle woman has a very different body type/genetics than mine, so no matter what either of us did we wouldn’t look the same–and that’s okay. We’re very different people, but we both get the opportunity to embrace our own bodies, “flaws” and “blessings” alike. If she’s pleased with her body for allowing her to do what she wants in life, such as have children and look a certain way, then great. I can admire her confidence, even if I wouldn’t trade bodies or lifestyles with her.

    What I don’t really admire is people following her as an audience that continually worships or bashes her body. If people minded their own business more, there wouldn’t be as much tension, envy and comparison. So-called “influencers,” politicians, actors, etc., only have power over society if we give it to them. There is SO MUCH MORE to life than taking selfie after selfie.

  32. DCgirl says:

    Mostly it’s this idea that these IG accounts exist for women to just gather compliments on their bodies and looks . Over it. Want to show off your style/fashion. Cool. Want to show off your paintings, garden, cooking skills, weight lifting techniques, funky hair styles, needlepoint designs, karate skills, whatever you do that you are proud of and that others might be interested in or inspired by to create something of their own. But just picture after picture of your own body and then you sit back and read all the “ your body is my life long goal” “ OMG you are perfect” comments. F off. Inspire and share something real. I have zippy pity for this broad.

  33. Dani says:

    I still have no idea what an influencer does, but I’m guessing it’s a nicer way to say “unemployed.”

  34. Dani says:

    The issue isn’t how thin she is or her body. The issue is the image she’s perpetuating – that a working mom of two shouldn’t have an issue bouncing back. She’s not acknowledging her major wealth and privilege. The fact that she has round the clock care for her kids and endless support from family. She’s not showing that she has someone make her food daily, someone clean her house, take care of her kids, run her company all so that she can have time to work out at 11 am as opposed to an actual working mothers either 5 am workout or 10 pm work out. She NEVER owns her privilege, she never admits how much easier her life is, all while trying to appeal to women who are no where near the level of financial comfort and stability she has. All while producing a mediocre line that is over priced and falls apart at the seams after the first wash. She is banking on all of these womens insecurities and desire to be like her although realistically WE CAN’T.

    It doesn’t help that her husband is a complete douche bag who posted the most disgusting, shameful post about how even if you have an eating disorder you can’t achieve a body like his wifes. He is the epitome of entitled rich boy who only go to where he is because his parents are rich. They are all so disconnected from reality all while trying to make money off of peoples reality. Amanda and her friend are 100% right.