I haven’t paid much attention to Channing Tatum lately. His marriage to Jenna Dewan fell apart in the spring of 2018, and by October 2018, he was dating British singer Jessie J. They’re still together as far as I know, and as far as I know, he and Jenna seem to have worked out a good co-parenting situation and everybody seems to get along. Still, Channing likes to improve himself, which is why he’s in therapy. He also likes to study his horoscope too, I guess, which is why he downloaded an app called The Pattern. The Pattern uses your birth date and your time of birth (like, the hour and minute) to give you a full, daily horoscope treatment. And apparently, The Pattern is eerily good. Channing did an IG video where he freaked out about how good The Pattern is, and how it seemingly mimicked the sh-t he was working on in therapy:
Channing Tatum's Virgo moon snapped. pic.twitter.com/IXW1vo2HU5
— E! News (@enews) July 12, 2019
He says to camera:
“People of The Pattern, people that use The Pattern, you need to DM me right now and tell me how you know this stuff. I don’t even know if I want to know this stuff. I don’t even know if I want to know- I don’t know if anybody should know this stuff. I was just in therapy yesterday—yeah I’m in therapy, whatever, everyone should be in therapy,” the actor continued. “And I just get a notification on my phone this morning, boop, pops up, and using the exact words that we were using in therapy…is the phone listening? Are you listening through the phone, Pattern? A.I., the algorithm that is The Pattern, are you listening through my phone and then just regurgitating the stuff that I’m afraid of? You know what? Pattern people, you should just call me. That’s what should happen right now. You should just DM me. If you know so much, you know how to get in touch me with me now, don’t you? So just do that. Just, I need answers right now.”
Many people thought that this was some kind of ass-backwards celebrity endorsement of an app, and that Channing was getting paid for it. Could be. I don’t know. On the other side, Channing is a Taurus, and in my experience, Tauri are pretty predictable – all stubbornness and foot-stomping and my-way-or-the-highway. What’s he afraid of? That someone will make him do something he doesn’t want to do. That he’ll lose control. There you go, now can I have that horoscope-app money?? In all seriousness though, yes, the app is listening. If you bring your phone into your therapy session, everyone is listening to you – the government, the NSA, Google, Amazon, horoscope apps, everybody.
Photos courtesy of WENN.