Lupita Nyong’o on the #MeToo era: ‘I think there’s also at times an oversensitivity’

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Lupita Nyong’o covers the October issue of Vanity Fair and wow, is this a striking cover. The green is so vivid! And Lupita is crazy photogenic. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bad photo of her. Lupita agreed to the cover to promote an assortment of projects, from her role in The Rise of Skywalker to the publication of her new children’s book, Sulwe. As per usual in the current era of VF, the cover story is overwritten and kind of tedious, but Lupita still shines. She’s not really saying anything new, but she’s smart and interesting. You can read the full piece here. Some highlights:

Two years past the Harvey Weinstein revelations: “There is definitely more of a sensitivity toward sexism, chauvinism, abuse,” and that many film sets often employ an “intimacy coach. In the past, when it came to physical combat, there were always consultants on set, but when it came to intimacy there was never, ever somebody present to help actors navigate that. Now you have that, which I think is a great inclusion, and ensures that those kinds of abuses don’t happen. I think there’s also at times an oversensitivity, which I just think is the nature of the pendulum shifting, and it takes time to find the balance. I’m quite happy that there is that kind of extreme change, and hopefully we find equilibrium as we move forward.”

On the speculation that she’s dating Janelle Monae or Michael B.Jordan: “I feel like there’s parts of myself that I care to share and then there are parts that I don’t.”

Learning to pick her battles: She fought “pettier” ones—but purpose clarifies itself, and her courage to speak out is innate. “I was born into a political family. My father was fighting for what he believed in. I think it was really just instilled in me that there are things in this world that are worth changing—part of living is about trying to transform the world into, you know…the world that we want to be a part of. As I prepare, I have to articulate to myself why I’m doing this. The secondary thing is definitely the people. When I choose projects, I want to have faith that as an artist it will speak to a time when it is needed as much as it speaks to me at the time that I make it.”

On Black Panther: “In Black Panther, I felt that the African experience was allowed to exist aspirationally. I think it’s more common in America to hear of the struggle of black people than it is to hear of the success. It’s more of a sensation to have a headline about a struggle, you know? ‘Lupita Shunned by People for Her Hair Texture.’ The struggle through having dark skin is clickbait. So when Black Panther came along…it was so refreshing to work on an African narrative that did not lead with the struggle of being African.”

[From Vanity Fair]

There’s a ton of other quotes, about Black Panther and various other projects. She sounds crazy-busy and but she also sounds like she’s figured out some smart work-life balance. She prioritizes herself, her mental health and her physical health by taking meditation trips and that kind of thing, and she’s able to multi-task and keep a lot of projects and jobs in the air. Respect for Lupita!

Cover and photos courtesy of Vanity Fair.

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48 Responses to “Lupita Nyong’o on the #MeToo era: ‘I think there’s also at times an oversensitivity’”

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  1. BlueSky says:

    I’m so happy for her success and that she’s been able to avoid the Oscar curse.

    You’re right. She’s crazy photogenic. Just stunning.

  2. Laura says:

    I love her so much & wish the best for her.

  3. Jade says:

    I remember when some people gleefully predicted that she would fade after her Oscar and she’s still there thriving and lovely.

    • Earthbound says:

      I thought she wouldnt get work, but Im so glad I was wrong. Also this cover is everything, she is so beyond gorgeous.

    • Kendra says:

      I don’t recall seeing anyone gleefully predicting that assuming it based on her light resume at that point and little work black actresses often got. But I always assumed she would get work since she had name recognition and the fashion attention on top of the Oscar win and partly why she didn’t work much was because she had an idea of picking only certain roles not anything.

      • The Recluse says:

        I suspect it had more to do with the Oscar jinx: some first time nominees/winners saw their careers peter out after that.
        Catherine’s Zeta Jones for instance went into a major career lull after winning. She seems to have been busy just living, which is lovely and now she’s resurfacing.
        There are other examples, but the names escape me.

  4. tempest prognosticator says:

    That is a stunning cover.

  5. tw says:

    I’m glad she discusses her meditation retreat. I wish meditation was taught in schools, just 10-15 minutes a day would create a great foundation for kids.

    • ew says:

      their parents could teach that.

      • MC2 says:

        Parents AND schools can teach meditation.
        My son does meditation in a class full of kids & it’s the best thing I’ve ever witnessed. Group meditation is different than personal meditation & keeps kids better focused to keep on track, not move & learn to be still. It’s an amazing life tool!

      • emily says:

        My son’s preschool (corporate preschool) and public elementary have both taught Yoga; as MC2 said, it’s a different experience when the kids meditate – or do yoga – together as a group. My son has mild autism and severe ADHD…sitting still is not his natural state! He loves doing yoga with his classmates, though, and enthusiastically teaches me what he’s learned after school.

    • TheHufflepuffLizLemon says:

      I feel like so many American schools are built around this “core” of performance only in specific categories, instead of a holistic focus on helping students learn to think and grow. Meditation, EQ, health and wellness… don’t often make it into the focus. MC2, that’s fantastic.

      My son is in a school that is centered around project based learning-everything they do is built on learning through application vs teaching to a test and rote memorization. It’s teaching him to think and problem solve and apply knowledge as building blocks vs just facts, and I love it. It’s meant to prepare them to function and succeed in the real world, which should be the goal of education.

    • ChillyWilly says:

      I so agree, tw. Kids today are so busy and bombarded by technology. Meditation in school would be really beneficial.

    • Vizia says:

      There are now schools who are teaching meditation during detention, and it’s so much more effective than punishment.

  6. Seraphina says:

    Forbes had an article a few weeks ago about how the repercussions of the metoo movement has led to many men not wanting to hire women for fear of what has been going on. And it went on further to say that the more attractive the applicant, the more they shied away from. Which sucks if true and I don’t doubt there is truth to it. I remember the men at work being hesitant of how to act towards us.

    Once the dust settled I believe it helped to bring to light how badly we have been treated and taken advantage of. But I can see how people had become over sensitive to it. I can see what she’s saying.

    • Birdix says:

      I respectfully disagree. There’s so much more progress to be made, I don’t think focusing on over sensitivity is productive at all.
      (And if a celebrity who wasn’t beloved by this site suggested similarly, they’d be dragged for it…)

    • Pixie says:

      LOL, that article is the worst. Men are accused of sexism, and their response is to double down on the sexism? And somehow this is the fault of the women who spoke out initially? Amazing.

    • Hikaru says:

      “many men not wanting to hire women for fear of what has been going on. ”

      Nah, it’s just the same men who never wanted to hire women in the first place now finding the convenient excuse to get away with what they always wished they could say openly – that they don’t want to hire women.

    • Joanna says:

      Just another way for men to play the victim. Like how they can’t be held responsible for sexual assault, she was wearing a low cut shirt, how can they be expected to resist that? If men act properly towards women, they won’t have any problems. Sure, they can be accused but what are they going to be found guilty of doing if they did nothing? I had a manager who was fired come back to visit his friends and laid a kiss on me, saying I couldn’t do anything, he didn’t work there anymore. And his friend, my boss at that time, laughed. I would be perfectly happy if I never worked for another man again.

      • Svetlana says:

        Never work for another man again? Kind of painting all men with the same brush, I thought we were promoting fairness in the workplace.

        I see where she is coming from with the over sensitivity comment.

        Sometimes I’m embarrassed to be a woman.

    • Louise177 says:

      When I read stories about men not wanting to work with women it’s just a red flag that these men would harass/assault women. They’re used to getting away with it but now women are beginning to feel more comfortable about reporting harassment.

      • TheHufflepuffLizLemon says:

        So, I agree, but I also think it’s men who have never had to truly think about it. What’s telling is how they react if they make that comment and you challenge it.
        My boss is a known advocate for women, someone who has used his privilege to promote, hire, develop, and encourage growth in female talent. He once said, you know, I feel like it’s getting so bad, anyone can be accused, and I just don’t know how common this is. So I pulled out my burn file. In it is every gross email, comment, assault, witness, date, and time of occurrence, etc. that have taken place at this company only. The time someone grabbed my breast and the only reason HR took action is because I had an unimpeachable witness. He had been accused twice before but no witnesses, no action. The gross emails about my clothes, what I should wear, what makes them think of me (these are legit things Director+ at a Fortune 50 put in writing).

        I think that there are good men who honestly had no idea how bad it was, because they’ve never witnessed it. And when confronted with the truth, with the actuality of yes, it happens, and it happens to people you know…
        How they react then, is the most telling piece. In my boss’s case, he sat, open mouthed, as I reviewed it, and while he tried to absorb. And then, he started asking what I consider decent questions: do you want to go to HR? I will support you, I will address this with the person, etc. Not all men react like this, and that’s the indicator for me. If they get uncomfortable when someone says this happened to me, if they argue it isn’t that bad… they’re predators or predators in waiting.

      • Seraphina says:

        I agree. I would be more comfortable reporting now as well. I worked as an intern at our state’s legislature. The aide was a dirty old man who at one point touched my thigh to take off a loose thread. I told him he’d lose a limb if he touched me again but I should have gone straight to HR.

      • Bree says:

        I TOTALLY agree with HufflepuffLizLemon! “I think that there are good men who honestly had no idea how bad it was, because they’ve never witnessed it.” And you can tell everything by their reaction: “if they argue it isn’t that bad… they’re predators or predators in waiting.” I’d add, if they excuse it, etc. This is why my eyes roll when the ONE guy who’s dared to tell me MEN are harder off now.

        I do think about metoo when in different parts of Europe, or with men from different parts of the world. There entire street experience and street presence would have to change, to fit the direction we are going. And then I remember that every day, all day long, I have to look after my shoulder, move away from men, and fight for my voice at the table of my profession. So, yeah, they can catcall and stare a bit less, no one will die.

  7. Pixie says:

    I adore her and she is stunning and unbelievably talented. That being said, I have no idea what she is talking about in terms of over sensitivity. I presume she is talking about women being oversensitive, but I truly haven’t seen that anywhere and honestly, I am still waiting for all the so-called repercussions and consequences for the men that were accused. Looks like most of them took a year off, sat on a beach with all their piles of money and all headed right back to work – Even Weinstein has yet to spend a night in jail. If anyone is over sensitive it is all the men and misogynists who are bending over backwards to somehow make make men the true victims in this epidemic of sexual violence against women.

  8. Rapunzel says:

    Sorry, but this is some equivocating BS from Lupita. There’s no oversensitivity. There’s just men who are pissed times are changing and refusing to adapt. And men trying to label women as oversensitive so they can have an excuse not listen to valid complaints.

  9. Naddie says:

    I don’t see any woman being “oversensitive”. We’re actually way too tolerating around men. We’re in 2019 and I still see women toning down their speech so men won’t feel threatened. I like Lupita but I hate what she said here.

  10. Patty says:

    I’d like more context about what she was saying and then there’s also this: https://neurosciencenews.com/emotion-memory-8148/amp/

    Maybe that’s what she means that people can be overly sensitive and interpret something the wrong way? All I know was that she was hella pissed when Harvey Weinstein made it a point to refute her story so she should be real careful about calling other people too sensitive.

    • Bree says:

      Emotion may make memory unreliable, but that’s memory for you. Trauma, actually, often causes memories to be artificial frozen (staying the same) in your mind.

  11. emmy says:

    Oof. I disagree strongly with her on the oversensitivity but I could respect it if she had at least said what she meant. She is saying women are now too sensitive except that sounds terrible so she uses the passive. Women are not overly sensitive. We still accept mountains of bs daily.

  12. Jaded says:

    I don’t think it’s “over-sensitivity” but rather women gathering strength from each other as we try to stick up for ourselves against this f*cking misogyny and paternalism that still exists everywhere. In 2008 I was working for the SVP of HR at a large entertainment company. He liked to think he was all “zero tolerance” in regards to ANY kind of harassment, sexual or otherwise, and insisted that every new hire be put through anti-harassment training. Guess what happened? He sent around a horribly vulgar and sexual email pretending to be me to his buddies in the company, people I worked with on a daily basis. I found it as I had access to his email and he forgot to delete it. I finished my work that day, put my out-of-office notifications on and walked out at 5:00 for the last time. I hired a lawyer the next day, sent him a copy of the email and he was aghast. I won a generous settlement and never looked back. At first I was afraid that he would fight back and slander me but I had to do it. My relationship with him and his male cohorts was now toxic. He was removed from his position after the lawyers agreed on my settlement (it took 2 months) and I was damn proud of myself for standing up to him.

    So no, it’s not over-sensitivity, it’s putting shameful behaviour under a harsh light and not tolerating anymore.

  13. Your Cousin Vinny says:

    Can’t say I understand the comments on oversensitivity, I feel women have been told for centuries that we are too over sensitive and that’s how the abuse and harassment has been allowed to continue. Again, this could be a case of me misunderstanding her view.

    Aside from that, the cover is breathtaking, Lupita is absolutely stunning.

  14. liv says:

    I don’t think the “oversensitivity” was a general statement on women dealing with harassment in the workplace. From the context it seems to me she’s referring to intimacy coaching on set, that sexually charged situations are being treated with painstaking delicacy, perhaps to a heightened degree right now because the lid has been blown off how commonplace sexual predators are in every workplace. Her argument, if I read it correctly, is that the increased sensitivity is more than welcome on movie sets, and when the concern for respectful interactions sometimes gets a little overwrought — actors are professionals, after all, who are trained in and understand how to create staged intimacy — that’s okay too because film and television productions will work out a new equilibrium over time.

  15. Jess says:

    Love her and those photos are stunning, but I’m not thrilled with the “over-sensitivity” comment. I get the idea that she’s saying we’re all struggling to figure out what should be and shouldn’t be okay, but to use that term once again implies that women are overreacting to things, which has been how men have gaslit women for years.

  16. JanetFerber says:

    She looks like a goddess on that cover.

  17. cate says:

    oversensitivity? that is really disappointing and inaccurate. what a shame