Liv Tyler: Marriage should be a reward for surviving your relationship

If you told me that Liv Tyler was married to Dave Gardner, the father of her two youngest children, I would believe you. I know she was married to British rocker Royston Langdon, with whom she has son Milo, 14, from 2003 to 2008. She got engaged to Gardner in 2015 and they have son Sailor, 4, and daughter Lulu, 3. They never married though, and I only know that because she talked about it in this interview with Tatler, saying that she didn’t want to get married again. As a side note, the Tatler photos are ridiculous. It takes a lot of work to make Liv Tyler look bad.

On the British class system
As an American, I find the [British] class system really oppressive. We’re raised that anyone can be anything they want; if you work hard at something, apply yourself, you can come from nothing and have everything. You can also have everything and go to nothing.

On the royal wedding
Sitting in the church was my favourite part of the whole experience… I don’t even have the words to describe how magical it was. And then the protocol of who came in where and went out where, and where we were sitting and how to behave – it was so interesting. And then, once it was over and we got into the party, it was very relaxed and very fun and very playful. Suddenly, everything got very loose and not at all formal.

On if she’ll marry Dave
I love being engaged, but I don’t really have a desire to get married,’ she explains. ‘I always felt like marriage should be more of a reward… For surviving your relationship… I feel everyone’s got it backwards.

[From Tatler via People]

I think a lot of divorced women feel that way, that if it’s not broken they shouldn’t try to “fix” anything in their relationship. It’s somewhat of a privileged position, in that Liv doesn’t need the tax or insurance benefits which some people marry for. Marriage can be a practical decision just as much as a romantic one.

Last week Architectural Digest did a profile of Liv’s NY brownstone, which she bought in her mid 20s and gutted and rebuilt, painstakingly recreating historical details. They have a video with her giving a tour of her home too. I really like her design style, it’s comfortable yet luxurious and elegant. She has a huge pink velvet sofa. Her kitchen is gorgeous and her bathrooms are retro. In their writeup AD called Dave Liv’s husband, so I’m not the only one who thought they were married!

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

25 Responses to “Liv Tyler: Marriage should be a reward for surviving your relationship”

Comments are Closed

We close comments on older posts to fight comment spam.

  1. Lisa says:

    Whatever floats her boat.

  2. Jess says:

    I agree re marriage. As a divorced mom of two kids with a long term boyfriend, I see no need to get married ever again (unless, as you point out, I ever desperately need health insurance).

  3. CharliePenn says:

    First of all I adore her. I watched some of the show Harlots on Hulu, her voice is so mesmerizing as always and she is just so gorgeous in all the 18th century costumes…

    But I totally don’t get this quote. So at what point are you supposed to get this “reward” of marriage? And is she saying you should be married to someone with whom you have to struggle just so “survive” the relationship? I just don’t really get it!

    • LaurynB says:

      I think Diane Kruger said the same thing. She means you should get married after you’ve spent your whole life together. They see marriage as a celebration. Like yay we made it 40 years 🎉

    • Um says:

      I understand it to mean that it seems odd to meet someone and spend around two years getting to know them and then make this big decision to spend your entire life together. It should be after many years of a successful relationship that you say, okay, I want to keep doing this forever; let’s have a party! I get that’s not practical for most.

    • Snowslow says:

      I got married after 19 years of relationship and 4 kids. It was truly a celebration of our years together to share with the kids. Totally get her.

  4. StarGreek says:

    I agree with the article, she thinks like that about marriage because practicalities are not a factor in her decision, she is rich and famous anyway.

  5. Madelaine says:

    I’ve always thought of Liv Tyler as the paragon of femeninity and beauty for her blend of native American, Caucasian and African ancestry. Besides, I can appreciate the fact that she’s poised and relatable -not like some of her moderately talented, grossly overspoiled, whimsical entitled counterparts (Kate Hudson). Liv ages beautifully.

  6. Lightpurple says:

    Why did they slap a 1960s floral bathing cap on her head?

    • BeanieBean says:

      The whole shoot has a very retro feel. I’m more astonished by the GIGANTIC white flower sitting on her head.

  7. Esmom says:

    I agree that the Tatler photos are atrocious. Least flattering makeup ever. What a wasted opportunity to showcase a lovely woman.

    I guess I agree with her in that too many people rush into marriage. And some of the “traditions” like showers and wearing a veil annoy me…mostly around my own wedding. My mom was so insistent on my doing everything based on her notion of societal expectations and I didn’t have the energy to fight with her every step of the way. I wish more people would feel more free to express themselves however they’d like for their own weddings instead of sticking so closely to what everyone else tends to do. Sigh.

    • Moorele says:

      Completely with you on societal pressures. I went along with all of it too and wish I had not! The relationship should be the priority, not the stuff around the wedding

  8. JanetFerber says:

    Yes, they effed up her styling badly. The kids and her partner are cute. I wonder what Milo looks like now. He must be a beautiful boy.

    • TIFFANY says:

      I follow Royston on IG and he post a lot of photos of he and Milo hanging out.

      Milo is the perfect blend of his parents. He has the famous Tyler lips.

  9. Valiantly Varnished says:

    I’ve come to really like her. My only question is why get engaged if you don’t want to get married? If it’s for the jewelry the ring could just be a birthday gift!

  10. Mo says:

    I loved the Architectural Digest video. I have a new dream house.

    I also was very sad when she talked about how many apartments it used to be. There were probably 4-6 families living in that building and now it is one. This is part of the reason there is such a housing crisis in cities. Rich people buying up apartments and turning them into huge one family homes. And having multiple homes in various cities.

    There should be (and should have been long ago) a rule that if you are demolishing apartments to create a larger home, you must create the same number of affordable apartments in the same neighborhood. Same goes with buying up all the houses adjoining yours for privacy (RDJ, Zuckerberg).

    • Alyse says:

      Yes the AD video was great, and she is so quietly charming (also in the recent Vogue video)
      The house actually seems like a home, not just a showhome, and it’s so beautiful.

      She’s one of those people I’m happy to see is happy 🙂

    • BeanieBean says:

      I understand what you’re saying, although sometimes these large historic homes started out as single-family-dwellings, got cut up later into multiple apartments, and then get returned to their original/facisimile splendor. No idea if that’s the case here. She seems like such a sweetheart, though; and I’m amazed that she was able to undertake such a project at such a young age.

  11. SM says:

    Yep. It must have take a special skill to make Liv all awkward and strange looking. As for what she says….she criticizes the class system and then turns around and explains how she loved to be part of the top of the top of British hierarchical system. As for marriage thing I sort of agree. I am in a long time relationship. We have a child, went though deaths and illnesses and have a house and so much more I don’t feel like I need a stamp that we are bound for life, for better or worse. I will want to do it thought someday. And I loved her home. So cozy and you can feel that it was designed for living and spending time there.

  12. Case says:

    I agree with her, and I think too many people rush into marriage. I feel like many get married because of societal expectations and personal achievement deadlines. The vast majority of people just so happen to find The One between 25-30 years old and settle down immediately? That has always felt strange to me, perhaps because I’ve never met anyone I want to spend my life with, friend-wise or romantically. I’m a very committed friend and partner, and I love being “in it” with someone. But after a few years, many people have tended to, well, disappoint me or hurt me badly where I had to do what was right for myself. Maybe I’m just someone doomed to get a divorce one day, lol.

    • Sojaschnitzel says:

      I’m the same. I question this whole “He/she is THE ONE” thing. It just doesn’t make sense to assume that you won’t find a better fitting companion somewhere down the road. I too have never married and don’t think I ever will. I’d love to but I just have too many questions. It’s like religion for me: I want to believe, I really do, but I just can’t.
      Doesn’t keep me from having very long and awesome relationships though.

  13. MamaT says:

    When my husband dies (because he has to go first, dammit!!!) I would never remarry. I am very happily married (except for the snoring which is really, really bad and has me sleeping in the guest room most nights which is why I’ve decided he’s going first!!).

    I am glad I chose well. We have a good, solid marriage. I would never marry again. I doubt I’d even live with someone. Next door? Sure. But I don’t want to share a bedroom or bathroom with anyone ever again!!!!!

    • BeanieBean says:

      After 50+ years of marriage, my 80-something uncle died and within a year, my 80-something aunt remarried. She was distraught, and then…she found someone. Go figure.

  14. NeoCleo says:

    This is a gorgeous woman and the rag decided to shoot her like this? I really don’t recognize her. I mean, I can barely make out it is her in many of the photos. What a waste of time and paper.
    I used to really not care for her because she was just another silver spoon kid breaking into fame and fortune because of their parentage. When I heard she was going to play a major role in Lord of the Rings and the part was Arwen, a character that was mentioned in TWO sentences for the entire trilogy, I was absolutely disgusted. But as a decades long LOTR nerd I had to see it so I vowed to hold my nose.
    TLDR: She was really good in the part and I have long since eaten my bitter, bitter words.

  15. smee says:

    Make-up and lighting suck in this photo spread