FKA Twigs ‘was taught your Prince Charming would choose you & you were grateful’

The Lost City of Z Premiere

I like FKA Twigs and I like her music. I’m not a stan though? I trust when people talk about how she’s a great live performer – she puts together a great visual show, she cares about the visuals of her performances and her videos and all that. But… her voice is not great. And so I can only take her in small doses (the one exception is “Two Weeks,” which I can listen to on repeat). She’s a good songwriter/producer though, and all of this to say that Twigs has a new album out called Magdalene. While she’s done new music over the past two years, this album seems dedicated to her late-2107 split from Robert Pattinson. Rob and Twigs (aka Sparkles & twigs) were together for several years, and they even got engaged. She was obviously a lot cooler than him but I thought they made a cute couple. I think they just fell apart on both sides and now he’s with Suki Waterhouse, which is still bizarre to me. Anyway, Twigs chatted about Magdalene and how it’s all about Rob:

FKA twigs is opening up about the process of “unmeshing” her life from those of her exes. The 31-year-old musician described the process as an opportunity to discover who she was as an adult outside of anyone else.

“Like when you’re with somebody, your lives become very entwined, with like your friends and family, your routine. And then the unmeshing is like you have to really find out — well I had to really find out who I was. But I’ve always known who I am, but it’s just kind of discovering who I was in adult crisis,” twigs said on Apple’s Beats 1 Radio show New Music Daily with Zane Lowe. “I feel like I’ve never known myself better,” she added.

She said in her latest album Magdalene, she explores prioritizing herself in a relationship. “When I had realized that so many other women had been through what I had been through, as a woman, I was taught that your Prince Charming would choose you, and when he did, you were grateful,” twigs said. “And it was more about being chosen than you asking like, ‘what’s right for me?’ and ‘what do I need to be? Nurtured, or to feel complete?’ For me, Magdalene is unraveling that, and finding my voice without society’s whispers,” she added.

Looking forward, twigs said she has a new appreciation for life’s little joys. “I feel now like my time is so precious,” she said. “I feel like my body is so precious. I feel like words are so precious. I just have a newfound respect for like, keeping the right temperature around me that like suits me. I feel more open, I feel softer. I feel like I giggle more.”

The singer concluded that now that Magdalene is complete, she feels like she has a “new blueprint for who I want to be as a human and how I want to live my life and how I want to make my art.”

[From People]

“I was taught that your Prince Charming would choose you, and when he did, you were grateful..” Dafaq? Are girls still taught that?? I didn’t grow up in the most progressive house and I was never taught that. Maybe you dream of Prince Charming coming to your rescue or whatever, but having him “choose” you and you have to be grateful? Nah. I doubt she’s intending to be shady here – I think she loved Rob and they were probably pretty obsessed with each other for a time, and then the obsession faded and they fell apart. Pretty standard breakup, but it has to be all angsty and melodramatic for the music.

FKA twigs at arrivals for 2019 MTV Video...

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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43 Responses to “FKA Twigs ‘was taught your Prince Charming would choose you & you were grateful’”

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  1. jbyrdku says:

    Most of us are taught that. We internalize it, and it’s unfortunate.

    • ItReallyIsYouNotMe says:

      I would put it a little differently, but I also got the message that “catching a man” was an accomplishment, even if I wasn’t particularly interested in him. Good grades, great friends we’re not nearly the accomplishment that having a boyfriend was. I remember comments from my mom like, “You lost him” (about a high school breakup) and “She couldn’t keep her man happy” (when Bill Clinton’s cheating first came to light). I was 17 and 12 when those comments were made and I knew at the time that it was an f*ed up way to think, but I still internalized it. Fortunately I will never say something like that to my daughter so progress is slow, but happening for sure.

      • Nicole76705 says:

        I have a sil that is like this and she has 3 girls *facepalm* She’s always bragging at family gatherings that she knows how to keep her man happy (my bil). It makes me crazy! In the same breath, she’ll talk about how she doesn’t need a man, that she’s an independent woman who can take care of herself.

        She’s an idiot and their family is problematic to say the least :/

    • raptor says:

      Yeah, I think in a lot of cases, even if people in your life were teaching you otherwise, socialization to believe that way was still strong.

    • Eleonor says:

      Agreed, it is something deeply internalized.
      Not long ago I was talking to a girlfriend of mine, and I was like: “WHY DO WE HAVE TO ADJUST OURSELVES? Why we are the one who must “keep” the partner? ”
      I see a lot of amazing women “adjusting” themselves to the needs of their men, because they were chosen.

    • Eva says:

      Yes I also think she meant women are expected to be the one who adjusts in a relationship.

      Not that she was taught ”finding prince Charming” is the only goal in life.

    • mash says:

      i was actually taught that only defer until you meet your match, and that you must be an amazing woman if not due to coming from a line of badass women but then due to the fact of your ancestors (black and native american)

      so i internalized never wanting the mainstream and fairy-tale. i hated playing house, and never wanted to have a traditional proposal or even marriage and babies.

      so not everyone is waiting or have been raised to wait to be chosen.

    • Nova says:

      Agreed. Totally. Men being the ones who “choose” and “save” women is basically the script to most romantic movie scripts and romance novels. Even the way patriarchy is set up in relationships, where in many cases it is the man who decides the pace of the relationship. We have so much unlearning to do as women.

  2. Ariela says:

    I’ve never seen a picture of her with her mouth closed. Same with Kristen Stewart, actually.

    • Cali says:

      My issue with JLo, but Twigs takes it to the highest. And her look here is…ummm Ok😬

    • Hikaru says:

      Her upper and lower teeth don’t align, big time. You can tell when she keeps her mouth closed that it’s uncomfortable. Can’t really blame her for it.

      • Valiantly Varnished says:

        Was going to comment the same thing. She has an overbite. That’s literally just how her mouth sits.

  3. girl_ninja says:

    She’s incredibly talented and lovely. The nasty Ron stans were brutal about that relationship.

    • Sunshine says:

      Sorta like the rabid Harry stans.

    • Joro says:

      To be fair the nasty Rob fans are brutal about all his relationships. They don’t like any of his girlfriends. They would prefer Rob date a Dakota Johnson or Emma Watson type.
      What they don’t realize, Sparkles doesn’t like conventional pretty girls. He likes alternative and edgy women. Suki is probably the most conventional girlfriend he’s had in a while.

      • Eliza says:

        His rabid fans still think him and Kristen are married with children. So, they’d still be heated about anyone other than Bella, I mean, Kristen.

      • Joro says:

        Nope, those aren’t Rob fans. You’re talking about (like 5) Robsten fans who think Rob and Kristen are married with a child.
        Rob fans do not like Kristen, Twigs or Suki. The only time they seem to like a female in Rob’s orbit is when it’s someone like Dakota J or one of the many Emma’s.

  4. PlayItAgain says:

    She’s a talented dancer and a very shrewd marketer. The fact is, no one knew who she was until she hooked up with Rob. I agree about her voice—singing is not her forte, but her music is something I can put on in the background as soothing noise while I work. I agree that they burned hot for awhile and fizzled out, like so many other relationships. It probably didn’t help that she had the paps on speed dial, but whatever. Both of their profiles were raised while they were together. An angsty breakup album was inevitable.

    • Nova says:

      I don’t believe that FKA dating Robert improved her career. It might have exposed her to another demographic that wouldn’t have otherwise known her, but I don’t think they are even the target market of her music.

  5. StellainNH says:

    Good grief, I never told my daughter she was a princess. I said that if you want things, you have to get a job and buy it yourself. I’m so glad she is now an independent young woman.

    • Astrid says:

      I was born in 1963 (56 yo), my parents always taught me that I was expected to study hard and earn my own living. Even my father was wanting me to attend college and be an engineer, not a princess. I’m sure my parents weren’t the only ones pushing their now middle aged kids to be self-sufficient

    • jenner says:

      This is how I was brought up—to be sensible with money, to take education seriously, I played sports, and I never had barbies. I never was into the princess thing or the happily-ever-after narrative. My best friend’s father had an affair and left her family for the other woman, this was a harsh jolt of reality that impacted me and showed me at a young age that the real world has ups and downs. The media may sell a certain image, but parents can instill values in kids that go against that narrative.

    • Ariela says:

      Nope, I was told I was a princess. I was born in 1972 in Argentina. My mother wanted me to go to university in order to find a husband there. She told me women were simply not good for certain jobs: surgeon (would you want a woman with PMS operating on you?), president (look at Margaret Thatcher). Sports were for guys (you don’t want to look butch).
      I was actually told that I needed a husband to provide me with the lifestyle I was accustomed to.

      You bet I rebelled hard.

      • Snazzy says:

        Me too. And despite all my accomplishments in life I was considered a failure until I found a man and settled down. It was one of many problematic life lessons I was taught

  6. Ann says:

    This chicks stage name pisses me off. It’s annoying to read. It’s annoying to say out loud. Even if I say or think the words in the acronym it’s still annoying. And she has her mouth open in a weird way in like 70% of her pictures. She bugs.

    • zee says:

      She has an upper bite, there is nothing she can do about it. Keeping her mouth closed would be very uncomfortable for her and probably look odd too because it would look forced.

      • grumpyterrier says:

        I don’t think it has anything to do with her teeth because you can see they’re closed. But more of maybe a philtrum that’s too short?

    • Lillian says:

      I think her stage name is cute and kind of sweetly modest, as I understand its from a childhood nickname (?)
      And really, people with differently-aligned jaws Have the natural posture so many mimic on purpose (because when it happens naturally it Is sexy…)

    • Madge says:

      Do you think your comments on her mouth will take away what a good singer and how she is a very talent person?

  7. A reader says:

    I am OBSESSED with Magdalene. It’s a phenomenal album, her best yet.

    And i really don’t get the comment about her voice. She played LA a few days ago and i saw some video my friend shot and twigs sounded incredible. She’s truly unique and brings something so interesting to the scene.

    • Valiantly Varnished says:

      Ugh she is going to be here in Chicago this Friday and I SO wanted to go but the tickets sold out and the greedy ticket scalpers are selling them for double the face value.

    • Madge says:

      Her new album is really good. It’s rare now a days to find a album u can play all the way through. It’s like i telling a story. Thousand Eyes is the prologue and Cellophane is the epilogue.

      • a reader says:

        Madge I am 100% with you on this. It’s wonderful start to finish. In fact I’m listening to it right now.

        Valiantly Varnished – I feel your pain!!! Same situation here in DFW. I can’t afford the scalper tickets. And my friend had a GREAT spot at the LA show – maybe 10 feet from the stage. Her videos were incredible – this stage setup for this tour is mesmerising. I hope you find a way to go!

  8. Valiantly Varnished says:

    Huh? FKA has a lovely voice. It’s unique and soft and there’s nothing wrong with that. Everyone doesn’t have to have a big booming voice. Thats why in singing there are literal ranges for voices.

    • Another Anne says:

      I heard somewhere that she had opera training, which makes sense, she can seriously hit some high notes. But her voice is soft, not powerful. She has identified a style that works with her voice.

  9. Lulu says:

    It’s not that people say this outright, but it is certainly in almost every message I received growing up. Every movie featured the heroine finding happiness through a man at the end. Every tv show featured a hot mess woman who wasn’t complete until her prince charming came (SATC,Friends,Martin,Will&Grace,Girlfriends,etc) and her jealous girlfriends who were single. Books, tv shows (the pinnacle of misogynoir for single black women was ’05-’11 when every news story talked about the single black woman crisis and how black women had to adjust their standards), media, society….its been there for ages and literally just started to fade away with Disneys Tiana and Brave. T.V. shows for adults followed suit shortly after. Thank the Lord my daughter won’t grow up with that.

  10. MellyMel says:

    I love her voice and her music. The new album is fantastic as well!

  11. Gem says:

    I… Don’t get her music. I remember listening to it when she first started dating Rpattz because everyone said what a rare talent she was and I was like…….. I’d this a joke? Terrible. I think she can look striking too but I like that she’s not a beauty.

    I knew Rob would end up with somebody bland. It’s in his breeding. Posh private school educated white boy. You don’t get any more uninteresting than suki Waterhouse.

  12. Meg says:

    IMO women are still portrayed as passive in most film and tv, for example guys asking them out and not her asking him. I think that’s a message to women to be passive and it affected me when I was at an impressionable age for sure
    Beyonce and other women say don’t wait for someone to give you power, stand up abd claim your power yourself. I kind of feel like that’s the underlying message here.

  13. Marigold says:

    My parents were all about me getting educated, finding a career. I mean, sure, some women have been literally TOLD to find a man and keep him happy and be grateful…but I think most of us (44yo here) grew up with the larger societal messaging, and that is more insidious. It gets in deeper. It gets internalized really hard…no matter how well your parents identified you as capable, talented, and independent in your own right.

    My mother never once called me a princess, and the closest my father ever came was telling me I looked “really pretty” when I dressed up. It was a kindness when he said that to me, a compliment to notice that I had dressed up. Mostly, he would say things like, “I’m proud of my smart, funny little girl.” My parents didn’t do that–the princess/damsel thing–with me, and they aren’t the ones who carved, “Your value is defined by whether or not men want you,” into my bones. That was the society and the popular culture at large. I mean, people have written legit dissertations on this stuff. It’s not a simple thing we can isolate and blame.

    I know exactly what she means, and I think she said it very well.

  14. Alex says:

    Let’s not pretend like we’ve never heard of the prince charming trope or that it’s dead. It’s looong from dead. The more modernized adult version certainly is “Ooo I know how to keep a man” as well as the women can have it all mentality. I feel like part of life is figuring out what you need in a simple form…and what’s true, and what truly serves you best. Gbless FKA.

  15. Scatterbrained says:

    It hasn’t disappeared. Men are still, by and large, the partner who decides what ‘stage’ the relationship is in. A lot of women in long term relationships still longingly wait for a proposal (despite how accomplished they are in their careers and every other aspect of life). As though it’s the man who gets to decide that the woman is worth spending forever with, or starting a family with, etc. It’s still (wrongly but widely) accepted that the man does the proposal/choice because it’s taken for granted that the woman will accept, feel grateful for being the one he chose to spend forever with, etc. Rage-inducing but true.