Pete Davidson on his love language: ‘I treat the person I’m with like a princess’

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Pete Davidson covers the “break the internet” issue of Paper Magazine and yes, the concept of the cover shoot was basically “what if Pete is a Dirtbag Ken Doll.” On some level, it works and on another level, I will never recover from the horror of this cover. Y’all know that I’m not a Pete Davidson fan so I came into the interview with low expectations. I get the feeling that the Paper journalist came in with low expectations too, but he came out of genuinely liking Pete and enjoying Pete’s lowkey vibe. It’s actually a good read – Pete talks about how he behaves in relationships, what he’s learned from previous (high profile) relationships, and how he sees his allyship to the LGBTQ community and more. You can read the full piece here. Some highlights:

Where he is when he’s not working: “I’m always in Staten Island, since I built this little fortress in my mom’s basement. Pretty much all the homies just come over, we smoke a bunch of weed and micro-dose [mushrooms] and we watch movies. We don’t really go out much, and I made my basement kinda like Vegas, where there’s different lights, so you can’t tell what time it is ever… Also I pump it full of oxygen — we have a thing that sucks the smoke out… My mom Peloton bikes every night… and it really sounds like she’s getting banged out…

Everybody being hyper-sensitive in comedy these days: “It makes doing college [shows] really hard. I refuse to do a college after this year ’cause it’s like, you’re just setting yourself up for trouble… Comedy is just, like, getting destroyed. Standup’s about to be about, like, sneakers. Like, “Hey, everyone like sneakers?” You can’t talk about anything. You can’t. The second you open your mouth and have an opinion, you lose money today. And I don’t think that’s a safe place to live in. It’s the worst! It’s why I got rid of the Internet.

He used to jerk it to Leo DiCaprio: “I used to jerk off to Leonardo DiCaprio… Uhh, like his acting….Yeah. I used to have a HUGE crush on Leonardo DiCaprio. I had this huge poster of him from The Beach in my room, and there used to be, like, “Leo love books”… Do you remember? Like, right when Titanic came out [when I was] in like third or fourth grade, he was just like, “teen milk.” There were love books and I had all of them. He was the coolest.

On his love language & PDA: “I do all that sh-t! My love language, when I’m in a relationship, is I treat the person I’m with like a princess. I try and go as above and beyond as possible, because that’s what you’re supposed to do? If you’re in a relationship with someone, you’re just supposed to make that person feel as special as possible. But sometimes when you put so much on someone, it overwhelms them, and then they don’t know if they could come close to that…Or if they can keep up with it. So, it’s very off-putting to some. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t, and then it sometimes makes me feel bad about myself because I’m like, “I did all this stuff and…” You didn’t care at all! But you can’t do that. I have learned that anything you do, it just has to be ’cause you wanna do it. No expectations. Otherwise you’re gonna be resentful.”

Being a good ally & a good friend: “Well, nothing’s cooler to me than seeing my friends crush it. I also have the most talented friends ever. And I think my friends are a good reflection of me… anybody that I f-ck with is sweet and morally sound, you know? I find it super weird that it’s weird that a straight dude has gay friends… like, some straight dudes do have gay friends, but like they make like a big show of it as opposed to them genuinely being a friend…

Female pop stars using gay men as props: “Yeah. I really feel like I have to be careful when I’m saying this, but I do feel like a lot of women in entertainment use gay men as props. If you really listen to any of the songs that they’re doing, or any of the things that they’re doing, it’s to promote them[selves]. It’s rarely for the LGBT community. It’s to make them look good. Like, how cool they are that they’re hanging out with gay people.

On Ariana Grande: “I don’t ever make public statements about relationships ’cause I just don’t think it’s right, you know? I usually express how I feel about anything through work. So, I hope she’s well. I hope she’s very happy. And that’s pretty much it. And print doesn’t usually age well.

[From Paper]

He circles back to talking about how he treats girlfriends like princesses and he psychoanalyzes himself a bit and says maybe he treats women like that because he lost his father so young and he always wants the people in his life to know that he appreciates them and cherishes them before he loses them, basically. His conversation about pop stars using gay folks as props felt like one big subtweet of Taylor Swift… to me, at least. But he totally could have been talking about Madonna or a dozen other pop stars. It just felt very Swifty. As for the Leo D thing…it feels very sex-positive? I mean, Leo was hot in the mid ‘90s.

Photos and cover courtesy of Paper Magazine.

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36 Responses to “Pete Davidson on his love language: ‘I treat the person I’m with like a princess’”

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  1. emmy says:

    I don’t think it’s a great idea to behave like this in a relationship. You can’t keep that up indefinitely and if the woman thinks that’s your baseline… I don’t know.

    And why are people constantly whining about not being able to make certain jokes? If people don’t like the jokes, maybe they’re bad jokes. Maybe you’re bad at your job. Move into 2019. Times change and so does comedy but I guess some white dudes can’t or won’t keep up.

    • NotSoSocialButterfly says:

      Sounds a lot like the “love bombing” in a borderline’s romantic relationships, but it also sounds like he recognizes that, so hooray for DBT!

      I hope he is happy.

    • WTW says:

      Treating the women in his life like a princess is likely due to his borderline personality disorder. I’ve tried to explain this before on this site, that people with BPD often idealize their partners, at least in the beginning, and, yes, as he said, it can be overwhelming. I have close relatives with strong BPD traits and have dated a man with the same characteristics. It can feel very nice to be treated like a princess until you disappoint the person and, as Pete said, they feel like you didn’t appreciate them enough. It sounds like he is learning only to do things w/o any expectations, and that’s great. I also wish he would pause before getting into his next relationship, but I doubt he’ll be alone for any length of time.

    • Trillion says:

      My best friend (a woman) treats all relationships like this. Like miniature marriages. They never last long. But that’s by (her) design. And she’s totally up front about it at the onset, like “hey, let’s blow this out and go 100% for a little while and then hopefully remain friends when it’s over”. It’s strange, but it’s how she likes it. And sometimes it works great, and sometimes guys get hurt. She has the control at all times, however. Just a different approach, I guess.

    • emmy says:

      I suspected it might be related to his BPD but I try to stay away from too much analyzing when it comes to real mental health issues. In general, it sounds like he’s becoming more aware and that’s great. My immediate reaction was “Oh hell no, that sounds absolutely suffocating and not like something I enjoy.” I’ve had two friends in the past who behaved like this, one diagnosed and one not. I couldn’t deal with it and felt really bad about it.

    • Eliza says:

      I hate that over the top (fakeness) of treating you “like a princess”. The men can’t sustain it. They’re not being their true self so the women are building a relationship with a caricature of the man. And usually it’s just so nauseatingly sweet they almost infantilize the woman.

  2. Virginia says:

    Okay, I’m kind of into this whole thing …

  3. jules says:

    I’m not gonna lie. I’d hang out with him gladly. Maybe not date him, but I bet he’s an awesome, loyal friend.

  4. Anya says:

    I won’t be able to sleep tonight.

  5. Gabriella says:

    I hate that I would.

  6. Audrey says:

    I absolutely love the cover! I think it’s especially smart since there are rumors about the size of his “appendage”.

  7. Valiantly Varnished says:

    I like what he said about putting so much effort into a relationship but he is self-aware enough to know that it can sometimes be off-putting and overwhelming for the other person. I don’t have any bad feelings towards Pete. I don’t find him all that funny but I have a soft spot for him. I think he is just trying to figure himself and life out and he is a pretty open book and so it’s happening in public.

  8. Jadedone says:

    I dont know much about him other than his love life in the past year but after reading that I’m rooting for him. He seems like a vulnerable guy figuring out life, its endearing.

  9. Renee says:

    Hmm, not surprised, love bombing is a common trait of someone with BPD.

  10. Gigi La Moore says:

    I just like him and I see why women do too. He strikes me at times as being very vulnerable. I hope nothing bad ever happens with him.

  11. SJR says:

    I like Pete, I don’t know how he got SNL because I don’t think he’s that funny.
    He does seem like a young guy who is trying to figure how to navigate life.
    And, I bet he does have problems because of losing his Dad so young.

    I wonder how he will do when he is off SNL, I hope he makes good decisions and saves his money. Yeah, I am 58 and he is young enough to be my kid, and his weed smoking/micro doses of mushrooms worries me, a lot of previous SNL cast members had drug problems that got very outta control.

  12. otaku fairy.... says:

    On the Leo DiCaprio thing: If a girl had said anything like that about a famous woman? Especially after having only been seen dating guys so far, but even if openly bi? People wouldn’t be ready. It would be called a thirsty lie to turn on men, among other things. Just sayin’. The ken doll theme is kind of cool though.

  13. Algernon says:

    There have been so many great comedy specials and sketch shows this year, I truly do not know what some comedians are talking about when they complain about how hard comedy is now. Plenty of other comedians are figuring out. I don’t know, Pete, maybe try harder.

  14. Apalapa says:

    I saw him in a netflix movie and I was surprised by how much I liked his persona, vibe, and acting. But then I read his words and I feel uncomfortable. He sounds immature. PS you know who does comedy at colleges and is hilarious? Roy Wood Jr. Other Daily Show comedians I can’t think of. ANyone saying what he says, that you can’t do shows at college, honestly comes across to me as a crappy comedian.

  15. Ann says:

    I had an ex that treated me that way and it drove me crazy. It’s suffocating. It’s not that I didn’t think I deserved to be treated well but it’s difficult to deal with constant attention, even if it’s positive. Like telling me I look cute when I first wake up in the morning is annoying. I know I don’t look cute. It’s not a time where I welcome feedback on my appearance. Pete sounds like he’s a lot to deal with it. Maybe it’s fun at first but it’s not sustainable.

  16. Mrs. Peel says:

    Love the magazine cover, can’t stand him on SNL though.

  17. JanetFerber says:

    I love the cover! So cool.

  18. Lala11_7 says:

    I’ve NEVA seen him on SNL…but I do like him…like I feel as though we could kick it…and my masterful intuition has ALWAYS told me that he’s not cruel…just immature…and more than a bit too much…

  19. Savannah says:

    “….before I suffocate them with my intensity and throw the whole relationship out the window, only to repeat it again.”

  20. Texas says:

    Just treat them like a person. That works and is sustainable.

  21. anneliser says:

    He has some of the most beautiful lips I’ve ever seen on a man. I’m rooting for him.

  22. Cyndi Crawford must want to jump off of a bridge, at this point.

  23. More things I didn’t want to know about Pete Davidson, the world’s most loveable cringe-worthy over-sharer. It’s like having an open wound in the room with you.

  24. tcbc says:

    This man is dating a young woman who turned 18 a few months ago, whom he has known since she was a minor.

    Also, while he’s correct that the way some pop women use gay men to get attention, perhaps he should examine his own behavior, where he uses women to do the same.

  25. Kate says:

    I adore Pete Davidson, bless his Leo leg humping puppy dog heart 😂