Nicole Kidman on her grief from her father’s passing: ‘I jumped into life, let’s try things’

Prince Albert II and Princess Charlene of Monaco attend National Day celebrations

Nicole Kidman covers the January issue of Tatler. This cover is… something. I get that they wanted her to look like a fancy British painting and that kind of styling is sort of cool and different. But… yeah, I guess. I’m always bitching about how magazine styling has gotten so boring/bad, so at least they tried something else. Nicole is promoting Bombshell, but mostly she just talks about home life, life lessons, grief and parenting. Some highlights:

The marriage journey: ‘I think it’s just a journey. And the first thing is there’s no right and wrong. There’s just different children. I once got this wonderful advice from my grandmother. She said, “Every child is given some adversity. Where you’re born. What you’re up against. Your parents get divorced.” There’s always going to be problems. And the greatest thing is that the love is enough.’

Traveling a lot with small children: ‘Who knows? When they’re older, they’ll probably think, “My parents dragged me around the world. I’m never leaving this one town.” Kids can be quixotic. Kids can be perverse. And there’s nothing you love more. When that shift happens, and you [become a parent], it’s a cataclysmic change. Everything shifts. That depth of love is unfathomable, and deeply painful, and extraordinarily joyful.’

Losing her father in 2014: ‘My three-year-old said, “But you’re not going to be sad like this tomorrow, are you?” That’s when you realise, y’know, you have to be OK. Because they need to know that they’re safe, that their mother isn’t going to fall apart.’ She adds, ‘Inside? I was beyond shattered. But I had to rally.’

How grief changed her life: ‘I jumped in to life. Let’s go on a plane. Let’s try things. Let’s go for it. Because who knows, right? I was never going to do theatre again. I didn’t think my heart could handle the adrenaline and the fear.’ Then, in 2015, she agreed to a role in Photograph 51, a play about the pioneering scientist Rosalind Franklin; her first show in 17 years. ‘But it was about a scientist. My father was a scientist. I had his photo in my dressing room. I would look at it every night before I went on… It was intense. But I’m glad I did it. It was one of the greatest times in my life.’

[From Tatler]

Honestly, when my father passed away, I didn’t feel any of that “let’s try things, let’s go for it.” But I could truly see myself feeling that way if my mom passes away. I think what drives it is that feeling of emptiness, that grief of “nothing matters right now.” I felt that emptiness when my dad died and I am still dealing with it, actually. As for Nicole and Keith raising their kids on the road… it’s funny that Nicole has never really been criticized or mom-shamed for it, unlike other actresses. I don’t think any parent should be shamed for it, but I’m just pointing out the weird double-standard.

The rest of the Tatler photos are just… weird too.

Cover and Instagram courtesy of Tatler.

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21 Responses to “Nicole Kidman on her grief from her father’s passing: ‘I jumped into life, let’s try things’”

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  1. Psu doh nihm says:

    She better quit with the fillers. She is flirting with pillow face.

  2. The Original Mia says:

    I’m not fond of the cover, but her hair color is so pretty. I’m not sure how I will handle things when my parents pass. They are both in their 70s and I just feel I’m going to shut down, especially when my mother passes.

    • Bex says:

      To be honest, it totally depends. My father passed away last year from dementia. I had spent years grieving for him and it was largely relief when his body died.

  3. Rando says:

    She’s looking a little Batman Forever-y to me in these photos (not a bad thing!).

    I think she isn’t mom shamed a la Jolie because she doesn’t make them public or part of her brand. I honestly didn’t know until this article that they travel with her, it didn’t occur to me.

    • lucy2 says:

      Same here. I kind of assumed they have their home base (Nashville I think?) and that the parents took turns traveling as needed.

  4. JulieCarr says:

    Nicole’s never been mom-shamed for working because she’s never made her kids a part of her professional image. It’s the actresses who blur the lines between personal and professional by marketing themselves as a mom who get the mommy-shaming.

    • ChillyWilly says:

      Good point. I have no idea what Nic’s girls look like but I would recognize Angelina’s kids if I passed them on the street.
      Also, I love her hair this strawberry blonde color. I hate when she goes too blonde.

  5. anon says:

    That cover. Is it just me, or does anyone else think she looks like she just drank a bottle of cod liver oil?

    Anywho, I just wish she’d stop messing with her face. Truly. It hasn’t looked right in 10 years and honestly, I don’t watch her movies because I always wind up focusing on how much work she’s had done instead of her actually acting – particularly in “period pieces” where no one had 52 units of Juverderm jammed into their lips and a frozen forehead in the late 1800s. And you know it’s bad when studios have to retouch her movie posters so she looks like herself.

    Honestly, she looks like s*it with all the fillers. Just stop and quit sending the message that it’s not okay to age or grow old with dignity.

  6. Mcali02 says:

    I don’t know what you all are talking about. This is the best she has looked in years. The darker hair, you can see her beautiful cheekbones again, and her lips look natural. Yes Batman-era vibes for sure! Live it!

  7. Sarah I the first sarah says:

    i think no one gave her guff because everyone is mindful of the grief she has gone through with her children with Tom Cruise. Probably feel like she’s suffered enough there.

  8. Sarah I the first sarah says:

    i think no one gave her guff because everyone is mindful of the grief she has gone through with her children with Tom Cruise. Probably feel like she’s suffered enough there.

  9. fabulousfunsteru says:

    Tatler is a toff magazine and nicole is wearing traditional hunting clothes of the British aristocracy. Riders hunt with dogs who would chase and maul to death foxes. It was banned here but there are loopholes and apparently still over 80 hunts :(

  10. iconoclast59 says:

    I have a very personal gripe with this article, and with profiles of celebrity parents in general. To preface, I’m childless. I am SO sick of parents burbling about how parenthood is so life-altering, how much more deeply you feel, etc. Yes, becoming a parent is a huge change, and I imagine you can only wind up changing as a result. But these remarks always seem to carry an unspoken inference that, if you don’t have children, you’re less evolved as a person; you’re more shallow. It really bugs me!

    Hey Nicole, I had to “rally,” too, when my dad and mom died, because I was the one who had to make the funeral arrangements. Unlike you, I didn’t have a personal assistant, housekeeper, or other staff to help me out. And somehow I managed to pull my you-know-what together WITHOUT a kid to motivate me!

    • Laura-j says:

      Here here! I lost my dad this year, and it felt like I was expected to be fine because I was on my own… which was probably harder. But someone had to care for me and guess what that was me!

      I hope you are doing well now. :)

    • Monicack says:

      I can empathize with you on both your points but I think it’s important to hear every voice and honor every woman’s journey. These celebrity moms are often asked about parenthood and they have a right to tell their truth. Plenty of celeb dads answer similarly. As for Kidman’s grief, it feels unkind to diminish it in any way because she has resources that most of us don’t. I wouldn’t dare assume it was easier for her because she had logistical help. No personal assistant could reduce that pain. When my mom died I had to handle every single detail. Being busy kept the crushing grief from completely overwhelming me in those first few days. If someone else had handled it I would have just been numb with shock and the pain of her leaving us.

    • Nicole r says:

      To be fair celebrity moms are constantly asked about their children, so they are answering.
      The bigger problem is that all women are asked about are their children OR their lack of children!
      I’m a mother but sometimes when I’m asked about them for the hundredth time I am compelled to answer “f@&k the children, my god! It’s not enough that every moment of my life is dedicated to them, can we talk about something else, anything else?!?”
      Needless to say men are not interviewed this way.